The day I felt repulsed by my husband's advances was the day I decided to leave.
Posted By: It goes deeper, respect. on 2007-02-15
In Reply to: Help - Disgusted by husband? - Lisa
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- Help - Disgusted by husband? - Lisa
- The day I felt repulsed by my husband's advances was the day I decided to leave. - It goes deeper, respect.
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guess they decided to leave it up to everyone's
Fo Done: Is it right to leave a husband...
My answer to your question, in your case, is: No.
Maybe now you reject your husband so much because of this letter he wrote you, but I am sure that he regrets it and he wrote it in a state 'when he was out of his mind'. He apologized!
It is very seldom that men apologize.
Give him some t i m e to prove (oh my, I really think in this case it is prove, because it can be replaced by 'showing', but if the majority says it's proof, ok, then it's proof, I am confused now) that he wants to treat you better, give him another chance.
Don't forget, but forgive.
I am the only one who advises you to stay; I cannot believe this. All others give you their own 'horror stories', much worse than yours. Is this giving advice? Counseling?
Keep in mind, you can often give it a try, make it a little better, day by day, it takes only o n c e to leave and this is it, it's final.
Maybe if you stay, down the road, you will thank me for telling you to stay.
But......if he starts to physically abuse you, leave immediatley.
Now I am already expecting comments like....
'emotional abuse is even worse than physical abuse....etc....'
It depends on the grade of verbal abuse; some people regard even criticism as emotional and verbal abuse.
For us, my husband swears my little doggie goes nuts whenever I leave sm
the house. I refuse to believe this. We have a love-hate relationship. haha She always sits in my favorite chair whenever she KNOWS I'm fixin to get off work and she won't budge either! She gives wayy more attention to the kids and husband than to me! I'm the one who feeds her all the time while cooking, so I kid with my hubby that she's afraid her "chef and cook" is not going to come home whenever I leave. I've NEVER seen her act the way my husband describes. He says she runs in circles, runs around, tries to look out the windows and will do this until I come home! the other night my husband took the kids to a ball game and she just watched them walk out the door and didn't flinch the whole time. I think it's hilarious!
Leave some open boxes of baking soda inside and maybe search for carbon filters to leave in there,
s
Wanted to but we decided on sm
The Phantom (have front row seats), Blue Man, and Etta James is going to be there on Friday and my friend HAS to see her. We're only there 4 nights and the first one we get there at 9:30, so we just didn't have enough time. Next time!
Having known the risks up front, I decided
myself never to have a child after 30 even. I had my first at 21 and then my daughter was born when I was 29. I just had always heard the risks and did not want to take them myself. Everyone can do what they want but the older here is not always the better.
I am so glad you decided not to go with Biospot
Funny I did not realize I had emailed you, but couldn't figure out where my post went, thanks for letting me know you got the information. This was several years ago with my cat and she is fine now. Thanks for asking. All for the animals.
It stopped when parents decided to....
be friends with Susie and Tommy rather than parents. They want their kids to like them, don't want to hurt the poor little ones feelings or harm their self-esteem. Instead of rules they compromise, instead of depriving them of certain things these parents lavish them with every material thing they can for fear of being called a bad mom or dad. It's easier to buy the kid stuff and let them do what they want rather than buck up and be a parent. You all know who you are out there. I have to laugh when I see the 12-year-old who is dressed like a 22-year-old who is at the mall with her 35-year-old mother who is dressed like a 12-year-old. I also think the role models in the home have a lot to do with it too. Mom and dad probably don't respect each other, argue, use foul language, what is a kid to do but think that's the way relationships work. Many parents today are raising the furture princess whiny-give me-buy me and prince disrepectful-treat women like crap-selfish adults of tomorrow. We are doomed!
Thanks for all the good information, this is what I have decided
Next year I start drawing over $500.00 per month on a retirement fund (from the hospital that outsourced us). I still wanted to keep working. My thing was I knew before full retirement that SS took away part of the money you make and after full retirement age you can make any and all without them taking away. I want to work after full, draw the retirement starting in 04/2008 and then wait until the full retirement (03/2009) and then I will have the full money. I do not want to quit working, just wanted to see what everyone thought about taking a % off if you took SS before your regular retirement age.he Thanks everyone for all the info.
Decided the same thing at age 40 - good for you!
Of course, people did not like the abrupt change I made and it made many angry, but you know what? I do not care. I am a good wife, daughter, sister, and friend, but I refuse to be a doormat to anyone. Life is too short!
I am the same age and decided the same thing last year.
Though, I fall back into old doormat habits, but I try to keep myself in check on a daily basis. You know people pleasing is a habit difficult to get out of. And by people pleasing, I seem to attract the wrong kind of people... I think the users of the world can smell a person who is willing to overlook users so they can help to feel useful.
I am trying to boost self-esteem and as I do little things for myself, I find I can use my judgement of character better. Instead of helping everyone, I help myself and still feeling guilty. This is something to get over. Once we do for ourselves we have enough inside to do for others in a healthy way.. and it will be reciprocal. How is it that so many MTs are such givers? The old saying "if I would have known then what I know now..." etc.
That was for Bush's plan, which they decided against
The Tax Stimulus plan that has tentatively been decided on is 600 per person that earned at least 3000 in 2007 and then an additional 600 per child in the family. Married couples couldn't have made more than 150,000 either.
We have decided to seek professional help.
My husband and I talked and decided that for all our sakes and to try and do things right, we are seeking professional help to guide us through this.
I feel somewhat more relieved with that in mind.
I hope all this works out for the best.
Thanks everyone
We've decided to use these approaches
first. H is going to call around to see who has stove insulation. I will scrub it down with baking soda like someone else suggested. I have also read on the internet to sprinkle the new insulation Cayenne peper. They said the house had a fragrance for a while, but they never had to deal iwth rat pee anymore. If anything, I don't see why we cannot at least use the top part. I may just get rid of my cake mixes and cookie mixes. I guess I can either give them to my mom or give them to the food bank. We do have a George Foreman MIL gave us for Christmas. I have hardly used it because it was hard to clean. I considered selling it.
Right now, I just don't think we can afford it without using credit. We owe too much already. It is so bad that I have been looking around to see what I can sell. Not to buy a new stove but to pay some of this stuff down. We have Christmas to do and next month we have property taxes, car tags.
I am so glad my younger man decided
to hook up with this lady. It has been more than what I could have ever expected. He was the first guy I ever dated younger, married and never realized such a man existed. Totally in love with him 10 years later.
My father one time decided this was the punishment for my son
Had him write 200 times I must not ...... My father laughed as he told me when my son got through he said, "Now paw-paw can I do it again?" What works for 1 does not necessarily work for another.
Thanks...I decided to make an appt tomorrow (sm)
wondering if I have some compression on my inferior vena cava when I lie down which is causing hypotension...not sure what is doing the compressing though - guess that's why I need a doctor, huh :-)
I've decided to purchase a bicycle and would
appreciate any advice, experience, do or dont's on buying one. One of the reasons I hate cycling is because of those small seats and my backside is fairly large (all the more reason to exercise). I need to start getting more exercise for health reasons or I'm headed in for serious problems.
TIA
The next time I decided to make real
mashed potatoes. Didn't know how many potatoes I needed for 2 people, so I peeled about 6 or 7 potatoes. Once again, too many taters! LOL!
Anyone else with gallbladder problems and decided not to have surgery
and symptoms you had and what did you do instead?
We were considering a rabbit in March but decided to go with guinea pigs instead (sm)
My daughter is 5 and really wanted a cat, but we just aren't "cat people." We have a big dog, and she loves him but wanted something cuddlier. We wanted something that she could help care for and play with. We get the "pigs" out of their cage every day (we have a an indoor fence/play yard that we put on a towel to catch the pee and poop) and let them run around. They have turned out to be a lot more fun than I thought they would. They really don't smell as long as you change the bedding in the cage every three to four days (might go longer if you only had one). From the things I've read and our experience, they are really gentle and tolerant (no one has gotten even an accidental bite since we got them in March, and we handle them ALL the time).
The negatives are that they are quite messy ( lots more vaccuming in the room where the cage is - again might not be as bad with only one - most of the bedding goes flying when they get to chasing each other around), and they can be noisy (especially at night when you're wanting to sleep).
They are terribly cute, and we love them but, like any animal, they are a lot of work. I don't regret it at all, but I can see where it wouldn't be for everyone.
School decided to make a new class/2/3rd graders
I get a message on my phone this weekend from principal saying my daughter was selected to be put in a 2/3 grade class. She is in 2nd grade. I think personally something else is up. Why such a great class being formed in January??? and why call on the weekend? She's not that upset about it, but we just moved to the area and this starts this morning. So now she had to meet new friends and now new friends again. Not sure how I should handle this. I'm upset, but at same time, might not be a bad thing. I do want to let them know I'm not pleased though.
Hysterectomy. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and opinions. I have decided to go ahead with t
After obtaining the opinions of different physicians, the concensus is that my safest bet to avoid developing cancer given my borderline ovarian tumor is to proceed with a total hysterectomy. After pondering and fretting, although I am not thrilled with having a hysterectomy at age 42, I also don't want to be faced with developing cancer in the future, as they tell me I have a 20% probability of developing problems in the other ovary with my history. So full speed ahead....hysterectomy it is. If anyone of you has had a complete hysterectomy, I would love to hear from you regarding how you fared after the whole thing, if you required hormones, felt good, felt bad, etc. Thanks in advance.
I decided to grow tomatoes for my 10 year old who loves them! sm
I planted 2 plants and they grew up so tall - totally pesticide free with no bugs on them all year! We had so many that I would give them to a neighbor. One batch was picked up by a woman who drove 30 miles for our tomatoes! I don't like them.....They were no big deal planting - just put them in the ground and watered every day.
My family decided last year to just enjoy the holidays
We're all adults, no children, and live in small homes or apartments. I NEED tons of stuff, but have no place to put much of anything, and can't afford to reciprocate with a gift. Same with a couple other siblings. My mom's been impossible to buy gifts for, for probably the last 10 years. I was the first to bow out the year before last. I started the ball rolling because I just plain couldn't afford it anymore, and was too busy working all the time to spend hours on end in a department store. I had a new job, no PTO, and NO money, so I alerted everyone that I wasn't going to play the game that year. Turns out it was a relief to all! And last year, without all the holiday 'getting mauled at the mall' disasters, each of us had quiet, happy, stress-free holidays. So now that we've eliminated the gift-giving aspect of Christmas, I finally can look forward to the season and enjoy it again.
I've decided to start a cookie business! Anyone up for helping me out with a name?
I know with the economy and all, it's probably not a good time to open a new business, but I've been thinking about this for years and just want to do it anyway and very happy and excited about it!
So, some words I've been playing around with are yummy, goodies, goodness, sweets, comfort, cookies ... but nothing is really grabbing me. I've even tried to think of ideas without those type of words above, such as "Big D's" or whatever.
If anyone has any good ideas, I'd love to hear them!
My children watch it to see the babies...I watched it one time and decided (sm)
I could not stand the condescending way Kate talked to and about Jon. She was so insulting and demanding of him, I can't see why anyone would want to live like that. I feel sorry for the children, but they have not been allowed to have a normal life anyway, and they should not be raised to see their dad take abuse from their mom, so good for him for standing up for himself.
Well I too have been there,felt that, got OUT : )
x
I know how she felt!
I keep looking behind blinds and checking the windows, etc. I think I will keep looking over my shoulder for quite some time. I just wish I knew how it got in! My step-father got a chuckle out of it, but understands. I asked him tonight if it will ever happen again. He smiled and said, maybe. I said when? He smiled and said . . maybe tonight!!
I felt the same way!
I though the ending was very disappointing! I hope he goes on to write more books about these characters because that will make it worth my while. I read this when it first came out in September. After reading The Quickie, this You've Been Warned left a lot to be desired for sure.
Ha! Most of us have felt that way before, (sm)
but I think there are solutions for everything a dog does.
Cats are the really tricky pets IMO. :oD
How I felt when my Dad did it to me
I will not tell how many years ago this has been, but believe me it has been quite a few. My father believed in spanking, using a hairbrush and using the belt. I had three brothers and we all got a dose of each of this method of discipline, and today it still bothers me and brings me to tears when I think about it. I was not a bad kid, just the opposite, but my younger brother and I did not agree a lot of the time. It is bad enough when any child has that kind of punishment, but when you use this on a girl, I believe it does carry an emotional scar for the rest of your life, and I believe it does not teach your children anything in the way of how to handle problems, and how it must feel when a person in authority in their lives can carry out this inhumane act and it is okay, but let a child rebel in this manner toward someone else and they wonder what is wrong with the child, well we are teaching them this is perfectly acceptable to do, and there is nothing a child can do about it. This is the ultimate form of humiliation for a child, and nothing can justify to me that it is right. I know when my father took a hairbrush and belt to my brother and I, I never felt worse in my life. I felt anger, humiliation and just felt like the most unloved person in this world,and being the age I was I did not think it was appropriate that my father treat me this way, and not especially in front of my brother, who I felt terrible for also. Those chldren also depend on their parents for protection, and when a stranger can be given authority to do this, your child is devastated. Discipline, I believe, belongs at home, and there is a better way than this.
I too felt as you did.
I wanted to address the part about being a hypocrite and eating meat. I felt the same way as you do about this. I was a huge carnivore until I was 38, but always dreamed of being animal flesh free. I then went to an animal rights conference and forced myself to watch the undercover videos of the slaughter houses and that is what it took for me to stop. It was hard but so worth it.
I once heard Alicia Silverstone say something to the effect if you can only eliminate one meat at a time that would be a way to start. But if you can't then you try to help the animals in other ways such as fostering as you tried. Fosterers are heros, I can't do it as I have huge issues about letting them go too like your daughter. We all just need to do what we can do. I haven't given up wearing leather shoes, though want to, but I say I am doing my part and when I can I will. I also still do dairy and hope to one day be totally vegan. Just know that if you are trying and helping to be a voice for the animals that is all you can do and try to move towards a more humane way of life in all areas of your life as you are able.
When people say to me, well the dairy cows are the most cruely treated, why are you eating dairy, I say "I am doing what I can for them at this moment, in the future when I can do more I will, but I am doing my part by eliminating meat. Good luck to you Trose, and thanks for helping the animals.
I felt the same way -- sm
What Harrison (#92) did was wrong. He should have been ejected from the game. Most of my family and friends are Steelers fans and we all felt the same way. I'm happy for the rest of the Steelers. Ben's just a phenomenal QB. I hope Harrison receives some sort of penalty to his wallet for that one.
I must say, though, from the getgo my heart was torn between the 2 teams. I was never a Cardinals fan, but then I read Warner's (QB) story and he just seems like a great guy. I hope he hangs in there for another year. It was reported last night that win or lose he would be contemplating retirement.
I also felt like someone was behind me
and I could not turn to see them. I just knew I was awake, knew 1 time on the couch and even to make myself know I was awake tried counting something, threads in the couch, cracks in the ceiling, who knows, years ago but this is without a doubt the most horrifying thing. I knew a monster was behind me, could not turn to see, could not speak, I hope it never happens again.
I felt the same way about it...sm
I was hoping for something outrageously goofy yet touching, like that musical episode they had a few seasons back.
Grazie! I love the 3 Tenors! We've decided to make 2 batches
of Limoncello just in case the ginger falls flat. Thanks so much for the YouTube vid.
Happy New Year!
I felt nauseous until about 1 p.m. every day (sm)
and that lasted about the first three months. What really helped me was sucking on peppermints. I did this with both pregnancies and it was the only thing that made me feel better.
Congratulations and good luck to you!
been there, felt that, got counseling
We had been married about 15 years when I began to feel that way about my husband. We do not have kids, so let me tell you that I had little motivation to even want to try to work on things. Hubby suggested counseling (both group and just the two of us). After about a month of this and reading a few books at home I felt 100% better and those feelings of nearly hating him for no apparent reason went away. We worked hard on communication, which we had let slip over the years, during which time I harbored all kinds of hurts and resentments for things he had no clue were even making me upset, mad, disgusted, you name it. We will be celebrating our 24th anniversary this year and cannot be happier, so it CAN be done with hard work. You have first got to put your relationship as priority 1! Please do not just walk away without first trying everything you can!
When I had trouble, it felt like a really...sm
sharp, hard pinch along my sternum. I was given Motrin. I did have a workup first before the doctor decided on costochondritis - EKG, treadmill, echo. I do have mitral valve prolapse.
Well I'm sure she'd do the cooking if she felt up to it.
We can't decide for others when they are going to throw a party, though she seems to be thrusting one on you!
Poor kid.... I felt bad for him
I agree that he surely didn't measure up vocally to the others. He seems like a nice kid, though, and even most adults couldn't take being talked about the way he has been. I really felt for him up there. I hope he has a lot of fun when they're on tour. I think he's going to be getting the biggest reaction from the crowds.
Yeah, I felt bad for him too.
I think his tears showed just how much pressure he's been under all these weeks. He never did anything wrong. It was the judges who let him through that started this mess. He is just a kid after all wanting like all the other contestants to win. While I'm glad he's gone, I still don't wish him any ill will. Just those idiots at Vote for the Worst. They've got to go!
The ONLY one I have ever felt for in their case is....
Years of therapy due to what both of her parents have done. THEY have done it - nobody else - and the child is COMPLETELY innocent at 11....
In these cases, it's only the children who suffer...and these 2 nutcases should definitely know better, not like they are ill-educated and/or ignorant throughout the life.
Evidently they both need parenting classes and anger management classes....they have both created a very bad emotional situation for their daughter and personally she should probably be removed from their homes (possibly placed with a grandparent or some other relative) until these 2 nutcases CHOOSE to get themselves together.
You did what you felt you had to do at the time SM
and I wish the very best for you and your family now. I think you did the right thing by reaching out. I am sure in so many ways he misses you as well. It may take some time, but I think this will have a happy ending. Try to take it one day at a time and rest assured in what you have done by reaching out.
LOL! I felt the same way. I thought SM
there for a minute she was gonna fall off that
HOT TAMALE TRAIN!!!!!
Wow -- after that post -- I actually felt
like I just got a massage. My hubs bought me a GC for a massage this past spring but I haven't used it yet. I'm waiting until a little closer to the holidays when I'll probably need it the most. At least now, I don't feel so funny about getting it.
I felt the same way about Rose.
She got stuck with a crappy group and had to pay for it. I liked voice and her a lot.
I have long felt
that all of these things should be legalized and controlled but available. The drugs should be available through drug outlets (so the safety could be controlled), prostitution should be licensed (so that health can be safe-guarded), all should be taxed and produced by licensed manufacturers (to ensure save procedures).
Laws should prohibit driving or performing any critical function while under the influence (many drug-users would have to accept that it takes longer to get past those affects than it does for alcohol (according to current research), minors must still be restricted from their use. At least some of the money realized from the taxes and the license fees should be devoted to helping people to stop using any of these things and an educational program should be undertaken to truthfully explain the hazards of usage.
I don't enjoy drugs (including marajuana and alcohal) and would never look forward to not being in complete control of my actions. I don't want my friends to use them either. But to forbid it is not reasonable and only encourages those who are determined, to break the law and undulge in practices that are even MORE unsafe because there is no one to oversee that they are properly done.
I feel pretty darned good, all on my own and perfer to handle that end myself.
I moved from CA to WA and I felt very...
welcome. Maybe it is more perception than anything, but I miss my Washington neighbors very much since I left. They were great people.
Poll. The Nebraska high court decided that the electric chair is inhumane. What do you think? nm
I think it should be legal and used in certain circumstances. I mean, if DNA proves that the person committed the crime, confesses to it, is caught on tape - why can't the electric chair be used on them? What about the inhumanity that the "convict" used on his victims?
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