Thank you for all the responses. I will follow your advice. nm
Posted By: trose on 2007-06-15
In Reply to: I always shut mine down - countrymt
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Great post, I am going to follow your advice
It says everything that should be said. I in no way feel just because family should accept, in that were the case every family member could just stop in and that would be feeding an army. I dislike the bad manners to start with; never should you say you are coming to a dinner not having been invited in the first place. To be truthful, feel like uninviting the others he volunteered to drive here- if not for them he would have never known about the dinner in the first place. They told him at a Thanksgiving dinner they had (we were invited, working though, did not attend) and I really resent their saying anything about in in front of other family members who I did not invite this year. We usually have a group of 10 only here at my home, the same each and every year. Others are out of town. Thanks for the wonderful suggestions! I shall follow through.
Need advice on a good, adjustable chair for typing. Any advice? nm
nm
Follow up to the above
Parvo causes the mucus, blood and also weight loss that you are describing. Once I found out what was in my yard, it seemed like it never went away. Years later I had forgotten and hubs brought home another puppy and put in the backyard. The same thing happened. If not treated in a yard, seems like it just stays on. Older dogs seem not to have problem because I guess their immunity built up. I hope you get to a veterinarian as soon as possible because it does kill if not treated.
I can't follow this for the
Follow up
I guess my first question would be, who made the decision to have the sleepover? Obviously you allowed your son to have the boy over -- did you talk to the mother about the arrangements? What if something had happened, i.e., a medical condition and you needed to contact the parents? Sounds to me like you were "duped into being a free babysitter for that kid" (and not sure if they had others who might have been farmed out) but the parents were totally irresponsible, but you have to take part of the blame as well for not checking into things more thorougly -- I think that if the parents had not answered a home line or a cell line and NOT called back within a hour or 2 I would have been on the phone to the authorities -- when are parents going to learn that these are innocent, sweet, children and something like this can leave emotional scars for a very long time
You have to follow your instincts and
A therapist ideally really should be able to adjust their style to the needs of the client. In the end, what matters is are you making progress? ... is she helping you address the issues you came to her with in a way that is meaningful to you? ... and is she challenging you emotionally? It reminds me of the movie, Girl Interrupted, where Angelina Jolie's character is lamenting that nobody cared enough to push her buttons. It's one thing to be a friend who is supportive and accepting of one as they already are. It's another to not care enough to "push the right buttons" to help someone challenge their shortcomings.
It sounds like you have examined this relationship and find it lacking. There is no shame in telling someone, even a therapist, that you are not getting out the relationship as much as you are putting into it (in this instance, a lot of money). At least you can say learning to trust your instincts is one thing you did get out of the relationship.
Follow up on this cat stuff
I just got back from the store and bought some hairball control dry cat food. The older cat I spoke about drinks water so no problem there. I got the dry as well as several cans of wet hairball control so probably will mix a little of the wet with dry to start out with. I also bought glove to run over the cat and get rid of some of the excessive fur. This is not a common shedding as she has had for sometime, surprised she has any left. I have hairball gel that I could give them in addition to this. Thanks for the insight!
Follow your instincts
I had this happen years ago with my brother. I tried to make him realize I didn't do what he thought, but he wouldn't budge. I chalk it up as a lesson learned in life, you can't make another person think or believe anything they don't want to. If I dwell on it, it still burns me up, so I try to leave it behind. Anyway, trust your instincts, they will never let you down.
mammogram-follow up
I was diagnosed and beat breast cancer after a very caring radiologist kept taking additional views. I go back next month for my first mammogram, kind of scared, but I'm stronger now, so off I will go. That was an excellent post. I wish more people would get checked and be faithful with following. Have a wonderful day.
It may not but people who follow it will
We are not intimidated by the Bible. We are just sick of the people who think they are more rightous than others becase they wear their religion on their sleeves while they cram down our throats that they are better than us. If it gives a man comfort, then he will receive the same comfort if that bible is in his posession but not for all the world to see. How can you be sick of Christians always being in the wrong when they are given more rights than people of other faiths. If you want to talk about people being wronged out of their religion being able to be openly observed you should consider what the Wiccans have to go through. And for pitty's sake I'm sick of hearing how we are taking "Him" out of everything. Your not the first to say it, I've heard it before and its absolutely untrue.
I definitely did not follow the crowd - sm
I was basically a "good" girl though, though had a secret side only my friends knew about. Had my own sense of style totally different than everyone else, I looked pretty good then, (early 80s, graduated in 1983), lots of purple and feathers. Was mainly an A student, Art teacher's pet, principal's pet, in marching band (baton twirler), starting at 15 drank beer when I could (rarely), at 16 smoked pot a couple times a month, more when I was senior but not much more, never bought it myself - had 3 BFs, we all drank/smoked pot, though one did it much more than the rest of us, she was a straight A student too. Was never an "addict" and never tried anything stronger than pot, saw the damage the harder drugs did on others and had no desire to screw myself up or fry my brain, did NOT have sex in HS though 2 of my friends did starting at 15- both were drunk their first time, had enough drama with them to not want to do that until I was ready and sure I'd use birth control. I had a good time, parent's never knew of the things I had been up to, was very good at keeping it all under wraps.
Very smart. We should all follow, but for some reason, it's almost sm
entertainment for some. Isn't that sad?? We find "entertainment" in someone else's grief and sorrow. What else do you call it? I hardly ever watch t.v. In fact, I didn't find out about the shootings until 3:30 when I read that 30+ people were dead! I was shocked!
The media wouldn't give it to us if we didn't show intense interest in it. It seems the more drama it is, the higher the ratings. So, so sad.
Like I said, I read about the accounts on-line at People.com where they never have any news on there - just celebrity gossip. I know, it's not much better, but it's hardly ever death, shootings, earthquakes, terrorism, kidnapping, and the like. I can't handle that kind of stuff.
Follow up on cat gorging and throwing up
Posted a few days ago, had Ms. Thang to the veterinarian's office today and he thought possibly hyperthyroidism because of extremely fast heartbeat, hair loss, the 3 pounds weight loss since the end of last year- labs done and sure nuff, hyperthyroidism. Vicious cycle of the gorging, throwing up, seemingly never getting enough to eat- hopefully now with medication can get this under control.
Go to their web site and follow their procedure - sm
they have it all there how to report problems, etc.
Follow the part that has the brains. : ) nm
x
That's horrible. OP--Don't follow this poster's example.
A letter like this is probably the most inappropriate way to have dealt with the situation other than beating the kids up yourself. I'm going to assume this letter was also sent anonymously. Awful, awful, awful.
This thread is a little confusing to follow so I will just
throw my experience out there and see if it works. I was in my 30s when I started having problems with dryness. My husband thought it was because I didn't want him, and I kind of felt weird about it, but it really was just physical - I am not sure what caused it. Finally, he expressed to me that the sex was not as good anymore - I agreed - so I tried using artificial lubricants. The sex was so much better and there was not so much unspoken baggage about the whole thing.
We have been married for 20 years, gone through an almost divorce, and raised 2 kids, so I am not sure why that was such a hard issue to talk about. Like others said, sometimes the sex is hot and you want bunches, sometimes its the furthest thing from your mind, but ultimately just talking about the problem worked for us.
Follow up on money transferring
Went into the bank this morning, talked with someone yesterday and the only way to set it up on line is thru transfer instead of bill pay. I also use bill pay but this would be between 2 bank centers. Noticed below where someone said wire transfers cost $$ but with transferring this way it is $3.00 per transfer.
Again, I follow what the Bible says, that homosexuality is sinful &
support homosexuality by selling items of that nature is not where I will be shopping. You can try to twist this around every way possible, but I am not judging anyone. God will do that. No, I do not associate with gay people, but that does not mean that I would not be pleasant to someone who is. I don't agree with the gay lifestyle, I don't shop at stores that sell homosexual items, and you can make me out to be the bad guy all you want. I believe in what I believe.
I'm probably older than you and I DO follow rules of etiquette,
s
less is best....fewer words. If you need to say Hi, do not follow it with how are you, if she asks
nm
Ok, here's the link - unbelievable that people would follow this man!!!
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/index.php?cl=7455894
you will have to cut and paste - sorry - I don't know how to link it
If enough boys show up, the girls will follow...sm
but if he is still worried about her screwing it up for him, maybe there is a game or some other event he and some friends can be taken to? This was discussed here a long time ago, but when I was a kid, my dad took some of my friends and me to a Phillies game for my B-day. It still makes me smile after all these years.
Follow the burned kitten's health updates
of those two evil teenage girls at:
http://www.forgottenfelines.com/v4/adam.shtml
You can also find news and archived articles at the "Press Democrat" newspaper website. Looks like the kitty may recover, but his bills could reach $30,000 before he's well again. 
Sorry you couldn't follow me. I have work to finish up. Have a nice day. nm
x
It's not the worker's fault. She has to follow the rules or be fired. sm
I've taken a lot of flack from a lot of customers, and the run-of-the-mill retail worker really has no freedom to make decisions. When the worker is caught between a yelling customer and a yelling manager, who do you think she'll listen to?
Yes, but keep in mind ks that Christian's follow EVERY word of the Holy Bible
g
Thanks for both responses!! sm
And I think one of you emailed me with the explanation (thank you for that email), and I so appreciated both posts too. Thanks again! Happy New Year too!!
Thanks for the responses...
Thank you all for your responses. I have to say that I'm a little shocked by some of the comments, but I I didn't post everything.
I didn't actually prevent my child from talking to her. My daughter answered and handed it to my son, and then he proceeded to answer all of her questions about where we were going and what we were doing and what I got him for his birthday.
I didn't put them in the middle or tell them how I felt about it. I felt like she overstepped her boundaries, but I decided to post my feelings about it on a public message board rather than say anything in front on them. I decided I would get some unbiased opinions here before I said anything to anyone. The last thing I want is to put them in the middle or hurt them.
I've decided that I'm going to e-mail my ex and ask him not to give my phone number to other people without my permission and leave it at that.
I do feel that I haven't been a vindictive or jealous ex spouse. #1 entered the picture right as we were separating, and my kids were really, really angry about it. My kids saw us as still married and just fighting, so they did not want anything to do with #1. In fact, they planned this Parent Trap type sabatoge. I caught them packing worms and slugs in a jar, Ex-Lax, and bubble bath that they were planning to put in her shampoo bottle. I sat them down and told them that they were under no circumstances to sabatoge #1. I told them that they were to treat her with respect even if they didn't like her, just as they would treat a teacher that they didn't like. I also told them that she was not the cause of our divorce, and that they didn't have to hate her. She was around for a while, and the last few times the kids came back saying, "She says all the same stuff to dad that you do, but she screams it at him." Then she disappeared. Despite the fact that they didn't like her, they still had a hard time with her disappearing without a formal goodbye.
#2 and #3 were just one-weekend things. My daughter was actually devastated because #2 had a daughter that was her age. She was excited to go back and play with the daughter and was already telling people that she was going to have this really cool step-sister, but by the next visit he was already on to #3.
There were 2 more that he dated that I was aware of, but neither wanted to meet the kids, so the kids don't know about them.
Now we are on to #4. I'm upset that his family has stopped calling and sending cards and gifts, and #4 seems to be the replacement. The second time they met her, he flew the kids to her house for Christmas, and there was no contact whatsoever with his family, although they sent gift cards to my home for the kids. Now my son's birthday came, and his family ignored it, but girlfriend is calling.
My kids always describe going to dad's house like getting on a roller coaster, and coming home as getting off the ride. So, when she called, I guess I felt like she was encroaching upon my kids' drama-free zone.
Wow! Thanks for all the responses!
Very helpful. I have ordered the BioSpot since it seems to have the same ingredients as Frontline and is much less expensive. That's interesting about Advantage losing its effectiveness. Years ago, it worked great on my cats.
Thanks for the responses!...
But I still think I want to do it. I actually did this when I was 12 from a neighborhood mom and it took a lot of the bigness out of my hair. I usually cut my own hair but have wanted to do this for so long. It's past my shoulders and want to cut it to my necklace line with a style I saw on a hair site. I researched this at hairboutique.com and found tons of information on straightening so feel a little more informed. Thanks for responding, though! I was beginning to think everyone on the board had gorgeous straight hair! :-) I'll let you know how it goes!
Thanks!
Thanks for all the responses.
I'm soon headed to the fragrance counter to do some sniffing! 
thanks for your responses,
it brought up some good points . . .
I want to thank you all for your responses (sm)
I really appreciate you all for coming to my aid. I just finished a 13 hour day and am going to walk away from this machine until 8:00 a.m. and try not to think about work. I actually managed to get a good amount of sleep last night and I did feel somewhat better today. I can still feel it in the background but it is manageable. Like most of us, I know I work too much and I am trying to find a way to cut down. Thank you all again. I truly appreciate all your responses.
Thanks everyone for your responses (sm)
It was the fact that he told me this at night, while his sister was sleeping, not something he said to her in the heat of anger, that worried me. He tends to be a perfectionist and have a very negative attitude and is very critical of himself and everyone else. It is for his benefit as well as his sister's that I need to figure out what to do about it. His friends are dwindling because of his negativity, while hers are soaring. Yet, it hurts her too, because she has to be constantly bombarded with criticism on a daily basis. I stay on top of him about it, but every day it's the same. It's so confusing because they are both raised by the same parents in the same household and I really try to be fair and give both of them equal time, etc. I will say that his sister is more demanding and he probably does crave more of my time. Their dad works so much they never even ask any more if he is coming home for dinner or not - if he shows up fine, if not, fine, nobody even asks. My daughter has friends over a lot and my son doesn't have as many over, but part of that is because he is such a perfectionist that many children he doesn't like. I will suggest one child after another to invite to come play and he will say "no, I don't like him". We are down to about two that he likes and if they aren't available, he just sulks and pouts. I don't know how I am going to get the message across to him. I have tried everything I can think of. That's why I am considering a counsellor for him.
I appreciate all of your responses
but it seems a lot are assuming that the story came from a child. I was more looking for responses based on the assumption that the scenario described is fact . . . assuming the teacher has already "confessed" and provided an unsatisfactory (to us) explanation.
Thanks again for all replies!
Thank you for you responses. Sorry it said nm
instead of my name. I am going to talk to some of his friends I think. One of our nieces is one of his closet friends. I don't want to make them feel like they are betraying him in anyway, but I had posted on here just a few weeks ago about one of his classmates died from playing the "choking game" and I know how it affected so many of his friends. I think they will be open with me. BTW, he says that what was on his page he copied and pasted from another site. Still no explaination. I also just talked to my "other" mother and she really thinks a he needs a counselor. She gave me the name of a very good one that is a Christian I will call as soon as I post this. She agrees that obviously he isn't going to talk to us so he needs to have that privacy with someone else.
I almost hate to ask this, but does anyone feel like there is a connection between depression and accutane? He just finished taking 6 months of it at the end of Feb. I don't know how long the post was on his site. It could have been there between a couple of days or a couple of weeks.
Thanks for the responses to
I'm so sorry for your situations and you have helped me tremendously to put my situation into perspective. It is not nearly as bad as I had first taken, compared to your stories, but none the less still hurtful/inappropriate and if things continue to escalate (which seems to be the trend over the past several years) I feel more confident to stand up for myself and the future of my family. For now, I think distance is the key..if I can pull it off. Thanks for sharing everyone!
THANK YOU for all of your responses.sm
I will definitely be talking to her today about my feelings of having my daughter on the 4 wheeler and how dangerous it can be. I know she would never intentionally hurt my daughter, but it's just not a good idea to have her on one at such a young age. I will have to choose my words very carefully with her, but I think I will be able to get my point across. I would hate to keep her from spending time with my daughter, but if she continues to put her in danger, then I guess I will have to be there at all times. Thank you all for giving me the confidence I will need to do this! :)
Thanks for the responses!
nm
TY everyone for your responses.
Since we'll all be doing this again in a few weeks for Xmas - I now know what to do !
Thanks for all the responses! sm
They are not financially strapped, just too lazy to cook a big meal. I love the idea of telling them I am having another dinner the next night and cannot spare any leftovers, but they are welcome to take home the remnants of the 2 pies they brought over.  Love it! This will be a new holiday tradition at my house!
thank you everyone for responses.
looks like there is really not that much in PO. I am currently in Nebraska. No snow yet, but super super super cold. Wish I were in Mississippi or Washington!!!
Thanks for all the responses!
I feel normal! Yay!!! Most of the time I do wear nice PJs. My husband doesn't care what my "work clothes" look like. Yes we have that joke too. lol He actually says he loves to come home and see me in my PJs. I do take a shower every day after my 4 hour morning shift but I don't wear makeup or do my hair. Maybe blow-dry when its cold but my hair is pretty easy anyway so I never do much with it unless we have a formal event to go to. If I know I will be running to the store or something I get dressed and put makeup on but change back to PJs asap. It's just so much more comfortable.
Thank you for your responses
for those of you who replied. I really hope this mother doesn't come to regret her actions.
Thanks for the sweet responses!
Off to get tights and slippers, I guess:-)
Thank you all for your responses. I did Google this sm
and didn't find too much. I did find some support on holistic sites, though, about Hartz products and other people saying their dogs have become sick on other once-a-month flea meds. It might be too early for people to make the connection.
Thank you all for your responses. Healthy pets for all!
My response to your responses, etc.
First of all I am glad so many of you used this board to share your feelings on this issue of hating cats. I have read each one of your posts a few times over and agree wholeheartedly. I have also felt that this issue goes a lot deeper than not liking something with 4 legs and a tail that meows. That is why I brought it up. It is frustrating to say the least and something I could never understand.
Some of the people I have come in contact with who make these remarks will also out of the other side of his or her mouth proudly state how they love animals, just not cats. The last time I checked a cat was an animal. I can certainly understand having favorites, we all do. What I don't understand is selective animal loving.
One of you posted that you feel these people are missing something. That really hit home with me and actually brought me to tears. I have missed so much in my life having no children, etc. I used to get angry over circumstances I could not control and actually felt I was being punished in some way. All around me are people with what seems to me to be everything. One thing God made sure I had all my life is the ability to love and receive it 100 times over from animals. It has literally been life saving for me. There is a history of abuse in my past, and this is one love I am not afraid of.
The post that spoke of cats being looked at as evil, the black cat at Halloween hit home, too. That post opened my eyes to a lot of things. My friend I spoke of who went shopping with me and shouted all day long about hating cats said that her mother doesn't like them either. It really does seem to be an attitude that in many cases has been passed down to the next generation. My mother, 90 years of age now, has always and will always have a spot in her heart for cats. She loves them dearly, but because she has dogs who don't tolerate cats she does not adopt cats. My grandmother as well loved them.
I guess when I see a cat I see an animal with elegance and beauty, an individual little soul that walks and cannot be heard or peeks between the railing of my niece's stairway and then very gingerly comes downstairs to sit by the front door. No one can expect everyone to love them, but the one post that said hate is such a strong word says it all. One post said how cats kill birds, etc. I don't like that either, but it is instinct. My friend had an English Springer Spaniel some years ago and called me crying, saying her dog was a MURDERER! She said she looked out the kitchen window and saw Daisy shaking a little rabbit. The rabbit died and Daisy went on her way. It is animal instinct, and nature can be very cruel sometimes. My mom sat at the living room window 4 years ago and saw a snake come over the roof to get at a bird nest we had been watching. We were anxiously awaiting the flight of the babies. It never happened.
Some don't like cats rubbing up against their legs, etc. I guess I could never hate anyone or anything that was just expressing love to me. I value what some others hate, and that's part of life too. I am not preaching, just letting some feelings out and learning a lot at the same time.
In my local shelter just a few miles from my apartment by last count about 5 weeks ago there were 500 cats waiting for adoption, and yet down the road from where my mother used to live year after year appears a sign in the front yard a few times a year . . Free Kittens. Like me, so many live in apartments, etc. that do not even allow pets.
Thanks again for letting me open up and let it out. It has helped, and hearing your comments has helped to understand a little better. I have a few little stickers on my dashboard that says it all. It is from the ASPCA. It reads very simply
We Are Their Voice.
God bless you and God bless all animals.
Thanks to all the responses. This is a #2 problem she did.
conflicting treatments - go figure! Well, I think she will do fine. I have put a temporary litter box where she "went" and filled her regular litter box with fresh litter. She only did this once, but I was afraid it would be a regular thing. She is almost a year old and we cannot keep her in. She loves it outside.
Thanks for all of the nice responses!
I have really no major medical problems with diabetes or hypertension. I am lucky in that sense. I just feel like I got started off on the wrong foot by being so heavy. I feel like I am doing something cruel to my baby. I have major issues with my weight and it is so hard right now, especially being pregnant. I guess I just need to try to work on it but it has been like this for years and I just don't see how I am going to change it overnight. But I really do appreciate all of the responses and I will keep everyone updated! Thank you all! It has meant a lot to me!
Thank you for all your responses and words...
...of encouragement! I've always been strong and considered myself to be a 2-legged workhorse, often out lastingmore limber 'kids' and even men when it comes to doing heavy-duty tasks, so to be completely worn out after only a few minutes of mildly strenuous activity is a major bummer to say the least.
When I say 'crippled up' I guess I mean more stiff and sore than physically crippled wtih limbs and joints I can't straighten out. However, the pain is so bad I can't even get out of bed without almost falling down and the snap, crackle, and pop when I move around first thing in the morning can even be heard by my husband.
I do sleep like a log though...nothing wakes me up...I'm down at 10 p.m. and up at 7--and only because I have to pee, otherwise I'm sure I'd sleep until almost noon. I used to only need 6-7 hours of sleep a night and was a morning person...the annoying kind who could jump out of bed, get dressed, and have chores done, house cleaned, and all ready to sit down to work by 7 a.m...now I absolutely dread getting out of bed because it means I'm gonna be a hurtin' unit all day.
I've been tested for Lyme and that was negative. The other blood test did have letters...I'm thinking it was that ANA thing but not 100% sure.
The only thing I've taken for pain relief is Tylenol or naproxen but neither work really well and that naproxen just eats my gut away. This early winter certainly isn't helping and I've been dreaming by visiting Realtor.com of finding some place else that's not as artic.
Oye. Time will tell. I have another appt this Friday so we'll see what happens then. Thanks a bunch for listening and offering me advice and well wishes. They are all appreciated like you have no idea!!!
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