Update on social worker from my post the other day (sm)

I posted the other day about where I had seen that social worker before, and couldn't find her on the cast list - wouldn't have helped if I had.  I was watching Sally Field on the Boniva commercial and it popped into my head.  Social worker was on that Boniva commercial where those 4 women were supposed to be being quiet in a museum.  Isn't it funny how the brain works?  - haha - especially mine.

• Update on social worker from my post the other day (sm) - B&B fan

The messages you are viewing are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select the boards given in left menu

No one has come by yet, but it's only Monday, but I did get the house cleaned with the help of my son, his girlfriend, and two of his friends.  I took the advice below about shuffling all my ex-husband's junk to the garage.  He has a fixer upper car in the garage anyway, so I just piled stuff around it, on top of it, and in it.  The garage is a complete mess, but we don't live in there, so whatever.  My son and his buddies cleaned up outside the house too.  We had about 10 bags of trash for the trash truck this morning, but they took every one of them.  Thank goodness!!

I'm way more calmer now than I was on Friday when all this crap broke loose.  Thanks to everyone for calming me down.  I'm ready now for when the social worker stops by.  I saw another officer over the weekend at the gas station and he asked me about my situation, asked me if my ex was ever served and then told me that he was proud of me for finally getting rid of him and that he would talk to his boss about this whole "social services thing."  He said his boss (who was the officer at my house on Friday) doesn't really know the ins and outs of the community like the officers do and he'd make sure he let him know that my ex is the one causing all the trouble.

So that made me feel better too.  I just can't believe how ugly this is getting.  I guess I'd better prepare myself because it will probably get worse before it gets better.  The divorce is just beginning.

First of all, thanks to you who took the time to respond.  I think the verification of my thoughts makes me feel better knowing that others would handle it the way I thought it should be handled.

Yesterday, my sister and I exchanged e-mails and I finally had to block her e-mail address as I couldn’t take anymore (and my work was really suffering).  Next thing I know she shows up at my door and wouldn’t leave.  I tried not answering and hid in my daughter’s room hoping she would leave.  I gave up after five or more minutes and answered the door.  Let me start off saying that this is not a normal occurrence in my family and anything like this has never happened before (except when we were kids).  We were standing at my front door having a screaming match when she reached over pulled my hair and pushed me.  I couldn’t believe it.  I put my hands up to protect myself and said “I’m calling the cops” and I did.  She left at that point.  During my 911 conversation, I realized with the business my sister is in if she has any record at all she will lose her business and I tried changing my mind and hanging up, but they wouldn’t let me.  When the officers arrived, they described it was a domestic violence call because we are family and they have to figure out what happened.  I explained to them everything and that my first instinct was to call 911, but I shouldn’t have but it was my first instinct.  She didn’t hurt me at all.  Unfortunately, there was nothing they could do.  But because I didn’t have any marks they wouldn’t arrest her, but it would be up to the prosecutor’s office.  Of course, I know how wrong it was and because of that it was the right thing to call 911.  I love her kid and don’t want him to suffer because of what a potential police record could do to her business.

I’m devastated.  You only have one family in life and mine is pretty much gone now.  My sister (and BIL) have always been the type of person who screws everyone around her.  I tried so hard to tell my husband how they are, but up until this point he didn’t understand what I meant.  She thinks I’m wrong and it is 100% our fault.  I do take blame for my husband’s actions in this whole affair and believe me he knows how upset I am because he didn’t listen to me about them.  It’s said and done, but a life lesson for all.  Think twice about storing something at someone else’s house (even family).  This was only supposed to be very temporary until my husband could finish cleaning out our garage so the quads could go in there.

I’m so glad today is a new today.

....moving the bird feeders to in front of my office window!  I just love watching them all and seeing what else comes out of the woods for some seed and suet.  Lots of red squirrels and chippy's, the occasional cute grey mouse, and I guess even deer, but I never see THEM, just the tracks and the "raisinettes" around the feeder.  Our neighbor gets tons of wild turkeys at her place, as well as racoons, flying squirrels, and skunks!  She goes through about 50 pounds of black oil sunflower seeds as well as 25 pounds of dog chow (for the skunks, racoons, and larger critters) a week!  Can you imagine?! 

My other neighbor has a wild Merlin falcon (a girl named Helln Fury), who he caught and trained himself.  Very cool bird.  Can't say I've ever seen one 'round here but I guess they do exist, you just have to know what you're lookin' at when they are up in the air. 

Love the wild critters and glad so many others on here appreciate them too!

Hi,

Thought the topic to interesting so wanted to reply. I chose my hours 6 p.m. to 2 p.m because my husband works steady 11 p to 7 a. He sleeps in the evening so thought it woud be a good time for me to work. Then when winter started, which is only noticeable by the light) I started 5 p to 1 a. Works out good for me and like it because I always have some work under my belt for the next day. Also, we get to have our days off together on Wed. and Thur. Working well so far. In summer will probably go back to 6 to 2 so I can swim.

You need either the converter box or a new TV that by law has to have digital in it.  I have a new TV and I scan the digital part of my TV.  I get maybe one station every few days, so obviously I have the capability otherwise I would not get any digital TV.  It is the reception as I live in a rural area.  I do have to get a roof top antenna.  I was wondering what type of worker does that?  When I look in the yellow pages, all it has is satellite and cable, nothing about antenna installers.  I was wondering can just a handy man that I would hire install one or do I have to get an electric contractor to do it.

She will receive social security at a rate of 50% of what he receives as long as they have been married for 10 years.  Am not sure if you can begin to collect this at age 6 or have to wait until 65 or 66.  As far as medicare goes though, she is not eligible for this until she reaches 65/66 unless she is deemed disabled and not able to work and then she goes on SSI.   Up to 3 wives-ex-wives can receive 50% of what the husband's social security allotment is without reduction but it never reduces the husband's amount. (as long as they have been married for 10 years).   They did this so that all of the older ladies that never worked in the 40's 50's etc. could receive something when they retired as long as their husband was eligible.  Now if he should die, she will receive more and that will stay in effect until she dies.   With as expensive as Medicare and supplements are becoming it is no longer a deal to get Medicare and hardly any docs will take Medicare "only". 

Patti

The main thing I'd say is to remain calm and explain to the investigator like you did here.  Their job is to sort out the truth from the fiction.  I was investigated once because my MTSO made false accusations about me to the police. 

I had to answer questions I didn't enjoy but when the interview was over the investigator was done she told me she believed me and I had nothing to worry about, but if the accuser made another call they'd file harassment charges against me. 

The truth is the truth and they'll sort it out.  Patience will serve you well. 

freaking out!  My estranged husband, on whom I have a restraining order, showed up at my house today, obviously he had been drinking.  Long story short, one of my son's friends shows up, one that is not allowed at the house.  I immediately sent the teenager away, but my husband proceeds to start raging about how he would run things if he were still living here.  I then told him he could leave as well.  That I kicked the teenager and I expected him to leave too.  He refused and said he would leave if I gave him money because he needs to contribute groceries to his buddy with whom he is staying.  He doesn't work and hasn't worked for much of our marriage.  I told him if he wanted to help out his buddy, he should get a job.  He came into the house, sat down on my couch and refused to leave until I gave him money. 

My son called the police to enforce the restraining order.  The police show up and while he is in their custody, he tells them that I have 10 to 14 teenagers in my house every day and that he doesn't feel that it is a good environment for our 8yo daughter.  He tells there was marijuana in my house. 

So now the police are telling me they have to file a report with family services because my house could be a hostile environment and they have to follow up on every complaint.  The marijuana episode did happen; however, my daughter and I were not at home.  My husband was still living at home at the time and caught my son and a couple of friends smoking it and instead of stopping them immediately and kicking everybody out, I was told that he took a hit off the joint.  I was told that by all three kids whom I questioned separately.  When I confronted my soon to be ex about this, his explanation was that he didn't take a hit, he put it up to his mouth and nose to smell to see if it really was pot.  Still he did not put up fuss, punish our son, or kick anybody.  Instead I find out about the pot from the sister of one of my son's girlfriend who told me because she was worried about her sister and she was the one who originally told me my husband took a hit.

Now, because my husband is angry that I have kicked him out and am filing for divorce, he is telling these lies and half truths to the cops and now I have to worry about getting visited from social services.  I've been crying all evening and I'm wondering what I should expect.  I have to clean my house from top to bottom, make sure this sucker shines and I guess not let my son have any friends over ever again!

I am so upset!  I absolutely hate my ex-husband.  I live in a rat hole as it because he has refused to work and he has junked up with all the crap he refuses to throw away.  The man won't even through away magazines.  I have stacks and stacks of magazines and newspapers that every time I've tried to throw out or recycle, he picked them out of the bins and brought them back into the house.  Now I'm faced with this mountain of crap that I have deal with immediately before I get visited by the social worker. 

I'm sorry to go on and on.  I'm just so overwhelmed and stressed and I just want to curl up in a little ball and die.  My kids are my life.  I don't beat them, I feed them, I clothe them, I play with them, and have fun with them.  They are the reason I work, the reason I breathe.  The idea of having someone come into my home and question my fitness as a mother makes my physically ill.

You guys, thank you for continually listening to my saga.  You guys gave me the strength to kick him out to begin with.

My SIL has worked exactly 3 (count them) 3 months in her entire lazy life.  They took bankruptcy a couple of years ago, of course she wasn't going to go to work and help out then because she said "it's not my fault we are in this mess."  Now my brother is coming up to within 10 years of retirement and actually has problems with arthritis that may cause him to have to retire sooner.  She insists that she should be given a social security check when she "retires" and that she should be eligible for medicare when my brother retires.  She is several years younger than him and I tried to tell her she will have to get out and get private insurance for herself until she is of age.  She insists the government "owes this to her".  I would like to string her up to the highest tree, but I am told that is illegal also. 

Am I crazy?  She certainly can't be put on Medicare just because her husband is eligible can she? 

I think she just figures she will either live on his SS benefits or kill him off with the side jobs in addition to his FT job he has been trying to do to keep her in the style she wants to become accustomed and then be eligible for widow's benefits. 

I guess I really don't understand the SS and Medicare issues, just hoping someone could shed some light on this. 

She simply REFUSES to work regardless of how much they have needed the money and/or benefits.  Can't watch your soaps if you work all day and that is very important to her.  GRRRR.  Sorry to vent.  Will go mind my own business now.