Thank you for your kindness and encouragement.
Posted By: notmyrealname on 2009-05-06
In Reply to: Don't do it and don't worry about it. sm - Ella (retired)
I really have no worry that I would act on this. I just don't get any girl time with my friends to talk about these kind of things heart to heart. I was trying to be honest and acknowledge the weirdness of it and I was looking for someone who could say yes, they know what I am talking about, and maybe share their own experience.
Thanks again, you are a sweet lady. 
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Thanks for your encouragement (sm)
Two kids - my family lives 500 miles away and is not in a position to really help. I know there are a lot of rules about not moving your children out of the state. I am not sure about friends I could stay with, would have to think about that one. I think I won't mention my state on here just in case anyone I know is reading and wondering if this is me :-)
I love your last sentence about getting myself and my children to the other side :-)
Not the OP, but thanks for the encouragement.
I'm going through it too.
How much encouragement?
The both of you constantly look for encouragement. Haven't you gotten enough? You expect people to say what they think and then you get mad about it. Well go figure it out then and leave the rest of us alone! The both of you just about break when someone says something you think is mean. You both show signs of being beaten down and unable to handle criticism objectively. No one was being mean to you!
Thanks Misha for the website and the words of encouragement!
.
Hoping for some words of encouragement on 16 YO daughter. sm
Hello everyone. The saga continues. We have had her grounded since Friday and I saw her Psy.D. yesterday who gave me some advice. She said the best thing to do is to try to be nice and try to work with her in a positive manner, but in small steps. She said that if she decides to leave, there's nothing we can do about it, which I already knew. She said to voice that to her and let her be the one to make that decision, but supposedly that would take the power away from her. She also said that it was useless to try to keep her away from her friends, as she would do whatever it took to be with them. So I came home and told her that I loved her, did not want her to go, but the ultimate decision was hers. I gave her the cell phone back and told her that for her to be able to keep it, she needed to be civil so we can keep a civil atmosphere in the home and no more call me names and cursing at me. She agreed. That was yesterday. I told her that we would take things slow and she would have to earn back her privileges. Well, that's just not good enough for her. She wants it all right away, her way and when she wants. Wants to go out as many nights as she chooses and since it is summertime it is not fair that we don't let her go out. Unbelievable. I told her that we were unwilling to do that and the grounding stood through to the end. After that we would see how it went and start with one night out a week. She can't seem to grasp the concept that at 16 she cannot make these decisions.
Bottom line, I think it will be inevitible that she will at some point leave. I made her an appointment to see this Psy.D. on Friday, but we'll see if I can keep her here long enough for that and whether she will be willing to go.
I am at my wits end. The counselor said I needed to be patient and to continue to be nice. I think that would be easy to do if I saw that my daughter was willing to do her part, which she is obviously not keen on. I almost feel like I am wasting my time and I am so discouraged by her lack of wanting to participate in this.
I guess I have to prepare myself for the worst. This is so hard.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for your kindness. (hug back!)
Just having a pity party for myself today. It's just one of those days, I guess. :(
Thank you so much for your kindness. It's just what I needed sm
right now. I've never been one to have the "victim mentality" although I can see how my post probably came off that way. They never gave me a chance from the start so you hit it right on when you called it a tribe mentality. I think a lot of it is jealousy - as my mom points out - I had that a lot growing up because I tend to get along with everyone - not a jealous bone in my body - and I can tend to irritate those who "don't like everyone" or who have sour attitudes.
When the poster said that she found it hard to believe that all 3 hate me for NO REASON I didn't want to respond because they do hate me for no reason. If you were to ask them why they don't like me or want me around their answer is, "just because I don't."
Anyways, your post was very kind and I am thankful for it. God bless you!
Thank you for your kindness and understanding. I SM
will make a call in the next few days to find some help. I don't usually think of myself, but this has been so terribly difficult.
This is when I love this board. The kindness and
understanding in a situation like this is so valuable. I always try to do the right thing, take care of my family, be polite, be a good driver, etc. I was struggling for a minute about right and wrong, but they come up to you without notice and it is all over so quickly. They catch you off guard and that is their plan.
In case anyone is wondering, God truly did save my life with the other incident I mentioned that happened years ago. I was forced into my car and was told to hand the keys over. He told me he was going to drive and to shut up. I knew I was helpless and called on God out loud in the car. I prayed my heart out, and all of a sudden his demeanor changed. He went from being demanding and in control to being nervous and shaking.
I slowly reached for the door handle without making a sound and he got out of the car and we talked over the roof of my car for a few minutes. Later I identified him at the police department from pictures and he was wearing a hospital gown in the picture. He was just discharged the day he forced me into his car from the psychiatric unit from our local hospital. That night after our encounter he literally rushed back to the hospital and begged them to readmit him because he was going to steal my car and rape me. I asked the police officer if he was going to kill me, and the officer just looked at the floor in silence.
God is good, and so are all of you for caring. To this day my family walks with me to my car when leaving their homes. I cannot do it alone at night anymore. Every time I come home and it is dark I feel someone behind me and there is no one there. You are never, ever the same after you experience something like that.
As far as yesterday, I do believe there was an angel present; just one I could not see.
Thank you for your kindness - i did find a few things on competition sites sm
but they were all pretty boring, lol. we are going to do like you suggested and rent some of those movies this weekend to get that frame of mind going. i coached her little league cheer group and we won first place at competition so she is kinda counting on me for help, but i am brain froze on cheerleading, LOL!
So what you are saying is we've reached our limit? That we don't deserve any more kindness?
That's how you operate in life? You just deem people unworthy of your time, your kindness?
You know, curious girl, isn't asking you for money or a place to live or anything except for a few kind words on a freaking screen!!! How difficult is that?!!?!?! You act like she's knocking on your blasted door and begging you to help her. She's not asking you to do anything but LISTEN!!
My God! You people are incredibly callus. I feel sorry for you.
Yes, God bless Fred, and God Bless you in your kindness and love...sm
We had to put two of our pets, to gorgeous cats that had been our babies for 16+ years, in much the same story, they had gotten to the point where they were suffering and would suffer more. Horrible, heartbreaking decision, hurts like heck, but I do believe there have to be darling pets in Heaven, I cannot imagine how it would be heaven without them, they are so precious and give us so much love and happiness! So sorry for your loss!
Some Random Acts of Kindness (chosen at random)
I'm bringing the Random Acts of Kindness thread back up to the top. Anyone want to join me in committing to do one of these week? More ideas can be found by googling Random Acts of Kindness.
Bake cookies for a neighbor or teacher, just because.
Help an elderly person with yard work or grocery shopping. Many elderly people have a story or two to tell about their own baby that died many years ago.
Visit a nursing home and bring cupcakes. Sit and visit with a few of the residents. You'd be amazed at the loving reception you will receive as many residents rarely receive visitors.
Donate to your favorite nonprofit group on your child's birthday.
Volunteer your time at a local homeless shelter or a crisis nursery.
Donate some grief books to the library or a local support group.
Leave an extra large tip for your food server!
Buy the meal for the person behind you at the fast food drive through.
Leave a bouquet of flowers on someone’s front door step.
Bake goodies and take them to the police station, fire station, or hospital.
Pay a local teen to mow an elderly neighbor’s yard.
Crochet a baby’s blanket and take it to the hospital nursery. Premature babies can always use tiny booties and caps.
Buy a balloon bouquet and ask the nurses the children’s hospital to deliver them to a child.
|
