The problem with spanking (For me) is that
Posted By: MT on 2007-12-07
In Reply to: Your problem is - Kids!
my kids don't seem to think it's a big deal. My husband piped in because I don't hit hard enough (true perhaps, I value my hands!). I don't want to be swinging a bat though! I suppose an inexperienced spanker should just find an alternative punishment.
So I guess I mean spanking is OK for certain circumstances IF your hand gives a good smack!
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Spanking.
spanking versus ISS
Here is a quick question for all of you that think that the spanking from the school is okay and before any of you make any snap judgements, I was spanked as a child and when my children were smaller, they too were spanked(BY THEIR PARENTS)....Do you all realize that this school that uses these "swats" as punishment, would be on the phone immediately if they saw you or found out that you "swatted" that same child as punishment for deeds done wrong at home? Since nowadays they want to tell you what you can and cannot do as a parent to acutally parent your child( and then of course complain about said kids nowadays), that by alloing them to do something to your child that they would gladly report you for is quite ridiculous.
How long is this ISS. For five tardies..it sure as heck shouldn't be a whole day or even a half day..it should be something realistic. Yes, I do know what it is like to have to deal with school principals who are jerks, just remember that this is your child and not theirs and that it is your job to look out for them.
If you really feel that just to get this over with right now, you want to let them swat her, that is your choice but since she is so obviously not interested in ISS, I would definitely make sure that she and the school knows that this is a one time pass and yes, I too would either make her do some work around the house or take something away if only for the hassle.
Btw, five tardies in 4 or 5 months is really not that terrible IMO. That is about one a month. My goodness, we all assumed it was cause she talks anyone think that maybe the girl had to use the bathroom during her time of the month. I would also find out when she was tardy and how tardy. My son was given a tardy cause the bus was late getting him to school and I called and let them know that that is not acceptable in my book. They had given several kids on his bus tardies and after several phone calls and a check with the bus company, the tardies were removed. Yes, if my son had been chatting or something, I would not have bothered to call, I would have just remind him that tardiness of his own making is not acceptable.
Best of luck.
spanking, not beating.
Teens this day and age have no fear, of anything, it seems. Back in my days of growing up, just the thought of my parents finding out I did something I wasn't suppose to, was enough for me to keep myself in line.
And NO, we were never beaten, but did get a few pats with the belt, which were far and few inbetween.
You say spanking does not build trust?
It sure makes a kid do good, though. I would not raise my kids to be terrors and surely not with g'kids. I just do not have it period.
You can get in trouble for spanking with an object...
I'm not against spanking when appropriate, but I used to work as a legal secretary and saw people get child abuse charges for spanking with belts. I think if you use a bare hand it is legal, but the law probably varies from state to state. Just wanted to warn you!
Spanking just taught my child it was okay to hit.
We never spanked our kid until he was around 2.5. Then dad got fed up with his behavior one day and spanked him. We also tried swatting him on the hand when he did something bad. Now my son has decided that hitting is what we do when we are mad and now hits me whenever he is upset. He never did this until he started receiving spankings. I really don't think spanking/switching is the answer and just sends the wrong message to the kids. But that is just my opinion and I realize everyone is entitled to raise their kids as they see fit.
I don't automatically think spanking is abuse
said it was okay to give 'em the belt. That is abuse, plain and simple. If you feel a need to spank your child, then do it with your own hand, not another object. It's too easy to hit too hard with an object because you're not feeling the pain you're subjecting them to.
As for the gov't interfering, they have to because there are too many wackos in this world that do beat their kids to a pulp. If they all parented with a little more sense, like you obvioulsy do, then I would agree that the gov't shouldn't interefere, but unfortunately the wackos of this world don't care.
It sounds to me as if you're raising some wonderful children. You've definitely offered up some very good advice. I saw no where in your post where you said that you've used a belt, and I'm not saying that you did. I'm simply referring to the OP that started this thread that beating with a belt is abuse.
All spanking does is make kids respect you to your face (sm)
it does not teach them anything at all. When my kids were very young and I could not reason with them, they did occasionally get a swat to get them to listen to me, but once they are old enough to reason, there is no reason to use physical force on them. I am telling you, all it does is raise sneaky kids.
spanking builds fear that you mistake as respect
A child who has been abandoned by both parents has no trust in anyone. Why do you think spanking is the right way to build trust? We just need to agree to disagree on this issue. I trust the counselor's recommendations more than yours as hers have proven to work. Spanking does not _make_ ALL kids do good. Sigh.
Time out and then spanking if time out
If we are out in public however, we do not go home. Spanking right there and then and the kids learn REAL QUICK mom means business. I do not mess around and I have a 17-year-old now that has enlisted in the military and THANKS me for his tough upgrowing. It helped him through basic training.
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