What he told me about why he cheated
Posted By: frazzled on 2009-03-19
In Reply to: have you ever asked??? - Tab
I remember vividly back at the time, me sitting on the bed crying and asking him why, and him standing at our closet telling me that he and she just had this "connection." He said with me, it was just like what you'd feel for your sister. I'm sure he came back because of the kids and probably sometimes wishes his life turned out differently. Sometimes I wish things had been different too. Now those older two are both over 21, but we have the 8-year-old who came along later. There are many times I've thought that we might just be together still because of her, although we usually get along just fine and still have fun together. I wouldn't say there's a ton of "spark" there though.
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Not always. My husband cheated on me 26-1/2
years ago. I forgave him, stayed and have a good relationship. He has even, in the last few years, told our 25-year-old son about and said it was the one and only time because he almost lost his wife and he didn't ever want to take that chance again. So, no, not once a cheater, always a cheater. Maybe that way a lot of the time, but not always. 
Mine cheated
twice on me in our 33-year marriage. The first was 26 years ago, supposedly a one-night stand. I think the only reason I even found out was he was afraid he had contacted a sexually transmitted disease and was afraid to pass it on to me. Thank goodness he didn't. I forgave and I really did forget as the years went by. We had a wonderful marriage, at least I thought. I was very happy and content. Then 7 years ago, he had another affair. This one, lasted for 18 months. He was really smitten by this woman, and even planned on leaving me. I knew something was going on, confronted, had a lot of emotional issues, and finally the truth came out. He decided to leave her and stay with me. However, the things that were said to me about how beautiful she was, she was perfect, blah blah blah, and the nasty things he said about me to my face. I cannot forget. We are together, we are not close. I feel as if there has been a brick wall built between us. I am not sure if I am staying in this marriage or not. There is no trust for him on my part whatsoever!!!! No, this time around, I am having a hard time forgiving and forgetting!!!! I wonder all the time if he thinks about her, if he has only stayed with me for financial reasons, and so on. It eats at me, and I feel as if I have aged 20 years. So, yes, I think there are times when you can forgive and forget, and other times you cannot.
Well that I definitely disagree with - he cheated and you still talk?
Not me :) That is sort of giving him a message that he didn't do something all that bad or not that big a deal IMO. Seems the pattern has been going on for years, though, is he on his third wife now? lol You don't need friends like that. If one of your girlfriends betrayed you and slept with your husband would you remain friends with her? I doubt it.
They cheated in 2000 -admitted it
I did not know until today. Both CNN and FOX reported that a Chinese gymnast who won a bronze in 2000 admitted later on she was only 14 at the time, but the govt falsified her records to make her age 16. One of the girls on the team this year looks about 10 years old. I will not make excuses for the USA girls, but at least they won the silver without breaking the rules.
What bothers me the most is in hearing how several teams had gymnasts who were better skilled, yet they had to choose other athletes "of age" to not break the rules. Fair is fair. If the Chinese are cheating, everyone acts like there is nothing that can be done. Well, why not? Not to be funny, but I think it is only common sense to think that a girl who is not yet developed and has no figure yet can handle a balance beam easier than a girl with curves. Same thing happens in figure skating. Okay, now I am getting on a tangent. Sorry, the Chinese girls were awesome to watch, but everyone should have to follow the rules... makes me wonder what the deal is.
Gift for friend going through divorce-He cheated and
I am making her a CD of songs about survival and fun songs about stronge woman. Any suggestions? Also a gift idea for her when she gets her new appartment. Thanks
Don't forget that Princess Diana cheated even more than
Charles. Charles cheated with Camille. But Diana cheated with a lot of men and her butler covered for her.
I think that Diana handled this whole situation immature and not smart.
How could she think that she could stand up and win against the whole institution of the British state?
And it is said that after Prince Charles divorced her, she became pregnant with the child of Dodi (?), the son of the owner of Harrods, a Muslim.
Dh just told me a something
before it got back home. He took my oldest daughter to an out of town football game. Me and the baby stayed home as it is really too cold for her to be out. Well, he told me that this gal (recently divorced and hot to trot) came and sat by him and they were enjoying the game together.  He said people were staring. All I said was "okay." Okay, I need to keep my head. I should just trust Dh but we are having marital problems and the subject of divorce has come up but I thought we were going to put it behind us and work it out. Help me not blow up and blow it out of proportion. I can sometimes loose my head.
That's what they were told - sm
That the repair would be so obvious, it would be like night and day. I don't know, I guess if it were me, I would definitely want to know just exactly how much my premium would be going up before I made a decision. They do have the option of just havig their LR done for 200-300 dollars though, versus having the entire carpeting replaced and paying a higher premium. So, in reality, they will be paying for the carpeting anyway, like a poster above said.
He just told her (sm)
that he was about to compliment her, and that she could ditch the surprised act and just say thank you. He said something like that a couple of times, in other words to not act so surprised she's getting a compliment and like, really? really? me? and just say thank you, and that's what she did.
She really sang great last night, like she does just about every time.
Boy was I just told - NOT - sm
I just got a call from the mother of this girl who comes over now and then telling me that I am a horrible hostest and how dare I make her daughter feel uncomfortable.
OH PUH-LEEEEEEZ!
I'm laughing, hoping this means we won't see this brat OR her nasty witch of a mother darken our doorstep again.
So this is what happened. The girl comes over to "hang out". I was up from my desk moving a load of laundry from washer to dryer and when I walked back into my office, there she is, typing away on MSN messenger talking to friends.
It is a well known rule in this house by EVERYONE, including the kids that come over, that they do NOT even look in the direction of my computer because it is a company computer and my income depends on it. There are TWO other computers that are for family use. STAY OUT! Clear enough? Apparently not to this little brat.
I came back into my office and told her she needed to get away from my desk, telling her for the millionth time that it is my work desk only. I was nice at this point but not happy.
She then tells me "Just a second, I'm talking." That's when I blew a gasket!
I said, "Get out. Go home. Now." Very firm but not yelling and screaming like I would have loved to do. She turns around and makes this face at me, then pushes my chair back really hard as she is getting up and it bounces off my bookshelf, giving it a good rattle. So as she was walking out the door I simply told her, do not come back. You are not welcome.
Then her witchy mother called. I couldn't care less what the hag was yelling about so I just interrupted her and said, "HEY! She's 15. She should know better than to act like that in someone's home and if YOU don't teach her that BEFORE she does that somewhere else, this will NOT be the last time she gets the boot!" And hung up on her.
My kids were hiding in the hall giggling as all this took place. They never had the guts to tell her to get lost.
Before anyone tries putting a guilt trip on me... this kid is FAR from neglected, comes from a nice home, parents are well off, just SPOILED beyond belief and she believes that everyone should jump when she says jump. I AM NOT PLAYING ALONG!
I told her she should have said
They wouldn't like you either!
What nerve, what stupidity on his part, what ignorance. I am going to address how I feel about cats personally in a separate post and comment on some of the responses I have received. I am very appreciative of the responses and the dialogue back and forth. It is in some way healing, at least to me, and I hope to others.
tell her exactly what you told us
and she needs to be aware of the STDs out there..They think it will never happen to them, but it can...that is why talking with a GYN or nurse practitioner would be a good thing to give her pamphlets and brochures and also keep the lines of communication open between the two of you.
I was always told not to mix
your alcohols (wine coolers, beer, cocktails, etc), but more importantly don't break the seal or you'll be in the ladies' room all night.
Have Fun!!!
Perhaps I should have told the
whole story, but just wanted thoughts based on the information I did provide and the assumption that it did happen. What would you do if it were your child and you were certain that this is what was said?
Thanks to those who have responded. I look forward to seeing what others have to say as well.
Told her that already.
x
What I told
I have three - told them the truth. It worked for my daughters, worked some for my son. One of the big issues was "parties" and I just said no. They asked why. I told them that I knew them and did not think they would find it especially fun to watch their friends and themselves drink and ralph on other people's shoes. I actually described a few parties I had been to and all the graphic details. They believed me and decided not to go to parties until they were old enough to leave on their own power whenever they wanted. I just told all of them the graphic truth (my mother did not tell me and let me learn everything on my own - that was not such a good idea either in my opinion and she could have saved me a lot of grief if she had only spoken up. My son did drink when he was 18, but only at someone's home and says he did not drive. I believe him because he is now 37 and has no reason not to tell me the truth anymore. So, tell what you feel comfortable with. I think parents can have a big impact on their children when they are honest.
Have you told them what you told us?
I'd lay it right out to them like you just did here. Maybe they truly have no clue as to how it makes you feel.
He just told you
that he's looking for other options. He was being honest with you - he looked and hasn't found anything YET. Get a lawyer, get out of the marriage, and get on with your life.
My ex-MIL told the ex that she would
x
When my MIL first told me.....
I told her that my SIL was lying. MIL said she thought so too until the doctor said she was pregnant. Still....no ultrasound or anything performed. Still holding out for this to be a false positive.
I have been told that once a dog sm
tastes blood the urge will never stop. I have no idea if this is true, but it seems to make sense in some cases.
I was told that
in the morning is the best time because the pregnancy hormone is most concentrated during that time.
Told ya so! About getting a cat, I mean
I remember when you posted about your mouse problem a few weeks ago. Good for you. I have a cat who is a mousing champion! He would rather catch mice than eat or sleep. I know it's gross, but I don't have any mice.
My DH has never hit me, told him before- sm
we married that if he ever did I would divorce him in two seconds flat (that and cheat on me). I will never put up with any man physically abusing me.
Ok, did what the vet told me to do
this morning, well tried to do it lets say. I was supposed to feed my big kitty separate from the other 2 so all 3 each had their own bowl, water and I took my big boy in my work room, set him and the food down and you would think I was punishing him! He went and crouched under a chair. I just gave up on that idea but what I did do was put all their food down, allowed them x amount of minutes and then took everything up, dried and wet food. Instead of several times a day treats now will only get 2 each at night (very small bits of treats) so hopefully can make it thru the day- might be like trying to get an addict to come off their drugs. Wish me luck.
This is what I was told
by H&R block. I owe big last year because even though I payed estimated I did not pay enough (like I only paid half of what I should have paid, so I owe a lot from last year), plus now my taxes have doubled this year, so what she told me to do is pay the quarterly on time and each month send whatever I can in to the IRS, but make sure I do it every month on a consistent basis so they see you are making good with trying to pay it off. I'll have to explain to them that there is only one income, my taxes doubled this year and I will be paying every month until last years bill is paid off. She said if you call them and set up a payment plan they charge you a $25 fee for setting it up, plus interest for not paying it on time. She said this way you'll still be charged the interest, just not the set up fee. I have worked with the IRS in the past and they really aren't as bad as everyone makes them out to be. They have always worked with me in the past and I never got any hassles. But you know...this just sucks big time. I was barely making it last year. Now this year I work 2 weeks every month just to pay taxes. That only gives me 2 weeks a month to pay the rest of my bills. Which means I will be working 7 days a week as many hours as I can fit in a day for the remainder of my life. Will this madness ever end?
What my vet told me
I know some of this is no good since she's already got parvo, but my vet told me this about parvo prevention:
Spray the yard with bleach water wherever the puppy will be going out until they have completed there shots.
NEVER let your dog walk into the vet clinic before they are done with there shots. I had to carry my boxer pup in yesterday and he's 20 pounds now at 12 weeks!
Things could change very rapidly. My mom had a puppy that was fine when she went to bed and dead when she got up in the morning from parvo. It takes over quick.
My mom and I have brought a whole litter back minus one from parvo before, but it required around the clock attention and we both work with horses and have both worked in a vets office where we knew how to give IVs, etc. It was a very long week for us, but after about five days they were back to eating on their own and drinking well and playing.
I wish you luck. I've become very attached to my puppy and if something happened to him I'd be devastated. We are both praying for your puppies good health!
She might have told him (sm)
People often know when they're are going to die. She might have told him it was going to happen and when.
It sounds like he might have been there when she died though, too. It's hard to say. That poor husband...
someone told me....
that I should get checked for vitamin D deficiency. I just started working midnights from home at my new MT job first of March, and the weather here has been stormy a lot, my step-mom I believe thinks I'm starting to have vitamin D deficiency because I've been complaining of body aches here the last few weeks to a month and am constantly tired and I've been feeling depressed in a way. I thought the tiredness was just from lack of sleep trying to get adjusted to this new schedule...I hope its not deficiency, but I wondered how long it takes for symptoms to show up since its only been a few months, I don't think that's it...
I told everyone at 6 weeks...
then waited to tell son when we had first ultrasound...
She already told me she called and they said SM
she can't until March because they already had a claim. They would be cancelled if they claimed it. It does cover it, though.
My opinion, she should not have told them
Definitely should be up to the parents. All kids are going to hear the truth from peers at school . . . no way around that, but the teacher should have enough sense to realize that some parents would be upset with an adult spilling the beans. I know my older son (middle school now) was told a few times by friends at school. I finally told him in 5th grade (my parents never told me, and Santa still visits me). At the time, I was struggling with some religious issues dealing with extended family, and I really wanted him to understand that God is real (at least to those who believe), and did not want him thinking the same way about that when he learned the truth about Santa. My younger son is in 5th grade now, the autistic 10-year-old mentioned in the punishment thread. He has been told, and I just have not had the heart to confirm it with him.
By the way, the older son was told that as long as he kept quiet "Santa" would still bring presents.
I told the physician
I had them, have typed on this so long knew what they were and sure enough, have. What I am asking is there anyone out there who has had any sort of treatment for them or is this just a bothersome thing that continues. TIA
I think your gut has already told you what your head
knows - avoid this change at all costs. I won't go into all the reasons I would avoid because you know them in your heart - best of luck!
You sorta told her what she really needs to know, that being
you said MTs getting out of the business by the hundreds. If I read this, then I would think,hmmmmm wonder why? There must be a reason for this, after all I can work and still stay home, must be a dream job. To say she can do MTing and be home with her family, sorta of an oxymoron now days, don't you think? I think she would do good to read over a lot of the posts and see exactly how the people are feeling today about their work, lack of, pay and again lack of and then find out if she wants to chance this. Lots of MTs not only on the fence about their jobs but lots questioning what other jobs they could get into. So much unrest in this business now. I would never tell a person to start here. Posts all the time about not thinking it is going to be around with outsourcing, VR and the like. Being a stay at home mother is 1 thing but trying to provide and stay home, this is a chancy risk at this time.
someone just emailed me from here and I told her
I just told someone who read my post and emailed me that most MDs push Rogaine for Women or for Men. Problem with Rogaine is that 60% of it is alcohol and women in menopause, dry skinned, etc., do not need MORE alcohol on their heads. As it is, most of us dye our hair and are getting plenty of alcohol that way. Also, a local doctor where I live discovered Rogaine so my community has been pushing Rogaine for 20+ years and now Rogaine for Women.
Fermodyl #7 has no alcohol as I know it....it's just a leave-in hair conditioner/treatment. I wish doctors were much better informed about what's out there for us in many areas. Now we have to stay on top of all of it ourselves and then give our advice to other women whether we know them or not!! I'm glad to help other women!!
My housekeeper just told me
my plant probably needed a new Potainer..... Guess she meant a container?? She is from Atlanta by the way.
put up a fake owl......someone just told
He told the MD that's what I thought,
but she won't refer him for a sleep study until his insurance changes. It's not me holding it up.
:) I agree! He told me he wants to do SM
"detasseling" this summer...I'm not quite sure what that is, but it has something to do with pulling off "stuff" on the corn stalks out in the fields...hot, yucky, tiresome work. He says he wants to use the money to help buy his school clothes. Yea Andy! ;)
Chickadee
If possible, their parents should be told..
that their boys are insulting and ridiculing adult women on the street. Having raised 3 sons, they were encouraged to be kids and have fun but they were CERTAINLY taught respect for adults and that it's wrong to insult anybody ''for fun'' (particularly adults). Unbelievable that the poster below called this ''minute''. There is nothing ''minute'' about ridicule and nasty remarks--particularly directed at a perfect stranger just going about her own business!
The courts have already told me
if it comes down to not paying me by the set date, they set it up to meet me there at the store with the police, I bring a truck (hubby has 1 but just regular size so am gonna rent a MUCH bigger one) and then it is sold on the court house steps. What I bought in the first place was lovely dinet set but get this, plan on if they push me to courthouse steps, to have BIL there to bid on a similar dinet set for me so guess what, don’t see that I will come out on the little end of the horn any way it goes. Not just about the money anymore as the court, whatever comes in, takes a cut out of that but that is ok too.
How do you know they haven't been told already?
Maybe the parent's already told them and the kids or parents are saying anything to anybody about it. Anyhow, it is not your place to tell them.
The kicker is, just told my
elderly aunt of 80+ in a conversation just this past year. Talking about the rubber being uncomfortable for her, told her no more for me and she was really surprised. Didn’t like them in the first place but with those periods- oh well you get the idea....
LOL! That's what I told my daughter, but
xx
A friend just told me also
that she thinks they test for all that during pregnancy. Maybe she didn't even have it back then. I don't even know, but I guess I don't need to worry about it. Thank you for your help!
The police should be told about this, & maybe someone in the
s
Who told your husband? lol
x
I just told my family sm
that when I take some days off in October I will go away myself if I need to, just to get away. I was wondering exactly the same thing about being very lonely, etc. I have never done that before, but I need a change of scenery so badly I am willing to take the gamble. Hope you make the decision that is right for you, too! 
My mom told us when we started to ask - sm
I was 8 and my older brother 10. My other brother was 13 but he never sat in on these talks, presume he already knew. I remember sitting in the kitchen with her and her telling us how babies were made. I did not fully comprehend until I was about 10 but had the gist of things. I say if they are asking, tell them, it does not mean they are going to run out and try to do it, they are just curious. My 2 know that you have to have sex to make a baby, though they are still not too sure what that is (they are 7 and 9) I have explained in basics to them already though they don't quite grasp it yet, but in time they will understand just as I did. I am doing more the "period" talk now as my 9-year-old is wondering a lot about that.
I think they were told they absolutely could not have their sm
faces covered, thus the very purpose of a picture for identification! Just when ya think you've heard everything. . . .  Next time I go for my picture I think I'll cut holes in a paper bag for eyes, nose and mouth and slip that little baby over my head and see how long it takes them to haul me outta there!!!! LOL.
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