This may be a little late but hope you read the post and it helps
Posted By: Historian on 2008-08-24
In Reply to: Where do you go for this info? - Curious about past
There are many sites you can go to. The one I frequent the most is a genealogy forum. Below are some sites I go to often...
http://genforum.genealogy.com/
http://www.cyndislist.com/
http://www.familysearch.org/eng/default.asp
http://www.familytreesearcher.com/
http://www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/
http://www.cousinconnect.com/
http://freebmd.rootsweb.com/
Then if I'm stumped sometimes I'll type in last name and the town and/or country they were born in and a whole bunch of info can be found.
I hope the above links have helped. I haven't been to this site in awhile so forgot to check back on my original message. I did find out that one of my husbands great, great (don't know how many greats) married Robert the Bruce, and I found that my grandmother's uncle was the mayor of Preston England. I've found a website that has pics of him. Also is interesting to find out what type of people our in our history. One of my husband's great uncles dressed as a woman to leave ireland (don't know why), and one of his great great uncles was an outlaw from the wild wild west days. It's great fun.
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This may be a little late but I hope you read.
I couldn't even finish reading half of the posts below. The one titled "I am just amazed by the ignorance of some people" was pretty rude and ignorant in itself. Sounded like it came from some child having a tantrum. Some people just do not have any sympathy for others (they must be missing the empathy chromosome in their gene pool), or maybe they were wronged by their parents…who knows. It is so easy for other to write nasty comments when they don’t know the entire story or life history between you and your family.
Nobody knows what anyone goes through with their family members. Not everyone has a loving “Walton” relationship with siblings, parents, etc. There are families out there struggling with relationships, sons and daughters treating parents like absolute garbage thinking they are owed something. I have a bil in his 40s and he thinks that his whole family owe him, but he never gives in return. So for anyone to tell anyone that parents owe their kids anything just because they are their kids? Well I’d have a few things to say to that.
Here’s my thoughts. If you are the happiest you have been in a long time, you have a husband that understands you better than anyone else, you are financially secure, etc. That’s all that matters. Sounds like your kids are grown enough to understand, and if they aren’t TOUGH! Please don’t let them make you feel guilty for anything.
I read a book by someone years ago and he said family is the worst for trying to pull you down. If they see you are happy and financially secure, etc and they are not, they will cut you down. So the saying goes “Misery loves company”.
I didn’t see anything in your post saying you were going to disconnect your phone, the way I read it was you were asking if you should let everything go through to the answering machine or disconnect. I would do the first. Let the answering machine pick up everything. If that doesn’t work then yes, I would disconnect the phone or get a new number. Then you will be in control of your life. Don’t let others rule your life and don’t let anyone get you down.
I love my family dearly but some of them I will put through to the answering machine and call them back. You could always write them a letter too explaining your feelings.
I say write a letter to your kids, put the calls on answering machine and take care of yourself and the ones who love you! Your too good of a person to let anyone get you down. You are entirely correct – you do not have to answer to others! Live your life on your terms, not theirs. – P.S. – don’t let the know-it-alls on the board get you down.
Hope this helps :)
I have a teenage daughter; we live in the Midwest, just outside the Twin Cities. Being fashionable can be so hard, especially on a budget. So I hope this will help... :)
As far as hair, definitely a little longer hairstyle, but not too long... yes, shaggy is in, but it has to be a groomed shaggy.
For clothing, the boys in this area in that age group are wearing anything from casual preppy with brands like Abercrombie, Hollister, and American Eagle, to skateboard punk, with brands like Volcom, etc. Also, "rock" T-shirts are in.
I support my children off my income as a QA person, so it can be hard to get those pricier brand name items. Target has a lot of nice things that are very fashionable and look like the higher end brands without the cost. Also, we have a store called Plato's Closet nearby. It is like a consignment shop, but they purchase the used clothes directly from people instead of on a pay you if it sells basis, and they are SUPER picky... they only pick the best items in great condition that are CURRENT and TRENDY. If you have something like that in your area, it is a GREAT resource... Also, TJ Maxx carries designer items at lower prices, usually they are overstocks. I buy for my daughters this way, and they get tons of compliments on their wardrobes... no one would ever know that I spent probably LESS than I would have if I bought their clothes from Walmart.
Good luck!!! Have fun with the makeover! :)
I know a lot about this - hope this helps
The first question I need to ask you is if DCFS will be keeping the case open on the 16 MO since they stepped in and the g'ma agreed to take the 3 children. This is important because if there is an open case, you will need to go through them to get legal custody (you shouldn't have a problem since the g'ma asked for your help). If you get the 16 mo, since you are within 5 generations related to the child, you would be considered kinship care, not foster care. You could then apply for TANF (Temporary Aid for Needy Families) which would give you a small stipend per month (how much depends on the state where you live). The child would be considered a household of 1 and have no income, thus qualifying for this benefit. In addition, the child would get Medicaid and WIC benefit. WIC would drop when the child starts school and then would receive free meals at school. Since you know the child has some issues, Medicaid will pay for services, including any counseling for the child and for you. You would have to cooperate with the state in getting a child support order to help pay the state back for these services.
There is a federal law that requires the state to place the kids with relatives first and special attention given to a sibling situation, trying to keep all the kids together when possible. The law also requires that the state (if a case is open) to help the parents reunite by providing drug rehab, parenting classes, regular visitations, etc. BUT, if the child(ren) are kept in the system for 15 out of 24 months and the parents are not reunified by this time, the state is to find adoptive families. They consider relatives adopting first, but if relatives won't/can't adopt (you would lose all the state benefits), they try to place with non-relative adoptions, again trying to keep all the siblings together.
You would not be considered foster care unless you went through the FC system and the classes and became certified. States give more help and money to FC parents, but you also have no guarantees that once the child becomes attached to you (and you to the child), that you would get to adopt the child after the 15/24 rule...so you risk losing the child being a FC parent.
I am in the process of adopting my granddaughter. Drugs didn't come into play until she was over 2 years old, but she remembers that her mom dumped her on me and we just finished 10 months of counseling to deal with those issues (she is 4 now).
If you want to write me privately, I'd be glad to help. It really is a challenge.
There is a website for people in this situation and I have gotten tremendous support from the people there. Go to www.grandsplace.org and read some of the resources there.
Best of luck to you. Over 5 million kids are in kinship care now...a very sad statistic.
Hope this helps. sm
http://www.myhomeremedies.com/static/fleas-and-ticks.html
you're welcome. hope it helps. nm
nm
You're welcome, Kaydie, I just hope it helps you. nm
x
Read inside for some hope....
Hello,
Divorce is a very hard thing to go through, especially for children...more so them than you or him. I also was the product of divorced parents, so I know the strain it puts on the children. I have also seen so many women with the same questions and worries. It is always a definite to try and work things out before you make the definite decision of divorce, but if there is no possible way you can stay with him, then I would say move on...now...
MT work is not as bad as you might think. I had a child and quickly became the "single mom." I was the responsible one and was the unfortunate one with no child support, but for 6 straight years (married now)we made it without him or the child support with me working as an MT, both hospital and at-home (at-home the majority of the time). I made the bills, we bought name-brand clothing and still had money to have fun together...WITHOUT HIM. I even had periods of time where I had more than the two mouths to feed for a while. The best thing about MT work is you can set a goal and as long as the work is there, you can achieve that goal, no matter what bad you have read on these boards. I made it and my son was happy, I was happy, and that is all that matters. Even after marriage, we have seen lay-offs with my husband and we still made it with me working as an MT...now 4 mouths to feed and mortgages to pay, et cetera.
You can make it as an MT on your own...with children, I promise...been there, done that.
If you would like to talk more about this...please, feel free to e-mail me.
Hope this helps!
I sure hope you are as young as you come off in this post - sm
Most men don't want to be babied, I am surprised he puts up with it. Do you hover over him, feed him, fetch his slippers, prop up his feet? Boy, as said below you do seem quite insecure. You think by taking care of him and his every whim that will make him love you more? Generally it has the opposite effect. You need to chill, take a step back. Yes it is nice to be affectionate to your husband, but if he is not like that back to you it is not the end of the world. Many guys show they care in other ways, like having a good job and being responsible, handing their paycheck to you every 2 weeks to take care of, taking you out to dinner now and then, changing the oil in your care, taking care of your car, fixing things around the house you ask them to do, picking something up at the store for you that you did not ask for (my DH picks me up the occasional bottle of wine for me, once a blue moon flowers). But if you want him to do something for, but at the same time seem to be spontaneous, give him a list of things you would love for him to do for you; bring home flowers, give you a back rub, play strip poker, whatever your fancy is, he won't know unless you tell him. Communicate! Grow up while you are at it too. As for the picking you up at school, quit begging him, either drive youself or find a different way home, he obviously does not want to pick you up if you have to grovel to get him to do it, you are just going to piss him off in the long run; unless this is a tact to get you not to go to school. If he is trying to stop you from attending and bettering yourself then I would continue to go, but again find a different way home if at all possible so you can show him you can stand on your own two feet. Independence can be empowering. You sound way to dependent on him for your emotional well-being. You are your own person, not an extension of him.
Craig Ferguson, Late Late Show
Such a great interviewer and SO handsome!
What would you do if your doc was always late with an appt and you were late arriving?
Took my daughter to our family doc today - we were late a half hour but this doc is always at least an hour behind in seeing patients. I have been going to this doc for 15 years and love him. The last time I saw him I waited over two hours. The receptionist reminded me we were late (geez, as if I didn't know that already). I apologized and gave her the reason why. She then said "they would try to fit us in." After waiting for an hour, I asked when did she think we would be seen. Another 15 minutes went by and we were called by the nurse. After waiting in the exam room for over a half hour, I took my daughter's chart with a check for our co-pay, brought both to the checkout desk, and then left. I realize emergencies do come up but I feel my time is money as I work as an IC and with sitting and waiting for the doc to show up I'm losing money. I'm already thinking of changing docs but this one is exceptional. Maybe I just need to vent. Any opinions or similar experience?
Again, if you re-read my post about how she is very
"scatterbrained" to the maximum, I find it very, very difficult to believe that there is absolutely nothing she can do about this because there is and she chooses not to. You seem to be taking the "Oh, she can't help it approach," and this is where we strongly disagree.
End of story. No more from me.
Why not read the post before going off on someone! SM
There is some great information inside. Give this woman a break!
As I read your post
I looked over at my cat napping. I am so sorry. I truely hope you can maybe go to a shelter and save another kitten and maybe it will also bring some joy into your life. Please don't think I am saying you kitten is just replaceable, but when my family dog died, the best thing for all of us was to get another dog that we knew needed a loving home that we could provide.
If you will read my post....
I am not defending abstinence only programs. I said if parents taught their kids about sex and condoms and STDs there would not be a need for a program PERIOD. In my opinion, as I said, that needs to be taught by parents, NOT by schools. And as far as standards, I don't know how much lower you can get than adultery in the White House, covering it up, committing felony perjury while in office, and the coup DE grace of those hail Mary pardons and stealing stuff on the way OUT of the White House. Oh yeah...there's a REAL standard to ascribe to. One of these days we will know the WHOLE Sandy Burglar story too. If he lives long enough and does not go the way of Vince Foster.
You did not read my post right
The law is completely behind me. They go with me, have the police there as I load up a truck, have appeared in court, spoken with the person who tells me how this works. Good gosh, would never take it upon myself just to pull up and start loading.
Read the post again
I did not ask what should I do- I asked what would others do.
When I read the post below
It looks like only 2 people voiced an objection. Ignore them. Who cares if they object. Some people do nothing but complain and attack on all of these boards. I can only hope some of these people do not behave like this in person but are embolden by their anonymity of the internet.
Read my post again and you will see
I said asked if I MIGHT have costochondritis because of the ribs that are still hurting so bad you cannot touch- this after my seeing him 2 weeks ago and it started before then. That is different from going in and stating I have that diagnosis and for some reason I have found as the years have gone on she is getting much more angry, it seems, in response to anything I say medical wise. Now I would never say anything medical but SHE brings up all the time because she is having this pain or that, going to various doctors, taking this and that and it is her talk more than mine. I said very innocently 1 day I was eating yogart because it was good for you. Talk about starting WWIII!. She asked who told you that and then started on how she had ate such and such all her life and she was ok. She had a much loved sister who was a nurse and I would be more than willing to say she would never say such barbed things to her. If I had just found out about fibro and just now seeking an answer or assistance it would be different but we are talking YEARS and I hurt severely. I told her I would rather know it was costochondritis than say other things it could be such as melanoma or bone cancer which are 2 other things I also read about and researched in trying to find anything I could do to help my own self as not getting it from the physicians I have gone to since, ah, say 2004. Maybe the best thing to do next time she starts about how do I feel, her having this ache or pain, taking such and such medicine, just say really off limits for me to talk about and just let it go at that?
Maybe you should read your own post because
you said murder- that was not mentioned before. You must be a very angry person with all that screaming going on.
If you will read my post above sm
You will see that I said exactly that - talk with the teacher and get the facts straight. I am perfectly aware of how emotional 13yo girls can be and how they can blow things out of proportion.
I still think this is a very inappropriate way for the teacher to have handled the situation. Regardless of how "worldly" kids are these days, the teacher could have discussed the situation on a one-to-one basis or with the female students only.
You should read your post
I'm sorry, but Christians don't tell people to go to "you know where." Christians don't say, not looking for advice - in other words, you don't want anyone to contradict you or criticize you - believe that is called pride.
How likely is it that all 3 sisters hate you for no reason? Have you thought about actually talkng to his sister, the one who hates you so much, about how you can make peace with each other? Doesn't mean you have to love her, but 2 adults should be able to be civil to each other.
As a Christian mother, you should set an example of love and peace for your boys - do you think you are doing that when you are ready to leave your husband over his family's feelings towards you?
If they hate you, that is on them, but if you hate them back, they have drawn you into their circle of negativity. Do not let that happen. If peace making efforts don't work out, then accept the fact that you do not get on with his family, let your sons and your husband maintain a relationship with them, and enjoy your time alone when they are with the family.
Love your children more than you hate your in-laws and do not draw your children into an eternal family squabble. You are pitting your ego against the ego of the sister and the mother - and putting your husband in an impossible situation.
did you not read my post?
"Please don't write and say a boy shouldn't be allowed to have his ears pierced"
and you are right i was asking about an AGE.
But you are 53, so that says it all, you were from a different generation and thusly I understand why you would be against it.
Read OP's post...........
That marriage is beyond repair:
1. She does not love him.
2. She wants out of the marriage.
3. She is unhappy.
4. Her children are not fond of their father.
Tell me what the pleasures are of going to bed and waking up to a person you feel nothing for.
What are the incentives because these are not hard times - this is THE END OF THE MARRIAGE.
No offense, but you need to put your bible away too.
I read the OPs post and nowhere
does she say it is irreparable. She says she does not love him. Well, at times, I don't "love" my husband either, sometimes I just want him to go fishing for a few days to leave me alone. Sometimes I am unhappy, so what? Happiness comes from within, not without. No one on God's green earth, (oh yeah, you don't like religious talk, too bad), is here to make YOU or anyone else HAPPY!! That doesn't mean this marriage cannot or will not be saved. I've been on this earth long enough to know that seasons change, feelings change, everything changes, but if this OP is looking for an excuse because she thinks there is someone out there who is going to fulfill all her needs, there IS NOT, no one can! If she is telling her children things so that they dislike their father, that is emotional abuse. All this OP has said is she is not happy, she doesn't love him. Applies to most of the population at times, and not enough reason to get divorced and hurt the kids.
Sorry, just read post above. I did not
watch until the 3rd season, so did not know they had done wildcards in the past.
I got chills when I read your post...
I have had a few similar events to yours, but nothing to that great extent. Next time it happens, just say hi. 
Try to read the post correctly, it says
the school was sent out a notice. Do you think only 1 child involved? Why would this be an across the board notice? Oh my, 1 kid and the whole school sent off for punishment. I have no sympathy for people who aren't able to read between the lines and think 1 poor kid is being picked on.
Did you read the content of my post?
?
Read the post correctly, it says
alcohol, whatever- that means which ever category one fits into, be it alcoholic, drugs, having children you cannot afford and wanting others to take care of, just not up for that. I had 2 children, never had assistance and worked hard to make sure I did have the money it took to raise them. I have said before and say again, I am most interested in helping people or animals out that are in some misfortune, get this now- that is NOT due to their own doings. You can not take drugs, you can not drink alcohol, you can not have a child by taking birth control. All of these are folks own doings and I do not want to pay for other peoples mess-ups. Understand??
Puhleez re-read my post and see....
that I said Denver is mid-west TO ME - in terrain, being like Nebraska which MOST DEFINITELY IS mid-west in terrain and in culture.
I said Denver is NOT geographically the mid-west. I know US geography and I know Denver is considered west. I am not geographically challenged.
Nuff said.
Just read your post and you and I in same situation
my husband also younger than me. I never ever knew something like this existed, the part about not knowing at retirement age which I get there 10 years before him as to what mine would be. Right now my income if both retired right now would be more; however he has an extremely good job now making twice what I do in my job at the present time so who knows? Next year I start drawing over $500 per month from a retirement fund but the way I look at it right now, that will pay my independete contractor (with maybe some more added) for the month so you cannot win for losing.
I did not read the post yesterday and sorry
because I had puppies who got sick with mucus, bloody discharge from the anus, weight loss and I lost them. This is very lethal and had I read her post would have immediately told her to not wait for appointment to see veterinarian because this onset does not let someone take that long before young puppies can die. I had in my back yard and never could let young puppies be there ever. I hope hers is ok and she was able to get some assistance with the pup.
I had to smile when I read your post. sm
Every time she complains of the itching I ask her about her breathing or if her tongue feels swollen. All mothers tend to think alike, well most of the time, maybe not Lindsay L. mom.
please read my post below to mtmomof3...n/m
 
Just read your post and my aunt the other day
was saying exactly what you were saying, was there not a good place that I could go to for a diagnosis on what my problems are. I do not know of a place like this at all. I can self-refer myself to a physician and usually do as I know about as much as the people I run into in the offices. After all my years of typing on all kinds of diseases, treatments and such, I do not need a person say 30 or more years younger than me to explain a diagnosis to me. I am sure I could tell them more than they could tell me. Just went to an urgent care place today for 1 of my problems and refused to weigh- the person taking history said I would have to because they would have to know my weight in order to give medication. I told them most medicines I know come in say 10, 15, 20 mg and I never weigh at any office and I see nephrologist, general, endocrinologist, etc. I refused to weigh, still got to see the physician and guess what, nothing prescribed! I probably have been in the medical field longer than this person on earth. on well, enough venting for the night.
I just read your post- wondering if
you thought this was me posting above (was not) because I wrote about bellpeppers below and just being silly inserted the burp thing. I know nothing about horses, names for males versus females, mothers versus fathers.
I am laughing as I read your post
you are saying Tina with her ole self is better than the younger Beyonce. Oh, now I am splitting my sides, he, he, he, he, he.....Tina used to break it down but she has got too much age on her now- she should have stayed retired and the way we remembered her.
Then dont read my post below yet!
x
O Dear! I just re-read my post - LOL
Meant "watching" Animal Planet not washing LOL
I was so glad to read your post
You stated in the beginnig that you didn't want to be flamed, and unless you are right there in the moment so many just can't understand. I personally have never had to deal with anything like this, but I do have 2 children, 17 and 15. Trust me, when Trace Atkins sings "your gonna miss this" he is so right. Our oldest will be leaving for college in a little over a year and I am already having issues. Just have fun and enjoy. I remember one year my DS played basketball on a team that only won 1 game. We took them out for ice cream after every game and celebrated like we had won. I understand what really irks you, but just think about the kids.
I read my original post again and ---
I know I said I hate the dog, but that was a figure of speech - I hate the things he does to my house!
I brought him home at 10 ounces and have put up with his doings for 4-1/2 years - he's not going anywhere!
You need to read the post again and get it straight
I said the place where we get the animals from do not "allow" adoption of this breed but having said that, I read and hear about their "sweetness" all the time on the news and papers and I tend to believe what I hear- you can go for it but I would rather stick with other breeds, thank you. Lots of pits not available through the shelters. Watch animal channel sometimes and you will see when they get pit bulls (I know in Detroit this is the case) they put them down, not able to rehome.
Again, read the post correctly
Animal shelters who take in this breed around here mostly tend to put down because they consider them vicious and unable to be rehomed. The shelters do not want the responsibility of having a dog turn on a person. It is just a fact.
I totally mis read your post. sorry
You are right. I was preaching to the converted.
sorry Mrs. R. I posted above before I read this post.
You are absolutely correct.
BTW, if you had bothered to read the post just above this
snide response from you, I stated that I was working full time. I was not sitting home doing nothing.
I read your post and smiled to myself
You said you have taken classes and it is taking the stress off a little bit when you know what to expect. In case you are thinking about natural childbirth, knew 2 people who went thru the classes but when the contractions started those classes went out the window and they opted for pain killers. I don't know if a class would give you really the insight on what to expect as far as the birthing process.
Did you read the original post at all?
She lives in an assocation. Anything to start flaming. Ridiculous. I am too old to be shock by dog poop or anything idio.. say on this board
exactly THE CONTRARY, read my post. You are very
arrogant and misinformed.
My ancestors are European.
Believe it or not.
Do you think everybody on this board is a liar?
Are you?
Stupid, stupider, stupidest ist British English
more stupid, most stupid is teh American way
Even Hemingway used STUPIDER !
BTW, I have really pretty feet, maincured an very nice. size 7 1/2.
The loser always takes refuge in insults.
How do your feet look and smell?
I bet they are cheesy.......
Anudder ? Is this some kind of American cheese?
did you not read my original post? sm
I said if they were in school I would not charge them. The other poster had a girl in school who did pay rent and that is fine if that is what they want.
You need to learn how to read posts before you jump down my throat. You got the wrong person.
did you not read my original post? sm
I said if they were in school I would not charge them. The other poster had a girl in school who did pay rent and that is fine if that is what they want.
You need to learn how to read posts before you jump down my throat. You got the wrong person.
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