Totally inappropriate, but I think I would probably ignore it.
Posted By: nm on 2006-12-02
In Reply to: What would you do? Sexual Harassment?- - violated
nm
Complete Discussion Below: marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old. To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Totally inappropriate.
He sounds like he's good at his job and also at flirting. He is interested in getting to know you better? Why doesn't he just come out and say - hey baby, how about a roll in the hay? Keep us posted if you pursue this. I'd like to know how things go. Believe me, he knows he's good looking. Good Luck and be careful.
You are totally correct and it was inappropriate.
Don't listen to the obviously ignorant posters. First of all, this is a bra were are talking about. He went out of his way to come over to make that comment to you. He later told you he thought you were pretty and may have been "overly friendly" to you. And even the girl at the counter said, "he's weird, why would he ask you that", totally confirming the fact that it was indeed inappropriate and uncomfortable. I don't know if I would do anything about it, but just know some of us do not think you are overreacting or seeking attention and you are 100% right in your feelings of being violated. Some of the others probably can only wish this happened to them if you get my drift.
I would totally ignore them. Difficult as it is
if you do not give them a moment of attention or let them know you are offended - they will eventually stop. Why play their game - stoop to their level? Then they have won
Amen Sister! She is totally unrealistic! Totally. Loved your post! sm
My grandparents (from VT), will tell you that my grandfather began farming at 6-7 under the supervision of his 10 year old brother. haha No major incidents - his mother tended the home and ran a nursery and she did have the siblings watch over each other. I didn't even think about all of this until you mentioned the farming post. I loved it!
I, for one, need plenty of sleep - so I must work during the day while they are here...Oops, I gottah go! My 2 year old just fell off the kitchen table.
just kidding
No, I think that is inappropriate SM
Even worse my son's first grade teacher told me son, "Angels aren't real." Fine...she doesn't believe (whatever), but she most certainly did NOT have to tell my son that Angels are not real!! We happen to practice a Christian faith, and we believe...and for her--an authority figure in his life and someone he would believe without question--to tell my son otherwise infuriated me. This was also the school that would not sing "We wish you a Merry Christmas" at their "winter program" and instead sang, "We Wish you a Merry Winter Solstice." Ohmygosh! Better to leave the song OUT of their program than to turn it into something pagan (sorry to offend those of you who are pagan, but I imagine if the situation were opposite and we changed one of your songs you wouldn't like it either).
Oh well...I guess all you can do is just openly speak to your kids and explain that some kids (and adults) believe and some don't. My 3rd grade son believes in Santa about 50 percent I would say...leaning toward not believing...but it is just something fun for kids, ya know?
I'm sorry about this!
Chickadee
Inappropriate??!!???
That 911 operator needs to be *#%@* fired, yesterday!
Don't ignore it
How close are you to the niece? I have several nieces and nephews that I am close to. They aren't teenagers anymore, but a few of them went through similar situations.
If it were me, I would first talk to the niece and ask her if these stories are true. Explain that she needs to protect herself - not use birth control pills and condoms but staying away from alcohol and drugs which put her in a dangerously vulnerable situation. Does she understand how many young people will spike her drinks just to see her get loopy?
If you thought she was playing Russian roulette, you wouldn't hesitate to get involved - talk to her and then talk to your sister.
Best of luck to you - I really do understand your feelings.
tell the guy it's inappropriate; do not allow it again.
nm
Is it inappropriate to ask someone (sm)
I have been seeing a man for a little over a year. During this time he has had financial issues and I have given him money without expecting it to be returned. Recently his financial issues got worse and I was not in a position to help. Now he is telling me that he "has money coming to" him but he doesn't say from where. It is almost like he is specifically avoiding saying from where. Normally I would not ask anyone about their finances, but he has never had a problem with telling me he had financial problems and taking money from me, but now that I could not help him, he is getting it from somewhere and not saying where. It makes me wonder if it is from another woman. Am I being paranoid? Should I come right out and ask or is it just none of my business?
That's inappropriate.
How about when you are pregnant and tell them you don't want to know the gender - then they proceed to say "she" throughout the rest of visit when referencing your baby.
What's inappropriate to some...
is dead on the money for others. Some become uncomfortable when posts hit close to home, resulting in bashing of others. In a nutshell, we don't live above our means, we have a very nice lifestyle and we live debt free by choice. I think that is the American dream, not working at a job you hate, being in debt up to your eyeballs with no way out and still buying things you just gotta have now and living hand to mouth. There are others out there who agree with me, believe it or not. A lot of you here just wallow in your self-pity and poor me attitudes. No wonder the other board is so much better, there are positive attitudes over there.
Looking for inappropriate comments? I don't think so! (sm)
Okay......and thanks for your input. I am the OP and I just want for you to know that I think that your comment was a little on the ignorant side. "I am not soooo appalled." I was a little shocked that he cared so much to go out of his way to make sure I found the right size bra. (He walked away from his job to come over to the checkout counter that I was at and felt the need to ask that, even though I was being checked out by a female clerk that was fully capable of making sure that I found what I needed?) Even the female clerk looked at him and said "What are you talking about?" I told her about the bra I returned to his service desk an hour earlier and she said "He is weird. That is none of his business!"
For the record, I receive male attention frequently and I am not easily offended or overly prudish when comments are made to me. This on the other hand was a bit strange.
My intentions were to ask others if they would consider this question to be inappropriate or not if they had been asked the same question under the same circumstances. I am not playing 'poor victim' here as I consider this a minor incident (yet still inappropriate).
In my opinion, it sounds to me like you don't get many comments offered to you and perhaps you would welcome them if you did? (That's what I get from your comment anyways!)
Please ignore the meanies
You obviously needed support/comfort today, and I'm sorry that certain posters who did not have anything nice to say would not just skip your post.
I do hope your ex will change his mind and let your son visit, for you and for him. If not, my hope is that you will be able get through the disappointment and try to look forward to the next time he is able to visit. It sounds like it is best not to "argue" with your ex on this, and perhaps by "turning the other cheek", so to speak, and not letting him know you are upset with him personally about this, just disappointed, he may let your son visit for part of the summer??
Whatever happens, try to keep your chin up and look ahead.
Please ignore the above post
My hubby often does not listen to me but I know for a fact he is not having an affair.
I have just quit listening to him as well. It has become a joke in our family. Not to make light of your situation, I know yours is more serious, but don't assume he is having an affair. I guess it is possible, but how the above poster "knows" he is having an affair is ludicrous.
why not just ignore my post and be on yours
x
a little too coincidental to ignore...
x
Don't be so quick to ignore it
I had something similar happen to me but it was a phone call. Would never have suspected it but it turned out to be true. It is much better to know than to be fooled. Check into it and you will find the truth. I found proof from the cell phone numbers. Very easy to find a pattern. Good luck. I truly hope it is just a prank. Not a fun thing to go through.
My ignore list.
Any kind of meat
Sweet Potatoes
Yams
Pizza (sadly, that is a recent addition. My stomach can't handle it)
Raw eggs
Plain iceberg lettuce
Plain hazelnuts (which I just recently discovered are aka "filberts." Ha.)
Unsalted peanuts
Boca burgers
I'll only eat tofu if it's in a very spicy Thai dish
"Did you find one that fit" is inappropriate? I don't think so.
x
Ignore the trolls....they are just looking to cause a stir.
I wish everyone could be guaranteed the day off from work to do with as they wish.
it IS MOST rude to ignore any RSVP....got it?
In some areas of the country it isn't really inappropriate sm
Not to be disagreeable but where I live a simple kiss on the cheek is pretty normal when meeting someone, etc. So perhaps it is a more common thing where that person is from and therefore there may have been no ulterior motive behind it. I recently went to my brother's wedding and quickly realized that not everyone wanted a kiss on the cheek when I gave them their lei at the luau party - though it is custom here.
She's just trying to stir stuff up - ignore her - sm
Notice she didn't mention having to chase after and care for children.
Maybe her kids are grown. I don't know about you but I am always on the go with the kids. My mom rarely had time to do stuff with us when we were kids and WE cleaned HER house too.
KitKat sounds like a troll.
oh, it occurred to her, she chose to ignore it...
and these people had to pay $7000 income tax on these vehicles so most of them sold the vehicles instead. However, giving a car isn't as bad as a plasma TV in my mind for the homeless because at least they could sleep in the car(s)......cellphones and plasmas for the homeless made no sense whatsoever to me.
I would do it right back, all the time in inappropriate - sm
situations. Give his crotch a grab and squeeze, or pinch his butt, etc.....and I would do it in front of others and see how he likes being treated as a piece of meat. Of course if you do this when no one is around he will take it as in invitation so this approach does have its down side. If he persists, then I would just slap him or his hands until he cuts it out.
your opinion is again inappropriate, as you do not support yourself.
nm
I would just ignore and move on, she sounds - sm
a bit confused, is dementia setting in both mom and the grandma, or are they just drauma queens? As for both of your kids going to a birthday party, who cares, if only one is invited what is the big deal, maybe the kid inviting is not friends with the brother, or there is a big age difference, etc. I have 2 girls and don't take both of them to the party that only 1 was invited to, very bad manners as you point out to invite your other child so they "don't feel left out", which sounds like your mom and grandma think. Maybe your younger son is more spoiled than the first one (hard not to do) or is more social and has more friends. Totally screwy. I'd just invite her, not ask her about it, and just go on like nothing happened.
If you're sure it isn't true, ignore it
It's certainly an easy way for someone to try to make trouble for your husband. I wouldn't pursue trying to figure out who sent it. Don't give them the satisfaction.
This is a very inappropriate and wrong comment, why do you say this?..nm
nm
That is just mean. I'm not defending inappropriate clothing sm
but your nasty little comment is mean for no reason at all. Don't overweight people face enough trials in their lives w/o someone like you making "big panties" comments?
I was taught to "always ignore the ignorant."
Unfortunately, I've run into people like that before, and I just ignore the comment, make nice chit-chat for a few minutes and "see you later alligator." At least, I demonstrated what my values are and did not degrade myself to their level. The main word here is "ignorant." There are so many people out there that are ignorant of their own manners, ignorant of other people's feelings, just tactless mules.
I really think a lot of it is just to get a response. Ignore the unfounded remarks and let's SM
just go on as usual praising the dogs and all the things that make us smile!!!!
thank you, anon. And this, Philly, is why your posts are inappropriate.
nm
it seems awfully hard hearted for people to say to ignore him...
After all, he is your dad. I do not know what you should do, but I don't think that cutting him out of your life is going to help him any. Sometimes, I think people do things for attention because they need attention.
Listen if small children tell you someone is inappropriate
The majority of the time- the majority- little children are not going to say someone touched them inappropriately or such thing sexual unless it is happening or has happened- they just do not. Listen and learn from the children.
it's not illegal, but it's inappropriate & he shouldn't be allowed to teach anymore
x
Agree...and the gang mentality thing is often quick to surface when challenged. Ignore these
s
Totally, totally agree.
You feel inadequate and no matter what you do - you feel like it is not enough - and that is depression. Get on some medication, or get some therapy and start taking time for yourself and enjoy life. Been there and done that myself - STOP FEELING GUILTY - you deserve better!!
Totally against the war
said it right from the start, told my husband the war was of no use, more and more that is being proven true, hate that young guys are being killed there day after day, the middle east never had as many bombings as they do on a day to day basis now, blood being shed all over the place, the house not wanting to give more money for a no win war, I lived through Viet Nam, no difference here, just different land. Mark my word, different president, the war will be a thing of the past and yet all these fine lives lost.
I am totally
terrified of the draft. I posted earlier about my son wanting to go to Africa next summer and me not really wanting to let him go. I guess you know what my answer would be to the above question so I guess I shouldn't say anything at all.
I was totally going to say
me too!
Oh, but what I've gained ...
(I'll think of something).
Totally think it is really none of your
business that they are working. You don't have any authority and your supervisor is the one to tell them NOT to work. If they have been told not to work and they are, that is between them and the employer.
totally.
My imagination is way too fertile. When someone tells me they are "trying to get pregnant" or they remember the moment their kids were conceived, it's exactly like showing me photos of the deed. Photos I'd way rather not see. ick.
I totally get what you are saying sm
and feel 100% the same way. If I had the means financially, I would help whomever and whenever, my hubby feels the same. However, to not respond to someone who is reaching out to you, I feel, is unforgivable. I would also like to say, give it some more time - you don't know what the situation is and I feel someone who has as big a heart as you obviously have, should hold it open just a little longer.
Totally agree. nm
.
Totally agree with you!
Santa Claus was a wonderful time for me and my children. I did not suffer any ill effects from knowing the truth. This is a magical time for children. They believe in goblins, ghosts, the Easter Bunny, play friends that only they can see and talk with, fairies among lots of others. Why in the world would anyone want to deny a child the pleasure of thinking they are that important that this man in the red suit is coming especially to give them presents. It really made me feel special but I guess other parents want to cut some of the fun time from the child's life.How sad....
I totally agree with you, well said.
I find that others think since I work at home, they can interrupt me any time they want, I am expected to cover things while they are at work, etc. I want to be left alone during my work hours to do my work. I have worked in offices where you were not allowed to have personal calls during work hours, which is fairly common. I think I am going to disconnect my phone during my work hours. Sometimes I feel by working at home I don't get the same respect for my job than others in my home that work outside the home.
Oh, I totally agree with you there...sm
these are the kids my daughter deals with every day, but she understands at their age, they didn't ask for their circumstances. No child at age 8 or 9 should know anything about sex, using the B word, MF word, and other stuff. They can't write a sentence but they can tell her how to get more food stamps, how their older sister had another baby so she could get more money in her check....the stories go on and on. But the point we started out with was GI upset...they can't help being made take meds that make them physically sick.
I am totally out of debt -
house, cars, motorcyles, credit cards. Everything!
It feels great!
I totally agree with you...
Just a curious question. We are only as young (or old) as we feel, right! I am 37 and feel (most days) much, much younger...like I said before, it is a relative question...thanks for your reply!
Totally agree. nm
x
|