Update after doctor visit/youth council.
Posted By: Completely stressed. on 2007-12-11
In Reply to:
The doctor wants to try the Respirdal for another month and see if he gets any better, if the auditory hallucinations stop, etc. My son also gained 3 pounds in the last month. I'm not super worried about him gaining too much weight as he is an active kid but just one more thing to watch.
The youth council came up with my son's "punishment" for the theft, running away, fighting, etc. He has to write a paper. Not even a paper. He has to write 5 things that he likes about himself and 5 things he can do to improve his world. That's it. Oh wait, they also told him that he has to feed our pets without me reminding him. I've had it with the legal system. I'm making him do my own community service. They are talking this kid to death and basically teaching him that if he doesn't behave, they'll keep talking to him.
I'm at my breaking point with all the mental issues, but seriously...where is the punishment for kids. It's like the legal system over does it or doesn't do it at all. I need a nap now.
Thank you to everyone who e-mailed with concern for us. I really appreciate that there are so many strangers out there who care enough to reach out.
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DOCTOR VISIT
Where is one you will not believe: My sister has emphysema. She went to a pulmonary specialist. He sent her for a bunch of tests. On her next visit to him, he tells her she has 1-2 years to live or less. She started crying. He said "Are you crying?" She just looked at him. He said "Why are you crying?"
Well, you can imagine how upset we have been over the last 3 months. It was hard for me to even talk to her, as we cried the whole time. I would try to comfort her, but I needed comforting too, as she is the only relative I have left other than my immediate family.
She called me last night and said "I AM NOT DYING." It seems the tests were all mixed up from the hospital where she had them done. I told her we should sue them for all they have put us through. I cannot believe they did this. You just have no ideal what we have been through. You can imagine what my sister and her husband have been through. I am so glad she called me immediately and told me.
Just an update on my Social Worker visit.
No one has come by yet, but it's only Monday, but I did get the house cleaned with the help of my son, his girlfriend, and two of his friends. I took the advice below about shuffling all my ex-husband's junk to the garage. He has a fixer upper car in the garage anyway, so I just piled stuff around it, on top of it, and in it. The garage is a complete mess, but we don't live in there, so whatever. My son and his buddies cleaned up outside the house too. We had about 10 bags of trash for the trash truck this morning, but they took every one of them. Thank goodness!!
I'm way more calmer now than I was on Friday when all this crap broke loose. Thanks to everyone for calming me down. I'm ready now for when the social worker stops by. I saw another officer over the weekend at the gas station and he asked me about my situation, asked me if my ex was ever served and then told me that he was proud of me for finally getting rid of him and that he would talk to his boss about this whole "social services thing." He said his boss (who was the officer at my house on Friday) doesn't really know the ins and outs of the community like the officers do and he'd make sure he let him know that my ex is the one causing all the trouble.
So that made me feel better too. I just can't believe how ugly this is getting. I guess I'd better prepare myself because it will probably get worse before it gets better. The divorce is just beginning.
Update - doctor bill for missed appt
Here is the latest scoop - and thanks everyone for all the support.
I called today and spoke with the office manager, who seemed very nice and truly seemed embarrassed by the whole thing. She told me that the doctor himself had wanted those letters sent out, and that they are not for patients who missed scheduled appointments at all, which is what I thought it might be (even though I cancelled the appointment at least a week prior to when it was scheduled). He is charging us for making the appointment and cancelling it!!! Yes, I am serious. She apologized, said her hands were tied and that she had butted heads with him over this, but he would not budge. He told her to tell the patients that they could either pay the $100 or he would turn them over to his attorney. Again, I am serious. Talk about a jaw dropper. She also said that I was not the only patient to be complaining. Apparently other folks are as upset at this as I am.
I told her that I understood she was in a tough position, and I do. It is not her fault this doctor is an a double s. I told her to go ahead and tell him to contact his attorney if he felt he had to, but that I would be filing complaints with the BBB and the Kentucky Med. Licensing folks.
I contacted the BBB, filed a complaint promptly with them, and also talked to the Kentucky Attorney General's office, who are sending me a complaint form. Tomorrow I will call the Med. Licensing Board, as well as my insurance company, just to put them on alert.
I hate the thought of this quack getting even one person to pay this ridiculous price. A patient should not be punished for cancelling an appointment. I just can't even begin to express how sick this makes me, and hopping mad. Not that I think I am smarter than everyone else, but you all know that doing the work we do kinda takes the "godness" out of the way we look at doctors. I know that people are going to pay him when they are threatened with his attorney, and that is just wrong.
Anyhow, thanks for letting me vent and I will keep you updated.
HC
BTW, we did have a discussion with the youth about
what they thought he!! would be like. My hubby and I also included our pastor just in case they had questions we didn't feel qualified to answer. Boy did we ever get some wonderful answers. I myself always imagine fire and unbearable heat. One suggested being all alone in a small dark place for eternity. One suggested that if you had an intense fear, for example spiders, you would spend eternity in a room full of them with them crawling all over your body. I think God wants us to use our imagination when we think of different things, after all he gave us the imagination to use.
How much do you tell your kids about your youth?
This question has come up a lot more lately now that my DD is 15. DS is 17. I was a bit of a "wild child" in my youth. Nothing compared to some of todays youth but I definitely did things I am not proud of. Yesterday at lunch with my DH entire family the conversation turned to when I had to choose between getting a car or going "away" to college. My said that he knew I got a car within a year of turning 16 what happened to it. I simply said I got in trouble and my father sold it. There has been a lot of stuff on the internet as well as on the Ellen show about the "meanest mother in the world" selling her son's car when she found alochol in it. Well, my father did that exact thing to me in 1984. I did quite a few other things that I really don't want to tell my kids about but I don't want to lie. I don't ever want to hear "Well Mom, you did these things and you turned out okay." I'm just not sure exactly how to respond to certain questions. Anyone have suggestions on how to handle this?
Youth Group Name
My DH is a youth pastor, our Youth Group at the beach was called WAVES, which stood for Worship Active Voices Exclaiming Salvation. We moved up to the mtns of our state, and he had coined the name for our Youth Group as EXCITE, which stands for Exalting Christ in Today's Environment!!. We are still looking for a home church since we moved in Jan 2007. My DH is getting very disheartened... Good luck to your Youth Group. Oh, by the way, if you live anywhere close to Myrtle Beach, SC then consider taking your youth next year to the Big God Conference on New Year's eve/day. It is AWESOME!!
They have recruited thousands of Mexican youth
nm
Ideas for Youth Group Names
I'm teaching a small youth group at our church and I'm trying to come up with a good name for them besides "(Insert church names here) Youth Group". Also, our Baptist Association has an association-wide youth group and I'm trying to come up with some ideas for them too.
(I know this is church-related but I was hoping I'd get more ideas if I put it on the Gab Board)
TIA!!
With youth comes minimal life experience, minimal
x
I am going to visit my mom...
I work Wed-Sun, so I will be off tomorrow. So, my daughter is going to take me to visit my mom who lives approx.2 hours away. I am really looking forward to my visit. She is a beautiful lady. She has Alzheimer's plus some other things going on, but when she is here mentally, I enjoy every moment, down to the twinkle in her eye.
No free visit.
It was $75 to adopt her because they can't find a spay scar. I got a $10 certificate towards a rabies vaccination and $40 toward a spay.
I finally got her to eat some catfood, I know not the best thing in the world for her but I just wanted her to eat anything at this point.
I think she might be puking too from all the hair she's chewing off herself. I don't know how she's doing that. The bottom front teeth are broken down to the gum line and her top teeth are broken at different levels and she's missing one completely.
Hopefully whatever is going on is easily treatable.
C'mon visit us in NC
Hayseed, we've got daffodils, crocus, phlox, forsythia, tulip trees, Bradford pear trees blooming. The rest of the trees are budding. We're about 2 weeks from green. :-)
Come visit anytime you want!
visit to the other side
I was at a bridge and on the other side I saw people sitting on lush lawn and playing in the water, lots of laughter, etc. I was met by a spirit who said (telepathically) that I had things to do before I came in but that it was totally my decision to stay or return. I chose to return. That evening I told my doctor the whole story, from the moment the nurse told him I had passed to what they did to my body next and my experience on the other side. Needless to say, he was speechless. This was in 1964 and none of these experiences had been published yet.
Definitely a podiatrist visit
I had to take my daughter a few months ago and she had a severe case of athlete's foot. Her feet always stunk and then she complained that they hurt and they were peeling and cracking like crazy. The podiatrist said it would take months to clear up. Feet are nothing to fool around with. I'd definitely make an appointment.
visit letssaythanks.com
And send someone in the military a personalized free printed postcard. This would be totally cool if a bunch of us did this. Let's shower them with these very cute cards.
Tell your sister she can come visit, and tell him to
You can always get another spouse, but you can't get another sister.
Actually, the first visit was 4 hours.
The next two were 2 hours each, if that matters.
Well he doesn't even want to go visit his dad at all (sm)
asks me not to make him go. But he says he loves where we moved and part of the time he seems much happier. I think he just thought that when we moved there would be no rules. I will look into some counseling for him though. thanks
Like the Oriental rug one. Do you visit
aa
I would tell them not to visit unannounced any longer.
:)
One hint - when a dog lover can't visit or
travel places that others think are fun - its because the person doesn't want to do it! Best excuse in the world.... I know...
I pick at them until they come off. Cheaper than a dr visit
nm
DH and I went visit stepdaughter in Naples, Fl.
xx
Visit from polar bear
Interspecies play. Click link below.
So cute!! You must visit this site...
http://icanhascheezburger.com/
There's a clever caption for that picture of yours there, I just know it... :-D
I had my postoperative visit today.
the surgeon said that I am doing very well. My first band fill is in two weeks.
I have absolutely no regrets!!
One day our pastor stopped by for a visit
and my son, who was 5 then, was talking to him. The pastor asked my son what time his bedtime was and he replied, "it's s'posed to be 9 o'clock, but mommy says we piss 'round till 10." I almost died of embarrassment. Unfortunately, pissin' is a word I use quite often and never realized how much kids picked up on it. Thankfully, the pastor laughed and said he understood completely as he grew up on a farm and there was a lot of that going on there.
Appreciate your feedback, if you visit the site.
//
Ahh, that's why I don't visit political board.
aa
a 4-hour visit? i don't think i could tolerate something like that
:)
Want to tell you about my Salt Lake visit
as you said your MIL there. I visited there and that was the best smelling city I think I have ever been in. I wrote email to the chamber of commerce there stating that. Have no idea where the sweet smell from but wonderful smell walking on the steets there.
Having your children visit at work does not just go along
with a small town setting. I lived and worked in Atlanta and the hospital I was at did not want family members to visit at any time, kids, mothers, aunts. Being small town has nothing to do with this practice and I think it makes sense myself.
your husband should tell his father to visit
only when he (your husband) is home.
grrr the dr's office should not be telling her about your visit
I had the same thing happen. I went to the ER and asked to be a "no info" patient and do not let anyone know I was there including my husband who was a staff member. 30 min they showed my husband to my room!!!!!!!!!
Honestly this HIPPA stuff just goes out the window when your spouse or relative works at the hosptial.
I would speak to the office manager and physician about their breach on confidentiality.
Just do not list anyone for emergency contact information.
I'm a single mom and I have friends # listed on his car seat, in my wallet and at the hosptial record who could pick up my son if I had to have surgery or worse. My family isn't here for me now they are the last people I want around me if something really bad happened.
I visit a market with the organic food
but knowing the problem with the connection with chicken and the bad feed, was asking DH tonight about the chicken purchase when he showed me the signs, all natural, no addictives, no hormones, etc. This is a wonderful world market in Decatur, Georgia and they have everything. I love seeing all those things that I never eat and would not know how to prepare from other countries, noticed the Chinese okra tonight and it was huge, always a treat just to look as we shop.
You looking to visit, vacation, or possibly move there? nm
s
OMG! - she is hilarious. Let me know when she shows up - would love to visit with her also!!
x
A local nursing home might appreciate a visit.
xx
Best places to visit on the East coast
In June, my husband and I will be attending the HD Bike Week in Laconia, New Hampshire. If you had to name just two or three places that everyone should see on the East coast {Washington, DC, Maryland, Virginia, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, etc. down to North Carolina} what would they be? We will be visiting Maine - that is already on the agenda. We plan to visit Arlington National Cemetary and the Capitol. We have been on the Freedom Walk in Boston.
We have not determined how much time we will be spending on the East coast. Please just name the places you think we should visit if time wasn't a concern.
Thank you very much for your time, assistance, and input. I appreciate this very much!
Any chance you could visit family or a friend...
for a few days when he leaves the dogs? Or simply tell DH that you will only take care of your guys? Let hubby experience what a job it is. I have a cat and a large black lab and those two alone can keep me pretty busy. Can't even imagine what you go through on a daily basis, let alone when you have extras. I believe in karma, and you have a giant reward coming your way one of these days, as do many of you other kind-hearted posters.
And vice versa, just because the kids do not visit
does not mean their parents tried any and everything to raise them properly and then the kids turned out rotten. Works both ways.
Visit the station rather than call the cops...
Don't call the police. Rather, go to the police station and ask to speak to a detective. (You can call and make an appointment if you don't feel like spending an hour or so in the waiting room.)
You absolutely must get the law involved. You heard this kid threaten to kill his mother. Obviously, his mother is intimidated by him as well.
You can "file" reports without them showing up on the public blotter. By filing reports and keeping the detective involved, you just may be saving your neighbor's life. The cops will surveil the neighborhood on a regular basis and even keep an eye on him. (He's probably getting into no good elsewhere too.)
Also, you and your family could possibly be in mortal danger from this whacko kid as well.
From what he's said and done so far, you can expect this to escalate far beyond your wildest dreams/nightmares. He's not going to give up until you and your family are gone...one way or the other.
Think about it for a bit, but be sure to act quickly.
When I was younger, there was a similar episode with a neighborhood bully where the parents had no control. A bunch of the bully's neighbors ended up taking his parents to court on what I think was a 'show cause' complaint. The nonsense stopped after the court appearances.
However, times are more violent now, and within the past decade or so, these bully types have been blowing away people in alarming numbers. So, don't put your family at risk.
Good luck.
I like Cat's idea. Or make your visit short by showing up only
s
I just found out that social services will be paying me a visit and I am
freaking out! My estranged husband, on whom I have a restraining order, showed up at my house today, obviously he had been drinking. Long story short, one of my son's friends shows up, one that is not allowed at the house. I immediately sent the teenager away, but my husband proceeds to start raging about how he would run things if he were still living here. I then told him he could leave as well. That I kicked the teenager and I expected him to leave too. He refused and said he would leave if I gave him money because he needs to contribute groceries to his buddy with whom he is staying. He doesn't work and hasn't worked for much of our marriage. I told him if he wanted to help out his buddy, he should get a job. He came into the house, sat down on my couch and refused to leave until I gave him money.
My son called the police to enforce the restraining order. The police show up and while he is in their custody, he tells them that I have 10 to 14 teenagers in my house every day and that he doesn't feel that it is a good environment for our 8yo daughter. He tells there was marijuana in my house.
So now the police are telling me they have to file a report with family services because my house could be a hostile environment and they have to follow up on every complaint. The marijuana episode did happen; however, my daughter and I were not at home. My husband was still living at home at the time and caught my son and a couple of friends smoking it and instead of stopping them immediately and kicking everybody out, I was told that he took a hit off the joint. I was told that by all three kids whom I questioned separately. When I confronted my soon to be ex about this, his explanation was that he didn't take a hit, he put it up to his mouth and nose to smell to see if it really was pot. Still he did not put up fuss, punish our son, or kick anybody. Instead I find out about the pot from the sister of one of my son's girlfriend who told me because she was worried about her sister and she was the one who originally told me my husband took a hit.
Now, because my husband is angry that I have kicked him out and am filing for divorce, he is telling these lies and half truths to the cops and now I have to worry about getting visited from social services. I've been crying all evening and I'm wondering what I should expect. I have to clean my house from top to bottom, make sure this sucker shines and I guess not let my son have any friends over ever again!
I am so upset! I absolutely hate my ex-husband. I live in a rat hole as it because he has refused to work and he has junked up with all the crap he refuses to throw away. The man won't even through away magazines. I have stacks and stacks of magazines and newspapers that every time I've tried to throw out or recycle, he picked them out of the bins and brought them back into the house. Now I'm faced with this mountain of crap that I have deal with immediately before I get visited by the social worker.
I'm sorry to go on and on. I'm just so overwhelmed and stressed and I just want to curl up in a little ball and die. My kids are my life. I don't beat them, I feed them, I clothe them, I play with them, and have fun with them. They are the reason I work, the reason I breathe. The idea of having someone come into my home and question my fitness as a mother makes my physically ill.
You guys, thank you for continually listening to my saga. You guys gave me the strength to kick him out to begin with.
Physician called, red flag lady back from visit and on my getting M.D. license
First of all when I called the neurologist's office this morning (this was the appointment my nephrologist had so quickly set up for me last night, himself-) the neurologist's office asked me if I could come on in then instead of waiting for my appointment at 11:30. Oh, lordy me- I just knew it was time to get my affairs in order, write that will, etc.
The physician after my saying about 2 sentences to him asked if I were a physician. The great news is the brain aneurysm is very small (see I also was goggling brain tumor before I went in, you know how some of us are) and he said it was a watch thing, no neurosurgeon would touch it at such a small size. You talk about relief. I told him I could hug his neck. I went in with such fright and that was all basically eliminated. Thanks to each and all who said they had me in their thoughts.
My doctor said NO WAY
I asked about this for my 15-year-old daughter since it's hyped to be so great. He told me unless she is sexually active and at risk for STDs, he would NOT advise it. He said it is not needed routinely unless the girl has "at risk" behavior and they are not including this in the information about the medicine because that wouldn't be "politically correct." Also, it is not to be given after age 17.
My doctor says....sm
that as long as your periods are staying regular and the way they've always been then you're not "too old" to conceive. As far as the risks go, if you do research you'll see that it's more and more common for women in their 30-40s to have babies without problems. For the Down's Syndrome risk, if you average the # of women having babies at different ages the risks are the same across the board. My OB/GYN gave us this info and we confirmed it by doing research.
See your doctor please.
It doesn't pay to put it off. Whatever it is may need rest. Hope you don't need surgery. Not at all sure if it's carpal tunnel or what, but that's the doc's job.
my doctor put me on
Prempro. Makes me happy and I sleep well.
Definitely go to the doctor
You can't tell if it's broken without x-raying it, and even if it isn't broken, sometimes injuries to tendons and ligaments can take even longer to heal than a fracture. But first you have to find out exactly what is wrong. Then your doctor can determine how it needs to be treated.
umm not a doctor - go see one...
My advice is to go see a doctor.......hope you feel better soon!
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