The poster was right....
Posted By: mt3Rs on 2008-01-16
In Reply to: Just venting somewhat about depressed parents sm - happy daughter
you can't change your dad, just stay happy. But, you could invite your parents to go to church with your family - if they say no, just tell them the invitation is open at any time. You could also just cheerfully mention to your Dad that you saw such and such a job in the newspaper and thought it was something he might be interested in looking into.
You're wise enough to know you can't change another person, but you can give him a little encouragement - plant a seed and see if it grows.
Happy Trails to you.
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I am "juvenile post" poster. "Looney" poster is some
x
not poster you responded to but that poster has
everyone with different opinions is allowed to post here and poster said they were making a contribution in the name of pro-peace....give that poster a break please....
ya got that right! Poster DOES know or else she
She is 54 after all.............not a baby, not a young adult/teen who really needs guidance.
She knows this is DEAD wrong but appears to be *seeking* something from all of us, as she said she was posting *in a safe place*............meaning here on the forum.
We know right from wrong from FIVE YEARS OLD on..........she knows what she is doing is most wrong/incorrect.
I just think she is craving attention, personally......... 
I will go along with the poster below who --sm
said she was *dressed*. Actually quite a personal question and no one else's business what I wear or when. I notice you didn't answer your own question, either.
If it is the same poster, she is only doing sm
400 lines in 8 hours. I guess anything is better than that. That isn't even minimum wage. If it is her, then she definitely needs a new career. 400 lines in 8 hours is ridiculous. I do 400 lines an hour. These career is only for the hardy ones.
this has nothing to do with what the poster is asking....
nm
But you would have if you could have, and above poster did try (sm)
So why are you both saying parents don't owe their kids help with getting through college? Poster A tried to help hers and jlynn would have helped hers if she could.
As the poster below said...if you are..
having a tough time making it financially, maybe there are better job choices out there for you. My point was that most people who whine about having no money usually have the brand new car or two and the payments, a huge mortgage, the latest tech gear, etc. We have a lot of nice things, all paid for, but we took our time getting them. We save where we can, but we aren't letting gas prices or grocery prices change our lifestyle that much and the reason we can do that is because we only have a mortgage to pay. We have made a decision that whatever we want to buy we will either save and pay cash for or charge it and pay it off the next month. As you get older you realize stuff is just stuff, it comes and goes, and the less you can get by on the better.
PS! The poster below was right about UTI's -
I lost my previous cat (a 4-year-old male) to acute kidney failure brought on by an obstructed urinary tract. In addition to being a male, which put him at higher risk, he was also a Persian, which get this more frequently than other breeds), and he ate ONLY dry cat food. Just would not touch any kind of wet food. Although I normally only fed him high-quality food by Royal Canin, I also made the mistake of letting him have Meow-Mix as a treat occasionally, for a change. That brand has apparently messed up other cats' pH balances, and I'll always wonder if I killed him by feeding him Meow Mix....
Although he never peed outside his litter box, he did start to pee more often, and in less and less amounts. It had been happening very gradually over about a week, and at the time I hadn't really noticed it. It was only in retrospect that I remembered... AFTER it was too late. Even though he was nearly dead when he was brought in, the emergency after-hours vet clinic saved his life the first time, and for a month he was completely back to normal! But then, overnight, it came back, and the next morning I found him lying in his litter box (another warning sign!) The second time at the vet's, they said the toxins from the first episode the month before had backed up into his system and basically destroyed his kidneys, so at that point I had him put to sleep.
So, long story short, especially with a male cat, don't take any chances, and be sure to have your vet check him out. Be sure he's eating at least SOME canned (wet) cat food, and if possible, it might be wise to eliminate dry food altogether. If you do feed dry food, be sure it's a top-quality brand (with NO ingredients from China!)
Once again, good luck and best wishes!
I'm poster from above... (it's possible)
You know the spots you see in pictures sometimes? You think it's sunlight or whatever... Well we took a family pic (SIL took the pic) and there was a huge spot. My son told me he learned about Spirit Orbs at school. Well, I think the Orb was my mother. I'm sorry, but it just seemed weird to me that this would appear in this manner. We lost my Mom about 2 years ago. The kids were very attached to her. She's here in spirit; my son said I think that Orb is MeMe (that's what they called her).
Also, my son (he's 14) had a dream right after her death that she saw my Mom (looked like me) and my Dad (looked like my brother) dancing. He said they looked young and MeMe told him "don't worry, I'm in good hands." My Dad died about 13 years ago (my son was only 5 months old). So, you see, kids deal and see things different.
Your son probably does see images or what he perceives as ghosts and it frightens him because he is so young.
The sleeping arrangements in your household is your business. Whatever works. I used to sleep with my Mom when my Dad worked nights, and I was probably in junior high at the time. My Dad worked shift work. 
The above poster is right
My brother went through this. He had to take half of his wife's credit card debt. But what you can do is contact the credit card company, after the divorce is final, and ask how much they are willing to settle the account for. He settled a 14,000 credit care bill for 9,000, if he paid it within 10 days of making the agreement with them. His wife and her attorney were pretty mad, but there was nothing they could do. She kept wanting him to just give her the money and let her pay the bill, she probably already knew what they were going to settle for and thought she could pocket the 5000.00. The credit card company showed the account as paid in full satisfactorily. Assets will be split including any pensions, 401K, etc., as well as cars, boats, property, any of that stuff. You can trade off on things, for instance not touch his 401K if you get _____?? and so on.
As for the kids, there will be a set visitation schedule which you both work out and the court approves of. If he doesn't follow it or if he doesn't return the kids, than he is in contempt of court. If there are problems during the divorce, the court will set up a schedule for visitations during that period if needed.
One more tip I learned. You want the best attorney you can get. If you don't know any, ask a cop or a few if you can. LOL, they know who the good ones are and who they would call if they needed one. They're in court and around the courthouse and know how things happen. Ask more than one person and get some opinions before you retain a lawyer. It sounds like you already know he's not going to be nice about this. Don't be overly nice about it either or he'll try to take advantage.
I don't think the poster is looking for
Family friendly. She went to "Couples" Negril. Sandals and Beaches are great if you don't mind family vacations.
lol actually i said it under the first poster!
because like you i work a lot and sometimes can only catch shows once in awhile... THe office is one that i love but dont get to watch often enough cause of work.
it is so up my alley of humor. but then again im easily amused.
I hate not following every week though you know. i never thought about renting seasons or anything cause i definitely dont have an extended period of time to just sit and watch TV... too much other stuff to be doing but you are totally right, it's a good one!!!
I will ask you as I did another poster above
I know for a fact your 401K probably very much dinged along with the rest of investments unless it is a bank 401K in which there are no problems there. Having 50K in the bank is ok and like you I am 100% debt free (except for my home). Our family was close to the working poor when I was growing up and did not even own a car. I never knew we were that close to poverty, though. I have only lived in my new home around 5 years now and already have it from over 200,000 to down under 90,000 so now a big majority of the payment going not just on interest. I was heading towards danger when I financed at first with interest only. Learned a lesson real fast with that and refinanced to what I call real payments. With my being independent now I am planning to see how to set up automatic payments to the IRS so that will go straight there every so many months and will not miss it.
The poster below just does not get it
My father took out a policy on his work site in the 50s. There were only 2 children that belonged to him, my brother and myself. We were young children in the 50s. No one had any names of people we were to marry in the future, no names of grandchildren to be born in the future. Gosh, he was not psychic. He was married to my stepmom sometime in the 50s, I don’t know when but the stepmom had died 2 years before my father. My brother married (before his death in 1973), had 2 children. When my father died in 2004 the insurance company had names of my brother, his children's names, their last known address, somewhere in Knoxville, I had never visited there so had no addresses. I gave them the information I knew. It was up to the insurance company to find anyone this money belonged to. I had remarried and yet they contacted me. My name was not the same name when my father died but hello, they found me. I have no idea why Jan is so bent out of shape over this. She talks like you can just rush in and take what is not yours. I had no dealings with my brother, his family at all for years and years. You know, sometimes people just get lost. I was contacted back in approximately 1987 about getting a nephew out of a jail in Georgia that I knew nothing about. Fast forward to 2004, the year my father died, 17 years later and I had heard nothing else from the SIL, their son, their daughter since 1987. Now I hope Jan can give it a rest.
I would do like the other poster, if sm
you have to use it, just charge something really little and pay it off each month. I had one card lower my credit limit for no reason whatsoever. I was so mad and I would love to close it but won't be doing that. I sure won't charge anything and leg interest build though.
Have to agree with this poster
I'm no Bible thumping holy roller but I do know that if you TRULY understand what it means to be a Christian, you don't go in for the evil aspect of Halloween. I don't think what the pastor said and did is appropriate though. He sounds a little over the top to me.
I have to agree with the poster above
Your sister and BIL did not borrow the quad, simply agreed to bring it to their home because your husband was too tired to unload it. Sounds like the BIL was trying to be nice. Hubby was too tired to unload it, but expected BIL to do it himself at his house???
r u the poster I responded to? well if not.
If you are or are not the poster I responded to - doesn't matter one lick. The poster said *will not shop in any store that sells gay or lesbian items*
Poster did not clarify that they *WOULD shop in a store that sells heterosexual items also being sold to gays* -
You seem to have an interpretation and possibly reading problem which, if you were the poster I was responding to, accounts for the little pea-sized, shut-down to nearly closed-down brain.........
To me it is unbelievable that homophobes still exist in the 21st Century amongst the common folk?
All this spewing about Christmas and Christian way of life and giving and generosity and all this supposed good feelings, yet all I see here is hypocrisy and condemnation for anyone who is not of your faith and for anyone who doesn't interpret any bible the way that some of you do.
God says we are to love each other as we love ourselves - but looking at some of these posts I see SOME really lack loving themselves and become accusers and finger-pointers - and JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED.....
To all who condemn others who do not follow your ways, religion, closed mindedness..... Who died and left you boss of anything?
And lest not forget that Christianity and Catholicism stems from Judeo-Christian teachings.....which when I get involved teaches all about tolerance.
Now, can we all just try to be pleasant and get along and agree that we can all disagree and still be civil to one another or is that task far too great?
I agree 100% with the poster below - also...
You do not want to be his second choice. Either he is free from this other woman and available to date you in a proper manner or he is not. Him saying *things are not working out* is SO typical for someone who wants to play the field and still have the security of someone else. He has been with her 7 years, is not happy, and has not moved on??? You deserve so much better and do not need someone like him. Let sleeping dogs lie!!! 
New poster or not, you are rude. nm
m
No, did not mean original poster...
I was referring to the poster who stated she was certain she would be in Heaven. I don't know how she could tell someone that because try as I may, I don't know that I will pass the test. I understand saying things like that are to comfort the grieving person, but I also think we may be held accountable for giving false hope like that, but then again there are a lot of things we just won't know until it is time to know them. To the original poster, I do feel so badly for you and hope that you find the comfort you need in this trying time. I'm sure you are questioning God and that is fine too, just remember he has a plan for everything.
You know what the poster meant
by spelling it wrong and who really cares. There is always someone out there to nit pick. GEEZ
SHE?...poster was right on the assuming
I'm with the poster below....what's your husband
nm
Original Poster
*
I agree with first poster
At least this is a decision she is making herself. You can't change the circumstances, but you can help her find the best facility possible in her circumstances.
I lived 500 miles away from my mother, and when she got sick with non-Hodgkin's, it was very hard because I couldn't be down there to help her as much as I wanted. My son was 12 at the time and I had to be here with him, although I could and did go down and stay with her a couple of weeks at a time (my son too when he was out of school). And I was with her for the last three weeks of her life.
I know this is very hard for you. Just be with her as often as you can, talk to her on the phone as often as you can, and help her find a good facility that will take care of her needs. She sounds like a very independent, sensible lady. She understands that you love her and want the best for her. Cherish the time that you have with her. 
And if poster was a minister, name could be
asdf
I would refer the poster to look down
the page where she on this date asked my friend again when we were going to take this to email, and stated she found it more odd than cute. Don't accuse me of trying to start trouble. She responded to an email that my friend submitted to her. I think the subject was I feel sorry for you, or something to that effect, then the post again about it being odd under that. Then mine which starts out PARDON ME.
and no, I'm not Towanda the other poster here...n/m
Don't listen to that one mean poster (sm)
That is so sweet - don't listen to these people. If he was 12 I might be concerned. I lay in the bed at night with my 10 year old and read to him every night. He thinks I'm his mom, that's all. Your son will get through this. It is just a phase I'm sure.
I am the other poster who you insulted
by calling looney. I was a bit put off by it and I was wrong for my "juvenile post" but why is it we have to critique each other's posts. I thought we are all here for one another...to help out and encourage each other...at least I am.
Thank you to the other poster who came to my aid and explained my feelings quite well for me. Thank you...you are a nice person...someone I would like to receive advice from.
Sorry..thought you were a different poster (nm)
x
I have 4-yo who is the poster child for...
...oppositional behaviors.
He has been headstrong since the day he was born. He started out crying for hours because he did not want to go to sleep at night.
He does have tendencies to throw fits for hours if he does not get his way. I would say that he was a lot worse at 3 years of age, but it has lessened "some" now that he is 4.
Raising a child like this takes a determination and being headstrong yourself. There are a few things that help me: 1. Do not argue. State your case and let it go. If he throws a fit try ignoring even if it takes an hour (and it will take an hour). 2. Time out: Every time he gets out of the chair, but him back in it. I did this for 1-1/2 hours the first time, but finally got him to sit for time out. The time it takes to do this should lessen each time. However, again it takes patience and determination on your part. You CANNOT give up. 3. Spankings. I found that this makes my child's behavior worse in most cases. I try to use it as a last resort. He does know that he will get one if his behavior becomes too inappropriate. 4. Love: Sometimes after my son has thrown a 30-40 minute fit, I just pick him up, rock him, love him, and talk to him about things he likes, etc. He is not a self soother and sometimes needs help calming himself down. I also tell him that I always love him even when he thinks I don't.
I have a lot more to say, but this is getting super long. If you want to e-mail, you can. Good luck. I do know what you are going through.
Melissa
I agree with the other poster, (sm)
probably something "dressier" than "regular" business but not black tie, somewhere in between. Other poster is probably correct about them saying that to hopefully avoid too much sparkle and low cut or short skirts with the women. LOL.
I believe poster was, how to say this?, bragging.
xxx
then I would agree with another poster..
you should probably find someone to talk to about it..with your husband.
Have to agree with the above poster
While my mom is only in her 60's right now, my dad has already passed and I have NO doubt that when the time comes to take care of my mom, I will get little to no help from my 4 siblings. I think often the burden falls to one child and it would be in your best interest to get power of attorney and just do what you need to do.
It's not worth fighting with your sister when she clearly doesn't want to contribute much. It will just cause you more stress and as a result, more stress on your dad.
When all is said and done, you will sleep well at night knowing you did all you could for your dad. Your sister will be the one who has to live with herself knowing that she didn't care enough to be there for him.
If you can get the materials like the above poster
It's easy to do yourself. I did the point system on my own and it worked really well. My daughter was on WW with me so that helped also. I lost 20 pounds, unfortunately put most of it back on and I'm at it again. My daughter on the other hand, became a vegetarian and lost 30 pounds in three months. Wish I could do that, but I like my meat too.
I agree with above poster....
This is being blown way out of proportion. This is normal dog behavior. Maybe you should keep your child in your own yard. It would be different if this dog went into your yard and then attacked her!
I agree with this poster. nm
h
not at all. Not sure why it would make poster
the lowest i have weighed since middle school. I've been on depo for 5 years, have hypothyroidism and a sednetary job. It's all about calories in, calories out and self control.!!!
I agree with the poster below
Just because he is your future son-in-law doesn't mean he owes you anything. It sounds to me like you want to cause problems between him and your daughter because of this when you say you think she should have talked to him. This is between you and him. You asked for help, he told you what he could offer, take it or leave it.
It sounds to me like he made the comment about not having things placed or set up because he expects that you would want that. I certainly don't know your relationship with him or your daughter and do believe there are always 2 sides to every story and feel like we didn't get the second side to this story.
I don't say any of this to make you feel bad in any way. Your situation reminds me of my own mother. Except that she will do whatever she can to get things resolved before asking either of her son-in-law's to help and they are more than willing to do anything for her...she just knows that they work full-time, have a family, and life is hectic. When she does ask something she asks them directly (not through the daughter) and asks for bare minimum - she usually gets much more than that on the son-in-law's own accord not because he is obligated.
I disagree with the other poster
While forgiveness is divine, forgetting is just plain dumb. I would not let this incident go by without discussing it with the mother of the daughter as well as the teacher and the school principal. Personal space or not, that girl had no right to put her hands on your son. She was not defending herself. She was not in harms' way. If she gets away with this now, it will only continue. In public school, this kind of thing would be handled by suspension of the girl. Boy or girl, big or small, every child has the right to feel safe in school. That's one of the fundamental rights of all children. See to it that this private school enforces it. Only you can make them accountable.
I realize how angry you must be right now, but hopefully by posting this and sleeping on it tonight, you'll be able to compose yourself enough to handle this maturely.
I agree with the other poster.
Unless its a kid that you know has been in trouble before, I wouldn't assume anything. My son is not a teenager yet but he says things that he just says because he thinks someone else will think its funny or cool...not because he is doing it or agrees. I also have 3 older nephews, in and just beyond teenage years, and they do the same thing. Two are great kids, they say things but clearly do not participate. Being the aunt they tell a lot more with honesty than they do to the parents. The other...well is just irresponsible. I think he says a lot to keep up with people too but wouldn't put anything past him if peer pressure is involved. Just his personality and demeanor says a lot.
If you sit down with a teenager and talk to them as if they are "adult" you would be surprised some times at the things they will tell you in honesty.
above poster is not shellly I am
I sign my name to my posts. I actually signed off and left to make dinner. that was not me
Agree with this poster, you cannot let
this slide. Also, if he is posting pictures on the Internet, in certain parts of the country schools monitor this and they can and have taken action against the student. You need to be firm on this and definitely discuss it with his father. So what if your son is devastated by his father's reaction, in the long run it is the best for him.
Poster below is right -- this Saturday
Nov 1, before you go to bed, set your clocks back 1 hour. Spring forward, Fall back. Happy Halloween!!!
The other poster is correct....
I think it was on What Not To Wear or one of those shows where I heard if you have that problem it is because the cup size is not big enough for you. With that size naturally I wouldn't think you would need a "push up" because those have a lot of extra padding to give the push. Maybe go to a store in the mall and talk to them. Surely they will have a suggestion for your size and style interest. Doesn't mean you have to buy it there, just get the idea and then go to Target or someplace and buy what you want a little less expensive.
Agree with poster below that
you need to get out of that situation, especially after reading what you son said. He is being damaged, and I have seen firsthand what that damage can do to you as an adult. Dysfunctional doesn't begin to describe it. Take action ASAP. I wish you the best of luck, I know it isn't easy.
I have Saladmaster and like the poster
below I love it. It is actually quite old, I got my grandmother's set after she passed away.
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