To anon..She was trying to explain to the rest of us in simple terms...sm
Posted By: cat on 2008-02-07
In Reply to: your post - anon
how mares foal, bkz most of us don't have the opportunity to see that. You don't even know how many horses and other animals Hayseed has and cares for every day!
I suggest you apologize immediately.  Cat
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Rest. doing bad, Chef comes in sets things right, rest. does okay,
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terms
Did you read the terms of donating? That right there tells you it is a scam - it even says you agree not to report them to the host site, what a rip off
In terms of what? - sm
Could be Pentium 4, or it could mean someone who has had 4 childbirths-----Pregnancy history, written as "(gravida, para, X-X-X-X)," where gravida is the total number of pregnancies (including the present one), para is the number of deliveries after 20 weeks of pregnancy, and X-X-X-X is the number of full-term infants-number of preterm infants-number of abortions-number of living children-----written as G4, P4, A0. (cannot remember if it is with or w/o the commas, I don't do many of these).
OP can use whatever terms she wants and can also take care of herself (sm)
However, in her absence if her friends want to defend her that's ok too. Maybe we all need to get a life if we are going to be on here debating something so trivial.
Personally, I think it needs to be on their terms - sm
My son is actually my stepson. I have been with his father since my son was about 7 years old. I always had a little suspicion but stayed quiet. I figured if he was, he would eventually "come out" to us.
He was actually about 17 when he called me one day from school and asked if he could just come home and talk to me. We sat for three hours, just the two of us, and he spilled everything.
It was absolutely heart-breaking to know that he was so terribly uncomfortable with his "secret life".
You love your kids unconditionally. It was a little hard for his dad to understand, very hard for his grandparents to understand but he needed to be himself.
The only thing I can offer to you is that you need to let it be their timing.
If I had asked my son about it directly, I think it would have sent him over the edge emotionally. He just wasn't prepared for it because he wasn't sure what was going on with him either.
He knew that I had gay friends and I was okay with that so I think this is why he chose to talk to me first, rather than his mother or his father.
I know it was a very difficult thing for him and I just told him that I was so proud of him for having the courage to be himself.
He's not perfect by any means but I love him the same as the rest of my kids.
He will soon by 25 and I am just as proud of him as I am my of other kids.
I think OP means she would use the terms
mentally handicapped or mentally challenged. At least those are the terms I usually hear now-a-days. Good luck to you and your family.
But, she and her ex are on excellent terms
They see and talk with each other every week, no animosity there so that is not a problem. If fact when she was here Thanksgiving she had invited him if he were going to be in town.
Terms of Endearment
I remember when
Shirley McClaine was screaming for them to give her daughter her meds because it was time. I was 17 when I saw this movie and I kept thinking, my mother would be exactly the same way.
Those terms are used all the time around here..sm
A lot of southerners use those words when talking to people. Sometimes when they don't even know the person. It is really no big deal to me.
Tell your mother in no uncertain terms (sm)
that your son and his soon to be wife are deciding who they want at their wedding, and that they will decide. If she keeps calling, just simply say, "please stop calling, we are not going to change our minds. And then don't. If she chooses not to come, that's her decision.
ooh, you are right - see inside for link to their terms
http://www.myspace.com/Modules/Common/Pages/TermsConditions.aspx
Quite common terms in the South. We
call everyone something like that, whether we know them or not.
I beg to differ. Forgiveness, even Biblical terms, can
only genuinely happen AFTER the offender repents for having hurt/offended you. Forgive and forget is just a wimpy nonconfrontational thing. The only way one can feel true forgiveness is if the other party repents. One can make informed decisions and move on, but forgiveness is not one-sided, though it sounds all warm and fuzzy.
curious - R U on speaking terms today with sis?
I am divorced and now on good terms with MIL, but not while we were married! sm
She was very critical, called me every name in the book and kept telling her son I was no good that he belonged in the home I could not PROVIDE FOR HIM, as in the home they could. Umm last time I checked he was an adult too and we were to make a home TOGETHER.
I can remember being sent to the hospital with preterm labor with my daughter. I was scared, I had had to drive my sons to my mom's and then myself to the hospital. My doctor was furious with him. Why did I have to do that? Because SHE needed to go to the doctor about her 'rrhoids and her rear end was more important than OUR unborn child!!! Oh and he could have been available sooner, but she wanted to go shoe shopping. She was truly the other woman in my marriage and when anything happened where I truly needed him, he was with her...shopping, taking her to the doctor, driving her to the dentist. He eventually lost a job because all of that. He didn't learn and continued until he finally has not had a full time job since.
What finally bridged the gap was our divorce. He didn't see his kids or pay support because he didn't feel he should have to. BUT I never kept my kids from her, she is their grandmother and they are her only grandchildren. She never forgot a birthday or Christmas and she didn't play favorites like my mom did. I respected her for what I felt was her important role in their lives and she grew to respect me for my that.
What finally did it is the fact that my ex up and remarried. The gal he married has many documented mental health issues (I saw the report her ex had on her, but that is a long story). My MIL tried with wife #2, she really did. Finally, just about the time they married, this gal threatened my MIL's life and hit her in the face hard enough to knock her down! This was done in front of my oldest son and my MIL's boyfriend at the time (FIL had passed on).
From that day on, I was welcome in her home anytime and "that woman" was not. I suddenly became the nicest of her 3 DILs and she told me that herself. Although the kids are grown and I have moved out of state, I send her birthday and Mother's Day cards. I know she regrets the things she said and did, she told me that too. I told her that stuff was all in the past and what really mattered is the here and now.
The categories are as specific as terms like "violence" allow - sm
Admittedly, there could be some disagreement about "marginal" situations. Is a raised fist "violence"? Some would say yes, some no. Away from these margins, though, there wouldn't likely be much disagreement as to which category a movie belongs in.
And since all movies are fantasy (fiction), whether they contain this sort of thing or not, the question being addressed here is what sort of fantasy is doing better at the box office?
To ANON
Thank you.......
To another anon
OK....have a good night....
For anon...
Just for the record, I wasn't calling you names. You don't like my opinion, that's fine. I've read your previous posts though, and I don't think some of these other posters have. I was NOT calling you a weird lady, I was stating that to a 6-year-old boy you are some weird lady who is taking his daddy. You and the father were not together long enough for that child to feel any connection to you prior to the marriage, and you have shown nothing but hatred and jealousy toward the child on your weekly posts here. I would (and this is just a guess) imagine you're not all that bonding and loving with the child, so yes...he's not going to think well of you. And I still stand by my belief that a 6-year-old saying I got a slushie and you didn't isn't spiteful or in any way a malacious act. It's a 6-year-old being a 6-year-old.
I agree with anon
Just gradually let the friendship drop. When she wants to see you, tell her you're not available. If she calls to cry on your shoulder, listen for a couple of minutes and then tell her you need to get off the phone. She isn't going to change, so you have to.
BTW, someone below mentioned a friend using the fact that she is bipolar to excuse this kind of behavior. I am bipolar, and while there may be some things I don't handle as well as I would like, I have a steady job, I have been married to the same man for many years, I have a son in college, and my bills are always paid on time. But then, I always take my meds. I may not like the side effects, but I want as "normal" a life as I can have.
Anon - please get help today -
I really don't want to be an alarmist, however, we all read the news and every day there's a report of wife who disappears (or is killed by her husband.) If (and this is a big IF) he is getting worse and IF you feel threatened by his behavior - get help! Look in the white pages for social services and find a woman's help group. Only you can tell if he's getting angry and if you're frightened. If I were frightened in any way by my husband or his behavior I'd be out of there! We cannot give you any other advice than to seek advice in your community before it's too late. Again, to reiterate and make my point, it really sounds like he's into porn. There's many types of porn from the mild Playboy type to the really ugly violent porn! I hear that it becomes addicting to some people and, if that is the case here, I would seek help immediately!
So, Anon, be your own Best Friend...
and do what you know you need to do. We've all given you good advice here. There is free legal aid and counseling available all over the country, big towns and small. Act in your own best interests. Pretend that your best friend is being abused in this manner and look up the info for "her". For some reason you are reticent to do this. Are you afraid you cannot make it on your own? Are you afraid that he'll come after you? Do you think that the marriage can be saved? Do what Ann Landers always says "think about whether your life would be better or worse without him in it". If you think that it would be better without him in it then you need to make a decision to get the help you need. Don't tell him what you're thinking about doing. Don't let him find out you're making copies of necessary paperwork. This is about YOU and YOUR needs (necessities really). BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND! (Sorry about yelling - just trying to get through to you!)
Do you have kids anon?
I agree spanking should be kept to a minimum, but sometimes with younger kids it is necessary imo. When my oldest was 3 or 4 I had my cart full of groceries and my hands full and told him to stay right by my side and hold onto the cart when we cross the parking lot. He ran right out into traffic! I spanked him right there in the parking lot because I wanted him to remember to NEVER do that again. I also talked with him about once we were in the car, but some situations call for spanking imo.
Some parents never spank their kids, and good for them, but if a parent wants to smack a kid on the butt sometimes that is their business. I don't like spanking too much though because it does send a message of violence and fear, but sometimes fear is the only thing that gets through their thick skulls! I think you should give a warning first normally and not hit out of your own need to vent, but to get a message across to the child. Plus, some kids are such spoiled brats that their parents should spank. Overindulgence is also a form of abuse and will only harm the child in the longrun. So I do have mixed feelings on it, but I don't think it's fair to say that parents should never spank their kids.
reply to Anon sm
I can see where you are coming from but there is a simple answer - change the channel. There is plenty out there for everyone. I get sick of the ugliness myself but it pays the bills for the stations and it amuses small minds. You have to have a bigger set of values and flip the channel, change the station, put on some nice music, read something positive, take a walk, etc. There is an old song with the lyrics, "You gotta accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative and don't mess with Mister In-between." It's all out there, you don't have to pay attention to it or you will be just like "them."
I agree with anon
He seems to just be content and getting too comfy, maybe mix it up a bit. Make sure you have eye contact with him when you are speaking to him. My hubby's personality is also kind of bully-ish and tends to come across that way, especially when he is grumpy after working all day, just like I am. I tend to take care of the house, 4 kids, the animals, etc. and work full time, so I am grumpy as well. I make sure that we get a hug in and an "I love you" daily and that seems to help. The more I have taken to doing this, the more relaxed things are in the house. Try to get an hour alone every week for just the two of you. My hubby and I make sure we get 15 minutes to talk about our day every day. Try not to take offense of what he is doing, just try something different. It sounds like your in a rut.
I did it - anon from yesterday (sm)
It's all reported and official. Now I don't feel so alone. I don't want to get into a big discussion on here in case he is checking to see if I posted anything...but it's all documented by the right people and they have my back. Starting my kids in counselling there as well. I feel my backbone growing back :-) If you have replies please reply to the orginal post below...don't want it to be right up top again, just in case. Thanks for all the words of wisdom and encouragement yesterday.
i care anon,
and i am sure many others do to, but don't know how to help. i never read your previous post below until now. difficult times cause us to grow personally and adds to our character. nothing was ever gained (or made easier) by giving up. you have to hang in there. i really don't have much to offer either, except to suggest that you go the emergency room for treatment. Worry about the cost later. there are so many sources of help available, social services, etc, pantries, shelters, help phone lines. Your true source of help is God above. Learn about him, pray, devote your life to him. call a minister. I would suggest to speak to someone at the church of Christ; ask for spiritual counseling. There are many who would love the opportunity to help. i wish you the best.
I care too, anon!
Please contact me by e-mail if you just need someone to talk to....or someone to listen to you. My heart goes out to you. We are all very concerned about you and care very much, but the anonymity of this board is frustrating. We can't reach out and hug you like we would like to! Please know that we do still care and think about you often!
Thank you for responding, sm and anon...
I didn't know about not having to pay those fees. This time I really did some homework as far as the dealer's list price versus MRSP, etc. The confidence thing needs work, though. My last 3 cars lasted 10 years, so I don't get a lot of practice with this.
Yes, like I said, by all means go to Al-Anon. sm
You work the Al-Anon program for yourself and not for the alcoholic. You'll be more than glad you did. Not to necessarily save your marriage, but to save YOURSELF.
Anon poster, do you have any idea...
HOW HILARIOUS THAT WAS?! Oh my god! That post is truly a hidden jewel and I hope others read it!
I'd prefer to stay mainly anon except to say
I recently relocated to Texas (I have a few co-workers/friends that visit these boards and I really don't want them to know about my daughter's situation, it's rather embarassing to me).
I'm very angered with the school system. Not just this situation but also the special ed stuff going on with my son. The district my kids are in seems too busy to really want to deal with the parent. That's why I know if I marched down there tomorrow about my daughter's punishment, I'd get nowhere but have a headache. It's just not worth it to me right now, as I'm so very busy and with the holidays, it all stinks, ya know.
Thanks for listening.
Hey anon - I posted above but will just say a line here
Not calling Animal Control because they really are not cruel to their dog. Actually I think the dog should say and Animal Control should take them away. HA HA. Dogs not tied up and every once in awhile (every other day) it gets loose and they go running down the road yelling after it. Why they even have a dog I don't understand. Anyway...they are not cruel to it, they feed it, pay attention to it and it goes in their house at night to sleep. They are just fools that don't have any consideration for their neighbors and giving their neigbors some peace and quiet, but thanks for your post. Bout a year ago at a different location we had to call animal control. Neighbors at another place took off for 2 weeks and left their dog alone. We had to have PD come to see if something didn't happen to them inside the house. Come to find out those flaming imbilci!es went on a vacation and didn't make any arrangements for their dog. They had a freind look in but the friend showed up twice in two weeks. We offered them free pet sitting if they were planning to go away again.
Anon said 'stupider' is NOT EVEN a word.
IT IS A WORD, BOTH can be used!
Can't you even read, go back and read her post!
Well, I am European and I use British English, where English originated.
There are a lot of people who say that American English is not even English!
Glad to burst your bubble!
You are the stupidest!
True Anon, but Christ is being removed out of everything and that isn't right either.
t
Calling AA will do you no good. You need to call Al-Anon.
nm
Attention: Anon....website for stepmoms
Anon,
I read your post about your stepson. I just wanted to let you know that I belong to a wonderful website that allows stepmoms to talk about their issues, give advice, share positives thoughts, vent, etc. I have learned a lot from the wonderful ladies on there. Here is the website if your are interested.
www.stepsforstepmothers.com
thank you, anon. And this, Philly, is why your posts are inappropriate.
nm
Nobody loves you when you're down - anon from a few days ago (sm)
So after telling my story and getting some really nice encouragement from some people and getting bashed by others, and having friends and church leaders encourage me to report all that was going on in my home, I have the sinking feeling that once I did what I was told to do it was like, "good luck with that." I can't get any guarantees or promises from anyone I have talked to yet. I am worse off than I was before and scared to death.
Are you the Anon who was worried abt possibly violence or hubby taking your kids? m
Best of luck to you for taking the steps to change your life. I wish you well.
It's not that simple
Trying to leave an abusive situation on your own can be very dangerous. Some husbands get so angry that their wife DARED to leave them that they track them down and kill them, or forcibly take them back.
I don't know if Tina's situation is that serious, or how her husband would react to her leaving. Tina may not even know for sure. That's why I advised her above to talk to her local battered women's shelter before she does anything. They have experience with these situations, they can help her and her children with a place to stay and help protect them from her husband if necessary.
Yes, she needs to leave. But she needs to be SMART about it. Just picking up and leaving without a plan or without any help is NOT smart.
Not quite that simple
Having your family's name carried out is important to most people. If you posters all think a name doesn't matter, you are sadly mistaken. Names are extremely important in shaping a person's entire life.
Having a niece with the stepfather's name is not nearly as traumatic to a family as having a nephew, the only remaining male relative, take another last name.
As I said in my post, Heartbroken can name her child whatever she wants - I mean that. But, she also needs to accept the fallout for that and accept that her child will be affected by the consequences of her action.
I simply don't understand why people on this board insist on mis-reading and misinterpreting posts to suit their own attitudes. IMO, Heartbroken is an extremely self-centered person who did not consider her family's feelings at all, made a choice and then wondered why they aren't patting her on the back. It's her right to make that choice, but it's the family's right not to agree.
Sure...very simple (sm)
We had shredded sharp cheddar cheese and precooked fajita-style chicken and he broke the chicken into smaller peices and mixed in some buffalo wing sauce, put it all together on tortillas and cooked them on the George Foreman grill for about 5 minutes. You can mix in peppers and onions if you like and eat them with sour cream and salsa :-) Definitely tastes better if your child makes it for you :-)
Right. She's just that simple.
nm
Keep it simple.
I used to find myself into the same situation. Run around doing the cleaning, cooking, etc., and would work myself up into a frenzy to the point I did not really enjoy or remember the day after everyone left on Thanksgiving day. Decided not a single person expected me to do all this and certainly family wanted me to enjoy this day too. The truly gracious have no high expectations other than the coming together and honoring the day. I started to keep it simple. No new recipes from Martha, no chasing that last piece of dust, did make the lists of things to do, asked everyone to contribute to the menu and bring a dish (this creates the best variety too) and now I find I do really enjoy the day and even get excited and look forward to hosting again.
I only wish it was something as simple as that
We don't travel and everyone knows our address. They don't call to talk maybe once a year (and DH's family doesn't even send him a b-day card). I learned to live with that a long time ago even though we always sent them card. Not getting b-day cards from them is one thing, but when my mom died it just hurt a little more. In fact we used to live in Vegas and said numerous numerous times for them to come out and they could stay with us and in the 6 years we were there they never came. It would have been a 5 hour drive for them). We found out after we moved out of vegas to a different state (about a month or two later) all DHs siblings took a trip to Vegas because their cousins daughter (who they never got together with to begin with except once a year around Thanksgiving) graduated high school and the parents were throwing a party for her. So is just a little dissapointing, but have learned to live with it. This year for Xmas I went out and bought cards for them all (hard to change old habits), but I never did send them.
It is very simple and you can do it either way (sm)
You can put the chicken in a dish with teriyaki sauce and cover and bake for probably 45 minutes or so, or you can do it on the stovetop and just add a little water now and then because the sauce will cook out, even covered. Either way, it is just important to make sure it is covered while cooking, that's what makes it good...but it is very simple :)
this is funny *lol*.......el....ya know the rest
    
LOL - no, the rest were a partial
nm
Good. She is no better than the rest
of us, but she thinks she is. Isn't she 26 years old??? GROW UP. GEEZ. She is just getting too much attention and SHAME ON HER PARENTS. They are enalbing her. 45 days. GREAT. She better not get out again.
Her visitors can bring her magazines and books, or maybe she cannot read. LOL
Me too! But I cook, he does all the rest : )
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