THANKS -- great article -- loving your responses ! n/m
Posted By: young vs. older on 2009-03-09
In Reply to: Thank you for this great post!....nm - Jan
n
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Loving these positive responses. Feeling much better about it now!
nm
All the above are why my loving
furkids stay inside. I have a bird feeder right outside my work window and they are welcome to come and look at the birds which they do but I love my feathered friends as well. I have this unsociable furcat next door who had the nerve to come in my yard trying to catch birds. I chase it off, folks here not supposed to let their animals run around anyway.
you are loving her
You are loving her by stepping back and making her stand on her own two feet. Loving someone does not mean enabling them to hurt themselves. Loving your child means pushing them out of the nest and letting them learn on their own. If you keep enabling her you will not be loving her as much as if you push her out. Praying for you....
Jan
loving pet
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved pet. I'm glad you enjoyed his company and love for many years. This is the caveat of having our loving pets - it's so difficult to lose them. We will join with all of them one day, when it is our time...how could we not. They provide us with so much love and good company.
Pit bull or not he is a loving dog ...sm
who has never attacked and I honestly with all my heart know he would never hurt me. I believe in all honesty he would die to protect me to make sure I wasn't harmed if that is what it took. I know some pits have attacked owners and I believe these were either unstable dogs or abused or provoked. My dog has a respect for me also. He knows I am the boss and when I take a firm tone and let him know I am not happy with him he just bows his head and lays down. I didn't set out to own a pit bull he kind of fell into my lap you could say and I fell in love with him and he with me. I rocked him as a baby and nurtured him and he loves me with everything in him and I love him the same. My ownership of him just happened unexpectedly and I am so grateful it did. When I am sad he licks my tears and is so loving. I know other breeds are capable of this but CJ just happens to be a pitbull. I dont care. His breed is not important. It is the love in his heart. What is inside him. I don't judge a dog for what they are but who they are.
How to compete with a loving doting MIL.
I am jealous of MIL and Dh relationship. There, I admitted it. It was a huge red flag when we were dating but I ignored it. To start at the beginning I was jeolous. I wished now I would have listed but I didn’t I married him. Lived here in an appointment but he really considered his home with mommy who was 88 miles away. He would go every weekend leaving me here alone. I thought well, he is not married to me or anything I guess he is taking care of responsibility. He seemed obsessed on the family farm (70 acres) and getting that started. He and his mommy were working side by side to get “the place” fixed up. Occasionally, his friend and his wife would invite them camping so he and mommy would take a break with his buddies and camp. Not so intelligent me was sitting at home, alone thinking one of these days he will figure out what a wonderful person I am and he won’t have to cling to mommy so much. Boy was I ever wrong. He took my virginity and that made me want to cling to him tighter. I shamelessly chased him. Finally I told him that if he wasn’t going to marry me, I was leaving. He said okay, lets do it. Well we had a rush engagement. DH hated the idea of a wedding he had already been through that once. (This was his second marriage). He was not very cooperative and kind of rude but I did get my wedding. At some points in our courtship I thought it was sweet how he doted on his mommy I just wished I saw how dysfunctional it really was. I think my first clue should have been when he was late for our second date because mommy called him bawling because she and her brother got into a fight.
Anyway, it was so hard to keep MIL out of our business. MIL balanced our check books, dh would take me and MIL out of a drive, all outings included MIL. I told him that I think we should be taking care of our financial bus and dh said “no, mom knows how to do it and besides if I take that from her she won’t feel wanted. “ I asked, who did you marry, me or mommy. Well MIL is not in our finances anymore. She did used to go through our mail. I asked her if she was going to be a meddling MIL and she got mad and told DH and dh jumped my butt saying she is only trying to help and a few cuss words. (when the cussing started, I turned out). MIL was upset and she was going to take us to court. I guess she thinks she has rights to his money just like a wife would or more so. They did have bank accounts together, cc together.
Any, I cannot write a book. Just a long story short, I try to put up boundaries and I am the villain. MIL is not a meddler, she is trying to help, she is only being a loving, doting, graaaadmommeeee. To get along, I try to think of her as a break from the kids but the way she interacts with my children sends chills down my spine. First she would say that is her baby, she didn’t want her baby doing this or that. She did not want her baby to get sick so I couldn’t take her outside. She wants to sleep in their room so she can take care of them, she would take my oldest dd in another room and shut the door and undress. She wanted to take her to the public restroom, (It is like she thinks, DH child is her responsibility, I am just womb donor. It was driving me stir crazy. She and dh would buddy up on our outings and leave me feeling like a third wheel. And with DD, it was like she, DH and my child were just one big happy family. Gag. One time dh ask her if she wanted another baby, she said “I love babies.” GAG. Bad part is my oldest dd loves her. She wanted MIL to take her to school this morning, not me. She is 5 years old.
If I put up boundaries, or say that anything bothers me, I am the villain being mean to an old lady. MIL acts like such an abused old lady who looves me so much and I amso mean and trying to take her babies away (DH and the kids). Everybody says, she is so NICEEEE. I feel like I am in way over my head. We have been through counseling and the counselor said that he needed to put his wife first before mommy. DH thought that counselor was nuts and that he just wanted him to can his poor little old mommy. I have asked dh if he wanted a divorce so he can have more time to dote on mommy and so she can feel wanted and needed. He said no, I would rather have you here than her but he doesn’t understand why I am so mean. I have developed anger that I never knew I had in me. MIL I guess developed a sudden interest in psychiatry she says I come from an unloving, uncaring family. DH grew up happy. I guess that is why he was a teenage alcoholic, had 3 DUIs, got married the second he turned 18, had legal problems of course his mommy, being the loving mommy she is, would lighten the load for him and help him do community service. I cannot win. I want out of this insanity. I just don’t think I have anyone around to help me.
You are talking about loving the kids, right?
As an MT I on my own supported a house of 5 people, paying all the bills, including mortgage, cars, utilities- this was when hubby disabled on dialysis. Why would you want to stay with some jerk like that? I would not care if I had 10 kids. The other hubby died and I have a husband who never, ever puts me down. I live on Easy Street. Work part-time now, vacation twice a year, have most everything I want or desire. You can do better than crap.
I am loving these doggie-auggie
pictures- they are just too cute. I also do not know how to post pictures or I would show you my 2 fine male cats. They are real charmers their own self. Loving these, keep it up!
I am really amazed at how and question to loving ASR
speech (or the platform I work on) seems to sorta "take over" your PC. In other words, not only does it pick up what the physician says but I find that when I type a word wrong a lot of times it spells it correctly and these are words I do not have in autocorrect- have you also noticed this?
Oh, besides loving water, they also eat olives!
NM
I'm loving life since leaving MT.
.
I would also wear them, especially if you had a loving relation with her..nm
nm
Living in Georgia and loving it
Never have felt the need to move because I got frustrated, never. Moved from another state over 30 years ago and love where I live. I really hate when I see an overall blanket statement about a state being backwards. I find myself going on the offense when a person attacks a state in general when they perhaps are unhappy just for the person they are. I am sure a person can find fault with any place they might be brought up or choose to live but my community is very progressive, upscale and as much as I love to travel, hope this can be my home from here on. People make their own happiness and if you are unhappy either in your personal or business life, then perhaps you are just soured on the world, not where you live. If a person wants to move from my state, hey, just more room for the people who can enjoy their life here.
I'll still be loving you - Restless heart
That was played at my wedding!
Please don't feel guilty! You sound like a loving fur mom!..I too
lost a cat this week, also about 18 years old. She was an outside cat who never came in but about 6 weeks ago she just walked in one day and never wanted to go back out, so I figured the end was near. I feel very guilty too, but I made her comfortable, stroked her, made sure she was comfortable. Hubby went out in the pouring rain/sleet to bury her under a cedar tree where our others are buried. When I told him how bad I felt about not being here when she died, he said she had a great life because of me and how much I cared for her. I am sure you were wonderful to her. Please don't feel so guilty! My gal, the day before she died, actually did go outside, it happended to be sunny for a bit, she laid down on the deck and enjoyed the warmth and caught the last bird of her life! For a cat, she went out on a good note!
You are a caring, loving person. That has been obvious SM
from your posts for a long time to me. You are doing the right thing and staying on top of this. With your close eye and caring and with professionals on board I think your son has a bright future. Keep us informed. 
Be patient, kind, loving and understanding . . .
sounds to me like he is missing you and your mom/family life. He is probably hurting right now and needs you and for some reason he finds great comfort in being with you. My dad died 13 years ago and I loved having him around. I know your situation is different, but be the comfort he needs right now and I am sure this will end in time. He is looking for reassurance for something. Who divorced who? He is probably hurting a great deal right now even though he does have a new girlfriend. You won't regret being there for your father. Trust me.
It's my birthday today, and I'm loving every single moment of it!
Sounds like Cedric is in a loving foster home!
Where do you live - that path looks gorgeous!
Just be supportive and a loving friend/family member - sm
My son jokingly tells me that I have Super Gay-Dar because I have had a few friends out to me first.
When my friend Chris came out to me a few years after high school, he was a complete wreck.
He called me up one night after I had not heard from him for awhile and the conversation went something like this.
Him: I really have to tell you something (I could tell he was shaking terribly and just sounded so upset and scared.)
Me: Okay.
Him: I'm gay. There I said it.
Me: And?
Him: What do you mean AND?
Me: Are you serious? You think I DIDN'T know? How many times were we BOTH checking out guys "back pockets" in the mall? How many times did YOU help me pick out dresses for formal dances? How many times did my parents let you come over for slumber parties all the way through high school? Do you think they let ANY of my other guy friends do that? Did you notice there were no other GUYS at those sleepovers?
Him: He has such a funny loud, barking laugh and he just started laughing and then crying.
Me: You wouldn't be you if you tried to be a straight guy. You're more fun this way.
Him: I just love ya girlie, You're my bestest bestest girlfriend.
Me: You're my bestest bestest girlfriend too.
And that was that. We still laugh about it. He can always make me laugh.
Torn Between Two Lovers, Feeling Like A Fool, Loving Both
nm
Rose, the good-hearted, animal-loving ditz!! But with
s
Morally-wrong things hurt other people. Loving
.
Thanks for both responses!! sm
And I think one of you emailed me with the explanation (thank you for that email), and I so appreciated both posts too. Thanks again! Happy New Year too!!
Thanks for the responses...
Thank you all for your responses. I have to say that I'm a little shocked by some of the comments, but I I didn't post everything.
I didn't actually prevent my child from talking to her. My daughter answered and handed it to my son, and then he proceeded to answer all of her questions about where we were going and what we were doing and what I got him for his birthday.
I didn't put them in the middle or tell them how I felt about it. I felt like she overstepped her boundaries, but I decided to post my feelings about it on a public message board rather than say anything in front on them. I decided I would get some unbiased opinions here before I said anything to anyone. The last thing I want is to put them in the middle or hurt them.
I've decided that I'm going to e-mail my ex and ask him not to give my phone number to other people without my permission and leave it at that.
I do feel that I haven't been a vindictive or jealous ex spouse. #1 entered the picture right as we were separating, and my kids were really, really angry about it. My kids saw us as still married and just fighting, so they did not want anything to do with #1. In fact, they planned this Parent Trap type sabatoge. I caught them packing worms and slugs in a jar, Ex-Lax, and bubble bath that they were planning to put in her shampoo bottle. I sat them down and told them that they were under no circumstances to sabatoge #1. I told them that they were to treat her with respect even if they didn't like her, just as they would treat a teacher that they didn't like. I also told them that she was not the cause of our divorce, and that they didn't have to hate her. She was around for a while, and the last few times the kids came back saying, "She says all the same stuff to dad that you do, but she screams it at him." Then she disappeared. Despite the fact that they didn't like her, they still had a hard time with her disappearing without a formal goodbye.
#2 and #3 were just one-weekend things. My daughter was actually devastated because #2 had a daughter that was her age. She was excited to go back and play with the daughter and was already telling people that she was going to have this really cool step-sister, but by the next visit he was already on to #3.
There were 2 more that he dated that I was aware of, but neither wanted to meet the kids, so the kids don't know about them.
Now we are on to #4. I'm upset that his family has stopped calling and sending cards and gifts, and #4 seems to be the replacement. The second time they met her, he flew the kids to her house for Christmas, and there was no contact whatsoever with his family, although they sent gift cards to my home for the kids. Now my son's birthday came, and his family ignored it, but girlfriend is calling.
My kids always describe going to dad's house like getting on a roller coaster, and coming home as getting off the ride. So, when she called, I guess I felt like she was encroaching upon my kids' drama-free zone.
Wow! Thanks for all the responses!
Very helpful. I have ordered the BioSpot since it seems to have the same ingredients as Frontline and is much less expensive. That's interesting about Advantage losing its effectiveness. Years ago, it worked great on my cats.
Thanks for the responses!...
But I still think I want to do it. I actually did this when I was 12 from a neighborhood mom and it took a lot of the bigness out of my hair. I usually cut my own hair but have wanted to do this for so long. It's past my shoulders and want to cut it to my necklace line with a style I saw on a hair site. I researched this at hairboutique.com and found tons of information on straightening so feel a little more informed. Thanks for responding, though! I was beginning to think everyone on the board had gorgeous straight hair! :-) I'll let you know how it goes!
Thanks!
Thanks for all the responses.
I'm soon headed to the fragrance counter to do some sniffing! 
thanks for your responses,
it brought up some good points . . .
I want to thank you all for your responses (sm)
I really appreciate you all for coming to my aid. I just finished a 13 hour day and am going to walk away from this machine until 8:00 a.m. and try not to think about work. I actually managed to get a good amount of sleep last night and I did feel somewhat better today. I can still feel it in the background but it is manageable. Like most of us, I know I work too much and I am trying to find a way to cut down. Thank you all again. I truly appreciate all your responses.
Thanks everyone for your responses (sm)
It was the fact that he told me this at night, while his sister was sleeping, not something he said to her in the heat of anger, that worried me. He tends to be a perfectionist and have a very negative attitude and is very critical of himself and everyone else. It is for his benefit as well as his sister's that I need to figure out what to do about it. His friends are dwindling because of his negativity, while hers are soaring. Yet, it hurts her too, because she has to be constantly bombarded with criticism on a daily basis. I stay on top of him about it, but every day it's the same. It's so confusing because they are both raised by the same parents in the same household and I really try to be fair and give both of them equal time, etc. I will say that his sister is more demanding and he probably does crave more of my time. Their dad works so much they never even ask any more if he is coming home for dinner or not - if he shows up fine, if not, fine, nobody even asks. My daughter has friends over a lot and my son doesn't have as many over, but part of that is because he is such a perfectionist that many children he doesn't like. I will suggest one child after another to invite to come play and he will say "no, I don't like him". We are down to about two that he likes and if they aren't available, he just sulks and pouts. I don't know how I am going to get the message across to him. I have tried everything I can think of. That's why I am considering a counsellor for him.
I appreciate all of your responses
but it seems a lot are assuming that the story came from a child. I was more looking for responses based on the assumption that the scenario described is fact . . . assuming the teacher has already "confessed" and provided an unsatisfactory (to us) explanation.
Thanks again for all replies!
Thank you for you responses. Sorry it said nm
instead of my name. I am going to talk to some of his friends I think. One of our nieces is one of his closet friends. I don't want to make them feel like they are betraying him in anyway, but I had posted on here just a few weeks ago about one of his classmates died from playing the "choking game" and I know how it affected so many of his friends. I think they will be open with me. BTW, he says that what was on his page he copied and pasted from another site. Still no explaination. I also just talked to my "other" mother and she really thinks a he needs a counselor. She gave me the name of a very good one that is a Christian I will call as soon as I post this. She agrees that obviously he isn't going to talk to us so he needs to have that privacy with someone else.
I almost hate to ask this, but does anyone feel like there is a connection between depression and accutane? He just finished taking 6 months of it at the end of Feb. I don't know how long the post was on his site. It could have been there between a couple of days or a couple of weeks.
Thanks for the responses to
I'm so sorry for your situations and you have helped me tremendously to put my situation into perspective. It is not nearly as bad as I had first taken, compared to your stories, but none the less still hurtful/inappropriate and if things continue to escalate (which seems to be the trend over the past several years) I feel more confident to stand up for myself and the future of my family. For now, I think distance is the key..if I can pull it off. Thanks for sharing everyone!
THANK YOU for all of your responses.sm
I will definitely be talking to her today about my feelings of having my daughter on the 4 wheeler and how dangerous it can be. I know she would never intentionally hurt my daughter, but it's just not a good idea to have her on one at such a young age. I will have to choose my words very carefully with her, but I think I will be able to get my point across. I would hate to keep her from spending time with my daughter, but if she continues to put her in danger, then I guess I will have to be there at all times. Thank you all for giving me the confidence I will need to do this! :)
Thanks for the responses!
nm
TY everyone for your responses.
Since we'll all be doing this again in a few weeks for Xmas - I now know what to do !
Thanks for all the responses! sm
They are not financially strapped, just too lazy to cook a big meal. I love the idea of telling them I am having another dinner the next night and cannot spare any leftovers, but they are welcome to take home the remnants of the 2 pies they brought over. Love it! This will be a new holiday tradition at my house! 
thank you everyone for responses.
looks like there is really not that much in PO. I am currently in Nebraska. No snow yet, but super super super cold. Wish I were in Mississippi or Washington!!!
Thanks for all the responses!
I feel normal! Yay!!! Most of the time I do wear nice PJs. My husband doesn't care what my "work clothes" look like. Yes we have that joke too. lol He actually says he loves to come home and see me in my PJs. I do take a shower every day after my 4 hour morning shift but I don't wear makeup or do my hair. Maybe blow-dry when its cold but my hair is pretty easy anyway so I never do much with it unless we have a formal event to go to. If I know I will be running to the store or something I get dressed and put makeup on but change back to PJs asap. It's just so much more comfortable.
Thank you for your responses
for those of you who replied. I really hope this mother doesn't come to regret her actions.
see article
http://www.caycompass.com/cgi-bin/CFPnews.cgi?ID=1018801
the web article said...
Don't know though, never tried anything but softener sheets. Geez, I can't go without my fabric softener sheets or something. I can't stand staticy clothes, rough towels...guess we are danged if we do and danged if we don't...
The article also said--sm
and this was FOX, not CNN, my mistake. Anyway, the article also said that she had been sitting in her cell for 23 hours with absolutely nothing to do. I guess she had picked out quite a few books to take with her, but the prison would not allow her to bring them in with her. awwwwww. poor thing! It's funny how she always ends up getting what she wants...or is it her daddy's money?
Who was the article about?
xx
WoW - can you believe this article
www.healthmad.com/Men's-Health/Circumcision-of-Males-in-America-and-How-it-is-Viewed-by-American-Women.541911
Apparently women are responsible for infant male circ's? Well, perhaps they are - perhaps they aren't - but what is so wrong in circ'g. Isn't that recommended by docs??
Here's one article:
http://www.usmagazine.com/news/jon-and-kate-dads-three-month-affair-confirmed-200955
Thanks for the sweet responses!
Off to get tights and slippers, I guess:-)
Thank you all for your responses. I did Google this sm
and didn't find too much. I did find some support on holistic sites, though, about Hartz products and other people saying their dogs have become sick on other once-a-month flea meds. It might be too early for people to make the connection.
Thank you all for your responses. Healthy pets for all!
My response to your responses, etc.
First of all I am glad so many of you used this board to share your feelings on this issue of hating cats. I have read each one of your posts a few times over and agree wholeheartedly. I have also felt that this issue goes a lot deeper than not liking something with 4 legs and a tail that meows. That is why I brought it up. It is frustrating to say the least and something I could never understand.
Some of the people I have come in contact with who make these remarks will also out of the other side of his or her mouth proudly state how they love animals, just not cats. The last time I checked a cat was an animal. I can certainly understand having favorites, we all do. What I don't understand is selective animal loving.
One of you posted that you feel these people are missing something. That really hit home with me and actually brought me to tears. I have missed so much in my life having no children, etc. I used to get angry over circumstances I could not control and actually felt I was being punished in some way. All around me are people with what seems to me to be everything. One thing God made sure I had all my life is the ability to love and receive it 100 times over from animals. It has literally been life saving for me. There is a history of abuse in my past, and this is one love I am not afraid of.
The post that spoke of cats being looked at as evil, the black cat at Halloween hit home, too. That post opened my eyes to a lot of things. My friend I spoke of who went shopping with me and shouted all day long about hating cats said that her mother doesn't like them either. It really does seem to be an attitude that in many cases has been passed down to the next generation. My mother, 90 years of age now, has always and will always have a spot in her heart for cats. She loves them dearly, but because she has dogs who don't tolerate cats she does not adopt cats. My grandmother as well loved them.
I guess when I see a cat I see an animal with elegance and beauty, an individual little soul that walks and cannot be heard or peeks between the railing of my niece's stairway and then very gingerly comes downstairs to sit by the front door. No one can expect everyone to love them, but the one post that said hate is such a strong word says it all. One post said how cats kill birds, etc. I don't like that either, but it is instinct. My friend had an English Springer Spaniel some years ago and called me crying, saying her dog was a MURDERER! She said she looked out the kitchen window and saw Daisy shaking a little rabbit. The rabbit died and Daisy went on her way. It is animal instinct, and nature can be very cruel sometimes. My mom sat at the living room window 4 years ago and saw a snake come over the roof to get at a bird nest we had been watching. We were anxiously awaiting the flight of the babies. It never happened.
Some don't like cats rubbing up against their legs, etc. I guess I could never hate anyone or anything that was just expressing love to me. I value what some others hate, and that's part of life too. I am not preaching, just letting some feelings out and learning a lot at the same time.
In my local shelter just a few miles from my apartment by last count about 5 weeks ago there were 500 cats waiting for adoption, and yet down the road from where my mother used to live year after year appears a sign in the front yard a few times a year . . Free Kittens. Like me, so many live in apartments, etc. that do not even allow pets.
Thanks again for letting me open up and let it out. It has helped, and hearing your comments has helped to understand a little better. I have a few little stickers on my dashboard that says it all. It is from the ASPCA. It reads very simply
We Are Their Voice.
God bless you and God bless all animals.
Thanks to all the responses. This is a #2 problem she did.
conflicting treatments - go figure! Well, I think she will do fine. I have put a temporary litter box where she "went" and filled her regular litter box with fresh litter. She only did this once, but I was afraid it would be a regular thing. She is almost a year old and we cannot keep her in. She loves it outside.
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