Thanks for the advice and sympathy.
Posted By: MTinNC on 2008-07-04
In Reply to: I was diagnosed 11 years ago and that along with SM - Me, too
It's not just the pain, but have you also had such trouble procrastinating, or when you get started, cannot keep concentration? Combine all three, and heavens it is hard to get through a day. I am a bit better today compared with yesterday, thank God.
I will be sure to try the flax oil and taurine supplement you suggested, "MT also in NC." Thanks so much.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
No sympathy here.
I was taken advantage of by a family member when I was very young. I blocked it out for years -- almost lost my marriage because of it. When the flashbacks came I thought I was losing my mind. I feel no sympathy for anyone who does this to a child. Speaking from the otherside of it -- you may move on, but it stays with you forever. It is a club I would rather not be a part of.
No sympathy--sm
I have read the message from the poster below reminding us that the abusers are someones child, as well. That someone loves them too. Well, love them, yes. Condone what they did. NO.
It is just my opinion that these types of people CANNOT be *rehabilitated*. It is as much within them as homosexuality is within a homeosexual person. It is not something that is *learned*. It is bred within them and cannot be *cured*.
I was, and I will use the term that was inflicted on me, RAPED...40 years ago. It is still within me. Yes. I have *moved on* and do not think about it or dwell on it...but the after effects just never go away. It has affected every male/female relationship and some friendships that I have ever been involved in. I have given up on trying to have a relationship with anyone, as my psyche will just end up ruining it. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than to ever hurt anyone else again. The person who inflicted himself on me has nothing to bear within his soul. He will never know the kind of pain he has inflicted upon others. He just gets his *satisfaction* and moves onto the next one..until he is caught. But even then, his *sentence* can never come anywhere close to what he has done to his victim. Ever.
so. no sympathy here. That one *event* changed my life forever, but not his.
Don’t need sympathy from you or anyone here
I said rudeness, saying a person not smart enough to ask something- this is, like I said, a forum. People can and do ask a lot of different things here- not that you have to fricking use the advice! Not that you take the advice always! But, people sometimes have similar things happen in their lives. That is what I am saying. No sense in people being suck jerks!
You have all my sympathy ! Been there, done that. nm
x
no sympathy, as long as they are
rightly convicted. I myself have been molested as a child, not severely, not even long-term, but it has had a PROFOUND effect upon my mental/emotional/sexual being. It took flashbacks after almost 30 years to piece it all together and understand the impact upon my life. and NO, i don't think they 'rehabilitate'. I think life in prison is the minimal most of these offenders should do. Death would be better for the more persistent and violent offenders.
Now I will give you my sympathy as you did for me
the other day as my baby Kitty-Kat was dying. I really feel your sorry.
not a sympathy card...
Just a congrats on your new baby and friendship, etc... No, sympathy on behalf of the baby would be totally out of order. The baby is fine except for a common foot deformity. It is correctable. No she needs a pick me up card. Something to brighten her day.
Not looking for sympathy, in fact
I figure to get the opposite! Doesn't matter! I'm a smoker ... yeah that's right, a dirty low life scum of the earth polluting your air smoker! One of the few little pleasure I have in life. When the price of cigarettes went sky high, we started "rolling our own". It was a lot cheaper, for a while. The price of the tobacco went up, but still much cheaper than cigarettes. Well today, DH was informed at or local tobacco store, that because of a new tax hike, it will go from $9.14 a can to over $20.00 by April 1st? Ok. I'm done, let the stoning begin...
Do you have sympathy for child molesters?
Can they be rehabilitated, or should they serve life sentences?
Many people seem to have such mixed feelings about child molesters, like “Well he’s always been such a nice guy,” (duh, how do you think they convince the kids to trust them?), or “They really can’t help it.”
I personally do not have mixed feelings. I believe they should serve life sentences for the torturing of these children. I believe that 99% (if not all) cannot be rehabilitated, they are child rapists for life. In many states molesters are only charged with a misdemeanor if they fail to register as a child molester. This is unacceptable.
Please write your senators and governor and urge them to fund the ADAM WALSH ACT, which will make failure to register a FELONY and help make consistent and uniform laws for ALL STATES. Most of these rapists are not dumb and take advantage of the vast differences in state laws, hopping from state to state trying to find the most lenient laws.
The link below will take you to oprah.com to download a prewritten letter that can be sent to your representatives and links to their addresses. It took me less than 2 minutes to print all the information out, and it could help change our country.
http://www2.oprah.com/tows/slide/200702/20070221/slide_20070221_284_118.jhtml
It is estimated that 1 out of every 4 girls and 1 out of every 10 boys will be sexually assaulted by the time they are 18. Over 260,000 children are abducted each year in America. PLEASE DO YOUR PART TO HELP.
I just wanted to send my sympathy your way...
May you find comfort in the Lord.
Sympathy cards are so inadequate sm
Maybe the people who did not give you cards had a difficult time finding something and just didn't get one at all because of that. I spent a great deal of time at the store yesterday looking through cards to give a friend who just lost her 7-year-old son. They all say basically the same thing and none of them say the right thing because there is no card in the world that will bring a loved one back. In the end, I did pick one out to give the family but still feel it is woefully inadequate to express how my heart aches for them and their loss.
Need advice on a good, adjustable chair for typing. Any advice? nm
nm
Need help on what to write on sympathy card for baby SM
My friends just lost a baby to SIDS. The funeral is tomorrow. Unfortunately I can't make it, but I'm sending a sympathy plant/flowers. I'm at a total loss for words. What should I write on the card? Appreciate any input.
I was just saying I think it would be out of line also to send her a sympathy card...
I AM leaving her alone. I am just asking for other insight since I don't understand this. Like have other people done this. I am not pushy. If I were pushy I would keep calling and asking to speak with her or go over. I am respecting her wishes. I haven't been over because she said she doesn't want anyone over. How am I pushy?
How important is it to you to receive a sympathy card
How important is it for you to receive a sympathy card? I know this has been quite a long time now (3 years), but still bothers me. My mom died 3 years ago and I received only 3 cards. One from my DH's aunt & uncle and my best friend sent me 2 cards. Nobody else sent me a card. My MIL, BIL (3 of them - all married), SIL, co-workers (8 of them), people in my quilting guild that I've been quilting with for years and years. None of them. I went back for the funeral and listed to my sister and aunt tell each other about how many cards they got and how much they were loved by their friends (they made it into a joke as to who was more loved by who got more cards :-) My sister got about 18 or 20 cards and my aunt got about 30. They said they were sure when I got back I'd have many cards waiting for me (I flew back 2 days after hearing of my moms death). My sister even offered me some of her cards. I came home and had just the 3 cards. My best friend also send me some "cheering up gifts". But still nothing from anyone. I never said anything to DH but it bothered and still does bother me that people thought so little of me than to send me a card letting me know they were thinking about me. The worst thing was that I always sent them birthday, anniversary, and sympathy cards to them. I even would send them sympathy cards when their pets died.
Well I'm over it, but every once in awhile I think about it and it just saddens me. So now I don't send any of them any cards for anything. Just wondered if it bothers other people like it did me.
Dating sympathy (from married person)
I would hate to go back to dating. I've been married 18 years but I do remember what single life and dating were like.
The majority of them were creeps for one reason or another (especially the one going to law school - I got my first clue when I saw a sticker inside his car - his last name is also an occupation and the sticker said _________ know all the right strokes). (eye roll)
I mentioned in another post that I had moved into an apt. with my boyfriend of about a year, and 3 weeks later, he left me for his ex-wife.
At that point, I swore off of men. I figured I'd just live in the same apartment and go to work at the hospital 5 days a week for the rest of my life. That's when my husband walked into my life.
I had first met him in 1985 when, after graduating high school, I went to work at McDonald's. He was a swing manager, 2 years older and so darned handsome. We dated for quite awhile but it wasn't exclusive. He then joined the navy and got married. Three years later, his ex told him she needed to get a life and filed for divorce.
About 3 months prior to this, I swore off men for good. Then, one day, I was working a Saturday at the hospital (I think it was to make up for the day I missed when I had a diagnostic laparoscopy - yeah, it was stupid going back to work the day after you have surgery). I got a phone call from my mom, asking me if I remembered such and such. My husband's sister had called my parents' house but my mom didn't want to give out info, so she called and gave the info to me. I called his sister and we gabbed. I told her I remembered her and definitely remembered him. She asked me to meet her and her boyfriend at a bar along with my (future) husband. Well, I said "what the heck". I agreed to go.
Now, this is 3 days status post a laparoscopy and they weren't as good about getting the CO2 out back in 1990 as they are today and that day, I had gas so bad, I probably could have filled up my gas tank 3 times over. I spent almost the entire date squeezing my cheeks together (thankfully we weren't dancing or doing other physical things - LOL). I still had a really good time but was relieved when I left his house. I lived about 10 minutes away and I swear, I must have passed gas the entire ride home.
He knows all about it now. Heck, I can't remember the last time I even closed the door to the bathroom. We have no kids and if I do close the door, all 3 pugs sit outside and scratch the door, whine and cry. I gave up. I'm sometimes even "lucky" enough to have one of them on my lap while I'm going.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is love/good relationships seem to come when you least expect them. When I pursued dating or had someone fix me up, or met a guy in a bar or whatever, it never ended well. Nowadays, how do you know if you're supposed to pay half for the date?
Like I said, I feel for you guys. If my husband dropped dead tomorrow, I think I'd remain single the rest of my life.
Good luck to all of you and God bless!
I just got back from buying a sympathy card for my brother's MIL, glad I did now. nm
x
IMO a card would not be out of order at all. Except a sympathy card, of course.
I totally agree a sympathy card wouldn't quite be the thing, but it sounded to me that the original poster of that idea didn't mean a sympathy card like one for death. I think sympathy in the sense of "hey, you had a rough time of it with this birth, and maybe things haven't been the way you imagined, but know that I'm thinking of you and I'm here if and when you need me."
I got PPD when my breastfeeding relationship didn't go right, following a birth plan that went seriously awry, and the reality of a fussy, picky baby instead of the happy, sleeping one that I had imagined.
I *did* spend a lot of time on the phone, but then everybody's different. I would have loved to get a cheerful card from a friend, however. Does anybody NOT like a card?
Re: Advice
I am a new mom to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't think I would mind going to work part-time. Well, I've been crying my self to sleep every night. I have my B.A. in Business Administration and have been in the banking industry for 6 years. I have been searching all over for a legitimate work at home opportunity. It seems like medical transcription is a great opportunity. I'd like advice from people who do this from home. I'd like to know where you got the training and what your first job was (since that seems to be a big issue). Also, will my B.A. help at all? I know employers like people with MT experience but I accquired other skills such as meticulous attention to detail that I know is needed. Any and all information is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Please see Main board for all transcription-related topics. This message has been moved to Main.
advice
I do have to say that unless you already have an "in" it is difficult to find a job. Most places won't hire you if you don't have at least two years experience but you can't get experience unless someone hires you. You don't necessarily have to get certified right away just take an accredited program that is specifically for medical transcription. Once your done with school just keep trying, don't give up and try to take your time and ace the preemployment tests. If you do really well some places will give you an offer even if you don't have experience. Take the first job you can get because even if it doesn't pay well you are still gaining experience and it will make it easier for you to get a new job.
Cat advice please....
I have a kitten who is appx. 7 months old. He refuses to eat any kind of cat food, canned, dry, dry mixed with canned, dry mixed with water, cat treats, etc. I have tried baby food, dog food, etc. He will only eat KMR weaning powder, which I mix with water. Have tried to mix food into it but he will not eat it. He tries to cover everything up like it should be in the cat box! No vet seems to concerned about this...he likes to eat chicken, people food chicken that is, and turkey. I am stumped.
This cat MUST learn to eat before May because I am going on vacation for 3-1/2 weeks...any suggestions for this problem? 
Thanks for the advice....sm
I will give each a try! I hate to leave him while on vacation, but have no other choice. And the only reason it is for so long is because I don't fly and my DH and I are driving cross country to see family...I'm sure he will be fine, but no kids at home anymore so they are my babies! It's nice to have people to bounce ideas off of! 
I thank you all for your advice - I am
an animal lover, have 2 cats, 2 dogs. Love feeding the birds outside. I can't help feeling betrayed by these outside creatures that probably fill their bellies at my bird feeders and have now started war on my house. I guess I will start off with putting some Dcon in the attic - as much as I hate to kill them, I don't want my house chewed apart either. I just hope they don't die and rot someplace where I can smell them.
My cats were going crazy last night and spent much of the night gazing up at the ceiling in my bedroom with their mouths watering. I hope at least tonight the invader picks another part of the house to snack and dig so I can get some sleep.
Thanks again for the advice.
And Hayseed - I agree that Indian is a little un-PC, so are some of the ones with the smiley faces shooting at each other, but they're pretty funny (I guess unless you're Indian)!
Re: Looking for advice
Thanks, that was very helpful! I'm sorry about the info overload, I guess I just wasn't sure exactly where to begin asking. I think I'll just get the basic foot pedal, upgraded computer, headphones etc. and get some finanicing for the "extras" that may come up and take the plunge.
My advice to you is
Get yourself the book - think it is called Co-Dependent No More and get yourself to a support group ASAP - not sure what they are called - but if someone here does not tell you then call AA yourself and find out the name of the support group for spouses, family, etc. AND if you don't find a supportive support group - hunt around until you do - DO NOT GIVE UP. Help yourself to understand this disease/disorder and get help for yourself and then you can help him through this process also. Thank goodness you do not have children and good for you for asking for help. E-mail me if you want - lots of alcoholics in my family and would be glad to help you!! Take care. Will be praying for you.
This is THE best advice yet. I always will take on sm
10-year-old son's friends, especially when they say rude things. I'll say, "excuse me, what did you just say? Well, we do not talk like that in this house." And I promise you, they either stop coming around or they are VERY polite around me. If they do slip and say something rude they will immediately cover their mouths and say I'm sorry while looking at me. I do scare them a bit, I suppose. But I show them my authority and that I will not stand for that kind of nonsense and then they stop.
If they did that to me I would have immediately turned around and said, "what did you just say?" And then I'd tell a little white lie and say, "I know exactly who you 2 are" (and I'd say it so convincingly) and then say, "It looks like a call into your mother and father is in order today." Have a nice day, guys."
Thanks for the advice
I am assuming he did it sometime on Sunday. He came limping to the house on Monday morning and there was no sign of blood, no fresh blood or no old blood. It doesn't appear to be infected at all. Now that the flap is gone, I don't see any open areas at all. No swelling or redness and it is not touchy at all. He lets me manipulate it and even squeeze his paw so I don't think there is any infection there. I guess we are really bad - but no vets bills unless absolutely no other alternative!
Need advice about how to get what I want done
Okay here goes I can handle a department but when it comes to cleaning my home I have problems getting across what I want or maybe I am too nice. Tell me what you think please!!!
My home is 1st /2nd floor with a basement (laundry /storage). I want them to thoroughly clean the kitchen (any dishes, counters, stove, fridge sweep mop etc) clean all three bathrooms(completely), dust living room, dining room, and hallways. Tidy guest bedroom (you know dust vacuum). I do not want them to clean anyof the childrens rooms or mine or touch my office. I want all door sills wiped/dusted and ceiling fans and lamps cleaned and about the windows divided out so that they are cleaned at least once a month my kids have to clean theirs weekly. I am prepared to pay $100 to $120 a visit and want them in one a week or every other week which ever works better for them so that it stays decent and can be completed within a 3-5 hour time range. I have to be home when they do it because my dog will not allow it otherwise.
My problem is this I was told what I was asking was not over and above and that I was paying an extremely fair wage since the area they are actually cleaning is less than have the square footage. No work in the basement, only hallway and to small bathrooms on the second floor and all of the first floor. A couple of companies I tried were horrible right off the bat and were not asked back. The individuals seemed to work the best but after a month or two the work was being half done and I would have to go behind them checking. I do not have time for this and I do tip usually about $20 a visit. How do you get them to do everything you want. Should I be totally anal and make a check list and if it is not done subtract from their next visit???(husbands suggestion). I just want it done right I am willing to pay good money so that I can spend my free time with my kids and my husband not scrubing toilets and windows.
Thanks I appreciate any advice
Thanks for the advice- however I do not believe
she is depressed, has loads of things to keep her busy. She basically hurt my feelings when she broke her hip last year and I asked what she would like, pears so I got those, knowing she loved chocolate, got some of that and got some flowers. Oh, I had overdone it, too much. I do not remember her saying anyone else had overdone something. I am not going to say anything but that still does not justify running down something I basically went out of my way to provide for her. I only wish I had a son or daughter either 1 that I could count on like she can with me. Oh, well, guess I will just stop trying to be so kind and keep more to myself.
Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it.
/
advice
I would definetely NOT call the mom. I would try and convince the girl to go to her parents but that is probably scary for her. The clinic is the next best bet and decision can be made from there depening on the result. YOu do not want to betray your daughter. She will be very upset and may not forgive you. I wonder what in the world was this girl thinking to even put herself in this situation. Obviously she figured the morning after pill would be the solution.
need advice
Okay, you all are probably going to think this crazy, but I need some advice and input on a situation. There is a new guy at my church who has flirted with me, sometimes in the presence of my husband. I'm not sure if my husband has said something to him or maybe had someone else say something, but recently, he has gotten to where he will not speak to me at church if there is anyone around. As long as there is no one around, he speaks but doesn't attempt to hug or flirt like he did at one time. He does call me chick and things of that nature (of course, when no one is around), but I'm totally confused on what is going on with him. Yes, I'm married, but my husband has treated my girls and myself like we're nothing the past couple of years and has been verbally abusive, and we've only stayed because everytime I try to leave he gets in the doorway and will not let us go - and he's a big man!! I would appreciate any advice.
advice
First of all MT student, this is no drama story. I think I sent out the wrong message here. I'm not wanting to leave my husband because "church guy" is flirting with me. My husband has been very dishonest the past couple of years about money situations, taxes, etc. plus the verbal abuse and just being a reall jack a**. I can see where you all are coming from with "church guy" though. I guess I hadn't thought about how he really is because I was too caught up in the fact that he was flirting with me even though I'm married. Thanks for your replys and advice.
thank you for the advice .... nm
need advice...
I need advice on something. Does anyone have/had teenage daughters? I have a niece that is 15. Won't be 16 until end of December. I have heard recently through my son and mutual friends of theirs that she has been sexually active for quite some time. She has also been drinking when she is away for overnighters with friends. Do I talk to my sister about this in case she isn't aware of it? My friend tells me I should stay out of it and say nothing. Part of me does not agree with that. If I had a teenage daughter I would want to know. It would be bothersome to me but I'd want to know so I was sure she was being safe and obviously would not get pregnant. I don't condone any of this but they sure are going to do what they want to do and isn't it better to be safe than sorry?
What would you do in this situation because quite honestly I'm driving myself crazy going back and forth with this issue. It's a touchy subject with alot of people I have found out. Some say they would not want to know. Others say it's an invasion of privacy with my niece and she may be very angry with me afterwards. Others say my sister could be mad because I came to her in the first place about a matter that may not be any of my business. I have three boys so this is not my cup of tea. I love all my nieces and treat them like my own children but this topic has hit me hard. When I found this out on Sunday...I cried the entire night. It's how I found out and what is being said about her that really, really bothers me.
I appreciate any suggestions from anyone.
Thanks.
my advice
My daughters are now college age but looking back they went through the same stuff. Girls can only be friends with one at a time. When there is three the drama starts or the gossip etc. My daughters were the one that was usually left out. I tried to rationalize it with them and discuss it etc and gave alternatives but the best thing I could of did was backed away and told them to handle it themselves. My daughters were on and off again for years with the same girls for that reason. One day so and so did not like this one, the next day my daugheter was her best friend again. You did handle it right by reminding her that she did the same thing.
Any advice on
a good 30-minute exercise program? Can't afford to buy anything, go to a gym or anything like that. I am 5ƍ and weight probably about 160-165 and want to get back to 120. Can't do Weight Watchers or anything that costs money! I am trying to watch what I eat, but need to start exercising and don't really know what to do other than sit-ups, jumping jacks, etc. Any advice? Would like to get back to 120 by January/February at least!
Advice from my dad:
"Marry an orphan."
Advice
My 2 cents, all my opinion:
1. Relax. Potty training is not a contest and there is no deadline, despite what anyone may tell you. I remember my MIL having a fit because her grandson was not potty trained on schedule.
2. We had to get rid of the BIG KID disposable underwear that our son was wearing, and give him real cloth underwear. When he was wearing the disposable type, he treated them like they were diapers.
3. My husband and I decided that our strong-willed son was actually involved in a power struggle with us. So, in order to create a more objective environment, my husband used a puppet of a favorite character named Elmo. Our son was 4 at the time, and did not realize that his daddy was the voice behind Elmo. But, Elmo was able to help avoid the parent-child power struggle and was able to potty train our son within just a day or two. Truly, it was just a matter of Elmo being the instructor and the cheerleader, and then we followed it up with more cheers and rewards. Yes, rewards.
Old Cat Advice
We have a 20-year-old cat with a huge mass on his tail. We took him to the vet to have it examined. The vet said that we could either have the mass removed or wait and see what happens. We decided to wait and see.
Now, the mass has burst and is bleeding profusely. The vet shaved the tail, put antibiotics on it, and wrapped it tightly to keep pressure on the wound and control the bleeding. Our only choice, at this point, is to either have the mass removed and biopsied, possibly requiring future amputation if it comes back malignant, or just "cutting to the chase" and having his tail amputated now.
Keep in mind that this cat is 20 years old and otherwise in good health. I feel like we are between a rock and a hard place. I do not want to put him down, yet I do not want to traumatize him by amputating his tail.
Any advice would be most appreciated!
I need some advice from...
I am so upset right now I can't even think straight, so please forgive me for any mistakes in this post...
I just found out that my 17 YOD is sexually active with her loser boyfriend!!! Just writing this makes me want to throw up. How do I handle this. All I want to do is choke both of them. I can't even look at her...it just turns my stomach. I have talked openly and honestly with her about sex for as long as I can remember. I've asked her more than once to please, PLEASE wait until she got married...or at least met the man she wants to marry. This guy she's with is a straight up loser. He doesn't work...he's out of school (graduated last year, so he says)...HE SMOKES...I am just sick over the whole situation. Please, any advice would be so greatly appreciated.
Thanks for the advice...sm
What's the difference between abscessed and infected? I can't bite down on it at all and it feels like there is pressure inside it. It's the same feeling I've had before when I needed a root canal, which I really don't want to go through again. Would rather just have it extracted and be done with it.
No, I haven't called. I'll have to give that a try.
Need advice
Is there anything natural for anxiety for a child. Don't get me wrong, this is not major, but my 6-year-old son is really having problems for about the past 3-4 weeks about me dying. Almost every night when we go to bed or before bed, he starts thinking about it and sometimes crying. He says he is afraid I'm going to die "before he knows it" After the 2nd time, I asked him why was he thinking about that and what was making him think about it and he said church, but nothing has been said in AWANA or Sunday School about parents dying or anything like that. A friend of mine told me to take him to the doctor and maybe they can give him a small small dose of something for anxiety, but I really don't want to do that. I have tried talking to him about it. I just don't know what else to do, but it's starting to really bother me to see him that worried about somehing like that. My parents are 81 and 82 and I've tried to tell him look how old memaw and papaw are and they're not dead yet and it will be a long time before I die, but that doesn't seem to help. Any suggestions?
thank you all for your advice
I never wanted for this to happen. I wanted just so much to get to know my brother and find out the answers behind his death. This man does fill a significant hole in my life and I am afraid to death of losing that happiness. I know he belongs to someone else even if they are or may be unhappy. I just opened myself up way too wide to this man. I don't fault anyone but myself. I don't think I will make it through losing him. I know that his retirement will be the finality of our friendship. I just cannot get to that point. Thank you all for your help and for listening. I pray I have the strength to get through this. I just don't want to let him go.
Thanks for the advice (sm)
I have tried that approach as well, but she has some enablers, namely her husband (who is passive aggressive too, strangely enough) that I don't think she really gets the point. In true PA fashion, she makes excuses until somebody else takes the initiative and then blames them. I read somewhere that PA is the hardest personality to put up with because you will never follow their rules as their rules always change. Boy, is that true...
Need advice
I need some advice. My husband has this very bad habit of getting upset with my girls right as they are getting ready for bed. He goes on and on and until he realizes they have turned him out. Then, after they get to sleep he will go wake them up and tell them he's sorry. I know he is doing this to relieve his guilty conscious, and I have asked him to stop doing this, but unfortunately he continues. Recently, he got upset with them because they had science projects due. They kept asking for his help, and he kept putting it off. Then, he started giving them grief because they waited to the last minute. When they reminded him of their asking him a few weeks ago to help his response is, "Well, all I've gotta say is I better make a 100 on those projects!" Any suggestions on how I can get him to stop doing this?
Thanks for all the advice!
The birds are actucally in a cage right beside my desk, I am watching them right now as I type. They are in a cup-style nest attached to the side of the cage. I did pick up some extra calcuim supplements yesterday at a pet store. I have a cordon bleu and a society finch. We did not get them for mating, was told the society finch was "most likely" a female and we already know the "baby bleu was a female. Haven't seen any egges since Sunday but we were out of town until late last night. Right now the male is doing his mating call. Obviously she is just not that into him. Thanks again. BTW, we used to have larger birds and we gave them hard boiled eggs all the time. Really bothered my daughter, called them cannibals. LOL!
Here's some advice for you ..
1. Look online at Edmund's or Kelley book values for the car. They can help you with pricing.
2. If you have the VIN number, check CarFax online first!
3. If you have a subscription to Consumer Reports online, they can give you specific vehicle info but you may find (without membership) information.
4. Last, but not least, go to cartalk.com and see their advice for haggling prices on used vehicles. I love CarTalk!!!
My advice is...
First things first, he needs to be completely honest. Myself, I have trouble with the "just kissed" scenario. I've heard this way too many times, and for some reason, because of guilt, I guess, men choose to say this. Somehow, I suppose it makes them feel better, although personally, whether or not they have sex is relative, it would feel all the same to me. Somehow, they rationalize what they done as "okay" because there wasn't sex. I, for one, do not believe sex was not involved. So, again, I'd ask him to be completely honestly, and until he does that, you have nothing to work with. Change comes with ownership and he cannot even "own" up to what he has truly done, then there will be no change and he will continue to believe in his own mind he was justified. I have just gone through this with my own brother. In over 30 years, he has cheated on his wife more times than I can count on 2 hands, and each time, he downplays he did anything wrong and actually blames her, "if she would have loved me more, gave me more attention" Well BS on that. I do believe people can change but they never will until they acknowledge that THEY did this..not you.. Who wants to live the rest of their life with a "loaded gun" to their head. Talk about pressure. Geez, if one day, you forget to say I love you or pat him on the back, you'll be looking over your shoulder to see if he is cheating. Once they break that trust, it's gone. Luckily, my sister-in-law got a second chance with a man who thinks she is gold. He respects her and does everything for her. My brother was selfish..it was always all about him.. So now..she made it about her.. and so should you if he doesn't want to step up. I would try counseling whatever I could to save it..but in the end, my heart tells me what the other poster said, "once a cheater always a cheater" and I know I could never trust again nor live that way with such disrespect and trust issues. Again, I'm so sorry for you..and sorry for such a long note. This hit a nerve after what I have been going through with my brother..
Thanks for the advice
I am doing Nutrisystem and doing pretty well on it; however, I still seem to be hungry at times. I was thinking maybe Hoodia, and maybe now Curvelle would help with this. I am drinking a lot of water and following Nutrisystem to the tee. I am losing about 2.5 to 3 pounds a week. It is just when I am hungry it is harder to be good - - if ya know what I mean.
take this advice!
My daughter who is now 10 was a HOLY TERROR. I tried time out, spanking, yelling, everything. none of that worked. So finally i decided i needed to hit her where it hurts so to speak. She loved playing with stuffed animals. She absolutely was addicted to them. She could not sleep without them all around here and she just loved them to death. So one day i told her that if she was going to scream and throw a fit, i was going to take a stuffed animal away each time she did it, starting with her least favorite first and they would go outside in the dumpster NEVER to be seen again. So she screamed and I took a stuffed animal and threw it outside in the dumpster where it stayed until the garbage man took it away. When i came in from the dumpster, she was having a FIT, throwing herself around and screaming and kicking. So i yelled loudly over her and said okay another one is going right now, so i picked up another and threw it out. I said to her as i was walking out to throw out the second one, if you continue to scream and kick i will keep throwing them out until you stop. Soon you will have NO stuffed animals. It is totally up to you! So when i came back in, she was QUIET!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then that night it was bedtime and she ALWAYS threw a fit at bedtime and got out of bed a million times and yelled and kicked. So i told her, if you cry, scream, kick or get out of bed at all i will take another stuffed animal out to the trash. So i tucked her in and shut the door and she threw her fit. She was testing me to see if i really meant it. Boy did I!!!!!!. I took another one and threw it right out. I came back in and told her that EVERY time i heard her out of bed, crying or doing anything but sleeping, i would throw out another one without even warning her. that was it. she NEVER gave me a fit at night again. Now she is 10 and still has her moments but she is a good girl and I dont have many problems with her.
|
