What would you all do? My SIL is making my DH attend my nephew's HS grad in Texas this June...sm
Posted By: poorMT on 2007-12-17
In Reply to:
We live in Illinois.
He would be taking my youngest son with him also. The total cost of the trip for the two of them would easily be $2000 since my DH does not get paid for taking time off work. If he takes this trip that would mean no vacation for me or my other two kids next year since that's pretty much all we can afford is one vacation a year. She is insisting her only brother (DH) be there at the actual ceremony which is on a Tuesday evening. Then afterwards they plan on going out to dinner to celebrate - no party that would be it.
I would rather we go the following week, drive the entire family and stay the week and celebrate the whole week with them. My son graduates high school in two years and I don't expect her to be at the ceremony for that. We probably wouldn't have enough tickets for her anyway.
DH doesn't have the guts to tell her "No" since she's laying the guilt trip pretty thick.
Do you think we are obligated to go to the ceremony? She has more than enough family members that live over there that could attend (grandparents, aunts, uncles, her other children).
Thanks for any input.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
she is way to stupid for grad school...
if she wanted a master's, she should have done that BEFORE having the litter. It would have been a lot easier. I struggle with having two kids (11 and 13) and going to school at the same time and having a job, etc., etc.
I am 2 down and 2 to go in the grad party category ...
We did the trophies and pictures. I think it would be cool to do a digital picture frame on a big screen if that would be possible -- like a video history of the grad's life.
Keep as much food inside as possible, if you are planning an outside party. Keep the adult drinks separate from the kid drinks.
We had video games in the basement for our son and a DJ for our daughter -- their preferences. It is important to include them in the plans. It is their party.
Include lawn games (water balloon toss, darts) if you have a yard. Have little games (playing cards with the grad's picture, colored dice to match the school's color) at each table to keep people entertained. They can also double as favors. A life sized cutout of the grad for pictures would be cool and corny at the same time.
I wanted to do a casino theme, but ran out of time and money. These parties can get expensive. Do a Google search for grad parties to get more ideas.
Son's HS grad program listed the "Class Moto."
Ugh!
Mid June near Phila nm
x
We usually go end June or early
July, but this year we waited until the first week of August and was already better on crowds!
A little old (like me) - exp. June གྷ
Okay, I'm only 34, but I feel a lot older!
I've had the strips for awhile, but they are consistent in giving me about the same numbers. I will be scheduling with the doc soon, so we'll see. I'm at least being more careful and paying more attention now.
At the church I used to attend --
they instituted a "reform program," whereby the associate pastor and elder members of the church agreed to take in single men who were recently paroled. They dressed up and brought them to church every week. They were introduced when they first came, but nothing was mentioned about their "crime life", etc.
My point is, to the newer church goers, these men seemed like perfectly respectable church-going men, all the while they weren't. Please keep this in mind.
Since June of 2007, my check has been
cut in half thanks to MQ. This will be the last year in an apt I love but cannot afford so will be downsizing. Thankfully, working at home cuts down on gas. My car is leased and I will be turning that in in April and will buy a used car. I go out to dinner once a month now, if that. I rarely order out and if I do, it is because I made a few extra dollars and want to treat myself. I went on a budget plan for gas and electric. I have basic cable now. I lowered my cell phone plan to $22 a month with 64 minutes per month. I am trying to quit smoking.
Being single, it is very hard as there is not another income to count on but I manage and am trying to come to terms that I can no longer live the type of lifestyle I had become accustomed to.
I think it has impacted all of us in some way and it helps to know I am not alone. We just have to do the best we can with what we have. I feel bad for those with children as that must be very hard making ends meet.
I used to pay my nephew to ..sm
Take care of my sheltie for part of our vacation because my DH would come along to the beach for a few days and then he'd be home the rest of the week we were gone. I'm glad DH didn't go last year because my dog died while I was gone. I don't know what my nephew would've done.
Thank you, Lilly! Unfortunately, I do have to attend with him and the other gentleman
because of the nature of the conference and both of them are the district heads. However, although I do believe he is a very kind and respectable person, I feel a bit too vulnerable at the moment to go it alone, so I contacted an MT I know from the area we are going to and she is going to meet me for dinner that evening and show me some of the shops. This gives me my "out" not to have dinner with them and also to stay within my boundaries.
I am a widow, so these feelings are more to new to me than I can actually express in words, but it has been a long time since I felt that comfortable around a man since my husband. However, as many of you posted, the timing is not right and I will not compromise my integrity as a person. I have faith that God will guide me in the right direction and I am happy, in a way, to know that there is hope that I will feel those "feelings" again with another person, although this is just not the one to be feeling them with.
oh but he did attend 4 yrs of school in Korea
x
she got VISA to attend way too late to come.SM
and Brad was great too.....different types of singers/performers....
don't be sore about it....*lol*
Do not do anything else until you attend marriage counseling - sm
You owe it not only to the kids (who did not ask to be born into this) but you owe it to yourselves to seek marriage counseling before just deciding to up and divorce without seeking outside professional help. Until you can say you tried everything under the sun to make it work and can truly walk out the door with no undone and unsaid business with your husband you are not even ready for divorce. Give it a try. I have been down this road before (but for other reasons) and can tell you it turned us around. We are celebrating 25 years this September and have never been happier. Best of luck to you both. 
So, June Cleaver... what do you pack for lunch?
Finger sandwiches? Please. It is one meal of the day and kids would eat far worse if given lunch money. Now why don't you run along and iron your aprons or something :)
Not until June 7th...Cant wait to have my girls home all day!! nm
x
This is the baby I want to buy. He was born in June - and is a teacup sm
Yorkie! If I can get him shipped, HE'S MINE! He will be as big as my Diet Dr. Pepper can! I LOVE these things...isn't he precious????
'Ima June Bugg' sounds like something you'd name
(Lots of registered Quarter Horses have names with Ima in front of them... i.e., 'Ima Scooter', 'Ima Real Star', etc.) Anyway, that's what came to mind when I read that name!
;)
My nephew is so cute :-)
He's about 6 month old now. I put him down for a nap and he refused to put his legs flat so I could cover him, so I put the blanket over his legs the way he was. He proceeds to put a foot on each cheek, reaches between his legs and pulls the blanket up to his chin. He looked some someone with fake legs with his feet like that. I was tearing up laughing. Such a cutie pie. lol
My nephew did the same thing
but he came around eventually. Have you tried any of the books for kids like "Everybody Poops"?
Nephew and car -- sorry it is long
My nephew is a Police Captain and this is what he has done with his boys. Oregon also has a law stating that for the first six months of having your license you can only drive with family members in the car, which they did. They had an older car that needed some fixing up and so and my great nephew (his oldest son and I) I went to junk yards, got the pieces that were needed, and then he and his step grandfather put it together and made sure it was mechanically safe and that was his car. Because he was in the Honor Society, he got a cut in his insurance but if he ever dropped his grades he would have to pay the difference. He had a part-time job while playing baseball and making All Stars and got a college scholarship for baseball and paid for his gas and running around. Then when he graduate and started college he got his own car and could not believe it but this kid does not care about fads or whatever and got a Ford Taurus because it was in good shape, could haul his baseball equipment and had air condiitoning. He paid for it himself with graduation money, jobs, etc. He is still doing well. The second one was basically the same. He drove the older car that we fixed up when David got his new car. Again they were not embarassed or anything. They just wanted transportation. He then got a part-time job, he was not in sports so could work more, saved up money and bought an older Blazer because he is fisherman and wanted the 4-wheel drive. But he again has good grades, and stays out of trouble. But they are responsible for the up keep on their cars, etc. I think it all depends on the kid and what they are involved in and so on. They appreciated everything that we all did to help them, they take care of their vehicles and are proud of what they have done. But I think that by running errands and doing things for you she is paying for the car and upkeep. If she is busy and has good grades and stay out of trouble, help her all you can. If her attitude is great, again help her. Just as long she doesn't expect it and appreciates what you have done. And not one of them have gotten a ticket or been in an accident and are 18 and 20 now.
Spiritual in other ways aside from God. Don't attend church.
s
Daughter wants to attend birthday party
My daughter is 10 and her friend will be 11. Her friend has been to our house numerous times and she is a SWEET girl. HOWEVER, her parents and their home is incredibly dirty. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a neat freak myself but their home is filfthy, as are they. Took their daughter home one day and they came outside, along with one of their younger sons who was in his underwear that looked soiled/brown/gray. Her mother seems nice enough but I get the feeling there is some sort of mental illness going on. Every time I've been around her I can tell she has major hygiene issues, built up plaque on her teeth and dirt under her nails, dirty clothes, etc. I'm not trying to be judgmental; I just don't want to allow my daughter to go to their house. Her friend is more than welcome here. I'm concerned this is going to possibly cause friction with the girls. I've talked with the mother of another friend in the group and she understands where I'm coming from, as she feels the same way. Wondering if any of you may have any suggestions for me. I know the girls are getting older and I'm sure my daughter's friend is realizing that her friends aren't allowed to her house, yet she can visit them. I really feel for her and I wonder how many girls will actually show for her party, yet I don't want to run the risk of my daughter coming home with lice or something.
Oh, I would have dropped everything! Celebrating 15 years of marriage in June!
My b-day is also June 14th!! Happy B-Day from a "Flag Day Sister"!! I used to think when I w
little that they put the flags up just for me. Parents never told me any different until I was in my early teens! We share a special day!
Have guy cousins in early 20s and my nephew
is 17. They shop a lot at Macy's. We're in the NY area. Apparently certain brand names are "in" like Ecko, Sean John, Polo, etc. but can be very expensive. As far as hairstyles, maybe check out the hairdos on some of the clothing/store websites. Here's one from Macy's. If I lived near you; I'd help with the makeover :) Sounds like fun. lol
http://www1.macys.com/catalog/index.ognc?CategoryID=11345&PageID=11345*1*24*-1*-1&kw=Sean%20John&LinkType=EverGreen
Heard from my nephew in Iraq!
I have written briefly about my 19-year-old nephew who is involved in this latest operation in Baghdad to route Al-Qaeda insurgents. Since it had been announced that his Division/Brigade was one of the primary groups in this action, we've all been just sick with worry. I just wanted to let you guys know that I had a very brief "I'm ok" email from him last night. He can't really say what he's doing or anything (naturally) but we're just sop happy to hear that he's okay. I can't think when I've been happier to open an email in my life! So I just wanted to share that happy news and to thank those of you who are praying/sending good thoughts/etc. for all of our troops. It means more than you can possibly realize.
On behalf of my nephew and other GIs overseas, THANK YOU
My nephew reports to me that the anonymous gifts to guys in his unit have been pouring in, lifting their spirits and reminding them of why they are so far from home at this Christmas season. Obviously, I don't know who all of the packages are from but to any of you who have remembered any of our servicemen and women overseas, thank you from the bottom of my heart. These kids (and they are mostly kids 18-25, in my nephew's unit at least) have seen awful things and mostly have to always be on the alert - how BEAUTIFUL that they have been remembered. 
Do you attend a local state fair in the summer? How far
s
I homeschool my daughter, but allow her to attend public school for the SM
social aspects. She is way ahead of her grade academically. Eventually, she will either be homeschooled exclusivelly or I will enroll her in a magnet school or alternative school.
I think in this day and age parents should plan a way for their kids to attend college (sm)
$1000 a month is nothing compared to what it actually takes to raise two kids.
Checks could be in taxpayer mailboxes by June, according to an Associated Press report.
Birthdays. Mine was completely forgotten by everyone! June 14, Flag Day. sm
Mom & Dad, longterm boyfriend, best friend, brother, I teach a kickboxing class and last class I randomly said *I will be teaching on Sunday, which is my birthday, so be prepared for a killer workout" - maybe I was hoping for a few Happy Birthdays... not a call, not a card! I kind of cried tonight in the shower... I'm over it now, (well maybe not really!) but should I bring it up tomorrow? I know B-days are for children, but I just wanted to be treated just a little bit special on this day! I've had a hard year with some illness and kind of thought maybe somebody would want to celebrate me! So here I am working tonight - but I think I might have to head out to Dairy Queen for a Blizzard before they close. I think something gooey and chocolatey is needed.
My SIL changed a couple weeks before she had my nephew.
She had to work it out with her insurance who would be paid what but if you aren't comfortable, don't go back. I'd complain to the hospital about the nurse too.
Clueless too and that's what I need to know! I snooped on my nephew's my space...uh-oh
I didn't sign up or anything - I just did a Google of his name with my-space and found it that way...he's not private. He's 18. So how would it/he know who I am? Anyone?
And the best is when I told my sis (his mom) and she said YOU DID?!?!?!?!?!??
I said, didn't you?
She said yeah.
LOL!
Just took my 10 y/o nephew to see The Last Mimzy. What a great movie
t
That's for sure, but my nephew's wife is a school teacher and
actually lost a job some years back because she took a child by the shoulder to calm him down after disrupting the class. They are not permitted to do anything, and God knows so many of the homes these kids come from don't offer any kind of structure or discipline. It is a shame, but we are just letting the morals and beliefs we once stood for be taken over by thugs. The neighborhood I grew up in as a child was once a very nice neighborhood. No one dares go there now. It is in bad shape and filled with drugs and violence. It breaks my heart. 
Holiday gift for nephew in Iraq
I'd like to send a gift/gifts to my nephew in Iraq. This is his first Christmas away so I know it will be hard for him. If possible, I'd like to include something personal just for him and maybe some stuff for his buddies to share. I asked him point-blank what he'd like and, typical guy, he says "anything" which is of NO HELP at all. I have no clue what they're allowed to have or not have.
You guys have any ideas? Thanks! 
Update on son graduation/nephew wedding
For those of you who may remember - my son is graduating high school this year and my nephew decided to get married in the same month. I had received an email from my SIL stating that my son's graduation best not interfere with her son's wedding. (longer story - that's the condensed version).
Anyways, my son's graduation is May 15. While at my SIL's today, they announced the wedding is May 11. SO, definitely no conflict (whew) but after a few minutes I realized that the 11th is on a Monday (apparently it's cheaper to get married during the week). And the wedding is in another town which means trying to get off work, get changed, gather all the kids, travel out of town (hour and a half away) and then get back home since the kids have school the next day and the adults all have to work the next day. (definitely not going to stress about it though and will be planning my son's graduation party for the following weekend  )
Do you attend any free local concerts in the summer? Are any offered
s
Warren Jeffs' nephew speaking out - see yahoonews
Apparently the boys, including himself and his brothers, are also molested by this monster. So he is just a horrible child molester who has brainwashed women into giving birth to new victims for him!!!!!
Admit it that YOU put yuor nephew's and your SIL's inheritance share into your POCKET.
It is me who 'got it' very clearly.
Ours attend local college PT and still live at home. Hard to make ends meet "out there" on
s
R u in Texas?
nm
Same here! Texas and
hot! Can't wait for the window-opening weather!
Where in Texas? I'm in far
north Texas. Just wish my kids could see real snow! Hayseed, it does sound beautiful there! I worked for a company in Maine and got a lot of information and it just sounded sooooo beautiful! But here I am in Texas, no snow, just ice here and there!
OP in Texas, isn't she? Anyway, that's what
xx
and in Texas
 almost 70 degrees and I have been out walking in the sunshine!
I'm a Texas
 girl too - in Fort Worth, where are you??
New Texas Rule
 I for one am so glad I do not live in Texas. To force someone to take a shot like that! It should be the parents who decide. I have suffered from cervical cancer and no I do not want my two daughters having this injection. We do not yet know enough about the side-effects and long-term effects of this new drug.
Do you live in Texas? :)
a
Southeast Texas?
.
|
