The notion that people who mean it don't talk about it is just plain wrong.
Posted By: FBL on 2008-12-23
In Reply to: I think my dad needs to be committed..sm - sm
You need to do what you can to get him "committed" for at least a 48-hour hospital stay, so he can be professionally evaluated. Call the police, they have a protocol for these situations and in most states they have the authority to "commit" him if they believe he is a risk to himself or others. Suicide attempts peak this time of year...don't just blow him off or you may live to regret it. Good luck.
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I have had so many people talk
bad about the rheumatologist, but compared to where I was a year ago - mine has been a godsend. He has me taking tramadol for generalized pain and when it gets severe I take hydrocodone (I've only been in treatment since January), he says we'll keep me on this for now as long as its managing the pain and when it doesn't work then we'll change it (so far so good - pain comes and goes - the fatigue is the worst by far and like you said nothing can be done for that), I take 900 mg of Neurontin for the tingling/numbness in my legs/feet, 150 mg of Zoloft and Zanaflex for the muscle spasms. He also has me walking 30 minutes a day, stretching exercises and once my pool is opened for the summer he has given me a instruction video on some water aerobics to work on to help the muscles. I really hate that so many people have had failed attempts with the rheumatologist becaue mine has been great - (let me knock on wood that it stays this way)...thanks for the advice though in case something should change and he not be an advocate for my health in managing my pain, etc..I know where to go..
I don't why people don't talk about this...
...but we should talk about this more. so people know what to look before marrying these guys. society just focuses on the wedding day and having the cute little babies and family. I think many Christians frown on divorce so it can be hard seeking help from church.
I am sorry for the things you have gone through. It really breaks my heart. You must really have an attachment to him to stay. This one you may have to get counseling from people who can help you leave. who can help you gather evidence against him so you don't lose your kid and who can help you stay safe from him. These type men don't want to pay child or spousal support so are quite dangerous from my observation . I wouldn't try to salvage this marriage, my persoanl opinion of course.. I am really upset by your post. No one should endure this kind of treatment. You need to come up with a plan. Not just for your dignity and self-respect, but for your saftety and your child's safety, a happy momma makes a happy baby, not parents who are together but are unhappy.. . He doesn't have any respect whatsoever for your or his own kid. He obviously doesn't respect or love himself. Can't love anyone else if you don't love yourself. This reminds me of that cop who keeps marrying 20-something yo and they keep coming up dead or missing. He is now engaged to another 20-something. Coo-coo!
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/12/17/national/main4674299.shtml
Talk to people in your area that do this, see how much competition there is, if
s
What is wrong with people?!
Last Friday I went into town to run some errands. The last stop on my list was WalMart to pick up a couple things for my husband.
As I am pulling into the parking lot, I stop for an ambulance that was coming out. Didn't have its lights on or anything but I could see through to the back and they had someone in the back. I go on into the parking lot and see a fire engine, then three more ambulances with their lights flashing and about 7 police cars.
What the heck? I sat in the car for a few minutes, not sure if they were letting people in, didn't have a clue what was going on. Finally, one of the cart guys comes out to get the carts next to my car and started to tell me what happened and yes, they are open.
I went in and there are clothes strewn about on the floor and in between the isles right behind the checkout lines. Police are everywhere interviewing people (assuming they were either involved or witnessed whatever happened.) There is also a woman lying on the floor in a backboard with paramedics swarming around her. I get my stuff and get the heck out as quickly as possible, still wondering exactly what was going on. So I checked the weekend paper, nothing about the incident and this is a very small town so if there was something happening, it would have been in the paper for sure.
Finally, yesterday's paper comes out and in the police blotter is a blurb about the incident at WalMart. I was shocked.
Apparently a 45 year old man, a 65 year old man, and a 60 year old woman started fighting over a place in line at the checkout and when employees tried to intervene, some of them were injured (though not seriously thankfully) as well. What? Are you serious? The store was not THAT busy and they were fighting over a place in line?
Is it any wonder that so many kids and young adults are rude, crude, and revert to acts of violence to get what they want? When adults, and MATURE adults at that, can't even behave themselves, it's no wonder!
If someone is in that big of a hurry to get out ahead of you, for crying out loud, let them go and don't make a fuss. Isn't worth getting assaulted over by any means. Especially in a store with a ton of small children tagging along with their parents to shop. 
That is just wrong. You are assuming these people were going sm
to do the right thing - and what makes you think they would? the dog should have been impounded, they should have contacted the hospital for payment information - did they? No. The victim has to pay or her credit is screwed. Her insurance could refuse to pay - they could investigate the dog bite and see who the culprit was - but they choose to pay - so not fraudulent. The people have not done anything it sounds like and now you are very quick to jump on this mom who obviously made a few mistakes and just wants to know what to do next to correct them. Wow.
You are wrong. They don't resent "anybody on aid." Only the people who abuse the system, li
lady driving the Cadillac Escalade. You are still missing the point!
Morally-wrong things hurt other people. Loving
.
why do people go door to door to talk about their religion?
arent they settitng themselves up for confrontatoin?
Just plain stupid
I think an average dairy cow produces about 12 gallons of milk a day. I don't think women are going to be able to meet production!
plain and simple, lack of God.
x
He's plain creepy and evil looking! nm
s
I keep all my bills in plain sight sm
with the due dates and amounts due right in the corner where the stamps go. Sometimes that is enough motivation. Other times I glance at my son's university bill, that's another motivation. Other times I have no choice but to leave the desk, go bake a a cake and go back to typing later in the day.
Acceptable? or Just Plain GROSS?
link below.
I'll tell you what it is...just plain sick...nm
ss
oh, i'd guess deeni has plain ol
x
Well you're just plain rude, ma'am, sorry.
I just hope you didn't go out all that much for other people's sake. LOL!
No just plain old Methodist, raised Baptist (sm)
don't really think it has religious roots though.
Miss Kitkat: I don't WANT to do it. Plain and simple.
I don't think you're a woman - sounds like a man's point of view. LOL
i would leave, him asking for sex through email is just plain creepy
leave
Did ya ever just wanna talk about nuthin' just to talk?
As I said before in another post, I miss everyone so much...
So, I have absolutely NOTHING to talk about. Love my new job, love that spring is on the way, and I love that my belly is absolutely filled up with pancakes my husband kindly made for me just now...even though it's lunchtime and not breakfast. I'm one of those freaks that could eat breakfast-type foods at every meal.
...and that reminds me that it's almost that time of year to order some baby chicks for next month. Laying hens, not for meat or anything, just eggs and entertainment. I can't wait for warm weather--it's been a long HARSH winter this year. In fact, I think we're due for another ice storm at the end of the week.
I hope everyone who stops by to read my note about nothing finds themselves and their families in good health. Miss you all, even the ones that can't stand seeing that "Hayseed" name up there.
Don't know about cats. What about adding mayo or plain veggie oil to their food? Or butter? nm
s
What is the best way to make a plain old center cut pork roast in the oven and at what temperature.
I dont want to add things to it just cook it. Not sure to cover or what to do.
You're aunt is bully, plain and simple and I would just stop visiting.
but I will tell you this, most mothers are going to voice their opinions to their kids about how they did things compared to out YOU do things. I think it's in the mother by-laws somewhere. :) My mother constantly tells me I'm too soft with my kids and I am. My mother was a strict disciplinarian similar to your aunt when I was a kid. Spankings were routine and generally with the belt or the fly swatter or any other object handy. That's why I'm so soft.
I let me mother know early on after I became a mother, that my kids are MY KIDS. She can give me advice and I'll always listen, but I will make the final decision on how and when to discipline my children and I and ONLY I (and DH too of course) will dole out any discipline necessary. Nobody else has permission to spank my children, EVER!
My mom and I get along pretty good now. I accept that she will be nosy and pushy and she accepts that I will ignore her and not call for a few days when she gets on my nerves.
I would just suggest being honest with your aunt and letting her know that you think you're a good mother, your DH thinks your a good mother and that your kids are doing fine and behave fine and if she doesn't think so, then she doesn't need to see the kids.
A beautiful silk scarf - received one once from a doc, loved it! Plain and simple goes w/anything.
light enough to ship from a fancy dancy boutique.
You ead my response wrong, terribly wrong
I am trying to ask what does she think it will help, not being nasty- tell me and I will try this. I would stand on my head and gargle peanut butter if I thought it would help - I wanted to know why a letter? They are thumbing their noses at the courts - commanded to appear- I was there and they werent.
Go try it, talk, talk and listen sm
Counselors are trained to "listen" and direct you to talk (not them). I have transcribed many, many mental health reports. They do dig deep and keep it going for a very long time, very long, usually (perhaps not for you). But if you both don't tell the truth, you are wasting your money, so why not just get it all out on the table and get it over with and get on with your lives? Don't pussy foot around, get it all out and deal with it. Gosh, life is too short to put on a show, it's not a dress rehearsal, it's life. Go forward, forgive, forget and forge ahead. Don't need a degree for that!! But a little help can't hurt. Might help.
you can give the people the facts, but the decision making process should be left to the people
This is what our country is founded on FREEDOM OF CHOICE! I'm laughing already; you are just as mortal as the rest of us, and don' even attempt to that you've never done anything in your lifetime that was unsafe or unhealthy. NOT gonna buy it.
it is wonderful to see how many people have such strong opinions about people in debt.
I thought that the purpose of this board was to be able to post without being judged unfairly or have somebody tell you how wonderful their personal life is, and therefore you are causing their life to be less wonderful with your irresponsibility. Well, the saying "walk a mile in my shoes" is a good one in this case. Since you have no personal information about the person you are lambasting because they are looking for information on their debt, you can feel superior. Had you had personal information about them, you might act in a more human manner. Consider fighting cancer for 4 years, working and being debilitated while you do, suffering the effects of chemo, going into debt to maintain your home for your children and looking for a way out of debt SHOULD YOU EVEN LIVE THROUGH THIS!! Thank you for the kind comments. To the judgmental people I say please take a step back before you judge. You do not know who you are talking to and if you knew the personal information maybe your comments would be kinder.
I get frustrated by the double standard they use when judging people. They let certain people go sa
What do you think about the voting process?
People who go around calling other people "low class"
have their own issues in life. Ignore them. Nothing like a misplaced superiority complex to make a person feel good about themselves. Like they've never done anything gauche or made a faux pas. It must be nice for them to be so perfect and live in a glass house.
For that matter, you probably saved your piggy's life by popping that mondo zit! It could have gotten infected or something.... (yes, I have a zit popping fixation myself, but you were really descriptive on that pig zit. gag LOL)
Man, you would have appreciated the time one of my relative's popped a HUGE cyst on her face. I was standing right next to her at the time and leaned back because I knew it was going to blow. It did! Big time! All over the wall, mirror and light fixture. I'm still disgusted by the thought of it 10 years later. LOL In a revering kind of way...
some people did, some people didn't. It's their choice.
x
Have a talk with your son
Any discussion or decisions about your son's feelings should be done with your son. This is an ideal situation to guide him in a positive direction. First of all, you are his mother and always will be. She may be doing the parenting tasks for now, and should be respected for giving of herself, but she should not interfere in your relationship with your son. Unfortunately that happens too often in families of divorce these days.
Ask how he feels about what is being said. Ask how he responds to it...or does not not respond at all. There may come a time where he listens to the garbage, then can stand up to her and say, "Aunt _____, I appreciate everything you are doing to help me with letting me stay here. There are some people who would not do what you are doing for me. But, my mom is my mom and I love her. She is always going to be my mom and you are always going to be my aunt. I feel I am lucky to have two different mom figures in my life that I can count on to help me learn how to deal with adult problems."
This sounds really dorky and I'm sorry others were as harsh towards you. I hope you put your own feelings in check and focus on your son's feelings as those being the ones that should be focused upon. He will be coming back to you one day, and everything that happens while he is away will stay with him. How you react is going to have more of an impact than what she says/does, especially when it is negative.
I know something of what you are going through. I am raising my grandchild. My ex's family did not speak to me for 10 years, but now that I have custody of my grandchild, for my ex's sake, they have been more genuinely caring and welcoming to me than my own family. There are a lot of words from the past being swallowed by my ex-SIL. I have proven that beyond myself, my decisions first reflect the best interest of the child. Everyone, even the child, feels it and knows it to be true. From that, respect is being rebuilt.
Good luck to you and your son.
I would talk to him/her
about the symptoms you are having and any family history of illnesses - more than likely they'll do some blood tests to rule out other things first. I had 11 of 18 trigger points on the day of my first visit - you can Google trigger points and it will tell you where some of them are and base it on that - but if your doctor suggests that it is all in your head and you continue to have problems please see another doctor - thankfully my doctor was very understanding and after I kept a log for 3 months of all my symptoms he then referred me on to a rheumatologist and this doctor has been wonderful - I see him every 3 months for routine blood work and medication adjustment if needed - they don't just dope you up on a bunch of narcotics - he also tries behavioral modification along with medicine - so I'm pleased .... Again best wishes.
Definitely talk to him
Sit down with him and tell him very calmly that you feel uncomfortable with this situation and ask him why he feels the need to do this. No matter what he says, keep your cool, and do your best not to say anything to make him feel defensive. Just be very clear about your feelings and your desire for him to stop this behavior.
To be honest, I doubt very much he will change, and I don't blame you for not wanting to live with this situation. The reason I am suggesting that you talk to him about it is to make it clear to him exactly what the problem is so that if/when you seek a divorce, he cannot claim that he didn't know there was a problem.
Internet addiction, particularly internet porn addiction, is a serious problem and is not easily "cured". I'm glad the two of you don't have any children. That will make things much easier, at least when it comes to legalities. Emotionally I know it is devastating, and I am very sorry you are going through this.
Not to talk about it
I have NO problem with the "poor" being treated medically or otherwise -- what I as an "American" have a problem with are ILLEGAL immigrants coming into this country and expecting things to be handed to them on a "silver platter." I have lived in Southern California, Nevada and NOW here in Miami and let me tell you if you DON'T speak Espanol in Miami, you are SOL!!!!!
I have also worked for state and federal agencies where I have seen minorities (excluding Caucasian women) getting preferential treatment.
Granted, this country was built on people immigrating to this country, however, it has now gotten to the point where our children and grandchildren have to learn to speak Spanish as THAT has become "the language of our country" and we as citizens are having all of our rights and laws taken from us -- for example, do a search at the state laws that "passed" as of July 1 -- Virginia's being the worst by far -- as AMERICAN citizens as well, we have by CONSTITUTIONAL law, the right to defend ourselves and our property, but those rights are slipping away as well.
Why? Because "All We Like Sheep" -- we need to learn that doctors and healthcare professionals are like we are -- I had one resident whom I kidded and joked that with his handwriting, he would never make it as a doctor because his writing was too clear -- stand up people for what you believe in -- look at the laws that have been passed and take it to your representatives, and forward -- THEN maybe when the voice gets strong enough, we can be heard as MTs and make a difference
Off DE soapbox for now
Talk
To the teacher, principal, someone at school.
Well of course I have tried to talk to him (sm)
For years...talked and talked, went to counselors, read books, prayed, begged, cried. It's not like I just pretended there wasn't a problem and started talking to other men.
talk a lot,
determine where your hearts and committments are. You can get past this and have a marriage better than ever, if it is what you both determine to do. Time and effort, not to mention prayer, can heal.
I think your best bet would be just to talk with the
facilities themselves. My daughter just had a $5000 medical (ER) bill that my interim insurance chose not to cover because of an exclusion rider (started new job, did not take Cobra but a private policy). I just talked to the hospital personnel and they sent us paper work to fill out to maybe help with the bill. Also, you can set up a payment plan of only $10 a month. As long as you pay it every month, they cannot come after you with bill collectors, anything like that.
Our local news had an article on companies that will negiotiate bills and the like for you, but a lot of them charge fees and are not totally on the up and up.
All this talk below
where my husband and I stand regarding number of times per week/month... whatever. We are in our early 40s and we do at least 3 times a week and he seriously thinks it should be daily. I think he gets it more than most; maybe not.
Talk about HOT!
Man is he hot! What's not to like about him. I heard shortly after he and his wife (don't know if they were married at the time), but they were selling something called "butt art". Like finger painting but with the other end. HA HA HA.
Anyone now a days in Hollywood that will come out and admit they have a problem and get help for them I commend them, unlike policians who hide it. :-)
I just saw him on David Letterman last week. He is still looking great with all the gray. Still as hot as when he first came on the movie scene.
You need to have a talk with him, and tell him what you need.
Regardless of the risk, the choice to take it or not should be yours. Tell him that you NEED this, it's important.
I think you both need to get out and help others, and you will probably get more help out of it than they do. Can you volunteer someplace where there children, or elderly people? Homeless people? You need to stop moping around going oh dear, oh dear all the time, and go help someone who really needs help. It will definitely help your mood and make you feel better.
Do you have any friends, or good neighbors? You don't sound like you have much of a life there, other than working and listening to your husband whine.
do you talk about it?
This place is what I mean....
Sometimes I mention to people, that 'someone on the MTStars' said this or that, and they look at me like I have three heads or something!
I just seem to know lots of people who don't even KNOW what a message board is ... just wondering if it's cause I live up here in the boonies?
Please...I need someone to talk to...sm
Okay, its pity party time. I may need to get a professional's help, but I figured I'd start with you ladies first as you're my "free therapy."
I am feeling really, really guilty about not seeing my dad as much as I "should." So, here's the story. My dad is an alcoholic. He kept it from my mom and I for about 10 years. See, he left when I was in 6th grade and not in the typical "dad just up and leaves" sort of way. He got a job in another city about 5 hours away. I remember we were all really excited about it as it was a really good career move for him. Mom didn't want to move so the "agreement" was that he would come home on the weekends and see us (right). So this turned into seeing him every month, to every couple of months, to about twice a year (thanksgiving and Christmas). Him and mom are still married (don't know how she does it) but I feel such resentment toward him that it is hard for me to go see him. We only live about 15 minutes away from my parents and are in their town a lot to see my husband's family. However, I choose not to go see my father because it is awkward and weird and it stresses me out to the max.
I get to see mom about 3 times a week as we work together (both as transcriptionists) at our local hospital. I love spending time with her, but not with my dad around. I know I'm hurting his feelings when I don't see him but on his birthday, father's day, holidays, etc. He doesn't drink THAT much anymore, a beer or two a day (we think), but it still bothers the heck out of me when I see him drinking. Although it is better than mom and I trying to get him to bed while he is falling down drunk or driving away, getting a DUII, etc. I would never tell him how I feel because I love him and wouldn't hurt him like that. He isn't very healthy (hep C, high BP, neuropathy, etc) and I don't think he'll be around for that much longer. NEway..getting off track...I just need some advice and/or to hear someone else's stories about something like this. I don't know what to do and it is really getting to me. It does feel better to be able to talk to someone about it though (husband doesn't understand and talking to mom about it just makes her feel bad). Thanks ladies for all of your support!!!
I really would not talk to her or help her
in this case. Would you drive her to the bank to deposit you SHOULD have had?
Did you talk to your mom about any of this?
I would talk to her about getting a restraining order against him and possibly pressing charges for the threats and harrassment. I know this may sound extreme, but your dad sounds pretty unstable. I get the idea that maybe you don't want to be the one to turn him in, that's why I suggested you talk to your mom about doing it and go together to do it.
If I remember correctly, you're married, right? Is your husband at all willing to get involved and maybe tell your dad to stop. Maybe he could get through to your dad a little better.
For the short term with the phone calls, I would answer it the first time he calls and tell him before he even starts talking that "I'm working and I will call you when I'm finished." Then hang up and when you are done, call him. Lay out the ground rules during that callback -- i.e. talking about mom is off-limits. Be firm. If he continues to call you after you tell him you'll call him back, turn the ringer on your phone off. My phone still lights up, so I can see that someone is calling, but there's no constant ringing to interrupt. It might take a few times, but be persistent and hopefully it will work.
When he is gone, we talk at least once a
day, maybe more, just depending on what we have to say. He travels out of state 3-4x weekly and a day without talking to him would be a day without sunshine to me. We are extremely close and spend lots of time together when he is home.
The more you talk against him.....
Your mom is going to try to defend him, so I think you may need to really tread carefully there. It's like when you have a kid (or were a kid) if Mom said do this, you did that, just out of sheer orneriness.
Now as to him sending her his debit card number, I'll be shocked and surprised if any repair shop accepts just a number like that for payment.
Have you tried going to the local police to see if they have any info on him or if they know of anything similar happening to anyone else? You could tell them the bit about the debit card - maybe there is a way to find out if it is stolen or not.
Beyond that, I really don't know what to tell you. Mom is an adult. I'm assuming she is a mentally competent adult, so you can't have her committed or anthing like that. Does she live alone? This is far out there, but is there a possibility you could get to her computer and put a filter of some sort on that would block him ? I don't know if that's possible or feasible.
Good luck.
Talk to your roommate!
If he's a friend, surely you can talk to him!
1. He may want you to leave.
a. Too chicken to tell you.
b. BF took it upon himself.
2. He may NOT want you to leave.
a. BF assumed.
b. BF took it upon himself.
3. BF may be jealous, and wants you gone without your roommate knowing about it.
In any case, the only way you'll know is to talk to him.
Let us know how it goes.
talk about failing
My stepdaughter attends school in Baldwin County, Alabama. She has failed all of her classes with a D or F for the past 4 years (with the exception of PE or chorus). Due to her age, it does not matter what she makes now, she is socially promoted to the next grade. (She is now 17 years old.) She will be placed in the 11th grade next year and only has a total of 5 credits to her name. There is no possible way she will graduate.
Her mother and stepfather do not try to help her, nor does the school other than to keep her medicated for ADD (which she now uses to help her lose weight). The school system just recommends summer school (which is only 2 weeks..go figure!) We have tried to obtain custody but the court felt she would do better to stay where she was ...that a move would just cause more problems ..trying to adjust to a new school, etc. I have offered to homeschool...but that was a no go. Now we are trying to convince her to get her GED and attempt a vocational course so that she may get a job that pays a little more than minimum wage. Unfortunately, she is no dummy. She knows as long as she remains in school, she does not have to work. She also knows that if she fails, no problem...she will be promoted to the next grade anyway. This is a true example of NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND don't you think?!!
Talk to your pediatrician, I am sure they can help you - sm
if not their lactation nurse should be able to. Either that or tell your son that the well has run dry and no more milk (get medication if you have to to stop lactating). He will drink out of a cup if he gets thirsty enough, if not after a trip to the ER for a saline IV might just change his mind. Good luck.
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