Thanks for your responses/ideas. I have googled and have used the limited refrences from the neurol

• Does anyone know of any chatrooms or message boards providing support for caregivers? sm - Mimi
  • here, I googled that for you.....s/m - s/m
  • Have you tried asking the physician - luv2type
    • Thanks for your responses/ideas. I have googled and have used the limited refrences from the neurol - Mimi

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Here's some ideas :-)

skills that I have.  Cat

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXDonUxBxig 

http://www.alzforum.org/dis/car/sup/support.asp

http://www.care-givers.com/pages/current.html

http://www.ec-online.net/knowledge/Articles/supportgroups.html

http://www.ec-online.net/Community/Activists/can.htm

http://alzheimers.infopop.cc/eve

there are 1000s more online via google.........

What I found scariest is the way doctors commonly try to blow off your symptoms - blame formerly being on the pill as being why it was never this bad before, or just act like you're being a big baby.  Many women on those forums saying "thank god I read this - now I know I'm not crazy".  I went to several doctors (male and female)about the pain and not ONE of them said it could be related to my tubal.  They don't want to admit these side effects are common, and they don't want to admit they don't know what to do about it.  They want us to just shut up and deal with it.  Its shameful the way they sweep this under the rug, and the only way you find out its common is word of mouth. No such thing as "informed consent" when it comes to tubals!  We need to spread the word!  Like call Oprah or something!

Thank you all for your responses.  I have to say that I'm a little shocked by some of the comments, but I I didn't post everything. 

I didn't actually prevent my child from talking to her.  My daughter answered and handed it to my son, and then he proceeded to answer all of her questions about where we were going and what we were doing and what I got him for his birthday. 

I didn't put them in the middle or tell them how I felt about it.  I felt like she overstepped her boundaries, but I decided to post my feelings about it on a public message board rather than say anything in front on them.  I decided I would get some unbiased opinions here before I said anything to anyone.  The last thing I want is to put them in the middle or hurt them. 

I've decided that I'm going to e-mail my ex and ask him not to give my phone number to other people without my permission and leave it at that. 

I do feel that I haven't been a vindictive or jealous ex spouse.  #1 entered the picture right as we were separating, and my kids were really, really angry about it.  My kids saw us as still married and just fighting, so they did not want anything to do with #1.  In fact, they planned this Parent Trap type sabatoge.  I caught them packing worms and slugs in a jar, Ex-Lax, and bubble bath that they were planning to put in her shampoo bottle.  I sat them down and told them that they were under no circumstances to sabatoge #1.  I told them that they were to treat her with respect even if they didn't like her, just as they would treat a teacher that they didn't like.  I also told them that she was not the cause of our divorce, and that they didn't have to hate her.  She was around for a while, and the last few times the kids came back saying, "She says all the same stuff to dad that you do, but she screams it at him."  Then she disappeared.  Despite the fact that they didn't like her, they still had a hard time with her disappearing without a formal goodbye. 

#2 and #3 were just one-weekend things.  My daughter was actually devastated because #2 had a daughter that was her age.  She was excited to go back and play with the daughter and was already telling people that she was going to have this really cool step-sister, but by the next visit he was already on to #3. 

There were 2 more that he dated that I was aware of, but neither wanted to meet the kids, so the kids don't know about them. 

Now we are on to #4.  I'm upset that his family has stopped calling and sending cards and gifts, and #4 seems to be the replacement.  The second time they met her, he flew the kids to her house for Christmas, and there was no contact whatsoever with his family, although they sent gift cards to my home for the kids.  Now my son's birthday came, and his family ignored it, but girlfriend is calling. 

My kids always describe going to dad's house like getting on a roller coaster, and coming home as getting off the ride.  So, when she called, I guess I felt like she was encroaching upon my kids' drama-free zone. 

They are not financially strapped, just too lazy to cook a big meal.  I love the idea of telling them I am having another dinner the next night and cannot spare any leftovers, but they are welcome to take home the remnants of the 2 pies they brought over.    Love it!  This will be a new holiday tradition at my house! 

First of all I am glad so many of you used this board to share your feelings on this issue of hating cats. I have read each one of your posts a few times over and agree wholeheartedly. I have also felt that this issue goes a lot deeper than not liking something with 4 legs and a tail that meows. That is why I brought it up. It is frustrating to say the least and something I could never understand.

Some of the people I have come in contact with who make these remarks will also out of the other side of his or her mouth proudly state how they love animals, just not cats. The last time I checked a cat was an animal. I can certainly understand having favorites, we all do.  What I don't understand is selective animal loving.

One of you posted that you feel these people are missing something. That really hit home with me and actually brought me to tears. I have missed so much in my life having no children, etc. I used to get angry over circumstances I could not control and actually felt I was being punished in some way. All around me are people with what seems to me to be everything.  One thing God made sure I had all my life is the ability to love and receive it 100 times over from animals. It has literally been life saving for me. There is a history of abuse in my past, and this is one love I am not afraid of.

The post that spoke of cats being looked at as evil, the black cat at Halloween hit home, too. That post opened my eyes to a lot of things. My friend I spoke of who went shopping with me and shouted all day long about hating cats said that her mother doesn't like them either. It really does seem to be an attitude that in many cases has been passed down to the next generation. My mother, 90 years of age now, has always and will always have a spot in her heart for cats. She loves them dearly, but because she has dogs who don't tolerate cats she does not adopt cats. My grandmother as well loved them.

I guess when I see a cat I see an animal with elegance and beauty, an individual little soul that walks and cannot be heard or peeks between the railing of my niece's stairway and then very gingerly comes downstairs to sit by the front door. No one can expect everyone to love them, but the one post that said hate is such a strong word says it all. One post said how cats kill birds, etc. I don't like that either, but it is instinct. My friend had an English Springer Spaniel some years ago and called me crying, saying her dog was a MURDERER!  She said she looked out the kitchen window and saw Daisy shaking a little rabbit. The rabbit died and Daisy went on her way. It is animal instinct, and nature can be very cruel sometimes. My mom sat at the living room window 4 years ago and saw a snake come over the roof to get at a bird nest we had been watching. We were anxiously awaiting the flight of the babies. It never happened. 

Some don't like cats rubbing up against their legs, etc. I guess I could never hate anyone or anything that was just expressing love to me. I value what some others hate, and that's part of life too. I am not preaching, just letting some feelings out and learning a lot at the same time.

In my local shelter just a few miles from my apartment by last count about 5 weeks ago there were 500 cats waiting for adoption, and yet down the road from where my mother used to live year after year appears a sign in the front yard a few times a year   .  . Free Kittens.  Like me, so many live in apartments, etc. that do not even allow pets.

Thanks again for letting me open up and let it out. It has helped, and hearing your comments has helped to understand a little better. I have a few little stickers on my dashboard that says it all. It is from the ASPCA. It reads very simply

We Are Their Voice. 

God bless you and God bless all animals.

...of encouragement!  I've always been strong and considered myself to be a 2-legged workhorse, often out lastingmore limber 'kids' and even men when it comes to doing heavy-duty tasks, so to be completely worn out after only a few minutes of mildly strenuous activity is a major bummer to say the least. 

When I say 'crippled up' I guess I mean more stiff and sore than physically crippled wtih limbs and joints I can't straighten out.  However, the pain is so bad I can't even get out of bed without almost falling down and the snap, crackle, and pop when I move around first thing in the morning can even be heard by my husband. 

I do sleep like a log though...nothing wakes me up...I'm down at 10 p.m. and up at 7--and only because I have to pee, otherwise I'm sure I'd sleep until almost noon.  I used to only need 6-7 hours of sleep a night and was a morning person...the annoying kind who could jump out of bed, get dressed, and have chores done, house cleaned, and all ready to sit down to work by 7 a.m...now I absolutely dread getting out of bed because it means I'm gonna be a hurtin' unit all day.

I've been tested for Lyme and that was negative.  The other blood test did have letters...I'm thinking it was that ANA thing but not 100% sure. 

The only thing I've taken for pain relief is Tylenol or naproxen but neither work really well and that naproxen just eats my gut away.  This early winter certainly isn't helping and I've been dreaming by visiting Realtor.com of finding some place else that's not as artic. 

Oye.  Time will tell.  I have another appt this Friday so we'll see what happens then.  Thanks a bunch for listening and offering me advice and well wishes.  They are all appreciated like you have no idea!!!