Staying at home and raising us kids worked for my mother
Posted By: They said what on 2009-02-16
In Reply to: I found it for you, have known because my mother did exactly this and lived out her old age - Amy
Hmm. It should be okay with me right? Oh, wait, that puts me in the welfare line which you think everyone takes advantage of.
You don't live in your mother's time. I wish you did, because the internet didn't exist then.
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I am single mother, raising my kids on my own, but not
by choice, because my husband died at a very young age and because of his illness we weer unable to get life insurance, so I am left to support them on my own. I really am upset that would even look down upon a single parent in such a way. If you want people to be open-minded to your decisions in life, I suggest you not group all single parents into some sort of welfare classification.
I was raising kids then...
And I remember the Reagan years as being good. Very good. I remember the ketchup-as-a-vegetable debate, but most people remember those years fondly.
don't agree w/U - she's 45, raising kids..regular lady..
Staying at home and sleeping it in. Have to be at work at
4:30 a.m. on New Year's Day. 
Sometimes staying is worse for the kids
I was in a similar situation for a long time. Our home became almost never peaceful due to their father's irrationality. It was an emotionally unsafe place for our 2 daughters. I'm not saying divorce is easy or always the answer, but in our case, we have had a friendly one, we are both still totally committed to co-parenting our children and everyone gets along so much better with him under another roof. My kids were 12 and 10 at the time (13 and 15 now), and we have been able to talk freely about all the issues and no one, not even my ex at this point, is happier than we ever were when we were living together. My daughters are above-average to excellent students in school, excel in music and sports and have the best relationship with both me and their dad that they have ever had. Sometimes you just got to look at a bigger picture about what is truly best for them, and then work at making sure their adjustment is paramount whether you decide to stay or decide to go. But having said that, be sure you do what is ultimately best for you too, I stayed as long as I did only because I let others try to tell me all the pat things, divorce is wrong, divorce is harmful to them, yadayadayada. Bottom line, if you are constantly unhappy, so will your kids be. Part of the reason my kids are so cool with the divorce is that they can now see me (and their father) happy. He has found a new partner, I haven't, but my happiness is not dependent on that. I go out some, but don't bring men around them to try to make a new daddy for them or anything like that. You have to decide what is right for you and for them, no matter really what anyone says. Once you have completely made that decision for yourself, you can make the rest fall into place. Best wishes to you!
Anyone have plans for the Superbowl? Staying home, going to friends, making food,
Well I figure I can make my own hours & be home when the kids are home (sm)
I worked PT in an office for a while but spent most of my money on childcare in the summer. Full-time in an office was just a nightmare and I felt like I missed a whole year of my children's lives. I want to be in control of my schedule so that's why I'm looking into the cleaning thing. Never thought I would want to do that but live and learn! Some of the most intelligent people alive work as carpenters and similar things because they have learned what's really important in life. Whew....off my soapbox now :-) Good luck to you!
Worked at hospital where a certain dictator turned a mother in for
smoking. Called family and children services. She did this on every dictation where a child involved.
Was that at DSW? If I worked outside the home,
xx
Take him home and bury him. Worked for vet, this
x
I had a dog that hated it when I worked outside the home.
She would climb up on the kitchen table and then jump over to the counter. We wondered for a long time which one of the kids was wiping a slice of bread or something across the top of the butter in the dish and leaving the lid off. Then I figured out after coming home one day to dog vomit on my kitchen table that it was dog lick marks in the butter. EWWWWW!!!! She used to go potty in the house and sleep on the furniture. I couldn't leave her outside all day in the winter so we put in a dog door. That worked OK until a city employee operating a grader drove over our back fence and she got out.
I have 3 kids and worked in preschools/daycares for 10 years
I understand that sometimes you get to your wits end and you end up spanking children, I clearly remember slapping my child's hand when he was 1 because it was a reflex when he was going to touch something dangerous. However using a switch???? that is insane and it sickens me that the poster so nonchalantly said "don't leave welts" and she would have her children undress basically saying so that the impact was harder. I don't think most people intend on abusing their children but what could happen when the parent gets out of control, when the anger and frustration get so much that you are seeing red and you don't realize what you are doing, I think that is very scary and I think that there is always a different way to discipline your children. I have gotten to the point where my kids make me so furious I see red, especially my 4 1/2 year old, I have to physically put her in her room and close the door and sometimes yes I have held it closed until we both (mainly me I am the adult) calm down. I know how hard it is to parent I just don't feel hitting is ever the answer.
Gifts from the kids on Mother's day??? (sm)
This is one that I never understood. Do you have very little children?? I raised my kids by myself and they never had a dad around to make sure they got gifts for me. They made things in school when they were little. Then as they got a little older (like even just 6 or 7) they would say they didn't make anything in school that year, and I would tell them, well then it would be nice if you make breakfast or supper for me! They always did it themselves, and I ate whatever they made. I just never understood buying something for your kids to give your wife. It's the kids' mother, not the husband's.
It would be different is the mother was asking the MIL to watch the kids...
the MIL is asking the kids to spend time with her so she should do things the kids want to do, not necessarily what she wants to do...if it was the other way around then I would agree the kids would just have to deal with things the MIL wanted to do...
I so agree...mother of 3 healthy kids
I have a similar relative who would NEVER let anyone around her girls when they were babies, whether we were sick or not. No one was allowed to even hold them. Those babies grew up to be 2 of the sickest kids I ever saw.
My mother chose my stepfather over her kids
I have been in the same situation for the last 20 years. My mother figures she only sees us once in a while, so she would rather not be alone the rest of the time. I know how much it hurts to not feel welcome in your mother's house. It shouldn't be that way.
No where either. My mother didn't raise any foolish kids. LOL nm
nm
kids at home
When I began working at home, my children were 7 and 12, and I was also a single ma, but they were old enough to not be watched every single second. At first, I had my computer in my kitchen, then my family room, which the kids were usually in if they were not outside, and I could see my back yard perfectly at either place.
I stopped often, to answer questions, help, make breakfast, lunch, etc., but when I compared my interruptions to the alternative, working at the hospital, my interruptions were worth it, especially during the summer or when they were ill. There is a fine line between letting your children feel that you are not to be bothered during work. You don't want them to ever feel that they cannot come to you with a question or problem. Sure, I remember feeling frustrated and maybe venting when I wish I could have been more patient, and I felt like some days were not near as productive as during the school year when they were in school, but it was worth it to me. Sometimes I even told them not to bother me unless they were bleeding or the house was on fire, but that is not wise.
Most of the time I remained honest with them, telling them that "mommy's gotta finish this report, honey, hold on and when I finish this report, I will talk to you."
I tried to be as proactive as possible, even though I am a huge procrastinator, and I would maybe make sandwiches ahead of time, pack a lunch for them, just like on school days.
I would use my breaks to maybe run them to a friend's house, go pick up a friend or to drop them off at the golf course (of course when they were older and not driving) and then come back home and work, sometimes maybe only an hour until it started raining.
Oh, I should probably tell you though, now they are 19 and 25, and they don't bother me at all anymore......
Do you have kids that were home
from school yesterday? I did and that's why I think today feels like Monday. Although, I haven't had the day you're having. I hope things are better this afternoon. If you have some tea around, try a cup. Sometimes it makes you feel more relaxed. Have a great afternoon!!!
Kids at home while you work? How do you (sm)
make sure they know you are "at work" even though you are right there? I have worked at home in the past but had issues with this. Mine are old enough now to be home while I work (10 & 7), but I would love any ideas of how to make sure they respect my work hours. Any ideas?
PA too and our kids were actually sent home early
due to the heat! We were never sent home for that one. Spent the day at the pool with the kids and now it's time to work.
Would you ever kick your kids out of your home?
Are your kids welcome to stay in your home for as long as they like?
My 15 year old asked if we'd ever kick him out or his older brother. I said they'd always have a home with us as long as they follow our rules.
No glad my kids are grown and out of home...
Anyone who thinks their kids are bad - well get this 3 BROTHERS here 10, 12 and 14 charged with crimes related to their breaking and entering and then completely destroying a Headstart school. They threw not only paint and other solvents over the place but also left own bodily fluids such as feces and urine, totally destroying computers, games, floors, the whole building, probably over $100,000 damage. I thank my lucky stars I do not have to even think about putting up with that.
She has 2 wonderful kids whom she home schools
They are ages 13 (boy) and 10 (girl). My sister died at age 27 of cancer and left a husband and 8 yo boy. My sister was also 6 months pregnant when they found the cancer and she lost the little girl after going to MD Anderson and all the treatment, and my sister only lived 6 months.
There is such a concern here because of my having kidney cancer and given 6 months to live, but I have been in remission for 4 years now.
My sister had breast cancer, in remission for 5 years.
I am open to any help anyone has, be it good or bad. Thanks.
Any kids with wife#2 are living at home and being
Kids should not expect to college paid for, so hubby should not pay for college for kids with wife#2 since he did not pay for college for kids with wife #1.
There's lots of things kids can do at home
all summer that are worthwhile and free. Take them to the library once every week or two and get them reading! Where I lived as a kid it was hot all day, so I read all day and played outside in the evening when it was cooler. It doesn't have to be books, either. It can be magazines, comics, or whatever. Just the 'reading' part is the key. I used to read and re-read old comic books, Life magazines, National Geographics, and books on animals and earth sciences. I also think I read Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn multiple times each during the summer.
Kids can put on a neighborhood circus (and make some cash by charging admission). They can put on a pet show. We used to have pet shows, haunted houses, dog shows, cat shows, talent contests, bike races and foot races, too, and hurdles contests.
With some scrap wood, hammers, nails, etc., (if they're not too small) they can build things. We all had tree houses in just about every large tree in the neighborhood. My friend built a go-cart, and I built a wooden wagon. I also collected rocks, and used that wagon to haul home my latest acquisitions from around the neighborhood. (Much to my mother's dismay... she apparently didn't have the 'rock-gene' that my siblings and I all seem to carry!) Starting collections of any type (even if it's not rocks) can be a fun summer pastime.
Making mud pies and cookies was fun, as was collecging pollywogs and watching them magically turn into frogs.
A job such as painting a fence (a-la Tom Sawyer) can be a messy but fun experience for kids. Or, creating a mural.
Art projects are fun, too. How about giving each kid a journal to write their private thoughts and dreams in? Or, an older child can be taught the basics of cooking or sewing, which will come in handy some day when they're older. You could also teach hand-sewing, beading, embroidery, etc., and let kids make themselves a T-shirt or tank top, shorts, etc. that is work of wearable art.
Or, how about starting a veggie garden for the kids to take care of? They could also be involved in cooking and eating what they grow.
Even though it seems useless, the down-time in the summer, spent just doing NOTHING, isn't as bad as it appears, and when kids don't have every minute booked up for planned activities, they learn to explore what's interesting to them, and amuse themselves.
its better to raise kids in a happy divorced home
To all you married moms with kids and hubby at home,
do you ever dream about living by yourself? Not just with no kids, but with no hubby either? I love my family, but when I feel overwhelmed, when life gets too stressful, I can't help but think how peaceful that kind of life would be, with just myself to take care of. Of course I know in my heart that if I was by myself I would be bored and lonely, but right now it sounds really good! It has been one of those days...
Help! Pushy parents think I work from home and can drive their kids etc
I am constantly being asked to watch people's kids because I work from home. The latest is a friend of my son attending the same camp in another town. The friend I will call Scotty. Scotty has two parents. His father works from home as a computer consultant. My friends and I have called Scotty's dad to work on our computers and he never even returns the call or shows up. Scotty's mom recently asked me if I could drive her son home from them because the dad gets busy and doesn't like to leave clients. I told her that I too am working from home and have to minimize my time in the car. Scotty does not live close to us. I feel like a big meanie but they have pushed me before. Last year our kids were not even in the same camp but the mom called and asked if I would drive and pick up her son every day because i live in the same town as the camp. I was like ??? no way.
They used to drop Scotty off at my house on school holidays. They would drop him off at 7 AM and then once the mom called me at 5 PM and said she wanted to get an oil change and asked me if I could keep scotty until 7:30 PM. I said NO and then she came to pick him up earlier but stayed at my house uninvited until 9:30 when I just said I HAVE TO GO TAKE A SHOWER.
Anyone have clever ways to handle these situations?
Grownups-My Cousin Vinnie, older kids - Home Alone One sm
A Christmas Story is our holiday favorite to watch with little kids and we love when the dogs eat the turkey and they have to go out for Chinese! We have the lamp ornament on our tree.
Poll for parents with school aged kids at home...sm
1. What ages are your kids?
2. Do they have their own cell phone?
3. Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room? If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these:
4. Do they receive an allowance? If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?
As for our house, here's the answers. Kids are 15 and 8. 15-year-old has a cell phone and pays her bill. 15-year-old has a TV. The kids share 1 PC that is where we can see what they're doing on it, and they're limited to no more than an hour a day on it if it's a school day. We do have parental controls in place. They don't receive an allowance but they are aware of a special chores list that they can choose to do extra things around the house to make money. They are required to keep their rooms and bathrooms cleaned, as well as alternate cleaning up the kitchen after dinner.
Rainy, cool, dark. Home working with plenty of work. Hubby and kids are sm
picking up toys, taking them to Goodwill. LOVE days like this.
Just because you are not raising someone
does not mean that you are not spending time with your grandson. Of course you are going to see pics of them together. She was in his life, but she did not raise him.
Yes, ANS had problems...no doubt. She had PROBLEMS though. I think all the bashing everyone does is pretty sad.
Her mom was no saint though. To say, oh she raised Daniel for 6 years so she must not be too bad is just crazy.
Honestly, you cannot base any of their characters off anything because none of you lived in their life, none of you knew them personally and knew what went on behind closed doors and not just what our twisted media decided to show you....not even I can judge their character because even what I know is limited!
Let yourself be the one on the other side of that lens one day and see how it feels to have someone judge your character. Don't believe everything you see/read....especially the crap that comes from our "news."
Raising.......... sm
We had "raising" in those days. I think that is something that seems to be disappearing from society today at an alarming rate. I can remember my mother giving me the big hairy eye if she even thought it looked like I was hinting for something. Kids today just come right out and ask for what the want....or demand it.
Sounds like my kids...on a school day "we just got home from school!" on a vacation day....sm
But this is our vacation! My husband takes vacation days and leaves town without us...lol! He would never dream of taking a day off to work around the house!
raising my hand too..sm
and personally, due to the amount of money involved in ALL professional sports, I cannot help but think that most of it is one big set up and the public is being ripped off by feeding in to it, sort of like the professional wrestling teams. that is just a thought though, and not meant to stir up any one's irrational emotions about sports. I also think they are TOO competitive and families are pushing their youngsters into sports WAY too young, just to bring in the big bucks later in life. Part of my work is for a pediatric orthopedist and a youngster of 3 years old suffering sports injuries, in my opinion, is WAY too young!
to raising my granddaughter
Thank you for all the information. I may email you as this thing goes along. What a mess for the kids. I wish the mom would get some help, but she is perfectly happy in the drug world and doesn't see a thing wrong with it. Thanks again for the info.
OK I have exp with raising beagles...sm
My husband has 10 hunting beagles in kennels. I do most of the taking care of them. I also have a pit bull and a beagle inside.
You are in a predicament. The dog definitely deserves and should be treated the best that can be provided. First of all, is she getting fed and all? Make sure she has food and water. Look on the internet and look at the pics of dogs with sarcoptic mange. Just a few months ago one of our beagles got it and looked awful. She lost her hair and scratched and had bleeding spots on her from the scratching. Some just lose spots of hair. If it has this I can tell you how to get rid of it and make the dog look like a different dog. We treat our beagles a lot ourselves. If it has mange it would need ivermectin but the problem is if it has heartworms and you wouldn't know unless you take it to the vet to check then the ivermectin would kill it. The test to check is about $30. If it does not have the heartworms then you give it a shot of ivermectin 1/10 of a mL for every 10 pounds. Make sure not to overdose. You give it once a week for 4-5 weeks. It kills the mange and most everything else it might have. But you have to be very careful because an overdose is lethal. Also to help grow the hair back you put on NuStock which can be bought at a feedstore for around $12 a tube. It has instructions on it. THe ivermectin can be bought at the feedstore too. This is for cows. That is why you only give it a very small amount. It is 30 something dollars for a thing of it. This is how I cured my husbands beagle and it worked and the dog looks great. Regrew all the hair and is very healthy. But make sure it don't have heartworms first. And weigh it to see how much to give. This is a alternative to vet care and I am telling you it works.
That's good to know, in 25 years of raising
show cats,I have never seen stud tail in a neuter, but then it could just be my breed.
latchkeying is not raising children, as you put it
latchkey children are not raised by their parents, so what are you talking about, besides the fact that you're laughing about it, which makes you sound immature as well.
Me raising another person's child?
Someone would have to be out of their minds to think (don't care if my own child) that I would raise another's child- the only way would have to be the parents no longer on this earth. I raised my 2, worked really hard to do so, working sometimes multiple jobs at a time and I be da.... if I am giving up my golden years to be blanketed by babies/young children/teenagers - not this lady.
Maybe it is..but tonight's whole show was about raising money
and DOING SOMETHING... and motivating us... and making us realize how bad things are out there for some people.
Remember when we were talking about goodsearch.com and raising money sm
for your local charity? Well, our local news broadcast got in touch with me and they want to interview me about using goodsearch! haha
I was like, "here? At my house?"
I guess they want to come over and watch me do it and show them how I use it to search for medical terms and then show how much money I've raised so far for our local charity...I'm so nervous! I would have to CLEAN like crazy, clean my desk. Ugh! I don't know, I haven't committed to it yet........But I'd like to get the word out about my charity!!
Okay, I was staying out of this until now
Philly Gal, people like you make me sick. You are working for the same reason the rest of us are, to make a living, regardless of what the money is used for. I've worked with women like you my whole life who act like they're working just to give themselves something to do. Face it "Honey," you have bills like the rest of us and if you didn't work, your perfect little life would not be nearly as wonderful.
My SO is staying here a while
before moving in permanently. The last time he was here, he always left his cell phone around - which I never checked and did not even think to do so. I heard him talking a minute or two while I was in the shower today. Then he went out for a walk but returned a short time later because it was too hot - he loves the hot weather. I have noticed that he carries that cell phone around as though it is attached to him - takes it to the shower, etc. Am I being paranoid? Any input would be appreciated!!
Then WHY are you staying? NM
b
How is them staying together better for the children?
It would have been best for the children if these too goofs had used effective birth control and not brought innocent people into the mix, but since they did the best thing for those kids is to get K-Fed out of their lives as much as possible and hopefully Britney has the sense to hire a good nanny because she's no prize either.
I say mandatory sterilization is a great idea for these two clueless, selfish, immature, irresponsible people who had no business reproducing.
My secret is staying out of the sun
and wearing a hat or slathering on a crapload of sunscreen! I got totally fried when I worked for a nursery (plants) back in the early 1990's and my ears burnt so bad they they actually got a tad deformed around the edges! I love outdoors time but I'll be darned if the sun is gonna be the cause of my demise!
Besides, I'm a superfreak when it comes to medical stuff. I love researching all sorts of medical crap and that nasty IUD just stuck in my head from my days in Anatomy and Physiology 101.
I also have a fetish for bugs too and someday, before I die, I'd love to play entomologist or something queer like that.
But- she is still questiong about staying?
What is the question? He was an older guy trying to molest children- what question does she have? None that I can see.
What's your trick for staying awake? (sm)
I don't sleep well at night, even with taking a pill, and during the day lately I'm finding it harder and harder to say awake. I've had 2 caffeinated beverages but that's not helping. Smacking my face isn't helping. It's killing my line count. Right now I have a clothes pin on my earlobe causing just enough pain to keep me momentarily alert, but I don't expect this to last. Any suggestions?
How about staying overnight at somebody's house
or even in a hotel, and not being able to figure out the shower controls. I don't know why a shower fixture designer would be so mean as to hide basic controls, but one design that has stumped me turned out to be a little ring that appeared to be a nonmoving part of the faucet, that had to be pulled upward. If you couldn't find it, you couldn't get the water to go from the lower faucet up to the showerhead. Furthermore, all the control it gave you was on or off, instead of being able to control water pressure.
Sheez, why the secret? It's not as if it is even an attractive design!
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