Stealing child: How to break the habit??? sm
Posted By: Concerned mom on 2006-10-16
In Reply to:
We have a 6-year-old foster child whose birth mom had a stealing problem. Our 6-year-old has had several episodes where she was caught stealing both before she came to live with us and since moving in with us. Conversations with her about it being wrong to steal, talking with the caseworker, psychologist & even a policeman have helped but occasionally she steals something from a store anyway. The last episode was this weekend when she stole some nail polish when my husband turned his back for a moment, even when she was being allowed to buy some lip gloss she was wanting.
Does anyone have any ideas of how to get her to stop stealing? I've talked to the local juvenile court system and all they said was they couldn't do anything unless she is actually arrested.... which of course we're trying to stop. Of note her biological mother had a problem with being arrested several times for stealing and even though it's not documented, we suspect that this child would see her mother steal or her mom had her steal at times for her. There are plenty of times we can go into a store without problems with her, it's only every few months she steals.
Thank you.
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What kind of parent gives their child permission to break the law?
How do you know for sure there's only going to be 3 people there? Any adults? What kind of alcohol? How much? Will she end up in the ER close to death from alcohol poisoning? She knows it's not right or she wouldn't have asked. Telling her it's okay to break the law - you'd better hope nothing bad happens, she will be telling the police or whatever that she had your permission (and are you going to lie and deny it, putting it all on her?)
habit
sounds like you all are getting into a habit. . . a rut so to speak. . break up the rut now. . a person can only treat you badly (or call you names) if you let them. . sometime when you aren't fussing with each other, you need to have a serious talk. . working from home is very difficult with all the little distractions and anything he can do to help -instead of hinder- would be great. . you don't bother him or distract him at his work do you? It is hard to get people to understand that this is a real job with a real schedule, etc. .
communication is the answer. . I read somewhere once that anger isn't a real emotion - it is just a response to another emotion that you don't know how to deal with, such as frustration, fear, etc. . .
I have a really bad habit
I buy things and then don't use them. It can be food, shoes, clothes, what ever ! I don't go out shopping looking for things to buy on purpose. It is worse in shoes and clothes. Here is a couple of examples.
I have 5 new pair of shoes I bought Sketchers and Clark sandles and they are STILL in the box. Then I have NEW clothes with the tags on them. Bought them to wear to an occasion and then didn't so there they HANG ! Oh, and 2 new purses.
Just last week I bought a complete outfit of a jacket, capri's and top plus a pair of Dockers and 3 tops. What do I end up wearing all the time, my same OLD stuff. It's like I want to keep them NEW !! if that makes any sense. It's not a waste of money as I will eventually wear them (someday).
DH doesn't say anything as he likes to see me buy things for myself. As I get older I find myself doing this more. Plus I go up and down in weight like a YO-YO !
Weird kitty habit - what does it mean? (sm)
This is the first cat I've had to do this behavior, and I have no clue what it means - must be some instinct maybe? Whenever she goes to one of her water bowls (that have fresh water put in them every day), just before she starts drinking, she wipes her front feet on the floor, like she's digging a hole. Then she drinks.
I've seen cats act like they're burying their dinner after they've had enough to eat, and heard that it is an instinct that goes back to wild cats, lions, etc. burying their kill so they can come back to it later. But what do you think the foot-wiping thing is?
Yes, dogs are creatures of habit. Nothing you have
dasf
Old dog keeps chewing front paw - new habit for him
any idea what causes it and if it is okay to put tea tree oil on it? He is 14 years old and has been doing this for a couple of weeks. Has a raw spot there now.
Very easy. It is all a habit. My daughter
becamew a vegetarian and I followed.
Meat is good for its protein and its vitamin B12, etc...
But you can get these also from other food sources.
Plant protein is much healthier than animal protein.
Actually, all animal products are not good. They are all high in cholesterol and fat, the bad one, saturated fat. Even lean meat contains saturated fat, bad, bad.
On top of it, meat makes the blood and body acidic, that's also not good.
Furthermore, nowadays HORMONES are added to the animal fooder, especially estrogen, this makes the animals fatter and it makes also us fat.
After considering all this, I believed my daughter and converted to a vegetarian.
Amen.
I am not codoning stealing...
I simply meant that over a course of 15 years you never stated things of value were stolen. Any time you invite someone in your home to do work for you, you cannot expect them to hold back and not take anything, no matter how trivial - it's human nature. Why don't you get a service where they are bonded and usually two or more people? By the way, $70 is NOT a lot of money to pay for housekeeping. I live by myself in an apartment and pay 134.82 but I have a service. If anything gets broken or stolen I just pick up the phone and call their manager.
stealing for scrap
Just this last week there was an article in the paper that someone stole 300 bronze vases from a local cemetary.Isn't that the lowest?
I'd pay it, otherwise I'd feel as though I were stealing which just isn't right. Karma wil
x
Stealing then giving to charity?
Used the stolen money to make donations to churches?!? Who does she think she is - Robin Hood? Or was she thinking on judgement day she could say "Yeah, I did some stealing, but I gave some of it to God, so its all good"?!
Of course! Stealing? That's the oldest trick in the book. lol
I guess she figured what does she have to lose if she thought she was dying. :(
speak of spooing; ever see Stealing Harvard?
nm
Caught my housekeeper red-handed stealing from me
My household is small, just hubs and myself (with 2 pets). Hubs went out of town to visit his brothers, left early Saturday. I got my housekeeper of say the past 15 years or more to come clean up for me yesterday. Knowing that I was having a doctor's appointment today I had laid out fresh underwear to put on (this is unusual because most times I am without my undergarments but thought I better wear panties today). I put them in my first dresser drawer Saturday night, went and picked her up Sunday, started to lay out all my clothing Sunday evening and my undergarments gone. I am literally ticked beyond belief. I am about to lose a housekeeper- my husband told me for sometime that things were going missing such as things he bought, toilet paper, some forks and spoons, things like that which I normally do not see. If I let her go, I have to do the work myself (she does washing besides housework) but yet I cannot let this pass. Any ideas? I do not think I would be able to get anyone for what I pay her but cannot stand the fact of being stolen from - especially since if she needs something she could ask and I usually get for her. Ideas??
Try Benadryl, the generic is cheap. Works great, not habit-forming. NM
x
No, but I hate my lying, stealing, sociopathic brother. Does that count? NM
z
Should say the child found in Florida proved to be the Caylee child, homicide.
NM
Well...I took a break for a while but... (sm)
I left the field for a year and came back. It does get old but...so did my other job. And the other job had other problems too - you're 5 minutes late, fill out a little pink form, etc., etc. and the commute was awful. And then there are the office politics. Basically, I try to find exciting things to do when I am not working and I limit my hours. Even though I work at home, I have pretty well set hours and I try not to do other than those. I find that the earlier I get up and get going, even though I am not a morning person, the earlier I finish and the better I am able to focus while I'm working. All I can say is, the grass isn't greener anywhere else - There is a different set or problems with every job. BUT My ass is also ever-expanding haha!! And a break in the sunshine is always nice!! You don't get to do that when you work in most offices.
Oh cut me a break?
Are you kidding me?  This kind of stuff happens all of the time even when you are WATCHING them! Get a life!  To the OP, this kind of stuff happens all of the time. You are doing the right thing being at home with your child. As if..... Boy just when you think you've seen it all on this board! Someone comes on with a one-liner-NM statement like that. 
As a kid I would break them
and roll the mercury around in my hand. Little did I know that I could "glow" one of these days by doing that.
Break myself from
visiting sites like these after every 2 charts are typed.
GIVE ME A BREAK
If she can afford a Cadillac Escalade, then why is she on food stamps? This has nothing to do people who DESERVE the aid given to them in this country via food stamps or anything else. It's about the people who lie and abuse the system and YOU and I PAY for it in our taxes. Open your mind.....not your legs!!
Here's how we break down our $1000....sm
4 of us living in the house receive gifts totaling no more than $110 (including Santa gifts), so that's $440.
My husband's parents and my mom receive gifts that $50-75, so we allot $225 for the parent gifts.
My husband and I have 4 siblings & spouses between us and they receive gifts that cost no more than $25 each. That's $200.
We have 4 nephews/nieces and they're allotted $20/gift, so that's $80.
The remaining $55 is spent on the little $5 gifts for teachers, close friends and neighbors... usually we bake things or pick up nick-nack things to keep it under $5. Any gift that comes under budget has that surplus added to the gifts for us "basic 4" - which helps my husband and kids focus on watching sale ads and surfing the net for deals for decent gifts.
This year I got some incredible deals on eBay. For my husband I bought a brand new with tags still on it Ralph Lauren suit for $50, including the shipping, and another brand new suit with tags on it for $35 including shipping. For our parents we got a deal with Omaha Steaks where for $60 including shipping they receive a bunch of steaks, pork chops, potatoes and all sorts of stuff. I'm on their e-mail list and when we get notices of the "super sales" we buy most of our meat from them as many of their sales make it cheaper than the stores, and the quality of the food is superb.
Something else needs to break on your computer.
Bake him another pie! :)
What a nice break!
Only 24 hours though, seriously?! That's just too danged short!
I went there maybe 10 years ago and went to the keys...oh wow just gorgeous. LOVE the fact that there are a ton of "tiki" bars serving fruity drinks almost everywhere down there. We took our rental car and DROVE right on Daytona Beach! I dunno if you can still do that or not but it was incredibly fun!
When it was time to go home I actually cried. On the drive back to the airport we pulled over some place and took a walk through some sort of boardwalk in a swamp and saw a few spiders that were as big as my head. I got totally heebed out and deciced it was really time to go back to New England, cause that just ain't right.
Glad you had a safe trip and welcome back!
My drink on break
I think today at the mall I will order something to drink that I hate instead of getting what I like. That way I can complain. Same theory as continuing to read what one considers immature and boring in lieu of just going on and developing your own constructive topics that you like.
PJs first thing until my 1st break...
:))
Give her a break.
From her posts it sounds to me like she is just very concerned for her friend. I take it you don't have anyone that you're that close too. I have a best friend who lives across the street. We talk all the time and see each other almost every day. If all of sudden she just stopped for whatever reason I'd be very concerned. And yes, I have a life. To the OP, just keep being a friend. Hopefully once the baby is older and she starts to feel better, things will get back to normal. I don't see anything wrong with at least sending a card.
I'm on my way! Have to wait for break! NM
xx
MIL is lonely, cut her a break! nm
.
Give me a break........
You are upset by her calling a dog stupid? Goodness gracious people. Someone complains about their elderly mother with medical problems being bothered by dogs and all you can say is to not call the dog stupid. Sheesh. Some people just amaze me.
How do I break this cycle?
I admit I have spoiled my furbabies (3 cats) with treats and now I have to pay the piper so to speak. The furries are worse than children. As I sit at my desk working during the day they come and they meow and they meow and, well you get the idea. When husband is off, they are very quiet and do not approach my work space. How in the world do I break them from this addiction to the treats they have? If I shut my door they just meow outside the door so that is no help. Any suggestions? .
Spring Break
Our Spring Break is the week of the 13th. That's one of the weeks I take off from work so we can do things with the kids. Usually we take our vacation then and go away. Luckily it's usually half way decent here so at least the kids can go out and get some fresh air and play with the other kids in the neighborhood. Does your school district have any type of program for the kids during the break? Here there's a camp that the kids can go to at various locations.
Why doesn't he break up with his girlfriend?
??
Oh, lordy....gimme a break.
Where does this person LIVE???!!! Yucky, yucky, yucky...I feel gross after just reading it and picturing these things. Ptouey!! This woman needs some meds, and quick!
Robe until first break (I start at 4 am)...
then shower at 6 am and put on yoga pants and comfy shirt. Sometimes even put on a bit of make up just in case someone shows up! A bit more professional than working in robe or jammies all day!
I am sure in would break my MILs heart too but - sm
we spent the day up there for TG; my FIL spent about 10 minutes watching them play outside, then retreated to his recliner and read a book the whole day; my MIL spent absolutely no time with them at all; after all her whining that she doesn't get to see the kids much, and no she was not busy in the kitchen for the 8 hours we were there. I pointed this out to my DH because I don't think he believed me when I said the times I have gone there to spent the night there with the kids, they barely interact with them. So I am sick of their whining (my In-laws) about not spending enough time with the kids.....my MIL couldn't resist a couple digs either but I just ignored them, maybe if she had actually played with them I'd bring them up more...my BIL actually played with them most of the time....
hate to break the news but...
if I saw something like I did back in the 80s today I stil could not take a picture, cellphone wise, camera or otherwise. don’t use my cell for pictures, don’t own a camera (movie or otherwise) - I guess would just have to keep to myself as I have done for those past years, nothing to document except my word.
Need a little YouTube break from typing? - sm
Then take a mini-tour of San Francisco, the way we skaters like to enjoy it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwe8B2o7EhE&feature=related
Huh? How did you break a tooth there that you wouldn't have (sm)
anywhere else?
Hate to break your heart
When I read the first part I thought that was an odd thing to say, especially since he keeps saying it. I would say to him "why wouldn't I believe it and why do you have to keep asking if I believe you". I don't know much about the relationship (long distance-local). If (and I'm just assuming this is an if) he is long distance he might have a wife or girlfriend. You can't trust what he says if you can't see the situation with your own eyes. If he hasn't called there is definitely something wrong (hence I would start to believe he has another girlfirend or wife). Have you ever been to this persons home, seen where he lives, or any of that?
The second part of the message is what bothered me. When someone borrows money no matter how much you care about them no matter how much they borrow they should pay it back. I know you care a lot about this person, but to lend someone money is a very dangerous thing. I know from experience.
We loaned my BIL some money about 4 years ago. We helped him get out of some payday loans and I went through his budget very very carefully and spent almost 3 weeks constructing a budget for him to live on to including a separate bill for paying us back (a certain amount each month), but this budget also included some "fun money" for him - not a lot but would give him the means to go to a movie or grab a pizza once a week. Anyway...here it is 4 years later and he has only paid us back less than half of what he ows us. He keeps giving us the line "I'm good for it" "I love you guys a lot" "You know you can trust me" "I won't let you down". I keep getting these "lines" from him (and he's my BIL). My point I am saying is this is my BIL and he keeps giving me the same type of lines it sound like this person is giving you.
Please be very very cautious with this relationship and just remember, there are hundreds of other fish in the sea who you will meet and will fall in love with you and won't have to add "I hope you believe that".
So, I hate to break your heart but I think he is taking advantage of your kindness and has no intentions of anything further. If I was in your shoes I'd send this person an email ditching him, and remove the email from my contact list and have no further contact with him.
My DH's motto that he keeps instilling into me for the past 25 years.... "Trust No One".
I've had to break into my own house more than once!! nm
x
Is there an easy way to break bad news? (sm)
I've been left in charge of our finances. Last year we ran into a blip on both of our parts - DH had his problems and my workload lessening to where I wasn't bringing in as much as before. I never dreamed it would come out, but it's about to and I'm not sure how to tell him. A few times during the past year, our car payment was late, not to mention I have made arrangements with a few credit cards to pay them off through a collector. As a result, we are not qualified for a home loan until one year from now. The mortgage lady told me to straighten up our unpaid bills and come back in a year.
DH doesn't know these things and now I have to tell him. It's not one or the other, it was both of us involved, but I didn't have enough money to make payments on the credit cards, they fell behind to the point of not being able to make the payments. He's asking me to find out if we would qualify for a home loan, but I already know the answer. How do I break this to him and that we need to take a year to straighten out our credit?
Anyone every break a blood vessel in their eye. I just did and it looks awful. nm
:
Spring Break!!! Let's go to the Labrador Islands!!
nm
Would break my heart if my grandkids didn't want to come over. (sm)
Actually they truly love to take turns spending the night and being the "only one" for a while.
I don't think you should force them either. They can visit without having to be stuck there spending the night.
She should re-evaluate herself and wonder why they don't love to come see granny.
Give me a break and crawl back
into the hole you came from!
A friend called me today on my break SM
and says she and her husband visited her husband's uncle last night in a local hospital here in our town. The nurse came in and gowned and gloved and wore a mask when taking vital signs while they were there. My friend went out to the desk and asked why . . . The patient has MRSA. No sign on door, no special instructions or precautions given to the public about visiting this patient. She says they were there for about an hour or so and she touched him different times during the visit. What do you think? The souce of the MRSA is unknown at this point. I told her to call her primary care and discuss this issue with him. 
Three main reasons why marriages break up...
money, in-laws, cheating.....
FOR THE LOVE OF MIKE - GIVE HER A BREAK - SM
She's been saying she is GETTING OUT. Why don't you stop beating her up about this!
Yesterday on my break at our local mall when I
was leaving and at the door two young men about mid 20s approached me and asked directions to our county hospital and nursing home. Then they told me they had to walk because of no transportation, and that they just walked across town from a motel and were tired. After I gave the directions again one of them asked if I drive. He saw me just prior to that getting my car keys out. I told him yes. He asked if I would drive them to their destination. I told them I had to be back to work very soon, which I did. They could have been on the level, and I could have been on the new last night had I allowed both of them in my car. I felt bad when I left, thinking that I could have helped someone. What would you have done? Some years ago one night I was forced into my car by a male who followed me out to my car. That will stick with me forever. I have never been the same. Please reply. Right now I am thinking of the verse in the Bible that says something like Be aware that you may be in the presence of an angel. Did I let these angels down? Please help.
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