The woman has children who are supposed to be caring for her
Posted By: Rad MT on 2007-07-12
In Reply to: you need to take responsibility for getting this woman - help through social services-no message
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I know a young woman with six children who have six different fathers and just
announced she is pregnant with her 7th. She is 28, does not work, has never worked. One of the fathers has been in prison and she is breaking up with the father of her one on the way so she can reconcile with him because he's getting out of prison. She is on welfare, food stamps, any and all government assistance available to her.
Now, I realize that these day with the unemployment rate rising, there are families that need help and I think it is wonderful that this help is available to them. Sixteen years ago when I was pregnant with my son, I had a part time job at a bank with no insurance and my husband at that time was out of work, so I got on Medicaid and food stamps. However, I felt ashamed that I had to do this and my goal was to get off of assistance as soon as I possibly could.
Nowadays, it seems there are way too many irresponsible, unmotivated, and downright lazy people out there shamelessly living off the government teat. I think it is totally irresponsible to have 6 or 7 kids. The only people who can afford to feed a family of 8 are those in a higher tax bracket than I. And the truth is the people who have very large families usually cannot afford it.
I don't know, this post down below has me thinking. What are your thoughts, woman to woman. sm
If your spouse came to you and said he was having an affair, would you be more upset if it was with a male or female? For me, definitely a female! If it were male then I would think that it had absolutely nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. I would be devastated if he were with another woman. Another poster below said she would be more upset if he were found with a male. What about you?
Thank you for caring for that poor dog. sm
She must have been neglected for a long time.
With her coughing up mucus, she probably has pneumonia and needs antibiotics. She also needs dental work.
You might want to feed her some ground beef and rice. You should boil the beef, not fry it (no seasonings)and add it to cooked rice that has no seasonings. This is what my vet prescribed when one of my dogs was sick. It should be easy for her to eat this. But please get her to a vet ASAP.
She probably has some kind of allergy that is causing her to chew herself. Or she might be doing that because her teeth hurt her.
Thanks for caring so much and for passing that along! NM
thank you all for the advice and caring.....sm
I knew I was doing the right thing posting here. All of the MTs I have spoken to on this site have been really kind.
I found out about the cheating when the other woman's husband called our house last night, and my husband told me first thing this morning so that I could hear it from him instead of the other guy. I have since talked to the other husband and the wife says that my husband wanted it to go further, but she stopped it. I think she is just trying to save her a@@. The other husband read some e-mails to me that they had passed back and forth together, and it sounds to me like there was more going on. I also called my cell phone company today to get the past few months details on his phone so I can see just how much they were talking. My husband said they didn't really talk that often (the CSR checked through the records and found multiple calls on multiple days. She was very nice, helpful, and encouraging).
We have 2 small children (4½ and 2½ girls) and I feel like I owe it to them to try and find a way to work through this. He has agreed to counseling, but I don't know at this point how I want this all to turn out. I'm still just too numb, shocked, angry, etc. to have thought it out that far.
Thanks again for all of your advice and opinions. There is a lot to be learned from other peoples experiences. Just pray for strength for me to get through the holidays without having a nervous breakdown or a murder charge.
God bless you for caring sm
We have kept our dogs for up to 16-17, until it would have been inhumane to let them suffer, so I can feel your pain. I cried more over my dogs than I did for family as the first one was born right here in our home as well and we treat our animals as one of us. Unless one is an animal lover, others cannot understand why you could be so heartbroken. My husband took it hard as well and we were both so distraught it was worse than a human death. We had ignorant people say ignorant things such as, "it's only a dog," etc. Be comforted in knowing that those of us who love animals feel your pain. It will take a long time to get over. I could not walk past the pet food aisle without tears. The only answer to my pain was guess what? Another pet if possible. Bless you, we are here to talk. Those of us who love animals know what you've been through. You feel helpless, I'm sure, but you did your best.
Thank you for caring. It means a lot.
ss
Thank you all for caring. I have an appointment on
Thursday to see a Christian psychologist at a local church. I have been thinking of attending this church for some time, and when I have my appointment it might be a foot in the door so to speak. Thank you again for your kind words. My post was just another way of reaching out. When I get terribly depressed I tend to internalize everything and avoid people. I really need to sit down with someone and just unload. I think this is a step in the right direction.
Bless your heart for caring!
t
Anyone here caring for aging parents?
Whoof. This is so very hard. My mother is/was a brilliant educator, highly respected in her field.
We are walking a very thin line these days. I just hate it, and I do not use that word often.
We have found an assisted living facility that she likes, and I do as well. But, she is not liking the fact that she must decide. Oh, it is so very hard.
She was quite ill back in the summer, went to a nursing home for therapy (to recover from pneumonia), and then home. She is failing, and not going "gentle into that good night." She wants so very much to live on her own, but it is such a struggle. I am afraid for her, and I am so very tired.
Is anyone else living with this? If so, what do you do? I have read a thousand articles, talked with so many specialists, and still am lost.
I can't thank you all enough for your support, information, and caring..sm
You have really uplifted me a bit, and we will continue to search for answers and pray to do the right thing. She is so loved!! And God Bless each and every one of you, and your loved ones, for your kind notes and posts, SO APPRECIATED!!!
but short on compassion and caring.
x
Thanks for being a caring person. Please don't change.-nm
xx
You sound like a very caring and kind person
I'm definitely not going to flame you, but I'm wondering if you actually put stuff *inside* the mailbox because that is against the law. I would appreciate the thought, but I really wouldn't like someone going in my mailbox besides my mail carrier.
My neighbors across the street have the most beautiful lights. I just moved here from the sticks and it was SO cool to be able to look outside my window every night and look at their array. I don't see them because our schedules are different, so I thought about mailing them a thank you card. But it really would not be appropriate to just pop it in the box.
Anyhow, please don't take offense, but maybe some of the looks you are getting is the mailbox thing. I'm not assuming or anything, just wanted to give you a heads up.
I sincerely hope you feel better :-)
I had that problem with a neighbor, only they weren't caring
constantly barking. I would put water out for the dog and sometimes feed the dog because it was being neglected. Finally, when no one was looking I had the dog come with me and I took it over to my moms house and found the dog a really loving home. My bad? I don't care, I knew the dog was being well taken care of. The lady I gave him too just doted on him and he was no longer neglected.
Even though a dog is being fed and given water doesn't mean it isn't being neglected. Animal neglect is a form of abuse. If you call anyone, don't call Animal Control. Call the Humane Society or some other entity who can take the animal so it won't end up being put to sleep. It's not the dogs fault that the owner neglects him.
confidence of not caring what other people who don't matter think
nm
Thanks to all for caring. I will use Resolve and update on this board SM
to let you know. It happened so quickly, and I guess that is what happens when you snack in the living room. I am used to sometimes putting my glass or bowl on the floor when I am finished eating. This time I paid a high price. I think it may at least take some of the stain out, and thank God it was one of my smaller pans. As Cat said, a throw rug is an option as well.
Have a great Thanksgiving! I am working, but will have the afternoon with my family.
Well it sounds good but a true caring
and giving person that gives from the heart and not merely to impress would also probably not have thrown a post like that in the middle of ones where people are obviously having great financial difficulties. LOL. Sometimes ya just gotta laugh.
Bless you all that are having money problems and I hope things get better for you soon. And, remember, this too shall pass.
You are a caring, loving person. That has been obvious SM
from your posts for a long time to me. You are doing the right thing and staying on top of this. With your close eye and caring and with professionals on board I think your son has a bright future. Keep us informed. 
woman to woman talk sm
This has nothing to do with being a christian, it has more to do with group dynamics. I have to deal with it all the time with 6 women in an in-law situation. They are narrow-minded Bible-thumping bigots.I happen to be of another "denomination" and I do attend every function of theirs, weddings, funerals, all of it, receive their communion. I have had my parents die, lost my younger sister and many things happen where they could have reciprocated, yet they will not "step foot" in my church. So where is all their faith, they certainly are not practicing the do unto others. I can relate, it is a horrible way to live. Thank God, I had psychology courses and know about group dynamics, I am in the middle of a herd mentality. I could go on forever, they even have "interventions" when someone in their family wants to marry or date someone not from their denomination. They are awful. I know your pain! It's not your imagination, they hide behind their cohesive "numbers game," one speaks and all the others agree in unison. No one has a chance against this mob. It's tough to be your own person, lots of tears. And guys think it's all in our heads - NOT! Hang in, perhaps you'll have a Divine Intervention somehow.
Kangaroo. cat woman or wonder woman?
x
Children having children not a new thing, where do you live?
My son, who is now in his early 40s, told me years ago when in high school about all the teenage mothers that were at his school and said they brought the babies to school, and he seemed to think it was like the girls having playdolls like when you were little. This is not new and apparently folks think alright to have their children sans marriage, be it preteens, teens or adults. I guess my years alone do not make me shocked at anything anymore. Others talk about this job being isolated and your post says some of this if you were shocked at what the son said.
I should mention that I am 42, have 2 children and done with having children. nm
nm
You must a) not have children or b) your children are young
I don’t see them as being spoiled- I see lots of kids in the age group of one (30+) who are totally in the me scene, not just the 1 I have- she married and her husband same - a me type person. The other not spoiled but just got nasty when he did not get the money left to me and he thought he should. Just to think, this was my chosen 1 if I had to choose. Oh well, live and let live is the way I see things now.
And what was she supposed to do
tell her to get back on the boat to her face? Give me a break, who hasn't done something similar? Who hasn't made a nasty remark about an aquantaince or neighbor and then smiled and waved when they saw them again? You people really crack me up. Most of you are women. Women gossip. Admit it and get over your holier-than-thou selves. lol
How sad that you think everyone is supposed to think like you do
Very arrogant IMO.
being an IC, you are SUPPOSED to be able to--sm
set your own hours. Had I been asked, I may have volunteered to work, as I have no one at home, but I did have plans to spend some time with my mother and my grown children for various functions. I was not asked and when I emailed and said what days and times I would be available to work this holiday, I was told the work needed to be returned to the doctors by Tuesday, so I did not have a choice but to get it done. Perhaps there will be a *little extra* charge on my invoice this next two weeks, as well. I also have been working every weekend for the past month, seven days a week, and I am pretty burnt out, as well. and yes, I have asked for the weekend off many times, in case someone mentions it, and have been sent work anyway. I am really getting tired of being treated this way. I know I have to take a stand, and soon. I cannot continue to work seven days a week and holidays, for my own health and sanity. Something has to change, and soon. I have told my employer this, but it does not seem to make any difference to her. thanks again for listening. ks
Is this supposed to mean something
Ok, so what is SP supposed to do then?
All of you gals are smart enough to know that teenagers are going to do what teenagers want to do and there is only so much talking/preaching/begging a parent can do about doing the right thing.
No, Bristol should not have gotten pregnant, that was stupid but it was her stupid mistake, not SP's and SP and her husband are being supportive parents. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that! BTW, I speak from experience, I did the same thing to my parents when I was 20 and it had absolutely nothing to do with what they did or did not say to me regarding sex. It was my choice and I knew the consequences. They were supportive of me and showed me mercy that I did not deserve.
What is this supposed to mean?...sm
Push 1 for English
Push 2 for Spanish,
so what? Hispanics are the largest minority in this country, therefore.
BTW, I am NOT Spanish, but 'Push 1 for English' does not bother me at all!
How narrow minded.
Am I really supposed to tip
At the new pizza place I go to, I call to order my pizza, then go to pick it up twenty minutes later. The man behind the counter hands me the pizza and takes my money. He has a tip jar on the counter. Am I cheap if I don't tip for this? I worked a lot harder for my customers in the gift shop, and I never asked for tips for that.
Well Mary was only supposed to be 13-14 and . . .
not everybody believes it was an immaculate conception.
How about *she was suppose to*, when it should be supposed to : )
x
I don't get this from her note, her DH was supposed -sm
to be helping with the kids so she could bring home money. I am sure he has no problem spending any money she makes, but he does not want to be inconvenienced in the course of her making the money. I know, I have the same problem but not as bad as she does. My older daughter did not even know she had a dad basically until she was about 19 months old, then my DH had absolutely no choice but to help as I gave birth to our second daughter. At that point he'd probably only changed 2 diapers. But with kid #2 he helped more than he did with the first one, but still under some duress. To this day he still won't brush their hair, or supervise/help with teeth brushing (he says he doesn't know how to do it, well he does it himself so where is the problem), they are 6 and 8 now. You never feel pestered by your kids, you get on the phone and instantly they want you and nag you to death until you either lock yourself in the bathroom or get off the phone, then they don't want/need you anymore. Yes, I feel pestered sometimes, doesn't mean I don't want to take care of my children, I'd die for them if necessary. The poster is frustrated, obviously being verbally abused and has a jerk for a DH. I can relate and I am sure many others can too. It is hard to be supermom, work, clean, take care of the kids/house, make DH happy, everyone but you comes first, and then when the DH has to actually help out boy you'd think you were cutting off his leg. Well, mine is not like that now, but he used to be. Now he is good about it and likes his time with the kids on his own but they are older now and easier to deal with. They still can drive you nuts though. I hope she can somehow get him to turn around, maybe stop working for 2 weeks and when he sees the money is not coming in maybe he will realize just how important it is that she have the time to work without interuptions and pitch in some to lighten her load.
Keep calling them, they are supposed to pay - sm
for the vet bills, granted that is of little solace but you should not have to pay for their negligence.
I know this is supposed to be about BFing
with you. You could smother them with your big 1/2 dollar nipples ya' got going there! LOL - sorry had to add to this one! I don't really care if you BF or not, but once the baby can hold a cup or be potty-trained no less (most are starting to potty train now by 2), they SHOULD NOT be feeding from a woman's breast especially someone else's child! That's disgusting! If he/she is going on the potty, they are going on the cup! 
Inside this was supposed to say
thud
but I put it inside brackets so it disappeared. I'll try it with spaces:
< thud >
Darn! How are we supposed to
be able to notice if we get cancer with never-ending night sweats from hormonal changes??
I believe your witnesses are not supposed - sm
to be beneficiaries of the will. As for 2 witnesses, I always thought it was 1 witness. But I just looked at my will and it had 2 witnesses, 1 was the lawyer and the other someone from his staff. Banks notorize too, I'd call your bank and ask if they would witness the will and notorize it too. That would be the easier route I would think, and I am sure they are probably used to such requests.
above supposed to say - you crack me up!! nm
nm
Dachshunds are supposed to be
odor-free, so there is something going on, possibly yeast or seborrhea or teeth or ears or something. I'd say it's time for a visit to the vet.
How am I supposed to get work done now!
This site is hilarious. I'm only up to page 12.
First 800,000 supposed to be deposited
My DH's SSN ends in 03, so I'm hoping we'll get ours today. Nothing yet. We did do direct deposit for our tax refund too.
Sorry, this was supposed to be for Gary, but
your kitties are precious, too!! Aren't they all just messes? Gotta love 'em! 
women are supposed to have
babies, not litters.
My dad was supposed to do the same thing - sm
but I don't think he is now that he is remarried and had become "reborn", now goes to church, bible study and sings in his church choir....all after not going to church since 1971. He rediscovered religion again at about age 65, would read the bible some, but really got back into when he met my stepmother 4 years ago. He is 74 now. So I expect my stepmom will pull out all the stops for his funeral, but that is her preogative as she will be footing the bill. I think they are the biggest waste of money personally. I find it amusing the when people get closer to their mortality they turn to religion. My DH and I plan for cremation and having our ashes scattered nearby. No funeral, no service. My DH absolute hates funerals so it would be kind of silly for him to have one. I know his parents are having them and being buried at a Veteran's cemetary near where they live. His dad is a vet of the Korean war so they both get free burials there. Of course they will still funeral home costs, as I know they will want viewings though most of their friends and family are dead or have moved from the area so there won't be too many people to attend when the time comes. I will have a heck of a time making him go to his own parent's funeral when the time comes.
Oops! This was supposed to be in...
...response to the question about debit cards without bank involvement.
Sorry. 
That's supposed to be quote. Sorry.
nm
that's supposed to be ൺ" this
year
Someone who was supposed to be MJs friend has
His best buddy. The one who stood up for him in court.
Do this --- put pictures of his best buddy and MJs oldest son and daughter side by side. Umm, coincidental that they look like him?
Just compare the kids eyes and nose with MJs best buddie's. Look up a family picture of his best bud's siblings all together when they were kids. Put MJs kids next to it.
Sorry, but there is a huge family resemblence there with MJs kids. Especially MJs daughter looks just like his old friend's sister when she was a kid. Look of a pic of both of them at the same age and put them together. Wow.
Who am I talking about? Remember his friend, Macaulay Culkin? He's been aaaaawful quiet. I think Macaulay did his friend a BIG favor. Wonder why he hasn't issued a statement yet?
I'm just sayin.
okay...so it is supposed to conserve energy--sm
now could you possibly explain to me HOW it is supposed to conserve energy?? All they are doing is taking an hour off the morning and putting it onto the evening. So, it is still dark in the am when you get up and you turn on a light to see, but you don't have to turn one on until later in the evening because it is still light out. So, in my baffled mind...how does this make any difference????
to the other poster who's smart alarm clock DID change, do you know what brand it is??? Mine did not change this time, but it HAS changed with daylight savings time in the past. just curious.
thanks.
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