The only time I get a hug that isn't sexual is if someone dies.
Posted By: No kidding. on 2008-02-15
In Reply to: Husband can't hug - ever - without it being...(sm) - Sad MT
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What would you do? Sexual Harassment?-
I need opinions on an extremely akward thing that just happened to me while at the store.......I think a store employee made a comment to me that is classified as sexual harassment. I feel sick over the whole thing. Please help me figure this out as I need some good advice right now.
To make a very long, ackward story short.......My 2 children finally went to sleep this evening and hubby was watching football. I needed a few things at the store so I decided to run out. (Hubby is never happy about late night shopping adventures because of the crazy world we live in, but he knows that I enjoy the quiet time so he tries to not worry much.) Anyways, I went to a very popular department store (open 24-hours and is still very busy no matter what hour) and I returned a bra that did not fit me at the service desk. The mid-twenties young man seemed normal and returned my money to me without any problems. I then shopped and decided I was ready to go, so I took my purchases to the regular check-out counter where a young lady checked me out. Then this young man (an employee) walked over to me and said "hey, did you find one that fits?" I was a little confused at first and I looked at him like I didn't know what he was talking about. He then proceded to say "the service desk, your return..." OH- This guy was the one who was behind the service desk when I made the bra return. Why in the world is this weirdo worried about whether or not I was able to find a bra that fits. (I am probably close to the same age as this guy, I am well-endowed, yet I do not flaunt it. Even if I was wearing a low-cut shirt (which I was not) I feel very strongly about the fact that it was inappropriate for him to be asking a question pertaining to my breasts! Please correct me if I am wrong for thinking this way!!!!????)
I walked out of there feeling pretty sick about that comment. I sat down in my car for a second and decided that I should probably report it. I called and asked to speak to the manager on duty and this guy said that he was an assistant manager. I explained the situation to him and explained to him that I did not have the name of the guy but I could semi-describe him and this guy started sounding very shakey and said "I am very sorry ma'am, I am the one who said that. I think you are pretty and maybe I was being over friendly to you. I can take care of this issue for you. I am very sorry I said that. I don't want to get in trouble. I will take down your information." I said "No, that is okay. I would prefer to give that infomation to the Store Manager tomorrow when I call back to discuss this incident with her/him." I cannot believe this guy actually thought I would leave further details with him! Like he would really forward them to the appropriate person and get himself in trouble!
So, I need advice about this. Hubby was sound asleep when I got home and I'm going to wait til tomorrow to tell him as I am sure that he would go out there tonight to "talk" to the guy! I will try to wait to tell him anyways, it is really kinda bothering me and I feel like I need his comfort.
My hope is that someone on here might have some advice. Hopefully your advice and understanding will give me the answers and comfort that I need tonight so that I can get over this ackward feeling until I can atleast talk to hubby about it and contact the store manager about it.
Thanks so much. :)
Maybe not sexual harrassment, but certainly
inappropriate. I would never ask a man if he found a jock strap that fit.
May be the sexual degenerates are the ones who never had anyone (sm)
show them true parental love - they never learned to express their emotions in healthy non-sexual ways. My children are so well adjusted and do great in school, have many friends and are happy, normal kids who never get into any trouble other than the occasional talking too much. Sleeping/laying in bed with a parent or grandparent is not sexual in any way whatsoesver. Unless the adult is a molester, sexual thoughts will not even cross the child's mind.
I think the way anyone dies is sad.
What makes it even sadder is that there is help out there, he just didn't get it in time.
It is sad when that feeling dies
and it usually seems to after a couple of years. I miss the kissing, the hand holding. All that goes by the wayside when the man starts taking you for granted. Then it just becomes sex without a feeling of love. Men are exasperting creatures !
drive it until it dies!!!
when you say you can't afford anything over $2000.00 is that because you have 2K cash or you can afford the payments? My thing is I REALLY want a new car. I dont NEED it quite yet, but im getting there. I bought my first Honda Accord in 2001. 8 years later it is really starting to show signs of wear and tear... something is DEFINITELY wrong as it is making noises now but I haven't taken it into the shop yet. I am keeping my fingers crossed it is something like a plug and not a transmission or engine problem. I know the deals are great on cars right now... but like you said you have a bunch of other bills to pay and you have to sacrifice somewhere.
When you said get a decent car that will last you the rest of your life, what car at 4K will do that?? I dont think you should close your IRA until you have no other choice you know? unless do you have other savings? He isn't working now? you owe all kinds of other things? I mean... think about it. You already know the answer dont you!! :)
Are you hoping to milk a sexual harrassment lawsuit out of this?
xx
Humping in dogs is more a sign of dominance than sexual
adf
RANDY PAUSCH DIES sm
If you do not know who he is good his name and watch the video on the Last Lecture. I have his book on order. Had such a great outlook on Live . RIP.
Woman falls into freezer & dies
How can you do that? Wouldn't it have to be an awfully big freezer? Regardless, what a horrible way to die.
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — Police say a woman accidentally fell into her freezer and died before a friend found her and called authorities.
Colorado Springs Sgt. Tim Hogan says a woman called police Saturday morning to report her friend was dead in the freezer. Hogan says that an initial investigation makes it appear the woman fell into the freezer, then got trapped and suffocated before she could get out.
Foul play is not suspected. The woman was not immediately identified, and police didn't say how long the woman had been dead in the freezer before her friend found her.
Wal-Mart worker dies after shoppers knock him down
just read about it online. people are jerks. I can remember one time being in a line for ice cream at a fair, a very long line, and the person behind me was pushed right up against me. If anything like that ever happens again, i will turn around and says, keep your freakin boobs off me, you weirdie.
Man dies after being head-butted by armless artist - MSNBC story 09/18/07
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20844553/from/ET/
No! That sounds too desperate. TIME. Just give it TIME. If it is real, then sm
something will definitely evolve. If you like him, flirt back! Don't act desperate because if he DOES like you, then the suspense will just make him want to get to know you more. Trust me on this.
I worked in the medical records department of a hospital when I was single and dated a few co-workers in my early 30s. It was fun. Nothing serious came about any of the relationships.
This sounds like fun - the beginning of maybe something to come....Keep us informed.
Totally agree, get these from time to time since teens...sm
It's a neuro condition, it does not mean there is anything at all wrong with you, it is actually related to narcolepsy, hypnagogic (sp? I just got up!) hallucinations, etc. And I HATE when I get these, it is always freaky, my siblings get this too, at times. I can "go away" for years and years before you get another episodes, so don't worry! I heard that when you are under a lot of stress or are very busy with things that this happens more??? Take care!!
It's time to stop when you or the kid(s) feel it is time, and no sooner. sm
My grandmother (who passed away at the young age of 107 back in the mid 1990s) was STILL celebrating every little holiday for all of her many kids and grandkids, and she would STILL give me a chocolate bunny every Easter, as she had since I was a toddler and even though I was 40ish at the time (and I still delighted in biting its head off in front of her, as I had also done since I was a toddler, which always met with mock disapproval from her).
Don't let anyone dampen your joy in celebrating your traditions.
The very 1st time he talked about killing you, was the time
The guy sounds like a psycho.
Rachael Ray has a segment from time to time
on using the bottom of the bottle receipes (i.e. bar-be-q sauce, peanut butter, maple syrup) and I have used many of her ideas and been amazed at how far you can stretch a dollar that way. Go to her website, it will give you many ideas.
Oh Amy, surely there was a man who "kept" you from time to time..
or you were at least married and had access to money!
It was a great time - I just hate the time we are in now
I liked your post. Thanks for replying It's nice to know other people were raised like me. We seem to appreciate the things we have. Oh I should've also said we didn't have A/C growing up. My parents idea of A/C was having my sister and I wave a piece of cardboard in front of them. HA HA HA.
I just couldn't stand the 90s and 2000s are even worse. I hate all the politics going on today, the world events, the bleak future. The degenerates running around, listening to kids talk back to their parents, girls gone wild, etc, etc. I'm grateful my grandparents and mom are not alive anymore to have to go through this with us.
I love watching old movies and the music of the 40s/50s. If I was alive back then I would've been doing the jitterbug and all those other fun dances. Life seemed simpler and cleaner (even though I've got a mouth like a sailer - guess I got that from my Army days).
I wouldn't mind the turn of the century either. I love the clothing and the simple life. Those are the times when the husband took care of the wife. If I could be transported back to the 1800s I surely would in a second.
Time out and then spanking if time out
If we are out in public however, we do not go home. Spanking right there and then and the kids learn REAL QUICK mom means business. I do not mess around and I have a 17-year-old now that has enlisted in the military and THANKS me for his tough upgrowing. It helped him through basic training.
Well, I have questioned myself from time to time.
I figured this was typical. DD has lots of friends but two real close friends. I guess this is all part of building social skills. I am glad I did okay then.
Same thing happens to me from time to time - sm
if I roll over too quickly. I have positional vertigo. There is not too much you can do about it except try not to move or get up too quickly from a supine position. I have never had an earache in my life either so that has nothing to do with it. I don't ever feel sick from it though, just more of a nuisance for me every now and then. If it keeps happening obviously get checked out, you may have a more severe case, though again there really not much you can do about it, all it is is some particles in your ear breaking loose and that causes the dizziness, etc.
If I had not asked time and time again
for the daughter to ask me are you upset- are you angry- are you in a bad mood- People can think what they want- She is a very intelligent person and my asking to please should be enough. Gest of the posting. Selfish, OMG, that is really a laugh. I have and do take care of others well before my needs- I have given of myself, my time, my finances, the whole thing until, now this will sound selfish- it is my time now. I take care of me now- this is selfish but this is the truth. I raised my family, did all I could (still do for the daughter if she needs assistance which she never asks for but I offer)and now in golden years, me time.
Yes. Next time put a time limit on it., but is there any way you
nm
I keep it in the office part time and on the patio part time
I've got the self-cleaning electric litter box (and boy is it worth the $100), and have a huge throw rug under it with a smaller rug by the litter pan that has a bumpy mat on top of it to catch the excess. I keep it in the office from April to October but on the patio from October to March as it is too hot in FL to leave the patio door open for them during the summer months. I also put out a spare box when we go out of town for the weekend.
Try a box that has deeper sides maybe, or not as much litter in it?
time time time
when I divorced my husband, I felt the same way. some mornings I would wake up crying and missing him, but I really knew that if I was still with him, things would have been the same. chin up, chest out!!! and forward march. it's just hard. you should read the Sweet Potato Queens books. reading them in order is best, but the newest one is the Sweet Potato Queens Wedding Planner/Divorce Guide. I say read them in order because she refers back to things in the other books that you will be in the dark about, but your situation sounds critical so maybe just jump right into the Divorce Guide. go to sweetpotatoqueens.com. I have read them all over and over and they are fabulous!!!! need some humor at this time in your life. good luck to you!!
First time I saw it
I really like Jen. Didn't care too much for Sadie.
I think maybe for the first time or maybe just the first time
in a long time - your well is a little more dry - it needs replenishing.... you give and you give and you give and even the most charitable of people need to get something back... I think you just had a dry year and I hope this year people give back to you - if so little as a smile, a hug, a bit of encouragement in whatever way - to help to lift your spirit. You will get it back! :))
Yes. Happens all the time.
x
99% of the time - none.
x
My son would get them all the time - sm
get something to soak the foot in, fill it with water as warm as he can stand it and then mix in about 1 cup of Epsom salts, soak the foot until the water cools.
Will have to do it a few times over a few days but the skin starts to pull back.
tell him not to cut his toenails so short! :)
I look at it as the first time since she sm
was, what 14, that she will have to be in rahab. One problem, Michele Rodriguez from the show Lost went to that jail in 2006 to serve 60 days for a DUI and was let go after several hours due to overcrowding. I sure hope she doesn't get out becuase of something silly like that.
Just take it one day at a time.
I had a miscarriage back in 1993 and for years afterwards I would have a private memorial day on the day that I was due. Time really does help your heart heal, as have my living children.
TB and time
I don't agree because it can take years from the time of exposure. This is such a bad form of TB that anyone in contact with him for quite a while back needs to be watched at least and be followed up. That patient did not even realize he was infected and found out by accident from an x-ray. TB is an interesting disease process and we all need to be careful especially since there are so many people here illegally. I am not trying to start anything about that, but they have not even been medically screened if they came here illegally. They are sitting around in all our ERs, the same ones we go to. They sit next to us on public transportation and work in our restaurants. I have recently worked for physicians who treat a lot of foreign patients and you would be surprised at how many diseases they enter this country with. This is a very serious thing and I find what he did to be very wrong. His father-in-law knew too and works at the CDC. The reason he came back was the way he did was to get the best treatment available, which is here in the US, and I believe his father-in-law told him that. If anyone has been exposed to TB they need to be checked by their physician and followed.
No bra here, either, 90% of the time
If I didn't have these danged D-cups, it would be 100% of the time.
And I go Apache at home, which also means about 90% of the time since I started working at home. I don't think I could wear pants or shorts without underwear. Too much chafing of the delicate areas. But I wear housedresses in summer or in winter warm waffly nightgowns while I work so no need for underwear! 
i think its time to think about YOU
and of course the kids. If he loves them as you say, the distance won't stop him. My heart goes out to you. But do what is right for you this time.
How did I know when it was time?
When I started dreading the fact that he was home instead of worrying why he was't home. Being on my own was harder than I thought even though the relationship was long over. It's a mental thing of course. I felt very alone and vulnerable, but I did get over it. I still panic about the things you mention, although I have always been okay, yes even better. Having plenty of positive, understanding support would be most helpful. Hope you make the right decision.
AHA! Thanks! Most of the time I don't - sm
have a need for an online photo-sharing account, since I usually just email to friends, or print out for my mom, who has no PC. But I printed out your info. for the time when I get around to starting an account with flicker or photobucket.
THANKS for the info!
time
I used to love mornings now be a night person. I am up early but when it comes to feeling like typing rather do it at night.
First time!
Hey, it's my first time here.............
Well, any time you go anywhere ....
without your spouse you are in a compromising position then. Anything can happen, anytime, anywhere, people around or not. Geesh girls, lighten up on the morality aspect of it. Are your husbands even allowed to TALK to other women? Little girls worry about such things, women do not.
Well, let's see, what do I do with my time? (sm)
My husband is always gone travelling, I work full time, take almost 100% care of the kids, am a Girl Scout leader, Sunday School teacher, volunteer at the school, and help take are of my aging father. I NEVER have time to watch TV and I spend maybe 15 minutes a day on here posting a day. (pretyt much my only outlet) and I do keep my house relatively clean, cook, laundry, etc. If I want to have someone help me with my house so that I have a little more time, that's my business.
Of course, all the time
I question my DH's decisions all the time, especially when it comes to situations like you described. You have a right to your opinion and a right to state it, without being yelled at and without his anger. Men can be so defensive when questioned on a decision they have made, but hey, they just need to get over it. And I think you did the right thing by doing your questioning out of the presence of the children, as it's not good for them to see Mom second guessing Dad or vice versa, cause they will play on that eventually.
Good luck, I know it's hard living with a hard-headed man, trust me I know!
I think it is probably time but
When I had to go through this it helped me tremendously to have the vet come to my home to do it. If your vet won't look in the yellow pages for one who will. This is less stress on your baby as well as yourself, light candles play soft music and hold her in your arms and tell her you love her and will see her again and that is okay for her to go now, they hear you aand don't want to leave you so telling them it is okay will help their spirit fly. All my sympathy and tears for you right now.
This was the first time I saw all the way thru
and I thought it was tops! Before I thought maybe like other award shows, but this was pure entertainment. Glad I watched and will do again next year hopefully.
how did you have time to run around
wow
AND she had time for her
this woman is AMAZING!!!!
Take the time.
It's crazy to have something available and then not use it because you "don't have the time". It's not that hard to do so take about 5-10 minutes, fire up the program and walk through it. You may even be surprised by what you already DO know.
I don't take it all the time . . .
just when I get a blister. I always have it on hand. When I notice one coming on, I'll take a 500 mg tablet three times a day.
who knows where the time goes
I still feel about 10
Yes. It was very sad, and at the same time in a very SM
different way it was beautiful to see the compassion they showed her when sentencing her. Some said they could not stand to see her receive life in prison, that they wanted her to have some life left. They ended up charging her with assisted suicide instead of murder, as her sons and she included all attempted one Christmas Eve when she brought them home for a few days.
I guess what stood out to me was the love this mother had for her family, and all she did to care for them. What makes me terribly sad is the fact that now she must see the third son go through the same thing. I saw this three different times and cried each time.
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