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Very good advice -

Posted By: NYMT on 2009-01-23
In Reply to: You can't fix it - deenibeeni

When I picked her up from school today, she made it a point to tell her father and me how grateful she is that we have always worked at home so she's felt safe. She also said she spent first period crying this morning because her friend's father had cried in front of her friend for the first time in her life. It's such a tough time.


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Need advice on a good, adjustable chair for typing. Any advice? nm
nm
Very good advice

In addition, get out of the situation now, and don't even consider going back until he has been sober at least a year. He won't change until he is ready to. There is nothing - absolutely NOTHING - that you can do about that, except say, "Honey, I love you, but I can't live with you while you're drinking. When you get clean and sober, we'll talk."


Don't worry about what your coworkers think of you, or even what friends and family think.  This is YOUR life, and you have to deal with it as you see fit. They are not walking in your shoes. They don't know what you are going through.  By staying an "enabling" your husband to continue in his present behavior, you are doint the wrong thing for you and for him. By leaving, you will at least get yourself out of the situation, and hopefully once your husband figures out you're really not coming back, it will be enough of a shock for him to rethink what he is doing with his life.


But regardless - GET OUT, as soon as possible. Yes, you will be lonely. Yes, you will be sad. But it is the RIGHT thing to do.


Hang in there and best of luck to you.


Good advice
Yours is the best advice I have seen so far. If it is not critical (and hopefully she knows if it is or isn't) maybe she can just save a little money in case it gets critical and she needs to move her teepee to a new village. I think what I read about the church guy is scary (he sounds like a creep) and her husband even scarier. Blocking the door is a form of control, but is subtle in comparison to some forms of control. Having known women who have been severely injured and worse because they kept going back or remaining in a marriage that endangered their wellbeing, I think she needs to seriously address this problem for her sake and the sake of her children and she needs professional help and assistance in doing this. They can help her assess her individual situation and any lethal behavior issues. I wish her good luck and I hope she takes your advice first, just in case, while she pursues her options.
That is good advice, but may I also add...
There is a government-sponsored (I think) credit counseling system that will help you for free. I am not sure what it is called, but I am sure you could Google it. It is legit. I had a family friend who was way behind and used a company that he paid. As the other poster said, they just paid all his bills as a lump sum and they kept paying them late as a lump sum or not paying them at all. So, I suggest the free one...worth a try anyway.

Good luck!
Good advice! nm
xx
Thanks - good advice - sm
I am being very careful - he knows nothing about me - not even my real name is on my email address. I will not allow him to contact me by phone or any way other than through this anonymous email address. I had not thought about the fact that he might be lying!! I had thought about him being mentally ill or at least not in a normal state of mind presently. But I will not under any circumstances give him any info about myself. thanks for the reminder
Good advice! sm
Thanks!
Thank you so much for the good advice.
Something we have not discussed is the committment one takes on with a pet. I know she feels like I do, that pets are "kids" and treated as a true family member. I think that might be the key that will fit in this scenario. She brings up these discussions as "news" of his condition arises, not me pushing it on her.

She did have to make this decision with a childhood pet and it was not a difficult decision for my mom, but that was before her other losses. I feel that this is more about her feelings than the dog. Thank you for recognizing that this is not about me wanting to push her into a decision but it is about wanting to help her through what I know is a difficult decision and the loss after but something that is inevitably coming. I have offered to come and do it for her or with her and my sister has done the same.

Thank you for the advice anon. Hopefully after the holidays pass I will have another opportunity to discuss this with her and approach it in this manner.
That is good advice, but we tried
that last year. I mentioned below about my son with Asperger's being bullied at school. We asked for my husband and me to be able to take turns going to school with him until he could work his way out of the EBD class he had been inappropriately placed in (this was part of the bullying of us by the school that I mentioned). The Assistant Principal of Special Education would not allow us to do that. She said it would be too much of a distraction to the other students. I think that, at least in part, they are trying to keep a parent from babying their children too much, which may be appropriate in some situations, but in ours, where my son was being bullied in a classroom of emotionally and behaviorally disordered children and the teachers were doing nothing, I think we should have been allowed to attend with him and I think her excuse was just that, an excuse. These children, to our understanding, would be in general education classes but for some outside influence (divorce, poor family situation, death of someone close to them, etc.) that has caused them to begin "acting out" and behaving badly. They saw my son's reactions to their taunting, and it made it all the more fun to taunt him. The way the class was structured, it would have taken 25 consecutive positive school days to get out of the class, and we were willing to use all of my husband's paid time off and I would have worked at night or whatever it took, but they just would not allow us to go to school with them. We really were at their mercy, and they had none.
thanks for all the good advice...
I didn't know that about financing the land. Guess I figured I could get a 30 year mortgage. It is getting very hard to even get a loan now for a house plus I too have a house that will be hard to sell. Unemployment in our little town is about 18 percent and getting worse daily it seems. Good advice too about the high speed internet. I see a lot of satellite dishes on the homes already built in the area.
Thank you for all of the good advice...
It means a lot. I will pass all of the information on to her. I feel a little helpless as I live over 7 hours away from her. I felt horrible when my Mom called and told me my sister's fiance might not make it. He is only 29. They are way too young to have to go through this. I am hoping his family will be supportive. Part of the reason I had no problem moving away is our parents were never very supportive. Although they weren't alcoholics, my sister has always ended up getting involved with someone who was.

My sister and I have different fathers and were both raised by our Mom and her Dad (my stepdad). My Dad, who was an alcoholic, only contacted me when he was clean for quite a while. He said it was his close brush with death that made him turn things around and want to get to know me. I was 21 at the time he contacted me, and I was 26 when he passed. I was really happy and proud that he was able to turn his life around. While he always worked, he was eventually able to buy a nice house, but sadly he only was able to enjoy everything for a short time. Everyday I wish he could be here because after I got to know him, he was always there for me. It might sound mean to the parents who raised me, but my Dad actually helped me more and was more supportive than my parents ever were.

Well, time to go back to work. I just wanted to say thank you for all of your advice. I'll let you know how everything goes. I guess he had a liver biopsy today. I don't really know her fiance very well as she became involved with him after I moved away, but something that has crossed my mind is I am afraid of how he might be when she won't run to the store for him anymore to get his gin or whatever else. I told her if that happens to make sure she leaves. I have never dated an alcoholic, but I have always ended up in abusive relationships, and I'm afraid that hers might turn this way, also.
Good advice - second opinion
Getting a non-military second opinion is a good piece of advice. Ask the docs or nurses at your infirmary or base hospital who they would go to or send their spouse to and make the appointment and go to them. She could have a-fib as well and feel like a dish rag. Godalmighty, everyone wants to cut!!
Good advice. Wish we could trust everyone. . . NM
xx
Good advice. As my sister says sm

Why is it some people think their dogs are just oddly shaped humans?


We had a lab cross puppy from about 7 weeks to about 4 months.  My daughter just brought her home one day and we knew we weren't going to keep her because we are moving in a few months.  We did take the time to crate train her, potty train her, etc., etc.  With a lot of patience a ton of praise, yet a firm voice and boundaries, she turned out to be great pup.  She was pretty hyper, but listened well and was very eager to please and she needed constant supervision.  We  thought we finally found the perfect family for her.  The first thing the new family told me, as they were leaving with her, was they thought it was cruel to crate the dog at night and told me they chose not to.  Big red flag! :)


Three days after the family took her they called me and wanted me to take her back.  I was accused of misleading them because the dog was not listening to them and was tearing their house apart and having accidents everywhere.  They let her have free run of the house and then locked her in a small room while they went to work all day with nobody to check on her.  I mean, what did they expect?  I told them specifically what she was used to right down to what time she went to bed in her crate at night and what time I let her out in the morning and they went completely against everything I told them and couldn't understand why she was such a bad dog.  And they only gave it THREE days! 


Very good advice, "tired". sm
I don't think I could be that good a person. I'd get rid of all of them and let that be that. :D
Good advice for your daughters.

Hi XXX:  Read all your posts with Mom with girls.  Basically I agree with most everything you say.  I too took my daughter to Family Planning Clinic, where she was given BC pills.  I told her the facts of life and warned her about consequences of getting pregnant or some diseases too.  I left the decision up to her and the responsibility of taking the pills.  She was 18 at that time and already graduated from high school, so legally an adult.  She did become pregnant at 18 and went through pregnancy and gave birth, but not married.  The father came along and helped with money to raise his child.  They did have a stormy time of it, but now they are 31 and 30 with 3 more children.  She was lucky because her husband is very responsible now, building contractor and very good father.  he absolutely loves his children, so my daughter was very lucky.  Of course we know that not all girls have a happy ending to their story. 


All you can do as a mother is to support your children, give them guidance and proper moral standards that hopefully they will live by.  I have really tried very hard to not be judgmental or to criticize when the problems came.  I think that is probably the worse thing to do to your kids.  After all we all make mistakes.  Of course it is easier to give advice than the actual practicing of this advice.  Whatever happens to your kids, try to stand by them and love them. 


 


yes, this is good advice: It is cheaper to go to the
supermarket and buy the cheap stuff on sale, then plan what to cook and buy the additiional necessities.
more advice - you'll be no good to those kids if

I was there - for 12 years - and my sanity was going - married to a passive-aggressive (oh and there are female passive-aggressives out there too *hint hint - his MIL*).....and I couldn't take it - when my child was 7.....and by 9, I cared more at that moment about what I was feeling (brink of possible loss of sanity/stability in myself) - and I chose to save myself - I, once again in life, became my own hero (I did the same at 17-18 when I chose to leave a shaky home)....I knew that I'd be an even BETTER mom if I didn't have him draining on me - and so it became!!  My offspring is nearly 27 and turned out great (no thanks to the DH and my D there isn't for DEAR but lots of other D's).....


Save yourself or your children will NOT be getting your absolute BEST.....


best of luck to you sincerely!!!


Signed:  Better to raise kids in a happy divorced family/house than a miserably married one......


Some good advice, but mine is much simpler....
Stay away from the ones that have children!!! ; )
You ladies all know so much and give such good advice, that I will ask here. sm
My daughter's room has been painted and now the expensive custom made draperies that were in the room no longer "match" the room color. I wonder if there is a place I can take them to have then "painted" or dyed to match. Any suggestions? Thanks!
Very good advice. I stayed for the sake SM
of my daughter, until she finished high school. I don't regret it and I'm very happy now, but I'm older. Women today tend to end things and I honestly don't think that is especially bad.
Good advice, Southern Belle. nm
xx
Good Advice (new to board, so hope this is the right place)
Read this and  make a copy for your files in case you need to refer to it  someday.  

A corporate  attorney sent the following out to the employees in his  company.   Maybe we should all take some of his advice!  

 1. Do not sign  the back of your credit cards.  Instead, put "PHOTO ID REQUIRED".  

2. When you  are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO NOT put the  complete account number on the "For" line.  Instead, just put the last  four numbers.  The credit card company knows the rest of the number,  and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the  check processing channels won't have access to it.

 3. Put your  work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone.  If you have a  
PO Box use that instead of your home address.  If you do not have a PO  Box, use your work address.  Never have your SS# printed on your checks  (DUH!).  You can add it if it is necessary but, if you have it printed,  anyone can get it.

 4. Place the  contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine.  Do both sides of each  license, credit card, etc.  You will know what you had in your wallet  and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel.   Keep the photocopy in a safe place.  I also carry a photocopy of my  passport when I travel either here or abroad.  We've all heard horror  stories about fraud that's committed on us in stealing a name, address,  Social Security number, credit cards, etc..

 Unfortunately,  I, an attorney, have firsthand knowledge because my wallet was stolen last  month. Within a week, the thieves ordered an expensive monthly cell phone  package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a  Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record  information online, and more.  But here's some critical information to  limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know.  

 5. We have  been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately.  But the key  is having the toll-free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom  to call.  Keep those where you can find them.

 6. File a  police report immediately in the jurisdiction where your credit cards, etc.  were stolen.   This proves to credit providers you were diligent,  and this is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).  
 
But here's  what is perhaps most important of all (I never even thought to do this.).  


7. Call the 3  national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert  on your name and also call the Social Security fraud line number.  I  had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me  an application for credit was made over the Internet in my name. The alert  means any company that checks your credit knows your information was stolen,  and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit.   
By the time I  was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft, all the damage had  been done. There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the  thieves' purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the  alert.  Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves  threw my wallet away this weekend (someone turned it in).  It seems to  have stopped them dead in their tracks.


Now, here are  the numbers you always need to contact about your wallet, etc., has been  stolen:
 
1.) Equifax:  1-800-525-6285

2.) Experian  (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742

3.) Trans  
Union : 1-800-680-7289

4.) Social  Security Administration (fraud line): 1-800-269-0271

We pass along  jokes on the Internet; we pass along just about everything.  

If you are  willing to pass this information along, it could really help someone.


 


My heart goes out to you and your children - I wish I had some really good advice to give you; I
understand your situation.  I remember as a child how my mom would exhibit similar behavior, especially when she did not get her "way". I will never forget how it made me feel, and to this day I personally despise those who use manipulative destructive behavior to get whatever they think they want from others.  For the sake of your sanity and that of your children - please find the strength to get this man out of your life.  Children are very perceptive, even when we are doing our level best to protect them from situations such as this.  God has not forsaken you or your children and neither have the majority of us on this board.  I don't want to come across as being sappy but even though I don't know you, I love you because you are my sister in the eyes of God, and I will be praying for you and your children.  You are all your children have and you are much stronger than you realize.  I wish you peace and prayer in this troubling time in your life.
Good advice. In this economy, lay low. Sounds like a PT job may be in order to increase income. (
dd
Good advice was given here. Suggest vet check-up for kitty needs vet check. sm
I've had 2 females over the years who developed stones/crystals in urine or UTIs.  Both of them started spraying inappropriately.  Never had a female spray inappropriately other than in these instances.  They go into spasm and can't help themselves.  If it is a urinary problem, eventually you may see slight pink-tinged spray if it gets that far untreated due to the irritation from constantly trying to pee.  One more thought is if the kitty is not sick, maybe the other cat won't let her use the litter box for some reason.  Maybe set up another box for her.
Anyone have any good holiday dessert recipes? Looking for something good to take to a party. nm
x
What a good role model you are for good holiday spirit...wow nm

Awesome! Good service is good news.
nm
glad to see you look at it this way! Really good idea! Have a good season! nm
nm
Good Fences make good neighbors
You can get premade cedar fencing that comes in sections. You dig a post hole at the appropriate distance and fill with a bag of quick-crete. Alternatively, you could buy a used fence from a place that hauls away.

You could also get an electric fence, just hook to a battery and run the cord (for retraining purposes) it would not hurt your dogs.

I feel your pain. Roll up your sleeves and pray for some digging weather!
Re: Advice

I am a new mom to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't think I would mind going to work part-time. Well, I've been crying my self to sleep every night. I have my B.A. in Business Administration and have been in the banking industry for 6 years. I have been searching all over for a legitimate work at home opportunity. It seems like medical transcription is a great opportunity. I'd like advice from people who do this from home. I'd like to know where you got the training and what your first job was (since that seems to be a big issue). Also, will my B.A. help at all? I know employers like people with MT experience but I accquired other skills such as meticulous attention to detail that I know is needed. Any and all information is greatly appreciated. Thank you.


Please see Main board for all transcription-related topics.  This message has been moved to Main.


advice
I do have to say that unless you already have an "in" it is difficult to find a job. Most places won't hire you if you don't have at least two years experience but you can't get experience unless someone hires you. You don't necessarily have to get certified right away just take an accredited program that is specifically for medical transcription. Once your done with school just keep trying, don't give up and try to take your time and ace the preemployment tests. If you do really well some places will give you an offer even if you don't have experience. Take the first job you can get because even if it doesn't pay well you are still gaining experience and it will make it easier for you to get a new job.
Cat advice please....

I have a kitten who is appx. 7 months old. He refuses to eat any kind of cat food, canned, dry, dry mixed with canned, dry mixed with water, cat treats, etc. I have tried baby food, dog food, etc. He will only eat KMR weaning powder, which I mix with water. Have tried to mix food into it but he will not eat it. He tries to cover everything up like it should be in the cat box! No vet seems to concerned about this...he likes to eat chicken, people food chicken that is, and turkey. I am stumped.


This cat MUST learn to eat before May because I am going on vacation for 3-1/2 weeks...any suggestions for this problem?


Thanks for the advice....sm
I will give each a try! I hate to leave him while on vacation, but have no other choice. And the only reason it is for so long is because I don't fly and my DH and I are driving cross country to see family...I'm sure he will be fine, but no kids at home anymore so they are my babies! It's nice to have people to bounce ideas off of!
I thank you all for your advice - I am
an animal lover, have 2 cats, 2 dogs. Love feeding the birds outside. I can't help feeling betrayed by these outside creatures that probably fill their bellies at my bird feeders and have now started war on my house. I guess I will start off with putting some Dcon in the attic - as much as I hate to kill them, I don't want my house chewed apart either. I just hope they don't die and rot someplace where I can smell them.

My cats were going crazy last night and spent much of the night gazing up at the ceiling in my bedroom with their mouths watering. I hope at least tonight the invader picks another part of the house to snack and dig so I can get some sleep.

Thanks again for the advice.

And Hayseed - I agree that Indian is a little un-PC, so are some of the ones with the smiley faces shooting at each other, but they're pretty funny (I guess unless you're Indian)!
Re: Looking for advice

Thanks, that was very helpful! I'm sorry about the info overload, I guess I just wasn't sure exactly where to begin asking. I think I'll just get the basic foot pedal, upgraded computer, headphones etc. and get some finanicing for the "extras" that may come up and take the plunge.


My advice to you is
Get yourself the book - think it is called Co-Dependent No More and get yourself to a support group ASAP - not sure what they are called - but if someone here does not tell you then call AA yourself and find out the name of the support group for spouses, family, etc.  AND if you don't find a supportive support group - hunt around until you do - DO NOT GIVE UP.   Help yourself to understand this disease/disorder and get help for yourself and then you can help him through this process also.  Thank goodness you do not have children and good for you for asking for help.  E-mail me if you want - lots of alcoholics in my family and would be glad to help you!!  Take care.  Will be praying for  you.
This is THE best advice yet. I always will take on sm
10-year-old son's friends, especially when they say rude things. I'll say, "excuse me, what did you just say? Well, we do not talk like that in this house." And I promise you, they either stop coming around or they are VERY polite around me. If they do slip and say something rude they will immediately cover their mouths and say I'm sorry while looking at me. I do scare them a bit, I suppose. But I show them my authority and that I will not stand for that kind of nonsense and then they stop.

If they did that to me I would have immediately turned around and said, "what did you just say?" And then I'd tell a little white lie and say, "I know exactly who you 2 are" (and I'd say it so convincingly) and then say, "It looks like a call into your mother and father is in order today." Have a nice day, guys."


Thanks for the advice
I am assuming he did it sometime on Sunday. He came limping to the house on Monday morning and there was no sign of blood, no fresh blood or no old blood. It doesn't appear to be infected at all. Now that the flap is gone, I don't see any open areas at all. No swelling or redness and it is not touchy at all. He lets me manipulate it and even squeeze his paw so I don't think there is any infection there. I guess we are really bad - but no vets bills unless absolutely no other alternative!
Need advice about how to get what I want done
Okay here goes I can handle a department but when it comes to cleaning my home I have problems getting across what I want or maybe I am too nice. Tell me what you think please!!!
My home is 1st /2nd floor with a basement (laundry /storage). I want them to thoroughly clean the kitchen (any dishes, counters, stove, fridge sweep mop etc) clean all three bathrooms(completely), dust living room, dining room, and hallways. Tidy guest bedroom (you know dust vacuum). I do not want them to clean anyof the childrens rooms or mine or touch my office. I want all door sills wiped/dusted and ceiling fans and lamps cleaned and about the windows divided out so that they are cleaned at least once a month my kids have to clean theirs weekly. I am prepared to pay $100 to $120 a visit and want them in one a week or every other week which ever works better for them so that it stays decent and can be completed within a 3-5 hour time range. I have to be home when they do it because my dog will not allow it otherwise.

My problem is this I was told what I was asking was not over and above and that I was paying an extremely fair wage since the area they are actually cleaning is less than have the square footage. No work in the basement, only hallway and to small bathrooms on the second floor and all of the first floor. A couple of companies I tried were horrible right off the bat and were not asked back. The individuals seemed to work the best but after a month or two the work was being half done and I would have to go behind them checking. I do not have time for this and I do tip usually about $20 a visit. How do you get them to do everything you want. Should I be totally anal and make a check list and if it is not done subtract from their next visit???(husbands suggestion). I just want it done right I am willing to pay good money so that I can spend my free time with my kids and my husband not scrubing toilets and windows.

Thanks I appreciate any advice
Thanks for the advice- however I do not believe
she is depressed, has loads of things to keep her busy. She basically hurt my feelings when she broke her hip last year and I asked what she would like, pears so I got those, knowing she loved chocolate, got some of that and got some flowers. Oh, I had overdone it, too much. I do not remember her saying anyone else had overdone something. I am not going to say anything but that still does not justify running down something I basically went out of my way to provide for her. I only wish I had a son or daughter either 1 that I could count on like she can with me. Oh, well, guess I will just stop trying to be so kind and keep more to myself.
Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it.
/
advice
I would definetely NOT call the mom. I would try and convince the girl to go to her parents but that is probably scary for her. The clinic is the next best bet and decision can be made from there depening on the result. YOu do not want to betray your daughter. She will be very upset and may not forgive you. I wonder what in the world was this girl thinking to even put herself in this situation. Obviously she figured the morning after pill would be the solution.
need advice
Okay, you all are probably going to think this crazy, but I need some advice and input on a situation.  There is a new guy at my church who has flirted with me, sometimes in the presence of my husband.  I'm not sure if my husband has said something to him or maybe had someone else say something, but recently, he has gotten to where he will not speak to me at church if there is anyone around.  As long as there is no one around, he speaks but doesn't attempt to hug or flirt like he did at one time.  He does call me chick and things of that nature (of course, when no one is around), but I'm totally confused on what is going on with him.  Yes, I'm married, but my husband has treated my girls and myself like we're nothing the past couple of years and has been verbally abusive, and we've only stayed because everytime I try to leave he gets in the doorway and will not let us go - and he's a big man!!  I would appreciate any advice.
advice
First of all MT student, this is no drama story.  I think I sent out the wrong message here.  I'm not wanting to leave my husband because "church guy" is flirting with me.  My husband has been very dishonest the past couple of years about money situations, taxes, etc. plus the verbal abuse and just being a reall jack a**.  I can see where you all are coming from with "church guy" though.  I guess I hadn't thought about how he really is because I was too caught up in the fact that he was flirting with me even though I'm married.  Thanks for your replys and advice.
thank you for the advice .... nm

need advice...

I need advice on something.  Does anyone have/had teenage daughters?  I have a niece that is 15.  Won't be 16 until end of December.  I have heard recently through my son and mutual friends of theirs that she has been sexually active for quite some time.  She has also been drinking when she is away for overnighters with friends.  Do I talk to my sister about this in case she isn't aware of it?  My friend tells me I should stay out of it and say nothing.  Part of me does not agree with that.  If I had a teenage daughter I would want to know.  It would be bothersome to me but I'd want to know so I was sure she was being safe and obviously would not get pregnant. I don't condone any of this but they sure are going to do what they want to do and isn't it better to be safe than sorry? 


What would you do in this situation because quite honestly I'm driving myself crazy going back and forth with this issue.  It's a touchy subject with alot of people I have found out.  Some say they would not want to know.  Others say it's an invasion of privacy with my niece and she may be very angry with me afterwards.  Others say my sister could be mad because I came to her in the first place about a matter that may not be any of my business.  I have three boys so this is not my cup of tea.  I love all my nieces and treat them like my own children but this topic has hit me hard.  When I found this out on Sunday...I cried the entire night.  It's how I found out and what is being said about her that really, really bothers me. 


I appreciate any suggestions from anyone.


Thanks.


my advice
My daughters are now college age but looking back they went through the same stuff.  Girls can only be friends with one at a time.  When there is three the drama starts or the gossip etc. My daughters were the one that was usually left out.   I tried to rationalize it with them and discuss it etc and gave alternatives but the best thing I could of did was backed away and told them  to handle it themselves. My daughters were on and off again for years with the same girls for that reason.  One day so and so did not like this one, the next day my daugheter was her best friend again.  You did handle it right by reminding her that she did the same thing. 
Any advice on
a good 30-minute exercise program? Can't afford to buy anything, go to a gym or anything like that. I am 5ƍ and weight probably about 160-165 and want to get back to 120. Can't do Weight Watchers or anything that costs money! I am trying to watch what I eat, but need to start exercising and don't really know what to do other than sit-ups, jumping jacks, etc. Any advice? Would like to get back to 120 by January/February at least!
Advice from my dad:
"Marry an orphan."