Well, I'm guilty of giving neighbors' dog
Posted By: dog treats.....but .........sm on 2008-01-16
In Reply to: Need opinion - anon
he does come over our fence, literally climbs over, and comes into our yard and then our house. He goes straight to the kitchen, waits for a treat and then goes out the front door and to his yard. He gets ignored a lot so I feel sorry for him. He's so cute.
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- Need opinion - anon
- Well, I'm guilty of giving neighbors' dog - dog treats.....but .........sm
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Guilty Mom
Well, you've already said what my feelings are which is, I would snoop if I felt that I had a reason to and I've always told my children this. Privacy goes out the window if something is wrong. But, you admit you did it just out of nosiness - oh well, none of us are perfect and we get a little "crazy" sometimes when it comes to our children. Good for her (and you) that it just confirmed her maturity and that she's a good kid (with obviously good parents).
As far as her relationship with her dad, I would not talk to her about what you've read, but maybe try to finagle (spelling?) some time for them to be together to get a little closer. I can say at that age, I pretty much felt the same way about my father and couldn't wait also to get out of my house. Ended up getting married at 18 straight out of high school. BUT, as I've aged, I've become very close to my father and realize a lot of what I didn't like about him when I was younger was just him wanting us to behave and being worried about us kids. So, in other words, you may not be able to do anything now to enhance that relationship, but hopefully it will grow on its own. Can you talk to your husband about this?
Guilty pleasures
Mine too! I love Y&R and I have been watching since I was a teenager. I think Phyllis is great! I would like to see her back with Jack though.
I'm not sure Nick is dead either. I guess time will tell.
Guilty all the time - why?? (sm)
I constantly feel guilty. If I exercise, I feel guilty for taking the time to do that. If I don't I feel guilty because I didn't. If I diet, I feel guilty for thinking too much about what I am going to eat and taking too much time for myself. If I take a day off from work I feel guilty, but if I don't work and and spend the day with my family I feel guilty for that too. What the heck is wrong with me? I wake up in the middle of the night feeling guilty. What is wrong with me??
I feel so guilty!
I have 3 cats, 1 older and 2 younger and they have been out in the garage (the older one is brought in to spend the night in the washroom) since Monday and will have to stay there until next Monday because am having new tile put in my home. My heart just could break knowing those babies are so used to being in here with me and keeping me company. I am going to do something tonight that my DH would not agree with- but he is not here and I am. I am going to bring all 3 into the bedroom for awhile and put them on the bed and having a good loving session with them before it is out to the garage again. I hope they will understand.
I am so sad and feel guilty about my cat
My furgirl of 18 years died at my home about a couple of months ago. I do not know how to get over the feeling of guilt. She had a stroke several months ago, being blinded and deaf at that time but recovered from that. I tried all to help her , even spoon feeding to make sure she ate okay but was finally told by her doctor that her organs were failing. I knew the day before she died her end was coming because she only urinated 1 time. The next day I held her in my arms and she refused even water then and I knew her life was ending. What bothers me so much, even now, is that I did not hold her up until the time she died so she could die in my arms- I made her comfortable with a light blanket with her head supported on a little pillow but I am so guilty and sad. I don’t know how to get over this. What can I do? I loved her so much and now I feel like I let her down in her time of needing someone to be close. I held her for about 5 hours the first of that day but why did I not continue to hold her? I should have and now I am paying with loads of guilt.
Please don't feel guilty...
Your sweet furgirl knew how much you loved her, and you did everything possible to make her comfortable at the end. I believe that people sometimes wait until their loved ones leave the hospital before feeling free enough to let go. It may be possible that it was easier for her to pass on while she was not in your arms. Try to remember the good times and take solace in the fact that the two of you enjoyed years of love and companionship. My heart goes out to you!
Yes, you are right that we should not feel guilty sm
and that's the whole point of my original post. You have already gotten the point somewhere along the line and I am glad for you. For those of us who have not gotten the point yet, or are just now starting to get it, why can't you either be encouraging or not comment? As far as Oprah, I personally don't see her as being the same type of image as Martha Stewart or The View.
do not feel guilty
Do not feel guilty and do not second guess yourself. You know your daughter. And no, you are not over-reacting. If you feel there is a problem, there most likely is. I went through this same thing with one of my daughters. She had been a straight A student, triple-letter athlete, etc., etc., etc., and then bang....whole new kid. She couldn't wait to be out of our home. No one who hasn't been through this can fathom the gamut of emotion it involves. In the end, it was our responsibility as parents to do everything in our power to protect this child from herself. Yes, she hated us. She once went 3 full months without speaking to us (it was the most peaceful 3 months we had had in a long time!) but we started her in counseling and didn't back down. It took a very long time, longer than I care to think about, but finally started to see some changes in her. We discovered she suffers from a significant chemical imbalance that caused depression and once she agreed to start medications (she only agreed to prove us wrong), the change was amazing. We got our daughter back. She is now a successful professional with a family of her own. Point is, you need to seek professional help. She will resist but stick to your guns. If you do not seize every avenue available to you, you will continue to doubt yourself. My heart goes out to you as I know how difficult this is. I was lucky; for my family the counseling paid off. I now have a very close relationship with this daughter. I hope you find the same.
OJ Found Guilty
Simpson Found Guilty on All Charges
By LINDA DEUTSCH, AP
posted: 10 MINUTES AGOcomments: 1245filed under: Crime News, National NewsPrintShareText SizeAAALAS VEGAS (Oct. 3) --
Thirteen years to the day after being acquitted of killing his wife and her friend in Los Angeles, O.J. Simpson was found guilty of robbing two sports-memorabilia dealers at gunpoint in a Las Vegas hotel room.
The 61-year-old former football star was convicted of all 12 counts late Friday after jurors deliberated for more than 13 hours. He released a heavy sigh as the charges were read and was immediately taken into custody.
There is nothing to feel guilty about.
In a perfect world the child whose name was drawn would not already have a Wii, and perhaps it would even be on the top of his wish list. But we don't live in a perfect world. I'm sure the orthodontist who is awarding the prize would be just as happy to know that your child got something else that he really wanted in exchange for the Wii that he already had. A prize is a prize is a prize. I think you all are being silly for trying ot make her feel like she is doing something wrong.
I agree his is guilty as well, I just wonder
why all of the sudden she believes her sisters now.
Too bad they don't feel guilty ENOUGH to keep themselves from
going into Tiffany's, etc and buying that garbage - cripes!!
I have been guilty of the same thing
The best thing to do is just make a list and stick to it. Clothing used to be my biggest weakness so I try to avoid that area in the store since I have plenty of clothes. At craft fairs or anything extra I get to do (rare occasion anymore) I usually just take cash only. I went to an arts & craft fair 2 weeks ago and only took $50 cash. When it was gone, I just went home.
yes, i sure did andyou can't tell me he wasn't guilty. nm
;
I hear you. I feel so guilty...sm
That I can't bring these cats inside. It's so much safer for cats to be indoors. I've read that the average lifespan of an outdoor cat is only 2 years, (because of cars, dogs, etc.) and I worry about them all the time.
I never planned to have cats, because I think they should be indoors, which I can't do because I'm so darn allergic to them, and because our dogs are indoors and are not at all cat friendly.
But then these 2 came along, and they're feral. So my choices were to either ignore them and let them continue to fend for themselves, call the shelter to come and trap them (but they wouldn't be put up for adoption because they're feral, they'd be put down right away)... or do what I did (trap, neuter, vaccinate, release) and take responsibility for their care. So that's what I did.
It's definitely not a perfect situation. We have considered making the cat house entirely enclosed so they stay in there. It is a pretty big area, but I don't know if that's a good idea or not.
sounds to me he is guilty. maybe he is having an affair and sm
wants you to divorce him and that is his way of trying to get you to do so. I would leave the SOB. No one deserves that sort of verbal abuse. Just my 2 cents.
Sorry for your loss,...don't feel guilty though (sm)
When I am sad about something, I have a tendency to blame myself - somehow I did something wrong, otherwise why would I feel so bad? I know logically that is not rational but in my pain I always find something I did "wrong." I sometimes think back to things I did in the past and I ask myself why I did what I did and why I did not do things differently. But occasionally when I have done that, I have gone back mentally and through through all of the circumstances and I realize that if given another chance, I would probably do things the same way again. I have a habit of second-guessing my past choices - as if today I am somehow a different person than I was yesterday. The truth is you were just as good a person during the time that your beloved pet's life was ending as you are now. There were probably reasons you did not hold her the entire time...you didn't know exactly when she would pass away, maybe you felt she would be more comfortable... you are good now and you were good then...as many other posters have said, you gave her a wonderful, loving life. Don't confuse your grief with guilt...you miss her, of course, but you did not do anything wrong. Take care
I'm feeling guilty and ashamed
I have a confession to make. Yesterday on an impulse I read my daughter's diary. She's sixteen, and she and I have always had a good relationship. I can't justify what I did by saying I suspected something. I was just curious, and knowing that she's in the beginnings of her first romance I was looking to see if there was anything - - romantic? Shame on me!
As it is, I'm happy to know that with a few exceptions that were rather minor (details of conversations, etc) she pretty much has already told me just about everything she wrote about. In a way, that makes me feel guiltier. What the heck was I thinking, betraying her privacy like that? It confirmed how much she cares about this boy - I knew that - said how much she hates her father and wants to get out of our house - knew that too, but not quite how much!
Now I'm going to have to monitor what I say to her so I don't let on I know these details. I want to talk to her about her relationship with her dad without letting on I know how bad she feels. At the same time, I'm really, really happy to find out that she's as good a kid as I have always felt she is, and so open and honest with me.
I guess I'll just have to chalk this up to experience and be glad I didn't come across anything I would have to act on like drugs or sexual activity or something.
Feedback, anybody?
OJ book and trial, innocent or guilty?
I saw the message about OJ and the book about whether or not he actually did the crime. What I would like to know from the MTers discussing this, did any of you watch the trial from start to finish? The newspapers, television shows, etc. most all the time fabricated parts leaning towards his part in this crime. I saw it all from start to finish, every single day and after that made my own decision regarding the guilt or innocence, not by what I read in the papers or heard on the news. The most important piece of "evidence" supposedly was the glove issue. The trial showed a receipt from a store from accessories. Never ever did they match a scanned number, price, date bought or whatever with the glove buying, but then again I guess most of you watched all the trial?
He's guilty as sin and I cannot read his obituary in the news
nm
Michael Vick pleds GUILTY to
dogfighting charges and will be sentenced December 10th. He is having a news conference at about 11:30 a.m. EST. There are people that are supporting him. How can anyone condone what he has done. There were supporters at the court house in Virginia who were clapping and singing and saying that they LOVED HIM. OMG. He better get time in jail or I have lost all faith in the court system for CELEBS. He did the crime now he must pay the time. I do not care what color he is. He did a horrible thing and should not get away with it.
Kids have a way of making us feel guilty. SM
You could start a fund of giving your son money for doing things like helping with lawn work or cleaning or whatever. He could start a paper route, with you supplementing his income.
I'm just making suggestions. Again, don't feel badly. Agree with other poster about people using credit cards.
Please don't feel guilty! You sound like a loving fur mom!..I too
lost a cat this week, also about 18 years old. She was an outside cat who never came in but about 6 weeks ago she just walked in one day and never wanted to go back out, so I figured the end was near. I feel very guilty too, but I made her comfortable, stroked her, made sure she was comfortable. Hubby went out in the pouring rain/sleet to bury her under a cedar tree where our others are buried. When I told him how bad I felt about not being here when she died, he said she had a great life because of me and how much I cared for her. I am sure you were wonderful to her. Please don't feel so guilty! My gal, the day before she died, actually did go outside, it happended to be sunny for a bit, she laid down on the deck and enjoyed the warmth and caught the last bird of her life! For a cat, she went out on a good note!
You shouldn't feel guilty because (see message)
you can't be really sure that is what she would have wanted. When my cat died, many years ago, she went away to be by herself when she died. We had to look for her to find her. Some animals just prefer to be alone. You spent time with her before she died, and then you made her comfortable. Perhaps it was easier for her to "leave" if you weren't there with her. I am so sorry for your loss.
I'd turn him in and not blink an eye or feel guilty.
We are the ones who pay for this. Just like the handicapped spaces everywhere that have people who don't seem to have a physical disability. And don't bother giving me the same old "you can't see my disability, but I have one" story. I know, bad back, bad knees, whatever. If you can drive to Wal-Mart and push the cart maybe you could walk a couple of more feet in the parking lot. You all know who you are out there.
Another country heard from...guilty mothers
who think only material things make their little one happy, have to get affirmation and praise for every decision they make...your poor husbands!
Exactly - it's taking the time that makes me feel guilty too sm
Solution they are saying is to go to bestlife.com and sign a contract with yourself and then Oprah has a bestlife challenge with diet and exercise and other tips and an online journal, etc. In the past when I have exercised regularly, I found that I felt like I had more time, because I had more energy to get things done. So I am trying to get back to that again.
Guilty! But I only work PT and do meet personal quota. Also spend too
s
I am feeling very depressed this Christmas season. I feel guilty because I
would rather it would be over. I have no money to shop, and things in general are bad in my life. I am trying very hard to focus on what matters this time of year and what it is about. Anyone else having difficulty now?
I wish I had more neighbors like you!...sm
You obviously have a good heart and good intentions. I'm also a sort of paranoid person but not to things like that. Every year, I mail Christmas cards to our families and only get a few. DH's family doesn't ever send out cards. I always say I'm done doing cards, but then what would that prove? That is me and I won't change me. I want my kids to grow up and do the same. Don't change. And I also believe in karma!
Neighbors
Unfortunately, this seems to be the way these days. I moved into my house 10 years ago and the people around me were older and very friendly, everyone knew everyone and people helped each other. All we had to do was ask. Now, most of the people around me have moved out and new younger neighbors have moved in. Nobody speaks to anybody else except to complain about something, and I have found that they would much rather complain than do something to correct the problems. I have tried to put together a neighborhood watch based on people telling me they would be interested... only to have nobody call to confirm they would be coming after I made an appointment.
What I would do is give more to the people or organizations who you KNOW appreciate what you do for them, and just not worry about the rest. You are not a bad neighbor, we are just few and far between these days. Things are definitely not like they used to be, too much is happening and people are cautious. I would not waste a minute being depressed over this, they sure are not worrying about you! I thought the reason people decorated their houses was for it to look nice, you are just appreciating what they did and saying so. Nothing wrong that I can see.
Hope you feel better soon, and I sincerely appreciate what you do with your donations to the animal rescuers.
My neighbors do that too!! LOL (nm)
m
my neighbors are all
anal retentive fuss-buttons. I guess it could be worse, they could be a bunch of messy, dirty people. They're not very friendly though. They're all older and retired, and we're younger and still work, so I feel they don't respect us.
How are your neighbors
Well it started off to be a wonderful day. I made myself a cup of coffee, grabbed a new book I wanted to start reading, and just wanted to sit on my back porch and relax in the morning breeze and listen to the birds, but 5 minutes later it just went downhill. Problem is my neighbors have now decided to play music quite loud. It wasn't loud enough that you would call the police over, but they opened their back window and their back window is right next to my back porch (which is the only area in the house to be able to sit out at. So forget about reading and the peace and quiet. Came inside and the neighbors on the other side decided to mow their law, and then neighbors next to them are hedge trimming. So, now im on the puter looking up other places to live that are a little more in the country where neighbors are not so close (right now if I was to talk to one neighbor the other 4 neighors on all sides of me would hear the conversation. I grew up in the country where the closest neighbor was my grandparents and it took us 5 minutes to walk to their house - so I really really really miss the peace and quiet.
Wanted to know what other people think of their neighbors and if they get equally uptight when their neighbors place loud music (and its not like classical or smooth jazz or anything - it's party music, lots of bass and drums and chipmunk voices singing). Oh yes we have another neighbor who decides to mow his lawn between 8:30 and 9 pm, and the other neighbor across the street (we call him Mike the Mechanic) has opened a car repair thingy at his house (but no business signs) and he's rebuilding engines, sodering, banging and clunking with people showing up at 10 pm and later and they'll be out talking and working on cars. Drives us nuts! And on top of that school is not even out yet and there are lots of neighborhood kids that scream and play on the weekends (some are funny and a delight to watch, and some are obnoxious), so know once summer vacation hits it will be worse (we moved in last September so we don't know what the summers are like yet).
Is anyone else like us and does anyone think there is any place in America that you can get some peace and quiet from all the noise.
My neighbors
and I have talked to her quite a bit. Her husband is also out of town most of the time so she is on her own. She has home schooled 3 kids total. I believe she is down to 1 now. From what she has told me the biggest thing is to have a strict schedule, just like the children would at public school. They still have to wake up early mornings and keep school hours. They don't get to take random days off because they just don't want to do school now or something else comes up. SHe also kept an area of the home for "school" with desks for more structure and privacy. She also said when her husband is home he enforces the homework to give her a break. She has also said there are a lot of home schooling websites and organizations out there. She does field trips and everything like normal school would. Apparentnly they are easily found online. Hope that helps but sorry I can't say from experience.
Let me tell you about my old neighbors..
Sorry it's long.... We live in a nice quiet subdivision in Central Florida, lots of kids, big parks, nice people, have lived here 22 years and most of neighbors here for 15+ years...well used to be. My best friend/cousin is Deputy Police Chief of city so stops in regularly. My neighbors across the street moved in 2-1/2 years ago, drove a Cadillac Escalade, worked at Wal-Mart. Got to know them a bit. Found out they bought their house for cash because the father won a few hundred thousand in the the lottery. FOund out they did drugs and kept my distance. Hubby lost job so they got a new hobby, breeding pit bulls. Nothing like seeing a yard full of pit bulls every few months. Animal control put a stop to that as did the owner of the female pit bull dog, whose dog they stole to breed.
Last year in January traded Cadillac in for brand new mustang which someone crashed into a wall 3 weeks later, had no insurance on it and that was their downfall from there. Totaled mustang stayed in front yard up on blocks for 6 months or more before they sold it for 2000. COde enforcement came and went with them.
They like to drink A LOT and play rap music..boom boom boom until 3, 4, sometimes 5 in the morning. Wife doesnt work or does work until she quits, gets fired. Convicted of welfare fraud, found this out by searching for convicted felons/child abusers/sex predators in my neighborhood one day. The couple like to fight daily, police called constantly. They also liked to do drugs and soon a family of 2 adults 3 kids turned into tons of people hanging out daily and/or moving in. It was really nice to see another person moving in to their house walking on the sidewalk towards their house carrying their garbage bag full of clothes/stuff. Rap music started playing loudly from 10 a.m. on, cars stopping in their driveway and driving off as fast as they stopped. Cops now becoming aware of what is going and watching the drug dealers. A few busted, sent to jail but out of jail as fast as they go in.
The week before last Thanksgiving their electric was turned off because they were caught stealing it and then the water soon followed. Both companies had to put locks on it because they kept trying to turn them back on. They kept stealing our water, we think. Somehow our hoses outside would get turned on at night and we would find them on in the morning. After 2-3 weeks with no electric I called child neglect hotline as I think it is neglect, turns out it is not but the state gives them a generator that they run for 12 hours a day. Love the sound a generator makes but a lot less aggravating than rap music.End of March, one of their great new roomies was arrested for murder but we all know he didnt do it, he was framed, he's a good boy, he wouldnt do that (what every person says when arrested for a serious crime)
Then May 5, 2008, the greatest day EVER. They had to move out. It's never nice to see a house foreclosed on but for once I was so happy to see a family go along with their hanger ons. Their customers, I mean friends keep stopping when I am outside asking me where Kevin went. I tell them to try the local jail.
Your mom's neighbors should not have...sm
dogs if they can't have a fenced in yard to keep them in their yard. Nobody wants someone elses dogs coming over making messes in the thrash and trying to bite and going to the bathroom in their yard. Dog owners should be responsible but not all are.
Are we neighbors?
Mine gives away stuff too, her husband doesn't know, and now that they are retiring their credit card debt is a big problem.
Yes, guilt is my downfall. Now, I feel guilty because she has no life survival skills because I have
done everything for her...so now I blame myself about how she will survive because she has no idea what to do. I guess I didn't have anyone leading my way. I've been on my own since I was 16 years old and I made it okay. She calls me for EVERYTHING..how do I do this.. how do I do that and I know now it's time just to let her fall because she'll never learn how to pick herself up if I keep doing it. That's the hardest teacher..falling on your face. She even said that she feels different because she doesn't know anything other kids her age know how to do.. That right there should have made me STOP.. I have not done her any favors..When I thought I was helping her, I was just making it worse and enabling. I'm done with it. Thanks for listening.
Maybe that is the reason for my neighbors
still having their lights on the house, and ON.
that would be right - if neighbors esp are Russian
We had new neighbors move in who
had a similar theory about what was acceptable.
They had a habit walking into their neighbors houses without knocking. My parents were too polite to say anything, so they were clueless that they found it appalling. We didn't normally lock the doors when we were home, but to keep them out, we kids started locking them when everybody was inside, just to befuddle the barging-in neighbors. One time my dad had been working in the yard, and he was doing his usual change out of his work pants at the back door. He had privacy because he would announce he was changing, and close the door at the top of the stairs so that he had closed doors on 3 sides (door to garage, closed back door, closed door into rest of house, and open doorway into the unfinished basement. The clueless new neighborgirl decided to have a visit, came thru the open (big) garage door and opened the door into the house, where my dad stood, crouching with pants around his ankles. Oh the bellow that came out of him!
That new neighborgirl did drop by and barge in quite so often after that ...
anyone have trouble with their neighbors...????
beginning to wonder if there could be anything worse to have to put up with. I have been dealing badly with these people for almost 2 years now and am in the process of remodling to sell out and find a better spot to live. my neighbor is going down hill quick. what used to be the all american suburb, has turned into trash neighbors...sorry had to vent!!!!
No, I just said I feel sorry for your neighbors.
nm
Thanking god for my neighbors.
I got lucky when I bought my house about four years ago and am surrounded by home owners. Many of our houses are duplexes or duplexes converted into single dwellings (like mine). We had one bad group down the street on the corner (the landlord lived next door) and they were almost impossible to get out he spent gobs of money to get them out and in the mean time they trashed his property. The neighbors all kicked in to help him repair. This time he checked all the references and made sure none were bogus it took an extra month of the property being empty but he has had no problems with them and they are extending their lease and other than that home there is only one other house that rents and the owner (a sherriff) lives on one side and rents the other. My suggestion is try to move into a neighborhood that has very limited or restricts renting.
VEGETATION AND NEIGHBORS
Hi: Do you know them? If you do, have you said anything? If you haven't then assure them that you "don't mind" if they come on your land to cut back their vine. If this is not a possibility, then get some of that vegetation killer and put it on the vines on your side. I think some of them even will go back to the root, so maybe it will kill the vine on their side too. That might not be all bad for you. So, when it is all gone on your side, re-landscape your areas and dig down with one of those sprinkler shovels (the ones that cut and look like a pancake turner straightened out) and put a barrier, like chicken wire or something more solid. I think they hve plastic things for that at Home Depot. I guess it wouldn't help your lawn if the roots are all in it,, but maybe you could cut and roll it back and put in some Zoysia grass if it is legal in your area or another grass lawn. I have a trumpet vine I have been nursing along for 4 years and the weather is so bad here that it is still a tiny thing. Maybe I should pull it out?
yep, friendly with ALL my neighbors
x
Are you sure you aren't one of my neighbors?
Sure do have the same attitude. Have a good day!
Friendly with all the neighbors except
for the ones directly across the street - they are loud, obnoxious, lazy and don't know the meaning of the word neighbor and are raising their 2 kids to be the same.
Personally, I have neighbors who are sm
teachers. The rule in the high school here is that Cell Phones are to be turned off while the students are in the classroom. If it rings, it is confiscated. I totally agree with that rule. School is for learning, not text messaging, etc. However, in case of an emergency, of course, they should have the ability to dial out in an EMERGENCY situation.
How many neighbors could you borrow something from?
If you're baking a cake and run out of sugar or an egg or something similar.
I've got three.
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