Vote please on clothes buying scenario for kids...sm
Posted By: Inquiring mom on 2007-08-25
In Reply to:
Scenario: 15-year-old finished growing 2 years ago, stable sizes. 8-year-old growing like a weed, can't wear anything from last winter.
It's getting cool now in my state and I need to get the 8-year-old some long sleeved shirts for school. The 15-year-old thinks they should also get the same amount of money to spend on clothes - even though they have plenty to wear in their closet and state they have nothing in particular they want and make money doing neighborhood chores as well as chores around the house. Also before school began both kids were given $100 to buy their school supplies and clothes. The 8-year-old spent the clothing portion on pants and new sneakers, the teenager spent it on various clothing items.
Would you:
1. Do it even though they don't need it because it wouldn't be fair to spend more money on one child than another.
2. Tell them that you're only getting the younger child clothes because they have no long sleeved shirts that fit, whereas the teenager does, and that they are welcome to spend their own money on extra clothes they want.
Which way do you vote?
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I was not out buying designer clothes or stuff for myself - sm
in my case it was "we", mainly him, spent way more than we make. Everytime one of his cards got a large balance (he never looked at the statements and I pay the bills) I would tranfer it over to one of my cards, which again he never looked at, and I had a P.O. Box for--so in my case it was very, very easy to do, and with paperless statements today even easier. We had a lot of things happen in our life over the past 4 years which made the money/credit card issue much worse, easily added $40K onto it (at $89K now)--family death, serious child illness--still dealing with that some--, job loss on my part, private school tuition ($12K a year---no longer go there for the last 2 years), inability to pay bills and heavily borrowed on cards----d-u-m-b I know. So don't be so quick to judge, it is not always so black and white. Yes I did get a few things I should not have, but I know during some of this time I was depressed though not horribly so but enough so as to buy a few things I never should have, but for 95% of it it was my DH never denying himself anything (though he would have if he'd known, and now he is --granted not too happy about it---one tiny concession he has made is only 9 beers a day, down from 12, so maybe he can get 3 days out of a case of beer instead of 2.) So my days of robbing Peter to pay Paul are over. We plan to have an open book when it comes to finances once his are paid off, and mine are enrolled with a debt management plan--- then only use his cards for gas, and work stuff basically--I won't have any as they will all get destroyed and cancelled in the DMP, and will use my debit card for everything --which I do now anyway, so it won't be a huge change for me. I don't think she is lamenting, just realizing what a horrid mess she has to deal with, it is hard, and I have to deal with my DHs comments for years to come, he did a few zingers last night. I will be okay though and have to pay the piper, it is worth it not having to go through a nasty divorce and custody fight as I know it would not have been pretty.
Who are you buying for, your kids or relatives? If you
know someone is going to return whatever then go with a gift card and let them get whatever they want themselves. But, whatever you give them they can do with what they wish. You have no control over that.
My kids mostly got clothes, which they really needed sm
My son't (17) fav gift was a 20.00 indoor remote control helicopter. He has had so much fun with it. When my daughter (14) was shopping for a cousin she saw a Doodle Bear and went on and on about how much she loved hers when she was younger. DH got her one (I didn't even know about it) and that was was her fav. gift.
What do you think of this scenario?
Okay, I just had to have a safe place to share this. Can I tell you a story? Forty-one years ago, when I was thirteen, I got my first kiss. I lived on an American base in Germany at the time. He was a sophomore and I was an 8th grader. I had asked him to the Sadie Hawkins Day dance the next Friday. He really seemed to like me. Then on Friday, at the door to the dance he suddenly decided to go stag. I was absolutely devastated, but for some reason didn't think of him as a Jerk. I figured it was something I'd done. I moved away less than a year later.
Fast forward - It's forty-one years later. I'm married, content, two kids in high school. I get a message on Classmates.com that he's trying to locate me. I email him, say hi - my husband flakes out. I promise I won't anymore. My curosity gets the best of me and I set up a secret email account and email him. He lives 900 miles away but on the same coast, but the connection is immediate and strong and irresistable. We've agreed not to meet yet, that I should not mess up my marriage. There's no kinky stuff going on. But we're falling in love. So now I'm leading a double life. Half of it is by email, half of it is reality here at home. I've never been happier or more conflicted.
Feedback, anyone?
What do you think of this scenario?
I agree totally. You will regret this decision. Think about your family - YOUR CHILDREN. Surely you don't want to turn their lives upside down.
This scenario...
Looks like you've got lots of good advice. I agree that you need to think of how it would make you feel if you're husband were doing this. You wouldn't feel good. It wouldn't make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Do unto others as you'd have done unto you. You shouldn't have this kind of secret between you and your husband. You need to remember what drew you to him in the first place. Remember the man you fell in love with and who has been there by your side for all these years. He deserves better than this.
I don't mean to sound condescending either. I'm just hoping to help you steer clear of this because you are married, and you have a committment to your husband to be true. This isn't being true.
JMO
Unfortunately, your scenario is not
When asked if her insurance already paid the claim and what she would do with the money, she would not answer. She simply replied that putting the $800 in her pocket was not insurance fraud and that the dog owner should not benefit from something that she's paying into. She also stated that it would be cheaper to pay her the $800 than it would be to have to go through homeowner's insurance.
I'm not saying that the dog owner doesn't have any responsibility in this. Unfortunately, I think the poster is trying to take advantage of the situation. She's now talking about setting up a college fund with the money she's going to get.
Need your opinions. Here is the scenario....this is true and it sm
happened today.
If you lied to your spouse about something not that big, but you knew that they would flip out if you told them the truth, would you continue on with the lie? I know, you would think this is a no-brainer, but it really isn't.
My husband will probably succum to the effects of his high BP because he gets so worked up over really dumb stuff. It's really annoying. The kids spill water on the carpet and he rants and raves and goes running for towels telling them how irresponsible they are. I am not exaggerating. It's gotten to the point where I just don't even tell him things anymore - even little things because it's slowly killing him by stressing him out. He doesn't even know what it's like to have a peaceful, calm mind.
Anyways, he cornered me tonight about something and I flat out lied. It is not really my nature to do so, it just came out! The horrible thing about this: My 5 year old looked at me like, "Mom, that's not true." My heart broke in two! I can't believe I lied in front of him and to my husband. I know I must take responsibility for my actions, but why does he have to act so da** ignorant over little things? It's almost like he leaves me no choice.
I could literally just walk out today and not look back and probably not regret much. He makes my skin crawl a lot of the times with his over reacting ways. I would hate to think that I am the one contributing to his awful ways......He did scream in my face and tell me I was the most irresponsible person he's ever met...ahh, the joys of marriage. 
Unless you are buying it yourself, yah, there is.
Maybe he has an heirloom ring that has been in his family for generations. Maybe he just really wants to get something you that is a personal expression of his and his alone. If he's buying it, don't look a gift horse in the mouth! It's not about the ring, it's about the marriage...and marriage is gonna be all about compromise. Congratulations on the engagement!
PS--I had to buy our rings and he got to choose what he wanted and so did I.
buying a used car
What's the general rule of thumb as far as negotiating price? How much should I expect the dealer to come down in price on a used car? I stink at this stuff
Yep, been buying here! sm
Never stopped buying. Great time to buy in if you can. Money to be made in the long run. 
Cat in clothes
I would love to see a photo of that! I love kitties. I have a big fat fluffy one of my own, but she is not one to be dressed up.
clothes - fun
I know how you feel! I start inhouse training for 3 months in a week and have one (1) acceptible outfit to wear! Having been MTing at home for so many years I am down to grungies and caftans...so I'm joining you in a shopping splurge, only I do not have a gift card :(
Best wishes for having a great time in the higher-learning institution. You're going to be sooo smart!
Aw, I really like to try clothes on.
I hate to return stuff.
I can never get clothes to fit, either.
I buy petite for my 5' 3" frame, but both the arm and leg lengths are still too long. I have to roll the elastic waist over 1 or 2 times or else the waist band is touching my bra. 
As for the arm length, it does come in handy when it's cold out. Just pull the sleeves over my hands. No need for gloves. LOL
My father was 6 feet tall but my mom was only 5 feet tall and weighed a whopping 96 pounds. She would wear petite small and still had to hem her slacks. I always wanted to be 5 feet 7 inches when in high school, but my wish wasn't granted.
My 14 yo wants clothes but..
I don't dare pick them out myself because she would hate them. She goes shopping (with her older sister) at the mall and puts clothes on hold and several different stores. I go later in the day,with her list of stores, and pick out what I like best, wrap them and put them under the tree. She gets what she really wants, but doesn't know exactly what she is getting. Works well for us.
Maybe she was buying food for someone?
If your car is above a certain value, you don't qualify for food stamps.
She may have buying food for someone with their food stamps/food stamp card.
You have to be buying the cheaper
brand because at the QT close to my house, about the cheapest, in Atlanta, the price is $2.40 something for the brand I have to burn.
buying house with BF
Bear with me. I am not judging here as I do not know the circumstances other than you stated you and BF want to buy a house. I am assuming you are young, which to me, anyone under the age of 40 falls into that category! If and when buying a house comes to be, consider hiring an attorney to protect your interest, and your BF should do the same. Buying a home with a BF/GF is VERY scary. Will both names be on the mortgage? If so, what if one dies, becomes disabled, flees to Tibet to do lunch with the Dali Lama? The other is left holding the bag with all the financial responsibilities. The same things can happen if you're married too, but it's harder to legally resolve such issues if you are not married.
I don't mean to rain on your parade here! Just want you to think. Buying a house is so exciting but it's the biggest financial commitment you will ever make. You don't want it to come back and bite you in the butt years down the road.
To save, keep only one credit card and pay it off each month. That saying 'pay yourself first' is tried and true. Open an account and have 5-10% of every paycheck auto-deposited in it. If you don't have it, you won't miss it. Open short-term CDs with your savings. They are risk-free, you can access your money if you truly need it, and you'll get more interest than a savings acct. Do your research, stay away from adjustable rate mortgages,and buy beneath your means. Think of every worst case scenario you can and talk them over with your BF BEFORE you buy. This is your financial future you are about to change. You will be committed to a house/mortgage, but not to each other - legally.
OK - my doom and gloom post is done! Regardless, all the best to you!
buying a house
Wow, this is great info as I am buying a house too. I am wondering about one point though - my realtor did recommend an inspector that I set up an appointment with - is it absolutely necessary to find my own inspector?
buying home
Thanks AnnieM! You gave some great advice and some things to think about that I hadn't thought of.
I would tell her that I was offended and was buying elsewhere (sm)
I have learned over the years to stop wishing in hindsight that I had said what I should say to begin with. She is being rude and thinking you will pay her asking price just to prove to her that you can afford it. She is banking on you being offended and trying to prove to her that you can indeed afford it. That is a sales tactic I have seen used before - don't bite the bait!
I'm with you. I can't believe they are buying her story. nm
d
Don't think people are buying it!
I have an ex-brother-in-law who is a compulsive liar and whereas we don't call him on the lies, they are a joke to us and we laugh about it later. So to the liars out there, don't think we're that gullible!
Need to know about cheese buying
I do not buy cheese but have 2 people on my list for presents this year that I would love to get some crackers and cheeses for. Do most cheese need refrigeration? I would think some would last longer than others, right? I can make this a 1 stop shop at Trader's Joe so need some ideas, anyone?
renting vs buying
Hi,
After I divorced some years ago, having had my own home at that time, and then having to live in an apartment, I recently opted to purchase my own home. You must weigh the pros and cons of your situation, particularly having children. I hated apt. living!!! You must consider that there will not be much room for your children to play. If they play outside, they will no doubt disturb other renters and consequently have complaints. No matter how good the apartment complex is built, it will always be noisy, no matter what. Being in this business, quiet is imperative and something I never found in an apartment. There is always someone or something to disturb you. You also have no privacy. I lived on a first floor apt. and someone was constantly walking past my bedroom window and patio doors. They cannot help but "peek" in and I hated that as well. I love bright sunshine and fresh air and refused to keep my blinds pulled. I did not feel that I should have to. Also, being a nonsmoker, I found it difficult to deal with those that did, what with their left over smoke drifting into my apt. on a constant day/night basis. I had a "nice" apt. with all the appliances, including washer/dryer, dishwasher, etc, plus a garage. It was nice, but after being aggravated by the 3 in the morning parties going on every weekend and sometimes during the week, and the managers not doing their jobs of shoveling snow, salting walkways, or mowing the grass and picking up other peoples cigarette butts, I opted to buy my own condo. I went with a condo because they do take care of the outside. the inside is your responsibility. yes, you have to replace things if they break or repair them, but to me the cost is minimal compared to the aggravation of living in an apartment. a down payment helps your bottom line, and of course, there are the closing costs, but you also have to consider that you get to deduct your property taxes from you 1040 at the end of the year. Each option has its pros and cons, but with children, i would definately opt for purchase rather than rent. but that's just me. these are just some things to think about. good luck.
Does anybody know anything about buying a house from a tax auction? SM
I live in a small town and in our local paper there are always public listings of properties that are going to be sold on the courthouse steps in an auction because of foreclosures or failure to pay taxes, etc. I'm kind of interested in learning about this process because a cute older home I've had my eye on for a while is going to be sold this way in a couple of weeks and I am in a position to maybe buy it because I FINALLY settled with my insurance company over my house fire. So I have a nice little chunk of money (not a huge amount, but enough to buy a decent home for me and my kids). My ex-husband severely damaged my credit and so this may be the only way I can buy another house, besides I'd rather not use the money as a down payment on a big, huge fancy house I'll probably struggle to make payments on. I'd rather just buy a nice little three bedroom that is comfortable and affordable and allows me a little wiggle room with my finances. I'm living with family now and don't even get me started on how stressful that is!
So I was wondering if any my virtual colleagues and friends here at MTStars had any experience or knowledge of how this whole foreclosure/tax auction process works? Will there be an auctioneer and I will have to bid like at a regular auction? And usually how much do houses go for when sold this way? Do they go for the amount of taxes owed or how much the house is worth? The public notice from the county says the buyer has to put 10% down and pay the remaining balance in 30 days. So I'm trying to get an idea of whether I will have enough to pay cash the day of or if I will still need to get a small mortgage loan.
Any suggestions? I'm really dumb when it comes to stuff like this. I've never really had a head for business, but since leaving my ex, I've vowed to learn and be savvy and take control of my finances. And this would be a big first step towards that.
Thanks!
Home buying grants.
Anyone know of some programs to apply for first time home buying grants? :-)
Self-employed/IC and buying a house?
Ok, here's my story....I've been an IC for 3-1/2 years and an MT for 6. My husband and I are moving to another state and buying a house. The mortgage company wants me to get a letter from the company that I have a contract with stating that I can continue to receive work from them even after I move. My question is, is this normal to request this?? It seems really unprofessional of me to even ask them to write this letter as I'm NOT an employee of this company. The mortgage guy we're dealing with seems very young and doesn't seem to have experience with self-employed people, so I'm wondering if I really need to get this letter or if we should just use a differnet mortgage company? I would really appreciate it if anyone has been in a similar position could let me know if you needed to get this letter as well. FYI: We have excellent credit and have both been gainfully employed since we were teenagers. Thank you!
Thanks for your insight when buying a house
I wondered that too if all the houses gone up that much. I know they did some remodeling since they bought it 5 years ago but we have done some remodeling in this house too (same kind of remodeling) but I won't dare think it would sell for 66% above what we originally paided for it.
Than again, I would have to get an expert to come through here and tell me what they think it might sell for. I have not a clue. 
My gut feeling tells me that they need to come down. I saw the new house they were moving too. It is a huge, two story, maybe $300K home. DH and I think they have jacked up the price on this other home in order to help pay for the one they are in now.
Then other things would have to factor in like property taxes, cost of utilities which I know all that would be more than what we are paying now for this little house we are in now. "sigh" Oh well, maybe one day we will have something bigger.
Questions to ask when buying a house
We are going to look at a house we are both interested in in about an hour. I made up a list of questions. First off, I think the seller wants too much and have already told them so, they want 125k. They said they will consider coming down though I don't know how much. It is a 3 bedroom 2 bath brick home about 1600 sq ft. I don't think it is worth more than 80k and that is being generous, IMO but I am no expert. It is a nice house but not flawless. The outside gutters are coming off I know for sure. Dh had been in and he said some of the carpet is comming up. There are old trailer houses all in that block. The house directly behind us is an old abandoned house with sheep in the backyard. The neighbors beside us have chickens.
Anyway, the questions I came up with is: Aprasial value, property taxes, age of the house. Also I have been wanting to some how ask about Dh farm equipment. He has had it parked out here and the neighbors have yet to complain the whole 8 years we have lived here. However, some of my relatives across town have old cars parked in their driveway and they get complaints. My bestfriend's mother lives 2 blocks away from this home and she says there is not a crime problem. Howvever, sometimes kids drive up and down the street too fast so I would have to keep a close eye on my two little ones. We would still be in the same school district so that is not a question.
Anyone have any more tips to look for. Is it too nosey to ask what the utility expenses are? I thought about calling WTU but I don't know if they would tell me or not. 15 years ago they would because I asked about an appartment complex I was interested in living in. However, back then they had a local office I could call, not anymore. TIA.
Not buying any more doggie medicine
where she gets the medicine it is twice what I can get here in my town. i asked my veterinarian and ordered it one time for them (and paid that time) but have not paid since. I was asking hubs about picking it up and sending it as I doubt very seriously my veterinarian office would mail to her out of town. Guess I will not do that now- not trying to enable as she would pay for it.
Go to Walmart. Remember, buying the SM
original toothbrush is one thing; every six months or so, you have to purchase the replacement brush for the device. Wonder how much that costs?
Anyone own a Volvo? Thinking about buying
a used one. Are the tune ups and regular maintenance expensive on them? Good and bad experiences are welcomed. Thanks.
I've looked into buying them just to have
on-hand just in case, but there are sooooo many different kinds that I didn't even really know what to look for...
teen clothes
For boys (my younest son is almost 16) - American eagle is hugely popular around here. My son also likes Abercrombie but they are so ridiculously expensive. Dockers shorts - lots of good shorts at Kohl's if you have one near you. Also if he has a favorite band/bands - order some of their graphic T shirts online, let him express his personality. Kids that age love those kind of T shirts.
School clothes
Since I'm returning to school next week, I went to Kohl's to use a gift certificate I've had since Christmas. My excuse for buying clothes is that I'm going to be a college girl now, and school means clothes shopping, right?
I'm down to a size 10, and many things actually looked nice. Of course I was trying to follow suggestions from "What Not To Wear," which is a show that does give good guidelines. I even found a nice looking pair of jeans. One shirt I put on was adorable ... but more appropriate for a 20-something than a 40-something. It's hard to say exactly why, maybe the puffy sleeves. But I splurged and got 10 pieces, so that was really fun. Poor DH had to break out the charge card, but hey, at least it was Kohl's, where you get a lot for your money. Plus we had the gift card.
I feel better now that I have my shopping fix.
just trying on clothes in the store -- you can get it
The nurse at our health dept said the bug lives many many days on objects - even clothing.
And yes, you can, if you have a reduced immune system, or even just a little scratch or something -- you can catch MRSA from someone who had a sore who tried on the clothing before you.
You can try on a pair of slacks and if you have a skin opening, you are set to get it.
So many people who come in where I work, think they have a pimple and so many are in the gluteal, buttocks region -- never in the mucosal part of the vaginal/labia area -- have never seen the bug go there interestingly enough -- but in the crease of the buttocks or even on the buttocks......or on the legs, arms, even the face.
People think they have pimple or a bug bite.
And they spread it through a family by sharing towels etc
lol...those are my work clothes too...
nm
Clothes lines
We have fixed our own dryer half a dozen times, so we have a back up clothes line. One is in the house and one on the back porch. Unmentionables stay in the house. Wait for the reaction when they use that first scratchy towel for real snobbery!
Yeah, I have to run out and get the clothes - sm
off if he is cutting the grass, or if they are still wet I tell him he has to wait and do it later or the next day. My other problem is the dogs, my lab loves to rub herself through the clothes hanging low enough, usually the towels, yuk.
I have seen clothes that were like size....sm
20-something. I thought any store that carries plus sizes would carry up to very large sizes. At least that is what I thought. Maybe I am wrong.
comfy clothes
For me it's cotton pajama pants and my oversized Big Dog T shirts and slippers. If I'm planning on going out and running errands or if I'm working at my itty bitty outside job that day then I dress in "real people" clothes, but if I have a long day of sitting and typing ahead of me, comfort is the key.
I live alone. I might be more inclined to pretty myself up if I had hubby coming home at the end of the day, but my cats don't care what I look like as long as the food bowl stays filled.
Totally ridiculous, now everyone should stop buying it.......
don't ya think? But they won't. Never believed in it anyway. The real SECRET is those people are getting mega-rich!
Buying a house with someone who is not legally your spouse, is
I'm buying mine concer tickets! nm
nm
What about buying a bottle of 'Liquid Paper 2-in1" -sm
(which is a cool little combination wide brush or pinpoint correction fluid applicator, depending on which cap you take off), then paint the letters back on the keyboard? Then, once the Liquid Paper has dried, paint over it with clear nail polish to protect it from getting worn off.
(Or, like the poster below, if you REALLY want to confuse people, you could always paint the wrong letters on the wrong keys!)
;D
my boyfriend (who is buying the car) wants me to get a Honda - I want a convertible! nm
x
Do your dogs wear clothes?
little doggie sweaters or hats or boots?
mine don't. I had a dog once that I tried to put a sweater on but I lost.
Wear your clothes more than once before washing or
I wear jeans, khakis, and dress shirts at least 2 or 3 times before I wash them. They key with dress shirts is wearing an undershirt. Some of you may think it’s gross, but your clothes will not fade as quickly and you’ll spend less on detergent and dry-cleaning bills.
I love my clothes line
Nothing like hanging out sheets on a windy day, besides that it saves energy. Aren't we all supposed to be doing our bit to save energy??
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