What do you mean by "wear both

• What would you do? - at the end of my rope
  • military school? it worked for a guy i know. nm - MTMT38
  • Same situation - long message
    • Forgot to add... - sm
      • I guess he is being good now - anon
        • He is... - sm
      • Thank you -- it helps just knowing - at the end of my rope
        • can I share a situation with you I will never forget - mtmomof2
  • Nanny 911 would say he is angry about some injustice once - Yo
    • After 6 months of counseling, - at the end of my rope
  • Important - Tonya
    • The child psychologist didn't - at the end of my rope
      • there is a reason and why would you consider sending an 8-year-old to a home? - you need to counsel. no message
        • First off, I was very upset when I wrote - at the end of my rope
  • Make him repay every mean thing he does to his brother with 3 nice things sm - MeMT
    • Oh and DON'T back down. Make sure he follows through sm - MeMT
      • That's an interesting form of punishment - at the end of my rope
        • Why wait for dad? When you do that, you imply you are the weaker parent, for lack of - better term. Set boundaries and stick to them. sm
          • I know exactly what you mean - at the end of my rope
  • Tell 'em you're going to SELL them to the - highest bidder.
  • i know it is wearing on you but the recommend amount of timeout is 1 minute for each year of age. - that is all their little minds can handle or they
    • I know the timeout rules all too - at the end of my rope
  • You won't like my answer ... SM - Fire away, folks!
    • it will work at what cost? Your child learns to - associate love with hitting
    • I don't necessarily agree you should "wear them both out" SM - RockinMT
      • When I came out to the room they - at the end of my rope
        • Sounds like he got a LOT of attention - this afternoon. Maybe what he's looking for.
        • Proof positive that time-outs are nothing but - a WASTE of time. Give 'em a SWAT.
          • I thank you for your input, but I know - at the end of my rope
            • I can't say - spankedMT
          • Never have to spank mine and they listen very well nm - Disagree
    • What do you mean by "wear both - at the end of my rope
      • Spanking. - nm
        • That's what I thought you meant. - at the end of my rope
          • Haven't spanked hard enough. Believe me, I know. - Make it memorable and they'll quit.
            • believe it or not, some kids don't - at the end of my rope
              • temper, temper - truffle
                • Thank you -- my husband works - at the end of my rope
  • update - at the end of my rope
    • I think you found your own answer... - quote he pushes my buttons unquote -
      • I think you're right -- thanks n/m - at the end of my rope
  • temper - mom of boys
    • I agree - this sounds like our cousins son - kd

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I am of the opinion that the 11-year-old should be punished as well because in my mind the 11yo probably was taunting or teasing or did something intentional to anger your 8yo and the 8yo responded.  It's not fair to punish the 8yo because he chose to respond physically and not do anything to the 11yo who instigating the whole situation.  The 8yo may view that as he's not allowed to defend himself or that you are playing favorites -- which I'm not saying you are -- I'm just saying both boys are behaving aggressively -- one is more PASSIVE aggressive than the other, but it's still aggression.

That's just my armchair psychology eval for ya!  Good luck to you!