Thanks for being a caring person. Please don't change.-nm
Posted By: ginger on 2009-02-25
In Reply to: thank you for your opinions -- you're right - XanaX
xx
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You sound like a very caring and kind person
I'm definitely not going to flame you, but I'm wondering if you actually put stuff *inside* the mailbox because that is against the law. I would appreciate the thought, but I really wouldn't like someone going in my mailbox besides my mail carrier.
My neighbors across the street have the most beautiful lights. I just moved here from the sticks and it was SO cool to be able to look outside my window every night and look at their array. I don't see them because our schedules are different, so I thought about mailing them a thank you card. But it really would not be appropriate to just pop it in the box.
Anyhow, please don't take offense, but maybe some of the looks you are getting is the mailbox thing. I'm not assuming or anything, just wanted to give you a heads up.
I sincerely hope you feel better :-)
You are a caring, loving person. That has been obvious SM
from your posts for a long time to me. You are doing the right thing and staying on top of this. With your close eye and caring and with professionals on board I think your son has a bright future. Keep us informed. 
Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
I read a book once with the above title. I can't remember the author. He has done a lot of testing (and imaging) and says that often people actually have small amounts of brain damage they are not aware of that cause chronic behavioral issues.
He says that even little incidents of falling off a bike, etc. can cause damage that people aren't aware occurred.
I'm not saying this is your son's case, but I think you will have to keep investigating. Even with those who have damage, they are able to use meds to help the brain compensate for the affected area, which helps greatly.
I'm sorry you are going through this. It has to be awful for the whole family and hurtful to know your son is feeling in such a way to act that way.
I'm sure there is an answer somewhere. I hope you find it soon! - Please keep us posted.
Thank you for caring for that poor dog. sm
She must have been neglected for a long time.
With her coughing up mucus, she probably has pneumonia and needs antibiotics. She also needs dental work.
You might want to feed her some ground beef and rice. You should boil the beef, not fry it (no seasonings)and add it to cooked rice that has no seasonings. This is what my vet prescribed when one of my dogs was sick. It should be easy for her to eat this. But please get her to a vet ASAP.
She probably has some kind of allergy that is causing her to chew herself. Or she might be doing that because her teeth hurt her.
Thanks for caring so much and for passing that along! NM
thank you all for the advice and caring.....sm
I knew I was doing the right thing posting here. All of the MTs I have spoken to on this site have been really kind.
I found out about the cheating when the other woman's husband called our house last night, and my husband told me first thing this morning so that I could hear it from him instead of the other guy. I have since talked to the other husband and the wife says that my husband wanted it to go further, but she stopped it. I think she is just trying to save her a@@. The other husband read some e-mails to me that they had passed back and forth together, and it sounds to me like there was more going on. I also called my cell phone company today to get the past few months details on his phone so I can see just how much they were talking. My husband said they didn't really talk that often (the CSR checked through the records and found multiple calls on multiple days. She was very nice, helpful, and encouraging).
We have 2 small children (4½ and 2½ girls) and I feel like I owe it to them to try and find a way to work through this. He has agreed to counseling, but I don't know at this point how I want this all to turn out. I'm still just too numb, shocked, angry, etc. to have thought it out that far.
Thanks again for all of your advice and opinions. There is a lot to be learned from other peoples experiences. Just pray for strength for me to get through the holidays without having a nervous breakdown or a murder charge.
God bless you for caring sm
We have kept our dogs for up to 16-17, until it would have been inhumane to let them suffer, so I can feel your pain. I cried more over my dogs than I did for family as the first one was born right here in our home as well and we treat our animals as one of us. Unless one is an animal lover, others cannot understand why you could be so heartbroken. My husband took it hard as well and we were both so distraught it was worse than a human death. We had ignorant people say ignorant things such as, "it's only a dog," etc. Be comforted in knowing that those of us who love animals feel your pain. It will take a long time to get over. I could not walk past the pet food aisle without tears. The only answer to my pain was guess what? Another pet if possible. Bless you, we are here to talk. Those of us who love animals know what you've been through. You feel helpless, I'm sure, but you did your best.
Thank you for caring. It means a lot.
ss
Thank you all for caring. I have an appointment on
Thursday to see a Christian psychologist at a local church. I have been thinking of attending this church for some time, and when I have my appointment it might be a foot in the door so to speak. Thank you again for your kind words. My post was just another way of reaching out. When I get terribly depressed I tend to internalize everything and avoid people. I really need to sit down with someone and just unload. I think this is a step in the right direction.
Bless your heart for caring!
t
Anyone here caring for aging parents?
Whoof. This is so very hard. My mother is/was a brilliant educator, highly respected in her field.
We are walking a very thin line these days. I just hate it, and I do not use that word often.
We have found an assisted living facility that she likes, and I do as well. But, she is not liking the fact that she must decide. Oh, it is so very hard.
She was quite ill back in the summer, went to a nursing home for therapy (to recover from pneumonia), and then home. She is failing, and not going "gentle into that good night." She wants so very much to live on her own, but it is such a struggle. I am afraid for her, and I am so very tired.
Is anyone else living with this? If so, what do you do? I have read a thousand articles, talked with so many specialists, and still am lost.
I can't thank you all enough for your support, information, and caring..sm
You have really uplifted me a bit, and we will continue to search for answers and pray to do the right thing. She is so loved!! And God Bless each and every one of you, and your loved ones, for your kind notes and posts, SO APPRECIATED!!!
but short on compassion and caring.
x
The woman has children who are supposed to be caring for her
Interfering could lead to some seriously unpleasant unintended consequences.
I had that problem with a neighbor, only they weren't caring
constantly barking. I would put water out for the dog and sometimes feed the dog because it was being neglected. Finally, when no one was looking I had the dog come with me and I took it over to my moms house and found the dog a really loving home. My bad? I don't care, I knew the dog was being well taken care of. The lady I gave him too just doted on him and he was no longer neglected.
Even though a dog is being fed and given water doesn't mean it isn't being neglected. Animal neglect is a form of abuse. If you call anyone, don't call Animal Control. Call the Humane Society or some other entity who can take the animal so it won't end up being put to sleep. It's not the dogs fault that the owner neglects him.
confidence of not caring what other people who don't matter think
nm
Thanks to all for caring. I will use Resolve and update on this board SM
to let you know. It happened so quickly, and I guess that is what happens when you snack in the living room. I am used to sometimes putting my glass or bowl on the floor when I am finished eating. This time I paid a high price. I think it may at least take some of the stain out, and thank God it was one of my smaller pans. As Cat said, a throw rug is an option as well.
Have a great Thanksgiving! I am working, but will have the afternoon with my family.
Well it sounds good but a true caring
and giving person that gives from the heart and not merely to impress would also probably not have thrown a post like that in the middle of ones where people are obviously having great financial difficulties. LOL. Sometimes ya just gotta laugh.
Bless you all that are having money problems and I hope things get better for you soon. And, remember, this too shall pass.
You cannot change kids. Can only change the way
x
Are you a night person or a morning person?
Just curious . . .
It probably varies from person to person (sm)
With me, first child I was out of the bed seriously within 5 minutes of having him. I didn't tear or have to be cut, he was 7 pounds, 3 ounces. The doctor did some type of vaginal massage on me though while I was in labor and that was supposed to help loosen the vaginal wall?
Second child, same experience. She was 8 pounds, 1 ounce and within 5 minutes of having her, while they took her to the nursery to get cleaned up and all, I walked downstairs with my husband to the cafeteria to get a drink and stretch my legs. I had already put my regular clothes back on as well. My doctor who delivered her was walking in my room as I was walking in and he was stunned a second and said he thought I was a visitor, LOL, not the patient.
I don't think you have to have bed rest in normal cases. With my son I went home within 24 hours with him and with my daughter we went home in only 20 hours.
Well, if you are not going to change your
mind, then do not expect anyone else to change their mind about you either. You cannot call people judgmental and then be judgmental yourself. Or you can, but you just look ridiculous doing so.
And by the way, I went into this field so that I could be home with my kids. I also have held a job outside of the home for many years and had my kids home with me while I worked, but they were older where they could amuse themselves most of the time. They are in school now and I have them doing something part time during the summer, but the other times they are here with me. I work just fine like you do and I can hold a job outside of the home. I've done it before and I will be doing it again in a couple of years when I finish school. I've never made a post though about the things you mentioned.
So...your conclusions are flawed.
well then I think we should change the name
change
Honestly, the only possible way he could change is by telling him. But beware it will only change for a bit and go back to the way it was!
...just happens to you. You can change it.
x
Believe I would have to change my name.
Right off the bat, made me think of Pol Pot. If your not familier, Google him.
An attempt by Khmer Rouge leader Pol Pot to form a Communist peasant farming society resulted in the deaths of 25 percent of the country's population from starvation, overwork and executions. Responsible for 2,000,000 deaths of his own people.
Sorry did not mean to ruin anything, just made me stop and think.
Change
I remember the Riley Hospital incident, I just had forgotten that it was there at that hospital. I want to know WHY the vials are not brightly colored OPPOSITES? While not having seen one of these vials for a while, I assume they look they same as they always did. The company who makes these needs to take a look at its packaging and ACT ON IT. This is so hard to take. I can't stop thinking about it.
Men that hit do not change...
sure, they can go through anger management (sitting around with a bunch of other women beaters talking about how much their mate irritates them; hmm, wonder why they don't change), they will say they are sorry, it won't happen again, buy you nice things to appease you, go for periods of time not using you or your children for a punching bag, etc. You can see by many posts below that you need to get out now....you can either take that advice or not. Staying does not make you a hero or a martyr; you can't change him, won't change him and for the sake of your children, either send them somewhere safe and stay and be a doormat or take charge of the situation. As I said earlier, BTDT, twice as a matter of fact. It took me until age 40 (I'm 48 now) to realize that I wasted too much time on 2 men who were insecure, angry, lazy, and no good before I got out. My life began at 40 and yours can begin any time from this moment on. You have gotten some very good advice here today; use it and quit making excuses why you can't leave. It can be done.
I think this is all going to change now
that we're heading into a recession/depression. Shoe repair places are experiencing huge increases in business. People are replacing engines in cars instead of replacing the cars. Hard times aren't all bad. We have much to learn from the Greatest Generation that lived through hard times.
What would you change if you could
If there was a time machine and you could go back in time and change one thing that would affect the rest of your life what would it be. And if you were to go back where would you stop the machine. I was just watching the Time Machine the other night and that's what made me think about it.
My major decision I would change would have been to go to a different high school with different friends (that would have changed all my future decisions).
If I could go back I would stop the machine to the night before I started the 2nd grade. I'd love to do it all over again (minus the bad decisions). 2nd grade was the best time for me.
What would you change if you could
If there was a time machine and you could go back in time and change one thing that would affect the rest of your life what would it be. And if you were to go back where would you stop the machine. I was just watching the Time Machine the other night and that's what made me think about it.
My major decision I would change would have been to go to a different high school with different friends (that would have changed all my future decisions).
If I could go back I would stop the machine to the night before I started the 2nd grade. I'd love to do it all over again (minus the bad decisions). 2nd grade was the best time for me.
Exactly right! Nobody can change what is put down in a will,
only the testator can make changes (codicils) to it. When he is dead, nobody can, not the one who holds the POA, not the executor, not the lawyer, not the state, because there is the will!
All the named persons have only an administrative/executive power to make sure that that what is written in the will gets executed.
Get out now. Men don't change.
I stayed in for 22 years, and even though mine was a nice guy other than the unwise and selfish spending, it ruined everything. There were other issues too, but the money one alone will leave you feeling helpless and hopeless. Meds won't solve the problem. Getting out will.
Wow! what a change!
Good for her!
Oh yeah, sure. I think we'd all like to change a lot more
than welfare laws and regulations in many states, but it ain't gonna happen, sister. The laws are made for and benefitted by the poor and the rich only, not the in between. Middle class people get squat and are taken advantage of in every way. And I think we all pretty much fall into that category.
Some things never change...
I believe this is the very thing that Joseph was afraid of way back when. Judgement.. We can not judge until we know the full extent of the situation, even then we have to be careful with our conclusions.
No, you won't change me otherwise. I'm not judging
the Bible. God will judge in the end. I simply don't shop at stores that sell gay and lesbian items.
don't change a thing sm
I've been married 12 years and have had a very happy marriage. I too never understand what's to work at.
I also was just friends with my husband for 10 years before we started dating. Never knew he cared for me.
Count your blessings and give your husband a big kiss!!
And again, she cannot change his behavior, only hers
will not back down on that one. Lots of reason for divorce. Staying because of the children is an absolute wrong way to work at a marriage. She finds him disgusting, surely the children notice or they will when they age a little. I would not care if I had 10 children hanging onto my apron strings, would not want to stay somewhere that I am so unhappy I ask outsiders what they would do. My mother divorced in a time when no parents divorcing, believe it or not, and when I went to elementary school I was asked why no daddy. I turned out well, felt it had no adverse effect on me. Saw him, didn’t see him, ?? Really loved my stepmom though. He did do a good thing right in his life by bringing her into it.
sudden change
I won't say this is your case, but from my experience (and some of my acquaintances) a sudden change in behavior might mean there is someone on the side - of course if you are with him all the time that may not be the case. My ex, who had never bought his own clothes, suddenly bought a new outfit and his own cologne. Hope that's not your case, but keep your eyes open.
Do we really need to change the car oil every 3000?
//
everyone talkin' about change
how do you expect him to try to change something if he has no idea????
Alimony after sex change.
CLEARWATER, Fla. —
Lawrence Roach agreed to pay alimony to the woman he divorced, not the man she became after a sex change, his lawyers argued in an effort to end the payments.
But the ex-wife's attorneys argued Tuesday that the operation doesn't alter the agreement.
Roach and his wife, Julia, divorced in 2004 after 18 years of marriage. The 48-year-old utility worker agreed to pay her $1,250 a month in alimony. Since then, Julia Roach, 55, had a sex change and legally changed her name to Julio Roberto Silverwolf.
"It's illegal for a man to marry a man and it should likewise be illegal for a man to pay alimony to a man," said John McGuire, one of Roach's attorneys.
"When she changed to man, I believe she terminated that alimony."
Silverwolf did not appear in court Tuesday and has declined to talk about the divorce. His lawyer, Gregory Nevins, said the language of the divorce decree is clear and firm — Roach agreed to pay alimony until his ex-wife dies or remarries.
"Those two things haven't happened," said Nevins, a senior staff attorney with the national gay rights group Lambda Legal.
Arnold found fault with several of Roach's legal arguments and noted that appeals courts have declined to legally recognize a sex change in Florida when it comes to marriage. The appellate court "is telling us you are what you are when you are born," Arnold said.
Yes, your relationship will change sm
The first three months or so you will both be so tired you won't know how you can possibly make it, but you will. If you have family close by to help, that is great (I was an Air Force wife, so we were far from both our families). Hopefully, though, you will start to see your husband in a whole new light. I know I did. He had never had much use for children before, although I knew he loved animals, so that's always a good sign. He would spend hours playing with our cats, and he loved to sit and watch TV with one or both of the cats in his lap. To me, that showed a loving heart.
He had a lot of learning to do, but he became a wonderful father. Seeing that, I fell in love with him all over again. He became much more open emotionally, primarily with our son, but some of that spilled over into our relationship as well. And having a child together bonds a couple together like nothing else. Here is this wonderful being who is a part of BOTH of you, and who you both love like you never thought you could love another human being.
Sure, there will be difficulties. There will be times when he wants sex and you are so exhausted all you want to do is sleep for a week. There will be times when you are so focused on the baby you won't realize you are neglecting him. But if you are aware of all these possibilities, you are less likely to let the situation go on so long that it becomes a problem.
Good luck to you, whatever happens.
Change my activity? (sm)
The only thing I can think of that might have caused it would be 8-9 hours of transcribing every day. Unfortunately, I'll probably be typing my days ago for another 20-30 years (LOL).
You can never change the spots on a dog.
I'm sorry that you are going thru this, and I'm just bidding my time for the "father" of my oldest who is now 21, who hasn't called, visited, or supported him since he was 5, to start wanting something. What your ex is doing is basically called stalking. He gave up his paternity rights and now wants to be treated as a parent, give me a break. By law, he has no rights to be contacting you or you son, as he is legally not his father any longer. A parent is not the one "who makes you" but the one that is by you when you're sick, happy, sad, etc. etc. etc. My oldest one, even though I always offered the opportunity for him to have contact if he wanted to, doesn't care, want in any shape or form, to have any contact with his father either. For you ex to find your phone number or where you are living, either someone you know is giving him this information or if you have it listed in the phone book just by searching on the net is pretty easy to find anyone's number (always make your number private, unlisted, and if you can get unknown caller rejection even better, some phone companies give you this choice). Who knows what the heck is now wrong in his life that he wants to turn around and give you all this trouble. Those type of "men" (and I use the term loosely) never ever change. What does he want, for your son to tell him to go away directly to his face? Then, he would take that as a clear shot to keep trying to make your life miserable. You did the right thing by calling the police and even if you have to, get an injuction against him.
I think it sounds like you could use a change (sm)
Peace of mind, happiness, and health are worth their weight. If there is a pay cut and you can get by with that, this change might do you a world of good.
Seems like you know what the job entails with the kids by what you said in your original post.
To help you get the job, the only thing I can think of, besides your other qualifications, is getting a letter of recommendation from your children's teachers and other teachers you may have become familiar with in the school, the principal, etc. Or even letters of recommendations from people you may know in the community.
You know, you can always go back to MTing if it doesn't work out. Wishing you the best whatever you do! :-)
first day of new lifestyle change....Ugh!!! sm
No diet sodas, regular sodas, refined sugars, bad carbs.....I snuck in a little orange juice this morning. I'm reading and following "Body by God" and trying to eliminate most man-made foods (which are obvious) and replacing them with God-made foods which are the obvious, too (fruits, veggies, beans, lean meats, chicken, etc.). No cheese, either.
I didn't realize (well, I sorta did) how much I rely on my Diet Dr. Pepper EVERY morning. Yes, I'm grouchy. I'm drinking water this morning (yuck) - actually, I don't mind water, but I'm dying for my PEPPER!!!!
What's gotten me to this point? My hormones, thyroid, everything is getting out of balance due to obesity. yes, I admit it! This has been a struggle of mine for years. I cannot even tell you how many times I've failed trying to change my lifestyle. I have young children, too, and we went to like McDonald's and Burger King quite a bit.....That will have to stop too :(
It's not ALL bad, though. I do get one "vacation" day a week to eat pretty much whatever I want. Doc says that even 1 to 2 days of this Body by God will yield results. 3 to 4 days of Body by God will yield great results, and all 7 days of this regime will yield the BEST results for you and your body. I'm tired of the swelling. I'm tired of trying to cover up my belly fat. Hey, I'm just being brutally honest.
Is there a diet board? I need fill-in ideas for snacks that are healthy. I've never, ever eaten healthy before.....   = My emotions right now!~
He is selfish, that's why, and will not change! nm
/
don't you wish you can change things?
Yeah, I know how you feel. Been there, still there or here, whatever. Life is just a moment you know.
I don't mean to change the subject but
this statement "raised in all female household" - I am curious. My daughter's husband was raised by women and he's just the nicest devoted husband, really unique, and I wonder if there is something to this - Anybody else have a similar experience?
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