Think it through sm
Posted By: starving artist on 2008-10-24
In Reply to: I'm not sure if this will work - but it might be worth - Cris
This profession can be very depressing, you can feel so isolated, sit too long which makes you gain weight, have health problems, etc. It is demanding, overhelming, and not to mention these days, very demeaning and a lot more negative "stuff." We are greatly misunderstood. No one knows but us what we put up with. You have to get yourself feeling better about "you" before you make any decisions. This economy has everyone down because it looks so bleak. In divorce everyone loses, you, the husband, the kids. Self-esteem is very important. I don't know if you have any "schools" in your area which teach massage, hair dressing, dental hygiene, etc., these people will see you as a client at almost no cost to you. You could get a massage, a new haircut, or have your teeth cleaned for zilch. I found when I got down, I would get myself a manicure at Wal-Mart for $12.00 and if I couldn't afford my regular hairdresser, a place like "Supercuts" for a quick cut and go home and set my hair myself. (Regis Salons - Google them) owns many of these places, the fancy ones in the mall, along with the walk-in el-cheapo franchises). Do all you can to uplift yourself which is hard with the hours and demands you have to put up with don't leave much time to pamper yourself. When you have had a personal and spiritual (just say a prayer is all) makeover, your self-esteem will start to return and then you can probably have a talk with the hub about how lonely and rejected you feel and how you feel you are being ignored and lonely. Don't use the word "depressed" because my husband throws a fit when I use that word. Many times I felt like you as my husband worked over 12 hour days, ate, went to bed, etc., and everything was left to me to handle. I almost felt as if he were avoiding being home. However, we have stuck together, my kids did well (I think because they were not from a broken home) and to tell the truth, I'm glad I stuck it out. I did, however, start to express my feelings more after I started to fix myself up a bit. It doesn't come easy and as you know, depression is a terrible, dark hole when you feel so alone and useless. But you are not alone and you have a good brain, you can come in here and talk, and hopefully no one will "flame you" and if it doesn't get any better, find a nice person to talk to, preferably someone your own age, who can relate.I am older, and my kids are married, but there are plenty of others with young kids out there and perhaps a therapist who your insurance will pay for. It's never easy. Wishing you all the best, and of course, a lawyer would be the last straw, but if you have to, you have to. But at least try to brighten your world yourself, you are stronger than you think. As for the money, that's tough, after you repair your relationship, perhaps you can get honest with him, don't know him, so can't judge. Don't rush into anything that will ruin your family life just yet. Plant your own garden, decorate your own soul. My favorite poem is, "Comes the Dawn" and I try to live by it, Google it and print it out. My very, very best to you. Perhaps the prayer board can help. I do not claim to be religious, but I do believe in miracles!!.You are worth it, feel better about yourself, we love you and if no one else has told you that today, we will!!  We are the "brain" behind the machine, not the machine.
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