Understanding how you feel
Posted By: Been there on 2007-10-09
In Reply to: sm - you ladies...sm
really I am but when the diagnosis came thru on my child, that was devastating for her and me both. That was much, much worse than ever knowing the fact she had engaged in premarital sex. I did not worry about babies but having been thru all the reports on people dying right and left I was a basket case. She is now 10 plus years since and get this, another shocker for me-she tells me stopped taking her antiretrovirals some time ago as they are so poisonious for your system. She is now grown (30+) so I cannot make her decisions. That is certainly 1 I would not have made but I do not delve into her life, only here for backup.
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What are you not understanding? lol
See link: :)
http://www.answers.com/topic/scrapple
Thanks for understanding..sm
I don't really know what statement Tom Cruise had made. It was late last night when I posted about anti-depressants and I did not want to get into a big long drawn out explanation of why I felt that way. I shouldn't have to, as it is just my own opinion. But now I have explained why I feel about anti-depressants as the way I do. I don't want any arguments either. Time is way too short to bicker about things that really don't matter any. Everybody has their own opinions about things and that should be respected. Unfortunately, that does not happen much on this board.
thanks again.
my understanding
it is my understanding that a spouse can receive SS benefits off of their retired spouse, I'm not sure how much, it's not as much as the working spouse; I read "up to half", but I believe that is further reduced if the non-working spouse begins receiving benefits before full retirement age and will remain at that rate even after reaching retiement age.
as far as Medicare goes; it is available to all individuals meeting the age (and in some cases health) requirements.
thanks for your understanding
and your opinion. I am hoping you are wrong, but I am taking what you say into consideration. I think we will ultimately see a counselor because we do want it to work, but I am aware of the fact that it may not, even if we want it to...
I don't think it's wrong to want to have friends over for casual dinners and theme parties... :( or even GO out for the occasional dance! When I start a family I will not be planning on going out dancing... just thought I'd add that...
I need help understanding ...
I did not grow up wealthy, but solidly middle class. We had a city house, and a country house (10 weeks every summer) my father was a business man, my mother a teacher. In my adult life, I have been rich and I have been poor, but with a friends and family safety net, mostly in between. Not everyone is so fortunate, and I feel it is our responsibilty as citizens to help each other. Why should someone be able to have life saving surgery simply because they are wealthy, as opposed to someone with no insurance OR someone whose insurance won't pay? Why should someone in this country, who works full time, go hungry and without dental and medical care?
Please, explain it to me, I need to learn about this very self absorbed kind of thinking. I need to understand how those who claim to be on "the religious right" couldn't care less about a starving, poorly educated born child, but get all hissy about a fetus.
Please, tell me.
Sorry am not understanding
pirate in his sites- did the President go somewhere?
I am not understanding of what you are saying
The person above saying she thought we both were spoiled. I in no way am making her or anyone else pay for that, just don’t understand where you get my being spoiled has anything to do with the issues we have between us. I am far from miserable, have wonderful marriage, travel a lot, have most I strive for, just don’t have to struggle like in earlier years. I would be the first to admit spoiled but that does not play into the relationship. Cannot figure your answer out???
Wow! Unusually understanding cop! - sm
When I had only had my license for about a year, I got stopped north of L.A. for slowing down in the left-hand lane of traffic on an older fwy. that had only 2 lanes in each direction. What that dipstick didn't understand was, the offramp I was exiting on the old-style, on the left side. It also had a very sharp curved marked ཕ MPH' on it, so I had slowed from 65 to about 55 as I was easing off the fwy., and he gave me a ticket once I'd stopped at the bottom. He said I got the ticket because 'a car passed me on the right'. Only thing is, I later checked the Calif. driver's handbook, and according to that, passing on the right was legal on freeways. Of course back then I was too young & too much of a chicken to fight the ticket in court. And, I had all my friends with me that day, who usually preferred to ride with me 'cause I was a safe driver! So, of course I was mortified..........
Sometimes I'm also the only one out there who slows down in the rain, too. I don't get these guys who still try to drive 75 when there's an inch and a half of water on the roadway. I've hydroplaned in a downpour, pulling a TRAILER, no less, at only 32 mph. So I have a very healthy respect for bad weather!
Driving in the Sierras during a snowstorm can be entertaining. On interstate 80 there is usually a spot where, if you don't have 4WD and snow tires, you're required to stop and chain up. A large percentage of the drivers on that road in winter aren't going up to ski, they're on their way to Reno, often for the first time in winter. They'll stop at the checkpoint, pay some guy $10 to put their chains on, and then as soon as they've gone a short ways, and they think no one's watching them, they stop and take the chains OFF! Further up the moutain, as you're going over Donner Pass, there are often cars everywhere; on the center divide, in snowbanks on the side, etc. And of course then there are the teenagers that think 4WD = invincibility. They think the extra traction that gets them moving in the snow will also stop them faster. NOT!! What I worry about the most when I go up skiing in a storm is one of those bozos skidding into me....
It is my understanding that the owner of the --sm
property has the right to ask anyone to leave. It is their property and they do not OWE you to live there, even if you have been there all your life. If you are paying less rent than the average renter, I can see why he is doing this. You may be a good tenant, but everything, these days, comes down to dollars and cents. He may not have to do too much to "renovate," but he can get a much bigger price in rent. I really don't think you have a leg to stand on and I am sorry for your situation, but the owner can do anything they want to with their property.
Thank you for your kindness and understanding. I SM
will make a call in the next few days to find some help. I don't usually think of myself, but this has been so terribly difficult.
you mentioned innate understanding.... sm
I do believe that God instills in each of us a connection to him. I believe that this is why so many people who are constantly searching and seeking fulfillment in anything but God and his holy word are having a problem finding that peace and fulfillment that they so desparately crave.
Thanks, you are a real understanding person....nm
ss
My understanding is that both parties involved are black. nm
x
You are not understanding me. It doesn't matter how he gets the info. sm
If he works for the police department he most certainly can go into the archives or whatever you want to call it and pull up this guy's history or past. I'm telling you, they can do that. It is not a secret. Someone's police records are NOT a secret at all. Nothing like a medical record. All records are public knowledge. You can obtain them. You can obtain a rap sheet on ANYONE if they have one and you ask for one. If a business were to do a criminal background check you are given one on that person if they have a background. These records are not protected. The paper can run your history, anyone can run your criminal history and I think it's great.
It was my understanding, the checks are mailed out on Fridays, and
delivered..provided the mailing address was correct!
How much are stamps these days???
Be patient, kind, loving and understanding . . .
sounds to me like he is missing you and your mom/family life. He is probably hurting right now and needs you and for some reason he finds great comfort in being with you. My dad died 13 years ago and I loved having him around. I know your situation is different, but be the comfort he needs right now and I am sure this will end in time. He is looking for reassurance for something. Who divorced who? He is probably hurting a great deal right now even though he does have a new girlfriend. You won't regret being there for your father. Trust me.
My understanding from my attorney is that during the divorce process,
from the time I file until the time it is final, the judge can issue an order forcing him to leave until it is final and a decision is made about splitting the property.
He takes lithium for his bipolar disorder, but yesterday when he was released from jail, he went to the ER because he was apparently vomiting profusely and was found to have lithium toxicity. So now he's not taking his lithium and I'm sure he will use this as an excuse to not take it anymore.
I'm having a hard time understanding having a baby for selfish reasons...
My older sister feels the same way and doesn't want kids.
As I pointed out above, I'm being selfish by wanting my alone time and doing my own thing and not having to care for someone else.
but watching my little sister be a mother, it is one of the most SELFLESS acts I've ever seen.
So I guess I'm confused at how come you point out that it is selfish... just because you love babies doesn't make you selfish to have them. and of course it's "necessary" or we as a human race would be over ;)
I just feel like being a mother is the toughest job in the world... so I don't know how to combine selfish with that. I do see your point in a way that we want something to love, but I just look at it as being a family... I want a family. I know there are people who are content on their own... but I guess your point would be "WHY" do i want that family? I can't answer that in specific terms.
I guess it's to share the love that me and him have with a child or children some day... to expand our happiness. well i guess that is selfish. ha.
I'm glad you are such a good mom. I don't know what I'd do without mine.
How would you feel
Let me ask you, how would you feel if you were in an mva and when you arrived at the trauma center they said, sorry - we can't help you, we are closed for Thanksgiving or Christmas as the case may be. We make a choice when we get into healthcare - it's 365 days a year 24/7. Doctors, nurses, firefighters, police officers, military.. all professions that require working major holidays. Usually it's a skeletan crew that works and is on call for Stats. My feeling is, if a gaurantee job of no holidays is what one wants, then one should go into a field that doesn't require the coverage like banking or a private physicians office. Hospital medical transcription has never been Monday through Friday and never will. Think about it from the patient's point of view, after all - that is the main goal - THEIR care.
Been there - know how you feel sm
Honestly, I lost two angels before my firstborn. One at 16 weeks and the other at 12 weeks. It was excruciating and heart breaking. Now, I know I have two angels on each shoulder 24 hours a day watching over me and my family. It is comforting after a while to know that you have these angels.
God bless you and your family!
You should not feel bad at all, I don't
wrong with your response at all. My home is with my family also, but I do think of the small town in which I spent the first 20 years of my life and the wonderful times I had there, especially at the holiday time of year.
Thank you, too. I feel the same. As for
your European anology of family, you are SO right. I so admire that type of family dynamic, and don't understand fully what happened here in America. My parents were/are typical examples. They were 50's and 60's Beaver-Cleaver parents - my dad worked, my mom was a stay at home mom, though it turned out she hated it. They had the obligatory 3 kids, me being the last, and by a long shot. At any rate, they just did not foster a close family unit - we looked great on paper, but that was it. As soon as I was in my teens, my parents couldn't wait to sell the family home and take off for a retirement community, though they also weren't all that social, either. They barely paid attention to their grandkids - just the obligatory gifts and family dinners, where all was so strained and forced. They thought about themselves, really. Parents who put their happiness and interests first, while going thru the motions, though, of being that all-American upper middle class family. So, they sold everything that to me was cherished and headed south to a senior community, full of lonely seniors who chose that lifestyle. Know what I mean? They couldn't wait to get away from their grown kids and do their own thing, yet when the chips were down and their health was failing, they were stranded more or less, turning to visiting nurses and the like for care. It is odd about our society how things are turning like this and the close extended family just is a legend - like Big Foot. I have done lots of social political reading, and there are actually explanations - you are probably familiar, but it was some in governments plan, and they sure succeeded. Now all is backfiring, though. I know then I have stopped this family distancing with my own kids, thank God. My husband and I are very close with our kids, and vice versa. Many of our peers are the same, though most do not have relationships with their parents either. Maybe there is hope, eh? Nice meeting you! And though we differ, we are the same. 
I feel for you
My MIL died of cancer on Christmas Eve back in the 80s. My ex-MIL, whom I loved dearly, told me, "How wonderful. She died on the eve of the Christ child's birth. You can't ask for a more blessed event as she is definitely in the arms of the Lord."
This always stuck in my mind and made me feel a lot better. I'm not an overly religious person, but when I think of that, I get a warm and fuzzy feeling all over.
I hope everything gets better for you. Just remember that they will be going to a better place without pain, sorrow, or heartache.
I know how you feel....
I just got word that my dad had a brain aneurysm and had a stroke. Nothing but worry. Right now he seems to be doing better, which I am very thankful for. I will be thinking about you and wishing you the best.
I feel for ya, but it will get better! sm
I am at about 10 weeks now. For 2 weeks straight, I was taking a nap at 9:00 in the morning! Then I could hold off until about 1, now I can go a couple of days without taking a nap. Take it as a wonderful sign!
I had a miscarriage last pregnancy, wasn't tired and wasn't nauseous at all. This time I am so very tired and so very sick and I took both as a sign that all was going well this time and it is. Hope all goes well for you this time. Take care of yourself and take it easy!
I feel the same..
The show is fixed. I watched last seasons show, and the rivalry was there in the last episode. I will not watch it again. Sam was definitely better - and Uh? how many times has Marcel won? BTW, he could not even pronounce the Hawaiian foods properly.
I feel bad for her
She lead a rough life and I feel bad for her and her daughter, who will never know her mother or her big brother. She will forever be known as a "who's your daddy" baby because of ghouls who can't mind their own business. I hope Anna is finally at peace.
yep - sure feel the same way!!!
I, too, remember all the lyrics (or most of them).......GREAT GREAT MEMORIES!!! :) 
That is how many already feel about
abortion being legal...it got on the books and has been a black mark ever since. Scarring. What victory are you hailing? The US is considered evil by many nations because of legalized abortion being practiced here. So the affect is greater than realized. Again, whose victory?
I feel for you
My heart goes out to you. I had an anorexic daugter for fives years which started at 10. She is 18 and is cured for the time being. Anyway you are doing the right thing calling the pediatrician and seeking help. Maybe a professional can talk to your husband. Once you get this help have patience it takes a long time for any results. My advice also would not to find any treatment they offer your stepdaughter. My daughter was hospitalized 3 time, and almost died. You have only a few years to work on this. Once their 18 they are their own when it comes to seeking help. Email me any time. I will be praying for your family. . I am so glad you see the problem.
I feel the same
way. I am getting tired of seeing Lucky so happy about his baby and it's not even his. It is starting to make me sick! I love Jason. He needs to take a stand. Also, I'm really ready for everyone to know who Jerry is and get it over with!
I feel the same way-
II was looking at renting an aapartment where everything is earth friendly and energy efficient and it sounds great but they have all these rules, such as you HAVE to recycle. I do recycle but I'll be damned if I'm going to have someone telling me I have to, especially if I am paying to live there. The little kid in me says "I was gonna do it until you told me to!"
I feel for you - sm
I'm sorry a few people jumped on your case. They shouldn't presume to know your entire situation. In my opinion, you asked a specific question and didn't deserve to have people criticize you like that. I had some issues too a couple years ago - mostly medical bills. I finally got them paid off a few months ago and very slowly my credit score is coming back up. Unfortunately, you just have to be patient, but as long as you make your payments on time now, your score should slowly come back up. Hope things work out. Good luck!
we should all feel the way you do; I know I do
If he is big in stature, as well as being a bully, he may respond better to a father in the neighborhood who may get invovled with him, when he is home alone. I am a single parent and am becoming more intolerable daily with people who do not take care of their kids and try to do the right thing.
oh how I feel for you - and I only have ....sm
I only now have night sweats - and I hate it, every night I tear off what I am wearing during sleep....and that's with the a/c on.....*laughs*.....neck, upper chest area is the worst.......drenching sometimes (tho not all the time)....
thanks for the heads-up on the new HRT method(s)....
Do exactly what you said you feel like doing--sm
and then get yourself out of it (marriage). If it has been less than 2 years and he is doing this already, then he will not stop. Do not subject yourself to a lifetime of misery. You stated all the reasons for not having to stay. You will find your happiness elsewhere. Just consider this a poor choice in your early life and move on. Nothing but a speed bump. There are better men out there...somewhere. Good luck to you!!!
You can feel better.
Have you tried talking to a professional and unburdening yourself?
My parents were also distant when I was little, and I confess that now that they want to be all nice and lovey, I think it feels odd and unnatural. I appreciate their fine qualities as people, but I feel like when I was weak and needed help, they left me feeling alone. Now that I have a husband, he is the emotional support that they never were. I don't hate them or anything, but I am baffled that they want more closeness now.
No, I feel exactly the same
I read somewhere people ask if she eats, with such a small body and yes, I too noticed that huge head- you just cannot get past that head to listen to her. I turn the television each time she comes on, irritating really.
I really think you would feel much better...
if you confronted her about it. Get it off your chest, so to speak. I know it can be so hard to be what is perceived as mean-spirited or confrontational (most of us hate confrontation), but I promise you that you will get a lot out of it if you go to her and tell her that it's so unfortunate that she didn't value your friendship and used you that way. Make sure to rise above it emotionally by letting her know that she threw away the best possible friend she could have ever had. She's the loser in this, not you.
I feel bad for you
that you have to insult people. you are not being forced to read this board. Like the OP said we do put names on our post. If you have nothing better to do than to look for posts like these and put people down,it does not say much for you as a person. Try to have a nice day :)
I know how you feel!
Today has been a nice break, since it's 88 and somewhere around 40% humidity. It's hoooomidity that gets to ya! I've had more folks tell me that I don't know what heat is like, because I'm from the north. But Philadelphia sits right next to a big bay and the ocean isn't that far away. We usually have humidity pumping over us all summer long. It just zaps the energy right out of you, doesn't it?
I have a friend who married a guy from central Texas. For the first 12 years of their marriage they lived down there, and when I'd visit and it was 100 degrees there, everyone would ask how I was making out in their heat. "Fine!" I'd say. It wasn't a springtime romp, but without the big wet humidity blanket, it was tolerable. They didn't believe me, and my friend told me to leave it alone, "They just don't believe that Philly gets hot." Well, they moved up her two years ago, and all summer long, her husband tells me, "You people were so right! This is awful!" He's always dripping in sweat!
Ahhh well! The comparisons can go on and on, I guess, until someone chimes in from an equatorial rain forest to put us all to shame!
As for me, I live in a 100-year old house with thick walls and lots of cross ventilation. We don't have a/c except for a room unit that we use for sleeping. The last week, though, has been a challenge. Eventually it'll break, and we'll be complaining about snow and ice here! LOL
I feel ya...
Milk here (GA) is almost $5 a gallon...well actually over $5 with tax! Completely ridiculous. Put your situation in the Lord's hands, you'll feel better! Prayers and hugs!
I feel for you!
I first want to commend you for stepping up to the plate and taking care of your stepdad when no one else will. I only hope he appreciates you for that. Can you contact Social Services to arrange for some home nursing care? You definitely sound as though you need some help with his ADLs. I recommend plenty of exercise and time for yourself if you can find it, a good stress release! Also I think a 5 or 10 minute guided meditation does wonders, but I realize that's not for everyone. Also, try Bach's Flower Remedy from health food stores. There's one called Rescue Remedy - a few drops on the tongue and you feel calm and peaceful and it's all natural.
And lastly just remember . . . this too shall pass !
I feel for you sm
I feel your frustrations. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I haven't had any situations similar to yours, but hearing about your BIL makes me angry. Sounds like he needs to be turned in. Is your sister scared of him? Maybe that's why she hasn't called you to tell you how she really feels. Mayb BIL has some control over her. I don't have any advice, but I sure hope things work out for you. Hang in there. I really hope your son realizes that he doesn't need friends like that. Especially the 20 something year old. He needs to pick on a crowd his own age.
Good luck.
Thank you. I need to just go do it. I feel
bad about being afraid to because some women would like to and might not be able to. Thanks again for your reply.
I feel for you....
I agree with the advice to try to talk to him and get to the bottom of it. I know that can be a hard thing with some men. Would he be willing to go to counseling? In the meantime, I would encourage you to find strong girlfriends to support you rather than guy friends. There's a way of having an emotional affair even when you don't have the physical one, if that makes sense. So it could be true that you're actually both distant right now.
I've been through divorce, and it's a very painful road for you and the kids. Yes, you do need to be a healthy mom for your kids, but that doesn't take away the enormous pain they experience as a result of divorce and the aftermath. You're in a very hard spot with no simple solution.
Clearly something needs to happen, and sometimes things get worse before they get better. I pray God will step into your situation in a dramatic way. Miracles do still happen, so don't give up hope. And regardless of what comes out of this, God can walk you through to a better place than you're in today.
Hang in there. Take positive steps forward. Email me if you ever want to talk.
Then I say just let him do it. I would feel sorry for him.
nm
I feel for ya...
My daughter had the same situation in I think it was 2nd grade, had long beautiful blonde hair, was a nightmare, and, yes, I posted in response to someone about this once and some kind soul responded to me, get a grip, it's just lice, she could get it at the theatre or church or anywhere...which is true but not the case here, this was a problem at school that they knew they were having and had been going on all year I found out later. I was pretty naive, had never seen them before, took her to the doctor to find out what it was! He said, yep, lice, here's some shampoo and get to work, got it cut out for ya unless you want to basically shave her head. I got it, too, because I used my brushes on her hair. Like I said, feel for ya, a real nightmare. Had to call the mother of her friend who had just spent the night that weekend and inform her so she could keep an eye on her daughter.
I kept her home and worked and worked and worked some more on her and everything I could think of. Luckily the rest of the family did not get it. Went to school to talk to the teacher, who said there was a problem with a family who had 2 girls, one of them in DD's class, and guess what, she sat next to my daughter. They had been sent home multiple times, too. I went to the principal and had a little conference, asked why no notes had been sent home informing parents there was a problem and was he aware that a school had been totally shut down not far away where everybody, including the teachers and their families, had lice. Apparently, he wasn't? said they didn't want to send notes because of privacy issues. Huhs? I'm not asking for names and numbers!! just to be informed to be on the lookout so we can be aware and get on top of it. After that, they did start sending home notes alerting about lice outbreaks. They also stopped making the kids put their coats and hats in a pile in the gym or at recess and told the kids not to share hats and coats, etc. I started putting her hair in really tight french braids and asked the teacher to move her to another seat. I kept it low key in front of my daughter, she felt bad enough, like it was her fault, and she cried every day as we sat and I picked the nits. I then understood the true meaning of nit picking!
Also be sure to take care of bedding, stuffed toys, favorite blankets, coats, hats, brushes, combs, etc. your bedding, blankets, pillows if been napping or such on your bed or siblings. I also worked on upholstered furniture, couch pillows, car seats, etc.
I feel bad for both of you
For him to go without being intimate for 3 years, yet want to stay in the marriage has to say something. I can see why he would reduce his requests to e-mail; being bluntly turned down day after day would have to tear him up. So then it comes down to WHY does he want to stay married to you? Because he really loves you and the kids, or is it another reason? I would suggest to try counseling again, preferably through a religious counselor. I think individual counseling might help too. You are in my prayers.
I feel bad for him too but (sm)
he has cheated many times in the past, was physically aggressive for years, beat me pretty bad one time, and gives me no say over any of our financial decisions or any decisions regarding where we live, where we go, what we buy, etc. He stays gone for days at a time without me being able to contact him via cell phone. He wants to stay because of the kids, but he doesn't see them all that much anyway and would see them as much or more if we divorced. I really think it is more about money.
I feel for you. .
I wish I had some good advice for you. . I've never been in such a situation so I just don't know what I would do. . I wish there was some way to help. .
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