That was the deciding factor--sm

Posted By: DeeAnn on 2009-01-07
In Reply to: Life is too short - life is not that short

in my separating last year. I saw a Dr. Phil promo where he said the only thing worse than staying married and unhappy for 20 years was staying married and unhappy for 20 years 1 day!!

This has been the best year of my life. I was married for 26 years and lived w/o love, joy, or any communication other than how stupid, fat, lazy I was. Knew it was untrue, but took an ad on TV to really KNOW it. Good luck.

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Need advice from those of you who have been there. SM - anon
- Wow - same exact situation - mirror image
- Use caution.... - Innocent Bystander
  - Very well said... - me
- reverse it - reverse it
- Lady, just get out. You women who vacillate should I or - heres2cents
- OMG! Some of you people!!!! WTH??! sm - dumbfounded
  - ranter - me
- I am the OP and I did not mean to get people angry here. SM - anon
  - Feelings may be temporary sm - anonamiss
  - You do what you feel you need to do... - Been through it....
    - I get this little vision of you - LOL
      - as my version of "born again christian" - I'm glad you had a chucke
        COME ON PEOPLE!!! - christian
        Definitely take this gals advice! - what can I say?
  - I am in a very similar situation (sm) - anontoo
- I don't know the circumstances around - don't know
- I don't understand how people can advise - You know the answer
  - I think it is important to realize that... - Kendra
    - Read OP's post........... - Refuse to live in misery
      - I read the OPs post and nowhere - grams
      - I never once mentioned the Bible and have... - Kendra
      - Perverting the normal - to the troll
        Trolls like this generally are very unhappy people.......... sm - m
  - Life is too short - life is not that short
    - Better to live alone than with someone who degrades you (sm) - some things are worse than being alone
    - What?? You could end up the same way - even if you stayed married
    - And what do you call yourself in - What??
      - gloria - fish and bikes
        I think I struck a nerve with you because - How very mature of you
        name one creature on this earth that - lives alone
        Male grizzly bears, for one. (sm) - Me
        I DO! - some people DO live alone you know
        And you do not have to live with - shaking head
        security - secure
        WTH? That creeps me out - some people DO live alone you know
        No you do not have to live with people - still shaking head
    - That was the deciding factor--sm - DeeAnn
      - Not the OP, but thanks for the encouragement. - Me
    - nursing homes - one more for the throw away men
      - song - man lover
        I LOVE Leonard Cohen! - Kendra
- breaking the vase - my opinion
  - This has to be - one of the best...sm
    - Life is more fluid than a clay vessel, I think. - Me
- I have not been there, but... - Kendra
  - I got married out of fear. Then (sm) - I realized
    - Good for you! - Kendra
- A couple of things.......... sm - m
  - if your ex is the type of person who would allow (sm) - Just curious
    - Also, I tend to look back at decisions I made and (sm) - Just curious
- My parents were going to divorce before I turned 18 too... - AnonInFla
- IMOP there's no such thing as painless - - NYMT

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KEY FACTOR HERE THOUGH . . .
is the financial situation they are in where EVERY PENNY COUNTS. We have to remember they are in a very scary financial situation and women like to have that financial security.

Spew factor!
Okay - Just took a swig of water when I read this and back up the nose it goes! That's exactly what my husband said.

I think weight is a big factor, too.

My daughter didn't start until age 13 and she is very, very thin.

OK, I'll try to explain the ick-factor...
He's creepy...always has nude women on his show, degrades females in general, and just plain perverted. Makes my skin crawl, seriously. He makes Howard K look like an angel, IMHO...that to me is icky...

Thanks - that is a major factor in my decision (sm)
My children. I feel like I am choosing between my happiness and theirs and of course they should win. They are happy now, but if they had to have visitation with their dad - who is definitely a control freak - I worry about their happiness. But is it better for them to visit him than to live with him. And wouldn't I be showing them that you don't have to live like that by leaving??? it's so hard!

don't let money be the main factor
If you think you will like the job and the people you will be working with, take it and don't worry about the money, and if you're not ready to move, hold off for something else.

Spew factor - had coke come out my nose on that one!!
too funny

I think a clean maker can be the biggest factor sm
I have had a Bunn, Mr. Coffee, GE, etc, and the main thing in how my coffee tastes is how clean the maker itself is. I have learned the hard way that it must be cleaned with vinegar or a coffee maker cleaner once a month or the coffee maker will be slow to brew and not have a good taste. Also making sure to check the manual for how much coffee to use - mine states no more than 3/4 Tbsp per 6-ounce cup of coffee even though the coffee itself says 1 Tbsp per serving.