Thank you for your wonderful insight

I'm just sorry that it's coming from personal experience.  So much of what you say does sound like my son.  I have definitely zoomed in on the impulsivity of his actions.  I had brought that up to the child psychologist and he said that it's something to watch to see if he grows out of it.  I'm not expecting that to happen.  I manage the best I can and it's from day to day.  When we go places, sometimes its good and sometimes not.  It seems when we all go together, it doesn't go as well.  I'm guessing because he's not getting as much of the attention as he would like. 

I'm curious how you feel about the injury your son is doing to his siblings.  I feel so guilty and sorry for my son's actions towards my other children, but how do you deal with that?  I don't want him taken away from us or locked up, but yet I know I need to protect my other children.  He doesn't act out all the time.  In fact, this week is the worst he's been all summer. 

No alkies on either side of the family (thank heavens for small blessings).  Although, I do believe there is some bipolar or other type of mental illness on my side of the family (aunts, cousins).  I got some real kooks for relatives.  I've mentioned this to the child psychologist also, but he doesn't seem overly concerned about my son's actions.  He almost acts like it's something he will outgrow or something that can be changed through behavior modification.  I'm not that optimistic.  I personally think it's just my child's temperament.  He's always been difficult, even as an infant. 

Well, I can't deal with this anymore tonight.  I'm off to bed.  My son is having a sleepover at his great-grandma's tonight and I'm sure he'll be fine.  She says she "don't take his sh!t and he knows it"  I wish he felt that way about me.  At least I can count on a peaceful morning tomorrow!  Thanks again for letting me know I'm not the only one.  It helps more than you can imagine.

• He's fighting again today. - at the end of my rope
  • Your son has ADHD, probably combined type along with opposition defiant disorder in a nutshell...sm - One In The Same
    • Hmmm.... - he's still your son at 18...sm
      • I agree with you so much! sm - MeMT
    • I would agree with the ODD, but - at the end of my rope
      • While I agree that...sm - One In The Same
        • Thank you for your wonderful insight - at the end of my rope
    • P.S. Before anyone calls me a bad mother or blames me for any of his issues, my other two children - One In The Same
      • Are preparing for Harvard and Princeton - One In The Same
  • One of the worst punishments I remember - truffle
  • Another idea... - MTHubie
  • This may sound crazy and it's - just an idea here, but...
  • Change Your Brain, Change Your Life - Rhonda
  • Omega fatty acid supplements helped my son a lot (sm) - MeMT
  • your son see message - anon
    • I agree that will help also! nm - MeMT
  • foods - anon
  • I type this stuff all day long and I totally agree sm - deni

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I quit writing in my diary when the real stuff started happening.  I don't think my mom ever read my diary, but when I started dating, I quit writing.  I figured a paper trail probably wasn't a good idea.  I did, however, keep a box full of love letters that probably would have given a very accurate timeline of my romantic escapades.

As for your situation, it sounds like you know your daughter pretty well.  Just watch her mood swings, etc, for signs.  You'll know when -- my mom definitely knew.

I wonder if anybody has any insight into my son's behavior and performance in school.  His dad and I have talked until we are blue in the face and we have also left him alone and have given him space regarding his grades.  Neither causes any change.  He just keeps telling us he doesn't care about high school and that it does not matter.  He has no respect for the teachers (not many of them take teaching very seriously, in all honesty, so I can't much blame him for that) and he doesn't feel like he should try since they don't. 

This is a kid who scores in the 98 to 99th percentile on standardized testing.  He is SO smart, friendly, outgoing, quick-witted, and for the most part respectful.  He doesn't smoke or drink or do drugs.  He plays guitar in the praise band at church.  He is a good kid, but he just refuses to do his school work. 

This has been a struggle for the past 4 years of high school.  He is supposed to graduate in May, but the last 9 weeks report card came today and he got 2 F's, a D and a C. The 2 F's were gimme classes, believe it or not.  If he doesn't bring those up to average a passing grade he won't graduate.  It makes me sad, confused, frustrated beyond belief, worried, just to name a few emotions. 

He says he thinks he has ADD but I think he just WANTS to have it so he can have a pass, so to speak.  I think it could be some deeper problem, like our family dynamics, playing a role.  Does anybody have any ideas on how this boy can be inspired to rise to meet even the smallest challenge?

I wondered that too if all the houses gone up that much.  I know they did some remodeling since they bought it 5 years ago but we have done some remodeling in this house too (same kind of remodeling)  but I won't dare think it would sell for 66% above what we originally paided for it. 

Than again, I would have to get an expert to come through here and tell me what they think it might sell for.  I have not a clue. 

My gut feeling  tells me that they need to come down.  I saw the new house they were moving too.  It is a huge, two story, maybe $300K home.   DH and I think they have jacked up the price on this other home in order to help pay for the one they are in now.

 Then other things would have to factor in like property taxes, cost of utilities which I know all that would be more than what we are paying now for this little house we are in now. "sigh"  Oh well, maybe one day we will have something bigger. 

I have not had a man in my life for the past 3.5 years.  I have tried dating and get asked out all the time, but just no interest in the ones doing the asking I guess.  I have a very comfortable life and truly am in no need for a man to take care of me.  However, I have known this one particular man for over a year and just very recently our friendship seems to be heading to a different level and for the first time I am very attracted to him.  So, the other day he e-mailed me and both of us came clean on our feelings.  The problem is that he has had his present girlfriend for the past 7 years...they do not live together and really spend little time together, as their lives are significantly different and when asked why he simply states "it just isn't working out and that he could make more time to see her, but he doesn't"

Okay, so now I know I am going to get flamed, but where do you think it goes from here?  Both him and I have a seminar to attend with another man in 2 weeks and will also be staying at the same hotel,  etc. and I am just so confused as to how I go about keeping my distance but still wanting him.  What to do, what to do......this has been on my mind all day and so has he and I am so not use to these feelings at all....like high school all over again.

I forget the man's name right off the top of my head, but he has a book about this; ironically enough you can "charge it on your card" to purchase!  So, kind of funny there!  I checked out the book at the library instead, figured out what to do, and still have not gotten around to it.  I need to get it all down on paper, and I've asked for $200.00 a month extra from hubs for what he gives me towards bills (he pays our entire mortgage) and I tend to to take care of the rest.  However, he does put his own gas in the car and treats us for different odds and ends, fast food, movie night, day at the beach, you get the picture... 

The only problem I see with this is the way I get paid.  I am an IC.  I only have one online company that truly pays me on time.  My other accounts I bill every other week but they don't always pay right away (could be a week lag sometimes) and another I only get once a month.  Also, the work fluctuates.  So, I may make $1.400.00 a month with one account but if the docs go on vacation, that can bring it down to say $600.00 a month. 

So while your plan, I agree, is wonderful and yes it does work, and yes I'm going to give it a try, doesn't always pan out "budget wise" income wise for me personally being an IC and having fluctuating work.  I might add the online company I range anywhere from 14,000 to 20,000 lines a month given the work is there, I work from a pool; no line quotas, and no set schedule.  So, I need to be on my toes to grab the work.  I do have a lot of accounts to choose from, but when I go out twice a week to pick-up work, I am away from the computer, hence losing some of those jobs I could have grabbed.  I check all day long until 11 p.m. to make sure I take all that I can. 

Sorry this is so long, but I think that's where I am so "floundering" on this "budget" thing where I am never sure if I'll have "my end of the budget" every month.  I don't have a set income, but I would not trade this profession for anything; been doing it 20 years, and love it and love being at home with the kids (school age), but still...

Not only to your husband, but also to your daughter for being able to express those feelings to him, and to you for having raised such a loving daughter.

I'm tearing up myself here....