Talk to your sister - ASAP
Posted By: Rad MT on 2007-07-11
In Reply to: need advice... - Concerned Aunt
Depending on what kind of relationship you have with your sister, you may have to be careful what you say (you don't want to give her any reason to think you are criticizing her as a parent). But TALK to her, and soon. Your niece is a minor and is engaging in behaviors that are dangerous and irresponsible.
Yes, your niece may be angry with you, but if intervening in this situation saves her life, won't it be worth it? When your niece gets a little older and wiser, she may thank you for this (but don't hold your breath).
You are NOT interfering. You are trying to save the life of a minor child who is making bad life decisions. These days, both alcohol and sex can kill.
Good luck, and please keep us posted on what happens.
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Talk to niece not your sister
Make this an oppotunity to bond with your niece. Don't tell her who told you, just talk to her alone and in a nonconfronting manner. Her sexuality is none of anyones business, teens have sex its been happening for 100s of years. She needs to know you are concerned about her health (pregnancy happens and lives change and things usually work out okay, but STDs can kill and infect more than just her. Offer to take her to a clinic to get tested and encourage that if she is going to be active then she needs to be on birth control plus a barrier method for her safety and her partners' safety. I would also talk to her about the drinking any other substance use that , may be going on. Offer her your ear to listen to her need to fit in, which is probably what is going on. She will hate you if you go to her mom,try talking to your niece first. See if she wants to go out for some girl time, shopping at the mall and out to lunch or something. Car rides are a great opportunity to talk and bond with nieces, daughters, etc..., and she can't storm out of the car if she gets upset.
Funny - I call my mother "Ma" now but when I talk to my sister (sm)
we refer to her as "Mommy". Does anyone else do this, or are we just weird? 
Get it done asap...sm
You'll feel better and run less chance of developing pancreatitis from a stone blocking a duct. Since I work from home I was allowed to return to work 2 days after having the laparoscopic surgery with instructions to take frequent breaks, which the company I work for allowed me to do.
Get to your PCP ASAP..sm
I don't pretend to be a doc nor do I play one on TV. Don't wanna make any suggestions 'cause that'll stick in your head just like all the things we transcribe and identify with. Hope you get feeling better soon. Cat
I'd get a lawyer ASAP and have those
before he spends it all on the other woman or hides it offshore. No way would I let my half go with him and that other woman. I know this may sound a little harsh, but your mom needs to wake up and do something now before it's too late.
Get checked out ASAP
It might not be serious but no sense in taking any chances. Definitely don't think it would have anything to do with vision or viewing monitor for any length of time ... more of a neuromuscular thing.
Let us know how you come out. We are thinking of you!
I would get him into counselor ASAP
bb
Need pediatric dental help ASAP please!!
My 7-year-olds silver cap just came off one of his teeth (all in one piece). Do I just wait until Monday to call the dentist. What do I do??? (his tooth underneath it looks awful)!!
I'd leave him and get HIV-tested ASAP. sm
In this day and age, if a wife cares anything about herself, she had better run in the opposite direction. With HIV going around like the common cold....more than ever, a wife just can't afford to take chances.
Okay, my sister and I are doing Thanksgiving this year and since my sister can't cook, that means
I'm doing the cooking. My sister gets equal billing cause we're doing it at her house. :) Soooo, I'm looking for some vegetable ideas. I am about sick of green bean casserole! Does anyone have any really tasty recipes for vegetables side? Any kind of vegetables. I'm looking for something different and fabulous.
I had a corn casserole at one potluck I went to, but never got the recipe. Anybody got a good corn recipe?
Thanks Ladies!
i suggest making an appointment with your doc ASAP sm
the health of you and the baby might be at risk...why take a chance? you already have enough to worry about and have 3 more months to go! i'm glad you came here for an opinion, but we're not practitioners...i think you need to get off your feet and talk to your doc stat!
Did ya ever just wanna talk about nuthin' just to talk?
As I said before in another post, I miss everyone so much...
So, I have absolutely NOTHING to talk about. Love my new job, love that spring is on the way, and I love that my belly is absolutely filled up with pancakes my husband kindly made for me just now...even though it's lunchtime and not breakfast. I'm one of those freaks that could eat breakfast-type foods at every meal.
...and that reminds me that it's almost that time of year to order some baby chicks for next month. Laying hens, not for meat or anything, just eggs and entertainment. I can't wait for warm weather--it's been a long HARSH winter this year. In fact, I think we're due for another ice storm at the end of the week.
I hope everyone who stops by to read my note about nothing finds themselves and their families in good health. Miss you all, even the ones that can't stand seeing that "Hayseed" name up there.
Go try it, talk, talk and listen sm
Counselors are trained to "listen" and direct you to talk (not them). I have transcribed many, many mental health reports. They do dig deep and keep it going for a very long time, very long, usually (perhaps not for you). But if you both don't tell the truth, you are wasting your money, so why not just get it all out on the table and get it over with and get on with your lives? Don't pussy foot around, get it all out and deal with it. Gosh, life is too short to put on a show, it's not a dress rehearsal, it's life. Go forward, forgive, forget and forge ahead. Don't need a degree for that!! But a little help can't hurt. Might help.
My sister did
My sister changed her OB in the last 2 weeks, but it was because she moved. She had an appointment to see an OB in her new town, went in and took her records, did some paperwork. Then, she went into labor the day before her appointment was scheduled. So, she met her new doctor in labor and delivery.
But, it was her 4th baby and the first 2 were born in military hospitals, so she was up for anything.
How are you supposed to contact your OB if you go into labor if they don't have an answering service? This is very strange.
My sister-in-law comes
About every 3 weeks and does a good cleaning. 2 bathrooms, 1 bedroom, kitchen and living room. I pay her $40/visit. Hubby's bathroom can get quite bad, so she gets a $5 or $10 tip if it's worse than reasonable. Then I just run a vacuum and keep the dishwasher and laundry caught up between.
I hate housecleaning and she needs the money, so it works out for us.
My sister is one
Had to break any ties with her 8 years ago. She recently contacted me and still does not understand while I will not speak to her. She is upset that she has missed my children growing up. But they are the reason I finally broke ties with her. She was bringing too much trouble and grief to my family and saying inappropriate things about our mother to them. She is 53 and still is fixated on all the wrongs done to her when she was 5. I finally said enough is enough. Have never been happier.
My sister and I both used it
I had good results initially, but then not so much. I didn't feel it was worth the money. My sister had fantastic results and it even faded a lot of her scarring on her chin and jawline.
My sister says it does (sm)
She lost about 40 pounds recently and says Hoodia helped her a lot. In fact her doctor told her to continue taking it. She has diabetes and is very overweight. I am trying to lose too! I have used hoodia before but didn't think it helped much. I just started taking Cordyceps mushroom capsules and am going to try Curvelle as soon as I can find it available somewhere. Good luck to you!
My sister . . .
made her hungry all the time, bloated and gained 10 pounds. Other than that she feels way better.
me ex-sister-in-law
totally different situation -but sounds the same in that maybe the child's mother is in denial????
I'm with ya sister....
unless you want predispose your child to becoming a ne'er do well, not to mention looking like a girl. Might as well get the mullet for the complete look!
My sister
has PMDD, and she takes Prozac with great success. I believe I just have PMS, but Prozac is not a good drug for me because of the side effect of apathy I get. If you take it and find yourself wading through dirty laundry, you'll know what I mean, LOL. I'm dealing with perimenopause, so I tried a soy-based estrogen-like product. It helped some, but then I changed to one that contained black cohosh. Wow, did I feel great. No PMS at all. Unfortunately, I lost my appetite and have stomach discomfort and dropped a significant amount of weight while taking it.
This site promotes it:
http://www.connecticutcenterforhealth.com/black-cohosh.html
However, I also read a site that said it could cause GI trouble and even a liver condition, so I quit the black cohosh a week or two ago. My appetite and weight are still not improving much. I'm 5ƌ and my weight is fluctuating between 118 and 120 now. I can do physical activity fine, but yet I'm having a feeling of low energy in my chest area and the stomach discomfort continues. I just had a bunch of lab work, which was all normal. Really weird.
Yes, my sister does it, and
it's quite fascinating (and addicting, apparently). She has traveled from AZ to VT and also WI to check headstones. If you go to her Facebook page, she actually has photos of family trees or something - I haven't clicked on them yet. I just saw them today.
My sister does.
I figure I have to go to the grocery store for fresh veg and fruts once a week or so anyway so I just buy what I need. My sister likes to buy in bulk and picks up extra when at a warehouse store and keeps it in the freezer. She says the milk is just fine after. I'm sure we have drank it too and had no idea. She goes through about 5 gallons a week with her family.
PS - about my sister sm
Diagnosed at Thanksgiving, chemo for Christmas, dead by Easter. No symptoms. Don't let it happen to you. I care about you. Give yourself the best holiday gift ever (not to mention the people you would leave behind who love you).
don't you think you sister would want you to
x
Your Sister Would Want You To Have Them
I think she would be pleased that her husband gave them to you. What an incredible act of love. :-)
P.S. My condolences on the loss of your beloved sister. Mine passed away 2 years ago and I still miss her very much.
Right on sister
Well said
My sister....sm
is one of my best friends. Not to say we didn't have to work to get here, because we did, but it was worth it.
Actually it was me and my sister
who joked about writing the whole note (about what an awesome gift) and neither of us minded at all. We just like to try to get laughs.
Of course, I don't know what was going on in everyone's head, but I would think the only people who might have an issue with such a thing is if they didn't know the person (whom the shower was for) very well or something.
My opinion is that it is a silly thing to get hung up on, and I certainly didn't mind it at all!
my sister does hair
and one of her clients bought her a jogging suit that says "i run with scissors!" she thought that was too fun! of course, depends on the personality.
I would never sue my family. We are out the $$ and out my sister.
Maybe I could've forgiven her for putting her hands on me, but now she is 100% lying and saying that didn't happen. This I don't think I can forgive.
I'm done with this and am going to move on. Unfortunately, my family dimensions are different now and that is sad.
Best wishes for your sister's
speedy recovery. Not a nice diagnosis especially at this time of year, but hopefully prayer is the answer. I don't know you, but will think positive for you. I think it is great that you have come here for support, and I think you'll find that the people here will be very supportive. God bless!
I do have a half-sister out there somewhere?
My father was married before he married my Mom, but his ex-wife ran off with his daughter. We have never met her, and he never looked for her! 
AMEN SISTER!!!!
You would think that she cured AIDS by the way people are talking about her. I'm tired of it already. If she was not a celebrity, nobody would give a crap. I never wished bad upon her, but in my estimation, this is no great loss to humanity. I think we will all survive.
My sister and a friend of hers both did it.
After having 2 kids in her 20s, she had her 3rd at around 40. Then she got pregnant again, and miscarried. The miscarriage rate is higher than for younger women. Also, my sister wasn't exercising a lot, and has very loose ligaments anyway, and it was much more uncomfortable to carry a baby. Didn't help that it was a big baby, of course. But that child is 7 now, and she has a great life, just a tad spoiled by her parents who now have more money, and her now-retired grandparents, LOL.
UR right on. My sister got preggers while she was in (sm)
high school. We had a strict, authoritarian father who would NOT have understood, and would've pulled the rug out from under her, even tho she was just a teenager. If a legal preganancy termination (without parental knowledge) had not been available to her, just my father knowing she'd gotten knocked up wouldve ruined her life. He would have kicked her out, and NOT paid for her to go on to college, where she got a master's degree in education, and went on to become an innovative and caring educator. So many other children would've lost out on this wonderful teacher if she did not have the freedom of choice. Instead, she would most likely be working a low-paying job (heh-heh... like OURS!) and barely getting by. Not every personal, medical or moral decision is cut-and-dried & black-and-white, and each individual has to make those types of decisions for THEMSELVES, not be dictated to by an overly vocal, brainwashed, ignorant minority.
They have a sister and they are triplets
Sister! Except I tend to not even
start what I figure I won't finish, LOL. But sleep is one of my (only) 3 hobbies.
I just want to garden and walk my puppies and watch TV and sleep.
Is there any money in putting in gardens for other people when I don't even have a degree in horticulture? Sigh.
Are you my sister? LOL - thanks for the empathy (sm)
Sounds like you can definitely relate!!
My sister and niece
are really cat people, too. They are really funny. My sister used to have one, Luke, a big black cat wearing a texedo, who would every year without fail stalk a wooden Christmas elf we set out, glare at it for a minute or two, then take that giant paw and give a big swipe and knock it to the floor. Every year, same elf, same reaction. What a gem! We laughed til we cried! Thanks again. I am meeting a friend tonight for dinner, and her two cats are the love of her life!
My sister broke hers
when she was little when we were all in a car accident. It took a couple of hours before she started complaining about her arm feeling heavy. Mom was going to the ER to get her ankle x-rayed, which turned out not to be broken, and took my sister along for an x-ray just in case. Yup, it was broken. So yours could be too. All they will probably do is put you in a sling.
One time my sister was
stopped for speeding on the highway. She calmly explained that she only sped up to get away from a pack of cars so she could position herself in an open spot between 2 packs.
He didn't give her a ticket. :o>
my sister's kitty
had a stroke, he was a siamese and was 19 years old.. He unfortunately was not suffering; however, could not walk and had other multiple problems, thus she decided to mercifully put him to sleep. It was painful, but comes a time that you just know it is right... hope your kitty gets better....
I never have, but my sister did. She didn't - sm
have remorse about it because (a) the (ex)-boyfriend that got her pregnant was a creep and she didn't want to be tied to him in this way forever; and (b) in order to stay in school. She had just started college, which our dad, a very strict, authoritarian sort of person with old-fashioned values, was paying for 100%. She knew that without a doubt, if he had found out she'd gotten pregnant (and he was a Catholic - compounding the problem!), that he would have pulled the plug on her college-funding and kicked her out of the house. That would have ruined the rest of her life. As a result of being able to have an AB on-request, and without my parents' knowledge, she was able to finish her education and get a Master's Degree in Education. She went on to become a fine teacher who got all sorts of awards for her innovative teaching ideas. Later, she changed careers and now works in the healthcare industry in the area of aging well. Without her education, she would be working a low-paying job, and possibly even made the mistake of marrying the good-for-nothing boyfriend, just to keep a roof over her head.
Anyway, that's HER story. Everyone's situation, reasons for doing what they do, and feelings about it afterward are different.
Just going through with the birth of the child & putting it up for adoption doesn't necessarily guarantee it a good home, either. Especially if it doesn't happen to be a Caucasian child with no health problems, which is what not all, but most, people want.
Other people have ABs because the remorse they say they would feel for that is less than what they would feel if they actually delivered, and saw, the child, and then had to give it up. Anyway, everything in life has a price, there are always decisions to make. You made the decision you had to make at the time, so I hope that in time your sadness dissipates. If you had to do it over again NOW, then of course you probably wouldn't. But this is now and that was then, so please try not to feel too sad about the past. Now that you do have children, I'd be willing to bet that you're loving them even more, and taking care of them even better, than you might have if you hadn't had to part with your first pregnancy. So in a way, your first child's legacy lives on in the lives you're providing for your existing children now. And that's what matters most in the end.
I forwarded this to my sister.
She has done pottery before. I'll post any reply she sends me.
Does anyone else HATE their sister like I do? nm
.
Full of Joy Sister Cat!!!
Thanks Dahling!!
Oops, that was my sister's elf! Let's try this again.
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1171111501
You'd think she'd learn from seeing all her sister is going through - NM
NM
My sister and I still laugh over it too - sm
Dad was a very smart man. Kind and always fair.
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