Sympathy cards are so inadequate sm
Posted By: HappyFlaMT on 2009-01-02
In Reply to: How important is it to you to receive a sympathy card - unloved
Maybe the people who did not give you cards had a difficult time finding something and just didn't get one at all because of that. I spent a great deal of time at the store yesterday looking through cards to give a friend who just lost her 7-year-old son. They all say basically the same thing and none of them say the right thing because there is no card in the world that will bring a loved one back. In the end, I did pick one out to give the family but still feel it is woefully inadequate to express how my heart aches for them and their loss.
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"Food stamps" now are paid on EBT cards - federal EBT cards which look the
have the option to have their pay on an EBT card as well.
She may well have been using her family's federal EBT card and working for the government for a living.
Or, if she is a foster parent, those children will receive state benefits and she could use an EBT card for food assistance.
Everything is not always what it appears to be. I'm sure you're a nice person, right?! See?! We wouldn't know any better if we believed the appearance you have given here! :)
No sympathy here.
I was taken advantage of by a family member when I was very young. I blocked it out for years -- almost lost my marriage because of it. When the flashbacks came I thought I was losing my mind. I feel no sympathy for anyone who does this to a child. Speaking from the otherside of it -- you may move on, but it stays with you forever. It is a club I would rather not be a part of.
No sympathy--sm
I have read the message from the poster below reminding us that the abusers are someones child, as well. That someone loves them too. Well, love them, yes. Condone what they did. NO.
It is just my opinion that these types of people CANNOT be *rehabilitated*. It is as much within them as homosexuality is within a homeosexual person. It is not something that is *learned*. It is bred within them and cannot be *cured*.
I was, and I will use the term that was inflicted on me, RAPED...40 years ago. It is still within me. Yes. I have *moved on* and do not think about it or dwell on it...but the after effects just never go away. It has affected every male/female relationship and some friendships that I have ever been involved in. I have given up on trying to have a relationship with anyone, as my psyche will just end up ruining it. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than to ever hurt anyone else again. The person who inflicted himself on me has nothing to bear within his soul. He will never know the kind of pain he has inflicted upon others. He just gets his *satisfaction* and moves onto the next one..until he is caught. But even then, his *sentence* can never come anywhere close to what he has done to his victim. Ever.
so. no sympathy here. That one *event* changed my life forever, but not his.
Don’t need sympathy from you or anyone here
I said rudeness, saying a person not smart enough to ask something- this is, like I said, a forum. People can and do ask a lot of different things here- not that you have to fricking use the advice! Not that you take the advice always! But, people sometimes have similar things happen in their lives. That is what I am saying. No sense in people being suck jerks!
You have all my sympathy ! Been there, done that. nm
x
no sympathy, as long as they are
rightly convicted. I myself have been molested as a child, not severely, not even long-term, but it has had a PROFOUND effect upon my mental/emotional/sexual being. It took flashbacks after almost 30 years to piece it all together and understand the impact upon my life. and NO, i don't think they 'rehabilitate'. I think life in prison is the minimal most of these offenders should do. Death would be better for the more persistent and violent offenders.
Now I will give you my sympathy as you did for me
the other day as my baby Kitty-Kat was dying. I really feel your sorry.
not a sympathy card...
Just a congrats on your new baby and friendship, etc... No, sympathy on behalf of the baby would be totally out of order. The baby is fine except for a common foot deformity. It is correctable. No she needs a pick me up card. Something to brighten her day.
Thanks for the advice and sympathy.
It's not just the pain, but have you also had such trouble procrastinating, or when you get started, cannot keep concentration? Combine all three, and heavens it is hard to get through a day. I am a bit better today compared with yesterday, thank God.
I will be sure to try the flax oil and taurine supplement you suggested, "MT also in NC." Thanks so much.
Not looking for sympathy, in fact
I figure to get the opposite! Doesn't matter! I'm a smoker ... yeah that's right, a dirty low life scum of the earth polluting your air smoker! One of the few little pleasure I have in life. When the price of cigarettes went sky high, we started "rolling our own". It was a lot cheaper, for a while. The price of the tobacco went up, but still much cheaper than cigarettes. Well today, DH was informed at or local tobacco store, that because of a new tax hike, it will go from $9.14 a can to over $20.00 by April 1st? Ok. I'm done, let the stoning begin...
Do you have sympathy for child molesters?
Can they be rehabilitated, or should they serve life sentences?
Many people seem to have such mixed feelings about child molesters, like “Well he’s always been such a nice guy,” (duh, how do you think they convince the kids to trust them?), or “They really can’t help it.”
I personally do not have mixed feelings. I believe they should serve life sentences for the torturing of these children. I believe that 99% (if not all) cannot be rehabilitated, they are child rapists for life. In many states molesters are only charged with a misdemeanor if they fail to register as a child molester. This is unacceptable.
Please write your senators and governor and urge them to fund the ADAM WALSH ACT, which will make failure to register a FELONY and help make consistent and uniform laws for ALL STATES. Most of these rapists are not dumb and take advantage of the vast differences in state laws, hopping from state to state trying to find the most lenient laws.
The link below will take you to oprah.com to download a prewritten letter that can be sent to your representatives and links to their addresses. It took me less than 2 minutes to print all the information out, and it could help change our country.
http://www2.oprah.com/tows/slide/200702/20070221/slide_20070221_284_118.jhtml
It is estimated that 1 out of every 4 girls and 1 out of every 10 boys will be sexually assaulted by the time they are 18. Over 260,000 children are abducted each year in America. PLEASE DO YOUR PART TO HELP.
I just wanted to send my sympathy your way...
May you find comfort in the Lord.
Need help on what to write on sympathy card for baby SM
My friends just lost a baby to SIDS. The funeral is tomorrow. Unfortunately I can't make it, but I'm sending a sympathy plant/flowers. I'm at a total loss for words. What should I write on the card? Appreciate any input.
I was just saying I think it would be out of line also to send her a sympathy card...
I AM leaving her alone. I am just asking for other insight since I don't understand this. Like have other people done this. I am not pushy. If I were pushy I would keep calling and asking to speak with her or go over. I am respecting her wishes. I haven't been over because she said she doesn't want anyone over. How am I pushy?
How important is it to you to receive a sympathy card
How important is it for you to receive a sympathy card? I know this has been quite a long time now (3 years), but still bothers me. My mom died 3 years ago and I received only 3 cards. One from my DH's aunt & uncle and my best friend sent me 2 cards. Nobody else sent me a card. My MIL, BIL (3 of them - all married), SIL, co-workers (8 of them), people in my quilting guild that I've been quilting with for years and years. None of them. I went back for the funeral and listed to my sister and aunt tell each other about how many cards they got and how much they were loved by their friends (they made it into a joke as to who was more loved by who got more cards :-) My sister got about 18 or 20 cards and my aunt got about 30. They said they were sure when I got back I'd have many cards waiting for me (I flew back 2 days after hearing of my moms death). My sister even offered me some of her cards. I came home and had just the 3 cards. My best friend also send me some "cheering up gifts". But still nothing from anyone. I never said anything to DH but it bothered and still does bother me that people thought so little of me than to send me a card letting me know they were thinking about me. The worst thing was that I always sent them birthday, anniversary, and sympathy cards to them. I even would send them sympathy cards when their pets died.
Well I'm over it, but every once in awhile I think about it and it just saddens me. So now I don't send any of them any cards for anything. Just wondered if it bothers other people like it did me.
Dating sympathy (from married person)
I would hate to go back to dating. I've been married 18 years but I do remember what single life and dating were like.
The majority of them were creeps for one reason or another (especially the one going to law school - I got my first clue when I saw a sticker inside his car - his last name is also an occupation and the sticker said _________ know all the right strokes). (eye roll)
I mentioned in another post that I had moved into an apt. with my boyfriend of about a year, and 3 weeks later, he left me for his ex-wife.
At that point, I swore off of men. I figured I'd just live in the same apartment and go to work at the hospital 5 days a week for the rest of my life. That's when my husband walked into my life.
I had first met him in 1985 when, after graduating high school, I went to work at McDonald's. He was a swing manager, 2 years older and so darned handsome. We dated for quite awhile but it wasn't exclusive. He then joined the navy and got married. Three years later, his ex told him she needed to get a life and filed for divorce.
About 3 months prior to this, I swore off men for good. Then, one day, I was working a Saturday at the hospital (I think it was to make up for the day I missed when I had a diagnostic laparoscopy - yeah, it was stupid going back to work the day after you have surgery). I got a phone call from my mom, asking me if I remembered such and such. My husband's sister had called my parents' house but my mom didn't want to give out info, so she called and gave the info to me. I called his sister and we gabbed. I told her I remembered her and definitely remembered him. She asked me to meet her and her boyfriend at a bar along with my (future) husband. Well, I said "what the heck". I agreed to go.
Now, this is 3 days status post a laparoscopy and they weren't as good about getting the CO2 out back in 1990 as they are today and that day, I had gas so bad, I probably could have filled up my gas tank 3 times over. I spent almost the entire date squeezing my cheeks together (thankfully we weren't dancing or doing other physical things - LOL). I still had a really good time but was relieved when I left his house. I lived about 10 minutes away and I swear, I must have passed gas the entire ride home.
He knows all about it now. Heck, I can't remember the last time I even closed the door to the bathroom. We have no kids and if I do close the door, all 3 pugs sit outside and scratch the door, whine and cry. I gave up. I'm sometimes even "lucky" enough to have one of them on my lap while I'm going.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is love/good relationships seem to come when you least expect them. When I pursued dating or had someone fix me up, or met a guy in a bar or whatever, it never ended well. Nowadays, how do you know if you're supposed to pay half for the date?
Like I said, I feel for you guys. If my husband dropped dead tomorrow, I think I'd remain single the rest of my life.
Good luck to all of you and God bless!
I just got back from buying a sympathy card for my brother's MIL, glad I did now. nm
x
Elf yourself e-cards (sm)
 http://www.elfyourself.com/
This is from OfficeMax - free e-cards that you put your picture and/or family/friends and they dance. It's really cute!
I know there are cards that
are made for something just like this like maybe for a step-mother but don't actucally use those exact words. I know because it was so hard for me to get my "other" mother a card for Mother's day without feeling like I would be hurting my mother, even though she would have no idea. Don't know what this lady's hobbies or favs are, but anytime someone wants to take me out for a nice dinner just makes my day. Actucally hinted to my hubby this afternoon how nice that would be tonight but he said he needs to mow. Well, actucally that is a gift as well cuz he hates to mow and the yard really needs it. LOL!
Also, some people don't like this idea very much, making a donation to a fav. charity in their name to me is a wonderful gift. That is what I have always done for my kid's teachers. I have an aunt who is a teacher, and while she is greatful cuz she really loves kids, but she has talked about some of the "junk" she has gotten. I always made it to the Children's Miracle Network just assuming since they were teachers they would want to do something for children. A couple of times my children got the most wonderful thank-you notes. I absolutely love this idea.
yes, I actually have one of the cards. I have only
used it for dental work so far, though. Payments very affordable with the option to pay off in certain amount of time with no interest. 
I always appreciate cards, too.
I try not to hold grudges about them, but it's hard to send one to someone who can't be bothered to send to you, so I know exactly how you feel. I think its extra tough when it's family, even if it is the in-laws. And I absolutely agree with the poster who said that cards are so inadequate in some occasions, but they are better than not sending one at all and I always add a personal message.
You really have to stay on top of the cards
I do a lot of card flipping with balance transfers but also calling and trying to negotiate new deals. I just switched one with a balance transfer at 3.9 for the life of balance and then talked them down to a purchase rate of 8.9 (it had been up in the high teens). I also talked a card I've had a while into a 2.9 for the life of a balance transfer instead of the 12 month offer they were having because there was a delay in the electronic transfer to the other company causing me a bit of inconvenience. That transfer was actually for a loan I had at a pretty high interest rate, so some loans can be put on cards too which I never knew. I find websites that list ALL the latest offers for all or most card companies and I'm always checking. Sometimes I call my cards and tell them I am thinking about switching unless they can give me a similar/better rate or deal. Often they will so as not to lose the business. I have saved a ton of money doing this - it is sort of like consolidating on your own. I can post the site if anyone is interested, don't have it handy right now. Oh..I also have automatic electronic payment setup to pay a certain amount each month from my checking so the payment is NEVER late. You are so right about that, that's where they get you! I just thought maybe some of this info may help someone, I hope so. My credit is very good now but had been a mess in the past.
NO more credit cards
I had a credit card with a high balance. I got a second mortage to pay it off. I called the credit card and got the payoff balance and my bank sent a check to them. I kept watching on line to make sure they got it and when they did I noticed that there was a $95 credit. So, I called and said how do I get my money back. They sent me a check and when I got it, I called and closed the account. This was about two weeks ago. Today I get a statement from them with a balance due of $45! Huh??? I called and they keep telling me it is a finance charge. I got pretty steamed and finally ended up saying that I would pay it, but no more. Well, I wrote out the check and put in in the mailbox, but I'm still stewing about this. If I still owed them money, why did they send me a credit?? What is the finance charge on if I had a credit balance? I suppose I will just pay it because they will only keep tacking on even more charges, but it is really bugging me. Has anyone else had any experience with this??
I will say one thing - NO MORE CREDIT CARDS EVER EVER EVER. REALLY. I mean it this time.
How about addressing your own thank you cards!
My husband's side of the family seems to think that it's a wonderful idea to have shower guests address their own thank you cards as they arrive to the party! Well, geeeze! Why not go all the way and write your own thank you note, too! They put the little envelopes in a pretty little basket and pass it around. I don't care how they try to pretty it up, it's still tacky! I refuse to address my own thank you card, and you guessed it! I never receive thank you notes from DH's side of the family!
I hosted a wedding shower for my husband's sister, and my MIL came over with the little basket. We had such a fight, because I refused to do that at one of my parties. ugh!
telephone cards sm
It was on our morning local news that a local mom started collecting phone cards donated by various people for her son and his buddies in Iraq. She said the response has been overwhelming and her son and his buddies couldn't be happier because they love the fact that they can actually talk to someone at home rather than E-mail and snail mail. One woman wrote her a note along with her card, stating that she got to talk to her son every day as he was home, so it made her feel so good to be able to help someone else's son call home. Guess it's all up to them if they want to call, they have to pay, don't know how much it costs to call from there?? Imagine it is not cheap.
I think its credit cards...
The newspaper had an article the day after Christmas how people are defaulting on their credit cards all over the place. This added to the mortgage companies having problems with people unable to pay their balloon payments and the bad housing market, price of gas is sure to lead (the article said) to a recession.
When I was shopping I saw all the people with tons of things in their carts, DVD players, computers, etc. on Christmas eve. This was regular people at Walmart. I saw a lot of credit cards flashed around. Paying minimum payment will cause Christmas to cost tons more and they will be paying beyond the item's life which they purchased.
We went through this. We tried to sell our house, rented to own another and went broke in 3 months. After we had 2 house, fell back on credit cards the interest piled up and it was terrible! We moved back and are on a budget. So, I shopped without credit this year, and you know what? I had more fun. And I have 3 kids. Their things were simpler than the fancy things they got last year. The most expensive things we got were bikes because they are growing and we got those on sale. The rest were creative items. I am not saying that what we did is so great. What I am saying is that peeople are not looking at the big picture these days and if they do not use cash (as we had not in the past), they may not be able to pay their debt if hard times fall. In the meantime, grandpa sent my son 100 bucks, which I let him spend on a train set (I should not have let him do that he is 7) and he cried that his money was all gone and he did not want the train set anymore. I bet if I had him save some of it and had him buy simpler things, well I bet he would not have been crying. At least at age 7 he is learning that money is not easy to come by. And he is learning the hard way because I will not give him more money to replace what he spent. Sorry such a long message. It is just that we did not even afford an XBox, and I wanted a Wii myself, but we avoided all of that because in the end we learned that Christmas is not about credit cards, the junk it buys. I think the end of the cartoon the Grinch where the Who people did not even care about the presents was correct. Maybe we'd be happy with less things and more love. I don't know. This was not meant to be a sermon forgive me. We all have to learn what Christmas means to us and I say let people do what they want, consequences are always result of actions anyway. Just IMO. Happy New Year everyone!
A deck of UNO cards
Can you give hints? g o m d t . c o m
Don't use your debit cards
I had a problem with fraud on my account through them. Surely they have fixed it by now, as this was last year and the year before (yes 2 separate occurrences, both at xmas time). So I would not suggest using any cards there but cash only.
I do agree that it seems to be a great idea for teens. Their prices are great and our location has always been helpful with advise, returns, etc.
Another good idea I have found for teenagers is a gift card for restaurants or gas stations. It helps their parents a bit and if they have a girlfriend/boyfriend places like AppleBees or Red Lobster are nice so that they can go on a nice date and not have to worry about $30 for the bill. Even with a part-time job that's a lot of money for a teenager! :) My nephew actually requests it.
gift cards
Gift cards are hard to redeem, especially if they have to spend a long time trying to find something they like at the store for 5, 10 or 15 which they usually cannot and end up spending my money to cover the overage.
I think cash is much better!
Gift cards!!!!!!
x
Don't throw out those cards!
Christmas is over, please don't throw away your cards. If you don't already have plans, please consider sending them to the Pine Ridge Reservation. Children there recycle the cards to make cards for next year. They sell these to earn money. They only need the front of the cards - the picture part - and welcome any style (obviously not naughty cards). The address to send cards is: Via UPS or FedEx: Carmelita Mesteth Oyate Teca Project Wakanyeja Okolakiciye Youth Center 1000 Youth Center Drive Kyle, SD 57752 Via US Mail: Carmelita Mesteth Oyate Teca Project P.O. Box 316 Kyle, SD 57752
Free Ebirthday cards?
Anyone know of a good free E birthday card site that is easy and you don't have to sign your life away? Blue mountain now makes you sign up for a trial but wants credit card.
google free e-cards
Hallmark and American Greetings I know for sure have free ones that you don't have to sign up for...just google! Good luck...
Most debit cards can also be used as a charge
card. If you use it as a charge card you do not have to put in a PIN number. What happened to your daughter sounds like someone from Bobs took the actual account number information. I'd confront Bobs mgmt.
Overdraft and Debit Cards
Thank goodness at the bank we use, debit card deductions are the same as checks (I rarely use checks). The overdraft applies to those as well. Luckily I don't use the overdraft often, just glad to know it's there is I need it.
I always love gift cards :-) so I can buy what I want (sm)
at the exchanges I've been to those are always favorites. Like a box of popcorn with a Blockbuster card, a Bath and Body Works card (my favorite!), Target, etc.
How many of you received gift cards....sm
and if you got them, were they to places you like to shop? (As for me, I got 4 of them, 1 of which is a Visa debit card that I REALLY love since it can be used anywhere!).
If you are just talking about credit cards sm
If you call your credit card companies, they can set you up with a plan to help. I was in the same boat. Low to no wages and a very large hospital bill, plus household expenses.
I have 5 credit cards. Up until the hospitalization, I paid on time or paid more than the minimum, as I used to use them for work-related items.
Sadly, all were maxed out during the hospitalization and subsequent rehabilitation. Of course in the meantime, during the time I couldn't contact them, my interest rates went from 9% to 21-29%. I didn't know about their programs...a well kept secret. 
I'm still hurting, but now my credit rating isn't being dinged and 1 card is back down to 12%.
BUT, you must agree to pay the amount they set for you faithfully every month. If not, you lose the advantage. When you have a little extra, put it on the bill, even if it's only $1. I have the payments automatically deducted from my checking account. That way, I KNOW they're being made on time as I sometimes don't know one day from the next (if you know what I mean) and if I have extra at the end of the month, I hand write a check to one of them (preferably the highest amount of debt).
Don't need credit counseling. Just work with the companies themselves. It's a pain to make all the calls, but it's worth it. Good luck.
Gift Cards or Money...sm
I gave up trying to please everyone with personal gifts. They were never good enough or what the person wanted. so now I give either cash or gift cards. Even with the gift cards, however, I received complaints. They did not like where the gift cards were from, etc so now I basically just give money. That way they spend it on what they want. You can't really get many complaints from just money and they cannot return it. good luck to you.
If you are no longer using credit cards......
i've had several credit cards throughout my time and all but four are paid off. i don't plan on using the other credit cards ever. they do show up on my credit report. i would like to cancel the ones i don't use, but i've heard that it looks back on your credit report. anyone else have info about this? i think it's a better idea to cancel the cards you will never use again because of the identity theft going on.
My stepdaughters used to get gift cards...
they are now 21 and 24; since they never sent thank you notes or even bothered to send a Christmas card, they will no longer get the gift cards, just a Christmas card this year. They will probably feel slighted, but I don't care; if you can't take the time to at least call your dad and wish him a Merry Christmas, you don't deserve anything!
I LIKE e-cards... animation, music, etc.
card as long as it has a written message with it, and not just a mass-produced 'newsletter'. If no personal note comes with it, the sender just wasted a stamp.
Would rather have someone hand it than e-mail cards sm
I only use these on occasions they don't usually make cards for. I send one to my bro for Vets day with Flag and music, he loves it but not for Christmas, please!
It all depends on the airtime cards you get
My husband got one that lasts a whole year, but when the year is up no matter how many minutes were left (he hardly uses his) he would have lost them if he didn't purchase another airtime card. I get mine every three months so I have to buy a new airtime card every three months before my expiration date or else I lose my minutes and I believe the whole phone has to be reactivated.
your kids could make cards, etc...(sm)
draw him as an angel watching over his family or something.
or you might look up angel crafts on the net and find a project they could make and give the family.
Absolutely yes, I love cards sm
Send as often as I can yet no one sends to me. I am a card sender, get well, sympathy, little notes, etc. What is WRONG with people. I find in this business you are also very isolated but friends do it as well. I sympathize with you. Cards are important and I hang onto mine forever and re-read them again and again.
I have Citibank cards and haven't ever
I have never heard of such a thing. There has to be more there than meets the eye.
Plan on paying off my cards too sm
as soon as I get my settlement. Plan to tell them that I refuse to bankroll their bonuses, parties and whatnot anymore and they can put their credit you know where. I didn't get a bailout--all I got was higher interest rates.
This is hysterical. Please read these Christmas cards. sm
CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED
* 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
* 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are
* 3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
* 4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
* 5. Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and
Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....
* 6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
* 7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
* 8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe
I'll Tell You Why
* 9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, H oly oooh look at the Froggy - can I have
a chocolate? Why is France so far away?
* 10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
When in doubt VISA gift cards
They spend like cash. You can even spend them online.
I have had two network cards knocked out by lightening.
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