Totally agree with this poster - sm
Posted By: have college kid too on 2007-10-22
In Reply to: My mom always held my car over my head.... - shayles
If he is maintaining his grades, not getting into trouble, give the kid a little slack. Let him grow up.
However, on the same note, I would also make it clear that when he does decide to take these trips to see the girlfriend, he is responsible for anything that could go wrong with the car. All a part of growing up too.
Hang in there mom. Take a deep breath and give him a little space.
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Totally, totally agree.
You feel inadequate and no matter what you do - you feel like it is not enough - and that is depression. Get on some medication, or get some therapy and start taking time for yourself and enjoy life. Been there and done that myself - STOP FEELING GUILTY - you deserve better!!
Have to agree with this poster
I'm no Bible thumping holy roller but I do know that if you TRULY understand what it means to be a Christian, you don't go in for the evil aspect of Halloween. I don't think what the pastor said and did is appropriate though. He sounds a little over the top to me.
I have to agree with the poster above
Your sister and BIL did not borrow the quad, simply agreed to bring it to their home because your husband was too tired to unload it. Sounds like the BIL was trying to be nice. Hubby was too tired to unload it, but expected BIL to do it himself at his house???
I agree 100% with the poster below - also...
You do not want to be his second choice. Either he is free from this other woman and available to date you in a proper manner or he is not. Him saying *things are not working out* is SO typical for someone who wants to play the field and still have the security of someone else. He has been with her 7 years, is not happy, and has not moved on??? You deserve so much better and do not need someone like him. Let sleeping dogs lie!!! 
I agree with first poster
At least this is a decision she is making herself. You can't change the circumstances, but you can help her find the best facility possible in her circumstances.
I lived 500 miles away from my mother, and when she got sick with non-Hodgkin's, it was very hard because I couldn't be down there to help her as much as I wanted. My son was 12 at the time and I had to be here with him, although I could and did go down and stay with her a couple of weeks at a time (my son too when he was out of school). And I was with her for the last three weeks of her life.
I know this is very hard for you. Just be with her as often as you can, talk to her on the phone as often as you can, and help her find a good facility that will take care of her needs. She sounds like a very independent, sensible lady. She understands that you love her and want the best for her. Cherish the time that you have with her. 
I agree with the other poster, (sm)
probably something "dressier" than "regular" business but not black tie, somewhere in between. Other poster is probably correct about them saying that to hopefully avoid too much sparkle and low cut or short skirts with the women. LOL.
then I would agree with another poster..
you should probably find someone to talk to about it..with your husband.
Have to agree with the above poster
While my mom is only in her 60's right now, my dad has already passed and I have NO doubt that when the time comes to take care of my mom, I will get little to no help from my 4 siblings. I think often the burden falls to one child and it would be in your best interest to get power of attorney and just do what you need to do.
It's not worth fighting with your sister when she clearly doesn't want to contribute much. It will just cause you more stress and as a result, more stress on your dad.
When all is said and done, you will sleep well at night knowing you did all you could for your dad. Your sister will be the one who has to live with herself knowing that she didn't care enough to be there for him.
I agree with above poster....
This is being blown way out of proportion. This is normal dog behavior. Maybe you should keep your child in your own yard. It would be different if this dog went into your yard and then attacked her!
I agree with this poster. nm
h
I agree with the poster below
Just because he is your future son-in-law doesn't mean he owes you anything. It sounds to me like you want to cause problems between him and your daughter because of this when you say you think she should have talked to him. This is between you and him. You asked for help, he told you what he could offer, take it or leave it.
It sounds to me like he made the comment about not having things placed or set up because he expects that you would want that. I certainly don't know your relationship with him or your daughter and do believe there are always 2 sides to every story and feel like we didn't get the second side to this story.
I don't say any of this to make you feel bad in any way. Your situation reminds me of my own mother. Except that she will do whatever she can to get things resolved before asking either of her son-in-law's to help and they are more than willing to do anything for her...she just knows that they work full-time, have a family, and life is hectic. When she does ask something she asks them directly (not through the daughter) and asks for bare minimum - she usually gets much more than that on the son-in-law's own accord not because he is obligated.
I agree with the other poster.
Unless its a kid that you know has been in trouble before, I wouldn't assume anything. My son is not a teenager yet but he says things that he just says because he thinks someone else will think its funny or cool...not because he is doing it or agrees. I also have 3 older nephews, in and just beyond teenage years, and they do the same thing. Two are great kids, they say things but clearly do not participate. Being the aunt they tell a lot more with honesty than they do to the parents. The other...well is just irresponsible. I think he says a lot to keep up with people too but wouldn't put anything past him if peer pressure is involved. Just his personality and demeanor says a lot.
If you sit down with a teenager and talk to them as if they are "adult" you would be surprised some times at the things they will tell you in honesty.
Agree with this poster, you cannot let
this slide. Also, if he is posting pictures on the Internet, in certain parts of the country schools monitor this and they can and have taken action against the student. You need to be firm on this and definitely discuss it with his father. So what if your son is devastated by his father's reaction, in the long run it is the best for him.
Agree with poster below that
you need to get out of that situation, especially after reading what you son said. He is being damaged, and I have seen firsthand what that damage can do to you as an adult. Dysfunctional doesn't begin to describe it. Take action ASAP. I wish you the best of luck, I know it isn't easy.
I agree with another poster. . .
You are trying to solve a problem by yourself. But the problem involves two people. Your husband has to participate in the solution.
My husband and I have similarly hectic schedules. We're lucky if we eat 1 or 2 meals together in any given weak. He's a horrible cook, but he can heat things up, pour cereal in a bowl, and make sandwiches. I love to cook. I prepare meals ahead and freeze.
Your husband may want to continue his breakfast social time. That's fun, and everyone needs a little socializing outside of the house. But for other meals, both of you will have to communicate and coordinate. He needs to call home, and if you are going to be the main cook, you'll need to start planning and preparing for quick meals.
It takes a bit of practice and a lot of communication. But you BOTH need to agree to a plan.
I agree with the above poster
I would get some Omeprazole and start taking that also. I find Miralax works great. Lots of water also!
Definitely agree with above poster, too sm
NO PURSE.
Money and license in FRONT pants pocket. You very well may find yourself in such a crowd/push of people that a stranger could be right up against your back, so put nothing in your back pocket.
Staying with a group is very good advice.
Oh, and don't pet the police horses, they're working!
I agree with this poster, however - sm
the G-spot is quite elusive I think....though it does exist. I have only had that experience 3 x in 23 years, quite amazing actually and totally different from a regular manually stimulated orgasm. I remember on my 18th birthday friends gave me the books the Hite report, which is a sex survey basically from the male and female perspective. It was quite enlightening to me as I had only been sexually active for about 3 months at that point and new nothing about the clitoris or masturbation, etc. and had never had an orgasm at that point as the 2 guys I had been with were not very knowlegdgeable or didn't care that I didn't have an orgasm (or assumed I did). I did not even know what one was then. But definitely get educated about your body and what turns you on in the genitalia basically. Sorry to be so graphic but that is how your body works.
Agree with above poster.
In addition to hydration, your puppy is probably being given antibiotics and anti-emetics. They are probably also monitoring blood tests and body temperature. If you vet feels your dog needs to stay, I would listen. Ask them to explain their reasoning if it is not clear to you. I treated many parvo dogs and the ones that left early always came back in worse shape and ended up having longer hospital stays in the end (unfortunaly some of them didn't make it at all). Parvo is a very serious disease for a pup, and I would think twice before bringing the puppy back home.
Sounds like your puppy is doing well though if she is eating and holding it down. That is a very good sign. Hope she continues to do well.
and I agree with both poster's responses....s/m
Sorry this is happening to you and esp this time of year with all the multi-religious holiday festivities going on in this country all this month....truly hope it ALL gets resolved soon for you!
Please...how ridiculous...I agree with the other poster!
I am so sick of this crap, everyone screaming RACIST if you even mention a race other than WHITE in ANY context. Perhaps it's you that is racist if you feel that way :)
I agree with this poster. For your own sake.
NM
Agree with poster above. DO NOT take $ out of 401K...sm
>> My H wants to take 15k out of his 401k and be done with it. He says we are still young and we can still make it up. >>
I was watching Suze Orman's show recently, and she had someone who wanted to do this. The woman was in her early 30s and wanted to take money out of her 401K to pay off $22,000 in cc debt, just to be rid of it.
Suze said NO, and here's why - taking money out of a 401K now, instead of at retirement, means you'll have to pay penalties (state and federal) plus taxes which will equal about 35%. So in order to end up with $22,000 (to pay off her cc debt), she would actually need to take out about $35,000 from the 401K! So it would cost her $13,000 to pay off that $22,000. Not worth it.
And if that isn't bad enough, look at what you lose by not having that $35,000 in your 401K for the next 30-40 years, earning money for you like it should be. At at average rate of return, that $35,000 would turn into around $353,000! So that's what it's *really* costing you. Tell your husband that and see if he still wants to do it. ;o)
Suze said we need to stop looking at our 401Ks like their our piggy banks/savings accounts. They're for us to live on in *retirement.*
I agree with this poster's mother - it is difficult
Things have changed a lot and obviously it is easier now than it was when I did it (dated someone from a different race)- but there are sometimes huge cultural differences, not only in different races but in same race from very different parts of the country. A lot of traditions that you find important - someone very culturally different (same for religion for that matter) may not. You have to be thick skinned and very committed. A good partner is hard to find.
I agree with the poster. Didn't care for it (sm)
My 6yo was bored with it too, and it just seemed too preachy. I get and appreciate the message they were sending, but the way they did it in parts seemed to be over kids' heads. It seemed more like a grown-up movie to me, and my daughter has not asked to watch it again.
I agree. From the poster below with opinion different than Wannie.
uio
I agree with this poster and so does Dave Ramsey. sm
Get your hands on anything of his and follow the recommendations. He has helped me greatly. As Reality Check says, and I agree, our economy is in dire straits and not having any financial worries will be worth the effort to get there.
Good luck to you and your wife.
I agree with poster below - maybe check thyroid. sm
A little over a year ago I had what I thought was a *severe* sore throat. Over the course of about a week, I also had a low-grade temp., body aches, headache, chills (but only off and off) then came night sweats, heart palpitations and tachycardia (142 bpm).
I thought I was coming down with the flu, or maybe had strep throat. The weird thing is that the symptoms would come and go, and were always much worse at night. I'd feel horrible at night, then wake up feeling pretty much back to normal.
I finally got tired of it and went to urgent care, and when they saw how high my heart rate was, they did an EKG and told me to go immediately to the ER. At the ER, they gave me fluids, but my heart rate didn't come down. (They asked me if I was anxious. Nope. Calm as could be, and felt pretty good right then, actually.) They drew blood, gave me fluids, etc. and found I was hyperthyroid. I was in the hospital from Sun. afternoon until Tue. afternoon (mostly so they could monitor my heart to make sure it was okay, do more tests, and give me some pain relief for the throat pain).
What I had is called subacute granulomatous thyroiditis. (Maybe Google it and see if the symptoms sound like how you're feeling?) They *think* it's caused by a virus (it's not an immune system thyroid disorder). So basically it runs its course, they treat the symptoms, you're fine. (Though a small % of people may be left hypothyroid and need to go on thyroid replacement.)
I had follow up with an endocrinologist, and he said he was really surprised the docs in the ER diagnosed me so quickly. I guess most don't. If they hadn't thought to check my thyroid levels, I don't know what would have happened!
Now the runny nose symptom you have doesn't fit with this, so maybe it's not your thyroid, but it's easy enough for them to check your thyroid levels and see. They sent me home with Vicodin for the pain, and I needed it! Whatever it is, I hope you get relief for your throat pain soon. I'm sitting here remembering how much it hurt, so you have my sympathies. :o)
I read all the comments and I agree with the poster who wrote
'One has to teach people how to treat you' and one has to tell people what is imoportant to oneself.
It is inexcusable not to call or meet one's mother for mother's day and Christmas, etc.....
Totally agree. nm
.
Totally agree with you!
Santa Claus was a wonderful time for me and my children. I did not suffer any ill effects from knowing the truth. This is a magical time for children. They believe in goblins, ghosts, the Easter Bunny, play friends that only they can see and talk with, fairies among lots of others. Why in the world would anyone want to deny a child the pleasure of thinking they are that important that this man in the red suit is coming especially to give them presents. It really made me feel special but I guess other parents want to cut some of the fun time from the child's life.How sad....
I totally agree with you, well said.
I find that others think since I work at home, they can interrupt me any time they want, I am expected to cover things while they are at work, etc. I want to be left alone during my work hours to do my work. I have worked in offices where you were not allowed to have personal calls during work hours, which is fairly common. I think I am going to disconnect my phone during my work hours. Sometimes I feel by working at home I don't get the same respect for my job than others in my home that work outside the home.
Oh, I totally agree with you there...sm
these are the kids my daughter deals with every day, but she understands at their age, they didn't ask for their circumstances. No child at age 8 or 9 should know anything about sex, using the B word, MF word, and other stuff. They can't write a sentence but they can tell her how to get more food stamps, how their older sister had another baby so she could get more money in her check....the stories go on and on. But the point we started out with was GI upset...they can't help being made take meds that make them physically sick.
I totally agree with you...
Just a curious question. We are only as young (or old) as we feel, right! I am 37 and feel (most days) much, much younger...like I said before, it is a relative question...thanks for your reply!
Totally agree. nm
x
I totally agree with you. nm
x
I totally agree (sm),
in fact, I should have eloped since I had recently moved and hadn't accumulated many new friends yet. The reception was really lame with the weird mix of people, some of whom I couldn't stand, but mom assured me they wouldn't come, and we were just doing the right thing.
Put on a syrupy sweet voice and tell your mother it is tempting to make this a social event for us, but this is really THEIR event. Let's do it their way since it only happens once. Let's not ruin their big day by arguing about it.
I totally agree and nothing to look at either
I can't believe all these people think he's so great. Yuck.
I totally agree-
it does make the award seem insignificant. They say they don't want any kids to feel 'left out.' Isn't that one of the main motivators to work harder? What about the child who truly earned the award? How does that child feel when the same award is given out indiscriminately so as not to hurt anyone's self esteem?
IMO self esteem comes from doing your best and feeling pride in yourself because of it- and if you are doing your best and improving you will not need some phony award to feel good about yourself, because you already will.
When these kids grow up they are going to be in the real world where they will be expected to perform to certain standards because that is what is expected from everyone. It seems like it is getting harder to find people who find satisfaction in doing a good job just for the sake of doing it. I wonder if there is any correlation here.
Totally agree-
I don't know why the parents would not have told their kids by now, but it is for them to do. It would be even more traumatic for the kids to hear it from someone else.
I was adopted and thank God I always knew I was. When I was too young to really understand they simply told me that I was special because they chose me. For years I pictured this baby store and my parents walking up and down the aisles shopping, LOL.
I totally agree with you!
I have grown sons, 26 and 18. I would never snoop in their e-mail. We have a great relationship and I do trust them. I am not saying that I have not or would not read their e-mail, but if I did, it was because I was looking at something on their computer which they would be aware of (or at least not care) and if an e-mail looked interesting I would read it and tell them. I think they would do the same with me and I also would not care. I think if you have a good relationship with your kids, that you know them pretty well and would know if you should worry or not. I truly believe that most parents, if they would just open their eyes, already know when there are problems. I get angry when I hear of someone who says "I had no clue" because I think that they do and just do not want to believe it. I think you are doing the right thing by trusting your kids. Keep it up!
Totally agree
I first noticed him on "Roseanne" and thought he was strange-looking and not at all attractive. My opinion hasn't changed over the years.
Don't like Brad Pitt, either. I don't go for the "pretty boys." Give me some depth of character. Looks are definitely secondary.
Totally agree
This week in fact I was feeling down in the dumps, did some praying and went out to do something nice for someone else, it made a big difference!! Thanks for the post.
I totally agree!
There are way too many gray areas on this. I absolutely detest child molesters and would never want one knowingly around my children. But the 18yo with a 15yo is completely different and should not be lumped into the same group and treated the same way.
I once worked in the children's services field and talked extensively with a professional who worked with sex offenders, and he told me that pedophiles can never be rehabilitated, and that they will always repeat the offense. There's a good case for locking them up for good, don't you think?
I totally agree with you ...
nm
Totally agree
Yeah, that comment was not the smartest thing to say. Now she will probably fear the police for no good reason. Not a good move.
totally agree
Boy I couldn't have said it better myself. Good job. This is exactly what you need to do mom. It's hard to hear but this is the way to do it and then get counseling for yourself to help you deal with your feelings. Christian counseling if possible. Take care and God bless!
I totally agree
I would have definitely been at the school in person or at the superintendent's office, wherever that may be. E-mails can be ignored, forgotten about, and sometimes never even read. A much more proactive approach would be an in person meeting with the school administration to get this taken care of so that nothing like it happens again.
Totally agree - sm
Good luck with your situation too. Kids can't pick their parents and every kid deserves to be loved.
I agree with you totally
It is not fair to the little girl to not go to school, but it sounds like the mother is lazy or beyond. It is always going to be unfair to children who have lazy or ignorant parents, but all others should not have to pay for it. I feel sorry for the little girl because she obviously has no one to love her enough to take care of her. So sad. I don't blame you for going to the School Board. I would be right there with you.
I totally agree!
I could never even begin to imagine leaving any of my pets locked up in a garage all day and night. That is not a good life for any animal, nor is it at all fair. It's kind of like they are in jail. I always have all of my pets with me at all times IN the house and would never have it any other way!
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