Sounds like a personality disorder
Posted By: eaw on 2008-01-09
In Reply to: Behavior changes in husband - A little worried
to me. Perhaps Borderline Personality Disorder, or personality disorder NOS. Maybe, though, it is hormonal. An abundance in testosterone CAN cause aggressive behavior, mood fluctuations, etc.
I hope you get to the root of the problem. But, the main thing that concerns me is his unwillingness to be evaluated or even admit that there may be a problem. This is what leads me to believe it's a personality disorder (borderline). People afflicted with this and anti-social personality disorder often do not admit that anything is off keel with themselves. Rather, it's alway's *someone else's* problem/matter/issue.
Good luck to you. I'll be thinking of you. Please keep us posted. The erratic behavior is really concerning.
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no one changes their personality..
wake up now before its too late. I'm just a few years older than you and I'm glad I didn't settle for something less than what I expected. Sure you have to think of your children and that is 1 more reason not to put up with crap. Best of luck to you though.
pit personality
You know when my male pit that is inside turned a year and a half old he got real protective over us & VERY dog aggressive. There is no doubt in my mind he wouldn't kill another dog because he is just a completely different dog when he sees a strange dog he doesn't know. BUT there is no way he would turn that aggression towards us. AND I knew he was going to more than likely be that way because he has Boudreaux bloodline & his mother was aggressive. But that didn't keep me from falling in love with him or owning him. I just have to be careful that he doesn't come in contact with another dog. He has a fenced in yard and if another dog approaches the fence I give him his command to come inside & he does so. All too often this type aggression that some pits can display gets mistaken for people aggression, but these are two totally different things.
personality/alcohol
Both, I think. Alcohol makes personality traits creep out from under the woodwork. Surly, sarcastic, belittling, called me four letter words in front of the kids. Yes, I consider the way he talks to you to be abuse, especially if this is how he talks to you most of the time. Of course, everything was my fault. An alcoholic does no wrong. It is never their fault, even when they are down to their last dime with no family left. My children were 14 and 16. However, they did not go with me. He had brainwashed them into thinking that he was the only one who could provide for them, that I could only work for minimus wage and that they would have nothing without him. I stayed in the same town, we had joint custody, he had residential. He has since died and my kids and I are fine.
No. It's a personality type to try to fix
things. A fixer (a male trait that some women have) doesn't realize it when a person is just asking for sympathy, not actual help. They think that by coming up with a practical solution, in this case, an honest way for you to make some cash and everybody to enjoy a little pampering for a small price, she has helped solve your problem. She has no idea this would be offensive and hurtful to you. If you complain she will be shocked because she honestly thought you were asking for help.
I had to figure this out because I have this trait and it's really hard for me to tell if somebody wants help or just a pity party.
Pitbulls personality
I totally sympathize with you. Sorry for you having to go through this. I really try to urge people when they get a pitbull to really get to know the mom/dad personalities & the breeder. Like I said in an earlier post my male pitbull that is inside is VERY dog aggressive BUT on the flip side he is the most gentle loving dog I have ever owned. He just doesn't like other animals, ESPECIALLY dogs. We have a fenced in yard though. If he come in contact with an unfamiliar dog he would definitely be in kill mode with his aggression. BUT I knew what I was getting myself into cuz he is Boudreaux bloodline & his mother was aggressive. His father was an absolute sweetheart to anything. I knew that aggression would probably surface up in my dog & it did at a year and a half old, but I wouldn't ever trade him up for anything in this world. He wouldn't dare turn on us, and I know that animal or dog aggression is not people aggression. I do have a great respect for what could happen if I let it happen, but I am responsible enough to know what my dogs like & don't like & I never have a problem out of them. They are definitely a vital part of our family & we love them dearly.
she may have a passive personality, is all.
nm
My hormones rule my personality
and I'm tired of it also. I have many problems with ovarian cysts, etc. I believe if you have problems like these, it is worse. I never know what kind of mood I'll be in, and neither does anyone else :) One minute I can be laughing and the next I'll be screaming in anger. There are a lot of natural things out there they say help, I have not tried any but may do that soon. Here's just one article I found....
http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/womenshealth/a/PMS.htm
Personality wise? I am probably most like Blanche! LOL
x
I wish I had an eating disorder
for one think it would be pretty cool. I just want to get more attention from my man, friends and family members who don't pay enough attention. When I pick up the mags I see all the thin models like Nicole Ritchie and Ms. Hilton. They are stars for being super thin. I know I can't reach that fame but if I look thin I know I will have more options. I know some of you won't agree with me but that is the way society is going. Get thin or die trying.
Eating Disorder
My 22-year-old niece has an eating disorder. Her Cardiologist sent her home to die. She is in a wheelchair now. The doctors give her less than 6 months to live. Be careful for what you wish for. Skinny is NOT worth dying for. Your post is so sad.
Ah, so you have the other disorder, you know, the one where you are delusional? LOL
x
alcoholics have personality changes; talk to AA group
nm
Maybe you do have an eating disorder. You don't have to be thin
to have one. If your weight is an issue you the one that has the power to change it. Been overweight all of my entire life, but this is the year I'm determined to tackle it. Just too bad I didn't do it 20 years ago.
And Kim has a panic disorder and is agoraphobic.
It's no secret she has a bunch of mental disoders. As I said, the poor kid. Can't win.
somatization disorder website
www.cfsdoc.org/somat.htm
this is the one I was referrring to.
you don't have to be skinny to have an eating disorder
and even though it sounds like you hurt your metabolism you CAN lose weight. it's all about calories in, calories out.
Katya had retinoblastoma - this one had a seizure disorder.
nm
Have any of you been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder?
I have within the last week or so. Just wondering what meds your doc put you in and if it is helping and how long it helped all of your symptoms. I guess I was expecting "a feel-good feeling", too, but not really. The anxiety is definitely better. Had gone to the ER 3 times in less than a week, thinking it was my heart, but not.
Any help would be appreciated.
Young child and eating disorder?
I am wondering if there is something wrong with my stepson. I've been married to my hubby now for over a year, but his stepson still will not get close to me and I have stopped trying. I already feel like he has some developmental problems, as well as learning difficulties (he failed kindergarten). I just wonder can a young child have some type of eating disorder or do all kids do this? He will go a day or two and not eat anything and you cannot make him eat and then the next day, you can't fill him up. It is every 30 minutes he is asking my hubby for something to eat. And I cook a 3-course dinner every night so he has the opportunity to eat and I fix things he likes. Sometimes the only way my hubby can make him eat is if he tells him he'll carry him to the doctor if he doesn't eat. He's almost like an anorexic. He'll go a few days and hardly eat anything and then for a day or two, he binges. And he is very skinny and small for his age. And also sickly. His nose is always stuffy and you can hear him breathing. Just want some opinions on this. Thanks.
I have cleaned my house and now I have adjustment disorder sm
I have been working on my bathroom remodel since Memorial Day. It should have taken 4 weekends and I only just finished on Thanksgiving Day. I did 95% of myself, including cutting holes for and installing, 2 sinks in the vanity. I am pleased, it is gorgeous, but that is another story.
Okay, I put my bedroom back together after 6 months of being a disheveled PIT. I am cleaning the house because my daughter will be home in a couple of weeks to get married at the JP in a nearby town. I still have to make her a dress too...but I wanted the house clean for she and her fiance/husband. It is coming along very well.
My problem? I can't manage a house where I am not stepping over crap on the floor, shifting stuff around so I can get to my clothes or go to bed. This is all new to me, clean floor space and no dust, a place for everything and everything in its place...I can't cope. It is clean AND tidy, the antique linens are pressed and starched, on the surfaces. IT is lovely!!!!
I am depressed now. I don't adjust well to change.
Why would you call a cat with a seizure disorder a loser???
Would you call a human with epilepsy a loser too??? Wow.
twins nor triplets would be born at same minute. must be split personality, LOL! nm
;
Food Network TV personality...host of Good Eats.
 Great show...he blends science with food. It's perfect for those of us with attention-span-holding issues!
Your son has ADHD, probably combined type along with opposition defiant disorder in a nutshell...sm
Been there for 14 years. Tantrums, fighting constantly with younger brother and sister to the point of injury, i.e. kicking, punching, slapping, throwing hammers, knifes, hard soled shoes, scissors, you name it. He is wonderful outside of the house. He is considered a very nice boy who is very well mannered and a hard worker (as he likes to do yardwork. That part of it is the ADHD at work). I knew something was wrong when he was about 1 1/2 years old and his sister came along and he started hitting her right away. Everyone from teachers to counselors told me it was all my fault and that my son had found a great way of manipulating me. That is...until the fourth grade when two weeks after school started a miraculous thing happened. His teacher called me in to say something was terribly wrong and that she suspected ADHD. I got the referral for testing with a pediatric neurologist and he was diagnosed with ADHD combined type (the hyperactive part), oppositional defiant disorder, and a learning disability. It has been a tortuous 14 years, I can tell you that. I have four more years to go and although I love my son more than words can say, at the age of 18 HE IS OUT THE DOOR!!!
You may be, from the sounds of your posts, sounds like an *illegal*
and that in itself is a crime. Nobody else would take 65.00 for an entire day slaving/laundry, heavy cleaning, etc. LOL. Nah, I don't think so. I'm just saying, what it sounds like to me. : )
He sounds wonderful...sounds like you two have a relationship (sm)
based on love and nothing superficial at all. I'm glad you appreciate him and are so grateful for him. Best wishes & continued happiness to you both :-)
Sounds like you are doing everything right...
Hang in there. It sounds to like you are doing everything right. I totally agree that kids are under too much pressure these days and that they certainly need to be given more time to just be kids. Being a single mom I try make sure that my children grow up to be responsible adults with good morals and values, but I also make sure that they have their space so they have a chance to make their own choices (when possible) and see the consequences of those choices. Being a parent is certainly not easy and doing it in today's society is stressful to say the least.
As for your neighbor, I think she could take some lessons from you. Good luck and keep your chin up!!!
Sounds to me like . . .
she has the attention she wanted, it's almost like you took her bait. She sent you nasty Emails and now you are begging her to forgive you. You know the the saying "Don't cast pearls before swine". Sounds like she can more easily respond to the negative rather than the positive. Anyway, what would you do if she forgave you? Be her friend again? Until she changes her heart, you're better off, keep your distance. She sees your goodness as weakness. It's probably fun for her to make you uncomfortable. Maybe deep down she is jealous of you. Don't hate her, be sad for her. Don't fall into her games.
sounds like a CC I used to have, which did--sm
pretty much the same thing. They said it was their *annual fee* and, like you, I just paid it to keep the peace and close the account. Personally I think it is a scam just to get a few more dollars out of you, but how do you prove it and who do you complain to??? I don't have credit cards any longer either. Learned my lesson too. what a rip!
Sounds like (sm)
your FIL has two abled bodies to care for him already. Why should you go back? It would probably be nice if you checked in once in a while and took your 2-year-old to visit, but moving back sounds like it would put a strain on things. Your husband may be feeling guilty and feels the need to "help". Explain to him that helping is taking some groceries once in a while or offering to pick-up meds, etc. You, your husband, and child would be probably a breath of fresh air once in a while if you were to just visit on occasion. Moving back seems a little like overkill, but it is tough because when it is family you want to give it your all! Also, there is one in every family that "freeloads". Let them figure it out for now. Hope your FIL is feeling better soon and hope you can find your way to be helpful without having to sacrifice your new home.... Take care and good luck...
sounds mean . . .sm
but when my daughter and husband were pulling that on me I told my daughter it was not safe that she could die very easily in the front seat or get hurt very badly. She quit asking, daddy quit doing it. Now she is 12-1/2 and no problem there, she is 5Ƌ" and weighs about 130 pounds. But I used to get SO FRUSTRATED!!! Daddy's little girl . . . .
Don't know that one, but it sounds sm
like a good time. if you are in for an evening away from the parks. I have friends who own Sleuth's dinner theater. Three theaters, dinner included, plus one is only for kids, I think. You enjoy a great dinner, and a murder mystery play, where you take part in solving the mystery. It is right on Universal Drive and I think the website is sleuths.com
sounds like your going to anyway.
but i would urge you to proceed with caution, go very very slowly. When it seems too perfect, too good to be true, it may be wrong. One of my first thoughts is that if he is the spiritual man you think, ie, Christian, he might not have had 2 divorces -- not always the case, but often times. you both need to know what your own faults are and be careful to not make the same mistakes. More than anything (outside of knowing each other very well, nonintimately) is have real committment on both sides, the determination to stay with the marriage. i married a man with 2 divorces too -- 25 yr later we're still married. But it was sheer determination to make it work on my part, lots of prayer and such. I did endure what one should not have to, to get to this point. Once i was into it, i certainly understood how come he had been divorced twice. Wishing you the best.
Sounds like now as of this a.m.
Apparently the so-called lawyer owns a business called Hot Lips Smoochy or something like that and has never tried any cases at all. He is apparently the executor of her estate. Now isn't that convenient? He tells the photographer Daddy that she lost the baby, but she winds up having a baby anyway 9 months later. The photographer breaks it off with her because she is drinking while pregnant. Oh my, the gossip. She looks like she's all drugged-up on any interviews I've seen, and I saw one last night from 3 days before her death. She is wearing dark glasses for the first part (inside), and they go outside, and she takes the glasses off. Makes no sense. I don't know, but what does Granny want with the baby now? That poor baby! So many Daddies?????? I have never seen men trying to prove they ARE the father in all of my life? Twists and turns this story has, which I'm sure has the producers in Hollywood salivating. There will be books and there will be moves. Life happens, I guess.
It sounds to me like you are not even willing --sm
to compromise on this and want everything YOUR way. What arrangement does HE want? Do you even know? You never said what HE would like. It is just my opinion, but it does not sound like you are even ready to get married, if you cannot find a way to compromise on even this small detail. Good luck to you.
Sounds to me like you were just being
very thoughtful, and I bet he appreciates you as much as you seem to appreciate him. What a wonderful thing!
She sounds like quite a gal . . .
especially the part about being a practicing Buddhist. She probably marched to the beat of a different drummer. The doctors might have saved her but who knows what quality of life she might have. My mom, dad, aunts all were healthy until their 80s. They end up in a nursing home. My aunt is 90, she's really been dying for a year, they keep on prolonging it. I think death at some point may be a blessing. You're going through a mourning process. Your tears are for you, you'll miss her, she'll be in a better place. You are going to have to brace up and take comfort in your faith.
Actually should be It sounds.....nm
nm
sounds like my SIL
We had a chow years ago. We raised him from a pup and he was very protective of all of us but especially the kids. ANY kids for that matter.
The kids in the yard, someone comes up the driveway, he was there. Would not let anyone get between him and those kids. Didn't matter if they were our kids or their friends. He never bit anyone but he wasn't going to let anyone take "his" kids either.
Never did that to the parents of the kids either, just total strangers that he didn't know. For Chow's, he had an exceptional personality and never saw him so much as growl at anyone. He would bark but would back away as he was barking.
My SIL's chow is a rescue so who knows how he was raised.
She just sounds like someone who has --sm
to pick and pick until she starts an arguement. Try to ignore her. If you don't give her what she wants, she will go away. just my opinion.
sounds like it to me . . .
I've seen two physicians recently, one who specializes in anxiety, and they think the crude policy under my current company of having to "make up" any time I take off is burning me out, promotes physical and mental self-neglect and is fueling an anxiety disorder. "That's sick," is actually what one said, and put me on a mild anxiolytic temporarily and told me to find a way out. The company says "everyone else does it" like I'm some kind of freak or bad MT, but in talking to other MTs there I'm finding the majority saying no they're not or they are frying themselves out doing it and have also complained about it. Having to always "make up" a day off is not a day off and does not promote rest. I'm having to learn to take the doctors' advice I'm typing for, letting go and taking care of myself. :-) The consequences of not doing so are much more dire. It kills me they have an EAP program. Seems to me investing in just letting people have a life would be more efficient. Recently bought out, the new company acted like it was a plus to keep this crappy policy. Yeah, right.
I'm really, really close to singing "Take this job and shove it . . . " Shame, because it's an otherwise decent company, um, unless you want a life.
Watching all my family enjoy this weekend as a 3-day weekend while I type. Sometimes I wake up and cry before starting work because I feel like I can't get a break from this job without consequences.
WORDS OF WISDOM: When applying for an MT job, ASK CAREFULLY about the EXACT way "time off" is calculated and quiz their MTs, not the administrative people who have never done MT. What looks good on paper . . .
Sounds like they don’t have a pot to
pi..s… in. These sound like grown folks and I do not consider myself a bank, therefore do not loan money out even to my grown KIDS. Only could a child move in with me if they were sick and unable to take care of their own self. Sounds like they have no responsibility about financial business. Sorry they would just have to do things on their own. Loaning money (or giving it away, whatever the case is) only makes relationships strained. I do not sign as collateral for anyone, do not take stray folks in, do not run a banking business.
sounds
That sounds very pretty. You can also do just a border around the top of the wall with the sponge paint effect. That way it keeps it from being too much green!
Sounds to me like
although getting paid, maybe not the right 1 to be trying to watch the kids. I am a grandmother myself. This sounds like she is irritated by their actions and maybe they did kick her more than you OR maybe with her older legs it just hurts her more. My legs now are a lot different from when I had children as far as the aches and pains, even bruises and sometimes cuts just show up without your knowing where they exactly came from. Yes, she is offended they said something about her legs (even though on the 7 year old I would know probably too young to really understand what the veins were) but she is getting back at them now and trying to get her point across - even if they arent understanding she is trying to make them understand. I don’t see this as a really workable situation. It has been 2 weeks and already everyone at everyone else. Not a good situation. Pretty soon grandmom and kids just doing tit for TAT at each other. Maybe a good sit down and talk it over or else grandmom goes back home and you get someone who is a little younger and able to corral the kids better?
Sounds like you are doing everything right to me - sm
I lived at home for years as it was too expensive to get your own place where my parents were unless you had a really, really good income, which I did not have unfortunately. I did not have a firm curfew once I went to college but it was understood they prefered I be home by 1 a.m. which I ususally abided by, if I knew I was going to be out later I told them, or if I was not coming home at all, I told them. They always knew who I was out with too, and the general plan for the evening. I never really resented it, yeah it was a drag sometimes but at least they cared enough to ask and try and keep me out of trouble (they don't know half of the stupid stuff I did do and never got in trouble for; i.e. going out with stranger met in a parking lot, that sort of stuff, nothing criminal). One thing that will stop her from staying out really late is make her get a summer job, that is one thing that kept me from staying out all hours, sleep was necessary to get up at 6:45 and be at work at 8:00 (til 5pm). My parents paid my tuition but I paid for all the supplies, books, etc., and I also worked 2 jobs at school. Sounds like she needs something to keep her busy and grow up some. If she does not shape up, pull the car privileges unless it is to go to work, and have her pay her own car insurance and cell phone, that may wise her up to life.
Sounds like when I got...sm
a Christmas card from a friend AFTER Christmas. I still don't know what was up with that.
BTW~ My friends threw me a surprise birthday brunch today for my 40th birthday and I have already started writing my thank you notes!
Sounds like her first kid and she has never
been around others to me.
Wow - that sounds so much like him (sm)
He left me alone after my c-section, he left me alone when I got devastating medical news, etc. Once I had a car accident a mile away and he would not come and help me after I called him all shaken up. When I mention these things he just accuses me of bringing up the past. But they are real examples of how I have been treated for years.
Sounds like me and my cat - (sm)
I went through something similar as you are going through with yours. I kept saying I'd know when it was time and really watching to make sure I wasn't being selfish. She went on about her business, albeit different from before, just made herself new routines, and did what she was able. When she couldn't jump on my lap anymore, I picked her up, and things like that. If she didn't like one can of food, I'd open another. This went on for months. I feel like I had the opportunity to let her have a good life, and show her how much I loved her, right up until the end - she decided when it was time. I know what you are feeling. Just love her and enjoy the time you have.
Thanks - really sounds like just what I need (nm)
x
Sounds to me like you have
approval addiction. I have it as well and know how you feel. If you don't do everything perfect for everybody you feel guilty. I suggest either reading or buying the audio of the book Approval Addiction by Joyce Meyers. It is wonderful!!
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