Thank you also for your views and insights nm
Posted By: MTmom on 2009-04-13
In Reply to: 12 year old boys............sm - m
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People bring of valuable insights, but...sm
I can't say that we could ever afford to have a child, let alone 6, but we did. Most of their childhood I was divorced and supported them alone. It was hard, we had most of the necessities and a few of the wants. Now that they are grown, they say over and over how they were didn't feel deprived, they felt spoiled in many ways. Every one of them has something special that they shared with me, just the 2 of us. They ended up feeling special because of these one on one things. I was adamant that they grow up to be individuals and not part of the pack. I did an excellent job of that. They are all hard workers and thrifty because of what they grew with and without.
It was a difficult time, and yet we remember it as a happy time with lots of love.
The ONLY reason to have a child is a selfish one. I had mine because doggonit, I just LOVE babies, young children, older children, tweens and teens. Now that they are emerging and young adults, I love them even more. I spoiled them with as much time, attention and interaction as I could give them, which even with 6, turned out to be a lot. I have enjoyed and still enjoy watching them grow as people, as individuals. I watch them make choices and learn from them. I see them carry on with their own lives and pretty well ignore me, and I would not have any other way. Let something happen...like one of my sons is divorcing his abusive wife after 5 years (no kids) and he needs his mama to listen, sympathize, comfort and be there for him without judgment, no I-told-you-sos, no recriminations...and with plenty of love and support.
I don't feel that children are necessary for anyone, man or woman, to have in their lives. They were necessary for ME, as necessary as air, water and food! I say, if you want them because you want them because you do, you just do...HAVE THEM and have the number you want, be that 1 or 10. If want to have them to carry on the family name, or because everyone else you know is having one, or because those little pink dresses are so cute, or because your parents want you to have them...those are the wrong reasons and you will be unhappy.
I had my first one because my ex really believed he wanted a child. What he wanted was another person on the planet to worship him and do his bidding. He didn't think he would have to put in any work, either emotional or physical, and the child would adore him on sight. I was not really ready, but I capitulated. I believed differently about children and I understood that they are not in my life to love and revere me, I am in THEIR lives to love and revere THEM. Ends up my kids and I are very close, both boys and girls alike because I did it right.
Do what you want, just be sure you know what that is beforehand.
views
it could just be your csection scarring is obscuring a clear view. Sometimes, things will just show up better from another angle. Don't panic until someone pushes the panic button. good luck to you.
So many posts against my views
but I posted about where I lived, in an association, and many came back against my saying it was so nice here, quiet, no loud music, no bullies to threaten your kids but yet people seemed to think I was being I guess "uppity." I only had 1 problem since 2004 and that was the pit sending flames into the trees next door, unattended, with their wooden area adjoining mine. I stand by what I said but if you are moving, got the perfect place for you. I am so happy here, not like others think an association is. The people here are really nice, not bothersome and we take pride in how we live. Oh, here goes the flaming!!!
My views reenforced....
I was posting below about the fact about females being more aggressive and such. Last night I was watching some news and Faith Hil and her husband Tim McGraw on a tour together. Tim McGraw not only had a woman to snatch a ring from his finger, he asks for it back and then calls security and then a woman in the audience grabs Tim in his crotch and you can hear Faith telling the woman not to be grabbing her husband's balls! This is all over the news this weekend and need I say more???
Ok I have a problem with some of your views...sm
And I will tell you why....
It may very well irk you to no end to hear that someone is "single" with children as a reason why they are more entitled. Okay I have never been on food stamps before and I have never been a single parent before, but there are single mothers who were married and had a baby and the daddy just up and leaves or they divorce for some reason or other and he doesn't pay child support. I lot of single mothers did not just set out to go have a chld with no husband. Sometimes mistakes happen and people are not careful. If one can only get a job at McDonalds making minimum wage how can they possibly buy food and pay everything else on that pay? If you have 2 parents it seems to make more sense to me that maybe 2 can make more money and may not need food stamps thus the reasoning why being a single parent might entitle them to food stamps. Now as for the lady who is abusing the system that lives with her boyfriend with a good job that is different. She is abusing the system and does not deserve them. My point is with single mothers they don't always not plan. There are many circumstances that can make a person become a single parent beyond their control.
Interracial dating views
Do you think most people still have a bad opinion of interracial dating and should that matter anyway?
What would your teacher sisters say to your views?
kli
Don't know your views on stem cells
http://www.joplinglobe.com/homepage/local_story_245195943.html?keyword=leadpicturestory
You definitely need to do some research on her political views! nm
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I'm another one; I loved OP's explanation of her views sm
You expressed very succinctly what I feel. The world is my church and I don't need "group think" telling me how to live from some old book that was a mythological explanation for natural forces that ancient humans could not understand.
Anyway, you are not alone!
If you can't reconcile your views on $, spending sm
and happiness (i.e, that both of you deserve to be heard and to be happy), you are rapidly heading for divorce court. Go read some Suze Orman financial advice for women, for a start, and then get some counseling. He is obviously irresponsible with money and you are not. How old are you two, out of curiosity?
they have some system now that they can sign up for to track who views sm
their myspace. not sure how it works because i didn't sign up for it, but i see it posted all the time. i view my daughter's friends sites all the time. noone has said anything to me yet about it, but i do communicate with a lot of them on there as they are friends and any friends of my children are friends with me as well. they know i wouldn't going ratting off on them unless it was something majorly in the wrong.
NEVER do I watch shows where I know celebrities will try to further their political views
But then again, I do look at the pictures in the morning of their pretty dresses :)
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