Then I probably wouldn’t post about teen having okayed premarital sex
Posted By: Huh? on 2007-09-28
In Reply to: Oh well is right. None of your business. sm - anon
on this post. Everything is game when you post as far as I am concerned. Keep it to yourself if you don’t want others to comment. sex at 16 is statuatory rape in my state and if it had knowingly happened with my child, I would not buy them BCPs, rather had taken a legal course. I really can say what I think, thank you.
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Teen Sex
I understand your pain Mom; however, your "baby girl" is a young woman who is sexually active now. These are the statistics for teen sex today:
 Students who have had intercourse in highschool:
 40% of ninth graders
47% of tenth graders
57% of eleventh graders
72% of twelvth graders
Keep the lines of communication open. You cannot "regulate" your daughter's sex life. If you try, you will be fighting a losing battle. They will sneak around and find places to "do it." Encourage your daughter to have a female exam, Pap, and testing for STDs because that is the responsible thing ALL sexually active people should do today - not because she is "bad" or needs to be "taught a lesson about the seriousness of her actions." Trust that you have done a good job in raising her. Continue to be there for her.
Lilly
TEEN DRIVING
I just dropped you an email.
teen fashion
OK, I have a teenage daughter who tells me "shaggy" hair is in for boys--nothing too clean cut. Clothes wise, American Eagle and the Buckle have trendy stuff. T-shirts with graphic designs, artsy, music related, kind of off the wall bands are popular--check out Target or Kohls for these, too. Hemp jewelry, dark-colored sneakers, pants that don't show your ankles when you sit down. Sagging is NOT hip, but not skin tight either. Don't tuck the shirts in. Just neat, but casual.
Hope this gives you an idea what to look for. Good luck!
teen clothes
For boys (my younest son is almost 16) - American eagle is hugely popular around here. My son also likes Abercrombie but they are so ridiculously expensive. Dockers shorts - lots of good shorts at Kohl's if you have one near you. Also if he has a favorite band/bands - order some of their graphic T shirts online, let him express his personality. Kids that age love those kind of T shirts.
Those of you with teen drivers....
...how did you handle speeding tickets, punishment wise? Take away their keys for XXX amount of time, ignore the first offense, ground them, etc.
teen drivers
I made my son pay his own ticket which for him was the punishment. I have to admit I speed so we didn't ground him or anything. Hasn't happened since.
Teen driver
I made my son pay his own tickets as well. He might have had a couple, total, but he soon learned. He's 21 now.
Thank you to all; I have a teen here in my complex who wants to do it.
Thank you.
teen driver
When my daughter got her license I gave her my older vehicle and she was responsible for gas and insurance. She paid for her repairs, but I helped if they were very high. My insurance agent told me to put her on her own policy so I would not get sued if she had an accident and my rates would not be affected by her driving record. By her living in my home she was able to get my discounts, ie., two car discount, different safety features on her vehicle, and home being insured. This was a wise choice as she had two small accidents within a year and is now paying high risk and my rates didn't change, but my insurance would have gone from $300 to $2600 every six months if she were on my policy. She hated having to pay since all her friends' parents were footing the whole bill, but now in college she appreciates it because she knows how to pay bills and budget her money while her friends are always bouncing checks or calling mom and dad for money.
Teen Troubles
Can you say, "Dr. Phil?" If you are that desperate, I would definitely consider it.
Teen fashion emergency! :) SM
OK, please help if you can. My son and I are clueless when it comes to "cool" fashions. His friends sorta teased him today and said he is really uncool (uncool haircut, clothes, shoes). They jokingly said they were going to do an extreme makeover on him. I laughed at first, but then thought, "Hey! That's not half bad!" He is starting high school in the fall, and I would like to help him with a makeover this summer. He is a nice looking kid, just got his braces off (so has a really nice smile), a little bit on the husky side, but his clothes and shoes are Walmart specials. He is just a basic "boy" hair cut.
What is "cool" for boys? Where should we shop? What kind of haircut is cool for a 15-year-old boy? I'm so clueless!
Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated!
 Chickadee
I too met my "father" as a teen/adult.
I had always asked questions. My mom was always very honest when she felt we could handle it about why they broke up (he was abusive). He contacted my brother and me when I was 16. I met him, found out he wasn't my "dad" since that was someone who would have at least been there for me when I needed him or to even know so I consider my "father" as a sperm donor. I am glad I did meet him and have closure (like someone else mentioned) because I think I would have always been curious but I didn't pursue a relationship with him. My father-in-law has been a real dad to me but my blood relative father is not a dad.
I agree with what someone mentioned too that your mom may not have been totally honest, wanting you to not want to pursue meeting him. I was lucky, my mom never badmouthed him when we were growing up even when we had all these questions about him, why they didn't stay married, what it would be like if they had stayed together and everything else. I realize now of course my mom was smart to have gotten out at the beginning. Once an abuser always an abuser so I'm relieved now. If you want to talk about it more let me know and I'll send you my e-mail.
JMO, but having been a very wild teen at one time...
you really should intervene. Your sister has a right to know, it is her child after all, and to turn a blind eye and pretend it does not exist does your niece more harm than good. Take it from one who has been there, if someone would have done the same for me I would have been angry, but looking back now it would have changed my life tremendously. A lot of young girls today really need some direction, look at the role models they have out there, most of them are nothing to brag about! Good luck to you, you sound like a loving and caring auntie!
I have two teen drivers on my insurance.
One is away at college and is not allowed to have a car on campus. Since he's paying for, or has earned scholarships for a good portion of his tuition, we pick up his car insurance as a secondary driver on a very old Toyota that he inherited from his grandfather. My second son has had his license for only two weeks. At the current time, as he is a good student, responsible and working very hard at school and on some extracurricular activities, we pick up his insurance as a secondary driver, as well. So far, so good. No one has had any moving violations or dings. In fact, I'm 46 and have never had a moving violation and have only gotten two parking tickets (deserved).
We're very serious here about driving responsibility. The boys know that one speeding ticket and we drop them from our insurance like hot potatoes. No insurance, no driving, no car. No warning. Mess up once, and they don't get back behind the wheel on our dime ever. The boys also know that their father and I mean what we say. We're not rich, but we are happy to be able to help our sons as they work toward their futures. But we won't pay high insurance fees because of their stupidity. More importantly, we've been to too many funerals for young people who died in accidents caused by speeding. I think that because of this, our boys seem to have taken their driving responsibilities/privileges very seriously.
update on teen drama
I posted before about how my son's ex-girlfriend was sabotaging him receiving an invitation to Sadie Hawkins dance. The girl that "changed her mind" can't find another date because it is too close to time.
So she follows my son all over the place, but she has to be loyal to the "Queen Bee" and doesn't seem to have the courage to ask him again.
Four years is a long time to be incarcerated in high school. Maybe he will get an A in chemistry instead!
Teen Heart Throbs
Who was your celebrity teen heart throb?
Mine has always been Donny Osmond. I really liked David Cassidy too.
Teen heart throbs
First was probably David Cassidy. Too many more to mention. LOL.
I've had 2 teen boys and my suggestion is to
take him to SuperCuts where for really cheap you can get him a hip cut. Have him look at the books/magazines and then ask the stylist for her opinion depending on his face structure, hair type, etc. Next, I would go to Target for his clothes - they are a little more expensive but classy - WalMart is pretty well hated by all teens.... he would probably rather have fewer shirts and pants and have them be a little nicer...... and shop for some bargain shoes - Famous Footwear - or check sales and don't forget the internet!! JCPenney is great also - almost forgot about them!!
Great teen stores. They are owned by the same ... SM
establishment (for lack of a better word LOL). Gap is the more expensive, higher end, clothing. Old Navy is less expensive and is what the kids around here wear the most of. Either is really good but Old Navy goes a lot further in your budget.
Maurice's is good and not so high priced, if you have one of those nearby. And don't forget about the old standbys like Macy's, Penney's, Sears, and Belk's if these are in your area of the country.
I feel like if I don't change the course now then I will have problems when he is a teen (sm)
I am hoping if I can find a way to alter his course, maybe it can go in a different direction. I know everyone has their own personality, but I think as parents it is our job to do our best to raise them to be the best adults they can be, and to give them a chance at having a happy adult life. If I just ignore it, I think I would not be doing my job as a mom.
When I was a teen & my sister was 10, my parents banned
We got around that one pretty easily. At 10:00 or so, we'd each yawn, say goodnight, and go to bed. Our parents usually followed not long after. At 11:30 I'd get up, wake up my sister, and we'd sneak back out to the living room to watch it with the sound way down. My parent's bedroom was back at the other end of the house, so they couldn't hear it or see the light from the TV. We never got caught, either! Hehe
Well, I was not on a teen-role model, not in the public eye
no one was looking to me and I got myself into trouble and had more sense than to know I wanted to nor could I raise a child at my age(by the way, not 16, older). I assumed responsibility because I took care of things, did not regret then nor now and never have. She, from what I hear, did not tell her mother until well past the time she could have gotten an abortion, sounds like she wanted to be pregnant. I have absolutely no regrets about things I have done in the past.
I'm not a teen, far from it but I get SVT a couple of times a year sm
I usually get it in the middle of the night and it usually lasts about 4 hours. I am prescribed 40 mg of verapamil, which I take 1 at the onset and then 1 every hour until it eases up. I usually end up taking about 4 or 5. That works for me, but then I'm usually wiped out for a few hours afterwards.
My first experience where this lasted more than a few minutes, I went to the ER and they gave me 6 mg of adenosine which converted me. They were able to see the SVT on my EKG, so the cardiologist was able to correctly treat me. They have offered me other treatment options, such as electrophysiology ablation, but since I only get it a couple of times a year, I'm not at the point where I want it treated surgically.
Good luck.
I am not letting my young teen marry an old man.
x
Next door neighbor's teen having parties
I am sooo sick of the next door neighbors. It is a mom and 2 teenage daughters. They have been having a party going on 5 days now. Tons of cars over partially blocking our driveway, loud talking and laughter, underage drinking, throwing their litter (beer cans) onto our side of the yard...etc. I just want to sit out on my porch and not have a gang of teens a few feet away. What kind of mom lets this kind of thing go on and these kids (boys and girls) have spent the night every night. I am sick of it. I thought it would end with today being Monday and the holiday weekend being over. But they continue to hang out over there. I just want peace and quiet like it is usually here. What would you guys do? I would love to call the cops on them but have never done anything like that before. I just feel like this is ridiculous especially since we live in apartment homes and not houses so our duplexes are very close together. 
I think what you are experiencing is all normal teen behavior. sm
I can't think of anyone that I hung around with in my teens that didn't run away. Trust me ---- they ALWAYS COME BACK.
OMG, we did that with our teen kids one year. Unavoidable. Miserable
s
I'd give the teen whatever you spend on shirts for the younger one &
s
Aqua-Teen Hunger Force's Ignot and Err.
I could never explain the cartoon...it's something you have to see to believe and have an incredibly warped sense of humor to enjoy.
My teen daughter has this, too. We're trying the dermatologist next. OTC stuff isn't cutting i
v
Teen girls accused of setting kitten on fire (sm)
This article made my stomach roll. Maximum penalty (yeah, right) is 3 years in solitary confinement. Personally, I think they should be publically whipped until they scream and then whipped until they stop screaming...but that's just me.
"A boy and his friend said they saw the smoke and heard the cat shrieking while the girls laughed."
http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/13708685/detail.html?rss=dgo&psp=news
(cut and paste into your browser to read article)
Hubs did window cleaning as a teen & always got swamped w/folks wanting them
s
LOL-I wouldn't think twice about getting the pup sm
When I lost my cocker 2 years I was looking around for another 2 weeks later. I couldn't stand the thought of not having my own dog. Sure, hubby has his Golden, but my faves are cockers and I absolutely fell in love with my new guy's face on the internet. We drove 2 days later about 40 miles and picked him up. I melted when I saw his little face cocking to the side when I spoke to him. Of course, I still miss my other dog and my new one looks just like her, only the personalities are SO different. And the Golden finally got his playmate. He's just like a pup again. When we first introduced the two, we did it real gradual and took our time with it. The new pup was VERY feisty and the Golden wasn't used to that with before. LOL-my other cocker was 14 when she died. She didn't play at all, only slept and ate. Big change for the Golden.
wouldn't do it...
I lived in a mobile home for 9 years before we moved up to a house. I would never go backwards. You're still going to end up paying more. Like others have said, they do depreciate, not appreciate. Lot rent goes up and up and up each year (at least for us it did, started at 125 and ended up at 269 in 9 years). They are definitely not built well, at least ours wasn't and we supposedly had a better made one. Good luck with your decision.
I wouldn't do it...
I wouldn't, either. I have a 4-year-old daughter who knows why I wear a bra and understands she will one day when she's a young woman. I'm sure the girls who do have bras so young are a little heavier, which brings on earlier development. I can understand that then. When we walk in a store, she loves to look at all the pretty pink pajamas and clothes, but she knows she can only look. I'll say maybe Santa will bring her something, but I won't allow her to beg me for something. My boys don't, either. My husband and I tell them before going to the store exactly what we are getting and that's it. I think 5 is too young for a bra. Same thing for pierced earrings, not until she's old enough to understand them and how to take care of them. This is a gimmie-gimmie world, but it's up to us parents.
Good luck!
I wouldn't...
No way would I invite myself and my family to stay at someone else's house. It'd be way uncomfortable and unpleasant, IMHO...if he insists, make him call and ask them.
I wouldn't eat it
Left over food should be refrigerated within 2 hours, otherwise bacteria and such can start growing and it is unsafe to eat
I would not appreciate it, but I wouldn't be mad about it.
My golden is on a strict diet of dry dog food only. Any sort of table food or "human" food is a no-no. She has allergies to some "people" food. That would be the only reason I would not appreciate anyone feeding her, but then again, I don't leave her outside very long. She is a family dog and a house dog.
Well, which one do you like better? I wouldn't put too much sm
emphasis in the relationship of the man who isn't as interested in you. If he's acting like that now it might be a sign that he's not ready, has ulterior motives, or just not that into you. Good luck!
I wouldn't do it
I'm pretty sure the hospital can't actually take anything from him. In his shoes and being elderly, before I did any of that stuff I would look into reverse mortgage. He could perhaps get enough to pay all of it or very close and then make payments on the remainder.
Thanks! That's why I wouldn't want
it to be a set date - just in case I didn't have the funds in there.
No, I wouldn't.
While you may know these boys like they were your own, what if they have 'friends' that show up with other ideas? Also, what about her reputation? I know times have 'changed' but having a reputation to be proud of as your daughter gets older is definitely something that has not changed. I wish you the best with this.
He probably wouldn't want you either.
x
In this day and age, I wouldn't do it.
Plus, it sounds like people will know since you know the bus driver. You just never know who will be lurking. I'm sorry, but I trust no one. It is worth it to pay a neighbor or someone else until the child is at least a teenager. Sorry, but my daughter is in 3rd grade, she'll be 9 in January, and I would not leave her here for an hour by herself especially if the bus driver knew it. JMO.
I wouldn't do it s/m
rather be safe than sorry. I have a third grader as well and there is no way I would let him stay home alone. He will be nine in March. I don't even leave him home alone to run to the store, which is 10 minutes away. We live in the country, but it wouldn't matter where I lived. Things happen so fast and you just never know. It isn't just about not trusting your child, but trusting others as well. What if a solicter was walking up to the house at the same time as your child? What if someone was breaking into your house as your child walked through the door (this actually happened to my neighbors! The boy was 14 and scared out of his mind. He walked into the house and ran out when he realized what was happening.)
I also have a 19, 17, almost 9 and 7 year old. I think my oldest was around 13 when I first let him stay home alone, but it was for short periods of time and we went over so many things. What to do in case of a fire, answering the door and phone, etc.
I wouldn't tell them anything.
I don't think your kids will say, "Thanks, mom! That's inspiring and enlightening. I will definitely not make the same mistakes that you made."
It's more likely that they'll someday say, "You did it, and everything turned out just fine. So why can't I?"
Well, he sure wouldn't....sm
....sleep in my bed or do his laundry with mine! :D :D
I wouldn't know....sm
I can't afford a cleaning lady on MT pay. You must have a better paying job than I do.
I would be annoyed too if my stuff got broke.
I wouldn't do it.
Something's up with this guy and you don't know what it is. This kind of thing always comes back to bite you in the butt. I think it's an odd request and he's hiding something.
I wouldn't send it and this is why . . .
People like this get off on how they are hurting people. She can see in your email that you are hurting, and although it is a valiant and kind effort on your part, she will see it as a sign of weakness and groveling, which is what would delight her.
I'm so sorry you're put in this situation. You sound like a kind, gentle person and you certainly don't deserve the way she treats you.
The only thing I can suggest is to be around her as little as possible (family gatherings, traditions, etc.) and always choose to be in another room, on the opposite end of the dinner table, etc., as physically far away from her as possible.
Continue to be pleasant, don't stoop to her level, and you don't owe her an apology for anything.
She's the one with the problem, not you.
I wouldn't worry too much!
My husband and I, when we first got married, would go to Bath and Body Works and pick out scents that we both liked. It was something that we both enjoyed. I wouldn't put too much into it. Offer to rub some lotion on his back after his bath or hop in the tub with him!
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