Very normal feelings.......sm
Posted By: MT20+ on 2006-10-19
In Reply to: Warning - this is sad and somewhat discouraging - Very sad
I went through the same feelings with both my children, my daughter being the oldest. She had to take a drivers course at our local high school during the summer, then she got her permit. She drove with that for a few months before getting her license. But that first time she went with a girlfriend just down the street to a local burger joint made me crazy. I knew she would go slow and be very cautious, but that feeilng was still there, bordering on panic. She's 23 now. My son came next....he had to take the same course. He's was a little more pushy about the license, but didn't make a big deal out of it. But, unfortunately, within the month after getting them his dad said he could go to his girlfriend's.. it was rainy and I was not happy. She lives on a dead end street which is good, cause a dog ran out in front of him, he dodged it, and ran over the neighbor's utility box and tore up their beautiful grass. He was scared to death. Well, that got fixed and I guarantee he went slower after that. He's 20 now and as I notice a lot of guys do, he drives faster than his sister, but not as fast as his girlfriend, thank goodness!! He drives her car cause he tells her she goes too fast, won't use blinkers, no signals, makes me nuts. But they are grown and made it through those early testing times, and so will yours. By the time my son got his license, my state had graduated license, so he could only drive between certain daytime hours, and not past 7 at night for a few months. Check your state laws...a lot of them have these now.
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yo trose? What is *normal*? Normal means
*normal*? that only means one has a preconceived idea of what sanity is....
which I don't - so I have no answer......*lol*
what's *normal*?? Normal only means one has a
Feelings
are neither right or wrong, they just are, but I don't just feel that way, I believe it.
This was not a small child. This was a teenager. Think back to when you were one. Now, think back to what you were taught as a child. Can you honestly see yourself actually hanging yourself to death because someone insulted you on an internet site? I say there was a lot more wrong there than is public knowledge and the persons who would best (or should best) know that would be parents. I am not cold and unfeeling. I care. I do believe that suicide is a permanent soluion to a temporary problem and I brought up my children to believe that too. I also believe I have a right to my opinion and, unfortunately, have personal experience with this problem having had a relative's child in the family commit suicide as a teenager. I still believe that the parents need to train children from childhood on up about this and many other topics that seem to be left out of child rearing these days including manners, appropriateness, religion, drugs, sexuality, and work ethic. We all need to put more into our children and families at home. This includes extended family.
Sorry you have such a closed mind about my opinion and hope I have not hurt your tender feelings with my front-on approach.
I am really, really sorry because I know your feelings
I recently lost my beloved pet of 18 years but I have also lost animals to parvo in the past, really sad. I so feel for you and hope your heart will mend before long. We just love these little ones so much and does not take long for them to have us wrapped around their little paws. Sorry in your loss.
Why is okay for you to have your feelings but
I'm the one who started the Tolerance thread.
If I don't want to like or condone or support immorality, I don't have to. It is my choice, my right.
If you want to sit there and be happy about it or accept it or whatever, fine for you.
And it's not fine for the schools or government or any other group to determine what I or my children are allowed to think is acceptable or not. That is MY choice and MY right.
I understand your feelings, too. SM
Our school district lost 4 kids last year (2005-2006 school year) to car accidents (2 in one accident), and it's not a big district, as well as a young father of 3, who was killed by a drunk driver. But my daughter turned 16 last November and she went for her permit and got her license over the summer. As much as I would like to put all three of my kids up on a shelf so nothing ever happens to them, I know I can't. I pray for them daily and hope their father and I have set good examples for them as far as being behind the wheel.
My daughter also drives a very distinct looking car and her older brother also drove it, so everyone in the area knows who's car it is and the kids know I WILL hear about if they do something dumb.
Mixed feelings
I had extremely harsh and unforgiving feelings toward ANY sexual misconduct/abuse situation.
Then, one of the young boys in my family was found guilty of such.
It has split and torn my entire family apart.
The agony of loving this young man and despising his act is killing the soul. His parents are especially suffering.
Before I was in this situation, I simply felt we should put them all to death. Now, I'm not sure what to believe.
I do believe he should pay his consequences and I am relieved that the court has to do this terrible job. They can be objective. It is harder when you know the individual.
I want him to suffer the consequences of his actions. I want him to rightfully bear the conviction, the shame, the social retribution for it.
At the same time, I want him saved, rehabilitated, redeemed.
He is mortified of how he will be treated for the rest of his life. I remind him that one reaps what they sow.
I have great sympathy for him, for his victims (this was sexual misconduct, not rape), for all of us in this situation.
I'm not sure why I'm even posting this other than remind everyone: The persons who commit these acts are someone's child, too, regardless of age. Someone loves them, too.
I understand your feelings sm
but I say definitely go and enjoy. My husband and I have left our children (now 14 and 16) many times over the years since about the ages of 5 and 7. We could only go on short trips like 2 to 3 nights but I think it really helped them to learn a little independance. The first time my daughter went away to camp she was 11 and it was for 2 weeks. On the second night she broke her collarbone and begged us not to come and get her. Kids don't suffer near as much separation anxiety as parents do.
You know my feelings also, but you get blasted
when you feel like this, on this board you do. Mine are grown also. I think lots on this board maybe with young babies, children and the like and have not reached the point to where it is not as coochie-cho as it was when little. Not a happy ever after type thing. One child self-reliant but into their own little self and the other 1 had to close the bank on that one. No more hearing from that 1, not even a call on Mothers Day. Have not talked to them in over 2 years now and live in the same town. Oh, loved them as babies though. Didn’t last a lifetime.
Yes, I understand your feelings
My Mom died in 1981, my dad in 1984. I was in my early 30s, not married, no kids, all my other siblings had their own families. I lived with my parents for about 8 years longer than any of the rest of them.
For about 15 years, I missed them so much it physically hurt. I still miss them, but I've moved along enough in the grieving process that now I am more balanced about it. I still miss them deeply, esp. on holidays which were always celebrated by the entire family together but not since Mom died.
The emotional scar tissue gets thicker but grief is a life long process and anyone who says otherwise is not being honest. There will always be a void.
mixed feelings
I have mixed feelings on this subject. I think a lot of it has to do with the owners but maybe there is something about the breed too - not sure. But yesterday a friend of ours had to shoot his neighbor's pit bull. . The dog was known to be mean and is usually kept inside but it was out and came after our friend's 2y/o grandchild. He got the child inside and when he looked out, the dog was going after another neighbor's child. He got his gun and shot it. . However, I will say, the owner of the pit bull is a known drug dealer and not a very nice person, so that could be why the dog was so aggressive.
Mine comes from the job and my feelings at the end of the day. sm
I have done transcription and/or typing of one type or another for years it seems. So the MT is what I do for a living (and the way my brain feels) and the "worn out" is the way I feel after doing my job all day and then my 2nd job on top of that.
I understand your feelings
My in-laws won't even do what your family is doing. They insist that everyone should get a gift. Well not even that but they say to just "cut back" which means what exactly???? I don't know. I didn't grow up with big Christmas presents and all that...family and dinner was emphasized. It makes me wish xmas was just another day. We can't afford it this year but when trying to talk to anyone about it they act like we have no head.
If you want to participate, I would do the flat $25 in a gift card for dinner or groceries and leave it at that. How can they get upset when you stick to the agreement. If they don't like your choice, that's too bad. Maybe they shouldn't participate next year if they have such high standards.
Feelings may be temporary sm
We work in a very stressful profession. Just think about it for awhile. I stuck my marriage out and am glad I did now. Sometimes you have to talk directly to the person, tell him how you feel and ask for his cooperation. Truth be told, I don't see any "perfect" marriages. Leave the religion out of it and look at the marriage, the consequences, and where you will be in 10 years from now. Don't exchange one situation for a worse one. Sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side, but people lie a lot! Think hard before you do something you may regret. I'm glad I stayed.
Had my feelings hurt, how to handle?
About a week ago my elderly aunt called and told me she was having problem with her scalp, asked what did I think she should do, dermatologist she asked. Told her I would be happy to check on an ole timey medicine to apply to scalp, used for daughter before and worked. Distributor no longer made but phamacist suggested something else. I took to her and did not want money for it and told her so. Today I get the cost of the medicine back and then she goes on to say what a terrible smell, stung when she first put it on (says so on the directions which I am sure she read), awful smell, could not go out anywhere, had to wash her hair, just terrible putrid smell. Now, except for a doctors visit every one in awhile, she does not go out and that is not every week. I did this out of kindness and now I feel hurt, not only about her returning the money but most of all how she went on and on and on about how she could not use. She is not senile, has plenty of sense, although elderly still drives and no kind of problems except I think she was kinda rude to me. Any ideas? Should I say something, let it go, not involve myself any more??
PS: *Gut feelings* are usually correct in my case! -nm
.
I agree with your feelings, except the PETA
part. That is a very strange organization whose actual weird agenda they keep out of sight. I am for protecting animals, but not PETA. They would have people release their pets into the wild and let nature take its course. But they don't advertise that side of their beliefs. You would have to look into the origins of the organization.
The part about you hoping never have same feelings about your son
I would have never thought in a million years I would ever be alienated from my son but am and it has been at least 3-4 years since I saw or talked with him. He tried and I say tried, to say things that he should have never said against me. I wish him the best but I would never stand by and hear what came out of his mouth to come out again. I cut any and all ties with him and his family.
Honestly, it would hurt my feelings...
I've always had a key to my parents' house and if they asked for it back, it would hurt my feelings. It's kinda like saying you're not welcome here. Every time my parents move, they have extra keys made for me and my siblings, and it makes me feel like the door is always open. I live less than a mile away from them, but I make sure to always call before I come over. You might want to explain why you took the key from your son and make sure he didn't take it the wrong way and that he's still welcome to come back just to make sure he's okay with it.
I don't let people hurt my feelings any more sm
Was told years ago by a very good psychiatrist that we can control this ourselves - it is all about expectations. We let them hurt us - you had a higher expectation of her and when she did not deliver - she hurt you - so lower your expectation - realize she is weird (!!) that it was rather insulting - but don't let it hurt your feelings - and move on!! Kind of confusing I know - but it works
I agree with your feelings and opinions.
I LIKE MIKE, too. Wish he had a "snowball's chance".
Honestly I have mixed feelings on this.
On one hand...I feel it is your body, you can do what you wish. Who should say what you do with your body. Providing it is willing, agreeing, consenting adults, that should be their choice.
On the other hand...I think some, if not many, who get into prostitution, it is a bad life...they have low self esteem, no respect for themselves...and they are at their lowest and do not know what to do or where to turn. Many times they are so involved with drugs and alcohol, they can not think clearly.
But at the same time...the ones who are "low", are going to do what they can to make money....whether it is prostitution, selling drugs, stealing....illegal or not, they will do it if they are that desperate.
Heck, there are women and men out there selling thier bodies, making good money...or at least money...why not make it legal so you can tax them!
You sound like you share my feelings for
all these wondeful creatures. Please know I said Monster in the most loving way!!! We laugh at her constantly when she manipulates and tells us what she wants! She is bound to get it, too. If we give her something and she doesn't want it at the moment she will throw it out of her beak onto the floor and then sit with her head turned with one eye staring at it. She sings because I sing to her a lot and that is just adorable. She actually puts the vibration in her voice! You are so right on about the emotions of animals. They have needs and wants, and need to be loved and have companionship. I think many times over about her future. I wish I knew you and could work with you in caring for birds. I think they so very special. Keep up what you are doing. You are really making a difference.
she is just expressing her feelings, do NOT BASH HER FOR THAT..
YOU HAVE SOME NERVE !!!!
But you are more concerned about her feelings than the life of your cats
Sounds like you care more for her dog and her feelings than your cats. Sorry if your feelings are hurt for people getting upset with you but that is a lot less than what your cats felt. There is no suggestion you can give her as it is apparent that she will not take them. Plain and simple -- it will not stop and if you get more cats you are asking for it. So either accept the situation as it and beware that it may next be you or your child or your dog or do something about and that is getting rid of the dog or keeping it in a fenced situation.
Because it seems as though you are more concerned about her feelings than the life of an animal
Since you no longer have any cats there should be no problem until they attack a member of your family and then we can go through all of this again. Why are her dogs more important than your cats -- because she treats them like children -- come on get realistic. Not only were your cats providing a service for your family they were older and had been there longer and deserve better treatment and loyality than what you are giving them. Again, since you no longer have cats and do not expect to get any more why do you need any solutions until these dogs do it to someone elses animals that will take action against them or your SIL. And putting them in a 8 x 12 foot run is not that bad -- lots better then letting then "run at large". Again I am just going by what your attitude --not much concern about the death of two cats but really concerned about hurting someone's feelings. Good luck.
FEELINGS. . . SOOOO sick of that stupid thing! NM
xx
Effexor caused strange buzzing feelings in my head when trying to stop it nm
x
maybe it's normal and I'm the odd one?
DS#1, age 17, likes a girl who is a junior, so she's probably 16 or 17. I'll call her J. DS has sort of liked her for a while, but she had a boyfriend. That boyfriend dumped her recently because he wanted to date someone else.
J was distraught over it for a couple of weeks and ended up going out with DS so now they're a "couple" and DS is very happy.
She's a bright girl, attractive, on the honor roll, very active in sports, tutors kids in the evening, is in the high school band, etc.
Anyway, J told my son that she needs to have a guy in her life and doesn't really feel complete without one.
Isn't it odd to feel that way, especially at that young of an age? Or maybe it's normal and I'm the odd one?
no it is not normal but is
very sad that she would think that. he needs to watch out or he will be paying child support the rest of his life!
Normal???
Definitely Normal
This is definitely normal behavior. I have a 13 year old and when she saw the Backstreet Boys back when she was older, she had a similar reaction. I remember feeling the same when I saw my "idols" years ago.
This is normal!
I was this way when I started too. I had my first period in December, just after my 12th birthday, and didn't have another one until March. Very common during the first year. And yes, her physical activity can be part of the reason...often athletes and the like have irregular menses.
TO: What is...normal
What is your problem? This woman is scared for her life and the lives of her children and you have the unmitigated gall to try to insinuate that she be subservient to this walking horror she is married to and make nice with him? Apparently your nerve is overwhelmed by any common sense you may have been born with. I wonder if you would feel the same if it were your sister, aunt or god forbid - your mother..ignorant..
To me, this is a normal job. I am up at 4 a.m. and
start work, take a break about 7 to shower and at least put on my work out clothes, including bra, some make up, etc, then backto work. Nothing worse to me than working in jammies...can't take the ob seriously, JMHO. I also like to look presentable should anyone visit (live very rurally, so doesn't usually happen) and especially when DH comes home from work. Who wants to see a wife still in jammies looking a wreck?
No. It is not normal.
My husband is my high school sweetheart. We have been together since we were 16 (39 now) and married for 17 years. We have had some heated arguments but never once has he laid a hand on me nor would he. Never once has either of us called names or disrespected one another. It is just not acceptable to treat someone you love with any less respect than you expect for yourself. It sounds like you do love him but he violated your trust and security in him. If he hasn't been abusive since that one incident, you could consider marriage counseling to help work through trust and forgiveness. If he is emotionally abusive, then it could just be a matter of time before it gets physical again. Your safety is the most important thing. Good luck.
Yes, it's normal. You do need help from DH, mom, in-law. You SM
need time to yourself. Even an hour a day. Believe me, it isn't easy and you should not feel you are the only one who feels the way you do.
Books, commercials, et. al, show endless scenes of serene mothers and babies. Most times are NOT serene, but, trust me, they get better. The more sure of yourself you become, the better things get and the second child will be easier. Wait a minute, I didn't have a second child, but my only child did!
Yes, it's normal. You do need help from DH, mom, in-law. You SM
need time to yourself. Even an hour a day. Believe me, it isn't easy and you should not feel you are the only one who feels the way you do.
Books, commercials, et. al, show endless scenes of serene mothers and babies. Most times are NOT serene, but, trust me, they get better. The more sure of yourself you become, the better things get and the second child will be easier. Wait a minute, I didn't have a second child, but my only child did!
very normal
My hubby is an OB/GYN and that is very common. Just a much better view. Annoying and uncomfortable, yes, but just a better view.
Normal anxiety???
I have a lot going on in my life right now - mother-in-law diagnosed with advanced metastatic ovarian cancer a week and a half ago, requested husband and I go to a marriage counsellor (which I started even though I don't want to), and starting a new full-time job at a hospital (not at home) on Monday. I have not worked FT outside of my home since my children were born and am worried about having them in early and after care, holidays, etc.
Anyway, I have been waking up and night with my heart pounding, cannot get back to sleep for hours, and having a "panicky" feeling in my chest off and on throughout the day. I feel like crying. Do you think this is situational anxiety or do I need medication? I can't stand this feeling!! Thanks for any advice!
Very normal. Let her get her license, but
give her rules. No passengers other than you or her dad. No phone use while car is in gear. Drive during daylight only for first 3 months. Make sure she knows ahead of time how she is getting somewhere. Stress following rules of the road, using blinkers, once you are in a lane to turn, go through with it and correct her course later when safe. Calmly explain that driving is a privilege. If she doesn't seem safe enough, make her take a defensive driving course also. It can't hurt.
It seems normal to me. I had a friend
who went to a therapist for years, and I truly got the impression he had her continue to come because she was so entertaining with her stories.
What is more important than style is whether she is helping you. Is your concern that you don't feel you are making progress? Is she having you try new things or otherwise work on your issues? Or is she just having you talk and nothing else?
The only therapy I've had was biofeedback training, which was very helpful for me because it taught me a skill, plus I could talk to the tech like a therapist. She definitely made me feel better about things.
It's not your normal kind of tea..sm
and one cup, I don't think, will make one P three to four times during the night, but whatever works for you.
TOTALLY normal! (sm)
My kids are younger than yours, but I am the youngest of three. I have an older sister and older brother. My brother is the oldest and he is three years older than me. I can remember growing up and being picked on by my brother (and sister) and there were times when I felt like I truly hated him. I'm sure he felt the same about me at times. Now I love him dearly and I think he is one of the greatest men in my life. I'm sure it sounded horrible to you, but don't worry. It's perfectly normal.
Absolutely ~ it is normal.....nm
x
I actually have, and it was completely normal - SM
I'm in my mid-20s and have always been very healthy and active. I could never even catch the chickenpox from my friends as a child! LOL! Oh well, I'll have to see if stopping this antihistamine makes a difference. I feel completely fine otherwise.
should say "are" normal....
xx
sounds like a normal
reaction/depression to situation. I'm sorry for your loss. I dread going through what you are, and i know my time is near, with elderly parents and elderly husband. I guess a lawyer that specializes in estates could help with those aspects. Might also inquire of a friend, neighbor or church member that has been through similar. To get out of a funk, i'd recommend trying to do something for someone else -- volunteer, donate, help someone who has needs (babysitting, taking elderly to store, etc) That has a way of revitalizing a person. Hope your new year gets better soon.
Perverting the normal
You can rant all day about how happy you are to live alone without a plant, or a pet, or anyone else, but you are the exception, not the rule...and quit dissing the bible.
you asked what was normal
Your parents showed you how to have a peaceful divorce, so I am absolutely sure that you know how to have a peaceful divorce.
normal for this profession sm
Typing in dark, just got up,but we have to have quiet and solitude to pay attention to what we're doing. I rented an office because my husband talks so much, never near my work but used to sit on the stairs and talk to me and kept interrupting. Even with an office I would get upset if someone walked in while I was working. It's part of the problem and I do like people but find them very irritating when I try to concentrate. Now I feel I am a "victim" of having no one to really "talk" to when I need to "talk" because I was so short with everyone. It's hard, I'm lonely too, that's why I come in here. SAD, people don't understand. It's a lonely profession. But then again, I hate "small talk" after all the true in-depth stories I heard from my work, all the rest seems boring and not important. So you have "company" after all!
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