Thank you. Single moms on welfare are not all bad ones.
Posted By: They said what on 2009-02-16
In Reply to: St. Amy....what can I say...all hail St. Amy... - sm
Women on here who say they have SOOOOO much saved for retirement and then talk about drawing social security burn my behind. It wasn't intended for the well-off to draw in the first place and probably will be gone by the time most of us get old enough to draw it.
This person is obviously overwhelmed with greed, wouldn't you say? In this day and age, with the greedy falling left and right, this one apparently doesn't understand that greedy behavior is no longer PC.
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Single moms - is it better to rent or buy? sm
I am separating, about to become a single mother of two children. I am wondering if I should buy a home or rent one. While buying seems like a good idea, I would also be giving a chunk of money for a down payment (which if I rented I could keep as emergency savings) plus I would be responsible to repair anything that might break. I would appreciate any advice on this.
thanks :-)
A single mother by choice does not make them a welfare
recipient and/or a bad person. Heck, I would be more inclined to put that person as unselfish and determined. You chose the easy way out, the single mother took on her commitment and took the responsibility.
Welfare
How do I feel about welfare?
1. I believe in what the Bible says about if a man asks for you coat, give him you cloak also. My church teaches that we give if asked, and we have done what we are suppose to. If they were underserving, then that is on them.
2. Don't judge. When my husband and I divorced, I was raising 3 children, working, and going to college to learn to be a MT. I could barely pay the rent. The ONLY thing I did not have to worry about was food, because I received food stamps. I HATED it. I saw people roll their eyes when I got out my food stamps. I cried all the way home. On my birthday, my best friend told me my birthday gift was having my nails done (something I had never done). I went with her when she had her nails done and thought it was such a luxary. Well, she took me to get my nails done for my birthday, and someone from my church saw me there. That person went to my pastor and said they would never help anyone in the church again, because if I could afford to get my nails done, the I did not need help. Not only was I embarrassed about the situation, but I was hurt that someone had judged me.
3. Be grateful you don't have to use food stamps. When I finished school, I was elated after I got a good job and did not have to use food stamps. When I saw someone having to count out their food stamps in front of me, I was sad for them but glad that they got some help. I also would busy myself so as to not embarrass them.
Yes, some people abuse the system, but I would rather 10 people abuse the system than 1 person and/or family go hungry.
This is just my opinion. Please do not bash me. You can't say anything I have not heard before, believe me.
How do you know she will be on welfare? (nm)
nm
Not sure who look like their moms, but maybe have some
character traits of their mothers.
I do know, some men look at the girl's mother to see what the girl will look like when she is older. If her mother is attractive, that certainly helps.
maybe she collects welfare and does not tell you.
nm
This goes toward the conversation on welfare below
Remember that conversation about single moms, welfare and foodstamps?
I was reading an article on MSNBC today. This man ended up in just the situation I was talking about. Read the whole article. Pay attention to the fact that it mentions medical bills and reverse mortgages.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29198366/
Question for you moms out there...sm
1. Did you have a lot of morning sickness?
2. How many weeks did it last, i.e. from 4 to 12 weeks pregnant or what?
Strippers can be moms too.
nm
Not so much our moms as we just try to teach
xx
Question for moms
 I have a question for mothers out there, I am 29 years old. My husband and I have been married for over 8 years almost 9 we are just now trying to have a baby. While we are excited about this we are also very nervous. I really love my husband and we have good marriage, I am so nervous about how a baby will change our marriage. I know it sounds selfish but I want to be a good wife when we have a child. Are these normal feelings? TIA!!
any moms out there with kids
How did you know they were "model material?" My 9-year old Corbin Blue look- alike wants to go for an open call at our local talent agency. He has the personality for it and i think he's gorgeous, but of course I'm biased!!!
Any tips for going to a call?
Moms are in charge of the fun!
What are your summer fun plans?
Free days at local attractions, or something bigger?
At my house we will be taking a week to explore our own state, which is pretty big!
Mean moms/childhood
I often questioned God why after 14 years of trying to get pregnant, I never did, then my uterus prolapsed and I had to have a hysterectomy.
I look at my childhood and it had a lot of faults. My mom was so devastated by her own bad childhood, that she really didn't know how to be a parent. My dad, who knew how to be a good parent, was often too busy having to take care of her after psychiatrists had her so drugged she often didn't get out of bed for days.
My mom is about to turn 65 and over the last 8 months or so, both my sister and I have gotten hate E-mail from her for no apparent reason other than she needs to pick a fight, so she starts pointing out our character defects. I originally refuted the points and it just escalated. I didn't even respond to her last hate E-mail. I'm wondering if something is going wrong with her brain (other than the mental illness she already has) from years of drinking or all of the prescription meds she's been hooked on (pain meds, amphetamines, sleeping pills, benzos.
Anyway, don't get me wrong, we did some crazy stuff when I was a kid. She even took my sister and me to a motel with a pool and we checked in overnight. I knew she didn't tell my dad where she was going and when she told us it was bedtime, I tried in vain to stay awake so she'd fall asleep and I could call my dad and let him know where we were. I was probably around 8 or 9 at the time. I felt guilt over that for years because I did fall asleep and never called him (and I wonder why I have insomnia now). He was crying when she brought us home late the next day.
Mom wasn't all bad times. When she was spiritually fit, we had a lot of fun. And I can recognize, as an adult, that she has a personality disorder and I just don't feed it. I love her and always will. I just have to hope I catch her on better days.
I guess what I'm saying is I hope that kid doesn't grow up with memories like mine. I hope the mother was just having a really bad day with a kid who had been acting up all day. And I hope she told him she was sorry and hugged him.
Anyway, I've come to realize that I never really had a good, consistent example of a parent. What kind of parent would I have made? My husband was gone a lot early on. He could be gone 6 months, come back for 10 days and then leave again for another 2 months. Many military wives have dealt with this and had children. Looking back (hindsight is always 20/20), I'm not sure I had what it took to be a good parent so it's best that I never did get pregnant. At least thinking about it that way helps take away some of the emptiness.
My faith is now in God, that He has some other purpose for me than being a parent to human children. I work with a pug rescue and maybe that's what I was meant to do. I believe He has not revealed his full purpose for me, but gives me a little more each time.
Anyway, sorry for rambling so much. If you've stuck with me this long, thanks. It's been a rough, emotional week. Hope yours is going better. :-)
((((((Hugs)))))) to everyone who needs one.
God bless.
Has it been reported they are all on welfare, medicaid, etc??
x
Matrimonial (or shackup) welfare then..I see!
//
If that's not a case for welfare reform, I don't know what is - sm
Wouldn't it make sense for us (as taxpayers) to say: We understand occasionally people have hardships and need food stamps and other help; however, while you are receiving assistance, you must have Norplant (or something that can't be accidentally forgotten) so that you cannot have another child while receiving it? Otherwise we are simply perpetuating the welfare state by enabling unemployed people to have as many kids as they can, and rewarding them to do so.
Divorced Moms - How did you know it was time? (sm)
I am in an unhappy marriage, but I am scared to leave. I have insurance through my husband because I am an IC and I have all these fears - what if my job phases out? what if I injure my hands, what if I get sick, how will I take care of my kids. How did you know it was time?? Is it better now>
any cheerleader moms out there? i need some suggestions. sm
i have a varsity cheerleader. her turn is coming up to make the candy bag thingies, but she wants to do something different. she wanted to use paper towel rolls cut in half (they aren't allowed to use toilet paper rolls due to sanitary reasons), stuffed with candy and rolled up. however, i have not been able to collect 150 paper towel rolls or 75 even for that matter to cut in half. she has two weeks to get 150 candy bags ready. any suggestions on something different to use for candy bags rather than the standard norm of goodie bags?
Well, the former welfare recipient has her millions now & feels
regardless if it adversely affects children. She knows full well that her books are read by children. Since she has opted to make such a poor decision, I am opting to make a good decision and no longer purchase her books, watch her movies, or buy any products related to her books as she gets a cut on everything. It's one thing to have a personal opinion about homosexuality, but she didn't have to publicly link it to a character in her books.
Are you sister of poster with tax-welfare issues?
x
How do you feel about Food Stamps/Welfare?
In the way home from school last night, I had to run into the Ameristop to get a gallon of Orange Juice.
Well, as I was pulling in, this lady (about 25) was walking in, sort of rough looking girl.
Well, she was ahead of me in line then and she got her food stamps out, and typically this kind of thing makes me upset. Because, you could see physically anyway, there was nothing wrong with her.
But, maybe there was....... or maybe she lost her job, and is trying to manage. Not that I was being nosey or anything, but there she had 2 Gallons of Milk, Sausage and Biscuit Dough. So, maybe she was trying to get breakfast for her family in the morning. So now all of a sudden I feel guilty.
But, if we weren't in these hard economic times where jobs were scarce, I typically wouldnt be as understanding, because I do feel Welfare is Abused.
What about you?
THEN, another thing......... maybe you will know, Sometimes you see Welfare people ahead of you in line at the grocery store or something, and they ALWAYS have "Name-brand" in their cart. Never Store Brand. Well I shouldnt say Never, but it always seems like your name brands.
Does Welfare require them to get Name Brand?
I DID NOT DRAW WELFARE. I got food stamps
only for a very short time. I was also a taxpayer then and had been for a number of years before and still continue to be. Why don't you come down off your high horse and realize that sometimes people need help. I hope that you and Amy never become disabled and have to rely on government services to help you.
Boys wrap their moms around their fingers too
Apparently you, for example......I know moms of boys and sometimes I think some of them are delusional about their *boys/men*.....I don't know - I surely just don't get it.....as much as I try to get it.....
Questions for moms with daughters in puberty.. sm
My daughter will be 13 in December. Back in early August she had what I thought was the starting of her menses. She had some blood for about one week and then done. She has not had anything for the month of September. Is this normal? When I started I never remember stopping after the first one. She does play a lot of soccer and takes dance, so that might be part of it to. Any other mom's experiencing this?? She knows all about sex and pregnancy, so I know that is not an issue, especially since she goes nowhere without me or her dad. Thanks for any input.
I totally agree...no one can understand this job but us MT Moms...
no breaks from anything...but I love working at home and wouldn't change it for the world...even if my kids do drive me crazy on a daily basis---LOL...part of the job...
i care about child abuse, welfare fraud, and
dumping of young males to the streets, so they lessen the competition for the multi-wife thing. This is all well-documented. This is not about just polygamy -- which is also against the law, but its the abuse of children and abuse of our welfare system -- all under the banner of religion. If it was just about men taking multiple ADULT wives, the government would not likely have stepped in to even enforce that law.
"The parents", the "older man". The welfare of child
tfd
Abuse of food stamps/welfare is a MAJOR
nm
Moms - how long did you wait to tell people you were pregnant?
Right away or waited a while?
To all you married moms with kids and hubby at home,
do you ever dream about living by yourself? Not just with no kids, but with no hubby either? I love my family, but when I feel overwhelmed, when life gets too stressful, I can't help but think how peaceful that kind of life would be, with just myself to take care of. Of course I know in my heart that if I was by myself I would be bored and lonely, but right now it sounds really good! It has been one of those days...
You're just a Scrooge, that's all. Read Jewish Moms post above.
g
Make a fuss to school board, principal, teachers, dept. of child welfare (sm)
whoever you need to. I understand these are difficult to get rid of but obviously the mom of that little girl is not getting rid of them, maybe she treats the child but if you don't clean up the environment reinfestation is a sure thing.
We got a letter from the school yesterday stating there is a lice outbreak in the school. Then we had a program last night in which all the 3rd graders put on these little capes (that came out of a community bag where they had used them before at practice and then bagged them back up) They of course went over their heads and rested on their shoulders. I wasn't the only person that sucked in air when they saw this last night.
I am sure that poor child is and will be embarrassed about this and probably other things in the future if her health/hygiene issues are not being taken care of properly.
I'm with you 50 and single..
I too have sworn off relationships and very happy being on my own. I cannot and will not go through it again. Both my ex's were two peas in a pod. Unfortunately, I seem to attract the same type of people. At 52, I am quite happy being alone but also having a great circle of friends. It far outweighs being unhappy, angry, always hoping things would get better when they never did.
I am not a single mom but...
I was a single woman when I bought my house. It is one of the things I regret the most right now.
BUT ONLY cause I wasn't settled down, no family, things came up and i wanted to move. I also bought it right before the market crashed 2.5 years ago, and now I am in an interest-only ARM on an upside down mortgage.
Now, considering this probably wont happen to you because the market has already crashed, there still might be room to wonder if it could fall more, depending on where you are looking to buy. My advice is if you are going to stay there and that is your home, your job, etc. etc. then buying is a great idea and when you mention you are responsible for anything that happens to the house... well that is the chance you take. Depends on what kind of home you buy, how old, and if there are HOA dues. I still dont know how I feel about homeowner's associations, even though I belong to one. However, they will be responsible for anything exteriorly wrong with my house, but for $80.00 a month. you know? so you definitely have to weigh your options.
My main advice would be DO NOT RUSH. that is what I did as I was young and excited to be a home owner at a young age, but now all that money i worked so hard for since the age of 15 is gone. I no longer have the 50K I put down on the house. That is something REALLY tough to deal with.
I love being a homeowner, but I hate that I bought when I did. you know? I know I am not the only one in that boat of course but it is still very very tough.
Good luck!!
well, I'm a single mom....
I've been divorced for nearly 8 years. I have taken care of my son completely on my own. I do not have a huge social circle, but I know what I like to do, and I concentrate on my son, but one day that child will (hopefully) grow up and be on his own and so it will be just me. I know what I like, do what I like, but sometimes, having that special someone would just, for me, make things better. But, now this is the odd part, having been married to the wrong man, I would be perfectly content to have a "significant other" without ever going to the "married" stage. I am fine and have been fine on my own the last 7 years, learned a lot about myself. Now at 35, I feel like I want someone in my life, but I dont necessarily have to be married. Sounds odd, and most of my friends are the opposite. But, I'm also one of those people that never had a lot of boyfriends, etc. I was not the girl in high school who had crushes on a lot of guys, I chose to date and not have a serious relationship in high school because I thought I was too young for that, haha. I've seen both ends of the spectrum, I've seen completely happy couples, my own mom and step-dad for example, if I was to ever get married again, I want a relationship like theirs. They are each other's best friends, and still so in love, but they also make a point of doing things separately because they are, after all, 2 separate people; and I've seen people in my life who are in their 60s and still perfectly content to be single.
I'm in the middle of that spectrum, haha, I would like someone to share in parts of my life, but I don't have to marry him if that never happens either. :)
I do know that I'm picky on friends, and I'm shy, and I don't date much, its just hard to date. I'm a single mom, I work from home, I live in a small town and have only been here 6 years, but only made 2 friends, well, people I would consider friends, I work midnights, sleep during the day, and spend time with my son in the evenings and with our family on the weekends, so I really don't even have time to date, so its a darn good thing I am happy in my life, haha, or I'd be a lonely mess. Sometimes it does get lonely, but in an affection way, not so much in a socializing way for me, I don't know how else to word that.
A single woman
What you're feeling is perfectly normal. Please do not rush into a relationship with any man at this point. Enjoy this time and spend it getting to know your children better and just spending time with them. Also get to know yourself and feel comfortable with who you are - develop some hobbies and interests. If you've spent the last 2 decades in this kind of relationship, you haven't had much time to spend on yourself. Soak in a hot tub every night if you want to.
In a sense, you've just cut a huge wart off your foot and of course it's going to feel strange and unfamiliar. It was the wart that was strange, now things are normal. It just feels strange because you aren't used to it.
Hope some of this makes sense. If you think about it, I bet you are actually less lonely now than when he was there. Some of the loneliest people I know are in marriages and relationships. Some of the happiest and most joy-filled people I know are on their own.
So happy to be single.
Sounds like he has a huge stick stuck somewhere uncomfortable. Big hugs for you!
were you a single parent
x
It was not my attempt to single anyone out
is simply curiosity about some of the posts I've read. Has nothing to do with Huckabee, constitution, declaration of independence, etc.
As far as the nice day goes... right back at ya! :)
Question for single MTs
I am divorced now for awhile. I am finding that I have absolutely no interest in dating! I look at the online dating sights occasionally but no one attracts me. There seem to be slim pickens if you know what I mean. Anyway, I seem to be very happy on my own. My question is, do any of you feel the same? I guess I'm just at a point in my life where I'd rather stay single.
not one single fear
zero, zip, zilch, nada...
we are born with two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. the rest we create or obtain on our own later in life. me: none, other than the two i was born with.
Single Mom Survivor here ... have
Looking back over my experience as an owner and as a renter, raising my children alone with limited resources:
Renting is easier and more cost effective for you than buying.
Pro's of renting:
1. Low deposit to get in the door.
2. Rent is usually reasonable and oftentimes contract won't go up if you are a good renter.
3. MAINTENANCE is the responsibility of the management -- you are not out for those costs.
4. You can leave with a 30-day notice.
Pro's of ownership:
1. You are building equity.
2. Tax breaks.
3. If financial crisis, it takes about 6 to 9 months to get to foreclosure so you do have some time to find another place.
Con's of renting:
1. May require a background and/or credit check.
2. Although evictions are subject to some jurisdiction (they must give you a 10-day notice), it can be quicker to evict you from a rental than from your own property.
Con's of ownership:
1. ALL maintenance and repairs are up to you. Can be very costly.
2. You cannot get out of this very easily - especially in this market.
Hope this helps.
She's not a single person
The cnn article is worded a little confusingly, but the woman is married and her husband is the one who is scheduled to return to Iraq, not her father.
I have no idea why she was taking fertility drugs when she already has 6 at home - unless they are not biologically hers. The doctors should be sued for malpractice for implanting that many embryos. The ethics guidelines these days state that they should not implant any more than two at a time to avoid situations exactly like this.
And now you see why they're single!
I think the internet is partially to blame. Guys start trolling for women and never stop the conquest. Supposedly hot babes to flirt with, who wants an average girl in real life?
If you could force the creeps to tell the truth:
"Sorry I blew off our lunch date, but I was busy having spur-of-the-moment cybersex with a stranger."
"Oh, I never intended to actually MEET you, I only enjoyed the challenge of seeing if you would meet ME. I prefer fantasies to reality."
"Disappointing women gives me a power rush. Score!"
"Quantity over quality, honey. Now describe what you're wearing. And what WAS your name again?"
Definition of a single man...
... I heard this and told it to my then-husband, who, oddly enough, did not find it funny. (Perhaps because the shoe fit all too well.)
Anyway... this lady said that many men basically had their d*ck in one hand and their umbilical cord in the other, and were looking for a place they could plug them both in....
Is he single?? LOL - not many good ones left. nm
x
single-parent dating (sm)
I'm not sure that the length of time you have been dating is really relevant as other posters mentioned. If you feel you need to have the relationship defined, it should be and when it is, you need to decide what to do next.
It is SO hard to date when you have a child, especially a daughter that you want to raise with good morals and self esteem. In order to build a good relationship and be sure the guy likes your kid, you have to invest time and expose the child(ren) to him. If he's not *the one* then you have to repeat the process, thereby exposing you kids to men, attachments, and as far as I'm concerned, confusion on the part of the kids.
I came to this conclusion shortly after my ex and I split when my daughter was 5. I dated one guy, we broke up, and didn't date again until she was out of high school.
I also identified with a line in Jerry MacGuire; words to the effect that spending time with my kid was more fun and fulfilling than any frog or potential prince.
It's my opinion and only my opinion that we had our lives, made our decisions, had our fun, made our mistakes, brought kids into the world and they should be our focus. It's hard to focus and give full attention to a child when there is guy anxiety.
I know many have done it and have been extremely successful with merging families and doing the step-dad/mom thing. I just didn't think it was fair to gamble with my child's future... things don't always happen in real life like they do in movies...
All of this was probably of no help, but I sincerely think you do need to stop and think what is going to give you peace of mind, not necessarily happiness or instant gratification, and know that whatever does give you peace of mind will benefit your child.
Good luck, sweetie! :-)
I assume you're single.......
You need to call this guy. Call him at the office with a "question" and see where the conversation takes you.....Good luck!!!
Oxymoron indeed! LOL. Single is definitely best if you can afford it : )
x
I am talking single mom by choice, not by
a death. I have been widowed before and still had a child at home and the insurance money then was split half for a burial and I gave my child the other $10,000. I do not believe in pity-parties as I see a lot on MTS. I am just glad I waited until later when having my children. I think the ultrasound is a way to make a women thing more about what should be her decision alone but would not have changed my mind then or now.
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