Sorry, I was upset at the time I wrote the original post
Posted By: Original poster on 2008-11-05
In Reply to: I can't follow this for the - life of me !!! (nm)
Basically, I sent a voided Wal-Mart check to a creditor by mistake and they cashed it and the bank let it go through both times. I called them on it. I was thinking that someone must have found that check and cashed it again. At the time, I did not realize my mistake. They then cancelled the payment to Wal-Mart, don't know why, and now Wal-Mart is treating it like I wrote a hot check. They added $30 to the original amount.
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First off, I was very upset when I wrote
the original post. Sending my son to a boys' home is obviously a last resort. I don't mean an orphanage or foster care. I mean a facility that can help to retrain him if I can't. I love my son very much. I would rather suffer the pains and guilt of having to send him to a reformity, then to watch him grow up into someone who would hurt someone else and ruin the rest of his life. I love all of my children equally.
Secondly, when I took my child to the child psychologist, I had several visits with him first to see if there was something I was doing wrong. I continued to attend each session with my child, including private sessions for myself after his meeting with my son.
Thirdly, your comments were not helpful, just nasty, and that's not the kind of help I was looking for. Anyone who's ever been in this situation already feels inadequate as a parent and doesn't need someone else to slam them. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy day to do just that.
About my mom, from post below - so upset! sm
My daughter's friend's mom just informed me that my mother told her daughter (and mine) that she had been chased by a demon and had seen demons and ghosts. When my daughter told my mom she didn't believe her, my mother took out a Bible and swore on the Bible that it was true. She has the little girl so scared she won't sleep in her own bed and won't go to the bathroom by herself. I called my mom and asked her why she would do this. She said it was the girls fault because they didn't believe her so she had to swear on the Bible to prove it to them. I asked her if while she was saying all these things, she was unaware of all the times I have asked her not to say these types of things, and if she really did not know she was saying something I wouldn't want her to say. She said she guessed she did know and that maybe she shouldn't come to my house anymore if she is going to upset people (patheticically) so I said if she can't honor my requests as the mother in this house then I guess she shouldn't come back. I just feel so bad though, so bad.
I did do that a long time ago for GI upset.
She liked it and I can't remember now what her poops were like so I guess they were probably more normal as I didn't notice it.
I'll try it again, I think. Thanks.
That is not what you indicated in your original post and is why you
t
sorry. I did not see your original post..sm
I never said it was impossible to find an honorable man and good relationship, and I do not believe any body else did either, that I recall. As I said, I wish her all the best, and if this person is the right one for her, that is wonderful! But it also seemed that a lot of others were pushing her to rush into a relationship simply to *feel the spark of a new love*. Although that *spark* is a wonderful thing sometimes, it can also blind one to some smaller signs of impending doom, and the six years down the road, they are back on the message board asking what happened and wondering why they did not see it coming. I know that bad things do not always happen, but you have to admit that in today's society, more bad has been happening recently than good. Just expressing caution, and nothing more. JMO. Oh, by the way, I am happy for your relationship too. You are very lucky and one of few, these days.
Like I said in the original post, to say anything
would not be believed by anyone in DIL's family, my son, the g-children, aunts, her mother so I should say? To say to my son, your wife stole $20.00 from me" would be met with denials, to say she helped to put a ding on my credit for 7 years would be what her mother told me - she wouldn't do something like that. You can say what you said about speaking out but you do not know how these people are. It is like a cult- when you would get together 1 child that belonged to 1 family belonged to all. An aunt might chastise or discipline her niece/nephew like she would her own. Most of us with children just see after our children, not all other children that might be in our family-we leave that to their parents. These are my only 2 g-children, doubt if I will have others but I kept quiet and do now because my word would never be believed, then nor now. I remember 1 time a cousin of DILs had gotten broken leg. I took the DIL to the hospital. Every member of the family was there- the great-gparents, the g-parents, aunts, uncles, parents, the immediate cousins and the 2nd cousins -the hospital had so many people they had to ask them to leave! Another time the great-gparent died- the children all wanted to spend the night at the funeral home. The home started running vacuum, switching light off and on and they did not get the idea to leave! They HAD to be asked to please leave for the night! They wanted to stay the night with the deceased....You just do not know the close-knit (cult) family these folks have.
according to the original post
They took in their son's best friend, not a stranger. I agree with the other posters, your house your rules. I think you are doing the right thing by doing whatever you can to keep them apart. If they really want to be together they will be together outside of your home.
All I did was replace the original post.
/
I read my original post again and ---
I know I said I hate the dog, but that was a figure of speech - I hate the things he does to my house!
I brought him home at 10 ounces and have put up with his doings for 4-1/2 years - he's not going anywhere!
The original post seems to have gone missing
so the answer now is to another posting, BTW.
In her original post (page 3)
she says that they did try to tell her at the time and she "chose to believe him" so actually it sounds like she has questioned him about this before.
Did you read the original post at all?
She lives in an assocation. Anything to start flaming. Ridiculous. I am too old to be shock by dog poop or anything idio.. say on this board
did you not read my original post? sm
I said if they were in school I would not charge them. The other poster had a girl in school who did pay rent and that is fine if that is what they want.
You need to learn how to read posts before you jump down my throat. You got the wrong person.
did you not read my original post? sm
I said if they were in school I would not charge them. The other poster had a girl in school who did pay rent and that is fine if that is what they want.
You need to learn how to read posts before you jump down my throat. You got the wrong person.
I was actually responding to pc, the poster just below your original post.
/
Thanks for your input. I shoulda put in my original post .. sm
the components of chittlins and mauls.
Hey I know,
Thanks for clearing the way out there....Been down here so long that when my kids (grown men) and hubby ask for certain things, and a deer leg lands on my doorstep, I just can't waste anything.  Cat
I didn't read anything in the original post
about expecting gushing or groveling. One of the things she did say was that she usually got gifts that the receiver picked out and then was just discarded or sold. I agree with the other posts, give gift cards.
I remember your original post and found the
Flylady. I have her marked for favorites but I really haven't had time to absorb her information and get into it. It sounds like it really worked for you so this week i'll see about really getting into it and signing up for her newsletters also!
Like I said before, Kendra, READ THE ORIGINAL POST.
Sheesh.....!
Your post did not change my original thoughts
I read it and understood very well. This person on a break ran into 2 strangers who said they had walked from some distance, asking about catching a ride somewhere, asking her about a ride and she responds with asking a bunch of people she does not basically know about whether she did the right thing, they might have been angels in disguise. What is there not to understand about this? Sounds like a young girl asking for acceptance. A grown woman, with common sense, would not even second guess and then to return and make out a report at a shopping mall about someone asking for a ride was just a laugh. As in my original, she needs a guardian if she knows no better than this.
Gosh, I went back to the original post
to see what she looked like previously. The woman looks like a crackhead and looks like she has been on the streets for a long time, rugged, drugged out, really bad looking for a woman only 55. My 89-year-old dad looks younger than that.
I left a couple of things off my original post...sm
1. I will wear this bracelet because of the thought of the time she took finding it and the parts for it. Usually she gets me things I do enjoy for gifts.
2. We do have a great relationship. Her mom died when she was small and we're close. I know I'm lucky that we have a good relationship.
For those who slammed me and thought I was ungrateful - I'm sure you've all over time received gifts that you weren't wild about (hence all of the returns/exchanges at stores after Christmas). As I said, my other gifts were great ones and things that are of the caliber I like.
Right now 120 people have read your original post in this thread
So that's 120 people that do not mind versus the few that complained. Keep writing. I get a kick out the stories of your little dog. It is better than the fighting and name calling that goes on other boards. Even my kids stopped doing that in middle school.
Excuse me? The original post said absolutely nothing about her mother being SM
ill. I knew nothing about anyone's mother suffering because of dog barking. Dogs and pets need to be owned by responsible people and there would be no such problem in any event.
The original Halloween, the original Exorcist and the first Phantasm...
today's are too computer generated and phony. Not enough scare factor for me!
How do you add an avatar and do you hae to do that each time you post?
nm
That's okay, thanks for taking the time to post.
But look at all the attention you get every time you post about it. sm
As Dr. Phil would say, you're getting something out of this drama. You're getting all kinds of attention and pity. You spend a lot of time recounting all the details of every encounter on here.
Next time please post your answer inside
before getting your answer inside our heads. Thanks! 
Hello..You could have written my post. The jelaousy bug..Gets the good ones all the time!!! nm
n
Amen. Well said...whoever wrote this. thx. nm
nm
could have wrote you note but sm
I have a daughter that is a sophmore.Wamted this certain college. Could not convince to stay in state. It costs her 10,000 dollars more being out of state. She goes from wanting to b there to not wanting to be there to liking it it to hating it It depends on what day you talk to her. Joined the band dropped out, had problem with boyfriend moved across the campus, than they started dating again, then he ends it. She gets upset wants to come home. I get a phone call every night. Everytime we decide to have her transfer or come home she decides to stay. Has changed her major three times. What worries me is she is on Student loans that she will be responsible to pay when she graduates. If she leaves college she will have to start paying immediately, where she would have 10 years if the stays in college. This month she is already over 80 minutes on the cell phone and there is two weeks more to go. She spends hours talking to the ex-boyfriend and they are on the same campus. My husband and I are going to talk to a therapist about this because I want to do tough love. Hang up when she calls crying at 11 p.m. Telling her if she does not get her act together she will have no choice to leave etc. He is the softy. Nothing makes her happy.
By any chance is your son going to a college in New England.
Wrote down the info...thanks. nm
!
You must be my twin because you just wrote
everything about me to a T!!! I've been in a quandry for quite some time about what I should do.
I was one who wrote below about finding SM
love after divorce. I believe there are good men out there, but they are hard to find, especially the older one gets. I think the key is letting him find you, but it doesn't mean you can't put yourself out there.
OK. What I think about problem men have in marriages. I'm speaking about my own here. I was the only girl he ever dated. He asked me to marry him and I said yes. He knew it was mistake, but was devout Catholic and just stayed married, but decided he would still like to be single, so he began cheating on me. As for me, I loved him for a long, long time. When I see him at family events, I wonder why! LOL!!!!
hih? truth? whose? Men who wrote Bibles?
I have not read but others wrote yet but you just need to stop - sm
you have done all you can do and have bent over backwards to help. Your guilt will be your downfall. I don't know how to tell you to stop feeling guilty, but you really have nothing to feel guilty about. You have done way too much for her and she has just taken advantage. She is 19 more than old enough to take care of herself. She wants to be homeless and can adapt as you say to any situation, then let her. I would just tell her the gravy train stops now and she has to learn how to take care of herself. Get some names of some shelters to give her, the YWCA, etc. and if she really wants to help herself she can start there but she is going to have to do it on her own now. If the worsed happens you know you have done all that one person can possibly do; but if she does not want to help herself (and it is obvious she does not) then there really is nothing you or anyone else can do. You need to steel yourself not to give in and basically cut off all contact until she proves w/o a doubt that she has cleaned up her act which will take at least 6 months if not more I would think. If you don't have caller ID then get it, otherwise let your answering machine answer all calls and just don't take hers or return her calls either. Good luck.
That wife you wrote about sounds like me! LOL! SM
I was married to a man who cheated for years. I was in total denial. After close to 30 years, I up and left. Best thing I ever did.
Just want to acknowledge point that men don't leave. If they are in a long marriage, and have been getting away with cheating for a long time, AND there is a lot of money involved, what with houses, pensions, savings, etc., THEY DON'T LEAVE.
I admire both your honesty. Good luck.
just wrote a long reply`
put stu@pid in it and it said I used bad language and to go back and it deleated my whole darn thing, will write back soon, behind in work, but have some comments to make later. Good to see you back Hayseed.
No when I originally wrote the check
The check was a voided check to Wal-Mart and the Loan company, CNH Capital, knew that and cashed it anyway. I thought it was illegal for someone cash a check that did not belong to them.
I can't believe you just wrote it's not okay for your kids to make mistakes.
"Just becuase UGU all forget things and make mistakes does not mean that my children need to be raised to think it's ok to do so."
Good god, I hope I never meet you or anyone else with your twisted sense of right and wrong.
no, nobody knows but the bank, they will cover checks you wrote
nm
Totally disagree with one thing you wrote. sm
You Wrote:
Yes, there are bad breeders, but there are far more good ones. In my 18 years in the cat fancy, I have seen some bad ones, *but the good ones far outweigh the bad.*
If only that were true. *sigh* Maybe you're talking about in the show world. It probably is true there, but that is such a teeny, tiny part of the whole picture.
In reality, outside of the show world, there are far, far, far more BAD 'breeders' out there, though I'm using the word 'breeder' loosely, to include backyard breeders (type that into Google if you're not familiar w/the term - I don't mean you, gd1, as I'm sure you know all about it!), puppy mills, and pet stores, and that is were the majority of the pet overpopulation problem comes from.
I wish only the reputable, ethical 'show breeders' of dogs and cats were the only ones doing any breeding. If that were the case, there would be little to no problem, as they are the caretakers of their breeds and are concerned with bettering the breed, only breeding animals with excellent health, conformation, and temperament - not just $$$ by cranking out puppies/kittens, or letting their dog/cat have a litter for the kids to see or because 'everyone wants one of her puppies/kittens!' or whatever.
I don't know if mandatory spaying/neutering is the answer or not. I do know it's being seriously considered in my state (CA), and there would be exceptions for hobby/show breeders, breeders of service dogs, search and rescue dogs, etc.
But I have a feeling people would find some way around it, and I imagine disreputable people (gag) in neighboring states would start to crank up 'production' if there were any kind of 'shortage' here. Makes me ill...
I also don't know how mandatory spay/neut. could be enforced. Animal control here (huge county) admitted on the news that only about 25% of pets are licensed.
I think I'm in favor of it, overall though, at least to give it a try and with exceptions available for *some* breeders, as I mentioned above.
I did breed rescue for 6 years, and I've been to more shelters and seen more animals there than I care to recall. It's absolutely sickening the number of perfectly nice animals destroyed, simply for lack of a home. A shocking number (about 25-30%) are young, healthy purebreds that cost the original owner a pretty penny, so even that doesn't guarantee a home.
The poster wrote 4 sentences on an MT forum.
You don't know her, can't judge her. This place is getting so catty and ridiculous.
You did your rant, laughed your ___ off and wrote off your Mom and Grandmom!
You have a lot to learn. When they are dead, you will realize it didn't really mean a thing except that you "wrote them off" and laughed your A@@ off at any suggestion that you should make peace with your Mom at Christmas. You only have one Mom, you came from her loins, no one else's. Too bad you can't realize how wrong you are to judge. No one said you have to see her every day but she's a human being and human beings make mistakes. Glad you are perfect and your kid is perfect. Hope you always remain "perfect." Merry Christmas! Sounds like you have a lot of people backing you up, so you think you're right in ditching your Mom and Grandmom. People in my family have done horrible things to me but I rise above it, send them a Christmas card and wish them a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year. I am not God. Perhaps you don't see your Mom's tears, but believe me, one day you will be sorry and it will be too late. Get a heart! You are telling your son in effect, "These are bad people, write them off!" Bad advice methinks. You are hearing only what you want to hear, so go ahead and laugh your a@@ off if it makes you happy. Watch out you are not that "Mom" one day, you've set the scene and have written the script, to "write Moms off."
Obviously a man wrote that Good Wife Guide - sm
Boy that thing is amazing, hard to believe that that is how people thought and behaved back then, Stepford wives. Guess some men were sad when women finally woke up and smelled the coffee. ---I only remember a couple things though, but I was born in 1965--- drive-in movies and the metal ice trays, rabbit ears, the star/sun ray clock, and we had an old metal Pepsi cooler which had my dad kept would probably be worth a small fortune now.
If you exercised your right to vote and wrote to your congressmen/women,
passive people just sit back ,allow bad things happening, and then whine about it, while aggressive people actually DO SOMETHING about matters they disagree with.
Mitch Alboum wrote a book about this called
Boy, Hayseed..you just wrote my story..Today, it occured to me...
I'm going nuts doing this job. The longer I sit here every day the fruit-ier I am getting. I have to force myself to leave the house and when I get out there I have panic attacks. I'm freaked out by traffic, freaked out by too many people and I just want to run home and put my sweats back on. A few days ago was the topper, and it was at that point, that I started getting on the job search for a job OUTSIDE of home. Isolation is NOT good. My husband had just made dinner, we ate, then I went back to my office for about an hour, and I irritatingly came out of my office to ask my husband why he hadn't decided yet what he wanted for dinner as it was getting late. He looked at me with that WHAT THE BLEEP BLEEP!!! and I just knew it was time to get AWAY from the computer and socialize with real people. I truly feel this is NOT healthy. I have started wierding myself out by some of the stuff I'm doing. I have even started forgetting people's names and numbers that I swore I would never forget...AND I refuse to believe I'm getting older or that I have Alzheimers. It's something much deeper..WORK..LOL..Well, it's late and I need to get back to work so I can keep losing my mind..See ya. 
I wrote my local buffalo rock and they told me a
I will look for your Folger's Instant Straight up tomorrow when I go!
I wrote a $10 check to Wal-Mart and turned in to a $40 mistake so far.
Here is what happened. When you write a check at this Wal-Mart here, they have you sign something and give the check back. I stuck it back in my purse. They are supposed to void. I was cleaning at my purse that day and paying bills at the same time. I wrote a $250 to pay a loan. I really don't know how it happened but I must have torn that one up and sent the $10 voided check to the loan. A week later, i was looking at my acct online. I notice that that $10 I had written to Wal-Mart went through twice. I called the bank and asked why. They said, "oh, it looks like Wal-Mart double dipped." so I was refunded the money. I don't know who refunded the money, was it the bank, Wal-mart, I don't know. Anyway, I became concerned about why that 250 check didn't come in so I called that loan company. They said $10 was credit to my acct. I did not connect the 2 at the time. I thought, 10, I don't write $10 to this acct. The man told me he would look into it incase there was a mistake. He called back the day later and said that was a $10 originally written to Wal-Mart and we cashed it. So I called the bank and told them. They then had me go to wal-mart because they said I owed them $10 back. I go to wal-mart and they say no it is the Telecheck, company they use for this service and they thanked me for trying to clear it up and said Telecheck will be contacting me. So I get a letter in the mail saying I owe $40 plus I am not allowed to write checks anywhere that uses their service until I pay that $40 back.
What scares me is that that check said VOID on it and that other bunch was still able to cash it and get their money, which I think was dishonest of them...also my bank let it go through. Now what if I were to loose a bunch of those type checks and someone cashes it AGAIN. Man I would be out a lot. Do you think any of this is right? TIA.
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