Wanted to let you know what happened to relatives
Posted By: Ruthie on 2009-02-17
In Reply to: Use a dictionary - single=not married sm - HappyFlaMT
I went with my two sisters on two separate occasions to fill out forms at social security. One sister was applying for social security benefits and when asked about her marital status she told them single. The women then said, have you ever been married? The next thing my sister had to do was to give the names of all previous marriages and the dates they were married and then the woman said she was listed as divorce. Another sister, who only lived with this man for 22 years after his death went to see if she would be able to get any kind of help from them. You should see the form she had to fill out. It was called a marital relationship something or other and it went on for miles. We were told they ask about previous marriages and the like to see if people might be getting money from other places. With the married sister according to the years she might have been married to either 1 determined whether she got social security on that marriage. According to SS if married, gosh don't want to mess this up, but seems like over 20 something years then you would perhaps be able to draw from that marriage even if you are divorced from them so when applying for things like that if married previously you are not considered single.
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He was 86. I have many relatives
in their late 90s & a couple over 100. When your parents reach their 80s, you won't be saying things like that because you'll hope they have many years left beyond 86.
RELATIVES FROM OTHER COUNTRIES
My husband is a first generation American. His folks came here legally, worked their buns off, and did it the right way. My father-in-law became a citizen as did his sister. My husband's sister married a man whose entire family came here LEGALLY from Beirut during that awful war where they lost everything, their businesses, their homes, couldn't even leave their hiding places to buy grocersies because they were shot at, so they went without food for quite some time. They were singled out there because they allowed the females in their family to go to college. Can you imagine? They came here with what they could salvage LEGALLY, then got jobs and saved their money until they could start their own businesses. All of these humble people respected our laws and now are part of us. They are all Americans now except my mother-in-law who passed away still with her green card, but she always showed up and did what she needed to do legally to stay in this country and she loved it. None of them worked for anyone illegally or under the table. I say send all the illegals back. All of them. She is right, we don't have enough natural resources or cash to take care of all these people who do not respect us anyway and take and take and give nothing to to contribute to our society except more illegal things in order to earn a buck. Like sell drugs, drive drunk, pretend to be Jose Somebody at the ER so they won't have to pay the bill that we all cover. Enough.
I'm sure some of your relatives are feeling sm
the same horrible crunch. Feel them out gently. Together you can approach the insensitive members of your family.
Instead of saying you "won't be buying any gifts," say you "can't" instead. It's the sign of the times, and not a reflection on you.
You can have a very merry and wonderful Christmas without gifts. It's love that makes Christmas Christmas!
Merry Christmas to you and all the other posters and readers!
People can get pregnant on an IUD. I have two relatives who did.
You have to wonder why she hasn't had her tubes tied, and why he hasn't had a vasectomy and gotten a full-time job since he's perfectly able-bodied. At least if they're living off the dole, one or both should be going to college on grants to eventually be able to support four kids.
Who are you buying for, your kids or relatives? If you
know someone is going to return whatever then go with a gift card and let them get whatever they want themselves. But, whatever you give them they can do with what they wish. You have no control over that.
awkward conversations with relatives
Sometimes there is not much more to say when it comes to the cookies. Sounds like she had just enjoyed the conversation and wanted to keep it going... maybe she liked hearing from you guys.
My husband wanted me to pick out what I wanted....sm
I narrowed it down to 2 choices and let him make the final decision on which style/carat size to get.
I have had this happen with relatives and friends alike - sm
I am actually surprised now when someone actually calls or writes to say they received something I sent and *thank you* for sending it. How sad is that? I was also told to send a thank-you note or call the sender the very day you receive their gift, no matter if you like it or not. After all, they cared enough to send SOMEthing. Guess we are a dying breed???
Charmed...I have similar relatives. Here is something to remember
MISERABLE PEOPLE LOVE TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE MISERABLE.
That is why the saying "misery loves company."
I know they are your family. However, if they treat you that badly, dump them and move on. I went through this years ago. I have family like this. They never had anything to do with me unless they needed something from me or they wanted to belittle me.
One can find friends who are more like family and treat you with respect. Make sure you have caller ID and DON'T ANSWER WHEN THEY CALL. That is the first step. LEARN TO SAY NO. It will not kill you, I promise. When you empower yourself, you learn to like you for yourself and it no longer matters what these people think of you. When it no longer matters what they think, they will see it and pick on someone else. 
Actually, relatives in suburban PA don't lock either and I feel safe there, roo. sm
But i would not feel safe in my own home unlocked, even though I'm in a gated community with tons of outside lights, etc. For some reason I feel safe in someone else's house more than my own.
Anyone who has relatives in assisted living, high rise places, anything?
I have a dear aunt that went to live with her son and his fairly new wife of about 2 years. My aunt really needs the assistance of someone but this is not working out. She is 86, called me tonight, wants to go back home and I told her I would try to assist her. She is my second mother since mine died several years ago. I have heard that high rises go by how much income a person has. I do not think assisted living is a possibility as might be too much money involved for her, she does not get that much from social security. She has both Medicaid and Medicare and I wondered about inhome help also. Anyone out there who has a situation like this that can give me any information I would appreciate it. TIA
I have relatives in fairly rural Maine who never lock, and I feel totally safe there. nm
x
No, it was me. I wanted to eat more and did so
I pushed and pushed until I was able to pretty well eat normal again.
This was my failure.
Thanks - I just wanted to be sure! (sm)
I suggested it and then kind of got worried about it! We use it too
My son never wanted one, but DD
got hers actually at WalMart. It was around $100 and very pretty with her birth stone and she wears it every day. Might not after she graduates, but that's up to her. Younger DS probably won't want one either, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
I did get the brochures from the jewelry stores at the mall, but they were unbelievably expensive.
Thanks, that was exactly what he wanted!
x
Is that all you wanted?
Just have someone agree with you? You said you will never post anything about yourself again. Well, you still did. I have a 17yr old and he will always have a key to my house unless he gives me reason to think otherwise. I still (at age 40) have a key to my parents house (why wouldn't I) what is the big secret? Really tired of this thread. Don't want to offend anyone but this seems to have really gotten out of hand. Just give him the key or don't!
You wanted to ask, but you did not?
For crying out loud, you should be MUCH more ready to forgive him his abusive language and "disrespect" if he was on drugs. Good grief. It sounds like you expect everybody to be perfect except you.
If he is clean now, he would probably be ashamed of how he acted. How many years have you let this rift go on, anyway?
That is exactly what my BF said, he wanted to know
x
Just wanted to add one more (sm)
thing. If your daughter does leave home, you MUST report her as a runaway to protect yourself.
You didn't mention, but are there other children in the home? If so, this is definitely something to take into consideration. If they are and they are being exposed to the constant "turmoil" this can be perceived in the eyes of social services as a form of "abuse" so you'd need to tread carefully.
Right now, take the emotional part out of it, take back control and know that a couple of years from now you will (hopefully) look back at this time and you and your daughter will have a few laughs. I remember when we hit that point and I just smiled silently thinking "I remember someone told ME back then I'd make it through this." You CAN handle this!
I always wanted to use one of these
when I have my own place, check it out.
http://www.purrfectfence.com/
I just wanted to thank you!
To the person who posted to informed us of the free photo books at snapfish.com sponsored by Oprah, I just wanted to thank you! I ordered one and my mom ordered one for herself too! They turned out great. I did a wedding photo book as I got married a year ago and still hadn't done a wedding album yet. It turned out amazing!!!
Did anybody else take advantage of this amazing offer?
You have done what you wanted to do - sm
so I would leave it at that. It is never to late to say you are sorry about something. I did the same thing, broke up with this guy badly, he was so in love with me and I always felt guilty about it, especially since he stayed single and did not date for about 12 years. He knew I felt bad about it though as my BF told him years after our breakup that I have always felt guilty/bad about how I handled things. But I was a stupid 16-y/o so what do you expect. Sometimes have regreted it as he is now a successful architect, but then again something just did not click, hence the breakup. He finally met someone and is married now about 8 years. We exchange Christmas cards but that is it. I never formally apologized to him but I know he knows how I feel/felt.
No, he wanted them because he - sm
was/is tired of the withdrawal method to be blunt about it. As I said he's only used 2 in maybe six months though (with me). Believe me I questioned him about it....and am being aware. I check all the email as he hates dealing with it, and the bills, he has no secret accounts, etc. He is pretty much an open book. His phone is a company phone and they would fire him if he used the phone for anything other than work or calling me, same with the company car. He is a real germaphobe as well, my kids call him Mr. Monk as a joke, he is not that bad, but sometimes it is, and I don't think would put me in the position of possibly getting a STD. He is also one of those men who would confess if he cheated as the guilt would eat him up. His honesty and fairness can be a pain sometimes, he won't even haggle when it is possible to like buying our house, and some property we have, did not even try to get it cheaper, same with our cars. I have to tell him to be quiet and let me handle the negotiating when I can. He has always been straight with me. Supposedly he cheated the 2-3 x because his wife used sex as a weapon/reward, and just was one of those women who really did not enjoy it....whether this is true of course I will never know. But I am not blindly stupid about his past, but do have faith in him that he won't do it again as we do have a good marriage, two great kids, and a good life together (and still a great sex life after 14 years). He has seen friends divorce and knows what it is like and does not ever want to go through it again, and he knows I am serious about making his life a living *ell if he ever did that to me. ---But the OP up there as I said before just needs to keep her eyes peeled. I would not let the letter wreck my marriage but I certainly would not blindly think, no my husband would never do that, foolish to think that way but it is a fine line to walk and you need to protect yourself but not let it wreck the marriage in case it is just a nut job out to cause trouble, like kids mailing them out to one house on each street in their neighborhood, who knows.
thanks!! Just wanted to be sure sm
So many recipes look so good, but I just don't have the time. I've been wanting them lately too. Kids coming home from college this weekend, so I wanted to make something special for them... but I have to work for a while until they get here... so I could't get too involved.
Thanks again!
Well, if I'd known what he REALLY wanted
Snip, snip! 
Just wanted to say thanks
I had some nice responses when I posted last week about having a really nasty UTI and being in excruciating pain. I had a fever despite analgesics, pelvic pain and generalized agony. They did a KUB and 2 CAT scans, with and without contrast. I got the results yesterday. I have at least one kidney stone. They think I may have passed more. I will NEVER go back to that NP again. My PCP has a NP, PA and himself. The PA is fantastic and my doc is wonderful. I can't believe they made me wait all weekend for the results when I had a stone, and let me suffer in pain. A few Vicodin may have helped. Also, the NP had told me I'd be feeling better in a day. I got progressively worse over 3 days. Now, I am finally starting to feel back to normal but there is still a 2 mm (small) stone lodged in my kidney. I just wonder if it is going to cause problems if and when it goes on the move. I was afraid to go to the ER for 2 reasons: 1. I didn't want them to think I was there for a wimpy reason. 2. They have so many people who go in there seeking narcotics, even though I never have, I was afraid they'd treat me like I was one of those.
Again, thanks to all that cared!
I have always wanted more than just
to sit around and do nothing. I just wanted more in my life than to stay stoned or be an alky. My best mind is not the best so if I fool around with other substances I am in a world of trouble. I have always wanted to work and be able to buy what I wanted, take vacations where I wanted and I hate, hate, hate to count money to find out if I have enough to buy a candy bar. If I had to work more than one job to have what I need, then that is what I do. I want to keep on working until I just go kerplunk out of my chair with my fingers on the keyboard. I just hope that is no time soon. I probably love making money more than I love spending it although spending runs a close second.
When it happened before
about 5 years ago it was about 3 months after the birth of my first child. I have an 18 month old and she was born via C section. I had a pap smear about a month after my 18 month old was born and it was okay. Just the one in April has come back abnormal.
Oh boy! I'm really sorry that happened. SM
I don't blame you or your son for not inviting him to wedding. But perhaps, just perhaps, you should have. I have a feeling ex-hubby probably realized he made a huge mistake long ago and is sorry for it. He is probably now taking that anger out on you. If he continues, (gulp), try talking calmly to him and tell him you understand how he feels. If he has shown any atonement, see if your son would meet with him, briefly.
It takes a lot to show forgiveness. Be the better person.
That happened to me too.
I gave a HS gal money for her grad, never heard a thanks. Then I gave her $ when her baby was born a few weeks later. I thought well she doesn't write thank you notes apparently, but the next time I saw her at a picnic, she didn't even say thanks. I still think thanks are necessary when someone gives you a gift.
What ever happened with that?
NM
Happened to my mom . . .
she was a little devastated at the news when she read about pulmonary fibrosis, but turns out she didn't have it at all.
This happened to me before, too, SM
This happened to me once. I was taking a walk this time of year (late October) when a TON of blackbirds flew up. They landed on all the trees, telephone poles, etc. all around me. It was really creepy.
Even though you're having a warm day, they probably are getting ready to fly south.
Hey! Maybe something happened
to my husband when he went through Roswell, NM on a trip for work!! He didn't see any UFOs or aliens but plenty of ads. He sure has selective memory on many occasions! 
That happened to me
I had the same thing happen to me a few days after my surgery. Woke up to find blood on my sheets and then stood up and it just burst. I had a seroma in the area of the incision that had collected with blood and turned out to have an infection. I was on antibiotics for almost 4 months. It was very slow to heal, but this also happened to my nephew, and in speaking with the doctor this sometimes happens. It either drains spontaneously, as mine did, or they have to take the patient back to surgery to drain it and pack it, and they also have to be on antibiotics for an indefinite period of time. I am now one year out from the surgery and you can seen on the MRI where this occurred, and the bone graft is not healing as well in that area than it did in the other areas, but I am fine now. You SIL will be fine with time too, just have to closely watch this for evidence of an infection. As I said, it took me 4 months before it totally healed.
Happened to me sm
It has been many, many years since I was in elementary school and I still remember the mean things the teachers did and said to me. I really feel for you. Good luck!
what happened
I don't know why info was left out of OP. Many things don't make sense the way it printed. Anyway, I hope you get the basics.
This is exactly what happened with me
I did it for about 6 months or so. It was very time consuming scanning everything in, punching in the prices and quantities sometimes if it didn't have it in the system. It just wasn't worth it, and then I had the same software problems. Same answer.. keep trying. Same threatening letter. I also finally sent it back with great relief.
What happened with this...
I just slept more than 12 hours! What's up with that? My little boy was home sick yesterday and I took my afternoon nap when hubby came home and I just got up now! (3 a.m.). What's the deal? Anybody else ever do that? Missed 2 hours of my afternoon shift, though I can make the 2 hours up. Still, really that is kind of ridiculous... anybody else ever have this happen? When I woke up I did not know if it was day or night LOL.
Happened to me too
You know, I now do not have to wear any glasses to read at all or to type at the computer! I am in my 40s as well and I wondered why I had headaches while transcribing. I took my glasses off and I felt much better. Only time I wear my glasses is when I drive or if I need to see really far. Isn't that great! Finally something good about getting to be "mature." LOL. PS: Still can't find my glasses every morning though. My husband or son usually find them for me. Sad, but true.
I am so, so sorry that this happened to you. I really am. sm
I have a very best friend who says kind things about my husband and I don't know what I'd do if she were do to that to me or if my husband were to do that with me. Was that the demise of your marriage? Did you stay? Leave? Did she apologize??
OMG That happened to me too before! sm
I was feeling really bad, depressed, tired, defeated, you name it.
I normally don't even open/eat fortune cookies, but my daughter was trying to make me feel better, so she insisted that I open/read one. 'It will be a good fortune. It will make you feel better. Come on, please open one..' So I did and it was EMPTY!!!
We both laughed hysterically but it was still kind of depressing.... I said, 'See? I HAVE no fortune!!'
Guess you can look at it both ways, no fortune or everything you need ;-)
I know someone that happened to
She needed a liver transplant, got the liver and ended up with liver cancer from her new liver. We were all so happy that she got the transplant, but it ended sadly anyway.
Same happened to me....go get a
professional bra fitting. I did mine at Macy's (Nordstrom has someone too) and ended up buying 5 bras (Wacoal brand...spendy but worth it). The fitting wound up revealing not 36D but 34DD and even 32DD in some brands. I am so much more comfortable and no more wasted money on bras that sit in the lingerie drawer.
Yes, happened to me just now...
something trying to install, my Spy Sweeper blocked it, called it malware.
but it happened
Went to a psychologist with a problem - I am psychic and have struggled with this for most of my life. Well, after telling the psychologist this, she asked for a psychic reading - wanting to know about her upcoming marriage, whether she would be able to get pregnant right away (she is 41), if there were any impending problems going to happen, and on and on. I obliged at first (that's what I am used to doing) then I realized that she was going to want to be paid. I then told her that the session was over and that I wasn't going to pay for her services and that I wouldn't charge her for mine. Then about a month later, I got a bill. I promptly sent the bill back with my explanation that she had not serviced my needs, but had taken advantage of me as a patient - and that once again I would not be paying her $125 for 45 minute fee. She actually called the day she received the copy of her bill, a copy of my bill to her, and apologized for stepping out of line. I do have to applaud her for knowing that she was wrong, but could not refer anyone that I know to her in the future. At least she was honest. Anyone know where I can find a good therapist?
This is what happened to me
Times have really changed since I was in school but I remember this incident very well and what happened in this case. A classmate of mine had taken my homework on the way to school (can't remember why). I told my mom that she took my homework and I can remember my mom talking to the girls parents (we walked over to their house - she lived on the same street). My mom talked to her mom and told her what I had said. Her mother looked at her and asked her what happened. The girl looked at her mom and said "I didn't take her homework, I don't know what she's talking about". The mother turned back to my mom and said she didn't take it and my mom and I left. Luckly my mom believed me. I hope it works out for you. That's a lot of money and only right the girl should give it back, but in my experience parents always side with their kids whether they are right or wrong.
This also happened to my son
The friend "loaned" it to another friend, who broke it,evidently, before giving it back to the original friend. Same thing, a video game. Every time he approached the friend for awhile he got a vague excuse, and then he finally 'fessed up. Bottom line, chalk it up to experience and never loan out your stuff. He was in, I think 9th or 10th grade at the time. Nothing teaches quite like experience!
What happened to you....
that made you such a mean and nasty person? Really, what's your story? We would probably all like to hear how it is that you were elevated to your high horse. I'm sure that all of your relationships are above reproach and you get along with everyone perfectly, as evidenced by your interactions with this poster, who was merely venting her frustrations. Get a life!
Does anyone know what happened to the
wonderful guy on America's Got Talent who sang opera for his first audition and then last week sang There's A Place For Us? They brought back the acts from last week and announced who was going on to the next round, but he was not there this week and they did not mention him. I wonder if he dropped out? He was just wonderful.
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