The bride magazines say no white, ivory, too sexy, and don't

• RE: Help on mother of the groom dress - see message - Kristie
  • Dress - nana
  • The bride magazines say no white, ivory, too sexy, and don't - mom
  • Our son just got married in May and I bought - my dress at Macy's on sale
  • My 50 y/o bud was THE most matronly MOB you can imagine in a long brocade gown & bolero jacket. - Looked hideous! Didn't ask anyone's advice,
    • nm up there. Sorry. nm - NM
  • Afternoon or evening ceremony? What is the other mom wearing? What looks good on you? - All things to consider. nm
  • I'd take a friend shopping with you. - Misha
  • Whatever it is you choose to wear... - pdqtrans

The messages you are viewing are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select the boards given in left menu

like a pain, I feel sorry for the groom! If she does not like your dress she can buy you a new one and any accessories you might need to go along with it. Or you can simply not be the keeper of the guest book, which is what I would do if I were you! Good luck and don't feel bad! If this ruins her "special day" she is pretty shallow!

See the link below.

My friend just got married. When I went to the store and requested a copy of the bridal registry, I found several $200-$600 items on the registry. I was shocked.

I do not know if it is proper or not, but I have always been told you "pay for your meal" in the gift you bring, so I always assume at least $75 to $100 for a sit down meal. But, she and her fiancé are both middle class at best, so I was not initially expecting a big wedding.

When I saw so many $200 to $600 on the registry, I concluded, incorrectly, that they had decided to throw a big bash. I bought my gift very late and the registry still did not show that ANY items over $150 had sold. I spent $150 on my gift, which was more than it looked like anyone else was paying, but if you wait until the last minute, your options at the low end are very limited! That is my own fault!

They actually served a very low budget buffet, prepared by neighbors and friends, for the meal. It was actually a lower budget wedding than I expected. I am not criticizing their decision to save money on the wedding. I think lots of people spend way too much money on weddings. BUT, I do think it was rather presumptuous of her to register for such pricey items when most of her friends and family cannot afford them and when she was not throwing a fancy wedding.

I am not complaining about spending $150 and not getting "my money's worth" from the meal...that is NOT my point at all. BUT, I do think if you are going to put items like that on your bridal registry you need to consider who your friends are and whether or not your circles can afford such items. I am in a financial position where I could decide to buy a $150 item, but not all of her friends could even go that high and there was very little below $100 to choose from even if they were the first ones to shop.

Is it really typical for middle class people to request such high ticket items for wedding gifts these days? Or was it actually as presumptuous as I perceive it to be?

*Bridesmaid’s Contract*
Hello my beautiful bridesmaids! Let me just say again how happy I am that you are going to be a part of my special day! Below are just a few guidelines for the wedding that I’d like you to review, please initial by each point, sign at the end and send back to me. Just want to make sure they’re aren’t any surprises! The planning bride is a happy bride!
Thanks a bunch! Love ya!
-The Bride-To-Be

______ My hair will remain at the length it is now or longer.
______ I will not change my hair color without first consulting BRIDE and providing a sample photo or hair swatch for consideration.
______ I will use Sally Hansen’s “Maximum Growth-Daily Nail Growth program” every day for the 4 months before the wedding day.
______ I will not gain more than 4lbs from the weight I was when I was asked to be a bridesmaid.

(Sarah and Anne only for the point below…)
______ I will join a well-known weight loss program and through whatever means necessary will lose the desired amount of weight as previously discussed with BRIDE at the time when asked to be a bridesmaid in her wedding.

______ I swear to attend all showers, (lingerie, kitchen, bridal & bachelorette) to arrive in a timely manner and do everything in my power to support and “be there” for the bride.
______ I will purchase the DESIGNER style # 464 dress below in Pistachio/Ivory within 3 weeks of today.
______ I will NOT knowingly get pregnant without notifying BRIDE at least 6 months prior to the wedding so a suitable alternate can be found. I will also give my purchased bridesmaid dress to said alternate.

I do hereby swear that I will adhere to all of the above & other understood bridesmaid duties for the wedding on DATE, 2008
X_________________________
(sign, print and date)

I don't know if this is crunchy, but it does get sort of a crust on the outside after awhile.  If this isn't it, maybe some more info?

FLUFFY BOILED FROSTING

1 1/2 cups sugar 2/3 cup water 1/8 teaspoon cream of tartar 3 egg whites Pinch salt 1 teaspoon vanilla In a heavy saucepan combine sugar, water and cream of tartar. Slowly bring mixture to a boil, stirring sides of the saucepan with a brush dipped in water to remove any sugar crystals. Cover and boil for about 3 minutes or until a candy thermometer registers 245 degrees. Beat egg whites with pinch of salt until glossy and peaked. Slowly pour in syrup as you continue to beat the whites. Beat until cool and frosting is soft and fluffy. Fold in vanilla

I'm not sure if I'm missing something here or what, please tell me what your thoughts are - believe me I'm ready for anything anyone can tell me.

Situation - dad is out of work.  He's 72 years old.  He's going through the employement agency, applying to at least 3 places a week, if not more.  He can't retire and live off social security and military retirement because they don't pay enough.  He has been living with his girlfriend (which I consider wife) for over 25 years.  They live in a moderate size house, but it's a little strange arrangment.  He has 2 bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs, she has bedroom/bathroom downstairs but everything else they share.  My mom told me years ago that she believes he proposed to her and gave her an engagement ring but she couldn't be sure (mom and dad stayed friends after they divorced - as long as they weren't together for more than an hour :-o)  Anyway...unemployment office set him up with a free email so he could apply to places and give an email address (it was through something called ymail).  Dad said he was going to go through 2 days of computer training per the employment agency, that way he would at least know how to turn on a computer.  He's got a good sense of humor, is in just a bit of a rut but he keeps applying and hoping he'll get something, but he did tell me he has to be realistic and what place is going to hire a 72 year old man.  He's had a long history of injuries, had his ankle pinned years ago and every once in awhile will need to use a cane, but for the most part he gets around very very well.

Now...here's the deal (oh yes, I forgot to say he lives on the other side of the country from me).  Anyway...yesterday my sister calls and said dad was there (at her house) and asked if he could check his email but she didn't know how to get on.  I tried to see if I could help but we could not pull up anything and I was on my way out the door.  So I called back and this is what she told me (which is why I'm wondering if I over react or not react enough or what, or is my sister just a cruel-hearted you know what).  I told her I was sorry I couldn't help more but I had to be somewhere before they closed.  She said it was okay because it was taking forever and he couldn't wait around.  Then she said "you know dad is going to have a hard time finding something because he is so particular".  I asked what she meant and she said he's being too picky.  I again tried to figure out what she meant.  She said there are jobs he could do but he won't.  She said that he told the agency that he needs a job where he can get home at night because he has some animinals he has to take care of (in other words he can't be gone for days like driving truck).  He also said he couldn't do a job where he would have to be running up and down stairs and running from building to building because of his ankle and being 72 years old.  He said most everything esle he would do. Except that he doesn't want a job where he has to drive so far that whatever he makes would just be paid in gas to get there (which there were a couple jobs like that).  He called me and said if he wanted to truck drive he could get a job, but the places want him to relocate across country (and not near us), so he told them no.  Well my sister got upset and was telling me that he could relocate cos he has no ties there (which I was surprised to hear because she is close to him and I would think she wouldn't want him to move).  I told her what does she mean no ties.  I said he's been with his girl (thank goodness I didn't call her a wife) for over 20 years, he has a house (even though his name is not on the ownership papers he takes care of it, repairs, etc), and he has about 7 cats.  I told her he's 75 years old (to which she about bit my head off and said he's 72).  Then she proceeded to tell me he has no ties to his girlfriend.  She said he lives in 2 bedrooms upstairs, and the house is hers and she need to learn to live on her own.  So from that I took it she doesn't think highly of his girlfriend, which I happen to think she's a very nice lady.  I remember a few years ago after my mom died my dad told us what his wishes are (he has papers, a plot and all that stuff so if anything happens its all taken care of), but at one point something happened to him and my sister (who happens to have joined a mormon church) told me that if he died his girlfriend should have no say in what happens (service wise).  I knew what she was getting to because the same thing happened when my mom died.  Mom had cancer and I talked to her often in the hospital.  She asked me if I had strong feelings about what kind of funeral service she had.  I asked mom what kind did she want to have.  She said she was a strong episocopal, but my sister really wanted to have her church do something.  I told her don't worry about me just do what you want to do.  She said she didn't want to hurt my sisters feelings.  Anyway...she didn't have a mormon service, but a guy from my sisters church came and spoke at the funeral parlor about my mom (even though he didn't know her - kind of was uncomfortable listening to him, but at that point I didn't care and my sister was really happy).  However, afterwards one night my sister asked if I was upset about him talking and I said no of course not (which I wasn't).  She said she was glad because she had talked to mom before she died and mom was so curious about being a mormon and said she had wished she had time to become a mormon before she died (which I knew was a lie because I had been talking to my mom all along).  I just said that was weird because whenever mom talked to me she said how strong she was in the protestant faith.  Anyway...sorry for the side step, but I think what my sis was getting at was that when my dad dies my sis wants to run the funeral and have a full blown mormon service (which I know for a fact my dad doesn't want - he's catholic, but just doesn't go to church, but does cite the rosary and knows more about that faith and that is what he believes (he comes from a long line of catholics).  Anyway...sorry for that detraction too, but I was just shocked to hear my sister say she think my dad who is 72 years old should box all his belongings up and move across country and try to start a whole new life in an area he doesn't know. 

So, are things black and white or does my sister just not have any sense.  My aunt (mom's sis) told me one time that my sister doesn't have one shred of compassion for anyone.  My aunts dog died and my aunt cried for days and days and days and my sister never called her to see how she was doing.  Also sis's MIL was very sick and sis treated her horribly.  Sis sees things in black and white and she will say things that I think to myself how can she say that, that is not how we were raised.  Yet she always has compassion for those in her church, just not family.

Okay, sorry to drone on.  Just felt frustrated.  What do you think  Believe me you can say anything you want, you will not hurt my feelings.

Our family frequents a mexican restaurant and they have this awesome cheese sauce.  Wonder if anyone has a recipe they use and would be willing to share.  I tried something yesterday evening and it was a disaster!