Update, might not have been the tubal

• Itchy bumps on palms of hands? - ItchyMT
  • I have had that for years. Eczema. sm - They said what
    • Say a tubal ligation got rid of your eczema, wanna know how I got rid of mine? - Linda
      • Update, might not have been the tubal - Linda
  • yes --sm - me2
    • thank you for your response but in reasearching - ItchyMT
      • My doc prescribed Elocon cream - annabanana
        • Funny you mentioned tocopheryl acetate - ItchyMT
          • Try Cetaphil. They make body wash too. nm - They said what
          • Also avoid products with lanolin - annabanana
    • can't believe this - now lauren
      • response -- sm - me2
      • btw - now lauren

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the delivery of our third child.  My husband and I had discussed it and he didn't want to undergo the vas.  He is deathly afraid of needles.  After going through childbirth 3 times, I was kind of used to it.  I honestly don't remember a single bit of pain following the tubal.  I had it done laparoscopically and I was already on "light duty" because of the delivery.  I was discharged the day after the tubal.  I had a 5-yo and a 2-yo at home plus the newborn.  My husband was able to take a week off to help me out, but he would have done that regardless of the tubal. 

As for cost, my insurance covered either.  I would suggest that your husband wait until after the birth of this child to have the vasectomy, the reason being that you may end up needing a C-section (though I hope not) and they can do the tubal then if you've already discussed it with your OB. 

Good luck and congratulations on your pregnancy!  I hope your "surprise" brings you as much joy as mine does!  We hadn't planned on our third one either, but I can't imagine life without him!

i had a c-section with my second baby and while he was in there i told him to do a tubal. he cut and cauterized my tubes.  i haven't had any problems since, that's been almost 6 years ago.  when i'm ovulating, i do have some pain on my left.  i don't know if that's due to the tubal, but i don't regret getting it done.  good luck!

Okay, I am about 8-10 weeks pregnant.  My husband and I definitely don't want more children after this one.  We weren't even trying for this one actually.  We talked briefly about our options.  Every thing that I have read leads me to wanting him to have a vasectomy.  It is cheaper, less invasive, done under local anesthetic, and recovery is within 48 hours.  Tubals are more expensive, requires an abdominal incision done under general anesthetic, and a weeks worth of recovery.  However, I don't know that my husband is really wanting to go with the snip snip himself.  I'm hoping the cost alone will talk him into getting it done versus me as it is 3-4 times cheaper than a tubal.

Does anyone else have any helpful tips on this?  I wouldn't mind having the tubal but I really don't think being unable to lift things and having light activity for a week will really go well with a 5 y/o and a newborn to take care of.  Plus...there are more risks with a tubal than there are a vasectomy.  So any additional tips on this subject to try and convince my husband into undergoing the ole snip snip would be much appreciated.  Thanks!

What I found scariest is the way doctors commonly try to blow off your symptoms - blame formerly being on the pill as being why it was never this bad before, or just act like you're being a big baby.  Many women on those forums saying "thank god I read this - now I know I'm not crazy".  I went to several doctors (male and female)about the pain and not ONE of them said it could be related to my tubal.  They don't want to admit these side effects are common, and they don't want to admit they don't know what to do about it.  They want us to just shut up and deal with it.  Its shameful the way they sweep this under the rug, and the only way you find out its common is word of mouth. No such thing as "informed consent" when it comes to tubals!  We need to spread the word!  Like call Oprah or something!

Very many people find there are side effects to a tubal.  My worst problem since having one is horrible, debilitating cramps.  Every.single.month!  Sometimes they get so bad I can't work at all, and I have to baby myself during that time every month as the least amount of physical activity brings 'em on.  I have been to numerous docs (who act as if I'm exaggerating the pain), had numerous prescriptions - they finally put me on a strong psychotropic drug (where you still feel the pain but you're so stoned you don't really care).

I had never heard of PTLS prior to my tubal and had no idea what I was in for.  Docs don't give full disclosure, IMO, as to the risks.  Please look into the numerous websites on it - the testimonials of people who all have identical symptoms should be enough.  This can mess you up until menopause - and its completely unfair to take on a sentence of pain vs some guy's ego!

Well, I just checked my account again and the $2420 is back in the account due to non-sufficient funds.  There is, however, a $34 non-sufficient funds fee that will be refunded back to me after the dispute is over.  I know that in the big picture of things this does not sound like a lot of money, but it's my money I worked for and intend to get back.  I also called the bank back and made sure that PayPal could not try to take out the money again since it was reversed due to NSF.  After the dispute and we know more information, I can totally freeze PayPal from ever taking any money out of my account again.  Right now it can only be done for the exact amount they tried to take out yesterday.  I also told PayPal to take every bit of information they had on me out of their system, that I would never be needing their services again. 

The scammers just didn't count on me being a poor working girl with little money left at the end of the month.  Maybe they should give working a try instead of trying to steal other people's hard-earned money. 

Thank you all for your replies.  This just makes me all the more aware of what I am doing on-line.  I have bought many items on-line, and this is the first time anything like this has happened to me.  If they hadn't been so greedy, I probably would have had to wait out the whole ten days. 

At least the police know about the situation. Maybe they can have a talk with the owners when they return.

If you know anyone who doesn't live in your neighborhood who would like to have a sheltie - you know, if it were me, I would give it to them. The neighbors have been gone so long, if the dog disappears one night, who is to say what happened, right? They don't deserve to have a dog if they are going to treat it this way.

JMHO

Hi Trose,

Glad you called your brother and went to your doc today....ERs on the wknd are rough.  Hope you get feeling better soon.   Keep us all updated.   Cat  

Well, I had a heart to heart with my daughter yesterday.  I broke down in tears and just told her how disappointed I was in her decision to become sexually active and how my heart was broken for her.  She cried and said she didn't want to do it again, so I hope she was being honest with me.  I found out more disturbing information on her loser boyfriend having to do with some legal trouble he's been in.  We are giving her a chance to break up with him (she doesn't know that we know about the probation, arrests, etc.), but if she doesn't, we may press charges against him, just to get rid of the loser. 

Backtracking a bit, our son works for the sheriff's department, along with a lot of his buddies, who did some checking on this guy, and dug up a laundry list of trouble he's been in.  Our son is talking to our daughter today, telling her what he knows, and giving her til tonight to break it off completely with this guy, or he's telling her he'll file charges himself against this boy.  He's already checked it all out and there are things we can get him on, but we really, REALLY don't want to go this route.  It would be so hard on our daughter.  I just want the boyfriend to disappear, go away, and leave her alone.  So now, it's not so much about s-e-x anymore, but about her getting herself into some legal trouble by association with this idiot. 

AND...his mother told my DD's best friend and my DD that she would LIE TO US about the whole situation if need be.  How can a mother allow a girl to hang out with her loser, ex-con son??? It is beyond me...if it were my son, I'd tell the girl to run, not walk, away from him, he's nothing but trouble. 

Anyway, thanks y'all so much for the support and advice.  I think I handled it ok.  I think she was shocked and surprised at how upset I was.  I just admitted to her that I didn't expect this so soon, that I really didn't know how to handle it, and that I was disappointed in her actions, BUT that her father and I both love her very, very much and we will always be here for her, no matter what happens. 

It was really emotional, but good I think for the both of us.  Her 2 best friends came in in the middle of it all, and they too spilled their guts to her, so that helped also. We all cried and laughed, and talked.  BTW, I don't mention her father much, but he's here...we're married and living together...all 3 of my kids have the same father.  We've been married over 20 years now.  He's mad, upset, disappointed, and just chomping at the bit to get his hands around this kid's throat, of course...that's how men handle things, right? But overall, he's been great. 

Thanks again, y'all!

Hi Deb,

I'll check in with his mom's web page to see what kinda hats he prefers (baseball caps, knit caps, perhaps something felt, really funky like they wear at ski resorts, doo rags or those little wrap caps with flames that bikers sport) and what states he's already gotten hats from....Don't want to duplicate or bore him.    Cat    

Once again I thank all of you for your responses.  We (DH and I, with son) went to the therapist today.  We did not tell our son about the appointment.  We just checked him out of school. I really thought there would be a lot of drama but he went very willingly.  My biggest fear after reading the post on his myspace was suicide.  I myself have a history of deep depression and at 18 tried to commit suicide.  Anyway, I liked the therapist immediately. 

After a bit of discussion with my son he asked me why I thought he needed to be here.  I told him about what I read on myspace but since making the appointment I found out a few other things.  I talked with each of his 3 closest friends separatley and they all told me very similar things.  My son is 5Ǝ and weighs about 125lbs.  In my opinion this kid is an incredibly healthy eater for the most part, but take him to a Chinese buffet and he eats 2 to 4 plates full.  Same thing with lasagna, he can't get enough.  He has never said a word to us when we are together as a family about eating too much, but when he is with his friends eating out, which is at least once a week or more, he always talks about how fat he is and even sometimes says oh I ate so much I have to go throw up now.  They also talked about his moodiness but just sort of thought, we all go through those days, which I agree.

When I told this to the therapist in front of my son he kept saying it was a joke.  Well, 2 of his friends are very overweight.  I asked him how he could joke about this in front of them.  He just kept saying, just like about the myspace post, it is just a joke.  Obviously there is more going on here. 

He then talked with the therapist alone for about 30 minutes.  We took him to lunch afterwards and I asked him if there was anything he wanted to talk about and he shrugged his shoulders and acted like what in particular should we talk about, so I let it drop.  We took him back to school and he did tell me he loved me before he got out of the car (I said it first and it is something we say in our family all the time).  After school he seemed fine but only had a few minutes because he had to get to tennis. 

I think possibly I over reacted to the threat of suicide, but I am now afraid of an eating disorder.  His bedroom and bathroom are in the basement so if he is thowing up I am definitely not aware of it. 

Yes I will definitely be more aware of his actions after we eat together and it really sucks that I have no idea what he and the therapist talked about, but I do feel better for having followed through with the appointment.  We go back in about 10 days so I feel the doc does not think he is about to harm himself.  As a matter of fact he told my son in front of us that everything they discussed he could not tell me unless he thought there was a possibility of him harming himself. 

Gosh guys, this is soooo long again.  If I didn't have you I don't know who I would talk to.  Thanks!

I just talked to my daughter's teacher.  She is really nice.  I told her about the situation and that I was concerned, especially since the mom hung up on me.  She told me she kept an eye on them in class and at lunch the girls sat together, and there were no problems as far as she could see.

She felt I did the right thing by attempting to talk to the mother and also contacting her to let her know what was going on.  She seemed to think that the "friend" has a problem sharing my daughter with the other girls and that she is a one friend type of girl. 

The teacher said she won't contact the "friend's" mom at this time because it could escalate things and I agreed with that. 

The "friend" may be going to another school next year (they're currently in private school).  She also said she was going to make a note that they not be in the same class next year in case she comes back next year.

I'm definitely happy about that!

Some of you may recall a few weeks ago when I posted about getting into a verbal altercation with the mother of a child on the opposing team.  I just wanted to give those of you who commented an update.  We played that team again yesterday and the mother was there standing where I normally stand.  I chose this time to stand on the opposite side of the field, even though my view was a little obstructed.  I said nothing to her the entire game and didn't even look her way when I passed her on my way to the concession stand.  I took your advice and kept my mouth shut.  We lost the game, but that's okay because I had the chance firsthand to see the embarrassment a child suffers when parents get out of control

Earlier this week, it was team picture night.  The mother of the child on the opposing team was there, as was her husband who is one of the assistant coaches for their team.  He made a nasty comment about the manager of his own team (using 4-letter words in front of the team) because the manager didn't realize he would be in the team pictures (he just thought they were individual) and the manager of his team "fired" him from his assistant coaching position.  So instead of just his mom standing in my usual spot, his dad was there, too.  I can only imagine the embarrassment their child must have felt because his dad was not on the field. 

I know now that my actions could have caused me to be suspended from even watching a game or 2.  I wouldn't want to hurt my kids like that.  So thanks to all for your good advice.  I have spent the last several weeks videotaping my kids rather than worrying about who's winning and who's losing. 

i took my car to my mechanic today and he said it's a bad sensor on one of my tires and that sensor is also making my abs light come.  it's going to cost $300 to get that fixed.  it's something that is not dangerous, but it is annoying.  just thought i'd pass this along in case any of ya's come across this problem.

After discussing the subject with my husband and coming up with the right words to say, I have spoken with my MIL and there will be NO MORE 4-wheeler rides.  What a relief!  And talking to her about it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  I just hope she sticks to it.  I told her I would bring the stroller along from now on, and she can my daughter around the yard in that instead.  I feel much better for now, but I'm sure there will be more battles like this in the future.  I will just have to remind her that I am the mother, and when it comes to my daughter, it's my way or no way.  :)

Well, 4 hours was probably too harsh to expect an 8-year-old to sit on a chair.  He sat for about 1/2 hour.  Then I went out and talked to him.  My husband is not physical in any way.  He has never laid a finger on me and he rarely even argues back with me.  If anything, I'm the one with the temper.  However, I don't walk around smacking my kids or anything like that.  I've always tried to remain calm when correcting my kids, but lately, this kid really pushes my buttons.  We have spanked our kids when younger, nothing more than a tap or 2 on the bottom.  It probably hurt their pride more anything.  However, we've come to the realization that spankings just don't work, especially as they get older.  My other 2 kids don't have this problem with controlling their tempers.

I seriously think he just is impulsive.  He's always been that way.  I basically told him that we all have to be in control of our own bodies and that sometimes it's hard to control, but we have to learn how.  I also told him that I know that he knows how because he does it in school.  He's never been in any real trouble at school.  I also told him that I loved him but that his behavior upsets the whole house.  He has to learn to get in control of it and to get used to people telling him what to do.  He resists authority; he likes to think he's in charge.  In the end, I left him off the chair after about 40 minutes total and gave him a hug.  I told him I loved him and asked him to apologize to his brother, which he did.  He's been fine ever since and that was 2 hours ago.  I know it's never over, but at least this one is.

Thanks for the support.