Suggestions for severe dysmenorrhea, anyone?
Posted By: missyMT on 2007-01-05
In Reply to:
You all have such a wealth of information that I just know someone will have a suggestion for me! I have had severe dysmenorrhea my entire life. I am talking pain so severe that it feels like an elephant is standing on my back and lower abdomen at the same time for 4 days a month. I am now beginning to have pain outside my cycle that is nearly as bad. Various doctors have suggested birth control pills, which I cannot take due to the severe nausea from the progesterone, to help the severity of my cycles. I am currently on a progesterone cream with, you guessed it, the same nausea I get from the birth control pills. What else can I try? This nausea is 24 hours a day and 7 days a week and makes me feel awful. I just want some relief from the pain of my periods without nausea as a trade off. Thank you so much for any help you can provide! :-)
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I posted earlier today asking for some suggestions to relieve severe s/m
hot flashes. Tonight I am doing a search for cures and came across a site that swears by apple cider vinegar. There are many posts on this site stating this has been a miracle for not only hot flashes but many other conditions. Now my question. . . How do you drink vinegar in water every day? I am terrible about any liquid medicines, etc. with a bad taste. Anyone use ACV? I wish there was a better way to ingest it. Thanks!
SEVERE acne while on it
Years later and I'm still left with scars on my face, chest, back, and arms from the horrible acne I had with Depo. I also gained around 50 pounds on it! I'm on Yaz now and it works wonderfully. I also started using Proactive a couple of months ago and it seems to be working just as well as the prescription stuff I was using and costs a lot less.
Does anyone out there have a problem with severe
gum recession and bone loss? I did not go to the dentist for some years, but kept up a very good routine at home. I have no cavities and my teeth are very clean. I use an anti-plaque, antibacterial rinse daily. I floss regularly, but just recently switched to floss instead of dental tape. I am now using the tape again, as advised by the dentist I saw Wednesday. He said in areas where I have wider spaces, if need be to use actual yarn. The dentist said my care was actually too good. He said that I am literally brushing way too hard, and that regular cleanings at the dentist are essential because bacteria between the teeth and gum line actually clings to the plaque,giving it a place to hang on and grow. My father also had this problem with bone loss, and the dentist and hygienest said this is hereditary. My dad had upper and lower dentures when he was still a young man. After a thorough exam by both professionals they feel that if I come in every 4 months regularly (which I am going to do religiously), continue a good home routine being much more gentle with brushing, etc., that I can possibly keep my teeth for several years, possibly 10. Some areas are worse, and my lower teeth in the front are the most affected.
The dentist said to buy very soft tooth brushes and hold them between my two fingers and very gently brush in a circular motion to avoid more gum recession. They told me these brushes are made by Colgate and are very, very hard to find because when people find them they buy several at a time. If anyone has seen them please let me know. I looked again yesterday and only found soft, medium and hard.
I stopped going to my dentist when my insurance was cancelled when management changed.
Sorry for rambling. Hope all this made sense. I hope I have helped someone today. Please look for those soft brushes.
Anybody ever take Paxil and have severe drowsiness....
I started on Paxil 20 mg on Saturday and I can barely function during the day. I have to lay down every hour for about 15 minutes just to be able to work. It is very bad. Has anyone taken it at bedtime and did that work better for you??
We are having a severe thunder storm right now
and I am working like crazy becuse my dog won't get off my feet so she is working the peddle for me. I just love my furry critters!
I suffer from severe hot flashes that have been going on now for s/m
several years. I know hormone replacement therapy is very dangerous. I am about crazy with them as they have come back stronger than ever, every several minutes. This is life altering and I am not sleeping because of constant waking up all night long. I tried black cohosh some years ago at the suggestion of my gynecologist which in the beginning worked like a charm. Then I noticed it actually made them worse and more frequent, timing them to every 15 minues. Can someone please help with some suggestions that would actually help get back to somewhat of a normal life and sleeping pattern. Thanks in advance!
Severe Avon ladies
Not busting on you personally, but I had to chuckle picturing the severe Avon ladies!
Severe Financial Problems?
Like many, we are really suffering. My husband's employer filed Chapter 11. He kept his job, but his salary has been cut in half.
I have been out of work and looking for months, though I do get a few hundred dollars every month. All that goes toward our household expenses.
We are so far behind in our rent that the landlord's kindness is all that stands between us and eviction, but it's coming.
I know the only solution is more income. My husband WAS persuaded that he would have to find a second job, then I had two interviews. He felt optimistic that I would get on or the other, but I didn't.
Now he says he shouldn't have to get a second job if I don't have one. I understand how unfair that must feel, but his job hasn't paid our rent for nine weeks. Fair seems kind of beside the point.
In previous relationships I've gone through hard financial times, and the men really rose to the occasion. I don't know what to do. My husband plays video games several hours a day while we are going under.
We could have eviction filed on us within two weeks and I'm scared to death. I haven't even been able to get a minimum wages job. I feel that he's just going to ride it down and live in his car.
What should I do? What should I say to him?
I had a problem with severe dry skin patches also....
I found this Super E Natural vitamin E ointment for $5.00 at my local drug store and it went away almost immediately. Hope you find something that helps!
http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jsp?id=prod2377297&CATID=100592&skuid=sku2376775&V=G&ec=frgl_504684
I hear ya.....severe occipital neuralgia here too!!!
nm
My little brother suffered from severe migraines.
Finally when my Mom took him for an eye exam, he apparently had terrible vision. He would vomit and needed to be in the dark. Have you had her eyes examined as of late? Worth a short. Also, if these continue, you may want to have her seen by a neurologist. OR - She may just have a flu, there is a lot going around right now maybe since the weather changed. Not that a flu is a very nice thing to have, but hopefully she'll feel better soon. Also, try a washcloth with hot water across her eyes, that may reduce the throbbing of the headache itself and help her to relax.
Our stories are very, very similar. Due to my severe depression sm
something horrible happened which I cannot speak of here. It is the main reason I found God, so you and I are alike in that matter.
As for God rescuing you like that - that is amazing. I guess we can just agree to disagree on this one. He saved you by showing you meds and saying it's okay to take them, and He healed me from my ailment without meds. Who is to say one is better than the other? That is why the saying goes that God works in mysterious ways!
I am happy for you! Continue to do what you are doing. I am not judging you. I only spoke to NCMT through my own experiences. We all have our own experiences.
I do know my flu started with a severe sore throat
and then progressed to a very high fever, and chills and then it coupled with bronchitis. But the other poster is right, my doctor said there are so many different types of flu around this year. If he gets worse I would definitely call the doctor.
it's the only thing that works for my severe insomnia
i have tried everything else. it's amazing how it is impossible for me to get to sleep. even when i'm exhausted and think i don't need anything, my insomnia is so severe i cannot sleep unaided. i think my "off-switch" is broke. i get so jealous of people who yawn and say they're tired. my friends can call me at 3 in the morning and i'm as bright and cheerful as if it's noon.
Severe warning about dangerous dog-toys!!
I came across this blog today on Craigslist: http://www.thechaistory.blogspot.com/
And if you have a dog, it's a must-see. It details what happened to a dog that was severely injured by a dog toy called a "Pimple Ball" made by Four Paws, Inc. The dog ended up losing his tongue, and the pain he had to endure was excruciating.
The dog's owner relates that the Four Paws Co. hasn't owned up to the fact that its toy is dangerous, and he's calling for a international boycott of Four Paws, Inc. After watching his video links of his poor dog's suffering, even though I have cats, I plan to be sure I don't purchase ANYTHING from this company, andhopefully you won't either.
Without anesthesia, and done by a dentist with severe halitosis. :)
:)
had a chihuahua who had severe grand mal type ones and never came out of her last one; be persistent
;
Have had a cough for a week - woke up last night w severe arm pain, all the way down
I have been coughing and kind of achy, yesterday hurt all over, no fever, but in the middle of the night last night, woke up with horrible pain, to the point of making me cry all the way from my shoulder to the joints in my hands. Both shoulder joints are sore, but the right arm hurts all the way down. I have taken Advil, used muscle rub and am working with my arm propped on a pillow. Anyone ever had this happen? Wondering if it is just muscle pain from being sick or if I got something out of whack in my cervical spine from all the coughing!! This stinks!!!
More suggestions
My daughter had a better suggestion. She said rent the movie Honey and there is another couple where the ballet dancers learn hip hop ( Sorry I can't remember the names) but my daughter said if she really wants to make the team she needs to be modern and hip hop is all the rage.
Good luck email if I can help at all.
Any suggestions for ....sm
an ingrown toenail? I think my 15-year-old son has one. I remember my grandmother saying to cut a V in the center of the top of the nail so that it would more or less have room to grow back out, but he keeps his nails so short, I can't do that at this point. I also remember having one when I was pregnant and going to the doctor and he didn't do anything for it.
Thanks again for all the suggestions
Again, thanks so much for all the suggestions, now at least have some idea of what to do.
need suggestions
In the past 6 months, my sister-in-law's dog has killed TWO of our cats.
She never married, doesn't have kids. Her dogs ARE her children and she brings them everywhere. They are not small dogs either. One is a chow and the other is a mutt.
She brings her dogs up to the in-laws every morning so my MIL can "babysit" while she goes to work. Her dogs run around, come into our yard, stalk our cats, and attack. Our dogs, if they are outside, will protect the cats but they aren't always outside.
She has been told that her dog has killed two of our cats and her only response is, OMG! I'm so sorry. That's it. Nothing else.
I love her to death but she is totally irresponsible when it comes to her dogs and even more lacking in compassion when told that her dogs killed two of her nieces cats. What the?
How would you handle this? I don't want to cause any kind of friction because we all live so close and it is my husband's only sister.
Just really tired of losing our kitties.
Thank you for the suggestions
If this rash ever recurs (God forbid) we will have to do some allergy testing. At the moment, I think there is a strong possibility that it is related to the trees we bought (see post below). Both of them were dripping from the holes in the bottom of the pot and I think there must have been some kind of fertilizer or something which got on his skin. Or possibly there was some kind of insect on the trees which got on him, because he has had new bumps appearing up to about three or four days ago. But he has several large areas on his chest which are just solid rash (he didn't even let me see that until last night because he knew I would freak out).
Tide detergent is a thought, too - he had been complaining of itching around his waist so he started washing all his underwear and T-shirts (undershirts) in Woolite. I use Tide Free but maybe I should change to something gentler.
Thanks again! We will definitely try your home allergy test if this doesn't clear up or if it recurs.
Suggestions for ham
I have a spiral sliced ham to bake and in the past, they always ended up kind of dry. Can someone tell me how to bake it and keep it moist, someone suggested pouring ginger ale on it while baking but looking for more suggestions. Thanks in advance.
suggestions
I love the name Kierna.
Thank you for the suggestions. I think
I will try the vinegar and water and maybe a bit of baking soda and keep my fingers crossed. I have tried Febreez in the beginning but urine too strong and it didnt help at all even after enzyme cleaner. Thank you for all the suggestions. I do appreciate it sooooo much.
Thanks much for your suggestions. Appreciate it!
.
Thank you so much fo the suggestions sm
I am pretty sure that they were both definitely females. Males are darker in color and also have or will eventually have orange cheeks and after 3 years mine never did. There was no trauma to the bird. I had fed them (from the same bag of food for a week)just about 30 to 45 minutes earlier. They were doing fine. The other is still thriving today and is still eating the food. I have washed the cage already and cleaned everything. Poor Roxy, she has really put up with a lot in the last 18 hours. My hubby and son are going out to Harrisonburg this weekend and is going to check on another bird for me. I do like the idea of a mirror and can pick one up tonight. Again, thanks for the suggestions. Roxy and I both appreciate them.
I appreciate all your suggestions
Found out today my children's half-brother's b-day party is also on Saturday and so she will be going to that instead. She called her friend and told her she was sorry she won't be there because of her brother's b-day party. We are making plans to take her out for dinner (her choice) next Friday.
I do realize what some of you were saying regarding the different ways to get head lice and in all reality she could bring it to our home too. My daughter has very thick hair and had head lice a couple of years ago and it was a total nightmare!! I just attempt to prevent that happening again. I do feel for this girl. I really do. She is so sweet and has been such a good friend to my daughter and my daughter thinks a lot of her.
If she is invited to her house again, I do think I will take the opportunity to go visit with her mother. Maybe there is something I can do to help her. In all reality though, how do you hint around to someone about their poor hygiene and dirty house without being offensive? I'll be praying about this.
Thank you all for your suggestions! I very much appreciate it.
Thanks to everyone for their suggestions
I used to use Crest - I don't know why I switched.
And I tried Tom's years and years ago. I liked it but my husband didn't. We each have our own toothpaste now, so I might give it a try again.
Thanks!
suggestions
Honestly, this is a man thing how they go off into dream land. You either have to deal with it or move on who does it less. I think most woman can agree men go off to dream land unless it is something they are interested in.
Thanks for the suggestions, everyone. SM
Acutally, I have known this person since I am two years old because out mothers worked together. She is a dear person, but I really don't see her much anymore, partly because of the smoking issue. She is totally addicted to tobacco, and her husband addicted to tobacco and alcohol. I don't like going to their house much because of it, and I told her so a few years ago. I go over rarely, stay for maybe 45 minutes and then go. She tries to be good about it, not smoking on most visits. However, I am so sensitive to the smoke and the house is so saturated with it that my eyes burn and my clothes and hair smell of it anyway. As in my previous note, her entire family has addiction problems with tobacco and alcohol. Her mother, rest her soul (one of the sweetest people on earth) used to smoke so heavily that I watched her putting one out and reaching for another at the same time.
Anyway, I'm taking the long road again. . . gotta get to the point. The party is at a fire hall and I am thinking if there was a no smoking rule this family would never have taken the place to begin with. Everyone but two people that I know of in that family smokes heavily. Her sister and husband do not, but all her nieces, nephews, siblings, their kids, etc. do. I don't want to sound high and mighty, but I resent being exposed to something that is so harmful and something I am so totally against. This is a tough one. I think all the suggestions were good. I have until Saturday to follow through. Thanks, everyone!
Thank you all for your suggestions (sm)
I have looked these up and sent the info to them. Thank you!!
thanks for all the suggestions!
I have some good lunches coming up!
some suggestions
First, as I am sure you already have, try to find out why the sudden change in behavior. Is something/someone at school bothering her? How are her grades? Is she falling behind the other kids, can't see the board well, can't hear well, etc.? Are there any major changes at home?
My daughter is also in 3rd grade this year. Last December we moved in with my in-laws. We are in our 30s, they are in their 80s (my husband was a HUGE surprise when he was born!!) Their health was not the best, and they just needed a little extra help.
The kids were great for about 2 months, they my daughter, who has always been very well behaved, turned into a little monster. She started to be very demanding, lazy, defiant, you name it and she did it! Everything we tried would work for a few days, but then the behvaior would start again and we would have to try a different tactic.
We finally decided we had to do something drastic. We sat her down and told her how much we loved her, but that her behavior was not acceptable. We told her that if she was openly defiant, rebellious, talked back, etc. again, we would have no choice but to take EVERYTHING out of her room except her furniture. She was shocked and of course cried and said she would be good.
That lasted about 2 days! She had a problem being disrespectful while getting ready for school in the morning, and when she came home from school, EVERYTHING was out of her room. (I didn't say anything to her about this before she left for school because I didn't want her to not focus at school becuase she was upset about this). We took the pictures off the walls, stuffed animals off of the shelves, took the bookselves and books out, toys out, everything out of her closet except for her clothes, etc.
Of course, she freaked out! She spent the next hour on her floor crying and telling us how she would be good, she promised. We explained to her in between sobs and screams that we had warned her, and she chose to do that behavior again, so she had in fact CHOSEN HER OWN PUNISHMENT! (I really think that she didn't believe that we would follow through on this!)
We told her that she would earn one item a day back for good behavior. If she was exceptionally good and helpful and showed us that she was trying, we might let her choose more than one thing.
It was like night and day. Almost immediately she focused on how to earn her "things" back. She still had bad days, but nothing like before. She is much more respectful and obedient now. I really think she was just pushing as hard as she could to see what she could get away with, but she really needed to know that we weren't going to let her push that hard. Does that make sense to anyone else?
I know how frustrating this can be. We shed many tears and prayed many prayers over this. I know what we did seems a little extreme, but it worked for us. I hope you find something that works for you :)
I need suggestions too
I am also open to some suggestions. My situation is a little different. I have only been married since April and my husband has a child from a previous relationship. He is 5 years old and I don't know how to handle him. My husband never disciplines him. He backtalks me, disrespects me, doesn't listen to anything I say and I am getting so tired of it. He's also not doing that well in school either. He's in kindergarten and the teachers are threatening to hold him back. I give up on trying to make him practice his numbers and things at home because he doesn't cooperate with me anyway. Whenever I complain about him not picking up his toys (he destroys my living room) or how he doesn't listen and disrepects me, my husband will tell me to calm down and doesn't do anything about it. Like tonite, my stepson wipes his nose and just throws the toilet paper all over the bathroom and hall floor like he was raised in a barn. So I tell him to pick it up, which of course he doesn't do. So I get mad about it and my husband gets snappy at me and tells me to calm down. Ugh! It makes me so mad at both of them. I just get tired of my husband always taking his son's side and defending him and doesn't think he should ever discipline him. It's like my husband expects me to just stand there and let a 5-year-old treat me like a piece of dirt and I shouldn't get mad about it. I feel like I can't discipline him because my husband will get mad at me. I can't really talk to my husband about it because about 2 to 3 weeks ago, he found out some things I had vented about with an online friend concerning this situation and he got raging mad at me and was at the point of leaving me over it (which I think was ridiculous). I am just at my wit's end and do not know what to do. If anyone could give me suggestions I would appreciate it. I just want to hear what you all think. My husband makes me feel like I am the wicked step-mother or something.
Thanks for the suggestions. (nm)
.
My suggestions...
It sounds like he wants more attention. I am not accusing you of not giving him enough attention - it just that kids normally think the world revolves around them, so it is normal for them to want tons of attention imo. Kids (and adults) just want to be heard. Ask him what he really wants from you when he acts this way. I find it helps to repeat back to them what they want. If they are screaming that they want a cookie, mimick loudly back "You want a cookie. You want a cookie right?" Then they know you get what they are trying to say. Three years old seems a little young to be home schooling. Most daycare programs don't start teaching a curriculum until age 4. I'm sure he can learn an enormous amount at this age, but it may have to be in short "bursts" of learning rather than a structured program at this point.
As far as disciplining goes, my boys are now 5 and 6, but when they were 2 and 3 it was so hard to discipline them because they forget what they did wrong in a matter of seconds! Once they hit age 4 or 5 they understand consequences a bit better and tend to listen more, so hopefully this is just a stage he is going through and your life will get better soon (I know mine's less stressful now!)
I think it's great you are trying to home school them for their well being, but you cannot sacrifice your own happiness to try and make your kids happy. What your kids want is for YOU to be happy. They learn by what they see you doing. I'm 26, and I still want my parents to be happy! I worry about them all the time. Maybe you could put him in a program 1 or 2 days a week for just a few hours (after doing lots of research to make sure it is a good, safe program) just to give yourself a break. Plus, he would probably enjoy it. My kids get so bored being cooped up with me that they actually beg to go into boring places like the post office sometimes!
Good luck with all your stress. Maybe he could be redirected to other projects - playdoh, coloring, leggos, V-Smile video games (they teach shapes, colors, letters, etc.). You could also give him tasks to "help" you around the house. For some reason my boys love it when I have them help me with chores. I guess it makes them feel important. When your husband gets home tonight go take a verrrry long, hot bath with a fun novel!
suggestions? sm
The others gave excellent advice and suggestions. I found with my sister's lung ca. she loved exercise work-out clothing in a size much larger than her own, which she slept in and then went to chemo in or vice-versa if need be, the extra size was comfy and allowed for the weight gain that sometimes comes on with treatment. You just have to be careful with zippers if you are having any sort of radiation. She also felt a little more "dressed" if someone were coming over.She found Ambien a great help for sleep and sometimes would break one in 1/2 and, of course, you would have to check with the doc as to what other meds would interfere with this. Sometimes this was more of a relief at night than the pain pills. You should not mix both, of course. She preferred Maalox for her stomach upsets. If you Google Dana Farber they have some items on their web site for cancer patients that might give you some ideas. She had a cute turban with just a bang of hair coming from it that she wore to chemo. She also attended the "look good, feel better" classes offered at the hospital. The softer the clothing, the better for you, of course. Pain meds are very constipating and a stool softener sure does help and at times a glycerin suppository will encourage things along. The others are more familiar with the drains, etc.,that you will have to deal with. You should listen to them as they have walked your walk. Treat yourself to a manicure before your sugery, and pedi if you can afford it; although you probably cannot wear polish, at least you will feel better about your nails.
Most of all, I am sure everyone who reads your post is praying that you will have a speedy recovery and wish you all the best. With today's technology, you will be okay, we are all wishing you the best. Anyone please correct me if I'm wrong with any of the above posting. I don't want to give wrong advice. A friend of mine had a mastectomy and her doctor was very adamant about her not using anything on her skin or anyplace else without her okay first, so follow what your physician tells you, especially if it involves skin care or meds.
My suggestions sm
Volunteer at hospital, food bank or American Cancer Discovery Shoppe (gently used clothing/furniture/miscellaneous items for sale), literacy program at library, sheriff's office also has volunteer positions. I fully intend to go back to volunteering once my work allows me. I was actually pulling two 4-hour shifts at our local hospital before my daughter at her older daughter - I got so much out of it!
Suggestions
I'm looking for some suggestions. I have been battling with psoriasis since I was around 12 or 13 years old (that's over 30 years now). Luckily it is only one patch behind my earlobe where the earlobe connects to my head (that sounds weird but think you know where I'm talking about). Anyway. I have also been going to the doctor for over 30 years for this (moved around a lot so been to a lot of doctors). They always prescribe a cream for me but never with any refills. All creams have worked in the past (some better than others). What gets me is when I tell a doc a cream works really well and they tell me they want me to try something else.
Here's what I'm looking at now. I'm at the end of my cream (which was prescribed to me four years ago when I lived in another state). The cream is called Elocon 0.1%. I really don't want to go to the doctor for this but I have tried everything I can think of on the market (all 1% hydrocortisone). Nothing works. Does anyone have any suggestions? Maybe something natural. Heck at this point I'd go for something supernatural. HA HA. Or am I going to have to bite the bullet and find a dermatologist locally. I looked up how to treat it naturally and all it said was eat more fruits and veggies. Ah, yeah, right!
Thanks.
Suggestions:
Everyone may jump in here on me, but this is what I did. I have three children, all grown now. They got to learn to drive and drive our cars under supervision for a long time. No supervision, no driving. After while, they got to drive our vehicles alone, no riders. When they had enough money to buy a car, pay for insurance and gas then the bought one. The end. Now that almost all of them are parents with one of them coming to this fork in the road about driving, they all agree that we were fair, they were safe, and learned that when you want something it is better to pay for it with your own money, preferably cash. They all told me they would do the same with their children. When they lived here and drove our vehicles we paid for the gas and insurance because they were our dependents. They learned that if they had their own cars they would lose a valuable perk of living here. I think that sometimes teenagers have too much freedom and too many ways to get into trouble. Vehicles driven by teen "owners" just multiply that risk. I have to say that it would have been easier for us to give them a car or given them more "freedom" with ours because I hate to run errands and drive places and it really took a lot for us to keep up with all of them and their "driving needs." Like who would drive when and whose turn it was next, but it worked.
Besides, on another note, I live in your state and have driven in Vegas frequently. Wow, what a place to place a new driver! It is so bad on your ramps there at rush hour that if there was a way for me to drive with my eyes closed I would!
Good luck and whatever you choose just keep up with them and if you can get them driving lessons from a pro. When I was young everyone in my state had that for free at school and it was worth the taxpayers' money to give that to us. Times have changed and now, according to my kids, all you have to do is start the car, belt up, drive around the block and not hit anything and you are presto, a licensed driver! That is pretty scary.
Suggestions
I would like to know if anyone has suggestions for this. It's a touchy subject with my sister so I never bring it up, it's regarding my nephews weight and suggestions to help him lose. I'm not a skinny minny (weight 190 pounds myself so its not like I'm a skinny person offering a "just go on a diet" suggestion - sis herself weighs about 230 pounds). Problem with nephew is he is mentally retarded (special, slow or whatever you want to call it). He turned 20 years old this past November but he still plays with Power Rangers, watches cartoons, and has the mind of a 12 year old in some ways. He does not have the capacity to think like a regular 20-year-old. So...he is overweight....way way overweight. I don't live back there but sis says he weighs 340 pounds and he eats like a pig. She can control his eating pattern while he is at home but the problem is he eats like no tomorrow at work. He also has his bike and will ride down to McDonalds. She's had people she knows watch him and when he's caught he tells these people to mind their own business. Sis and her DH have talked and talked to him, but nothing sinks in. He tells them he is not fat. She got so mad one time because he refused to listen that she told him he was the size of a pregnant woman. . He became very irate and was screaming and yelling he was not. Then proceeded to bang his head into the wall in one of his "fits". He has these a lot when he's caught doing something wrong or is upset about a problem. He does not know how to handle emotion so he balls his fists up and punches himself over and over in the head or bangs his head against the wall. She took him to his pediatrician and the pediatrician told her there is nothing wrong. She was livid. I told her to take him to a regular doc and she said he can still see the pediatrician up until 21. I didn't say anything because she gets very defensive but I almost said he may be a child in the mind, but he has the body of an adult now. They adopted him from south america, so not sure what health problems or body habitus people from that country have (some countries have naturally large people - like Samoans and other cultures). He also has what could be the onset of early diabetes, although the doc never came out for sure and told her he has it. I told her that the only thing I am worried about is that if he doesn't get his weight down or if his diabetes gets out of control he the worst scenario would be that he could have problems and end up losing toes, foot, hand, or whatever. She said to me, oh sure, that's all we need is to give him nightmares. I told her not to tell him because he can't handle it, but if she doesn't do something she needs to know this is the worse that could happen. She said she was thinking about taking him to weight watchers and I told her I doubt very much he would listen to the speakers there. I've seen these commercials for weight loss pills, but of course am very skeptical about weight loss products advertised on TV. Does anyone have any suggestions. The only thing I can think of is getting him to both a regular doc or nutritionist and also a psychiatrist to help deal with his "I'm not fat" attitude (I certainly can offer no intelligent suggestions to her as I have no idea how to deal with her situation). However, she can't afford either doc or psychiatrist so wanted to come up with some suggestions to offer her.
Suggestions
Hey Kaydie, I used to work with special needs kids and had one with a similar weight problem though not nearly as severe. What your sister needs to understand, and if she gets defensive tough give her some tough love, is that if your nephew develops diabetes and then goes off on his bike and eats whatever the heck he wants, he can do more than lose a toe, he can die. A guy I was friends with in middle school, died after we graduated from a hyper/hypoglycemic episode when we were like 20. He was short and skinny!
As far as suggestions, the pediatrician needs to update his malpractice insurance because there sure as heck is something wrong. As far as South America sizes, we'd have to know what country but think Brazilian bikinis and you can see that South Americans in general are not predominantly large people. Now, as far as his job is concerned, if this is under adult programming, tell them he is under dietary restrictions and can only eat vegetables or what have you. I assume he has some sort of superivision at work regardless because of his disability. Do not let him carry around pocket money if he is going to insist on using it for food.
Get him involved in something that equals exercise like Special Olympics or something. Riding his bike is great but not if he's going to McDonald's and back. Give him errands to run like going to a post office or the library, things that don't require him to carry money. Get him a paper route that he can ride his bike for. Have your sister turn it around on her and say that her doctor told her that if she doesn't lose weight she could get really sick and she needs everybody's help so no junk food in the house and healthy food. Get him to help develop healthy meals for mom and help shop for them. Get that cookbook that shows how to sneak healthy foods into meals for kids.
Above all make sure your sister understands that you love her and your nephew and want them both around and healthy for a long, long time. Heck tell her a friend of mine who is 6 feet 2 and weighed 225 at one point started having knee problems at 26? He has lost 40 pounds and guess what? His knees don't hurt him anymore. It makes a huge difference. I don't know how tall your sister is but 230 pounds is not a healthy weight for most women adn 340 pounds is not a healthy weight for anyone. Good luck to you!
Some suggestions...sm
I would enroll her in a good basic puppy obedience class. She sounds like a typical fun-loving, high-energy pup, but you're right, you want to get a handle on this before she gets any bigger/wilder (though at 6 months, I'd guess she's close to full size, just with some filling out to do). Plus, she will soon be entering into what I've come to think of as the teenage/juvenile delinquent phase of her life. LOL
She just needs to learn some 'manners,' so to speak, and you/your family need to learn how to communicate w/her in a way she can understand, which a good trainer can help you with. Learning the basics (sit, stay, down, come, heel) will come in very, very handy - esp. 'sit.' I mean, think about it, she can't very well 'sit' and jump up on someone at the same time, right? Teaching basic obedience to your dog is sort of like teaching manners to your kids, can you imagine how insufferable they'd be w/o any manners?
Ask your vet if there are any training classes locally that he/she recommends. You can also try the Assoc. of American Pet Dog Trainers: http://www.apdt.com/ Find someone who uses fun, positive, dog-friendly methods, and avoid anyone who wants to use force, yelling, hitting, pushing the dog into a sit, drilling the same command over and over, etc. Do some research before deciding on a trainer, because anyone can hang out a sign and call themselves a dog trainer - doesn't mean they know what they're doing! Training s/b a fun, bonding exp. for you and your dog. In fact, you might want to look into something called 'clicker training' because it's really fun, and even kids can do it. If you can't find a good, affordable class, there are some good dog training videos/DVDs, but I think a class is better.
And personally, I would not play tug-o-war with her, at least for now. For some reason, that game seems to get dogs pretty wound up and 'hyper,' and is sort of an aggressive way of playing for them. *Maybe* later, if she learns to release the toy on command when you say 'give' or 'release' or something like that, you can play tug-o-war w/her, but I'd focus on the basic obedience stuff first.
We train our dogs from the start that they are never allowed to put their teeth on us, ever, but some people allow the dog to do it if they do it gently, in play. I just find it easier to not let them put their teeth on us at all, but that's up to you. We also teach our dogs that they are not allowed to jump up on anyone unless the person gets down on the floor and calls them up (by patting the chest). They don't often try to jump up on us, but if we have company they get very excited, so we might sometimes need to put a leash on them for control until they settle down.
Please don't think I have perfect, 'robot' dogs BTW - far from it! I often 'cheat' and take the easy way out by using distraction. For instance, there is a dog toy called 'Kong.' You can fill it with peanut butter and kibble, freeze some beef broth and kibble it it, all kinds of things, and give it to the dog to keep them busy. I love it! If you go to their website, they have recipes.
My other big suggestion is: Exercise, exercise, and more exercise. Dog people have a saying: 'A tired dog is a good dog.' I can tell you from personal experience that this is soooo true. My dogs can be so obnoxious when they haven't gotten enough exercise. A dog that gets plenty of exercise, both physical exercise and mental exercise (in the form of training where the dog is having to concentrate which wears them out mentally just like it does us) is a good dog, because it's a dog that doesn't have a lot of excess, pent-up energy to get into mischief. Some ideas:
1. Treadmill (supervised, of course).
2. Walks on a leash with the dog having to heel and wearing a backpack that has something it for a little weight to wear him out a little.
3. Running, playing, wrestling with another dog of similar size and energy level (with a friend's dog or at the dog park maybe?)
4. My absolute, all-time personal favorite (because I'm lazy and not nearly as athletic/energetic as my dogs are, so it's the easiest thing for *me* LOL): Riding around the neighborhood on my mountain bike with my dog running/pulling alongside, attached with something called a Springer, which you can find here: http://www.springerusa.com/ (I use a better harness than the one that comes with it.) This is a great way to exercise your dog, IMO. Be careful, wear a helmet, let the dog set the pace.
You have a high-energy breed, so... enjoy!
Thanks for the suggestions, all!
x
Any suggestions are welcome
I find I am going into a depression each day as time goes on. The root cause is home sickness. I live far away from my family where the only way to see them is to fly. This happens maybe once every 3 or 4 years (which is how often I go back). My DH doesn't mind me going back at all and has been excited for me when I do go back because he knows how much I enjoy myself even just sitting around watching movies and visiting with family, and he's a loner kind of person, so am sure he enjoys the quiet time (we have no kids). However, with that said DH listens to a lot of talk shows, news stations, etc. Almost 2 or 3 times a week he'll tell me how bad the airports are getting, all these people are saying how unsafe it is to fly, this could go wrong or that could go wrong, then whenever you hear of an air disaster (i.e. the plane where those seats came unattached or they found screws missing in part of the planes, or maintenance checks not being completed properly) it intensifies his confirmation of why "anyone is nuts to want to get on a plane now adays". I haven't mentioned to him yet that I want to go back to see my family (dad is in his 70s now, sis is desparate to see me and I haven't seen my new niece yet), not to mention I'm homesick to see the area I grew up and love. He just came out again to tell me he's listening to someone talk about how there's no way in he!! they would ever fly, your just asking for it, etc, etc. (I'm sure those people are rich and can don't have a job and can drive from Canada to Mexico whenever they want to) My heart just sinks everytime he says that. Once I told him that they have to make flying safe because the whole country is filled with people who have to fly for business or personal reasons. I want to go back to see my family so badly my heart just aches, so was thinking maybe between Thanksgiving and Christmas time frame (we don't celebrate holidays here so no big deal) that way it would give things time to settle, but I just haven't said anything to him about wanting to go back. Also, with the crisis and election coming up there is a lot of uncertainty too, and I can't throw too much at him (he can't handle it). - Believe me in this household the impending gloom and doom are an every day part of our lives and our talks what we'd do if certain things were to happen.
What would you do? Do you think I should just hang in there and wait to see what happens over the next few weeks or so? P.S. - we do not have a marriage where I just demand or tell him the way its going to be. Of course I may just be thinking too much of this, but at this point not sure and I get more and more depressed the more I think about it. So looking for some opinions/suggestions on how you would handle this situation.
Thanks for your suggestions....I do need to get some (sm)
good info and some exercise. Also I know you are right that getting up and getting a shower first thing would help me tremendously. I always fit my shower in sometime during the day but when I worked outside my home and took one first thing it always made me feel better.
Need suggestions!!!
I joined a local volleyball league and our team is trying to think of a name for the team. Anyone have a clever or cute name for a co-ed volleyball team?
Thanks for the suggestions.
Where the step is concerned it won't help. The situation is what it is and I knew it when we married. It's just frustrating at times but I know it is only temporary. I would hate to be the hateful ex who treats someone this way. It must be a terrible life to live constantly dreaming of ways to hurt your ex and his family instead of enjoying your own family and knowing that your child is well taken care of.
As for the family stuff. I have tried to talk to the leaders of the family and they looked at me like I was a complete loon. That's fine. They can do what they want. He can do what he wants, but our budget is what it is and that will mean less for his child. Next year I WILL have a xmas fund set up so that I can provide for our kids and we don't end up in this holiday mess again. If nothing else $20 a month is more than what we have now and I'm sure I can scrape that together if I really try.
Thanks for your help. :) I wish I could be oblivious like your husband!
Some suggestions
Not knowing budget considerations:
1. I'd think about adding something to his landscape....a fast growing tree perhaps or butterfly bush.
2. Bonsai tree. This is a hobby unto itself.
3. Indoor garden for winter.
4. Cactus garden and book.
5. Bird Feeders and seed.
6. Build-a-bird house project. Check out this site: http://www.50birds.com/D50BH.htm
7. Birding books.
8. Bird Bath.
9. Binoculars.
10. Telescope.
11. Waterfall.
12. Pond.
13. Aquarium
14. A pooch.
15. Puzzle and word books.
16. Magazine supscription.
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