Teen Troubles
Posted By: Marie on 2008-07-19
In Reply to: good for you! Your only pledge of - linda
Can you say, "Dr. Phil?" If you are that desperate, I would definitely consider it.
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guy troubles
Since you also have your daughter to think about, you should slow down, for crying out loud. Two months is such a short time. Way too early go go away for the weekend together.
Sorry for your troubles--sm
and I really hate to make it any worse, but from what I hear through the grapevine, if they want to act on that arrest warrant and they know you are going to court tomorrow, they could be there and arrest you there. Just warning you. Good luck.
you seem to have a lot of troubles with your
digestive system.
UTI, gas to fill up up 3 gas tanks, eeeewww! Excuse me but that's no stuff to post on a forum, eeeewwww! No refinement, yuck!
But on the other hand, considering that yoi are a Republican, that's explains it.
Need opinion on guy troubles
I'm a single mom, 32, dating a guy for 2 months. I sort of know deep down what I need to do but wanted opinions. We have been dating 2 months, things are going great. We went away for weekend, good with my daughter, very generous, nice Christmas presents (no card though) for me and daughter (probably $250), talk every day, seeing each other now on weekends and 1 day during week (and we do live 50 miles away). So yesterday (nice timing on my part), I ask him where are we in the relationship. He goes into how he does not want to rush things, can't commit to being exclusive, we're both important to him, but he just wants to make sure. He also said that he is not seeing anyone else at the moment, but it is not ruled out (not looking, but hasn't not stopped getting matches-yes, we met online).
Anyway, hurt my feelings, and my gut says to say, you know, I really like you, fine to go slow, but I need to make sure for my own sake that you are not seeing anyone else.
My fave line from Jerry MacGuire, real men don't shoplift the pootie from a single mom.
Anyway, please let me know what you think. In my opinion, we are not going slow, and things seemed perfetly fine. And by the way, he came to my daughter's Christmas show this year also, drove 50 miles for that. Very affectionate to me and good with my daughter, although not rushing that relationship.
What troubles me most about your post
is the violence your hubby seems to display. I don't have stepchildren and so will not comment on that aspect. I have, however, been in a relationship with someone who sounds a lot like your hubby. Thankfully, no children were involved, but when he got mad, he broke stuff, expensive stuff. I didn't stay in that relationship but heard later on he was married several times and divorced each with charges of domestic violence against him. I would be most worried about his temper tantrums escalating into something more.
As for the child's behavior, this I will comment on as I have a very difficult 7-year-old. I took him for counseling and learned a lot of insight from the counselor. There were things I was unintentionally doing to incite him without even realizing it. The counselor also pointed out that I had 2 other children who did not act like this, so not to blame my parenting skills. He was just a child who needed to be handled differently. I felt a lot of guilt the last few years, thinking it was something I did to make him this way, but it turns out, that's just the way he was made. I'm thankful that I got up the courage to see a counselor, and while our problems weren't solved, they are better. It's an ongoing process, but he's worth it because I love him so!
I would suggest that you find a private counselor to help you sort this. I would not invite hubby along just yet. I also wouldn't tell him about the first appointment until you talk with the counselor on how to broach the subject with him. I would definitely let him know about the first appointment before the second appointment. It would probably be a good idea to discuss it when his son is not there.
Good luck with your situation. I feel for you. Children can be stressful to any relationship, but the joy they can bring is many times over.
Troubles with 17-year-old
I am having some troubles with my 17-year-old daughter. She lives with her dad. She is going to be 18 in December and wants to move out. She wants me to move in with me, but I live with my boyfriend and it would not work out for. She is very spoiled and does not follow rules. She wants me to get an apartment and move in with her. I really do not want to do this as she really knows how to push my buttons and I feel we would be arguing all the time. Also, if I move out of my boyfriends, he would probably lose the house if I were not helping out with bills. Has anyone else been in this situation? Any suggestions would be appreciated.
nor was I offended. Sorry for your troubles in the marriage. sm
Maybe he just needed some "relief" if the two of you are not getting along so well in the bedroom, so to speak, if you catch my drift.
Teen Sex
I understand your pain Mom; however, your "baby girl" is a young woman who is sexually active now. These are the statistics for teen sex today:
 Students who have had intercourse in highschool:
 40% of ninth graders
47% of tenth graders
57% of eleventh graders
72% of twelvth graders
Keep the lines of communication open. You cannot "regulate" your daughter's sex life. If you try, you will be fighting a losing battle. They will sneak around and find places to "do it." Encourage your daughter to have a female exam, Pap, and testing for STDs because that is the responsible thing ALL sexually active people should do today - not because she is "bad" or needs to be "taught a lesson about the seriousness of her actions." Trust that you have done a good job in raising her. Continue to be there for her.
Lilly
TEEN DRIVING
I just dropped you an email.
teen fashion
OK, I have a teenage daughter who tells me "shaggy" hair is in for boys--nothing too clean cut. Clothes wise, American Eagle and the Buckle have trendy stuff. T-shirts with graphic designs, artsy, music related, kind of off the wall bands are popular--check out Target or Kohls for these, too. Hemp jewelry, dark-colored sneakers, pants that don't show your ankles when you sit down. Sagging is NOT hip, but not skin tight either. Don't tuck the shirts in. Just neat, but casual.
Hope this gives you an idea what to look for. Good luck!
teen clothes
For boys (my younest son is almost 16) - American eagle is hugely popular around here. My son also likes Abercrombie but they are so ridiculously expensive. Dockers shorts - lots of good shorts at Kohl's if you have one near you. Also if he has a favorite band/bands - order some of their graphic T shirts online, let him express his personality. Kids that age love those kind of T shirts.
Those of you with teen drivers....
...how did you handle speeding tickets, punishment wise? Take away their keys for XXX amount of time, ignore the first offense, ground them, etc.
teen drivers
I made my son pay his own ticket which for him was the punishment. I have to admit I speed so we didn't ground him or anything. Hasn't happened since.
Teen driver
I made my son pay his own tickets as well. He might have had a couple, total, but he soon learned. He's 21 now.
Thank you to all; I have a teen here in my complex who wants to do it.
Thank you.
teen driver
When my daughter got her license I gave her my older vehicle and she was responsible for gas and insurance. She paid for her repairs, but I helped if they were very high. My insurance agent told me to put her on her own policy so I would not get sued if she had an accident and my rates would not be affected by her driving record. By her living in my home she was able to get my discounts, ie., two car discount, different safety features on her vehicle, and home being insured. This was a wise choice as she had two small accidents within a year and is now paying high risk and my rates didn't change, but my insurance would have gone from $300 to $2600 every six months if she were on my policy. She hated having to pay since all her friends' parents were footing the whole bill, but now in college she appreciates it because she knows how to pay bills and budget her money while her friends are always bouncing checks or calling mom and dad for money.
Teen fashion emergency! :) SM
OK, please help if you can. My son and I are clueless when it comes to "cool" fashions. His friends sorta teased him today and said he is really uncool (uncool haircut, clothes, shoes). They jokingly said they were going to do an extreme makeover on him. I laughed at first, but then thought, "Hey! That's not half bad!" He is starting high school in the fall, and I would like to help him with a makeover this summer. He is a nice looking kid, just got his braces off (so has a really nice smile), a little bit on the husky side, but his clothes and shoes are Walmart specials. He is just a basic "boy" hair cut.
What is "cool" for boys? Where should we shop? What kind of haircut is cool for a 15-year-old boy? I'm so clueless!
Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated!
 Chickadee
I too met my "father" as a teen/adult.
I had always asked questions. My mom was always very honest when she felt we could handle it about why they broke up (he was abusive). He contacted my brother and me when I was 16. I met him, found out he wasn't my "dad" since that was someone who would have at least been there for me when I needed him or to even know so I consider my "father" as a sperm donor. I am glad I did meet him and have closure (like someone else mentioned) because I think I would have always been curious but I didn't pursue a relationship with him. My father-in-law has been a real dad to me but my blood relative father is not a dad.
I agree with what someone mentioned too that your mom may not have been totally honest, wanting you to not want to pursue meeting him. I was lucky, my mom never badmouthed him when we were growing up even when we had all these questions about him, why they didn't stay married, what it would be like if they had stayed together and everything else. I realize now of course my mom was smart to have gotten out at the beginning. Once an abuser always an abuser so I'm relieved now. If you want to talk about it more let me know and I'll send you my e-mail.
JMO, but having been a very wild teen at one time...
you really should intervene. Your sister has a right to know, it is her child after all, and to turn a blind eye and pretend it does not exist does your niece more harm than good. Take it from one who has been there, if someone would have done the same for me I would have been angry, but looking back now it would have changed my life tremendously. A lot of young girls today really need some direction, look at the role models they have out there, most of them are nothing to brag about! Good luck to you, you sound like a loving and caring auntie!
I have two teen drivers on my insurance.
One is away at college and is not allowed to have a car on campus. Since he's paying for, or has earned scholarships for a good portion of his tuition, we pick up his car insurance as a secondary driver on a very old Toyota that he inherited from his grandfather. My second son has had his license for only two weeks. At the current time, as he is a good student, responsible and working very hard at school and on some extracurricular activities, we pick up his insurance as a secondary driver, as well. So far, so good. No one has had any moving violations or dings. In fact, I'm 46 and have never had a moving violation and have only gotten two parking tickets (deserved).
We're very serious here about driving responsibility. The boys know that one speeding ticket and we drop them from our insurance like hot potatoes. No insurance, no driving, no car. No warning. Mess up once, and they don't get back behind the wheel on our dime ever. The boys also know that their father and I mean what we say. We're not rich, but we are happy to be able to help our sons as they work toward their futures. But we won't pay high insurance fees because of their stupidity. More importantly, we've been to too many funerals for young people who died in accidents caused by speeding. I think that because of this, our boys seem to have taken their driving responsibilities/privileges very seriously.
update on teen drama
I posted before about how my son's ex-girlfriend was sabotaging him receiving an invitation to Sadie Hawkins dance. The girl that "changed her mind" can't find another date because it is too close to time.
So she follows my son all over the place, but she has to be loyal to the "Queen Bee" and doesn't seem to have the courage to ask him again.
Four years is a long time to be incarcerated in high school. Maybe he will get an A in chemistry instead!
Teen Heart Throbs
Who was your celebrity teen heart throb?
Mine has always been Donny Osmond. I really liked David Cassidy too.
Teen heart throbs
First was probably David Cassidy. Too many more to mention. LOL.
I've had 2 teen boys and my suggestion is to
take him to SuperCuts where for really cheap you can get him a hip cut. Have him look at the books/magazines and then ask the stylist for her opinion depending on his face structure, hair type, etc. Next, I would go to Target for his clothes - they are a little more expensive but classy - WalMart is pretty well hated by all teens.... he would probably rather have fewer shirts and pants and have them be a little nicer...... and shop for some bargain shoes - Famous Footwear - or check sales and don't forget the internet!! JCPenney is great also - almost forgot about them!!
Great teen stores. They are owned by the same ... SM
establishment (for lack of a better word LOL). Gap is the more expensive, higher end, clothing. Old Navy is less expensive and is what the kids around here wear the most of. Either is really good but Old Navy goes a lot further in your budget.
Maurice's is good and not so high priced, if you have one of those nearby. And don't forget about the old standbys like Macy's, Penney's, Sears, and Belk's if these are in your area of the country.
I feel like if I don't change the course now then I will have problems when he is a teen (sm)
I am hoping if I can find a way to alter his course, maybe it can go in a different direction. I know everyone has their own personality, but I think as parents it is our job to do our best to raise them to be the best adults they can be, and to give them a chance at having a happy adult life. If I just ignore it, I think I would not be doing my job as a mom.
When I was a teen & my sister was 10, my parents banned
We got around that one pretty easily. At 10:00 or so, we'd each yawn, say goodnight, and go to bed. Our parents usually followed not long after. At 11:30 I'd get up, wake up my sister, and we'd sneak back out to the living room to watch it with the sound way down. My parent's bedroom was back at the other end of the house, so they couldn't hear it or see the light from the TV. We never got caught, either! Hehe
Well, I was not on a teen-role model, not in the public eye
no one was looking to me and I got myself into trouble and had more sense than to know I wanted to nor could I raise a child at my age(by the way, not 16, older). I assumed responsibility because I took care of things, did not regret then nor now and never have. She, from what I hear, did not tell her mother until well past the time she could have gotten an abortion, sounds like she wanted to be pregnant. I have absolutely no regrets about things I have done in the past.
I'm not a teen, far from it but I get SVT a couple of times a year sm
I usually get it in the middle of the night and it usually lasts about 4 hours. I am prescribed 40 mg of verapamil, which I take 1 at the onset and then 1 every hour until it eases up. I usually end up taking about 4 or 5. That works for me, but then I'm usually wiped out for a few hours afterwards.
My first experience where this lasted more than a few minutes, I went to the ER and they gave me 6 mg of adenosine which converted me. They were able to see the SVT on my EKG, so the cardiologist was able to correctly treat me. They have offered me other treatment options, such as electrophysiology ablation, but since I only get it a couple of times a year, I'm not at the point where I want it treated surgically.
Good luck.
I am not letting my young teen marry an old man.
x
Next door neighbor's teen having parties
I am sooo sick of the next door neighbors. It is a mom and 2 teenage daughters. They have been having a party going on 5 days now. Tons of cars over partially blocking our driveway, loud talking and laughter, underage drinking, throwing their litter (beer cans) onto our side of the yard...etc. I just want to sit out on my porch and not have a gang of teens a few feet away. What kind of mom lets this kind of thing go on and these kids (boys and girls) have spent the night every night. I am sick of it. I thought it would end with today being Monday and the holiday weekend being over. But they continue to hang out over there. I just want peace and quiet like it is usually here. What would you guys do? I would love to call the cops on them but have never done anything like that before. I just feel like this is ridiculous especially since we live in apartment homes and not houses so our duplexes are very close together. 
I think what you are experiencing is all normal teen behavior. sm
I can't think of anyone that I hung around with in my teens that didn't run away. Trust me ---- they ALWAYS COME BACK.
OMG, we did that with our teen kids one year. Unavoidable. Miserable
s
I'd give the teen whatever you spend on shirts for the younger one &
s
Aqua-Teen Hunger Force's Ignot and Err.
I could never explain the cartoon...it's something you have to see to believe and have an incredibly warped sense of humor to enjoy.
Then I probably wouldn’t post about teen having okayed premarital sex
on this post. Everything is game when you post as far as I am concerned. Keep it to yourself if you don’t want others to comment. sex at 16 is statuatory rape in my state and if it had knowingly happened with my child, I would not buy them BCPs, rather had taken a legal course. I really can say what I think, thank you.
My teen daughter has this, too. We're trying the dermatologist next. OTC stuff isn't cutting i
v
Teen girls accused of setting kitten on fire (sm)
This article made my stomach roll. Maximum penalty (yeah, right) is 3 years in solitary confinement. Personally, I think they should be publically whipped until they scream and then whipped until they stop screaming...but that's just me.
"A boy and his friend said they saw the smoke and heard the cat shrieking while the girls laughed."
http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/13708685/detail.html?rss=dgo&psp=news
(cut and paste into your browser to read article)
Hubs did window cleaning as a teen & always got swamped w/folks wanting them
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