Well...I am always nervous about letting my kids do things like that (sm)

• opinons anybody?? - maam1
  • Thanks for your opinions . . . sm - maam1
    • He probably will understand when he is older..... - M.A.
  • I say trust your gut- - Margaret
  • Can one of you go along? Pitch your own - sm -
  • Phone calls are defininely in order here first! Passed - on info gets screwed up royally. Trust your gut! n
  • *Alcohol* is the key word here - sm - Flibertygibbit
    • PS: *Gut feelings* are usually correct in my case! -nm - Flibertygibbit
  • Call it mother's intuition sm - trose
    • Are there other parents you can call to get more info on the family? nm - trose
  • Well...I am always nervous about letting my kids do things like that (sm) - IMHO

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tattoo.  If they decide they want a tattoo, it will have to wait until they're 18 and pay for it themselves.  I said they are saving for the airbrush tattoos at the beach.  They wear off after about 6 weeks and there's no permanent damage, no needles, just airbrush. 

I think sometimes parents don't choose their battles wisely and that causes more problems than the issue itself. 

Here is it is.... January 30th and since January 1st I've been asked by my 16-year-old for:

$90 for a graphing calculator for the calculus class

$85 for school yearbook  (and price goes up 2/1 by $15..she didn't tell me any of this until now)

$30 for hoodie for yearbook club

$15  for drama t-shirt for spring production... which she has exactly 2 lines in and will not be on the stage any other time.

Total:  $220.

I bought the calculator as it was necessary and I know she'll use it again in college.  I've offered to pay half of the yearbook if she'll raise the other half.  For the shirts I've told her to raise the money herself.  The drama team is also looking to possibly go to New York for a few days to take in shows in May and gosh only knows what that would cost... if it gets approved.

She doesn't work and says if she gets a part-time job then she can't do the drama production as they practice 3 days a week until 8 p.m. .... well hello she has only 2 lines in it and isn't even in any other scenes.

I told her to get a job or start offering to babysit for money.  I'm tired of being nickel-and-dimed to death for fru-fru non-essential expenses.... especially since we just spent $700 on car repairs and $250 for surgery on the dog (abscess on foot - she stepped on something at some point and messed herself up) and medical bills are coming in from my husband's numerous medical tests he had in November.    I'm not going to pay for her to go to New York either when that would probably take out entire family vacation money for the summer. Once those numbers come in we'll offer to pay a portion of the cost but that's it.

She also insists she wants to go to college out of state, and her dad and I have also told her she has to figure out how to pay for that because we're not going in debt for that when she can get a free education from the lottery in our state by going to a state school.  She doesn't do any volunteer work, play sports or have any special talents that would qualify her for scholarships. 

I told her that it's time to grow up and realize there is no money tree in our back yard, and I'm not going to bust my butt working extra jobs to buy these things for her. 

How do you know when you're about to have a nervous breakdown?  I think I'm on the edge.  I'm struggling with depression and I'm getting to the point where I don't want to leave the house or even get out of bed.  I can't even do the housework.  All I can think of is to work.  I too work about 10 hours a day.  Had tried to keep Saturdays free, but now am working then too.  I lost my job to outsourcing and am so afraid I'm going to lose my jobs, I have three part time jobs.  I used to take Cymbalta but now with no insurance I can't afford it.  I take Prozac but doesn't seem to help.  I have 7 animals that depend on me and can just manage to take care of them.  I live alone.  If I don't work, I feel lazy and guilty.    I tried to do something I enjoy last night and just didn't enjoy myself like I usually do and wished I had just stayed home.

Thanks for letting me vent.

creeping back up again.  In my area it went from $1.59 to the present price of $1.99 a gallon.  Any hope that it won't get to $4.00 again? 

Obviously your husband has some deep hurts and a lot of anger.  Forgiveness is the key.  I know it's a lot easier said than done but it benefits the person doing the forgiving, not the "forgivee".  It doesn't mean he is condoning what was done to him.  Maybe the stepfather is doing the best he knows how, who knows.  We all have our issues.  Your husband does need to work on his anger and not bring the kids into it though.  Prayers for your hubby and your family. 

Things other people fear that I do not include snakes (awwww, they so cute! they look like they're smiling!), rats, gangbangers (except Mara Salvatrucha, move them up to my "scary" list), poverty, death, traveling at high rates of speed with almost anyone sober, bats (CUTE!!!!!), homeless people, Sasquatch, most of my male friends, bears, mountain lions. 

Fear is such an odd thing, don't you think? So much of it is relative to our own experiences in life, yet at the same time some of them are downright irrational. 

So, how 'bout you? What will send  you running screaming in the other direction, and what things can you take care of when someone else goes running screaming in the other direction?

I would think that some of the $12,000 A YEAR he paid in support for over 9 years should have been enough to save some for college. He paid his dues so to speak, always paid the support on time, had insurance for them, etc. He told them straight up to pay for their own college. Is there something wrong with that?

I went through a similar situation with my (now ex-) husband's family during the ten years we were married.

Your husband is NOT the problem, his parents are. You said that your husband tried (albeit unsuccessfully) to get along with his father. So, it seems to me that he *DID* try as best as he could. But, sometimes, no matter how hard you try, things don't work out. So you do what the song says, "You have to know when to hold up; know when to fold up ..."

Now, it seems to me that his parents are treating your children like "holiday turkeys," ... bring them to be brought to the table once or twice a year, but ignore them the rest of the year. Yes, that's pretty much what it sounds like, and my heart goes out to your children 'cause I know the pain they are suffering ... because of their grandparents.

I also suspect that the ONLY reason your husband's parents went to the event was to "stick it" to your husband, and not because of the grandchildren. When you love someone and are truly proud of them, you do everything you can to be part of their life.

The ONLY people who matter in all of this are your immediate family ... You, your husband, and your children. Do not let his parents tear you all apart. I think you all need to get into therapy (you, your husband, and the children), so you can work through this problem AS A FAMILY UNIT, 'cause you're the only family that truly matters. You're all in pain and all of your feelings need to be counted, by each other.

Take it from someone who lived it. 

Your writing my store.  I too went to court over 20 times due to custody battle with a dud.  After 4 years of being dragged in and out of court, I ended up the what I had before I started $100 a week.  I did get sole custody of my son though.  I spent probably about $20,000 on lawyers (4 of them).   I wrote a credit check for $5000 to hold is escrow because I had to sell my house and was planning on paying it after the sale of my house.  Well, the lawyer cashed my check and ended up in jail after he ripped off about $75,000 from clients.  I was out $5000.  

I also had a warrant out for my arrest becuse my ex took a notice I had to go to court out of my mail box.  Being that he was good friends with the neighbors from h&#%, I did get arrested and put in jail for about 4 hours which cost me another $250 for the bail. 

Keep your head up.  It will get better.  I haven't gone to court since 8/05 because both judges, the one in family court and the one in municipal court both told my ex to leave me alone.    Everytime I get the mail I'm expecting to get a notice to go to court.   Believe it or not, it wasn't so bad being in jail, a cell to myself, and away from the h$&% he put me through. 

So here I am, had to sell my house, broke as anything, living in a condo, but my kid is all mine. The ex moved 2 minutes away from me "to keep an eye on me" but what goes around comes around and I'm just waiting for the day he gets what he deserves.  My son refuses to go to his house because his girlfriend also took me to court a few times.  He is supposed to pick him up on Saturday morning and bring him home Sunday night every weekend.  So guess who has to give the kid money for the weekend - me.   That comes out of the $100 a week along with lunch money, clothing, food, etc.   I literally ended up having a nervous breakdown, 6 days in the looney bin. 

Keep your head up, I know exactly what you're going through and somehow it does get better.  ');>

Hayseed said, "No more breads, pastas, rice, or taters....all the things we really loved." That could be part of my problem. We've been eating a lot of pasta, rice and taters because hubby can't have dark greens, which includes salads, green beans, etc. because of gout and on Coumadin for AVR.  Don't know what else to make anymore.

We gave up coffee, now, too, because both of us were having stomach problems with it. Two cups a day was our limit. He can survive with it, I can't seem to do that. LOL

Dinosaur said, " I had undiagnosed diabetes and would just "poop" out when my blood sugar was too low (or even too high!)."  Diabetes runs in my family and I've been watching my counts for the past 10 years. So far, so good. I don't eat sugary stuff like pies,cakes, candy, soda. Don't like sweets that much.

I was checked for Lyme disease a couple years ago because I had 2 tick bites. That was negative.

The only allergy I have is my home. Ever since we moved to this house, I've had the flu, colds, runny nose, sneezing, coughing, etc.

Guess I'll have to make an appointment with a doctor and try to find out. Usually I'm one of those people who has something wrong that no one can figure it out. When I was 40, I had mono (rare for my age group) and was told I was "borderline Epstein-Barr and Guillame-Barre [sic]."

 I was also checked for B12 deficiency (borderline), Anemia (borderline), rheumatoid arthritis, etc. You name it, I had the test over a 2 year period. The answer? Nada. I'm beginning to think all these "borderline" tests are coming back to bite me.

Thanks for your help. I think I will make an appointment to get checked out again.

1.  Your house payment probably also has your taxes and insurance added in.  If paid off, you'll still have to pay these.  Mine account for about 1/2 of my total house payment.  Plus, 6% is low compared to the other interest rates.  

2.  Debt to credit ratio:  I've had all of my credit cards increase their rates to "default" rates just because my debt was a high percentage of all my credit (no missed payments, no late pays, etc.)  This will affect the teaser rates as well. 

3.  Your 401k is also probably earning some type of interest.  Take that "lost" interest from money you've borrowed into account.  That will help you better compare the interest rates. 

If you feel you have to talk to a debt counselor, there is no shame in that!  Just make sure it's a reputable company.  As with most things, there are a lot of scams out there.  Good Luck!