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What makes you think he's cheating on you?

Posted By: nm on 2008-01-30
In Reply to: No it was him - madmt

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Fabric softener makes towels softer, yes, but it also makes them less absorbent. sm
Which is, after all, the function of a towel, absorbency. :-)
Thanks everyone.....No he is not cheating
Last time he said he was "in love" with someone else, but she had her own family and stayed comitted to it, and he came back to me and has had nothing to do with her since. There is no one else this time, I am sure of that. I am almost willing to pretend that conversation never took place and if he is willing to stay with me for the kids, then that should be enough. But I don't want him unhappy, I still love him, and I suppose I deserve to be with someone I love too, but my kids and their happiness come first and foremost, before mine. I could be happy with him as long as he was content. I don't want him to stay though if he is just going to be an angry, unhappy person. I have thought of marriage counselling, he might be willing to try it. I am willing to try anything at this point.
Those cheating men
Over the last couple of weeks and especially in the last week 2 different families that have been much in the news, 1 family on a TV program and another family in government. Both husbands have been seen, caught, accused of having a child outside his marriage, another husband supposedly was going with a young teacher. Both of these men's spouses have taken their husband's sides, defending them, maybe even looking inward and seeing if possibly something the woman did was wrong. How would you react if your husband or significant other. Would you defend, get mad, get even or what?
Cheating men
Dateline tonight had a VERY interesting show on regarding this subject and people said as well it could be genetic - hmmmmm
Actually when my dad was cheating on my mom...sm
He has always left his cell phone laying around when home. Then she noticed he started keeping it in his pocket at all times. He even took it to the bathroom to get a shower. Or she actually found it hidden under a pile of dirty clothes one time when he was in the shower. He didn't want her to pick it up and see the calls on there.
Cheating spouses
I look at it this way, when you cheat on your spouse in the eyes of the Lord your marriage is dissolved anyhow. If my spouse ever cheated on me, I would definitely not stick it out for companionship or otherwise. It would just not be worth it to me because there would be massive trust issues from that point on. Just not worth it. For goodness sake, I would buy a dog before I would stay in a loveless marriage always wondering if my spouse was getting ready to cheat again!
Kind of cheating
At work our user names are the first four letters of our last name and the first two of our first name. Mine came out Horski which I kind of liked and on the boards, no one knows my gender right away too. I'm female by the way! You trying to pick something?
Cheating Spouse?
Have you ever caught your spouse cheating? If so, how did you catch him/her?
cheating spouse
I worked day shift and he worked 3-11 so for a few years we would hardly see each other at all. First, let me say that my husband is kind of messy. I would notice that when I came home from work, my home was in the same order that I left it in the morning. Even the curtains had not been opened yet. There were no dirty dishes. There was no sign anybody had been home all day. I would ask and he would always have an excuse..went to play golf before work, went to a ball game, had lunch with the guys, etc.

Then a woman started calling the house in the evening asking for my husband. I would say he was at work, ask if I could take a message and she would say no and hang up. She would call about 3 to 4 evenings a week. I asked my husband who she was and he would say he didn't know.

Then, HER husband called and left a message on our machine one day while we were out. He didn't say any names, just said stay away from my wife or I'm going to come over and beat your a$$. I asked who was that and my husband said he didn't know.

This all happened over about 4 months when he was offered a transfer with work out of state and we took it. He never admitted having an affair but I know he did. That was 16 years ago. We are still together and before everyone flames me, I will tell you that the man has paid dearly for that little fling. We've never discussed it because how can you discuss something he won't admit to? He didn't leave the house for years without taking 1 or all the kids with him, even to the grocery store or the post office. He never got to do anything he wanted to do, no more boys night out, no more golf weekends, etc. It got to the point where I was feeling sorry for him but he never said a word.

Now that we're in our 50s, I wish someone would take him so he'd leave me alone!
hubby cheating
I had a friend years ago who hid in the back of her hub's camper-cover pickup when she suspected he was going to see the other woman one night. He had a little *bed* in truck. She caught them and filed for divorce, later remarried and happy as a lark for 30 years now.
So corporate cheating is fine

You said - However, it does NOT justify lying, cheating, stealing insurance dollars and benefits just because you don't like it.


What do you call it when someone pays their premiums for years, they are told they are covered, then the insurance company decides they don't have to pay?  Sounds like what you just described above.  But it happens every day, and its supposedly OK, because its business,  I used to do medical billing, outrageous how many claims were denied because the ordering physician didn't do a precert, the insurance company decided it was unneccessary, or some other little loophole.  The providers didn't get paid, the patient ended up in collections,,,and IMO the patient was lied to, stolen from, and cheated out of his insurance dollars and benefits.


BTW, I do make my own money.  I'm just not too pleased at handing large chunks of it to an insurance company, knowing they will diligently seek reasons to deny a claim, even if I play by all their ever changing rules and memorize my policy.  And that includes the entire insurance industry, be it medical, LTD, life, auto, or homeowners insurance.


Cheating spouse/boyfriend, etc.
Many years ago I was married to a cheating spouse. I was pregnant with our second child when he took it upon himself to cheat with an underage girl in the back of our brand new station wagon. Well, I learned about this when a paternity suit came up with his name on it. Apparently he was so dumb that he did not know the girl had a boyfriend and being the sucker that he was he did not know that they would pin the paternity on him, and get money from him. Too bad it wasn't in this day and time because he would have been in jail because she was only 17, and he was in his 30s. This was only 1 in a string of women that I found out after the fact, and even contracted an STD when I was pregnant!! I also suffered spousal abuse, and have the scars to prove it. After 5 years of this I got out,and the only reason I stayed was for the children, but that was a huge mistake on my part. Now, whenever, I hear or see this on a program it makes me furious that these men think this behavior is okay. It is never okay and leaves many people, including children, to suffer much heartache.
Good for Kate! Who needs a cheating man.
x
I understand the problem with cheating by using phones
and my children do carry the cells to school but keep them turned off and in their locker....which kinda defeats the purpose of being able to call in an emergency but I do know the problem it can become. The kids are also not supposed to have them on field trips that are just for the day (they are allowed to take them on overnight trips). Well, my son was on a high school field trip to VA Tech on Apr. 16. If hadn't had a teacher that allowed them (just don't abuse them) we would not have known for hours that he was okay. I went to the middle school that very afternoon and spoke to the principal about my DD taking her phone on a field trip and the principal said that it would be okay. That's good, cuz she was taking it no matter what.
If I knew there was a history of cheating on former wives,
then my opinion would be different. I think that once cheating occurs, it is more likely to be repeated in future relationships. Not saying that this is your case, but it would worry me.
My rant: I agree cheating on one's spouse is never SM
acceptable. The one thing that REALLY bothers me, is that men claim that they have to cheat, since sex with their wives is no longer exciting and that their wife won't do what paid companions will and my thought is always the same "Did you ASK her?". If they ask nicely, I'm sure loving wives would be more than willing to comply. Within reason, of course.
How far would you go (or would you) to find out if your husband/lover was cheating?
I am married now and never even think of his cheating or even worry about it, just do not have a feeling like that but in the past married to a real dog. I then checked his pockets, his shirt collars (for lipstick, makeup), phone calls and on and on. How far would you go and what have you found?
Strange question. I punched my ex when I found out what a cheating SOB he was. SM
I personally haven't been punched in the face since I was 20ish and I'd like to keep it that way. 
this makes me sad...

Life is too short to be unhappy.  If you don't love your husband and are not attracted to him anymore, then why don't you leave him? I can't imagine why people (both men and women) stay in a bad, unhappy marriage.  It can't be worth the effort. 


Thankfully, I am very happily married (though of course, we do have our bad times...) and can't imagine my life without my husband.  But at the same time, I can't imagine being miserably married either. 


You need to search your heart and really figure out how you feel about your husband.  Good luck!


makes me sad, too. nm
x
Makes you wonder
how often this has happened with him over the 7-year period of his relationship with the other gal. I would be very cautious as the other posters say. Wait for someone who is worthy of you!
What makes you think she will?
I have always been very open with all of my children, and I have 4, 3 are grown, and they tell me everything.  So far I have one who is in grad school and still a virgin because he said he refuses to have relationships just for the sake of having them, he'll wait until the "one" comes along.  One is married.  One is 18 and did have sex at 17 and said it was the worst thing he'd ever done and he wishes he would have waited.  He told me about it the next day and was upset about it.  My daughter isn't dating although she has 2 boys at the current time who are interested.  She said "Mom I'm too young for that, I'd rather be friends right now."  She also knows that should the time come when she IS ready for a serious relationship, she could come to me to help her make decisions and take full precautions.  She in fact told the doctor she knows all about "crotch rot" and it isn't worth the risk.  I have friends who say their children won't even talk to them if they need a laxative and that's really sad...if they can't talk to their parents, who will they talk to?  So if my daughter tells me that she agrees she doesn't need it and her doctor said if she has no "at risk" behaviors she doesn't need it, then there's absolutely no reason to get it, esp considering there ARE side effects to it and it's new on the market, so the full effect won't be known for a few years.
this makes me want to
stop buying pet food all together and feed my animals food that I eat. Who knows what else has been poisoned with this, treats, other brands of foods, etc. I have been watching all my animals very closely, even though they don't eat any of the recalled foods. Scary issue.
Not OP but can you tell me who makes this?
You made it sound soooo good I have to try it! :)
Tell me about it- and what makes me mad
is if you struggle for 2-3 years and slowly pay off all your creditors like I did, you can't get credit to save your life.

Yet if I had just declared bankruptcy and let them all go I would be rolling in credit by now because they know that you can only declare it every 7 years so they figure you are a better risk. I think that kind of logic is kind of questionable and definitely unfair. I don't really want a bunch of credit cards any more but I do have to have credit to buy a car and/or a house someday and then what? Pay 35 percent interest??
Me makes 3!
Hope you don't mind another neighbor hopping into this string. Finally saw someone close to my area and it made me smile. I'm originally from near Hershey, but relocated to close to Altoona this past January. It's not quite as close to Pittsburgh as you all, but it was close enough for me to want to say hi! Felt good to see a post from "my region" ... feel like I'm all alone in this MT world sometimes LOL
Makes me wonder if he
is gay or something. This is really weird!


And that makes it okay?
He's an elected official; he is held to much higher standards than the general public.  That attitude is why the exploitation of women is so accepted in our sick and twisted society...geez!
My ex makes a lot more $$ than me so
he pays 75% of expenses, I pay 25%.
Makes me think of someone I know.....ME!!! lol!

Thanks......that was a good laugh.....


 


too familiar!


 


Sneaser


Makes me wonder...
if the delivery person gets this surcharge or the company keeps it.
That makes 2 of us!

Me too! - that makes three of us.
I did get married outdoors at a location of a famous movie though!
OH, THAT MAKES ME SO MAD!! My
ex-husband would literally refuse to let them in, no matter how they tried to push in front of us. 
That just makes me ill
Talk about milking the system for every little penny they can get. Seven kids and ANOTHER on the way! What a bunch of scum! Get a real job and stop reproducing!
That just makes me ill
Talk about milking the system for every penny you can get! There are many people out there who actually NEED that kind of help and can't get it! These scum bangs need to stop having so many kids just so they can sit at home being lazy and not get an actual job while our tax dollars pay for them being so irresponsible!
Whenever she makes a comment that you
suspect is made as a dig, try smiling pleasantly and saying, "What?" and waiting for a reply. If she is trying to be mean and trying to slip it by everybody else, she may not be willing to explain what she meant. If you do it every time, not quite hearing or understanding those comments, you will tire her out because her zing didn't hit.
Oh, well THAT makes it so, huh?! Look, CHRIST is
I don't hate Santa. But this business of "thank God for Santa" is utter sacrilege.

I'm tired of hearing how Santa is what keeps everything good and the hope alive. BULL.

Christ. Remember that name. Christ.

All of you who are ga-ga over the commercialization business of Christmas -- that is nauseating, it is sacrilegious and it flies in the face of God.

Pathetic.
Thanks - makes me wish my kids were little again.
nm
it actually makes no sense
to sell a sound, healthy horse at auction for a fraction of the price that can be sold outright. If the horse is too slow to race ont the track they can and are used in other disciplines. Its hard to believe that practice is widespread. When a horse finds its way to auction there are other underlying reasons..
OMG that makes me SO homesick.

I don't like her, but this makes sense to me.
nm
That makes me sick.
nm
money just makes you more of what you already are -
Human garbage in his case. Cannot stand to see those given so much just disregard the rules of society. Shame on him. So glad he is going to jail!
Your post makes me sad
If hunting bear because only thing you had to eat as in some eskimos, I could understand. I do not understand hunting these magnificant animals for sport, blood sport at that. I went to Alaska and loved it, saw bears out in the open but also saw bears that were hunted for sport and just to be killed for what, macho man? I am so sorry your husband and others do this.
You are right, everyone makes mistakes
but like you said they are held to a higher degree of accountability.

If you have every worked in a hospital, in any capacity, even as an MT, you know that there is a system of checks balances for everything from dietary and housekeeping to OR employees. There is a reason why these systems including HIPAA, OSHA, and JHACO are in place. Sadly, there are always those few doctors (thank goodness for the nurses' who commonly save their rears such as in this case) who think they are above "policy and procedure." This might be a simple case of someone needing to be reminded that they are not above any protocol and they can make serious mistakes very easily.
That makes me curious...how old were YOU the SM

first time you had sex (not that it's any of my business, but I'm just curious).


I was 16.  I wish I had waited until I got married.  But hormones got the better of me.  I was sooo "in love" with this older guy and finally gave in to his daily requests for sex.


I knew about birth control, but was raised that it was "wrong" to use birth control....which is ironic as I was raised it was wrong to have premarital sex too!  LOL 


I'm just really glad I didn't get pregnant until after I was married, but it was definitely a possibility.


So, I think we shouldn't judge her too harshly.


JMO


Snickers


wow..your post makes me sad
teenagers should not "always use condoms". teenagers should abstain. It is because we choose not to teach this that we have this problem. I will never just accept the "since the beginning of time" attitude.
and THAT makes him a nonconformist which is
x
do it also. Is there a technique she has that makes
x
But he is a good kid..he makes A's and B's...all that.
nm