Talk to niece not your sister
Posted By: Been there on 2007-07-11
In Reply to: need advice... - Concerned Aunt
Make this an oppotunity to bond with your niece. Don't tell her who told you, just talk to her alone and in a nonconfronting manner. Her sexuality is none of anyones business, teens have sex its been happening for 100s of years. She needs to know you are concerned about her health (pregnancy happens and lives change and things usually work out okay, but STDs can kill and infect more than just her. Offer to take her to a clinic to get tested and encourage that if she is going to be active then she needs to be on birth control plus a barrier method for her safety and her partners' safety. I would also talk to her about the drinking any other substance use that , may be going on. Offer her your ear to listen to her need to fit in, which is probably what is going on. She will hate you if you go to her mom,try talking to your niece first. See if she wants to go out for some girl time, shopping at the mall and out to lunch or something. Car rides are a great opportunity to talk and bond with nieces, daughters, etc..., and she can't storm out of the car if she gets upset.
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- Talk to niece not your sister - Been there
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My sister and niece
are really cat people, too. They are really funny. My sister used to have one, Luke, a big black cat wearing a texedo, who would every year without fail stalk a wooden Christmas elf we set out, glare at it for a minute or two, then take that giant paw and give a big swipe and knock it to the floor. Every year, same elf, same reaction. What a gem! We laughed til we cried! Thanks again. I am meeting a friend tonight for dinner, and her two cats are the love of her life!
Talk to your sister - ASAP
Depending on what kind of relationship you have with your sister, you may have to be careful what you say (you don't want to give her any reason to think you are criticizing her as a parent). But TALK to her, and soon. Your niece is a minor and is engaging in behaviors that are dangerous and irresponsible.
Yes, your niece may be angry with you, but if intervening in this situation saves her life, won't it be worth it? When your niece gets a little older and wiser, she may thank you for this (but don't hold your breath).
You are NOT interfering. You are trying to save the life of a minor child who is making bad life decisions. These days, both alcohol and sex can kill.
Good luck, and please keep us posted on what happens.
Funny - I call my mother "Ma" now but when I talk to my sister (sm)
we refer to her as "Mommy". Does anyone else do this, or are we just weird? 
Okay, my sister and I are doing Thanksgiving this year and since my sister can't cook, that means
I'm doing the cooking. My sister gets equal billing cause we're doing it at her house. :) Soooo, I'm looking for some vegetable ideas. I am about sick of green bean casserole! Does anyone have any really tasty recipes for vegetables side? Any kind of vegetables. I'm looking for something different and fabulous.
I had a corn casserole at one potluck I went to, but never got the recipe. Anybody got a good corn recipe?
Thanks Ladies!
Did ya ever just wanna talk about nuthin' just to talk?
As I said before in another post, I miss everyone so much...
So, I have absolutely NOTHING to talk about. Love my new job, love that spring is on the way, and I love that my belly is absolutely filled up with pancakes my husband kindly made for me just now...even though it's lunchtime and not breakfast. I'm one of those freaks that could eat breakfast-type foods at every meal.
...and that reminds me that it's almost that time of year to order some baby chicks for next month. Laying hens, not for meat or anything, just eggs and entertainment. I can't wait for warm weather--it's been a long HARSH winter this year. In fact, I think we're due for another ice storm at the end of the week.
I hope everyone who stops by to read my note about nothing finds themselves and their families in good health. Miss you all, even the ones that can't stand seeing that "Hayseed" name up there.
niece
Oh yeah, she may be mad at you now but just look at it this way in the future she will look back and be very thankful that you stepped in! Don't let yourself be talked into not mentioning it and keeping quite. This could end up being her life you are talking about here!
One niece was an MT
for a physical therapy place until it went out of business. She was making a lot of money but only knows physical therapy stuff. Two other nieces have talked to me about it, but one is not motivated enough to work at home unsupervised. The other niece recently had to quit her job in graphic design to stay home with her 1 year old son who has been diagnosed with juvenile diabetes.
I wish my niece could know you
She needs to develop a backbone and realize there is life after a "control freak", abusive, alcoholic, drug dependent jerk!!!! You go, girl - so glad you found a millionaire - Does he have a brother between 48-55? I never know when my circumstances may change. Love my husband, but you never know - he's lots older than me - I have to be prepared, ya know? Next time, I want nice, fun and definitely rich, so I can do this job only if I want to, not to pay the bills.
my niece
You can tell them not to be like my niece who is going to be 14 in about a week. She is a young lady now. She does not bathe, brush her hair, wear deodorant, or brush her teeth. She has now gotten over 13 cavities and will be spending the next sets of mondays at the dentist getting teeth fixed. She also has terrible gum disease. I have tried talks but she is not my child. She does not live with me so it is hard for her to listen to her mother. Her mother really isn't much better. Instead of washing clothes, when she was younger, she would just take her to a thrift store and buy whatever they had. Tight clothes, too small, too big or whatever. Tell them they don't want to be the stinky kid with dirty clothes, hair, teeth that are crusty and bleeding, with clothes on like that. We now call it "don't be a morgan" to my 12 year old who does not want to brush his teeth or retainer, mostly because he does not rinse the retainer off enough and it tastes funny. HA.
your niece
What a GORGEOUS baby!!
You certainly are blessed, and your sister is blessed to have a sister as kind-hearted as you to have come stay with her!
Merry, merry Christmas!
My niece
the love of my life! doing this right here! holding her as much as I can!!!
PS i understand about your cat though... before i moved closer to be with my niece, my dogs would always make me happy
Need advice on niece
My sister has a daughter, 7, with some behavioral and speech problems. In school today the teacher asked her to "hurry up" and my niece grumbled and gave a look. Apparently, on the bus she told her classmates that she was going to "put a bomb in Miss _____'s milk." Those students in turn told the teacher. Teacher responded by telling niece it was inappropriate and that she was spending time with the principal tomorrow. My sister is at a loss on how to approach my niece about this. She is kinda of jaded when it comes to this particular daughter, thinking she's just fine, but this niece has always been violent. How should she approach her daughter (in 1st grade) in this situation?
TIA!
How often do you see your niece/nephews
My brother-in-law and sister-in-law moved back to this state recently after being gone for many years. They have 2 teenagers. All 4 are living with grandparents right now, most probably indefinitely but that's a whole other story. My question is how often do your niece/nephews spend the night at your house? Mine are also out of state so it is hard to say what it would be from that side. I just feel like after having little family here for so many years I am now on family overload. These kids want to stay and be with us all the time. Granted, I understand they have no friends bc they aren't in school yet and they like us more than gma/gpa and their own parents but I rarely say no bc I don't want to be the bad guy but I like my piece and quiet! and of course I like less mess to clean up. not to mention teenagers are expensive. So what's the average out there? Once, twice a month?
My niece recomended something to me that
WORKS AND IMMEDIATELY!!!!! She told me last year and I kept using other things and a few weeks ago bought it and she nailed it!!!
GOLD BOND! 
I got the Medicated, but my sister got regular and she says the same thing. THIS STUFF WORKS. The medicated is wonderful because it instantly cools the skin and NO MORE ITCH. It is menthol, and therefore would not use it on face or around the eyes, but it has STOPPED the unrelenting itch of legs and arms for me!
My niece died from
obstructive sleep apnea at 37. I did not see at my father's funeral. I was not called when she died. My brother's wife called my first cousin and he passed the news on to his mother (my maternal aunt) and maternal aunt called me. I had no idea (being as my brother did not speak nor want me in their lives) that the niece had gone thru so much. My aunt and I went to the funeral home and funeral and the mother told me about what kind of life she had, drugs, alcohol, prison - yes prison. No one ever told me and this was about 3 times she was in prison. I never knew anything about these kids coming up. The mother told me the niece did not have insurance, could not afford CPAP. I would have bought that had I known but like I said, brother made the decision to NOT have me around and I went along with his wants. The only heirs would be my brother's children, not his wife, not ever. I am sorry you do not tend to understand this but this is the case. In the years since 1973 no one from that family called until nephew in jail in maybe 1986 or 1987. I never heard my name called by Aunt on the first part of it. Only sibling I had. I have complete peace of mind and sleep like a baby. After my brother died with his children being 4 and 6, his wife could have reached out to me then, did not happen. All water under the bridge, long time ago.
Oh and the model is my niece....sm
But she is like my own. I have kept her a lot since she was 5 weeks old. Sis-in-law is single and when she would date I would keep her. The child's dad is a loser. He walked away when sis-in-law got pregnant and hasn't seen Addie since she was an infant and doesn't want to even though he lives a few miles away. So I say she is better off without him.
Praying for your niece and family....
Lost my dad to this a year ago, about 5 years after being diagnosed. Blessings and strength to your family.
RE: Thanks everyone for your replies. I have forwarded them on to my niece who is the one (sm)
who had the positive test. She is only 21 and this is her first pregnancy. All your replies are greatly appreciated!! Thank you!
I'm sorry to hear about your niece, Lilly
I'll keep her in my prayers.
It is totally ridiculous, my niece just went to hers
and got her dress and all the accessories at David's Bridal, it was more like 500.00 or so. That's not including the extra cash she needed to go out afterwards to *Friday's*. They are 14 years old! AND then they expect these Sweet 16 parties? LOL Well, if the parents do it, they're to blame. I don't really know if it's actually for the kid or just to *keep up with the Joneses* or to try to impress or what it is but it is getting out of hand now. We had none of that stuff growing up. I think our parents were smarter than that and didn't put themselves in DEEP DEBT with credit cards etc. So at least we'll be getting inheritances. These kids will be crying down the road that their parents spent theirs! Oh well ;) LOL
That's what I told Lisa, my niece. She was in
disbelief. What really hurts is that her little girl was with her, and there is nothing in the world more important to her little girl than her "kitties." She carries them around and surrounds them with stuffed animals and is turning into a wonderful pet person. I am just so happy about that! I don't always approve of kids having pets, especially when very, very young. My niece waited until her daughter was of the age and understanding of respecting them until they went to the shelter, then back later for a second one after her little one kept asking for another! What a happy home for the cats! They found the pot at the end of the rainbow with the two of them! LOL!!! 
I agree with you on that. I saw it for myself when my niece married. SM
Her husband's sister just automatically developed an additude toward my niece, who is very quiet and very nice and could not be a better wife and mother. The sister was actually jealous of my niece and actually made comments about how no one would have ever been good enough for her "Joey." My niece was good to his family whenever they visited (they lived out of state) but finally told her husband that she would prefer to stay at his mom's house when they visited, even though the house was smaller. She was tired of the cold shoulder she got at ther sister's house. I saw it with my own eyes. It truly can happen for no reason whatsoever. The rest of the family loves my niece.
niece and restaurant -- are those right? can't get 'em
just hate that. i've added those to my Expander so they correct themselves... i know there's more ...
Go try it, talk, talk and listen sm
Counselors are trained to "listen" and direct you to talk (not them). I have transcribed many, many mental health reports. They do dig deep and keep it going for a very long time, very long, usually (perhaps not for you). But if you both don't tell the truth, you are wasting your money, so why not just get it all out on the table and get it over with and get on with your lives? Don't pussy foot around, get it all out and deal with it. Gosh, life is too short to put on a show, it's not a dress rehearsal, it's life. Go forward, forgive, forget and forge ahead. Don't need a degree for that!! But a little help can't hurt. Might help.
My 13 y.o. niece has just been dx with Grave's disease. Does anyone here have any info or sm
advice on what I can tell my brother about this? They are such a precious family. Brother visibly upset over this because he has been disciplining her for behavioral problems, etc., when all along it's been here thyroid. They want to do radiation right away to help shrink it? Or possibly remove thyroid altogether. She is so pretty. I spent the summer with them and yes, she did act diff. from other 13 year olds, looked very developed for her age (to me), and her eyes weren't bulging to me. I'm so glad they caught it today. It sounded like she was in the early stages of shock with fever, shakiness, etc.
Anyone with experience in this? Thank you so much.
Lucky you! My niece has a red Australian Cattle Dog
and she is adorable. Name is Reggie. She was taught to ring a bell when she needed to go out and learned to do so in 2 days! She herds everyone when they are in the pool and my niece must actually stop her or she gets blisters on her little feet and is worn out! They are incredible. I know some people refer to them as Heelers as well, maybe the same thing or maybe a tad different. In any event, what a great dog!!
I am in Bluefield, VA. My niece is in her first year at Marshall. nm
!
That is so cute! My niece's little girl cracks me up, too. She
just painted a picture for me that she has been working on for quite some time. I went over on Saturday night and she had me close my eyes for the unveiling. It is adorable. She made a yellow background because she knows it is my favorite color. They are so precious, aren't they?
She is gorgeous, and a twin to my niece's beautiful cat, Nina! NM
XX
Niece died with sleep apnea, husband has
I know how dangerous- the niece was 39. Hubs also wears the mask every single night. He and I both know well about this. He has a brother who absolutely needs, had wreck driving in the daytime, somnolent but cannot tell some people.
Good grief, we didn't even go to either of my niece's graduations
and they both live here in our town. We love them both dearly and are very close to them but they both said it didn't bother them. They go to different high schools and there is limited seating at one of them. Each graduate only gets 7 tickets and after parents, grandparents, and siblings we really couldn't go. We did go their grad parties and they were more excited about what was in their card anyway. LOL Your husband needs to let his sister know that he plans to have a vacation with his entire family, so it is either go see them a week later, or go wherever you choose.
Just bought Jonas Brothers Tickets for 12 yo niece
Her and 2 of her friends. Should be interesting. LOL. Don't forget Bobby Sherman in that group.
The bell is a great idea! My niece's cattle dog learned to SM
ring the bell in 2 days and has done it ever since. It is adorable. If no one lets her out right away she looks around and takes that leg and swings it and hits it the second time. It is a wonderful idea.
I have been asked to handle the bridal shower for my niece's wedding and I need ideas!
My niece is 18 and getting married very young, but not getting married because she "has" to, if you know what I mean. However, the maid of honor is my other niece who is 17 and not in a position to plan and pay for a bridal shower and so I've been asked to plan and then co-host the shower with my neice, the maid of honor for my niece, the bride. Confused yet?
And the wedding is in August! So I need to decide on a theme, location, and get invitations out by July. I want to do something unique and fun, but right now I can't seem to work up a unique idea to save my life! Help!
My niece had a Yorkie, the love of her life! We all loved her so. Lots of love in store for you.
XX
My sister did
My sister changed her OB in the last 2 weeks, but it was because she moved. She had an appointment to see an OB in her new town, went in and took her records, did some paperwork. Then, she went into labor the day before her appointment was scheduled. So, she met her new doctor in labor and delivery.
But, it was her 4th baby and the first 2 were born in military hospitals, so she was up for anything.
How are you supposed to contact your OB if you go into labor if they don't have an answering service? This is very strange.
My sister-in-law comes
About every 3 weeks and does a good cleaning. 2 bathrooms, 1 bedroom, kitchen and living room. I pay her $40/visit. Hubby's bathroom can get quite bad, so she gets a $5 or $10 tip if it's worse than reasonable. Then I just run a vacuum and keep the dishwasher and laundry caught up between.
I hate housecleaning and she needs the money, so it works out for us.
My sister is one
Had to break any ties with her 8 years ago. She recently contacted me and still does not understand while I will not speak to her. She is upset that she has missed my children growing up. But they are the reason I finally broke ties with her. She was bringing too much trouble and grief to my family and saying inappropriate things about our mother to them. She is 53 and still is fixated on all the wrongs done to her when she was 5. I finally said enough is enough. Have never been happier.
My sister and I both used it
I had good results initially, but then not so much. I didn't feel it was worth the money. My sister had fantastic results and it even faded a lot of her scarring on her chin and jawline.
My sister says it does (sm)
She lost about 40 pounds recently and says Hoodia helped her a lot. In fact her doctor told her to continue taking it. She has diabetes and is very overweight. I am trying to lose too! I have used hoodia before but didn't think it helped much. I just started taking Cordyceps mushroom capsules and am going to try Curvelle as soon as I can find it available somewhere. Good luck to you!
My sister . . .
made her hungry all the time, bloated and gained 10 pounds. Other than that she feels way better.
me ex-sister-in-law
totally different situation -but sounds the same in that maybe the child's mother is in denial????
I'm with ya sister....
unless you want predispose your child to becoming a ne'er do well, not to mention looking like a girl. Might as well get the mullet for the complete look!
My sister
has PMDD, and she takes Prozac with great success. I believe I just have PMS, but Prozac is not a good drug for me because of the side effect of apathy I get. If you take it and find yourself wading through dirty laundry, you'll know what I mean, LOL. I'm dealing with perimenopause, so I tried a soy-based estrogen-like product. It helped some, but then I changed to one that contained black cohosh. Wow, did I feel great. No PMS at all. Unfortunately, I lost my appetite and have stomach discomfort and dropped a significant amount of weight while taking it.
This site promotes it:
http://www.connecticutcenterforhealth.com/black-cohosh.html
However, I also read a site that said it could cause GI trouble and even a liver condition, so I quit the black cohosh a week or two ago. My appetite and weight are still not improving much. I'm 5ƌ and my weight is fluctuating between 118 and 120 now. I can do physical activity fine, but yet I'm having a feeling of low energy in my chest area and the stomach discomfort continues. I just had a bunch of lab work, which was all normal. Really weird.
Yes, my sister does it, and
it's quite fascinating (and addicting, apparently). She has traveled from AZ to VT and also WI to check headstones. If you go to her Facebook page, she actually has photos of family trees or something - I haven't clicked on them yet. I just saw them today.
My sister does.
I figure I have to go to the grocery store for fresh veg and fruts once a week or so anyway so I just buy what I need. My sister likes to buy in bulk and picks up extra when at a warehouse store and keeps it in the freezer. She says the milk is just fine after. I'm sure we have drank it too and had no idea. She goes through about 5 gallons a week with her family.
PS - about my sister sm
Diagnosed at Thanksgiving, chemo for Christmas, dead by Easter. No symptoms. Don't let it happen to you. I care about you. Give yourself the best holiday gift ever (not to mention the people you would leave behind who love you).
don't you think you sister would want you to
x
Your Sister Would Want You To Have Them
I think she would be pleased that her husband gave them to you. What an incredible act of love. :-)
P.S. My condolences on the loss of your beloved sister. Mine passed away 2 years ago and I still miss her very much.
Right on sister
Well said
My sister....sm
is one of my best friends. Not to say we didn't have to work to get here, because we did, but it was worth it.
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