We buy presents for kids in a community
Posted By: children's gift drive. nm on 2007-12-03
In Reply to: OOps - message got cut off! ... and provide Christmas. - We choose a family in need from the Mission and pr
nm
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HA! My cat loves to leave little presents
at my front door but when he had a mouse in the house and could hear it scratching, my cat hightailed it out of the room as fast as possible. Now that is the true meaning of "scardy cat". LOL!
Same here, but toss in all the unwrapped Christmas presents still
b
My father-in-law sends my daughter presents, calls her, etc. BUT
pretty much ignores my son. My son is 16 and my daughter is 8. They are both his grandchildren. He will send a gift to my son on his birthday, for Christmas, etc. same as he does with my daughter. But the presents are usually not equal in price. Then he will call and talk to my daughter and not ask to speak to my son or even ask about my son. He will send postcards when he is on vacation and address them to my daughter with my son's name squeezes in as an after thought out to the side. When he is in town visiting his mother and sister, he will bring my daughter little gifts and call and ask to see her, but usually never asks to see my son.
I don't have a very friendly relationship with my FIL as I divorced his son and the divorce was not an amicable one. However, when my son was little and I was still married, my FIL was very close with my son and treated him similarly to the way he treats my daugther now. It seems as my son has gotten older, my FIL has simply decided he doesn't count anymore. I think some of this has to do with my son being a teenager with a smart mouth who has been very vocal about the divorce, my ex, and his grandpa. My son doesn't get along with his father and he took my side in the divorce.
I really, really, REALLY want to tell my FIL off, but then he'll stop having any contact with my daughter and she's too young to understand everything that's going on. She loves him to pieces, but I'm also afraid that the same thing will happen with her as it did my son -- as she gets older and starts to figure things out and understand and become more opinionated, my FIL my just shut her out too.
It is really just a crappy thing my FIL is doing. If I confront him about he'll just feign innocence and act like he didn't realize he was treating them differently. So maybe my anger is just fruitless anyway.
I LOVE my community but having said that
you gotta know, I live in an association run neighborhood. There is none of the littering, loud noises, crappy yard keeping with beer bottles, used cars and the like in them, keep your home looking presentable and it is WONDERFUL. I called the fire dept 1 time only and that was because the next door neighbor decided he would have a cookout- now that would not have been so bad except his little woody area right behind him is the same woody area I share right next to him. In our county no outside burning of any kind and he could have lit his home up as well as mine. I did not confront, just had them come over and put his fire out. We are not allowed to let animals run loose in the community (my pets are all inside ones anyway) but it is just a blessing to live in such a place.
I think the reason the gay community has been
'flaunting' their preferences is because they feel it's time they had the same rights as heterosexuals, and there are certainly plenty of those making out on the beach, as well. For centuries the religious right has persecuted them. If you look closely, most religions are the root cause behind prejudice, persecution, and violence towards certain groups of people that are of a different mindset.
I happen to have lots of gay friends, and some are 'flaming', so to speak, and others you would never guess that they're gay. But ALL of them are extremely well educated, make tons more money than I do as an MT, pay taxes, support their communities, and in several communities in particular in my area, have taken run-down neighborhoods and turned them into the most desirable real-estate in the area. Some have kids, some have pets, some are artists/performers, others are doctors or lawyers, and they're totally nice people and loyal friends. So if they want to get into a lip-lock in public and I happen to see it, it doesn't bother me at all. Love is love.
Yes it is from a community college - thanks (nm)
x
If they are active in their community, then why
are you saying in quotations they are showing the children off? I think this speaks a lot for the way you are feeling towards them or her and it seems to me maybe she loves them and wants to let people know her grandchildren also. As a child I had to go spend time at my great aunt and uncle's house and they did not even have a television, only farm books, absolutely nothing for kids- we were not told we would do cookies. We went and said nothing- we were children but a little bit older than yours now. Why do you not send them a care gift for there, things they might enjoy doing on their own so their grandparents might also get time with them?
Try community college first sm
It was "not cool" for my kids to go to college locally, so we literally "wasted" good money on out-of-state high brow -- only to find unhappiness at missing the friends, girlfriends, etc. One ended up back in state at a good university at a much less drain on our budget and he is now a professor there. Can't tell these kids much about smart moves if they are hell bent on going away from home and driving your bank accounts to the limit. Community 2-year colleges locally are wonderful and most good universities will accept these credits, it's a great way not only to save money but to let them get their feet wet and get a lot of experience with what they are actually really talented at. Can't tell them much, but you can try, it will save you a lot of heartache and less drain on your budget for the "real stuff" such as grad school, etc., which is almost imperative today to compete. Good luck!!!
My husband does community plays....sm
when the opportunity arises and helps me with the kids choir at church. Some people are just loners, meaning they really don't want to do anything other than work and home. My stepdaughter is that way and I also wish she'd take an interest in outside things, but that's just her personality.
He is great around the house - we split the house chores and pitch in together to get whatever needs to be done, done.
The Christian community has always thought they were better than everyone else.
Religion has often been the catalyst of wars...hence the one we are in now.
My community demands that we keep our yard
free of the bugs and weeds and we were infested with grubs this past year. We have spent a lot of time trying to rid our yard because they do so much damage. The management came by while this was going on and sent letter that we try to remedy the problem. I have to use these, sorry but I do like a nice lawn.
My community does not allow yard burials but
i have like a flower place in my back, no one can see from either side and if my pet dies, would definitely bury there and then have some flowers also there. No one can see into the back of my place, wooden area between me and the others!!
Agree about stairs. Think I'd like a community where we could
s
Come to my community in Pembroke Pines.
xx
Community Yard Sale
I posted earlier on here about ideas about having yard sale. Someone said for early birds to put sign out saying everything before 8 double the price. Well, that sounds good but in reality one of the first about 7:30 this morning before all set out got indignant that I would have a sign out like that, stating she had been to sooo many sales before and did I want to sell or not? Not was basically my answer. I did this because I had never been involved in my community yard sale but it was so much effort and very little return. I even had a Hispanic ask me would I mind if he used the bathroom in my backyard- told him someone back there and besides that my neighbors would mind. My community has high end homes and besides that, there are laws against things like that. Oh well, live and learn.
I asked for community service when he took off
A month ago he took off and was wandering around and I called him in as a runaway. I asked for community service then, which they refused to give him, and I was also told that I have to pay for him to participate in community service.
The store said they don't care what the court system decides, their 100 has nothing to do with whatever punishment he gets legally.
He has been grounded so long that I can't remember him being ungrounded at this point. He has lost all the "fun" in his life.
One of my old bosses called and asked if she could pay him to make some desserts for her birthday party so he'll be using that money to pay the store some.
I also know of one religion that helps out community
they actually pay back some in taxes to communities where there is a volunteer fire department, etc., precisely because they benefit from such services.
Dailystrength.com....an online community..sm
There's a ton of different support groups,etc. It's a great place to make freinds, relieve stress, talk, etc. I'm on there a lot and it's really a great place. No one bashes you, everyone understands, you meet people in the same boat, etc. Give it a try.
You're definitely not alone. I hope things work out for you and I wish there was something I could do to help. It's so hard nowadays. I have to take antidepressants or I wouldn't get out of bed. It really sucks. What I can do, though, is be a shoulder to lean on. Sometimes the friends you can't "see" are the easiest to talk to. I know it is for me.
Does your community have a dog obedience class? -(sm)-
Not only do you get great training for yourself and your dog, but it's also FUN for you and your dog. You can meet lots of nice people (and dogs) that way, too.
When I was a teenager, my friend and I took our dogs to a class that was held in our local park every Saturday, and we had a blast.
Another option, with a different approach, is watching tapes by the 'Dog Whisperer'. My sister adopted a puppy from the pound that got VERY big, VERY fast! She adopted the Dog-Whisperer's 'be the leader of the pack' approach, which has worked very well for her dog. (It's a cross between a golden retriever and an alaskan malamute.... BIG doggie!)
Most obedience classes use a choke-chain (NOT a spike-collar!) and a 6-foot regulation leather leash as training aids. My sister used a little dog-halter that goes on the head called a 'Gentle Leader'. I was amazed at how well her dog learned to walk at her side and not pull. She has now graduated to just a regular collar, but my sister carries the Gentle Leader with her for those occasional times then her dog gets a little excited and needs a reminder.
Either way is an enjoyable, easy and most of all, humane way of leash-training a dog, and the results were excellent. I was particularly impressed by how my sister's dog turned out. Some of her dogs in the past have been pretty wild and crazy - this dog is the sweetest, most well-behaved dog I've ever met. She can take that dog ANYWHERE: The dog park, downtown on crowded sidewalks, to work (has her own business), parades, you name it.
It might be harder and take longer to get results with an older dog with already-established naughty habits, but I think that with time, patience and persistence, you can make a lot of positive changes.
Good luck! :)
Exactly, a very large *gated* community in my state
was pretty much taken over by mostly gang/drug dealer types! I guess they want to keep the cops out ; ) lol
Having community wide yard sale and
had it not been for this post I probably would not have checked my bracelets out. This was posted last week but I thought some that replied might be interested to know it was exactly like they thought, more expensive than just the average and collectable.
We also had a community yard sale this weekend.
I've done this three other times in the 23 years that I've lived here. Every time was way more hassle then it was worth. For me, the point of my yard sales has never been to make cash. Rather, I'm just trying to clear clutter. And people who come to a yard sale can be soooo rude and pushy. They'll want to haggle over something that costs 50 cents! This time, I put everything out and told my home-from-college son to run the sale. He could keep the money. It was worth it to him, but I won't ever do it again. I spent so much time getting the stuff together and getting it ready and tagged. I could have done something more enjoyable with my precious time!
Next time I want to clear clutter, I'm tossing and donating. No more selling!
...nm up there. Very sad. And we live in an older, settled community,
s
Yes he will. The Muslim community will close ranks on this man.
They will call it an "Honor-Killing." What it is, is out and out murder. But Hussan will spend but minimal time incarcerated. The Muslim's have our country cowed. CAIR, AIPAC, and all the other Muslim alphabet soup groups will close ranks to defend him against an "evil and corrupt" legal system. He will have a defense fund the likes of which most people will never see.
They will call people who want to try him for this crime islamophobes or worse. They will threaten retribution against the judge, law enforcement people, whoever is involved in this case. Self-preservation is a great motivator.
Hopefully the legal system will do what it is supposed to do...put guilty people in jail. But we will have to see how the wind blows.
IMHO, the wind blows towards Mecca and the Muslims.
I once had a psycho boss at a small community -
hospital I worked at. Our transcription dept. consisted of just 3 of us, and we sat in a far corner of the medical records dept., next to the microfilm guy. The boss ('P'), and I were the only full-time MTs; the other MT only worked half-days, and she and I shared a desk. She worked from 8-12:30, I worked from 1-9:30 pm. This boss gave me the longest, most ridiculous oral 'transcription' test I've ever taken anywhere. Oddly, no typing test. So, I was hired.
The other MT told me no matter what you do, don't do more work than P, or she'll get insanely jealous. ?? So one fateful day, I made the mistake of typing more reports than she did. She changed to several different shades of red and purple, and I never saw anyone's lips get so thin in my entire life! Her mouth became just a pencil-thin straight line. After that day, she made my life a living he11. Always picking apart my work, trying to say I'd skipped out of work early one day and missed the life-flight helicopter bringing patients to the ER. (No, I was there, and I typed their H&P's).
She also had a running feud going on with the entire MR department, and instructed me that I wasn't allowed to speak with ANY of them. I was friends with the microfilm guy, and others in MR, and so I very politely told her that although I wouldn't chit-chat with them while I was WORKING, that what I did on my breaks and my own time was my own business, and that no one tells me who I may or may not associate with.
Would you believe this b___ch would actually feign leaving work for the day (her shift ended at 5 pm), and then would sneak back anywhere from 15 minutes to 5 hours later, just to peep in the window from outside and see if I was talking to anyone? She was a real piece of work, that one.
I eventually took another job (with a service that she occasionally sent our overflow work to). The new boss didn't want me telling her where I was going (which I wouldn't have, anyway - she was a very vindictive person), so when she asked where I was going to, I made up a doctor in the city - an impossible to pronounce, Chinese-sounding name. I told her it sounded sort of like 'Chiaong', but I had no idea how it was spelled. I also told her that because of his very thick accent, he was going to pay me twice what I was making at the hospital. Boy, did she ever turn dark RED when I told her THAT!
A few days later, my other co-worker (obviously on instructions from P), was trying to squeeze the name and address of the new 'doctor' out of me, but I just told her I knew where the building was, but that I'd walked there from an underground parking lot and didn't know the address, just that it was on the 9th floor. I just KNEW P. wanted to find this doctor and try to get the job for herself (which I learned is how she got the MT job at that hospital). So, I'm sure she spent hours perusing the downtown phone book, looking for Dr. 'Chiaong'!!! I also wouldn't have put it past her to go off in search of this mythical medical building I made up.
Sometimes mean people can be fun to jerk around. ;)
Community living versus single-family dwelling
I was raised in a large single-family home, although it was on a cul-de-sac and there were no other girls my age in the neighborhhood. That was okay for me at the time because I was a tomboy (and because that was decades ago!). I didn't attend school with the kids on my street. I went to a private school where my mom was a teacher.
Now, I am raising my granddaughter in an apartment community (I was already in an apartment when she came to live with me). Because of my financial situation and the area in which I live and the schools I want her to attend, there is no possible way for me to purchase a home for the two of us. My own kids lived in a single-family neighborhood before my divorce, then lived in a mobile home (double-wide trailer...common in these parts of the woods).
I have so many conflicts about how children feel about the type of living arrangements they have, i.e., a _real house_ versus an apartment complex versus a mobile home community. Personally, I would rather rent an apartment and not be responsible for reparis, but that means a constant turnover of other kids for my GD to relate to, which is also the situation in an apartment complex. I don't want to buy a mobile home - which is what I qualify for grants, subsidies and low-interest loans in this area - so she can go to a better school. Would this cause her to be more shame in her personal relationships with other kids at school than a mobile home community??
I would rather live in a townhome or condo, but that won't happen for some years to come. Since I would be a first-time buyer, there are grants I would qualify for, just no financing because of the high cost of single-family homes and for TH/condos in the area where I want her to attend school.
Can anyone offer advice or experiences about growing up in a multi-family community such as an apartment complex...mobile homes (I know how my own kids felt about it now in hindsight)..versus a condo/townhome or single-family home? I have some time to try to put things together before she starts school, so I am trying to decide what the best course of action for her sake. If I decide to move, it will be to plant roots for the two of us for a long time, so I want to try to make the best decision possible.
Thanks for any input!
Doesn't sound like my idea of a great community when your neighbor hears you whisper
I'm with you. Love the country. Most of those homeowner's associations (at least here in Texas) are power mongers.
It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
*
Nope, no kids with him, all of our kids are 20 and over.
I would think that some of the $12,000 A YEAR he paid in support for over 9 years should have been enough to save some for college. He paid his dues so to speak, always paid the support on time, had insurance for them, etc. He told them straight up to pay for their own college. Is there something wrong with that?
ESL kids have a label =$$$. When the illiterate kids get a label slapped on them - they will get a
Most public schools do not teach children to read with intensive phonics. It has nothing to do with class size IMHO. The method of reading instruction is what determines if the kids will learn to read or not.
Consider homeschooling her.
Each child represents a $ amount to public school administration. As long as the child attends they get their $. They still get X amount of $ for each year they teach or do not teach a kid to read.
Their compensation is not reduced when they produce illiterate adults.
I believe my kids would still believe . .
had I not got totally busted by my 10-year-old son. My 7-year-old still believes. I always asked as my kids if they believe and when they said yes, I said that that is all that is important. My son caught me playing the EB last Easter. He said to me yesterday, "Come on, a giant bunny hopping around the country bringing easter baskets? How long did you expect me to fall for that?" I about split a gut laughing!!! However, both older children know how important it is to let the 7YO believe, we all watched Polar Express last night and they still were mesmerized!!!
I think a LOT of men are like that with kids
Maybe because since such a high % of marriages end in divorce, some of them keep a distance there. After all, when divorces happen, who gets the kids? Also, women tend to take charge when it comes to the kids and men tend to allow it. I truly believe that kids do not always strengthen a marriage but often the opposite. I have seen statistics stating that more couples with children get divorced than those who don't have any. Interesting, huh? JMO
That's why I won't have kids.
I have totally turned off the need/want to have kids, because I know my husband could never handle it. I don't want to be a single parent...especially a married single parent, know what I mean? It's an incredible commitment and they don't stay portable and nonverbal for long.
What do your kids
What do your kids call you and your spouse? Would you mind if they changed it, as in Mom instead of Mommy, as they got older? My kids call me Mom. If they call me Ma......I correct them, I don't LIKE it!! My son's GF calls me Mommy or Mom, I don't mind. My DIL calls me by my first name, I don't mind that either. I have a stepson, he also calls me Mom.
I do but only to keep an eye on my kids. NM
x
Hello......if you want your kids to know...
about STDs and how not to get pregnant, YOU teach them. Why should there have to be programs about that at all? If you want them to have condoms, you buy them, don't ask the school nurse to hand them out. As to the genius of a President...at least he is trying. The one before him was hardly an advertisement for wise choices where sex is concerned ala black dress and use of cigars in a way that NO one ever intended...and committed felony perjury while a sitting President. Oh, but, heck....who cares, right?? Geeeezzz. Gimme a break.
Hello, yourself. If I had kids, I would...sm
Teach them those things. And if you're questioning why there s/b sex ed programs in school at all, why do you seem to be defending the current abstinence-only ones? They're worse than nothing at all because they give inadequate and downright *false* information. How is not having all the facts (or having the wrong "facts") ever a good thing? Just doesn't make any sense to me. If you want Bush to get credit because "at least he's trying" well, that seems like a pretty low standard for the president of our country.
Now as far as Clinton, I never said I was a fan. You're assuming an awful lot there. I don't even want to get into that.
I was one of four kids (sm)
and I was always wishing that my twin sister and I could have parents of our own. Living with mean older siblings was no fun!
Once again, your kids are still not that old
but when my son married, completely absorbed into not only his wifes life (which I am the first to say she comes first) but also her family and I basically just lost a son. Just swallowed up by her side and you would not know he really had a mother anymore. Quit trying on that end some time ago.
Especially with little kids
nm
Buy them, but keep away from little kids, sm
When my daughter was 2 or 3, she got her hands on one of the poppies in the back seat and must have pulled it apart and put the plastic middle up her nose. We didn't know in the beginning what was there, but after a visit to her pediatrician who couldn't get at it, a trip to the emergency room, a 5 hour wait for an ENT guy with the correct equipment to retrieve it, we discovered it was the middle of the poppy. Since then, whenever I see them selling the poppies, I tell them to warn parents with little kids to keep the poppies away from the kids.
I don't even have kids, and I
think that's coooooolllld.
It's really not nice to try to be scientific or philosophical with somebody who is going through a loss and expresses sorrow.
Did Jesus tell Lazarus' family, "Hey, dont worry about it; we'll all see him in heaven soon!" No, he took pity on them in their sorrow. That's how He is. Let's try to mirror Him, not philosophists and scientists when it comes to people who are hurting.
Probably more the kids
Love my marriage and don’t mind the divorces until I got it right. The kids are ok as long as infant, toddlers and then they grow up. Not my cup of tea anymore.
Kids going out
I have no problem with it, but there's always upwards of 10 children and at least 3 adults to supervise out all the time, but I would never let my youngest go out alone under any circumstances. We have a very quiet neighborhood, but you never know.
Some men have kids, but then
continue to spend as if they are still single. I can't believe how often I see this. They complain when the wife buys clothes, but when he buys something it has an engine and it's a big, dangerous toy!
That's why I can see why some women might want to hide money. Of course not all men are like that.
I used to buy my kids
those paint-by-numbers kits. Kept them occupied for a short time. Also go to a dollar store and load up on some new toys and books without spending a fortune.
She has kids as well
That was the deal - we were taking both of our kids to do something fun together.
kids
My DD (17 YO) has been getting her self up for years on her own. My mom bought her an alarm clock and she started using that to get up on her own. Now my DS on the other hand, is 20 and I still have to wake him up for work...go figure. I think girls are just more responsible that way.
kids...
I've had both of mine doing their own laundry for about 3-4 years now, since my DD was about 12 and DS about 15, maybe younger. My DD could take care of her own place right now (16 YO), but my DS (20 YO) is another story...maybe it doesn't have anything to do with gender after all...
kids...
Oooh, me too! They do their own bathroom, laundry, and bedrooms. I have my own to worry about. It hasn't killed them yet!
No kids, nothing
could make me stay around to be miserable. I feel most of the times I read these posts the women really do not want to live and use children as their reason for staying. I do not think I could ever say I have been miserable, that is really bad. Only you would be able to change your life and only if you want to. Good luck.
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