Thanks for the happy thoughts, but I'm really looking forward to Jan. 2nd and back to normalcy. n
Posted By: Hum Bug!! on 2006-12-10
In Reply to: It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year! - TX
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I am so happy that my thoughts could
give you some comfort.
Something else:
It is said that alcohol lifts one's spirits. This only if one is basically satisfied with one's life and oneself and knows when to stop.
Let an unhappy person drink too much and he literally falls apart in front of you.
You have also to consider that he is constantly under the influence of alcohol, never sober, what a terrible condition is this?
Regarding you thinking getting back with him, it is difficult to give you any advice, this you have to decide on your own, because you know yourself and you know him.
Somebody recently posted on this board,
'Learn how to be your best friend and your best company,'
I think this is very wise.
If this is not for you, why don't you try to find somebody new? I guess you are in your 40s, as you stated that your ex is in his 40s, this is young!
And try to find everyday something that makes you laugh, enjoy every minute you can and take good care of yourself.
Every day one didn't laugh is a lost day.
I wish you really all the best and let us know, later, how it is going and what you decided.
Sincerely,
()
LOL - Should have said "I'm going to my happy place. See you when I get back!"
too funny!
Happy Birthday, Now get back to work!!! LOL nm
x
I'm more forward ...
I would call the nephew and tell them that I had not extended the invitation to he nor his friends, that I am hosting others this year. I would suggest to him that he learn to be a more pleasant guest and tell him (politely and calmly) why.
If he showed up, I would not answer the door.
I would also follow up with my invited guests as an "RSVP" inquiry to make sure you are set for those individuals plus your own immediately family only. I would make it clear you are only expecting those individuals. If they call and ask about the nephew coming, I would state that he had been invited last year and maybe next year you can accommodate he and his buddies but not this year - and he has been made aware of this when he tried to invite himself.
I would not be the slightly bit cool or hateful in my tone but just be very nice and simply state the facts.
Before anyone jumps down my throat, I've raised my boys - I know how a couple of their friends behaved at my home. I did the same with those 2 boys and 1 of them settled down and actually became a great guest. The other, well let's just say he was not interested in being someone we would want around here.
As the host, I believe you have the right to have those you invite, are prepared for, and to have your guests respect the host. It sounds like the nephew and buddies need to learn a little lesson and I would initiate the lesson as above. Whether it is absorbed or finished is up to them.
Good luck!
Oh please, is there a way I can forward this? nm
.
Believe it or not, looking forward to being 66!
Ladies, this age comes before you know it. Seems like yesterday I was in high school and now time to draw my retirement- not stopping work- just drawing the money I have put in. I am such a happy girl- I have really worked over the years- the first year showing was when I was a senior in high school. I have worked many, many jobs, at least 2 at 1 time and it now is paying off. Lacking $76.00, I will get home with $2,000 a month - aint that grand! My daughter is returning to college for 2 more courses she needs to take for her job and I can fund that and would love to take my husband on an Alaskian cruise but he is a stay-at-home and would rather spend his vacations around the house. I will think of some place he should love, perhaps tell him about the good food in Italy and get him there! Time just flies when you're having fun....
Thanks for those words, yes, I am looking forward - sm
to some road trips next Spring and Summer; and maybe this Fall as well. This one sounds just like what you had; same set up inside, beds pull out, bed over the table, whole thing cranks up with a turn handle on the outside. It does have a stove, sink/water; with the hook up outside. Very basic but what else do you really need. Probably cook outside most of the time anyways (have a portable coleman grill too) and I have camp training from Brownies too as a co-leader so open fire cooking is not a problem. We have laptops for movies if necessary to have the kids chill with while we chill outside maybe; and for comfort will put in AC/heat eventually, but we would never use it it the heat of the summer probably, more Spring and Fall so we can do w/o the AC. My DH is so excited about this, as I said he has been really wanting to do this for years. He never got to do anything with his parents (they never went on any summer vacations) so he is like a kid all over when he gets to do things he never did before. I am hoping now that we did get this maybe to do a road trip next summer for at least a week, maybe the Smoky mountains down in TN(after we have AC), or head to NY or maybe Maine, go places we have never been and do whatever. It is getting poured on right now so I will find out tomorrow when I pick it up if it has any leaks at least!
Pay it Forward - let's revive it!
With the economy as it is, I was thinking it would be really great to revive the "Pay It Forward Idea" or the "Random Acts of Kindness" idea. If we could all commit to do something nice for someone we wouldn't have done otherwise with in the next week, and ask them to "Pay It Forward" think of how many people would be affected? It doesn't have to be anything involving money, it can be anything that helps the person in some way or brightens their day. Please say yes!?
I hear ya! I need something to look forward to.
I like to take day trips, Shipshewana, Metamorra, community events where people sell things on the street. Not my husband, that's the last place he wants to be. I've done these things with my sister and my kids in the past. After not going to any of those types of places the last five years, no one wants to go with me next week. So, I'm going by myself.
Just Saturday, I told my husband I was going next week. He asked if the girls were going (they are 16 and 14) and I said nope, I'm going by myself. Kind of scary, but by golly I'm going to do it. I now have something to look forward to!
Doesn't offend me to hear Happy Holidays, Happy Hannuka...sm
or any way someone wants to greet me. As a basic rule, people use the greeting most comfortable to the speaker. What does burn my butt is when someone tries to tell me that my comfortable greeting of "Merry Christmas" is not appropriate. To those who are not concerned with my comfort, I have no concern for theirs.
Merry Christmas to all.
thanks to both of you! i look forward to getting to know him more and will try to posts occasionall
just had to earn more income this week as it is last paycheck before christmas and i have done absolutely NO shopping. guess i'll be the fool in the crowd on christmas eve. just had to share a funny though as i was explaining diff between acute care/clinics i mentioned macros in the breezing. i am now in the process of helping his office MT girls and docs set up some macros for the docs, LOL. they are inhouse, 2 MTs for 6 FM MDs. i'll make sure to invite everyone on MTstars to the wedding!!!! haha, have a hard work day!!
anybody looking forward to todays Dr. Phil???
cant wait, mine comes on in 1 hour...central time..
Several have come forward to plaster their face on TV
and apparently he inappropriately touched some of them so yes he is on the wanted list. You would think by the time women get to be, oh say 17 or 18, that they would have the sense to know when something really wrong as in this case. One lady shown long enough in the tooth to know much better!!
Do you still love him??!!! Looking forward to life w/o him
s
Thank goodness for fast forward on DVR! - sm
One word - LAME!!
POLL:What show are you looking forward to this fall?
I just Netflixed the first season of Friday Night Lights and I am HOOKED! What a wonderful show. I can't wait for that to start.
Also, looking forward to Gray's Anatomy, but hoping for a much lighter season this fall. Last year was such a drag after the first two.
Wow, apparently you have not heard of paying it forward. nm
x
Flash forward: If the bullied child goes postal some day,
Getting the stick sounds pretty straight forward to me
You could talk to someone at the school, tell them what you know, what you plan on doing, and see what kind of support becuase they may suspect problems but don't have facts.
I admit sometimes it seems easier just to look the other way, but what if there was someone that could have helped Caylee Anthony and "looked the other way". Follow your instincts.
If your suspicious prove unfounded you are out nothing but a "friend". He doesn't seem like someone I would want to be friends with and if his child acts the way you say, I wouldn't encourage a friendship between the boys.
C'mon, It's a mail forward, I didn't write it myself.
//
Birthday wish to justme2....Happy B-day to you, happy B-day to you. now make your wish...
I wanted to wish you a very Happy B-Day...I am aging so tomorrw I may forget or at least remember at midnight...LOL...to all you celebrating B-Days this month, Congrats
I never forward things based on threats or promises of luck. (sm)
I forward things that I like the message on sometimes but not because I am told to forward it.
Happy Bikrthday to me, happy birthday
Unbelievable, I have reached the age of 65- where did the years go?? I would retire but gosh, darn just love this work so much, want to keep on working. Hubs had me a delicious huge chocolate cake this morning and daughter coming over for pizza tonight, oh forgot working today also but like I said, hard to give this terrific life up, that is a life in between my working!
Then they can get right back on their tires and rafts and float on back to Cuba! nm
nm
Back-to-back black swans that look like (sm)
a giant moustache. My MIL painted it for us and put our last name on it and my DH nailed it to an outside storage room door. It looks ridiculous, and when the kids have other kids over they always ask why we have a giant moustache on our door!
Hayseed was back a few weeks back
But we haven't heard from her since. I miss her too. I hope she's doing okay.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. Hope it is a good one. nm
nm
My thoughts
I hope you don't take this the wrong way but have you thought about having him tested for drugs? I work in a psychiatric facility and have seen first hand what methamphetamine is doing to this country. As a parent, I would certainly want to know if my child was doing drugs (hope this is not your case) but it's better to be safe than sorry. I would check with your local hospital, police department, prison or even psychiatric ward to see if there are any types of programs that would give him a first hand look at what drugs can do to you.
I advise you to take the upper hand. DO NOT let him threaten you in any way. In my opinion, the children of today could use a few good smacks. As parents, we should be allowed to discipline our children as we see fit (within reason). This is how it all begins, believe me I've seen it at my job. Parents literally have to put restraining orders on their children for fear of harm. Again, I hope this is not your case. I wish all the best.
Take care 
My thoughts -
It really sounds like situational anxiety to me. You have had a lot of life stressors hit you at once. I went through very similar feelings as yours with also waking up in the middle of the night unable to sleep for hours on end and so jittery with my heart pounding during the day I thought I would trip over my own feet and/or have a heart attack. I chose to not use medication because I tend not to do well on many meds. What I did do was make SURE I left myself enough time each day to unwind. Nothing makes you feel worse than not enough sleep. Try a bedtime ritual of a bubble bath and hot tea. When you wake up in the middle of the night take huge, deep, relaxing breaths and force all thoughts out of your head. I call this self-soothing. It does work for me. Is there any way you can get a massage on a regular basis? You would be surprised at how much benefit that can have to your overall well-being. Remember, you are no good to anyone if you do not take care of yourself. Best of luck to you. :-)
My thoughts. sm
If you have Jesus in your heart, no person, no store, no nothing, can take God out of your life.
Thank you for your thoughts.
Yes, I did wonder if may be he is doing something else. He did tell me that he gets a buzz from this. I have no idea why. I will have to "grill him" for more answers.
I know all about the college life. They are totally, for the most part, on their own. No Mom or Dad around to watch what they are doing. Since we had a problem with alcohol over the summer, I am sure he has been drinking at college. I can only talk to him about the dangers of this, that it is illegal since the drinking age where I am is 21 and all the other stuff that we parents tell our kids. It is a matter of will they listen and take our advice. I will keep talking to him, because I love my son very much, but in the end he is an ADULT NOW, as he has told me, and I can only so do much. It is HIS LIFE. The discussions and talking will go on.
Here's my thoughts ...
If they have been making partial payments, apparently they do not have enough income to continue paying the full rent wherever they are living. They should take this as an "opportunity" to get into a cheaper-rent location. This will also buy them some time on collections for the $1900 past due amounts.
I know how hard it is to be in financial straits. Having made a full recovery and living responsibly now, I can say without doubt that poor credit scores are well deserved. It takes poor planning or complete lack of plus poor spending plus poor budgeting plus living beyond means and not ensuring one has adequate compensatory skills to get there. It is very painful no-excuses realization to make in owning up to personal financial disaster.
This could be a great chance for them to evaluate how they truly got into this situation, what they could have done to have prevented it, what they can do in the future to avoid it again, and start fresh.
Lower rent right now, a change in spending habits, build savings, and increase income -- this is the only way they will actually change this living situation permanently. Anything else is just a quick but expensive (not to mention waste of charitable resources if they cannot maintain their current rental) extension of the inevitable.
Wish I could give an easier suggestion for them. If it hurts enough, they'll make changes and avoid it in the future and that can be the silver lining in this very difficult circumstance.
My thoughts
They have heroes! Unfortunately, they are Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Nicole Ritchie, Eminen, all those gang rappers, etc. : (
My first thoughts on this -
I have never personally had a 40-year mortgage. Get a mortgage calculator and figure how much interest you will pay over the life of the loan for both the 30-and 40-year mortgages. That alone might help with your decision. Is this to allow you to buy more house or just to get into the market at all with lower payments? If you are in a very expensive market then it might be the way to go. However, I am not sure I would want to pay all that extra money to the bank for a longer loan. Just my two cents. Good luch to you. :-)
some thoughts
Historically a lot of islands (Australia for one) were populated by undesirables transported from other places to get rid of them.
I had begun to think that (with all the mention of the people being found dead) the island was the afterlife - remembering existentialist (was it Camus or Sartre - No Exit) theory that He**ll is other people.
Still mulling a lot of this over - Locke may really be dead - they have gotten rid of less people this season thus far. More thoughts later.
my thoughts
Mobile homes are very nice nowadays compared to before -- and built better, but they just are not built as well as a home. It may work well for you, if you find the right place to put your mobile home, but you still have hassels of repairs, don't you? What about a reasonable condo or townhouse -- they're built better, safer in storms, and don't depreciate so much; and your condo association deals with some of those repairs, ie roof, and does the outside maintenance. If you go with the mobile home, might want to check out the used ones -- as they depreciate like a car, immediately!
Good luck.
My thoughts
It sounds like she is definitely good at planning an over-the-top wedding and honeymoon, but the fact is that that is between your dad and her. Sure, you can fume all you want and maybe what she is doing is not right because of the cost of it, but it is their life and their plans. Smile sweetly and wish them well. You will be seen as a much bigger person if you just go along with their plans rather than trying to insert your ideas where they are not wanted. Good luck with this. I had a similar situation several years ago. Confrontation does not pay off here. Trust me, being nice as pie will let you sleep easier at night. :-)
My thoughts...
No matter what I weigh, my toosh expands to at least the width of my chair.
my thoughts, as well.
nm
Thank you for your thoughts..sm
I am not one to take meds either and that is why I have stayed away from the family doc. When it first happened he wanted to put me on something, but I am of the belief that a pill only masks what is wrong and you have to learn to deal..and feel..with what is going on. Thank you so much for your thoughts and the hug! I have been looking into some counseling, but we live so far out in the country from where their offices are. Maybe when the kids start back to school I can do that. Thanks again.
My thoughts exactly
That thought crossed my mind a hundred times. The only problem is we are new to the area and don't know anyone here. Sure wished we had our own place where we could just take her but some things are beyond our control.
Just thoughts
but horrific rib pain can be either costochondritis or a rib fracture.
(You can fracture a rib playing golf and all kinds of weird ways).
Shingles pain can follow around a rib. Is it nerve pain?
My thoughts...
Something like that, 38 and 18 sounds to me almost like child molestation because 18 is still so young. If talking about people in their 30s and older, I'm not sure it really matters. I was married to a man 12 years older who was very active and young at heart. I am now with my current husband who is 5 years younger and he acts like an old man. lol So there you go.
my thoughts...
I agree with the other poster who said this was an emotional affair and to end it now. You've never met in person. Online or on the phone, one can be whomever one wants to be. Meeting in person is another thing entirely. You're *in love* with what you've made this person out to be. I'm sorry, but you don't know the *real* him yet. I don't want to sound harsh, but let it go. He's married and sounds intent on staying that way. Let him go. Move on with your life. Don't waste another day worrying about this man. I know it's easier said than done, but it's really your only choice.
My thoughts are with you
My thoughts are with you as I have had the same experience. I lost my son, my youngest child, last year in a car accident. We just celebrated what should have been his 22nd birthday the day after Thanksgiving. The days seem to get better, but they are never easier. Just thinking of him sometimes sends me right back to the dreadful phone call. I have found that I have two lives, one ended the day we lost him and another started the day after. I visit him every day on his memorial website..as do lots of family and friends. www.eric-shavensky.memory-of.com
Thanks for your thoughts. Definitely not best for us, but
when she looks at me with her BIG eyes I think she is telling me to let her go. The problem is, she keeps on purring. That is the hardest. I am trying to hold her as much as possible today but that makes it even harder.
Some thoughts for you -
I was not attracted to my husband at all when I met him. We devolped a friendship that grew over time and THEN I found myself very attracted to him. Still am after all these years. We are about to celebrate 25 years of marriage. I am SO glad I did not brush him aside because I did not feel instant attraction to him. Just something to think about!
thoughts
He can't understand what you did simply because he isn't a parent yet. He will probably still be mad about it for some time, regardless of whether he needed it or not. Someday when he is a parent he will understand why you took him, but probably not before then.
I think you did the right thing. In cases like that you just have to assume the worst and go from there. You would have never forgiven yourself if you hadn't taken him and then something terrible happened. He may never want to tell you what he and the therapist talk about, and that's okay. I'm sure you're just dying of curiosity, but not much you can do about it. He has to know that what he says won't be revealed unless he wants it to or he won't open up.
Thanks to everyone for your thoughts...
I knew you were a great, animal-loving bunch. I have found myself doing things as always, like making sure he's not sitting at the door waiting to come in or asking one of the kids to let him out, and then I sink all over again, but I know it will get better.
Thanks again.
My thoughts
I've only been married once (still am), but my brother has been married 3 times. I think that a wedding shower is generally geared towards the bride. Therefore, if this is her first wedding and not the groom's - go for it. If it is the bride's second or third wedding, it just looks greedy. If she's having a shower for the pure fun of getting the girls together - then just make a notation on the invitation of "no gifts". However, it sounds from your post, that she's looking for gifts.
It would seem to me that she'll be getting enough gifts at her wedding. I don't think a shower for the sole purpose of getting gifts is appropriate. I also have 3 kids and only had a baby shower for the first one; although, I have to say that I've been to several baby showers for 2nd and 3rd babies. In those cases, I usually bring a small gift - diapers or an outfit and a gift for the big brother/sister.
A few thoughts
This is a difficult time when your daughter is trying to become her own person. Unfortunately, she is young and doesn't understand how to do it properly ... we have all been there in some way (and still are in many ways!). :)
It's not good to go too far to either side (too permissive or too strict). - Maybe you could talk with her and tell her you understand she needs to become more of her own person and help her to feel she has some choice in her decisions (without letting it get out of hand).
As far as the threat to leave home. I would tell her that you seriously hopes she does not make that choice and that the consequences will likely not be the thrill she is anticipating.
If you had any similar issues in your own teenage years, maybe you could share them with her. Also point out that you love, care, and worry about her and ask her if she would be concerned about you if you started behaving in an unhealthy, dangerous way (and name some specifics) so she can put herself in the other position for better understanding.
Maybe you could speak with a professional for some guidance.
As far as the father part, I get it. My ex-husband was a drama king and viewed things very differently than I did. It was usually of no benefit (and often made things even worse) when I tried to discuss anything of importance with him. You will have to use your own judgment there (and, again, maybe some professional help).
I had two daughters. Luckily they were mild compared to many, but even they went through things that concerned me ... and I'm sure there are still things I don't know! (There always is.)
Try to think of ways that will feel like freedom for her but not dangerous ... for instance, maybe the curfew time. Maybe you can cut her some slack in that area (even for a couple days out of 7) but tell her that if she abuses her privileges, she will lose them and that is her choice from there.
Also, whatever conclusions you do come to (after careful thought), stick with them so she knows you mean what you say ... and you expect her to mean what she says.
Remember that she will fight harder at first. They always do. :)
I'm certainly no expert ... just some thoughts.
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