THIS reminds me of a joke, I know I should post it
Posted By: () on 2009-06-11
In Reply to: Or when standing at the scale, say, "After you!" - An Iowan
on the Comedy Board, but it fits in here. I apologize already now if sb is offended, but I don't think so. Here it comes.....
A man goes to church and wants to confess. He approaches the confessional and kneels down. The priest opens the little window and the man says, 'You first.'
LMAO!
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your post reminds me of the Jim Carey movie
Your post reminds me of all the reasons I love working from home.
Merry Christmas to you also!
This is NOT a joke. I do not joke like this. See this link sl
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=492533&in_page_id=1770&ct=5
it's a joke . . .
go to votefortheworse.com
It's not a joke.
Warning....!!!!
Just last weekend on Friday night we parked in a public parking area. As we drove away I noticed a sticker on the rear window of the car. When I took it off after I got home, it was a receipt for gas. Luckily my friend told me not to stop as it could be someone waiting for me to get out of the car. Then we received this email yesterday:
'WARNING FROM POLICE - BEWARE OF PAPER ON THE BACK WINDOW OF YOUR VEHICLE--NEW WAY TO DO CARJACKINGS (NOT A JOKE)'
Heads up everyone! Please, keep this circulating... You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. You start the engine and shift into Reverse. When you look into the rearview mirror to back out of your parking space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the m iddle of the rear window. So, you shift into Park, unlock your doors, and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view. When you reach the back of your car, that is when the carjackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off. They practically mow you down as they speed off in your car. And guess what, ladies? I bet your purse is still in the car. So now the carjacker has your car, your home address, your money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are now compromised!
BEWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED.
If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, just drive away. Remove the paper later. And be thankful that you read this e-mail. I hope you will forward this to friends and family, especially to women. A purse contains all kinds of personal information and identification documents, and you certainly do NOT want this to fall into the wrong hands.
Please keep this going
Hopefully this is a joke...sm
You would think the wire/string would get caught in the lower eyelashes. If you watch the video, the model never moves her eyes side to side.
It was a joke. nm
mpff
No Joke
There was a couple on one of the talk shows that did it. In fact, the person who first started it was a minister. I think maybe he wrote a book about it? He's been on the talk show circuit as well. (This was a few months ago)
Yes, I know, it was a joke. But
I cannot miss to notice that in EVERY joke Mr. Tech Support posts the 'macho- man' comes through!
where is the joke?...........nm
nm
where is the joke?..........nm
nm
EXCELLENT joke! *LOL*.........
This is a joke, right? Your son LIVES with her,
and you wonder about any of this? Give me a break! If the coach were God Himself, that would be no excuse to hand over your mothering duties and your son to someone else, let alone someone you think is a B. Give me a break. What is wrong with you?
Sanjaya is a JOKE. First of all,
he CANNOT SING; and if he thinks he can, he needs a reality check. He should have to sit and listen to himself like we all have to week after week. ICK.
It is just is not fair to the other contests to keep voting for him and losing better singers (not saying Brandon is great, but he is, was, much better than Sanny Boy.
If he wins this thing, which I doubt, it would be the END OF IDOL. I surely would not watch it ever again. This show is turning out to something other than a SINGING contest as Simon and the others have said over and over and over.
Why are there 3 judges anyway? AMERICA should not be allowed to vote, if this kind of c*** is going to continue. They need to put a stop to it. BUT they are raking in the ratings and the $$$$ so they probably really do not care.
vote is a joke
There is a web site set up, which I am sure most of you know about, that encourages voters to vote for certain singers, (the worst) Sanjaya happening to be the one the last couple weeks. I know the same thing pretty much happened with a couple of singers last year, they were mentioned on the web site and for several weeks, although they were terrible, they were not even in the bottom 3.
NO! And, like he is better than Melinda? lol What a joke.
Poor Melinda, I seriously think she was in shock, like the rest of us.
Don't even know a joke when you hear one. Wow!
nm
Yeah, I know. It was just a joke.
See what I did there - I substituted nits for ticks.
:oD
I thought this was a joke when it first came on! LOL...nm
s
There is nothing on the news. Is this a bad joke?
nm
Yes, it will be taxable. What a joke, huh????
xx
perhaps she should offshore. joke, NM
.
Tell us where you work! Please! no joke.
nm
Okay, this has got to be a joke to get us all going today
That is called trolling and/or spamming.
The first post from the OP sounds like a depressed person... who needs help. The second post from the OP sounds like a completely different person (different inflections etc) making up some sort of soap opera. So, if you are real, and yanking our chain, not funny. If you are real and both stories are true, call 911 or a counselor ASAP, or at the very least take a day off and you have our sympathies. Most of all if you are trolling, shame on me for letting you waste my time! Oh yes, and by the way, have a nice day. :)
I used to joke that my 1st daughter - sm
didn't even know she had a dad until my 2nd daughter was born, then he had no choice but to help out some. I think he changed maybe 5 diapers in the 5 years I had kids in diapers. I don't think he ever fed them once either. With my first daughter he did take one night a week to feed her in the middle of the night and to deal with whatever came up to give me a break. He was working full-time and I was a SAHM so that was the justification there. He would come home from work and I would often fall asleep on the couch with my daughter tucked beside me while he made dinner. He did all the cooking then at least, though I dealt with the baby food and formula, etc. With my 2nd daughter he never took a night with her as at six-weeks she started to sleep through the night, so he got out of his 1-night of night duty. I did not start doing MT until my 2nd daughter was almost 2, but still did it all, except cooking dinner (I still had to clean up the mess). So most guys get off easy I think. I never had heartburn before I got pregnant, or hemorrhoids, oh the joys of motherhood! Now that they are older he does take them to the movies or skating now to give me "time to work" in quiet, joy, granted I usually goof off a while when he does this, need to take a break sometime!
My husband and I joke that if we had...
waited until we were ready to have children, we never would have had any. (We are now expecting our second.) I think that we are just blessed to be so darned fertile! My point being that I was never going to have children and I never would have felt ready for the first one, but our blessing and surprise came anyway. I would not trade him for the world. The second one, with whom I am pregnant now, was not so much a mistake as a lack in diligence in the birth control area. The timing is bad. The baby is good. I did eventually want another--but not one to be born while my husband is deployed. I guess God had different ideas for us. However, my husband is right. If we waited around for the right time, we would never have had the first, let alone the second. You might find that you are more ready than you think! Good luck!
That's a joke, right? I do not think people are really doing this....nm
nm
Even if there was some "inside" joke there
--
I think it was a joke. Lighten up!
x
hah, that reminds me of when
i was a youngster and after washing my hands in my grandma's bathroom, put on 'lotion' and could't get it to rub in!! I complained to her it wouldn't absorb, only to find out it was a soap -- never had seen soap in a bottle!! before...
Reminds me of my mam-maw
she used this for anything but I never knew was good for that. You can use this for sores in your mouth as well as sores on your knee. I have some so now will try for these chapped lips. Thanks, should have known.
Reminds me of DH's tan...sm
He was so proud, he thought he was "tanned under the sunburn" until he took a shower - he said "I think my tan's washing off." When I asked him what sunscreen he had used, I realized he had used my self-tanning lotion instead!
Reminds me of this one....lol
"CHEATING" by Sara Evans
You say your every day is a bad dream that keeps repeating.
Maybe you should have thought about that when you were cheating.
How do you like that furnished room, the bed, the chair, the table
The TV picture comes and goes, too bad you don't have cable
How do you like that paper plate and those pork 'n' beans you are eating.
Maybe you should have thought about that, when you were cheating.
How do you like that beat up car, I think its fair we traded
Your pickup truck is running fine, it's cozy ride for dating.
Yes, I've been out a time or two, and found the comfort I've been needing.
Maybe you should have thought about that, when you were cheating.
You made your bed, and your out of mine, you lie awake and I sleep just fine.
You've done your sowin', now you can do the reaping.
Maybe you should have thought about that, when you were cheating.
Now what became of what's-her-name, after she spent all of your money and had all your time. Did she leave you just like you left me, well, sometimes life is funny.
But no, I won't be glad to take you back, as if all is fine and dandy.
Maybe you should have thought about that, when you were cheating.
Reminds me ....
My son and I were singing along with Elton John's song - Tiny Dancer - to which he asks me who is singing. Then he wanted to know why Elton was singing about Tony Danza!
Hold me closer Tony Danza............. I laughed till I cried!
OMG, that reminds me
of my most embarrassing confession- I LOVE popping zits/blackheads (but only my own). The more gunk that comes out the better. When I get a really good one I will spend 20 minutes searching to try to find another one. I know it sounds totally gross but it is so strangely satisfying.
reminds me of me when I was little!
LOL
That reminds me of my DH! . .
We have a small hobby farm and he works on it before/after work and on weekends. He would hate life if all he did was work and come home. I hate it when it is rainy or the weather is bad because he just sits in the house and complains about how there isn't anything to do (like a little kid!). Sometimes it makes me feel like he hates to spend time with me, but I figure he is just happiest taking care of his tractor and animals and whatever else he does out there. It must be a guy thing. He always says he needs to get a hobby that doesn't involve work. I have been trying to get involved with the farming stuff, so I can do things outside with him. He said he will help build me a chicken house so I can get some chickens this spring. He said he will help me get the garden going too. I guess I just need to meet him halfway and be more involved. Good luck to you!
this reminds me of what I went through
in the 80's with 4. One teacher kept sending me a note that Rob needed a box of Kleenex and I fussed at him, "how much Kleenex are you using?". He had said so far. I called the teacher and said I was going to send the same roll of toilet paper we were having to use at home. She told me it was for the kids whose parents did not have money for these things and I told her, "guess what, I am one of those parents. I'm a widow with 4 kids". I never got asked for anything again. I thought I would choke on school supplies and extras the teachers liked such as Weekly Reader (in Texas, all school books are free, but that does not include Weekly Reader). There was the added pressure of each class getting a pizza party for 100% compliance. I wonder what they are going to do now with all the health food concerns, LOL.
Ugh. Reminds me of (sm)
I remember dating this very handsome eligible batchelor when I was in my early 20s. He had his own apartment and a good job. He proudly told me about the fancy set of pots and pans he'd bought, so that was one thing he'd already have when he got married. I don't even care about cooking, but I didn't like the idea of the male picking out stuff for his future wife. I'm sure he made somebody a great husband, but it's funny how that conversation set off alarm bells for me.
My husband also bought a car without talking to me about it while we were engaged, and I was quite shocked. It did say something about his attitude about money and purchases, and I should have listened to those warning bells too.
LOL - that reminds me of the other day when
my 7 year old son came home from school. He asked me did I know that kids used to not speak unless spoken too. I told him what a wonderful concept that was that we've lost over the years. He just looked at me horrified. His expression was priceless! :)
This reminds me of....
the many conversations I would find myself having inside my head right BEFORE I was able to make my decisive move. Pardon me for saying, but this looks like projection on your part, especially the part that has to do with your concrete conviction that she wants to stay. It is apparent that she does not, only that she is trying to find her way out. Your rhetoric has a sense of panic and desperation about it that I believe has very little to do with anon, but rather are vestiges of your own past experience with this. In fact, it sounds like you have PTSD that has been triggered. If you want to be helpful, take a deep breath, count to 10 and try dialing it back a bit.
That reminds me of when my
grandfather died. We took my then 8-year-old to the viewing and after everyone had gone through and the family was allowed some private time, he asked if he could go up to say his goodbyes (we had explained the funeral process to him beforehand).
Well, he went up beside my grandma (she was just mentally and physically exhausted from the months caring for him leading up to his death and the funeral arrangements), and my 8-year-old, having never been to a funeral before, asked if he could touch Pap. Grandma said it was okay and he touched his hand first and told grandma it was cold and he needed covered up. I thought my grandma would lose it at that point and had gone up to bring my son back to sit down. Well, she told him it was okay to touch him and say good bye. So he went up and patted his head. He had never touched my Pap's head before and I guess he was curious. My Pap was not very affectionate -- ex-Marine, retired corrections officer -- you get the picutre. I guess my son thought this was his chance, and so he just kept patting his head like a dog. About that point, my gram lost it and said to my 8-year-old, if you don't stop playing with your Pap's head, he's going to jump up out of that coffin after you. My 8-year-old's eyes got as big as golf balls and he came back quick to his seat. My gram couldn't help laughing. She said it was the funniest thing and it never occurred to her that he would actually believe that his Pap could get out of that coffin. Now, when anyone brings up my Pap's passing, my gram tells that story and can't help laughing. It was a much needed way to break the tension my gram was experiencing.
This reminds me
Anyone know how to get rid of blackheads? I have always had very dry skin, so I try not to overwash; but the last few years I have gotten so many blackheads!! I guess I must be more oily on the nose and cheek bones than I realize.
I don't think it helps when using sunscreen (even though they say they don't cause them).
That reminds me...
Years ago, I typed for a hospital who had a GYN resident who refused to participate in abortions. The attending respected her wishes, but she still had to dictate them, even though she had to make note in every procedure that she was not present.
I had to admire her for sticking to her guns, but it didn't get her out of the paperwork!
underpaid teachers - what a joke!
I agree that teachers have all this extra work they have to do in their own time, but don't forget about all the paid time off they demanded; spring break, Christmas break, plus the fact that they get most of the summertime off with pay. I think that more than makes up for the extra time they have to put in while school is in session. I have a friend who is in the highest paying school district in Ohio and upon retirement, he and his wife will both be making 80K plus on their pensions. What's so god awful about that!!!!! Winning 10K may not be so great either by the time they pay taxes on it and add it to their income, possibly kicking them into a higher tax bracket. That can be considered a good or bad winning.
Jay Leno started the joke of how she looks like....
Shrek! She does have a beautiful spirit, though, so hopefully that won't hurt her down the road.
I was totally making a joke, Just having a little fun!
I love my kids as well as my furkids, but believe me, they are not genuises!
What is your best April Fools joke?
I told my Hubby I was expecting. Everyone at work was telling me how great it was. Finally I told them Look Folks !!!! It's April Fools Day!!!!!
oh geez - get a life! it was a joke
Sugar Mama joke?
I am just about 4 months single now and recently started dating a guy - was looking for someone with a good heart, compassionate, etc. He seems to fit that bill. He has some financial worries but money is not something I am looking for. I work very hard and get some money from my ex husband, child support, etc. I paid a couple of times when we went out because I have no problem with that if it is my idea to go somewhere and he says up front he doesn't have the money to go. But today he called and I said I had to work because in my profession if I'm not working, I'm not making money, and he said, "yeah, I can't have a sugar mama who is not making any money so you better get back to work." I said in a mad voice, "You can't have a sugar mama either way!!!" He laughed and we hung up. A few min later he called back and I didn't answer, and he left a message saying he hoped I knew he was joking. But I am a single mother and to me that type of joke has a grain of truth to it. I feel like a mama bear - I am furious. I have accepted his health issues, his ED issues, etc., but I am just plain furious about that joke. Do you think I am making to much of it or do you think my instincts are correct?
To joke about your mother having dementia
was that the joke part? Sorry, I still don’t get joking about being put in an institution and having dementia. I never would joke about something like that. I guess it takes all kinds though.
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