Summer classes for men
Posted By: landroverlady on 2009-03-03
In Reply to:
Wanted to give all you ladies out their a chuckle for the day!
Summer Classes for Men at
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, July 10th 2009
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
T hree nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat, and to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day!
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These come back in classes and if
me I would ask for the class when it returned. You may not want to but the higher the more of an urgency but as I stated before, lots of times can only mean infection.
They don't usually test to put them in certain classes. sm
Sometimes in high school it is a matter of making a schedule work and classes work around students to make a full class, etc. So that may or may not be why she was put in this class. I believe too much is expected out of kids these days and I say let her out of the class or at the least talk to the counselor about her issues. I believe in Physics class it helps a lot to have the other classes first. Otherwise, she would be really lost and it sounds like she might be.
I never had a child in advanced classes, but IMO if she
the rush? Let her drop it, 9th grade taking a 12th grade class? there is no shame in taking later IMO. I think sometimes parents and the kids themselves push to hard to advance the child before they are ready.
I'm butting in here but sewing classes LOL
I took home ec in school too. Dresses were always too short in length or in sleeves. My parents sent me to Singer Sewing School for 2 years. I STILL can't sew. . . but sure wish I could. I don't even own a sewing machine, but have 2 of them sitting in storage (1 mom's, 1 DH's mom's).
BTW, my mom couldn't sew either. My father used to do any sewing that was needed in the house.
find out why she is failing some classes
I would help her with her homework or get her some help. Failing classes is embarrassing enough, but explaining to all your friends why you can't go to the "event" is even more humiliating. Put yourself in her shoes, because she cannot possible imagine yours.
Wilton cake classes sm
My daughter and I took them, and it did get kind of pricey buying cake pans, pastry bags, tips, etc. It was fun, and my daughter (age 17) still enjoys decorating cakes, cupcakes, and brownies for friends. I never did master that rose!!
If the school tells you to go to parenting classes
Is that a step away from the school calling the CPS? I visited my aunt at a resturant she was telling me about her children's children. She said the 12 yo was acting up really bad in school and he is about to get thrown out. Every word out of that woman's mouth was it is because the DIL won't.... or the DIL doesn't........ Aunt has the kids more than the DIL does and she is constantly critising the DIL on everything. She had their 2 yo son with her and he started grunting obviously messing his diaper and she hit him on the nose (not hard) and said STOP! Then he threw up and she covered his mouth as if to stop him and it did not work and somehow that was all DIL fault also. DIL would tell aunt what the pedi said and aunt disagrees that the pedi don't know what they are talking about, that she raised 3 boys and they were going to do things her way. She disagrees with what the parenting classes are teaching. You spank kids and spank them hard, she ran around with a hairbrush and a fly swatter when her kids were little. Her DIL called me one night in tears because at some family function aunt started in on her and saying that she is incompetant and she needed aunt and DIL threw her plate of food at her. Aunt got peturbed because DIl was feeding her then 1 year-old cheerios. I told the DIL that there is a government programs out there that can help her pay for childcare that she does not need to rely aunt. I got the number from my daycare director and gave it to her. She never called. I had also told the DIL that she better start listening to the school and to the pedis and not the aunt because she is the one responsible for those kids and if aunt does something they are going to hold her responsible. The aunt won't let her use anyone but her. She is very bossy and the matriarch of the family. I had offered to keep the kids on weekends but I am not good enough either. I don't make my kids mind and aunt would have to work to hard undoing everything I did. Funny, the school told me that whatever I was doing with my 5 year old to do it again with my 18 month old. The DIL and son are mentally handicapped, both were in special education class in high school and both are janitors of the school which is probably the best job they will ever get. Think they would do well though and their kids would thrive better if they had a better support system. I wished there was something I could do to help but they did not want any of my help. I just don't like to go around them anymore. I have turned down every offer my aunt had to watch my children. No way.
That's the way the advanced classes are run here in New York State
She took 9th grade classes last year and she's taking 10th grade classes this year with the exception of the science classes where they bump you up to 12th grade. She's also taking geometry and loves it so far. (As the school year goes on things may change).
Learned to smoke, drink, cut classes
Graduated in the 70s. Took dancing lessons and big big big into disco. Almost entered in the show Disco Fever. I was a little overweight, certainly not popular in the "cliques". Had friends from grammar school, scouts & 4H I hung around with (those are still my friends today). I was shy and stuttered when having to speak in front of groups (still do). I wasn't a "studier" - received mostly Cs (failed science, gym & history - or barely passed). No boyfriends. Pretty boring overall, but I'd trade everything in now and do it all again.
Guess that explains the eye lift and the *diction* classes
anyone notice her new and improved voice, lol.
Local fabric shop has a lady who gives classes. (sm)
She has been quilting for what she says is "100 years" and was an invaluable teacher. The hands-on experience on hand quilting was great. I don't think I could have picked it up from a book at all. Watching her rock the needle was just like a feathery quiver, gentle and efficient. I hope when I retire I can perfect this myself.
Recommend puppy obedience classes. You can learn a lot sm
about discouraging bad behaviors. Some dog trainers give advice over the phone.
book or CD on training... maybe some info on local classes? nm
nm
Maybe the local PD offers classes on proper use. I'd start there. nm
x
Michael's craft stores offers all kinds of Sat. classes. Or check
s
Spend time w/friends who cook, take some adult ed cooking classes, or see
s
ballparks, raceways, night classes at local jr college, casinos...? NM
,
it is the same in summer or
and we don't have fleas where i live - i was surprised when the vet told me this and said i dont need flea treatment for the cat and dogs.
we did do the oatmeal shampoo which didnt help.
and she only goes out in the backyard where we have no grass, only dirt. new housing and havent landscaped the backyard yet.
thanks for the ideas tho!
I am 37 and went through this the summer before
I have lumpy or fibrotic breasts too. A lump was found on the right side. I also had tender breasts with some pain once a while. The lump I had was excised and completely benign. I've been right where you are with two children and a husband that was worried to death. We got through it together and it turned out benign. I had three opinions all stating it needed to be biopsied. The images are to try to delineate the mass. You'll be in my prayers, but I decided to see a different surgeon because the surgeon that excised my mass had a terrible office staff. The surgeon I see now states that lots of women have lumps and that if they excised every lump from every breast they've palpated, there would be a heck of a lot of women walking around with surgical scars. It is better to be safe than sorry, but I wouldn't worry too much if I was you that this is a malignant mass. However, if God forbid it is, then you have found it early. Take care and God Bless. Feel free to e-mail me if you have other questions.
It has been summer here but
we've been under tornado watches and warnings (central Florida)for 2 weeks now. Even my children have to undergo tornado drills. We went out to eat last night for the first time in months and on the TV, all they were talking about was the severe tornado warning and watches. Brother, when I moved to FLA to get away from the cold, I did not know I was moving to the land of OZ! LOL. I'll switch back to cold for a bit as long as my son's grandma does not have to keep evacuating her mobile home down here!
oh summer!!
and thank you!
That was this past August and I can't wait to get in the Atlantic again!!
This morning it was 27 degrees, hopefully will warm up to 40 today. I know it is still way colder in other parts of the country but I'm sure staying in with the heater! :)
I still haven't spent a summer here, that pic was taken when we were over here visiting when my niece was born. I'm a little nervous about the humidity... but I hope it's not super super awful like ive heard...
Stay warm!
Last summer s/m
My daughter (age 17) and I stayed at the Hotel at Times Square. It used to be a Super 8. It's a couple of blocks from Times Square, Rockafeller (SP?) Center. There's also a Comfort Inn that's about a block closer to Times Square. Check the Apple Core web site. Have a great time. We saw a few plays, walked everywhere, and I never once didn't feel safe. We also took the subway down to Chinatown for lunch. I'm jealous.
Summer
Why not make him get a job at McDonalds or somewhere like that. Tell him if his grades don't go up that's what he has to look forward to for the rest of his life.
My kids paid their own insurance. If they didn't have the money for that then they didn't drive. They kept up the good student discount because they didn't want to pay the higher insurance rates.
We normally don't do too much over the summer - sm
but this one is quite busy so far. They have art day camp one week (June) and drama day camp (August) another. They will do swimming lessons too (2 weeks) if I ever get off my butt to sign them up. They have bikes they can ride, a trampoline in the backyard, a new slipe-n-slide to play with (Intex pool died this year, will get a real nice above-ground next year, we want to do it right so need to get our ducks in a row first), of couse my older daughter will try to be on-line all summer which is not happening. I am sure they will still complain of being bored when we are home of course. We have a weekend at the beach planned, a weekend camping and a weekend family reunion, of which the only thing costing us is the camping fees and food for each outing (DH get hotel points so staying for free at the hotels, yippee), and will probably have one more weekend (hopefully 3 nights instead of 2) at the beach in August, he is building up our points now so we can do that, so only weekend "vacations" for us this year. My DH is taking our younger daughter on his guys weekend to a car show as well. Our money is tight but I think the kids will have a fun and busy summer. I am trying to find time when I can visit my dad as well, but our schedule is so full don't know if it is going to work out, can only lean on everyone so much at work for time off, but as I never take time off normally they know in the summer I do want to have some fun with my kids. I usually go on working vacations but that has grown really old and no longer want to do that. Plan to relax more than usual this year!
I still like him, but I want him with Phyllis and Summer.
nm
This happened to us last summer..sm
We had no idea and then one morning we found six babies! Make sure you take the male rabbit out of the cage and away from the babies or he will kill them. Also, they are tiny now, but they grow quick and will need to be separated by 6-8 weeks old! I thought that was too young, but we had a vet come out and check them over and stated they will start to reproduce anytime after 6-8 weeks old! Sure enough at about 7 weeks the male babies were starting to show signs of...well you know! Anyway, we got them separated and kept them all. My kids loved watching them grow into adult bunnies. You have to put the males in separate cages or they will fight. We kept the mom and girl babies in one cage. Some females are okay with other females and some will need to be separated. Good luck and congrats!
It should be out next summer -- staring
Cameron Diaz or maybe Christina Applegate. LOL! 
Summer reading
I'm currently reading a great book on Einstein. It was published in 2007, after all of his papers finally became public. Author is Walter Isaacson, and it's called: EINSTEIN - HIS LIFE AND UNIVERSE. He also wrote BENJAMIN FRANKLIN - AN AMERICAN LIFE, which I may read next. Funny how as one gets older, fiction often is less interesting than real life.
Many, many people were involved in getting the details of Einstein's life and the science right, and even HS science teachers were brought in to bring the scientific explanations down to high school level so we'd all have a chance of understanding it. It's 551 pages long, plus an additional 125 pages of credits! It starts out with a few pages describing the "main characters" in the book. I'm just getting started, but I can tell it's going to be fascinating.
Tell me what you are reading this summer
I love to read. Anything and everything.
But!
I lost my reading muse awhile back and can't seem to find it.
And!
When I had it I almost read 24/7.
Nora Roberts/JD. Robb, Bea Small, Linda Howard, Karen Marie Moning, Janet Chapman, Kristin Hannah *old books*, and many, many more.
So, what you're reading, what you've read and what you want to read.
Well, I DID lose 10 lbs. this summer without even trying-
That's about the only good thing that's come of all this. The rest sucks.
Plans for the Summer
One of the weeks in July my daughter's friend is coming up from Florida to spend the week. We plan on going on day trips to a water park, the beach, ect. Hopefully in late July or August our family and our best friends' family are going to go to the Jersey Shore or Maine (we haven't decided yet). We had planned on a bigger vacation to Florida, Mexico or a cruise, but the money held us back this year.
in summer camps
Send him to camp. This is puberty. He is not going to discuss it with anybody. Send him to a camp where he will feel normal instead of pointing out that hates. Heck I had public school cafeterias, crowds, amusement parks, vomiting in public. He sounds so normal to me!
Summer Vacation
We plan on going to either the Jersey Shore or Maine for a week this Summer. I've never been to either place even though we live in NY State and it's within a reasonable driving distance. Also, my daughter's friend is visiting from Florida, and we'll also take a lot of day trips that week to keep her entertained.
10 weeks of summer
We have always scheduled 5 weeks of the summer for the kids and they get to choose 5 weeks for themselves. I guess we are the weird ones...
Two summer colds so far. sm
I'm WAY too old to get pregnant, but don't you worry. Rather than be anxious, go see your OB/GYN and he/she can reassure you that a cold is a cold.
A few years ago, I went to a new gynecologist with a change of insurance, and on the questionnaire for new patients, there was a question: "What method of birth control do you use?" I wrote down, "Sterility, old age and total abstinence." The nurse was ROTFL!
BTW, congratulations on your new pregnancy and coming beautiful, healthy baby. :)
We have the same trouble with ants in the summer.
around the areas you think they are coming in. The only thing is if you have a small child, this may pose a risk of them getting into if you place it low enough. You could also try sprinkling it outside around your home.
It's going to be a long summer. I need advice....sm
on how to handle the neighborhood bully. He's 11 years old and probably weighs 250 pounds. He's very immature and very pushy and overbearing with the other kids in the neighborhood. We live in a townhouse and there are 13 townhouses in this particular area. My daughter is 9. There are 4 girls and 3 boys, all ranging in age from 4 to 13. We have lived here for 2 years and have never had any problems until the bully moved in. At first he was very nice but I guess he is getting comfortable now and his true colors are coming out. We had an incident last night and I had to go out and take care of it. His mother wasn't home at the time and as soon as she got home she marched right over to my apt. demanding to know "what was going on." After my conversation with her I began to understand why the bully is like he is. Anyway, I have told my daughter she has to stay in front of our townhouses and is not to go anywhere else. The other kids are welcome to come here and play but not the bully. If I have to I will enroll her in something part-time for the summer. It makes me mad that you have to punish the good kids because of 1 bad egg. I told the mother it was a shame that the rest of the neighborhood had to pay the price because of the way her son acted. Of course, she had every excuse in the world for his behavior but I think it just boils down to lack of discipline and lack of interest on the parents' part. He is going to be home unsupervised all summer along with a little 5-year-old brother that the mother is getting for the summer. And 2 girls are also going to be home all day unsupervised. One is 13 and the other 8 but they too are very immature for their age. I'm just aggravated. What is wrong with today's parents?
I think it is too young to be left alone all day during the summer with a ...sm
5-year-old. There will also be 2 girls, ages 13 and 8, left alone all day as well. They are neighbors so it should be interesting. I am the only mother home during the day but I'm not getting involved. I'm taking care of mine. I have to be able to work without constant drama during the day. I may let my daughter go somewhere part-time just to have something to do and not be so bored. This is her first summer home (I worked in an office past 2 summers) and I want her to be able to enjoy it. Things will get better. Time will take care of a lot of it....I hope.
dinner ideas for summer
It's hot and humid here (close to 90) and I don't want to turn on the oven. Any ideas for a light dinner summery type of meal?  TGIF!
Crafts for kids to do in the summer
Hi. I used to teach preschool and pre K children. I used to go to the college bookstores and buy bags of pottery clay and have my kids make coil pots, slab pots, bowls, cups, etc. They would spend hours doing this. You can even buy glazes and let them dry in the sun or go have them kiln fired. Also the Palmer clay and a teaching book from one of the clay companies from the library or book store showing kids what kinds of beads to make. An old pasta machine really helps to roll it out and mix the different colors. My daughter made some beautiful beads and crafts and spent hours with her friends.
They used to love doing collages. You can have them cut pictures out of fun children's or sports or fashion magazines and use glue to attach. Also make nature collages outside. First have them gather as many nature items as possible such as pine cones, leaves, insects, feathers, etc. Give them big poster boards. They also like to make creations out of fruits such as apples, bananas, oranges, etc. Give them marshmallows, raisins, cereals, tooth picks etc. and have them go to it making strange creatures, people, monsters, etc. Puppet making is fun too.
I just redid mine this summer..sm
My room is kind of the small side, about 9 x 12, I think. I painted the walls a light yellow with white trim and already had a comforter with shades of blue and green and beige in it. I went with ivory curtains and found some cute pictures at the beach with blue and green and yellow in them. My furniture is antique from my husband's grandmother and it is maple. It all came together nicely.
It has been the opposite here in Maine this summer!
TONS of out of state cars all over the place, especially on the coast. I just got back from Massachusetts last week myself and did see quite a few out of state cars.
Summer garden blahs
Any gardners out there? Here in Indiana we are in the midst of this heat wave. Our temps have run in the high 90's to over 100 for about the last two weeks. My flower beds really have the blahs! Any suggestions what to put in them right now? I know mums are right around the corner but a little too early for that. Any suggestions of something that will come up each year that brightens the garden in Aug-Sept. My beds were so pretty this spring and early summer. I'd like to hear your suggestions!
Late summer flowers
Maine is probably in the same zone as Siberia, so these may not work for you in Indiana.
My garden is now finally in full bloom, though we have not had the heat like the rest of the country and every day starts with fog. It is a very pleasant 75 degrees here right now and sunny.
Perennials currently blooming: Tall phlox, Rose of Sharon, butterfly bush, day lilies, yellow roses. Asters are loaded with buds. I put my indoor plants out for the summer and my Christmas cactus is huge and in full bloom!
Annuals: Geraniums, pansies (they came back full force after 'resting' in late June/July), inpatients, cosmos, trailing licorice, sunflowers, petunias, Helio double-pinks, phlox.
Got rid of our land line this summer.
I just added another cell number to my plan too so the kids can take one when they go to practice, friends houses, etc.
I went to school with a Summer Stump
nm
Summer here is great.. wish I was in FL in winter though :)
http://stoughtonwi.com/
My kids get this in the summer at times
I tend to think it's just a heat rash. I wouldn't worry unless it becomes red or itchy or begins to spread. Benadryl wouldn't hurt him, though, (and it might give you some peace and quiet -- LOL).
We had new windows put in our house over the summer so
we now need to stain all of them. Ugh. We did not want vinyl inside, because our moulding and doors are all wood. This should be fun. Have to try to match the exisiting woodwork. At least I will be busy this winter.
Consider the source. DD in hospital this summer sm
with serious illness. After about the fifth time a nurse had asked us what her symptoms were - my daughter just looked at me and I said simply "Gross edema?" because explaining how every part of her body had swollen over the last 4 weeks just got old. Nurse looked at me and said, "Are you a nurse?" I said no - but I do do MT..... wanted to be a smart aleck and said "No - but I stated at a Holiday Inn last night!"
Poll: Summer vacation
Our backyard!
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